Original subtitles

This is Gianfranco Pacciarelli from the Olympic Stadium in Rome.

In this day, on which Rome was born 2,700 years ago,...

...the regional groups, coming from any part of Italy...

...to celebrate the folkloristic national day,...

...are making their entrance into the Ivory Stadium of 100,000 People.

Too bad that our radio listeners can't watch this and the show...

...made by the large and passionate Roman public, crowding terraces...

...and welcoming the pleasant and picturesque guests...

...during this day dedicated to Romulus.

Torture Me But Kill Me with Kisses

Marisa!

What? Are you under a spell? Dance, c'mon!

Let's go, missus, stop chatting!

Let's go, the bus is leaving! - I'm here, don't shout.

Oh, Padova, do you play or drink? A tiny bit of it for me too, c'mon!

Catania group, gather!

C'mon, Toni, let's go!

Marisa! Hey! Marisa!

Let us touch your tits!

This Roman people aren't so polite.

Tired?

Well, they have made us go hiking so long, after all.

Have you enjoyed Rome? - Well, so and so.

Not so much.

Hold it for a while, Teresa. - No problem, I'll hold it.

May I introduce myself?

Balestrini Marino.

Her name's Di Giovanni Marisa.

Why are you meddling in it?

Di Giovanni Marisa's a nice name.

Would you like a licorice chewing gum?

No, thanks! It makes my teeth black. - Marisa!

Let's go! - Oh, my dad again, let's go, c'mon!

Please. - I'm coming!

That guy is so handsome.

He's become a man, anyhow, and then...

...has he anything like Little Tony? Just the lock. - I like him.

Sacrofante, Marche? - Yes.

Thanks.

Excuse me, where's the town?

Over there, behind the mountains.

If you go the shortcut, it's 3,5 or almost 4 km far from here.

Not further.

Any means of transport? - What?

Many thanks.

Where did that madman with a luggage get out of?

He must have been airdropped!

What are you doing, Marisa? Are you under a spell?

Miss!

Miss Marisa!

Don't you remember me?

Balestrini Marino.

We already met. - Where? In Ancona?

Not exactly.

In San Benedetto del Tronto, l'Aquila or Pescasseroli?

You travel a lot. - Travelling is understanding, as it's said.

Even deep thoughts are inside such a nice looking girl.

It happened in Rome last April, don't you remember?

It may be, I've forgot.

I haven't got my thoughts in order about it.

Where are you going? It's so cold.

To the male trousers factory. - Well done.

Why don't you ask me: "Why are you here?"

Me here? - No, me!

Don't you ask? - No.

I arrived here by train just a hour ago.

Did you go the shortcut?

Yes.

If you had gone the sealed road, you'd have easily come here in 5'.

They used to go the shortcut in the old age.

Alright, anyway...

I was able to find a job for me here at Sacrofante.

But the main reasons why I've moved here are two.

As to the second one, if you allow me, you already know what I mean.

Sorry but I'm not so interested in one of the two reasons!

Yes.

Ditto for the second one.

Yes.

As to the third one, I'm not used to talk to the first guy coming along.

That's right.

Good morning. - Good morning.

Balestrini Marino, you're here for me!

You came a long way for me!

My heart is beating so fast now!

BARBERSHOP

Mr Pittiluti Vincenzo? - Here he is.

Thanks.

The door! - Yes.

Good morning.

Here.

On the basis of your request for an experienced worker...

...on the bullettin of Barbers' Association from Ancona.

Any references?

This is due to my wife, who has lighted the little stove.

For the last two years I've been working at The Passenger's House...

...in Frosinone and for a year at Remo and Jolanda's, in Rieti.

Beauty salon.

Here's the pink slip signed by Mr Remo.

Countersigned by Jolanda too,...

...if you want to check. - How do you taper hair?

By the point of scissors. - Hair clipper?

I avoid it. - How do you clip hair?

By simple and serrated scissors.

Traditional hairstyles?

Regular haircut: Oberdan, Mascagni or Umberta style.

Also a special touch for comb-over: simple, turned over or reverse.

A speciality of mine: friction with egg yolk,...

...with white for wilted hair bulbs.

Modern hairstyles?

Sculpture by razor, candle scorched haircut,...

...lengthening of curls by blow drier, teasing, Ringo style,...

...crew cut, curtained, layered, pointed, pear-shaped hairstyle...

...and I can make the long hairstyle too, though it's passed its peak.

But if needed...

Ok, let's see what you can do with Mr Tortorelli.

Nice head!

Is this your usual haircut or have you ridden a motorbike?

Sit down there, Mr Tortorelli.

I want someone to take care of my hands. - Manicure!

A man?

It'd be too unscrupulous to employ a woman for that!

Right.

And with the spring coming...

I've caught you, rascal!

Let me go or I'll call the priest now, you know? - I doubt it.

You're too self confident, Casanuova!

I admit... Where are you going now?

Sit down here for a while!

Any chance of a kiss after these three months of love quarrels?

Let time run its course, rogue!

Alright, as you like.

Try to catch me! - No, stop running,...

...it can do harm to you.

No, come here. Marisa!

Where has she gone now?

Marisa! Where are you?

Well, I'm going away, ok? I'll go back to Don Antonio.

I go and play blindman's bluff, so I'll have more fun.

I'm sure that in this great immensity...

...someone thinks about me and won't forget about me,...

...and one day I'll find a little of love for me too,...

...for me who am a nothing, in such an immensity...

I like the music, not the lyrics, though.

These are lyrics for lovers, like me and you.

Oh, many thanks! So, must I be a nothing?

Meaning a nothing if compared to the immensity...

...of all the things surrounding us.

This doesn't convince me at all. Our love itself is an immensity.

Nothing must be all the other things, if ever.

In the sense that nothing exists outside it?

Meaning outside of our love?

It's obvious.

It may be. After all, this idea's also in...

...the song "There's a white house".

Wait and I'll read it all for you.

Lara, I'll love you for all my life! - Now we've to leave each other, Yuri.

Goodbye forever, goodbye!

And step aside!

Will you let me watch this Doctor Zhivago or not?

No, don't look at me like that, Lara!

I'll never forget our little house in the snow.

Yuri, my love! - Shall we meet again in Moscow?

If God is going to help us.

Goodbye, Lara! - Goodbye, Yuri!

My love, goodbye! - Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Nazareno, is there a seat free? - No.

Oh my! There's my dad!

Where?

Behind there.

Excuse me!

Ouch!

Yuri, help! - Victor Komarovsky, stop!

I'll never ever give my blessing to you, never!

Get my words stuck in your mind!

Wretch, never!

You're the daughter of a great artist!

Don't ever forget it!

That guy is nothing but a bungler, that's what he's!

He's young and will fight his way

Young? But he might be your father!

He's smart, learned and...

...if you want to know, he even won the silver scissors!

Forget those silver scissors, he's penniless!

Listen, you'll leave that guy right away!

Or rather, bloody hell!

I'll smash and bury you under this stone!

AMALIA AND LIBERO UNITED FOREVER

When you read this letter,...

...it'll be too late to stop the insane gesture by the undersigned.

Victims of the world's egoism...

...and of the poor understanding towards us, young people.

Will we ever forgive who's driven us to do that? Certainly.

Regret will take care of making him suffer.

The undersigned won't be alone in the immensity,...

...but will stay with the memory of those who were kind to them,...

...though they're a very few ones.

Yours truly,...

...Balestrini Marino and Di Giovanni Marisa.

The train's late.

The butterflies are the souls of the dead.

Marino, will we become butterflies too?

It may be.

Excuse me.

Poor dad, who knows how long he will cry...

He will learn the lesson then.

Here it is.

Don't be afraid, Marisa.

I'm here with you.

I'm you and you're me...

Who dies first, suffers less.

Do you want to take my place?

No, thanks.

Marisa! - Marino!

Look, these two wretches!

Just my luck! It's always something with me!

Hey! What the fuck are you doing?

Just under my train? - Do your duty and go ahead!

Forget going ahead, blast you!

In any case we won't move away. - No? Come!

Keep your hands off the lady's legs, you know!

I'll tear out her leg, got it?!

No, you won't tear out just anything, got it?

What a horrible intention!

What has driven you to such a decision?

Never despair, my sons, Providence gives according to need.

Its name itself says that.

Providence gives according to need!

HERE LIES THE UNFORGETTABLE ARTIST ARTEMIO DI GIOVANNI

FAIR, HONEST AND GENEROUS

HE HIMSELF CARVED IT 1910 - 1968

But temptation nested at the Adelaide's guest house.

I'm sure that in this great immensity...

...someone thinks about me and won't forget about me.

What a manly voice this guy has.

He makes my blood boil.

I won't be alone all my life long...

...and one day...

...I'll find...

...a little of love for me too,...

...for me who...

...am a nothing in the immensity... blast you!

What's up? - Young master, coffee's ready.

Thanks, madam Adelaide.

But you still didn't notice I don't use to drink...

...coffee during these three months I've been staying here?

Marino, you'll make me do something crazy.

Agreed, but you can't even give chase to me...

...as if you were a man and me a woman.

Why are you so obstinate?

But with so many handsome young men all around,...

...it's not hard to choose!

Since my poor Eugenio died,...

...I haven't been looking at a man's face, as I'm so serious.

I don't doubt it, madam, and understand you. I'm a man too.

Maybe you just happen to be in heat now,...

...but t will pass, you'll see.

Why are you rejecting me, am I so bad looking maybe?

No, not at all, madam.

But it's not tactless of me, it's just that I'm already engaged.

Marino!

Tell me, madam.

Go along with me! - Gladly, but I can't.

Next month I'll get married, ouch.

One more reason to indulge your whim. - I never drew back!

Oh, but you're biting!

A little kiss at least, little Marino, be good!

You've just gone wild today, let's try to stay good friends.

What would I do with your friendship? - Come!

Marino! - You make me be late, madam.

And I've still to wash my feet!

You're horny! - How rude!

Do you think that, if I had no right to do, I'd have done it?

I'm a lady, you know, more than many other women, got it?

If another woman does it again and again, it's fine for you, isn't it?

Close your eyes, hence a widow like me has more right to do it!

A 20 aged woman would be filthier if she did that, I do tell you!

Who are you alluding to? - To a bride-to-be.

That is?

That is, madam?

May my lips be sealed.

Who are you alluding to, madam?

Swallow, keep quiet, don't talk about that.

Frankness is an enemy of love. - No, you'll talk now! Ouch!

Listen, madam,...

...I've always been like a gentleman with you.

But if you don't talk now,...

...I won't even follow manners and will beat you, you know?

Marino, don't let me say a thing you couldn't like!

Ouch! - What will I do, must I break this?

So swear on your mother you won't tell anybody what I'll say to you!

Alright, I swear.

I don't know anything precisely, only by hearsay.

When the priest organized a mixed pilgrimage to Assisi last year,...

...also Marisa went to.

So what?

When the pullman left again, Marisa wasn't on it.

She preferred to spend a night with another man in a hotel.

In a hotel...and with whom?

Scortichini Guido, who works in a paper mill.

Are you Scortichini Guido?

Yes.

What do you want?

Nothing.

I just wanted to meet you...

...and see your face and who are you.

So what?

Let time run its course.

And remember that,...

...if you're the Colossus of Rhodes,...

...I'm not one of Snow White's dwarfs.

Watch your back, got it?

I've got the proof of your double life by now, my dear Marisa.

Yes, that's true, I told you I'm not interested in your past,...

...but it was because I thought you were pure like a lily!

Who can know whether tomorrow,...

...while you're swearing eternal love to me, you won't...

...give yourself away to another man indecently?

How will be our future?

What will I say to my sons when they see you coming back home at dawn?

That their mother is a whore?

No, go away, dirty bitch, take!

Don't come into my view anymore, you know!

Take!

But Marino, excuse me, what are you doing?

The tonsure, Don Antonio, why?

The tonsure?

I'm Don Antonio instead!

Oh, good God! Look what this guy has done to me!

And now who will fix the marshal's hair?

But...Don Antonio came first.

Sure!

Hello, Marino!

Hi, Teresa. - Don't forget the umbrella's mine, you know!

Teresa and Antonietta have accepted to be my bridesmaids.

Why? Aren't you happy?

Yes.

Have you also decided where we shall go for our honeymoon trip?

Is it ok for you Assisi? Do you know some hotels there?

Marino, what are you saying?

Once you took offence because I hid the fact that I wear glasses from you!

Yes! Pretend you don't remember that!

You told I'm not sincere, you even said to me: hypocrite!

Yes, madam.

I use to wear glasses, I'm astigmatic.

But to be astigmatic is not dishonourable at all, you know?

It's more dishonourable going to hotels.

I'm you and you're me!

No, my dear, because, if I were you, I'd be disgusting for myself!

What are you doing? No reactions?

You don't answer, I know, and don't defend yourself!

So I will speak.

And I say only one thing: Scortichini, with all due respect.

What's your answer?

It's the second time, I inform you there won't be a third one!

Lara!

Yuri, my love, help!

Help!

I'm coming, Lara!

Yuri!

Victor Komarovsky, stop!

No!

No!

Murderer!

Poor him, he has been raving for a week.

Hey! Wake up!

Are you Victor Komarovsky?

I'm Scortichini Guido.

What are you doing here in Moscow?

He's losing his marbles.

Scortichini! - You're an idiot!

Instead of going crazy, excuse me, couldn't you ask for an explanation?

What's this nonsense about Marisa and me?

Hey, Marino, I've brought this here for an explanation.

Yes?

I do care a little about you and that other stupid woman.

Last time I talked to her, I was 12 and she was not even 7 years old.

Look, I never made a pilgrimage to Assisi.

Believe me, Marino.

If she went there, she must have gone there with another man.

Which other man? Believe me, Marisa has been with me all that day long.

I remember it well, it was the Saint Francesco's day.

October the 4th, a year ago, it was raining.

That's malicious gossip, Marino!

Scandalmongers, talebearers! People who want to hurt you.

What are you doing? Are you getting up?

My trousers. - You're getting up with a fever.

He's getting up. - I must ask for Marisa's forgiveness.

But, my son, you're sick and may have a collapse. - Marisa!

Give me the trousers. - I was expecting that, c'mon!

Who is it?

Marisa!

Marisa has gone to the station right now.

You've been very bad with her, she will leave for Rome forever!

Rome? - To make a new life for herself!

She doesn't want to see you again, she said!

To Rome, oh my God...

Blast you! What are you doing?

Who's Marisa?

A blonde girl,...

...leaving for Rome. - For Rome?

This isn't going to Rome at all! - Her name is...

It's going to Ancona!

The train for Rome is leaving now, it's there.

Where's the thingy? - What?

The thingy. - Which thingy?

Here it is. - What are you doing?

I can't make it.

You draw, as I can't make it.

I can't make it.

Some days later in the Eternal City...

Good morning, I'be been seeking...

...this lady for five days for very urgent reasons.

I know she works in a factory of sport...

...plants called Toni or Coni, not featured in the telephone book.

Can you help me to send this picture...

...to all the police cars, by any chance?

I don't think so. - You don't think so, do you?

And then can't you see we're riding on horses?

Anyway, go to the police station.

But I just don't think so, you know. Coni...

Coni...tell me!

Yes?

Have you said "Coni"?

Or Comi, Toni, Coni? - It must be Coni!

Coni's sports facility.

Coni's sports facility?

Indeed! - Thanks, many thanks.

Yes, ice cream cones!

C'mon, lazy girls, leave the stands and go to H sector!

Your friend Teresa told me she came to this sports facility...

...holding a position of responsibility and satisfaction.

Forget responsibility!

She used to come here to clean the trash after any match,...

...what's that responsibility?

The fact is she was always crying so I told her to piss off.

Where has she gone now?

Let's see.

Hey, Concetta! Where has Marisa gone?

No one knows.

No one knows. - Who's he?

He's asked who you're. - Her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend! - Big son of a bitch!

He's said you're... - I've heard.

Well, so, goodbye.

Why don't you ask some employment agency?

A similar bureau sent her to us.

If she doesn't start to be on the game, you can find her there.

Agency...if she doesn't start to be on the game, I can find her. - Here.

Will you set my hand free?

It gets stuck sometimes and is stiff for being a boxer.

But I've to go.

C'mon.

Excuse me. - Bye!

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY

Have you taken a careful look at her?

Many people are looking for waitresses now...

...and all of you want to take part in the singing contests!

Go and hoe the ground rather,...

...as you're not worth to be at the service at gentlemen's houses!

Shall I be a waitress myself?

C'mon, everything's falling down of my hands, as I'm butterfingers!

Blast you and these four coarse louts!

Ladies and gentlemen?

May you and the rotten ugly cuckolds...

...of your fathers drop dead!

Who is? - May I come in?

Provided you've got your fathers.

May I ask you for information please?

Are you a policeman maybe?

No, someone has sent me here.

I'm looking for... - A job, I know.

Are you a waiter? - No.

Because many people're looking for waiters now and would pay good money.

Have you got a pink slip?

No, I haven't. What's a pink slip?

Oh, don't worry because we use to write custom made pink slips.

We're not afraid of anything. - Yes.

Here, we're left with these ones.

Where do I put them, here? - Don't touch it or everything will fall down!

I wanted to ask if you know this young lady.

Who's? - Here she's.

Again!

Why again?

I said I didn't want to see her here anymore!

To whom? - Hello?

Oh, this is the Consulate of Paraguay. Wait, madam.

Say: "I'm the consul's assistant, I'm putting you through to him now".

I'm the consul's assistant, I'm putting you through to him now.

This is the consul, madam.

Oh, tell me, madam.

Cucchiari Emilia has been at our service as a waiter for two years.

Close the door, can't you feel how cold it is?

She's very good! You can hire her certainly.

See you, madam.

So you know her. - Marisa Di Giovanni, sure!

Who are you? - I'm...

Do you know that everywhere I find a job for her,...

...as soon as the master pays her a compliment,...

...she leaves everything and goes away?

She thinks she's the only woman who has got a twat.

It's even happened that once I slapped in her face so that...

...I made her head spin around!

Meaning what? That you laid your hands on her?

Do you think she didn't do anything?

She kicked me on the leg and almost broke my femur.

Look! - Well I never!

Tell me, where's she now?

Where has she gone? - What do I know?

I said her: "Go to hell!", but I don't know whether she has gone.

Well, if you want to be a waiter, stop by.

But forget her, as it's better...

...to have a dead in your house than a native from Marche at your door!

Oh, my!

If I come into being again, I'd really be a consul.

The Etruscans used to live in my region...

...and often beat the Romans gladly!

That's it.

M. M. M. I'm searching and waiting for you, Marisa,...

...in front of the obelisk of Akezeum.

Yes, in front of the obelisk. - At 12:45.

Quarter to one. Your brokenhearted Marino.

Your Marino.

Excuse me, where is this obelisk, in Mexico, perhaps?

No, it's actually here,...

...along the archeological promenade.

Axum! There's an extra z and k.

Please, fix those errors.

It's that my boarding house's just in the nearby,...

...otherwise I'd have choosen a simplier obelisk.

A. A. A. New very young manicure,...

...top of the range, strictly confidential, no porter.

Manicure? Think that the manicure is actually a man in my town.

Marino?

Have you been waiting for me so long?

To be honest, I wasn't waiting for you at all.

I read your ad on the newspaper.

Oh, yes, but I'm waiting for Marisa.

I'm Marisa.

But I'm waiting for another Marisa. - Oh, I'm sorry.

But if destiny has set this meeting, why giving up?

Why?

Goodbye.

May I buy you a drink? - Please, miss, do not insist.

Let me go along with you at least. - I don't drink, thanks.

Please, sir...

Oh, at last pasta and beans! - Actually with no pasta and beans.

Boy sad as me, ah, ah...

Do not song while eating.

You can recognize a lady from her manners while eating.

Excuse me.

Where are you going?

I read an ad and...

U. CICERI TAILOR

I read your ad on this newspaper...

...for a skilled maker of trousers.

May I come in?

Good morning.

So see you next Thursday for the fitting.

I go and have dinner, Mr Umberto, see you.

So, what do you say? Can you hire me?

As I'm in a need of work.

I lodge with the nuns of Santa Maria Ausiliatrice at Monte Mario.

I used to work for a factory of trousers and now I'd not be here,...

...if only I hadn't had to leave my town in Marche...

...because of a wicked man. I thought he loved me.

Instead he charged me with such a dirty thing,...

...just to get rid of me.

My poor dad told me not to trust that man.

It's bur...ning!

Mute?

Deaf-mute?

Coffee.

You're very kind.

Bar Quintigliani.

One coffee for Mr Umberto!

Two coffees.

He wants the usual hag coffee.

Quick, c'mon!

How could I understand him, if I hadn't been a soldier?

Time goes by but the flame has not put out inside Marisa's heart yet.

Him?

Love?

Dead?

Your love's dead.

Are you actually sure?

Women!

Other women!

Marino, the door! - Oh, was it the bell?

Take that for a while, madam.

No, hold the tray! I've to open the door, just a moment.

Where did you find him? - Marino!

It's incredible!

Oh, poor thing, it's a pitiful case.

He used to be a barber but they fired him as he did nothing...

...but talking about a woman named Marisa who left him.

Think that one day a customer told him off...

...and he put the shaving brush into his mouth.

How nice that mens suffering for love still exist today.

When I think of that pig of my husband!

Will I carry it? - No, you take my trench.

Aren't you, miss, feeling well? - No.

Excuse me.

The kitchen is on the right!

Here's our general!

Guards, get ready! - At ease!

Show me, what's it in there? - Oh, a secret!

A military secret!

Secrets are my middle name, aren't they, General?

One drop. - Enough!

Marino! Give me that lemon! - Right away, mr engineer.

Guys, bring out the mayonnaise! Who has stolen my mayonnaise?

Here's the lemon. - Oh, thanks, Marino.

Any news about that Marisa?

Not at all, my engineer.

I've also gone to the club of the people from Marche,...

...but unfortunately she didn't enrol herself as a member.

Why don't you talk to the General?

To the General, why?

Because he's a member of Sifar! - Secret Service!

Oh, he can find your Marisa in a very short time.

Really?

Rather, go and talk to him immediately. Go, right now!

But don't tell him that I've told you! Go, c'mon, quick!

Will you bet I'll win the first prize? - No!

Sir general... - What?

May I talk to you about a bit confidential thing?

Just now!

About what?

A girl unfairly accused has disappeared.

The cream! - The cream? - Where's the cream?

Well, has a girl disappeared? - Here's it, I've found it.

Give me.

If you were so kind, your help would be essential.

Just a moment, I didn't understand anything.

This person, this girl... - Yes.

Where does she come from? - From Marche.

Her name's Di Giovanni Marisa.

But, since I've accused her unfairly of having...

...had a sexual intercourse with a certain Scortichini Guido,...

...she run away to Rome, got lost and can't be found anymore.

And you're telling me?

Well, so, if you want, working for the Secret Service...

Oh, holy smoke!

Can't you understand you're making my sauce spoil?

Yes. - God damn!

I don't give a shit about your Marisa Di Giuseppe!

Chefs, hurry up!

C'mon, quick, Excellency, Honourable...

Take the turkey, look, it's heavy, you know!

The dinner is ready and the contest begins!

Action stations!

Careful, gentlemen, the wine's going to be uncorked!

To each dish its own wine.

And then, get struck, we have got a Frescobaldi wine from 1911!

Slowly! - Yes.

Rare example!

A 57 years old wine.

Slowly, do not pull, bend it gently!

Bend it gently, idiot!

Very slowly, wretch!

Very slowly, if you crush it, I'll kill you!

Yes.

Slowly.

A violet, a candle and a glass.

Have you heard? Pop, what a voice.

Here, engineer. - Oh, thanks.

Here, let's heat its neck well for a while.

Here, now you pour very slowly.

As if it were nitroglycerine. Slowly, slowly, stop!

Oh, holy smoke! Guys, you have no idea.

My friends, how wonderful!

I drank no less than a wine from Bettino Ricasoli's cellars once,...

...but this is really an unique wine.

It has something recalling the Medici family, amazing!

Mr engineer. - Tell me, my dear.

We're mistaken and have open another bottle.

It's written "Wine cooperatives of Velletri 1968" here.

Engineer, we blew it! - Idiot, you're always thinking...

...about that floozy of Marisa and got the wrong bottle!

Idiot!

I've the wrong bottle, but you actually made...

...your mouth move.

You've tasted it.

Both of us are idiots, if anything.

How dare you?

I'll slap in your face, you know! - I don't think so, excuse me.

Engineer!

I'll kill you, you know!

C'mon!

Engineer, you won't get your hands dirty with a waiter!

Here, look at the result. Let's give the power to the niggers!

Automatic long-distance call

Hello, Sacrofante Marche, is it you, Don Antonio?

Don Antonio, I'm Marino, I can talk for a very few seconds!

Don't speak, I've inserted only 3 tokens, the last money I'm left with!

I'm ruined, chased away from the boarding house,...

...my luggage's been seized, but this is nothing!

Quiet, Don Antonio, let me speak!

I've been looking for Marisa in vain for 4 months!

She's definitely lost!

Answer to these two questions right away!

First: have you heard about Marisa from her relatives in case?

Second: can you send me some money?

Don Antonio, answer to me quickly!

Aren't you Don Antonio?

Who are you? Whom am I speaking to?

San Benedetto del Tronto?

But...

San Benedetto...

Hello, Piero!

Hi, Piero!

Thanks.

Drink.

Put them in there.

Madam, may I take a nice picture of your son with Santa Claus?

And this handsome boy! Would you like a picture with Santa Claus?

It's really cold, isn't it?

Who did give you those football shoes?

The Red Cross, they were for the earthquake victims.

Are you in troubles?

May I introduce myself? I'm Cerioni.

You know what you have to do? Call the Crisis Center.

It's a charity, they help everyone.

I was worse than you.

And I called them.

Was the phone line busy?

You don't have to care for the material things.

What matters is your soul's calm.

I'm calm now.

Call, believe me.

You can always find someone there, good doctors, priests, psychiatrists.

All volunteers who give advice and don't ask for money.

Everything's free of charge.

Wait.

For a token.

Here, smile. Keep still.

We can't give advice about the pill!

Let's not talk about that!

For God's sake! Just let's not mention it!

What? - Will you answer?

Let's not deal with such subjects, let's not give such advice!

Hello?

Crisis Center?

Excuse me, who are you?

Listen, Doctor, I'm going to commit suicide,...

...but they told me to talk to you first.

What do you have to tell me? - Me? You've to tell me!

It's Christmas today, call again after the holidays.

Yes, no, no!

Yes, alright. Where are you now?

Angelo, let's go!

I've always her in my eyes and in my mind.

Yet think how bizarre it's,...

...or, rather, terrible...

...I can't remember Marisa sometimes.

You'll say: "What are you saying, Marino?"

Yes, Doctor.

As if she hadn't her face, without...her image.

It's like an egg.

It's even worse then, as I feel like...

...I've lost her forever.

What's the reason?

The evil I did to her,...

...or all those pills I was given by the psychiatrist?

Ah, a psychiatrist saw you? - Yes, Dr Scardiani.

Do you know him? - Yes, I do!

He's the best, isn't he?

Well? - Yes..

Dad, mom said... - I'm coming right away.

...we had to go! - I'm coming right away.

Nice girls! You've a beautiful family, Doctor.

Marino. - Tell me. - Listen carefully.

I think that this woman,...

...this Marisa,... - Yes.

...this egg, as you sharply defined her,...

...doesn't exist.

Doesn't she exist? - She doesn't exist.

Meaning what?

She's just a result of your imagination.

We call it "transactional need".

Transactional?

In other words,... - Yes.

Who's Marisa?

She's...my... - No, Marisa's your mom!

My mom?

Your need for a mother...

...who's probably passed away very young.

Aged 86 years. - Here, see?

It's your imagination, not your memory,...

...which puts a face to this being who doesn't exist.

You must react, react!

Anyway, we'll deal with this subject again,...

...if you kindly call me back.

But not before Epiphany, agreed?

Agreed. - Take.

And seek a female company, Marino, a real one, though!

Tangible, got it? Everyone needs that sometimes.

Agreed? - Yes.

Happy New Year and have a cigarette.

No, thanks, smoking makes me dizzy. - Alright, smoke after meals then.

After meals?

Whose meals?

I've caught you, rascal!

Let me go or I'll call the priest now, you know? - I doubt it.

You're too self confident, Casanuova!

My mom...

Ladie and gentlemen, as usual, Mister Ok is going to celebrate...

...his 70th anniversary and the New Year...

...with the customary plunge into Tiber.

Ladie and gentlemen, give nicely something to...

...our generous and evergreen sportsman...

..for such funny public attraction, for such quivering winter,

...the water temperature is...

So, young man, why did you do such a stupid action, huh?

Well...

The evils of love.

What? You're anaemic, malnourished, unemployed,... - Yes.

...homeless and you throw yourself in the river for the evils of love?

You can see that good feelings still exist.

And the idiots too.

Tell me. Hey!

Hey! Mr Evils of love!

Are you sure it's the evils of love?

That's for playing it at the lottery.

See? The insane gesture is no. 28.

The river is no. 14.

The day is no. 1.

But the reason must be true, got it?

Because, if it's a bad check, is no. 62.

If it's bankruptcy, it's no. 68.

What's bankruptcy?

Ah, hence it's not bankruptcy.

So it's the evils of love, it's no. 32.

Let's become partners, are you in?

100 lire each.

Oh, were you cuckolded, maybe?

Because, if you were cuckolded, it's no. 58.

Balestrini Marino, who's?

Here.

There's a lady who wants to talk to you, take the bedpan away.

Marisa!

Is that really you?

Yes, Marino.

This can't be Marisa, it's just a dream.

Take a seat.

How are you?

Sit down, make yourself comfortable here.

Marisa!

Marisa!

How do I look? A bit down, right?

Do I look a bit down?

No.

How nicely you've done your beard.

I had to sell my razor.

Since my hand was starting to tremble a bit,...

...I could no longer work.

I'm feeling better now, but...

...once, well, my hand was trembling.

How did you come to know?

On a newspaper.

I thought I was going to die. - Me too.

Mister Ok saved my life.

I was cursing him, but now I'm blessing him.

I'm blessing him!

Did you do that for me, Marino, for me?

Yes, Marisa, my dear, I've been looking for you for a long time.

For me?

I've been going through all the streets to search for you.

My Marisa, my dear! - No!

I'm not yours.

I didn't get it, sorry.

Too late.

Too late for what, my love?

I'm Miss Ciceri now.

Who's Miss Ciceri?

Me.

I got married.

Married?

Well done.

Have you said "married", Marisa?

Tell me it's not true, Marisa.

It's not true, Marisa, it can't be like that.

It can't be that you've become Miss Ciceri.

It can't be, Marisa.

Hey! Look, Miss Ciceri has left.

I had told you I was right, you've been cuckolded!

Being cuckolded is no. 58.

If these numbers are drawn, we shall become rich.

Let's share it, I'll give you 40%.

28, 14, 1, and 58, we have drawn four winning numbers.

What are you doing here?

Are you surprised?

It all evens out, my dear.

I'm back, rich and ruthless, like the Count of Monte Cristo!

Ready?

Ah, your wife!

Nice to meet you, you've made a good bargain!

Are you here to hurt me? - To hurt you?

A cannonball would be needed!

- Can...non...ball. - Oh, yes! Cool.

You've even got sarcastic. - You think so?

I don't agree.

What is he doing? Is he reassembling it?

When an idol, in which you believe, crumbles...

...what to do? To cry, maybe?

No, just kick the pieces and laugh!

Bitterly, but laugh at everything.

Nice jacket! If he satisfies me, I'll buy other six of them.

Marino, now go away!

What is he doing? Does he actually cook?

Mr Ciceri, have I finished to try on?

Mr Ci...Mr Ci... may I take off the jack...?

What is he meaning with these moves?

He's not an oaf like you! He's invited you to lunch,...

...but you say no. And go away!

Bu..ca..ti..ni. - What?

Bu..ca..ti..ni!

Whatever. I'll gladly accept, I've a good appetite, anyway, thanks.

Have you gone crazy? He did it as a compliment.

It's quite a setup you got here, you've even the cook.

Now, Marino, go away,...

...get out of this house, or I'll tell him everything!

Really? How can you tell him!? By your fingers?

This way?

Why? Did I go with you sometimes?

You didn't go with me, but you could do it!

Because I'm a gentleman and didn't insist!

You're a coward! - No, an idiot!

Otherwise I wouldn't have thrown myself in the river for you!

I wish you were died!

Ah, the truth has come out now, killer!

Look at him, you've married un buffoon, a clown!

A circus clown! Here's who you've married!

You're here to dishonor the house of an unhappy man,...

...to make a mockery of a man fallen into a serious disgrace,...

...who got the hearing and the voice loss...

...during the bombing of San Lorenzo quarter!

Sorry, but the worst disgrace where he's fallen in...

...is when he married one like you!

Say it again! - Do you think you're scaring me?

Ouch!

Come.

Come here, Marisa, why,... - Let me go!

Why are you so perfidious? - Let me go!

No, no, you're mine. - I never would be yours!

You'll be now! - I'd rather be dead!

No, I want you to stay alive!

I'll call for help! - Please do it!

Help, Umberto! - He can't hear you, anyway.

Help! - Shut up!

Shut up, I say! Come here, Marisa.

Marino, you're the devil! - Yes, I'm.

I'm the devil, you've made me like that, Marisa, you!

If he discovers us, he will kill us! - We shall die together, then.

The scent of your skin drives me crazy!

So you make everything dirty! - Yes, I want to!

Who's whistling? - It's him! He's coming!

You've come here to condemn me to hell.

We'll go into the eternal flames, just like all the sinners.

Who cares!

What is he doing now? Is it the bill?

What is it?

A game? Is he playing some trivia? What is it?

What is he drawing? Nick Nack Patty?

Holidays?

No, little birds?

- Lit..tle..birds. - little birds, ah, here we go!

What is he doing?

The sun!

Well, sure, it's springtime!

A nice day has come out. - D..day!

Is it a nice day?

Ah, and you've made a Michelangelo painting to say it's a nice day.

Sun..day. - What's he saying? Translate.

Sunday.

He says that, if Sunday is a nice day,...

...we shall take a trip, and he wants you to come too.

Say no. - Yes, I say yes.

I'm coming too. Where will we go?

What? Shall we stay at home? Ah, no, it's a church.

What? Are we going to take a trip into a church?

What's that? A kettle?

No, a crusader, a ghost... Is it a monk?

What is it? A convent of monks?

Monks? - He's got an uncle who's a monk.

Ah, we shall go to a convent.

Got it, no need to draw more.

Got it, we shall go to a convent. C'mon, he's drawing all the monks, oh!

He also drawn the prior.

Why shall we go to a convent? Let's go somewhere else.

Cho..cola..te.

What? - Go...od.

They produce chocolate. - Ah, he's even gluttonous.

It's for me! He'd do anything for me.

How nice he's! Give me a pencil.

Hey! I want to make a drawing too.

No, I want to see if you understand that. Just a moment, excuse me.

Here, it's a chef's hat.

You're a good cook.

You're a good cook, you're a good cook.

Can't you hear me?

You're a good cook.

Co..ok. - Cook!

You've prepared a good food, gut, gut!

Look, he's deaf, not German!

Ah, yes.

What's he saying?

What's he saying?

He said you're so nice, he must be even blind then.

Well, yes, or he wouldn't have married you. Thanks!

Thanks.

What's wrong with him?

No, no, I couldn't hear anything. I didn't hear.

Silence, we have to keep quiet.

Ah, the nap! Please go, go and have a nap!

Go, Mr Ciceri!

Ah, no, I'm going away now! I have to go.

In case, I'm staying here just for a while.

Listen, Marisa... - I'm going away too.

Marisa!

Marisa, get out of this room, shameless!

Marino, go away, I beg you!

Listen carefully, Marisa, I have to talk to you alone!

I'll be waiting for you tonight at 8 pm,...

...at the pizza joint at Melozzo from Forlì street!

I won't come! - You'll come instead!

If you don't want me to make a big deal!

Just remember this name: Melozzo from Forlì!

At the corner in Vignola street!

You've come in the end.

Not for your threat, but just to say enough and get out of my life.

And, if I get out of your life,...

...what will I be given in exchange?

Is this a question?

What is it? An answer?

I mean, is it a question to get something?

Indeed.

Marino, let me remember about you with love.

You'd know how many times I've been thinking about you in these months.

I've called you: Marino, Marino, I want Marino!

Sorry, madam, Marino's over.

We've got this dry Frascati wine which is very good.

No, look, you can't understand.

If you say so.

And, if I give in, will you go away forever then?

Forever.

My God, if one day you have to miss me,...

I...this pizza is nice!

They're serving such a good pizza here, eat.

Is there a bit of pepper?

Come in.

My apartment isn't that great,...

...but it has a cool terrace over the railway.

A sink is in here.

There's no kitchen, anyway I use to eat at the train station,...

...where I work as the first barber.

There's a nice bathroom, owned by the other family, though.

But I can go to whenever I want.

Nothing is here, anyway there's my bed at night.

Will you have a drink?

Please make yourself comfortable.

There's a coat rack with three hooks.

It's so hot today!

Maybe I'd better take this wool tie off.

You're always very sure of yourself, aren't you?

A Carpano or a Punt & Mess?

Nothing.

No, I'd like to have a nip.

Cheers.

You're cold.

Should I have to be hot?

No, but the bare minimum, at least.

Got it.

Marisa.

Marisa, what's happening in you?

You have wanted only my body, Marino, you won't have my soul.

Is the light bothering you?

Will I lessen it?

Marisa!

My Marisa.

Marisa, Marisa.

Marisa...Marisa?

Marisa?

Marisa, what's wrong?

Marisa!

Miss Giulia!

Miss Giulia. - Do you have to go to the bathroom?

No, thanks. Can I borrow a bit of vinegar, please?

Do you have to season some food? - Yes, thanks.

Here, would you like some salt as well?

No, thanks, Miss Giulia, the vinegar is enough.

Thanks! - You're welcome, no problem.

Marisa?

Marisa, no, that's the oil.

Marisa, what's wrong, my love?

Marisa, don't scare me. Darling, Marisa.

C'mon, it's nothing, come here.

C'mon, darling, get up.

Marisa, it's nothing,...

You fainted for a while, it's nothing, how do you feel?

Will you drink something or take your hat off?

No, thanks. - Really? - I'm feeling better. - Yes.

Perhaps that pizza was bad for you.

No, forget the pizza...

You were right, I've been wrong.

The music is over... the friends go away.

Alright, Marisa, I'll go away forever.

Sorry for every mean thing I did to you and for my cloth.

I'll be left only with memories,...

...the taste of your kisses,...

...a record for the summer,...

...our Sundays in Macerata,...

...and the first words you had with me.

"Would you like a licorice chewing gum, miss?"

"No, thanks, it makes my teeth black."

Marino!

Are you feeling sick again?

How can I help you? We have got everything here.

Open this bottle of sparkling wine and some fried pastries, to start.

Fried pastries?

You don't run away from fried pastries at carnival.

Fried pastries! I go and see, but I'm not sure.

I've heard that you were looking for fried pastries before.

I've brought some of them, can I offer them?

Ah, thanks. - Thanks, very kind of you.

De Santis Edoardo, I work at Perucchi typography, right over here.

And, when I'm on shift, I come and eat here.

Who would come here otherwise?

The food here isn't that good, even at carnival.

Sure that once carnival was much better.

But today, it's good that it's always carnival today, isn't it?

But you're not listening to me. You know, when I start to talk...

Won't you have a fried pastry?

Oh, a fried pastry! Well, I have to taste it at least.

Are they good, aren't they? My mom made them.

He's not changed a lot but looks fine.

May I?

Is it your wife?

No, it's his wife.

Thanks.

Good.

You can't hear.

No!

Oh, tango, tango!

Go round, round.

Let's change!

Move away!

Today you haven't come. - I couldn't.

Tomorrow?

It's more and more difficult to find excuses.

I cannot stand this much longer. - As for me, much less than you.

I'd eat you. - Ah, please do it!

Maybe it's the only thing.

What, my love?

The insane gesture. - C'mon!

What have you understood? I didn't mean us!

Who, then?

Him!

Him? Why? Poor thing.

Poor thing? He beats me!

Does he beat you?

Has he noticed anything? - No.

He's doing terrible things to me in intimacy!

Really? What?

How do they call a man beating his wife in intimacy?

Well...nervous.

Forget nervous, it's a vice, a perversion.

So he's like a...masochistic.

What? You've been telling he was a saint, a good egg.

It was a lie. - A lie?

A merciful lie.

Go figure that deaf! I can't believe it!

Hence, he's the one of the three of us who must die. - Shut up!

Marisa, you're scaring me.

A Brancamenta bitter. - No, my son, why?

You didn't sacrifice her! You read sentences like that in novels.

A cappuccino. - Right.

What will I give to the Capuchin?

Sam...bu... sambuca, ah!

Let's hear, Umberto, go ahead. Let's hear why?

Alright, let's say that you're a bit lacking in this.

Lacking! - Lac...king.

A marriage is not just these things.

There's affection, esteem, esteem!

Este...em.

A pleasure coming from mutual understanding.

If there's the rest it's better, if not...

There's not.

What the heck are you saying?

Am I your uncle? - Yes.

If I'm not just useful for you to order a cappuccino,...

...listen what I'm going to tell you with the greatest belief.

Marisa cares a lot about you.

Su...re? - Yes, very sure.

Ma...ri...no?

Yeah, also Marino cares about you, of course.

Everyone cares about you, Umberto, everyone.

Are you sure the iron is always unplugged when he doesn't use it?

Yes.

And that he plugs in it only when he has to iron clothes?

Quick!

I wouldn't like to come back home late, or Umberto starts to worry.

Here.

It's simple, even a boy can do it.

Are you sure that it will work? - What?

Sure that it works, you just need to stick the electrical wire...

...in the reservoir of the kerosene heater,...

...and that wire must be connected to the iron.

So, when he plugs in it...

And what will happen when he plugs in it? - Nothing.

And what will happen?

It explodes and everything blows up.

Will he feel pain? - No, he won't even notice it.

The instant death is the nicest one.

I'd like to die like that.

Here, now that the train's passing, so that the bang will be muffled.

No!

It's just a try.

I'm scared!

Either we do it or we don't.

We must be courageous. - Yes, my love.

Mr Marino, what's happened?

I've heard a blow!

A blow? Which blow?

I heard nothing!

Marisa, I can't do it.

When you read this letter,...

...I'll be already on the way on the bus coming at 12:45 pm.

Leaving each other definitively is the only solution.

I've realized that our love...

...was leading us to a bad path unconsciously,...

...as you can read many times on the papers about those wicked lovers.

Set this letter on fire, the flame will burn it like my heart burns for you.

But it's better to put everything out...

Goodbye forever to you, your Marino.

Marino!

Marisa, why are you here? - Marino!

Now it's harder.

I stuck the electrical wire in the heater.

Has it blown up? - No, in a short time.

As soon as the hired man goes away, he starts to iron.

My suitcases...

Marino,...

...I'm afraid.

Mr Umberto,...

...I'm leaving now.

And don't forget that the band of The Ghosts...

...phoned to say that they would come for fitting tomorrow morning.

And don't forget to iron these ones.

Quick!

Look, if they stop me and find out the trick, I won't account for this!

Run! It's life or death!

I warn you, if we don't get there in time, it'll be your responsibility!

Mine? Can't you see there's a lot of traffic?

It will take us a hour at least, if that's enough.

Go, go, go through any red lights!

No, I won't run that red light.

When I have my license suspended, will I come and eat at your house?

My wife and me were having...

...a snack while waiting for the lunch,...

..when we heard a big blow and the wall of kitchen collapsed.

I was in such underwear and I found myself in the open.

Miss Ciceri, something terrible has happened!

The heater has blown up!

Umberto...

The ambulance has taken him away just now, that's all I know.

Miss, they had to get in through the window.

Well, but I always say that you can't trust stoves.

What a blow, oh my, what a disaster! - Is it you Miss Ciceri?

Yes, she's the wife.

Come with me.

You come too. - Me?

What's up to her?

Oh my, she's goint to faint. - C'mon!

C'mon! - Cheer up!

Umberto!

Let's go. - This way, where are you going?

Women from Avana are just like the nice fleshy flowers,...

...their blood is as scorching as Ecuador!

Flowers as voluptuous as the Bolivian coke,...

...who of us gets high, will repeat that forever! - Come in.

Is it here? - Torture me but kill me with kisses!

A strange suffering is tormenting my soul!

Creole, with a dark halo, for... Marisa!

Marino!

You can see it, I just got my voice back, my voice, my voice!...

It's a miracle by Saint Lorenzo, Lorenzo, Lorenzo, Lorenzo!....

But it's Umberto!

Marino! - Umberto!

Marino! - Umberto!

Dear Umberto! - That hurts!

Nice, it's nice to cry for pain, to be able to cry!

I got all scorched, but I don't give a damn about it!

Marisa!

Umberto!

Well, how strong his Italian is.

Umberto!

What a wonderful voice you have, Marisa, I've heard it, you know?

Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat Umberto.

Umberto! - Easy.

Umberto. - Yes!

I can hear you! How nice to hear people calling me Umberto.

Dear Umberto, dear Umberto, dear Umberto!

Blast you! You gave us all a scare!

I was scared too!

Let's not think about it anymore. - Uncle Arduino, come here.

Uncle Arduino, uncle Arduino, uncle Arduino!

Ah, the chocolate, the chocolate, the chocolate, look at the chocolate!

Easy, it's not good for him, ouch!

How big hands you have, how big hands, how big hands, how big hands you have.

Give me a little kiss. - He has such big hands!

Have you heard? They knocked on the door.

I've heard nothing. - What? I heard, are you deaf?

Who did knock on the door?

Ah, my friends deaf and dumb!

No, what are they doing?

Please, get out. You too, please.

Don't make a mess, he must not speak. - Hello! What you're missing!

C'mon, please.

Dottore, how could miracle like this happen?

Madam, the explosion has untied the traumatic knot which...

...had paralysed the nerve centers controlling hearing and voice emission.

But it'd be a bit difficult to explain the whole mechanism.

Are you happy? - You can't imagine how much.

I don't know at all if you'll be so happy, you know?

Why?

Cut it out, Umberto!

He's obsessed by an idea.

It's not an idea...it's a vow.

Which vow?

I told you we'd talk to the bishop.

A vow can be broken. - I don't want to talk to the bishop!

My poor mom took this vow to let me get my voice back.

And she only can break it. But my mom is dead.

I say that through force of circumstance...

...any vow can be broken!

Which force of circumstance! - Please, don't get upset.

Keep calm. - Calm!

I've been keeping quiet for 25 years, you know! Calm...

I didn't get anything, but, if he took a vow...

...well, it's a vow.

Which vow is?

Where is he? - Here he is.

Umberto! - Now he's Brother Lorenzo.

Right, Brother Lorenzo!

Brother Lorenzo,...

...how are you?

We're here to see you.

He can't speak.

What? Just now that he got his voice back?

They're doing their spiritual retreat.

Ah, only for today.

No, all their life long. - All their life long?

What has he said?

What's he saying?

I'm glad you're going to marry here in the chapel of the convent.

I wish you the best.

THE END Italian transcription by SiM

Translation by quidtum February 2015