Original subtitles

ADRIENNE (VOICEOVER): Previously, on "The Real

Housewives of Beverly Hills."

KYLE: How are you?

YOLANDA: Look how fancy you girls are!

I see all these girls like dressed up

in high heels and full makeup.

And I'm like, I thought were going to Ojai.

I honestly am more nervous about seeing Adrienne

than I am about seeing any of the other women.

I don't know what Adrienne's motives are.

I think she's very manipulative.

Well, She's clearly not a fan of mine.

BRANDI: I have no philtre and I do say things

that I probably shouldn't say.

ADRIENNE: Aw, somebody's crying.

Uh oh.

Shut the fuck up.

Oh my gosh.

[THEME MUSIC]

LISA (VOICEOVER): Life isn't all diamonds and rose.

But it should be.

BRANDI (VOICEOVER): Money doesn't give you class.

It just gives you money.

ADRIENNE (VOICEOVER): Know your friends.

Show your enemies the door.

TAYLOR (VOICEOVER): I fought too hard for this zip code

to go home now.

YOLANDA (VOICEOVER): I like to have fun,

but I don't play games.

KIM (VOICEOVER): Life is a journey

and I'm finding myself every day.

KYLE (VOICEOVER): I'm born and raised in Beverly Hills.

This is my town.

[THEME MUSIC]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

BRANDI: Know that I've been there.

KIM: I feel like Brandy is trying.

I feel like I'm trying.

And I feel that we both want this to go away.

BRANDI: I know I've apologised to you a few times.

I have no philtre and I do say things

that I probably shouldn't say.

KIM: That's good because that was really uncalled for.

ADRIENNE: Aw, somebody's crying.

Uh oh.

I know you did, but--

Call it out.

It's OK.

ADRIENNE: Somebody's crying.

Why are you saying that?

ADRIENNE: Because she's crying.

She feels bad.

Yeah, but you don't have to scream it.

ADRIENNE: Call it out?

What are you talking about?

BRANDI: That means shut the fuck up.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

ADRIENNE: What do you mean?

BRANDI: That means be quiet.

ADRIENNE: No.

Why are you saying that?

ADRIENNE: What are you talking about?

I felt bad for her.

BRANDI: If you really care about Kim, say Kim are you OK?

Don't sit there and cackle 100 times

to get everyone's attention to make a spectacle.

It was obnoxious.

We were just having a personal conversation.

But you want to yell about it?

I'm telling you I felt bad for her.

BRANDI: You're not telling me.

Your telling everybody.

It's OK.

(WHISPERS) I'm gonna use the ladies room.

I'll be back.

I'm gonna use the ladies.

ADRIENNE: She feels bad.

Oh my gosh.

They want to see you fail, OK?

Mhm.

They do.

A lot of these people at this table want to see you fail.

I'm just saying.

KYLE: That was uncalled for to say

shut the fuck up to Adrienne.

Come on.

I don't think that Adrienne needed to announce to the table

that Kim was crying.

But I certainly don't think that Brandy

needed to choose those words.

Shut the fuck up.

ADRIENNE: Gosh.

LISA: Brandy used the f word like bloody hell.

I don't know.

You know?

Come on.

Let's not make a big deal of it.

What?

KIM: You're going over and above defending.

LISA: No, I'm not defending.

KIM: Lisa, come on.

LISA: You know, if they think I'm defending Brandy,

well maybe that's true because we've

seen how it's gone down before.

You know what?

You have no clue what you're talking about.

You are a goddamn bitch.

Watch your mouth.

Maybe Brandi does need somebody in her corner.

For her to say shut the fuck up

when she thinks she's crying-

I can't believe she said that.

--is inappropriate.

And for you to say anything other than that is wrong.

LISA: OK. All right.

KYLE: Am I not wrong?

Yeah, you're right. It was inappropriate.

No, don't just say that to shut me up.

Tell the truth. CAMILLE: It was inappropriate.

Tell the truth.

That's what I said.

It was inappropriate.

I've said that.

But she was defending your sister.

She said it's inappropriate.

I said yes, it's inappropriate.

She said, yes it's inappropriate.

Yes, Kyle.

I get it.

It's inappropriate.

Brandi's language.

Not mine.

Brandi felt that Adrienne was drawing attention to Lisa.

No, no, Lisa.

Do you want me to be honest?

You always say, let me be honest.

I'm going to be honest.

That looks ridiculous for you to say that.

That's how she felt. That's how she felt.

ADRIENNE: That's not how she felt.

KYLE: OK.

She felt--

LISA: I'm not fighting anybody's battles for.

Ask her.

ADRIENNE: Who talks to another woman that way?

That's what I don't know.

I don't know anybody that does that.

It's inappropriate.

Bottom line, I don't care what her explanation could be.

LISA: I said that.

It's rude.

Who talks to another woman in that way?

There's something seriously wrong with her.

That was so rude.

Extremely rude.

BRANDI: I don't want you to, honestly I don't want you--

I've been in the same place that you've been in.

And I apolo-- I am so sorry for what I said to you.

And how it all went down.

That whole thing, I just didn't even know you.

I am really happy that Kim is being receptive to me

because you know it's a question mark.

A lot had gone down.

All right.

At least I don't do crystal Meth in the bathroom all night long.

Bitch.

KYLE: Say--

Do not put your fucking finger in my face.

Oh you're gonna get my fucking finger in your face, too.

Listen, listen. No no no.

No, no.

Stop it.

You know, you don't know what's going to happen.

But it's going well.

KIM: (CRYING) That's what I didn't understand.

But, [STUTTERING] you guys weren't--

You didn't even know me.

BRANDI: I know.

You weren't yourself, at that time.

KIM: I know.

But what you said was so wrong.

I never even knew what that was.

I've never done anything like that.

It was just so mean.

I don't know where or why you said that.

BRANDI: I was on the defensive.

[CRYING]

Oh my god.

I felt bad for her.

No, I know.

But she was defending Kim because she was--

Yeah, but you don't talk that way.

OK. Come on.

That's ridiculous.

You would normally never say that.

Lisa would never say something like that,

which I know she never would.

Why is it OK that Brandi did?

What's happening?

ADRIENNE: It's very inappropriate.

What is happening?

ADRIENNE: Very inappropriate.

If someone had said to Lisa, shut the fuck up.

[INAUDIBLE]

No.

ADRIENNE: We'd be hearing about it, not for two years,

not for three years, probably a lifetime.

I just felt bad for her.

I really, I'm going to say this.

I want to be open.

And I have been very nice to Brandi.

But my god, to sit there and say shut the fuck up Adrienne.

I'm not OK with that.

ADRIENNE: I'm not either.

It's inappropriate.

I agree with you.

It was.

We're having a nice calm evening.

LISA: You saying, shut up the fuck up

Well, she was fucking annoying.

No.

No, but you saying that is--

But you need to point something out when

someone is crying at the table. - No, I understand that.

But, ugh.

Are you OK?

Yeah.

And so you were emotional?

And then Adrienne said, oh, somebody's crying.

But we were having, it wasn't a--

Yeah, yeah.

I know but shut the fuck up.

Yeah but she kept saying it over and over

and over and over again.

You don't need to do that.

Like you, like I just hate when people draw attention to--

I'm sorry.

- I know, but-- - We were just having a moment.

Trust me.

You need to apologise to her.

No.

I love and respect Lisa.

But I don't feel like I owe Adrienne an apology.

I think that she was wrong in the way she handled it.

And I'm not sorry.

Darling, trust me.

Just say, say that.

Just say, I'm really sorry.

I shouldn't have used that word.

Say that.

I'm not sorry.

Well fake it.

I'm sure you've done that before.

[LAUGHTER]

I have no problem telling Brandi,

like a mother, that this was clearly inappropriate.

That's what Brandi needs to learn.

OK, now you need to apologise.

BRANDI: No, I do not. LISA: You need to say something.

BRANDI: Nope. LISA: Yes, you do.

I'm sorry I said the F word.

Apology accepted.

Guess what?

I'm sorry I said the F word in the restaurant.

But I'm not sorry for telling Adrienne to shut up.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey, boo boo.

I love you.

Bye.

Ha ha ha.

Bye.

My gay book agent.

I got a book deal today, which I don't

know if anyone cares about. But I'm really proud about.

CAMILLE: Congratulations. BRANDI: Thank you.

That's great.

[CLAPPING]

Ha ha ha.

ADRIENNE: What's it about?

BRANDI: Divorce.

Mm.

BRANDI: Yeah, it's a good time.

Um, congratulations?

ADRIENNE: Breathe.

Meditate.

Through the nose.

Out through the mouth.

LISA: What?

KIM: I love to meditate.

BRANDI: Why are you meditating?

TAYLOR: I don't know.

We just are.

[CLEARS THROAT]

LISA: Did I miss something?

BRANDI: Me too.

It happens.

What?

It's hard for, I guess, women to be happy for other women.

I guess, it's weird.

You have to meditate instead of just being happy for them.

TAYLOR: I agree.

I agree.

BRANDI: But you're like (BREATHES HEAVILY).

Just say congratulations.

KYLE: No offence Brandy, but you were the first one

to attack her for doing a book.

BRANDI: Uh, it's been like a hot minute.

Three women die every single day from domestic violence.

[INAUDIBLE] TAYLOR: No it's not.

It's not either.

It's about women that are dying every single--

This is none of your business. OK?

You've made it the world's business.

TAYLOR: You're way out of your place.

I'm just saying, you expect, don't

expect her to be happy for you if you weren't happy for her.

But you're going to meditate.

Like OK, meditate.

I'm just--

LISA: OK.

Let's, it was a joke.

TAYLOR: You know, OK.

It's just interesting to me that you

went and got a book deal to write about your ex-husband

leaving you.

I think that's fascinating.

Brandi's husband cheated on her with LeAnn Rimes, left

Brandi, married LeAnn Rimes.

Is that a whole book?

The point is, is it's silly to say

women should be happy for each other

when you made that comment.

And we should move forward.

Everyone should be happy for each other.

Yeah, we move forward.

YOLANDA: It was very interesting, girls.

A lot of old stuff going on at this table.

ADRIENNE: Welcome.

YOLANDA: It's like, letting it go girls.

Life is going to be really miserable if you can't

move on from those things.

Yolanda, darling.

Nobody's listening to you.

Let's just have a great weekend.

Happy for each other.

Right?

That's exactly right.

Cheers.

It's just, three years later.

So it's a different situation. TAYLOR: Really?

Is it different?

Let me explain something to you very quickly here.

OK? So listen up.

Ooh! OK.

Ha ha ha.

TAYLOR: Let me be very clear with you.

I was left with $700,000 in debt.

And at $1.5 million lawsuit.

I had a one book deal.

BRANDI: You started it.

TAYLOR: It is a lie.

I would never, ever, ever attack you first.

ADRIENNE: Shh! KIM: Please.

Or I'm going to leave. I'm leaving.

I'm too embarrassed.

Please.

LISA: I think Brandi needs this for financial gain.

And Taylor's in a financial mess, as well.

What they're doing right now is just trying to survive.

YOLANDA: Why are you discussing like this?

Don't you guys can just discuss like normal women?

And talk normal?

Where are these women from?

What planet are they from?

I mean, one doesn't seem to wish the other one well

on a book deal.

One tells the other one shut the fuck up.

I mean, it's like the wild wild west on that dinner table.

You know?

I was just saying I got a book deal.

So I'm excited.

BRANDI: Well, that was bloody good news.

OK.

So let's all cheers to that.

For gods sake.

I'm happy for you.

BRANDI: Thank you

LISA: OK.

Good.

Yeah,

ADRIENNE: Can I say I got a book deal, too?

I just haven't said anything but I got a book deal, too.

BRANDI: Adrienne, isn't super smart.

I don't know.

Is that a children's book?

Like she can't possibly put that much together.

YOLANDA: Is anybody going to have dessert, girls?

Or are we, uh?

TAYLOR: Coming up.

No.

Go away!

Oh, let her win.

Ah!

Hello, this is dangerous.

I'm scared.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, good morning girls.

How are you?

Just coming to wake up [INAUDIBLE]

YOLANDA: My ring has almost the same setting.

KIM: Yeah.

YOLANDA: That's good.

CAMILLE: I'm without.

No more for me.

Keep them in the safe.

KYLE: But you still have them?

Yes, I do.

I have them.

YOLANDA: Jewelery is overrated, honey.

Totally overrated.

So don't worry about it.

CAMILLE: As long as you're happy.

YOLANDA: Exactly.

I don't wear my jewellery anymore

either that Kelsey gave me because I've

moved on with my life.

And I'm very happy with Dimitri.

BRANDI: Do you think you will marry him?

Marry Dimitri?

LISA: Yeah.

Well, not yet.

We're just, you know.

LISA: Have you talked about it?

We've talked about it.

We're just exploring each other and getting to know each other.

Unlike somebody else.

You've been exploring each other for like six months.

You must have seen every nook and cranny.

By now.

YOLANDA: Six months, that's not that long.

No.

Take your time, girl.

CAMILLE: I need to take my time.

I was in a marriage for 13 years.

I need time.

KYLE: Adrienne?

YOLANDA: Let's go.

Wow, beautiful day.

KYLE: Oh my gosh. It's gorgeous.

ADRIENNE: Oh, it's beautiful. YOLANDA: Isn't it gorgeous?

ADRIENNE: Oh my gosh.

CAMILLE: Perfect day for a hike.

I really didn't appreciate the way Brandi handled last night.

It was Kim's trip.

But I just want to move forward.

CAMILLE: Wait who are we missing?

KYLE: Kim, Taylor, Brandi, Lisa.

ADRIENNE: OK.

LISA: I feel like going back to bed.

BRANDI: I know.

We woke up to quickly.

By the way, you snore.

BRANDI: You do, too.

LISA: Oh, please.

I called it first.

It was like a little piggy in bed last night.

BRANDI: A Piggy?

BRANDI: What I'm just saying to you, honestly,

is if you just said to her butt out.

But when you're saying--

BRANDI: To who? - To Adrienne.

BRANDI: Oh right.

Or whoever else you said it to.

But I'm saying, when you say shut the fuck up.

BRANDI: Well, listen. - No, no.

Wait, wait.

I'm just saying.

It's very hard for me to defend you because--

You don't have to.

LISA: No, but that gives them ammunition.

If you turn around, you just said, OK.

Butt out.

Or, you know what Adrienne?

Mind your own business.

That's OK.

But when you're saying, shut the fuck up across the table.

For her to say, shut the fuck up, that to these women

is a gift she's just given them.

That has proved everything they have been saying

about her not fitting in.

You're right.

I shouldn't have said the F word.

But I was having a really amazing conversation with Kim.

We were like having a moment.

We were crying.

She was crying out of happiness.

It was not her business.

I get that.

And, no problem with that.

But I'm saying you've got enough problems with these women

anyway.

Why don't just turn around and say, you know what?

Butt out.

But when you're saying shut the fuck up, it's inflammatory.

It just--

Well, I did say sorry for saying F word.

But I still think--

LISA: Only after I told you off.

BRANDI: She shouldn't, she should stay out of it.

It had nothing to do with her.

LISA: I think there's a lot of hidden

resentment still going on.

Her own power, trying to intimidate me

into going on Twitter and putting

things, trying to put words in my mouth

that I would never say.

LISA: Darling, nobody puts anything into your mouth.

Do you know that?

Oh, that's not true.

Hopefully, one day.

With a bit of luck.

Paul and Adrienne called me and they

were devastated by people kind of attacking

them for going after Lisa.

And they were getting a lot of Twitter threats.

And they wanted me to go on Twitter

and say what I said wasn't true.

Guess what?

I'm not your puppet, bitch.

I'm not.

I did apologise to Adrienne.

LISA: Trust me.

Trust me, I know what winds them up.

And I think you'd have made the same point

if you'd said it differently.

BRANDI: You're right.

But I haven a temper. LISA: Say it again.

Say it again. - You're right.

LISA: Say it again.

You're right.

LISA: I love that.

It's you.

You're taking me down Glanville.

All right.

Now, we're going for a picnic.

BRANDI: OK.

Let's go.

They have the Bentley.

OK I'm not going with you.

Get away.

Lisa sees the golf cart.

She's like, oh well, the Bentley's mine.

KYLE: Lisa, you drive a Bentley every day in LA.

I want a seat belt, because with you driving I'm not.

ADRIENNE: Aren't you happy?

Indirectly.

ADRIENNE: I know.

LISA: Come on, Foster.

Put your foot down.

KYLE: OK, Yolanda.

LISA: Foster, come on.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, this is exciting.

Wow.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

LISA: Move it.

ADRIENNE:

Go.

YOLANDA: So funny.

KYLE: Do you like my badminton shoes?

YOLANDA: They're so badminton.

[LAUGHTER]

LISA: What is it like senior citizens in there?

Put your foot down.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

ADRIENNE: Come on.

LISA: Move it.

Just go on the hill and go around them.

ADRIENNE: We dare you.

Go.

Go, Lisa.

Go.

[SCREAMS]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

I'm going to kick your ass.

Bentley or not.

LISA: Well, I'm having a bit of fun with Yolanda

and she's suddenly getting all competitive.

KYLE: Please, please, please.

YOLANDA: You are not passing me.

We will win.

Go.

Go Go.

KYLE: No, these do tip over.

Lisa is trying to zip past Yolanda.

Yolanda is like, no you don't.

[SCREAMS]

Hello, this is dangerous.

Oh, let her win.

Let her win.

Please, I'm scared.

I'm scared. I'm scared.

I need to get out.

TAYLOR: Kyle has this side of her

that's afraid of everything.

YOLANDA: Look at her she's taking--

KYLE: How about look at the road, instead.

[SCREAMS]

TAYLOR: Clearly, I'm the better driver.

Because I look behind me and I see Driving Miss

Daisy and she's way far away.

Lisa, oh my god.

LISA: It's surprising that after World

War III kicked off last night, we're

all back on the same page.

It's quite hard to keep up with.

If you're a sane person, this group moves very quickly.

ADRIENNE: Like I said.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KYLE: Here we go.

YOLANDA: Lisa, we need you.

KYLE: Lisa--

YOLANDA: Because you know how to play.

Come on.

We need a couple of girls that know.

LISA: OK, here we go.

ADRIENNE: How far back are you?

Oh.

OK.

Go girl.

CAMILLE: How do you start it?

Or do we serve like?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, sorry.

Oh.

[LAUGHTER]

Yes.

Ooh.

Wow.

Oh.

The entire group sucks.

Jesus.

We could potentially be the worst badminton

players on the planet.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

YOLANDA: This is a very sad story, girls.

YOLANDA: I think these girls are real Beverly Hills Girls.

I don't think sport is number one on their list.

You're supposed to hit a ball.

You're supposed to run girls.

Lisa.

YOLANDA: Jesus.

KYLE: Are you trying to be funny with those shoes, Lisa?

She looked like a beekeeper.

Those shoes.

That's horrendous.

[LAUGHTER]

Here we go.

ADRIENNE: Move Vanderpump, move.

Yeah, nice.

[CHEERING]

Finally!

We won.

This is a trip for us to go on where we can have a good time,

heal, have fun.

So please, no fighting.

YOLANDA: We won.

We definitely won, girl.

KYLE: Coming up.

Wow!

Oh.

What the fuck?

BRANDI: I feel like it's almost like a church.

Let's get married, again.

[LAUGHTER]

KYLE: Lisa, hold that open for me.

KIM: Woops, just joking.

All right.

So ladies, just have a seat at the loungers.

As you can see, we do have the steam,

you can do sauna, cold plunge, Jacuzzi.

Showers are over on this side.

Make yourself at home.

And your therapist will be up to greet

you and take you to your Kooyong room momentarily.

All right.

Enjoy.

Enjoy your [INAUDIBLE]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Cheers.

Thank you.

KIM: May his next activity bring you

one step closer to each other.

[LAUGHTER]

KIM: You can't get any closer than taking off

all your clothes together and reaching up.

This is a very spiritual moment, girls.

You're reaching up.

Putting on the clay from God.

I think this is really good.

Amen.

I kind of feel like Kim has gone from one degree of wacky

to another degree of wacky.

Like she's just done like this weird transformation

into like spiritual Kim, which is kind of freaking me out.

LISA: Oh, come on.

KYLE: Stop.

I will rip that towel right off you.

Ladies, you'll need your robes with you

as well as your slippers and your wraps.

[LAUGHTER]

Wait, I owe you one.

Ah!

LISA: It's actually quite nice to see

all the women after the you know, shut the fuck up gate.

We've actually moved on.

And now here we are all naked together nice and cosy.

So the Kooyong is a [INAUDIBLE] tradition.

It means a place to rest together.

There are several parts to your treatment.

The first is at the tip of your abalone shell.

It has been infused with lavender and lemongrass.

It's detoxifying but it's also hydrating.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ADRIENNE: Being naked in front of the other women

with a bunch of mud all over you is not really my idea relaxing.

YOLANDA: I find this a very lesbian looking thing.

[LAUGHTER]

YOLANDA: I like three girls rubbing each other.

I mean.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

ADRIENNE: Let's use our indoor voices.

[LAUGHTER]

Kim starts to really get into and she's moaning.

She's like uh, ah.

I was like.

Do you like it?

Yeah.

Taylor and I are looking at each other,

going what the fuck?

I like it.

This is the most fun Kim's had in a while.

It's good right?

YOLANDA: Can you stop showing us your Lisa nipple Vanderpump.

YOLANDA: Lisa, Lisa, you've got you've got something.

LISA: Oh, Yolanda.

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHTER]

I'm leaving, too now.

We were like monkeys in a cage.

We were like, ah ah!

I like that about Yolanda.

OK, she's up for fun.

Guys, I have an idea.

What if nobody talks for one minute.

Oh my god.

Imagine that.

OK, let's go.

One two go.

OK. LISA: OK.

When Is it stopping?

Now?

OK.

One, two, go.

[LAUGHTER]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

She ruined my lashes.

Ow!

Wait.

[SCREAMING]

After last night, it's really nice

to see that we're all able to put it aside and have some fun

today.

Get them back.

Now we can relax.

Paybacks a bitch.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHOPPING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

TAYLOR: A baseball bat and beat someone with it.

[LAUGHTER]

TAYLOR: I know you.

No, I do the lightest I possibly can.

Good evening, ladies I just wanted to take the opportunity

to introduce myself.

My name's Chad Minton.

I'm the executive chef here at the beautiful Ojai

Valley and Spa.

We're absolutely delighted to have you all

here Casa de Lar, this evening.

We have some food this evening that's very indicative of what

we do here in Ojai.

Very much farm to table.

Simple yet sophisticated.

So with that being said, please eat.

Yes, let's go eat.

Thank you.

Wow.

This is our free range [INAUDIBLE]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

It's not going anywhere.

They don't have legs.

It's not going to run [INAUDIBLE]

That's the truffle macaroni and cheese, roasted baby beets,

raw beats, beat variations.

Ojai pixies, which are unique to Ojai.

OK, so you'll carry these for us?

Be my pleasure.

Thank you.

Of course.

Chef?

Come.

BRANDI: Who wants to say grace?

I'm just praying that Adrienne and Taylor just

shut the fuck up.

In honour of the last night that you're staying at the Ojai

Valley Inn and Spa, I would offer the bottle of the 1996

Nicholas [INAUDIBLE].

And as a side note, since all of you

are still very fashion conscious and beautiful,

this bottle was actually designed by Gaultier.

No wonder you like it.

Of course.

OK.

YOLANDA: No, I'm not drinking for three months.

LISA: So, you're not drinking. BRANDI: Three now?

It was two earlier.

No, I'm already one down.

Two more to go.

KYLE: She added a month on.

When I gave birth to my son, I broke my back.

And I always have back pain.

And there's this holistic treatment in Europe

that consist of injections.

But you can't drink.

What they do is they take fresh cells from the unborn foetus

of the baby lamb and they injected into the human body

because it's closest to our own cells.

Nothing in Beverly Hills surprises me.

If you can inject it in your body, they'll do it.

BRANDI: Did anyone else have complicated birth?

No?

Nothing.

Did you C sections?

Or?

You said you did vaginal, you did vaginal,

did you do vaginal?

C.

Oh, both times.

He was only four and a half pounds at 38 weeks.

And you can deliver at 38 weeks.

The lungs are developed.

Small for gestational age.

What about the twins?

You didn't have a c-section with the twins?

I had a c-section with them, too.

CAMILLE: It's pretty odd to have that conversation at dinner.

Ooh, how did you give birth?

I'm sorry.

I didn't.

I didn't have that experience.

I didn't carry my children.

I used a surrogate so, it's hard to talk about that.

Because I can't relate to anybody carrying a child.

The weird thing is, you just schedule because I wanted

Paul there, being a surgeon.

But I went into labour the night before, the night

before I was supposed to go in.

It was almost to a T.

And did you let Paul in the room?

Was he going crazy the whole time?

BRANDI: In the room, but up at the shoulders, not down there.

But with Paul, you know how Paul is like, listen.

You need to do it this way.

And he did.

BRANDI: What are we doing tonight?

Better.

Come on, Kitty Cat.

I remember.

Cheers.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BRANDI: She won't do anything.

She won't do anything.

Trust me.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

LISA: No, so true.

KIM: Are you OK?

YOLANDA: I'm tired.

LISA: Did you say, what?

YOLANDA: I just want to go to bed and sleep.

But you guys can go on.

LISA: No.

TAYLOR: [INAUDIBLE]

[LAUGHTER]

I know I look like a Hooters waitress, but I'm not.

LISA: Ha ha ha.

What is that?

It's a little tiny bit of Patron.

Cheers, kitty cat.

Oh.

BRANDI: Yolanda is like, I think I'm going to bed.

But I get it, we're getting loud, obnoxious, not

making sense, not being ladies.

And I don't blame her for going to bed.

I mean, she's the sober one in the room.

And it's not fun to be sober.

Ha ha ha.

Cheers. Goodnight.

Bye.

Goodnight, darling.

See you.

Good night. OK.

See you.

Bye.

That's not what I want to do in my time off.

I want to get up early tomorrow morning.

I want to go for a run, exercise.

And you know, have an Ojai day.

I'm going to go with you, Yolanda.

Thank you all for coming and having a great weekend with me.

LISA: Darling, are you going? - Love you all.

You guys have fun.

I'm going to go night night.

You rest.

Yeah, I'm going to go rest.

And this is where I cut out.

If I could stay and have fun with the party, I would.

But uh oh.

Kim's got to go.

Love you.

Good night.

I don't love you but I like you.

I don't love you either. I don't like you, either.

I mean, I don't love you.

Oh!

[INAUDIBLE]

- I do like you. - No, no.

I do like you.

I get that.

- Awkward. - All right.

[LAUGHTER]

OK.

Woah.

OK.

KYLE: Coming up.

Ah!

Bitch.

KYLE: Well, that's scaring me now.

LISA: Guys, stop it.

Stop. KYLE: Stop.

Stop.

Of course.

Please.

TAYLOR: I know.

Of course I would, Adrienne.

BRANDI: I don't know what room I'm going to.

TAYLOR: We're going up.

Oh this [INAUDIBLE] part of the house.

So Yolanda and Kim go to bed.

I wish I had had the wherewithal to join them, for God's sake.

But I go with the girls.

This is lovely.

Hold on, guys.

[SNORE]

Ah!

KYLE: This butt is so small, it's like.

Hit it again.

TAYLOR: But she's thinner than I've ever been.

And no one ever calls her anorexic.

Stop, that's not true.

I'm actually not.

You're way smaller than me.

Ha ha ha.

You wanna arm wrestle?

Holy shit.

Sweetheart.

Let's do it.

Arm wrestle.

If she wants to arm wrestle me, bring it on.

KYLE: OK.

One, two, three.

Oh my god.

Taylor.

[LAUGHTER]

Bitch.

Airplane.

KYLE: Hey, hey.

[LAUGHTER]

KYLE: Oh, that's scaring me now.

LISA: Stop it.

Stop. KYLE: Stop.

Stop. Stop.

Say give.

BRANDI: I give. I give.

LISA: Stop it. Stop.

OK.

Perfect.

Brandi was winning.

Yeah.

You actually beat me.

I have no clue what is going on with these girls.

Are you in?

You want to arm wrestle?

You should arm wrestle her.

You're like, you're like, you're the guy.

I think there's more to this arm wrestle than meets the eye.

I think Brandi wants to really, really

grind her into the ground here.

Oh.

1, 2, 3.

Ow.

Adrienne's wrist.

[LAUGHTER]

I'll bring you down.

I said OK.

Let's arm wrestle.

Oh I grew up with all brothers, it seemed natural.

[LAUGHTER]

You can't bend wrists.

It's like--

I'm doing it the way you're supposed to do it.

I don't think Adrienne understands

the concept of a lot of things.

But she knew what she was doing when she went,

she's like, that's how you cheat.

That's how you cheat.

So maybe that's her motto.

Women don't do this.

They're actually happening.

[SCREAMS]

All I do is win win win.

Woo woo woo woo.

[LAUGHTER]

[SCREAMS]

We've all had way too much to drink

and the next thing you know we're back in high school.

[LAUGHTER]

Do you have underwear on?

TAYLOR: She needs fresh underwear.

Are they really fresh?

They're fresh.

I smelled them.

[LAUGHTER]

Come on, Kyle

Go!

[LAUGHTER]

It was fun.

Like, we let our hair down.

We let loose.

It was fun.

I mean, if anyone were to say that it was anything worse

than that, they're stupid.

[CHEERING]

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHTER]

You go.

I'll pin her down.

Go.

Woo!

Yeah.

That was so good.

Armstrong on the balance beam.

[LAUGHTER]

Woo!

My head fell on the ground.

I was surprised to see Adrienne took her weave

out and did some work.

[LAUGHTER]

Yolanda missed all the fun.

[KNOCKING] Yolanda, [KNOCKING] hello.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Come on, get your little Dutch ass up here.

Ha ha ha.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm thinking Yolanda is going to come

up and give us all a spanking.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You guys were having so much fun last night, huh?

Actually it was really good for all of us, I think.

This is actually a really good time.

I think those of us that were close got closer.

And those of us that weren't.

Nah.

Kim and I, when we spend a weekend like we have an Ojai,

and we don't end up fighting, that's a good thing.

KIM: All of us had fun.

Was it good for Kyle and I as sisters to reconnect?

I don't think so.

Hi, honey.

Morning.

How are you?

That was so fun.

Wasn't it?

Look at how cute you are.

I got my little hotel slippers.

Did you hear a thumping and a lot of noise last night?

Oh my gosh,

I was feeling so bad for you.

I was even saying, Yolanda.

I'm sorry.

It sounded pretty crazy. But you know--

It was crazy.

--once the alcohol start taking effect.

Oh my god.

We were like--

[WHISTLE]

- I'm done. - See ya.

I know.

You know, not--

I don't want to spend my nights like that.

I want to sleep and rest up.

And go home and be back with my kids.

It was very funny.

Then Adrienne was like, I can do backflips.

And then Adrienne started.

Oh my gosh.

How cute?

And then of course, we had to start.

Lisa and I go, wait I can do a handstand.

That's funny.

We were Like a bunch of--

Little kids.

--ten year olds.

Yeah.

No, I exercised this morning.

I was up at 6.

Worked out in the room.

Yolanda's making me feel guilty that I

didn't get up and work out.

I mean, I'm on vacation.

You know, to me, I don't think there's anything

worse than drunk women.

Honestly.

It's like I don't mind people having a drink.

But there's nothing more unclassy of women that,

you know, that are out of control of their behaviour.

She may want to find a new crowd of friends.

Anyway.

Everything good?

LISA: Everything's, OK.

It's like, I don't feel like I've been on vacation.

[LAUGHTER]

Like, I've been--

KYLE: Oh, shagged through a hedge backwards.

Yeah.

Camille?

Is this yours or mine?

I can't remember.

Because I know we have one, is this mine or yours?

That's yours.

Last night was so, Yolanda heard everything.

Can you believe?

Her room is beneath ours.

She's like, what was all that racket?

Yeah, it did get a little kooky last night.

Hi.

How are you?

Good, how about you?

Hello.

Hi, how are you?

Hi.

Yeah, I bet you are in that jacket.

Hi.

Wow, my--

Did you get a blue bag?

KIM: My jewellery bag weighs a tonne.

Just joking.

KYLE: That was so much fun everybody.

ADRIENNE: Yeah.

KYLE: Wasn't it fun?

CAMILLE: I am so proud of Kim.

She put this magnificent trip together for us

to celebrate her sobriety.

And I hope she can keep it going.

Ha ha.

TAYLOR: Coming up.

KYLE: I'm sorry I went, jumped down your throat.

ADRIENNE: No, no, no, no, no.

BRANDI: I'm calling bush on it and they won't.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KYLE: I love an English accent.

Everybody does.

No, they don't.

Yes, they do.

Oh, stop it.

LISA: Kyle seems to think that she can

impersonate me all the time.

Which she can, I don't take offence.

But if I do one little thing, impersonate anybody

in this group, it turns into a big deal.

Let me hear it.

OK, that's it.

I'm done.

I've lost my accent.

I'm not going to speak with an English accent anymore.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh god.

I'd like to just hear you say, I'm so glad we're home.

OK.

I'm so glad we're home.

home

[LAUGHTER]

That's her imitation of you.

Right.

KIM: I'm so glad we're home.

I'm so glad we're home.

Right? KIM: Yeah

What else do you want me to say?

KIM: I'd like you all to have a really good day.

I really want to have a really good day.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No, I didn't say that.

KYLE: Not to bring up a touchy subject.

- No. - But when she said--

I think it's so inappropriate.

When you said, shut the fuck up to Adrienne.

ADRIENNE: Somebody crying.

Uh oh.

Call it out.

ADRIENNE: Call it out?

What are you talking about?

BRANDI: That means, shut the fuck up.

I, I'm sorry I went to jump down your throat.

However I was like, there was a nice way to it.

And then you were like, you know,

I didn't. I said it's inappropriate.

OK. OK.

And I kicked your little butt.

I did apologise for saying F.

Really Kyle, you have to bring this up again now,

when we're all getting along.

All I meant was like, there's a way to say it.

You know?

I don't want to argue.

We all have very feisty personalities.

ADRIENNE: No, no, no, no.

My intentions weren't to draw attention to her.

My intentions were to--

We were having a lovely conversation.

--wonder how she was.

I don't think it was on anybody's part.

No. CAMILLE:

Yeah, so.

Like, she said it three or four times.

And that's when I--

No no no.

Yeah, you did.

I just said it twice.

I think.

And whether I said it three or four times,

it wasn't done intentionally to--

BRANDI: It was to let everyone at the table know that there

was something happening.

No, I thought something was wrong.

What's wrong with that?

No, no.

But you didn't need to let the whole table know.

I just felt like.

Well, we always know everything.

I'm calling bullshit on it.

And they won't.

These girls like, if you don't say it to their face,

they're going to like pretend it didn't happen.

Those weren't my intentions.

So that's what it seems like to me.

OK.

But I'm telling you now, those weren't my intentions.

And my intentions were to see how she's feeling.

Period.

I don't think that way.

BRANDI: It was unnecessary to have the whole table

think that I was attacking Kim.

And something was happening.

No, it wasn't about you attacking Kim.

I didn't even know that you two were talking.

I just heard that she was crying.

I was just wondering what the problem was.

OK.

So we uh,

God, let's not make a mountain out of a mole hill.

God.

I personally feel the Brandi is just looking for a fight.

And looking for something to argue with me about.

I have no idea why.

You know when there's a lot of bottled up emotions

and somebody says something.

It triggers it and you go hey.

And I think it's a conversation that her

and I need to have without--

All I know is, you know, you guys were friends.

I didn't, I could tell there was something there.

But I don't know what.

It's not a group conversation kind of thing.

KYLE: Got it.

I do feel like if Adrienne and I don't nip this in the bud

right now, it's going to get ugly.

That's life.

No, of course it is.

We all have different feelings.

Let's sit and have a conversation

and make it go away.

I would do that in a heartbeat.

I don't think she will.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KIM: Next time on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Have you had days where you thought, I might relapse.

I have people that make me feel frustrated and emotional.

BRANDI: Like Kyle, right?

Is this person at the table?

LISA: Whenever you see somebody you love going off

into surgery, there's a worry because I

couldn't live without him.

Hey, darling.

Feel OK?

Darling?

Oh, the secret man is out and about.

PAUL: We just heard comments that that bitch made.

So I want to get out of here.

You are a bitch.

What Brandi is saying is character assassination.

Fuck you.

PAUL: You're a piece of shit.

KYLE (VOICEOVER): To learn more about The Housewives,

go to BravoTV.com.