Original subtitles

Good morning, papa!

Buon-giorno!

Terry!

Enough studying.

Take a break and go to school.

What a kid.

She loves those books.

So, papa...

You big cutie.

What do you want for breakfast?

Breakfast, let’s see.

I’m going to have some peppers and eggs and a little zaseech on

The side.

You are, huh?

Sure.

Hey, you read this?

They caught three kids doing graffiti all over city hall.

Oh, no.

What gets me is, why would kids who can’t spell paint words

All over in public?

Kids are different today, pop.

No, no, no, no, no.

Kids are still kids.

What’s different is parents.

Parents are not parents anymore.

That’s the difference.

Would you please give us a break?

I don’t know how I do it.

I know with phil gone, running this deli and all.

Hey, you know why you do it?

Because I brought you up right.

You work hard, Grace.

You know, I remember when I was 16 years old, I was playing

Second tenor with Charlie barnet.

Seven nights a week on the road.

Hey. Hey, what’s this?

I ordered peppers and eggs and a little zaseech, come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Dr. Colbert ordered dry toast and

Egg whites.

What does he know?

He knows cholesterol and salt.

Did you take your pills?

I took the pills.

Good. What?

You know, you really look beautiful this morning.

And you are still getting egg whites and dry toast.

No, no, no.

Hey, ma, you got any steak?

No, but we got sausage.

Terry, what are you wearing?

Clothes.

I need steak, ma.

Venus flytraps only eat pure protein.

Processed foods would kill them.

You know, those plants eat better than me.

Everybody eats better than me.

I gotta give them steak because if I win that science

Award, I get $500.

$500 cash?

Yeah.

Why don’t you use me as your science project?

We’ll split the dough.

I can’t because I have to buy a computer.

I already have $263 in the bank.

300 more and i’m online cruising the internet at 33 megahertz per

Second.

Mmm, that smells good.

What’s a megahertz?

You’re asking me?

Hi, George.

Got my flowers?

Uh-huh.

Thanks, George.

I can’t show the Smith house.

I’ve got the hensons' condo.

Well, you’re right.

Reschedule the condo.

The house is a much bigger commission.

Stavros, maybe that one.

Oh, I can’t.

I’ve got the larchmont ladies 00.

I thought we were going to the shoe sale today.

I can’t today, Karen, honey.

Tomorrow.

But the pumps I want for the prom will be gone.

Morning.

David can take you right after school.

No, I can’t, mom.

I have basketball.

Thanks a lot.

You know, i’m just graduating ninth grade, a

Once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Maybe not.

With your grades, they’ll probably let you try it a few

Times.

Doug, this baby does 180 on the autobahn.

Sure, you can test-drive it this afternoon if you want, no

Problem, just call one of my salesmen.

Morning, kids.

Hi, daddy.

Instant science project?

Just add water.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Kids, mom’s on the phone.

Ida.

Ida who?

Ida know.

Knock, knock.

Edna, put some protein powder in the blender for tiffy.

Yuck.

Bye, tiffy.

Bye, daddy.

Wait, stavros.

Bye, mom.

Bye, honey.

See you, mom.

Honey, Karen, what is that?

Project for science, bye.

Uh... okay, Carl.

Yes, of course I can read it.

Just-- uh, just fax it to me.

My lilies!

Carl, i’ll have to call you back.

Karen!

My mom says the larchmont’s ladies league

Is donating food for the prom...

From mama luna’s.

Deli girl’s store?

Well, I guess if Terry can’t go to the prom, her mom’s salami

Can.

You are so bad.

That’s not your science project, is it?

Yeah.

Flowers from the backyard?

I’ll say I fed them on peanut butter or something.

Good luck.

Hey, check out deli girl.

What did she do?

Build a space station?

What it is, it’s a helmet that goes off your inner

Thoughts with such--

You okay, louis?

I’m okay.

He’s dead.

Terry, what kind of plants are those?

Dionaea muscipula.

That’s venus flytraps.

They’re cute.

They’re carnivorous.

That’s a meat-eater.

I know that.

Listen, Terry, I was thinking maybe we could partner up on our

Projects.

You’ve got to be kidding.

Come on, Terry.

Your plants have babies.

You can spare one at least.

Forget it.

Are you going to the prom?

What does prom have to do with anything?

Well, maybe Chad could set you up with a guy on the track

Team.

A jock?

I don’t think Terry's that desperate.

I don’t believe in proms.

Well, that’s because you can’t get a date.

Just help me out, Terry.

Why should I?

It’s not my fault you're flunking science.

You don’t even pay attention in class.

Nice project.

Terry’s gonna win the science award and then buy a computer.

We’ll see about that.

Help her with her science project.

That Karen ridgeway has been trying to weasel homework out of

Me ever since the fourth grade.

What do you expect?

She’s a cheerleader.

Yeah, never thought about that.

I guess all that jumping in public rattles the brain.

I am so sick of that loser Terry venessi.

I know.

Who does she think she is, anyway, Albert eisenstein?

Really.

Blair?

Can I speak with you a moment?

Great.

Hi, gang.

Hi, Chad.

Hold this, will you?

So, like the new cheerleading uniforms?

They’re cute.

Hi, Chad.

Hi, Nicole.

I just planted the infant flytraps, but for the past six

Weeks, i’ve been feeding the adult flytraps raw meat.

You know, insects, steak, nothing artificial.

I expose them to about four hours of sunlight a day, and the

Spray’s on a timer using only purified water.

Ingenious, Terry.

Really.

Take a good look, class.

This is how it’s done.

All right, we’ll discuss the

Other projects tomorrow.

Really nice work, Terry.

Thanks.

Well, you’ve got to admit.

It’s a pretty good project.

Right now it is.

Karen, what are you going to do?

Nothing.

It’s just that Terry's grown-up plants look so hungry.

Maybe they want some potato chips.

But Terry said they only eat meat.

Did she?

I don’t understand, mr.

Balfour.

They seemed perfectly fine yesterday.

I’m sorry, Terry.

But these things happen sometimes.

But even if the experiment fails, there are conclusions to

Be drawn.

You find out what happened, okay?

Yes, mr. Balfour.

And how’s your project, Karen?

Perfect.

You see, my experiment is all about the difference between

Carnivorous plants and, um, regular plants.

One half is lilies, and on the other half, I have a little baby

Venus flytrap.

Isn’t it cute?

Real cute.

And, louis, what do we have here?

Well, it occurred to me that short, low-voltage electric

Shocks may trigger certain pleasant memories.

For instance.

See what I mean?

You know, I was thinking, I

Want to re-choreograph that tigers’ routine.

Well, like how?

Well, let’s run it.

Okay.

Black!

Black!

Tiger fans, yell fight.

Fight!

F-i-g-h-t.

Tiger fans, yell fight.

Fight!

She completely sabotaged my project, and you know she dug up

My baby flytrap.

You are scary when you’re like this.

I’m going to get her where she lives.

The mall?

I’m going to need some sardines, some garlic, some sour

Milk, moldy cheese and baking powder.

What are you going to make?

I’m going to make her little cheerleading outfit reek

Forever.

Like we did to Nicole last halloween?

Yeah, exactly.

How are you going to get into her locker?

We’ll figure it out.

Just get me that gunk from the lab and meet me back here in

Half an hour.

Okay.

Ugh, smell that.

Overkill?

No such thing.

Okay, give me the stuff.

All right.

Go stand guard.

Oh, yeah.

How much should I use?

Six drops.

Okay.

Or six milliliters.

Which one is it?

Uh-oh.

Oh, please tell me "uh-oh" doesn’t mean you forgot.

I forgot.

Louis!

Harlow!

Harlow?

Hurry!

Quick, how much should I use?

Louis! Louis!

Here he comes!

Terry? Terry?

Terry venessi?

Terry!

I guess it was six drops.

I’m sorry we've had to delay this meeting, but maybe your

Noses can still tell you that the school has been closed for

The last two days.

I do appreciate the fact that you’ve brought your families

With you, though.

Terry’s a conscientious student, mr. Harlow.

She would never do something like this intentionally.

Well, thank you, mr. Balfour.

Well, Karen didn’t do anything.

In fact, I don’t even know why we should be here.

Because she ruined terry’s science project.

Hardly the same as vandalizing school property.

It’s worse.

Oh, really?

What about the-- now, ladies, please.

This is not the first time-- this is not the fifth time that

We’ve all been here together in this office.

I’m sure we all remember the little incident with the

Tear-away basketball jersey?

I was just trying to help her get a date.

The point is I don’t think that I can handle this feud of

Yours with another little mere suspension.

I’ve turned the matter over to a juvenile officer.

The police?

Mr. Balfour?

This is officer Smith.

I think you’ll find she has a very interesting take on this

Matter.

Given the severity of the damage and the history of the

Girls’ animosity to each other, i’m going to recommend that they

Be expelled from school and sent to the juvenile work farm in

Bixby for 30 days.

What?

You’re sending Terry to jail?

Work farm.

You can’t do that.

Can she?

What about the prom?

Oh, now that’s really important.

We’re both going to have criminal records and you’re

Worried about your moronic prom.

At least i’m going.

Well, don’t worry.

I’m sure the work farm will have a spring hoedown.

This is all your fault.

You always walk around like you’re smarter than anybody

Else.

That’s because I am.

Well, I guess you have to be something if you’re going to

Live in a deli.

Karen!

Well, it sure beats thinking you can get away with anything

Just because you’re rich.

Terry, be quiet.

Officer, is it really necessary to send the girls to a

Work farm?

There may be an alternative, a more... Creative sentence.

I didn’t bring it up because it’s difficult to judge just how

Much of their intolerance and prejudice the girls learn in

Their home.

What are you implying?

She is implying that you taught Karen everything you know

About being a snob.

Well, that is ridiculous.

Just because you couldn’t-- millie. Millie.

Officer, you were saying something about an alternative?

Creative sentencing?

Yes, mr. Ridgeway.

Instead of expulsion and a month at bixby, I suggest the girls do

50 hours of garbage detail for the parks department.

Gross.

Shut up.

You shut up.

And...

That they switch families for a month to see how the other girl

Lives.

You can’t make me live in a deli.

Jack, say something.

I think it’s an inspired idea.

Thank you, mr. Ridgeway.

Of course, I can’t force you into anything.

It’s your choice.

Our choice?

Some choice, living with them?

Ma, you want to speak up here?

Terry can stay in school?

Definitely.

We’ll do it.

There must be some alternative--

Count us in, too, officer.

Good.

Now, girls, this is for real.

When you switch families, you’ve got to do each other’s chores

And obey each other’s parents.

Whether you like it or not, you’re in this together, and

You’re going to walk in each other’s shoes for the next

30 days.

Understood?

Can I still go to the prom?

What?

Man!

Terry, hurry up!

I am.

Did you pack your good blue skirt?

Uh, yeah.

Great, and how about that nice gray cardigan?

Oh, no.

What is this about, ma?

I don’t want them thinking you are some gavone who does not

Know how to dress.

What does it matter what they think?

It matters.

That millie ridgeway has called already three times today.

Che cosa, those questions she asks.

She must think you were raised by wolves.

Or musicians.

Okay, pop, well, I will be

Back in one halfhour.

Okay.

And I will be back in a month.

I know, I know, I know.

What do you got planned for the rest of the day, pop?

Well, let’s see.

Michelle Pfeiffer called and cancelled our lunch, and so I

Figured i’d rearrange the biscotti, you know.

Good.

And have a few old friends over for some chianti.

Hey, who?

Hey, who.

What are you talking, "who"?

What’s the matter with you?

You have an appointment this 00, Dr. Colbert.

Now, I left the directions and the address by the cash

Register.

Hey, hey, hey, i’m a big boy now, all right?

I mean, if I can get to the paramount theater by myself, I

Can certainly get to the doctor by myself.

All right, okay.

Give me these.

Hey, ma!

I got ’em, I got 'em.

Hey, whiz kid, don’t I get a

Little sugar?

Yes.

Mmm!

Ti vuolo bene, bellisima.

Hey, what’s the word, mockingbird?

Swing and sweat and Charlie barnet.

Give this lady an "a."

Try to have some fun over there, okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bye, papa.

David, you think it’s going to be weird?

I think it beats being on trash detail.

No, it doesn’t.

I have to do that, too, in a tacky orange jumpsuit.

Well, at least it’ll match your hair.

Oh, that’s nice.

This is so unfair.

She gets to live in luxury and I have to live here, in a deli.

At least you’ll eat well.

Besides, how weird can it really be?

Besides, how weird can it really be?

Aw, Karen and her boyfriend.

Die, die!

Hello?

We’re watching you, deli girl.

Who is this?

Wow...

Cool.

Look through this.

Look through this.

Come on, look through this.

Stop.

Hello?

Do you deliver?

Ha ha ha.

What’s your favorite color?

Black, which is the absence of all colors.

Do you have a little sister?

Luckily, no.

Want to hear some "Knock-knock" jokes?

Knock-knock.

Knock-knock.

You’re supposed to say "who's there?"

Shouldn’t you be in a play group or something?

No.

Booby trap! Booby trap!

Booby-trap! Booby-trap!

Booby-trap! Booby-trap!

Booby-trap! Booby trap!

There is not enough room in that closet.

Do you have any wooden hangers?

All I found was wire.

No, that’s it.

Oh, uh, somebody named Chad called.

He called about four times this morning.

Why didn’t you come and get me?

What?

What am I, the bellboy?

What’s the matter with you?

You got to think.

Kids today.

Does this place always smell like salami?

Oh, no, no.

On wednesdays and thursdays, it smells like broccoli.

Hi, Chad.

No, they only have one line.

I know, muy primitivo.

Hey, you got two minutes on this line.

It’s a business phone.

I got to go, Chad.

Yeah, i’ll talk to you later.

You know, I have my own phone at home.

I couldn’t live without it.

What does Terry do?

Her homework.

Oh, that’s right.

Boys don’t call Terry.

Okay, Carl, my pleasure.

Bye.

Well, did you get settled, Terry?

Oh, yes, but some stuff fell out of the closet--

Oh, do you have any food allergies?

Excuse me?

If there is anything you can’t eat, just tell edna.

Uh, let’s see.

Oh, now here are the house rules.

You just read them through.

If you have any questions-- i’ll just ask you at dinner.

Oh, well, no, I won’t be home for dinner.

00 and then ladies league.

Come here.

Here’s our whole night right here on this calendar.

See, jack’s in black.

I’m in red, David's in green, tiff’s in blue.

David’s at the movies, and Jack has some cigar night thing with

His salesmen.

Oh, the main things for you to remember are you have two hours

A day on your telephone, no r-rated videos, no boys in the

Back of the house ever.

Edna is not a slave.

We recycle.

And absolutely no dirty towels on any of the bathroom floors.

Okay.

Sounds like fun.

Oh, be careful.

That’s from Germany.

This is not boot camp, really.

It’s just that we're all so busy, it really helps if we’re

Organized.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Well, great.

Then i’ll see you later.

Read your house rules.

See you later.

"Here at the ridgeway house, we believe teamwork is the key

To success"?

I’m toast.

Hello, mavis.

Mavis-- dieting.

So, Nicole tells me the venessi girl moved in today.

30 days and counting.

Don’t worry.

Everyone knows Karen was just reacting to that horrible girl.

She’s just like her mother.

Grace venessi was a troublemaker, too, remember?

Didn’t she protest against the dress code in high school?

She sure did.

And from the way she dresses now, looks like she’s still

Protesting.

Gigi.

Mm-hmm.

Between you, me and the lamppost, I think this whole

Thing could put you right over the top.

What do you mean?

Look around, millie.

Francine.

Everybody in this room feels sorry for you.

You’re bound to be nominated for president of the league.

You think?

You get another vote for every day karen’s stuck in that

Deli.

Boo.

What’s the matter?

Can’t sleep?

The bed was too soft.

Ah, felt the pea, huh?

Excuse me?

It’s a fairy tale.

About the princess and the pea.

It’s about this hoity-toity princess who couldn’t sleep

Because she felt a little pea while sleeping on a stack of

Mattresses.

I am not hoity-toity.

Could have fooled me.

How about some tomato and provolone, huh?

Gross.

Eat this before you go to bed, you’ll dream in

Technicolor.

What are those pills for?

Oh, these pills?

These are blood thinners.

Doctor says I got to have skinny blood.

My mom says cheese will kill you.

We use soy cheese.

It’s just like real cheese, only it’s made from beans.

Cheese from beans.

Mmm, that must taste blech!

What kind of sandwich are you making there?

Oh, rice cakes, tomato and cucumber.

What kind of dreams do you have with rice cakes?

I don’t know.

You don’t know, eh?

There’s a lot you don't know, princess.

Let’s see, what now?

A little fruit?

No, a little peppers.

What’s the matter?

You never seen a guy before?

Yeah.

No.

Uh, yeah-- nice PJs.

Oh, your mom says you shouldn’t throw towels on the

Floor.

It’s house rule number 17-b.

So pick it up.

Ech!

What is that?

What’s what?

That.

What, this?

Yes!

This is a tongue.

Is it real?

No, it’s a balloon.

Of course it’s real.

I don’t believe you people.

Whose was it?

It came from a rude little girl with a very big mouth.

Sorry.

Papa!

You left the pricer in the cooler.

What, it froze the prizes?

Oh.

Look at this, huh?

Watch this, Karen.

Press, wipe.

Pretty neat, huh?

Fascinating.

There you go.

Look, I may have to live here, but I don’t have to work

Here.

Che pas?

Hey, what’s this?

Papa, sta ti ziti.

Um, Karen, the thing is, Terry helps me every day after

School to stock the shelves, so 00, okay?

I have cheerleading.

No, you don’t.

What do you mean?

They didn’t tell you?

Where is that letter, papa?

I think you left it by the cash register.

That thing from the-- yeah.

Here, Karen...

Honey, you were suspended.

I guess it’s part of your punishment.

Nicole never even said anything to me.

I’m sorry.

I’m really sorry, Karen.

You want some breakfast, huh?

A nice frittata?

I don’t eat breakfast.

Edna usually makes me a soy milk smoothie.

Let me guess.

From beans, eh?

Papa, get her a nice jelly doughnut.

Good idea.

Yeah.

Karen, if it makes you feel any better, I was once

Suspended from cheerleading.

You were a cheerleader?

Yeah.

They dumped me for protesting the dress code.

Yeah, they want the cheerleaders to be perky, not political.

Did you ever get over it?

It ruined her life.

It did not.

Of course I got over it.

You will, too.

Listen, go on now, you’re going to miss your bus, okay?

You all right?

I’ll see you later.

This is delicious.

It’s 'cause it’s not made from beans.

That’s a sin.

Poor girl.

I can’t believe that millie.

She didn’t tell her about this.

Hey, maybe you two should get together, you know, compare

Notes.

That woman has more notes than a piccolo.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

What?

Don’t let her intimidate you.

Oh, she’s-- come on, come on.

You know, millie may live in larchmont now, but you and I

Both know she’s a little girl from walnut lane, just like you.

All right?

All right.

Okay.

Hey, sal, we’re going to play cards later.

You want to come, eh?

Here.

Oh, it’s clean.

Thanks.

I’m louis.

I know.

That’s just a shot, won't work.

What you got to do is, you got to wrap a tourniquet above the

Fang puncture so that the venom doesn’t travel up the leg, then

Someone has to suck all the poison out with their mouth.

Do you ever stop talking?

No.

But you sound like such a nerd.

I am a nerd.

Louis, I thought you were

Such a nerd.

I’m really impressed.

See you later, louis.

New girlfriend, louis?

She was crying, okay?

What was I supposed to do?

She was crying?

Really?

So how was your night in salami city?

And why were you talking to that moron?

Nicole, why didn’t you tell me I got suspended from the

Cheerleading squad?

Me?

I thought Blair told you.

I’m so sorry.

Oh, you poor thing.

I’ll make her apologize to you at lunch.

I’ll make her apologize to you at lunch.

Okay, i’ll have the monte cristo and a diet cream soda.

Thanks.

Very good.

For you?

Baked potato, no sour cream, salsa.

Dinner salad, no dressing, lemon.

And a sparkling water, please.

Very good.

You know, Grace-- I think that probably--

You go first.

All right.

I know you and I have taken different roads since high

School.

That’s an understatement.

Yes.

I want you to know I don’t blame you for the trouble Karen is in.

I don’t blame me either.

Well, no, what-- what I mean is, that officer seemed to feel

That children are a reflection of their parents.

That remark about your home, I-- well, I don’t know where Karen

Got that attitude.

I mean, Jack and I have certainly never encouraged her

To be so heartless about the disadvantaged.

Yeah, well...

Kids can surprise you.

I mean, for instance, I was an average student, right, in high

School, and here’s Terry, straight as.

All as, my Terry.

But, of course, that doesn’t mean she can lord it over

Anybody.

Of course.

Jack seems to feel that this switch will be good for Karen,

Give her some perspective on the real world.

But i’m worried she won't be able to handle how different

Things are.

Well, us folks in the real world will do our very best to

Make sure that things go as easy as possible for miss Karen

During her stay in the slums.

That’s not how I meant it at all.

How’d you mean it, millie, huh?

I mean, I can’t believe you.

One minute you’re telling me that you don’t know where Karen

Gets her attitude, and the next minute, you’re calling me

Disadvantaged to my face.

Who do you think you are?

Why are you being so sensitive about this?

I-i’m just trying to explain how I feel and clear the air.

Well, clear this.

I am not happy about my Terry going to live with you.

In fact, i’m worried.

I’m afraid she's going to come home a snotty, stuck-up little

Socialite like Karen.

Get over it, Grace.

What does that mean?

That means that you have had a chip on your shoulder ever

Since I went away to college and you had to stay behind.

Yes, you and everyone else on walnut lane.

Well, you can resent me all you like.

You leave my daughter out of this.

Fine, fine.

But if you do anything to my daughter, you hurt her in any

Way, I will be in your face so fast you’ll think I'm the

Alien.

You capiche, millie ridgeway?

I understand you perfectly.

If i’ve taught Karen anything, i’ve taught her never to

Apologize for her success.

My daughter may have to live with you, Grace, but she doesn’t

Have to lower her standards.

Now if you will excuse me, I seem to have lost my appetite.

No, no, no, no, no.

You gotta put just a little pressure on it.

Just a little pressure.

Not too hard.

How am I supposed to know how to cut meat?

I’m not even allowed to eat it.

Look, princess, don’t get mad.

It’s dangerous.

You could slice your finger off.

All right, now look, you got to play the slicer.

You know, it’s like Tommy Dorsey on the trombone.

See, you get a rhythm, you know

What I mean?

Smooth.

How’s that?

Well, you’re no Tommy Dorsey, but it’s okay.

Hey, Karen.

Can I get bread and mustard for that, or do you just want me to

Eat off your hands?

Hi, Chad.

Chad?

So you’re the guy's calling every five minutes, eh?

You want to buy a sandwich?

Sure.

We all do, right, guys?

Yeah.

I mean, as long as karen’s making them, you know.

Papa tognetti, nice to meet you.

Hey, you break that, you buy it.

Okay.

He’s going to buy it.

They got money.

Okay, we got customers.

Hey, pop. Pop!

Yeah?

What in the world is going on here?

These kids got money.

We got customers.

Looks great.

Where should I sit?

Nowhere.

This is a deli, not a restaurant.

You know, if you put tables outside, kids could hang out.

I don’t want kids hanging out.

You’d sell a lot more sandwiches.

You know, you could put a takeout window over there by the

Magazine rack, and then kids could order from the sidewalk.

That way, the store stays free for shoppers.

Not a bad idea.

Got any root beer?

I’ll get it from the back.

Takeout window.

Mannaggi.

Hi, Chad.

Hi, Nicole.

Hi, Blair.

Hello, mrs. Venessi.

Is Karen here?

Who wants to know?

I’m Nicole, her best friend.

Ah, the one who didn’t tell her she was dumped from

Cheerleading.

Chad, I got the root beer-- Nicole, Blair.

What are you guys doing here?

I thought you had cheerleading practice.

Ugh, you poor thing.

Do you really have to slice salami?

How else is she going to sell it, huh?

Pig’s feet?

Oh, how disgusting.

Gross.

Have you seen the tongue?

They have a tongue?

From an animal?

Yeah, it’s a regular pet cemetery around here.

Don’t worry, only 26 more days, then you’re out right

After the prom.

Hey, is David taking anybody?

Nicole, he’s 17.

He’s not going to our prom unless someone invites him.

You’re not thinking of inviting--

It would be so cool if I showed up with an older guy.

Nicole, David doesn’t listen to me about anything, especially

Girls.

Hi, Chad.

You’re not going to stay here, are you?

You know, a couple of tables outside, not a bad idea.

Papa, phil’s family owned this place for 50 years without

Tables.

So?

So.

So, a couple of tables outside is not a sin.

I mean, it’s a deli.

It’s not the vatican.

Can I take a break?

Chad wants to show me his suit for the prom.

Can’t you see we're busy?

But it’s just out front.

Then let him go get it!

Okay?!

Karen?

Listen, uh...

I didn’t mean to bite your head off this afternoon.

And, you know, maybe tables outside are a good idea.

It’s just that ever since terry’s dad died, I've sort of

Tried to keep the place the same.

So, i’m sorry.

That’s okay.

Would it be okay if I moved some furniture around in here?

There’s just not a lot of room for my stuff.

You sure are one for rearranging

Things, aren’t you, huh?

Okay, go ahead.

But be sure you put everything back the way you found it or

Terry will go bananas.

Tiffy, what are you doing in my

Bed?!

You kicked me!

What’s the matter?

Tiffany, are you all right?

She kicked me!

I didn’t know she was in the bed.

Mom, black jeans?

In the dryer, honey.

Oh, tiffy, Terry didn’t mean it.

You just scared her, that’s all.

I don’t scare Karen.

Well, yes, but Terry isn’t Karen.

No, she’s not.

Look, now why don’t you-- the two of you go and brush your

Teeth, okay?

Oh, my phone.

Remember, no towels on the floor.

Ditto.

All right.

Knock-knock.

Say "who’s there?" who’s there?

Orange.

Say "orange who?"

Terry?!

Knock-knock!

Well, Karen always babysits tiffy.

Yeah, but i’ve never babysat for anybody before.

What about David?

David’s studying at eddie's house.

Didn’t you look at the calendar?

Yeah, but what if something happ--

Emergency numbers are on the speed dial, and no tv for tiffy

00.

Don’t worry, I'll be home by 10:00.

00.

Bye.

Knock-knock!

Terry!

Knock-knock.

Tiffy, go play, okay?

Knock-knock.

Who cares?

Tish.

Say "tish who?" tish who is good for blowing

Your nose.

Get it?

Cut it out, tiffy.

You hate me.

No, I don’t hate you.

Look, I have a whole history chapter to read, and I can’t do

It when you’re bugging me.

You’ve got to help me out here.

What does Karen do with you when she has homework?

She plays mommy with me.

She’s always mommy when mommy's gone.

You mean she’s stuck with you all the time?

She’s not stuck!

Okay, okay.

What do you guys play?

I’m not singing "my favorite

Things."

Yeah, thanks for the recipe, mom.

They turned out great.

No, they don’t eat a whole lot of butter around here, but they

Tasted pretty good.

Here, say hi to my mom.

Hi.

Hi, terry’s mom.

Knock-knock.

Later, tiff.

Yeah, she sure loves her knock-knock jokes.

Hi, papa.

Yeah, I miss you, too.

No, it’s not so bad here.

Papa?

Papa?

How come it went dark?

It’s okay.

Terry!

Oh, don’t baby out on me, tiffy.

I’m scared.

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Hugo.

Hugo who?

Hugo upstairs and help me find a flashlight.

That’s a good one.

Yeah.

Here, i’ll help you.

Thanks.

Be careful.

Boy, it’s dark.

Yeah, that’s why they call it a blackout.

12-year-old Ann putnam testified against her friends,

And they were brought to trial as witches.

19 people were hanged by the neck, and one man was pressed

To death.

All of this happened between the years 1692 and 1694 in salem,

Massachusetts.

What was that?

You just stay here, tiffy.

Okay?

Terry, i’m scared.

It’s okay.

Just a little lightning.

What was that?

I don’t know.

Just be very, very quiet, okay?

It’s okay.

No problem.

It’s all right.

Got this.

Okay, here, now you stay there no matter what, okay?

David?

Oh, i’m so sorry.

I thought you were a burglar.

I was locked out.

I had to break in the basement.

Didn’t you hear me knocking?

No.

I’m so sorry.

Are you hurt?

I’ll live.

Can you manage not to kill anybody until I get the fuse

Fixed?

Okay?

Okay.

I’m sorry.

Hello.

Hey.

Let me give you a hand here.

Oh, thanks.

You know, you’ve got one heck of a swing there.

I think I got a lawsuit.

Oh, yeah?

Well, i’ll just plead self- defense.

You will, will you?

I guess i’ll let you slide this time.

Did you make this?

Yeah, it’s minestrone, my mom’s recipe.

Aha.

Hmm, not bad.

Not bad?

Oh, you don’t want any?

No, no, no, yes, I do want it.

It’s excellent.

Uh, you’re a great cook.

Terry, you never finished the story.

I forgot all about you, tiffy.

Nice babysitting.

Tell me about the man who was ironed to death.

Ironed to death?

What kind of stories is she telling you, huh?

I had a report on the salem witch trials to do.

The man was pressed to death.

Salem witch trials?

Yeah.

You should read the play "The crucible," by Arthur

Miller.

Have you heard of that?

Yeah.

You read plays?

I’m hungry.

Look, just because i’m from larchmont doesn’t mean I'm a

Bonehead, all right?

Oh, no, I didn’t mean that.

Well, you like Arthur Miller?

Yeah.

I think "death of a salesman’s" gotta be my favorite play.

Have you read that?

Well, I just saw a production of it last year.

You did?

Who played willy loman in it?

Julia rosenbloom.

Julia what?

It was at an all-girls’ high school.

Did you know that Arthur Miller was actually married to

Marilyn Monroe?

Marilyn-- no.

Yeah, people were blown away

By that.

Yeah, they probably couldn’t understand why a brilliant

Playwright would marry some actress.

Phone!

People only knew her from her movies.

Isn’t anybody going to get that phone?

So you think that Marilyn Monroe was a lot deeper than she

Appeared?

I think everybody is.

Hi, mom.

Yeah, the lights are back on.

Tiffany’s just fine.

We’re having a little soup here.

Yeah, that same salt-free, fat-free, taste-free stuff you

Always give us.

What?

Yeah.

What?

♪ you like David eat your granola bar, okay?

All right, bye.

Ah...

Karen?

Kar-- Karen!

Why’d you do that?

I’m stuck here.

Sorry.

Let me get it.

Ow.

Thanks.

Welcome.

Oh, so you’re talking to me now?

I guess so.

But not in public, and don’t tell anybody.

Who am I going to tell?

Louis?

He’s your friend.

Yours, too.

What’s that supposed to mean?

He has the biggest crush on you.

He does?

He watches everything that you do.

Kind of like your mom.

You noticed?

Hard to miss.

She still all over papa?

If she asks him to take his pill one more time, i’m going to

Start taking them.

Fight!

F-i-g-h-t!

Tiger fans, yell fight! Fight!

They’re doing the tigers cheer wrong.

Nicole!

The handsprings go at the end, not the middle!

Nice jumpsuits!

Hey, Karen!

Maybe you should try out for mascot!

You’ve already got the outfit!

Nice friends you got there.

Veggies, rice cakes.

I feel like i’m at a diet camp, louis.

Um, Karen?

What?

Excuse me.

Oh, wendy, why don’t you take the extra seat?

Sorry, no room.

Does anyone have a salad they

Want to trade for a sandwich?

It’s probably tongue.

Or pig’s feet.

I do.

You’re not eating your sandwich.

I’m not hungry.

You and Chad aren’t on the outs, are you?

No, he’s great.

But I know he wants to be prom king, and he’ll never make it

With me.

Wh-- don’t say that.

It’s true.

Even nicole’s treating me like the kiss of death these days.

Well, that’ll pass.

People can be fickle.

It’s just a fact of life.

That doesn’t mean it's right.

No, it doesn’t.

If it’s any consolation to you, the ladies league decided

Against using mama luna’s for the prom hors d’oeuvres.

Got a better offer from food way.

But the venessis could use the money.

I’m sure they could.

Why do you hate her so much?

Hate who?

Terry’s mom.

I thought the whole idea of the switch was to learn to get

Along.

If Terry and I have to do it, why don’t you?

Terry.

Oh, hi, Karen.

Oh, i’m sorry.

We’re not supposed to talk in public, sorry.

That doesn’t matter anymore.

So what are you doing?

Oh, I had to return a book.

Oh, new shoes for the prom?

If I go.

If you go?

You have to go.

You and Chad are going to be king and queen.

Are you going?

Get real.

Why don’t you take louis?

Louis isn’t a date.

He’s more like a... Pet.

You know, Terry, you could

Get a date if you wanted to.

Yeah, in a parallel universe I could.

Come here.

I like it.

It’s much more elegant than those things you were wearing.

Yeah.

Those.

But what about lipstick?

I don’t even know.

Like mine.

Okay, what about my hair?

I mean-- like mine.

Okay.

Don’t look now, but you've just been officially registered

As competition.

Is that Terry venessi?

No!

Who does she think she is?

What’s their problem?

Terry, they’re guys.

What’s that supposed to mean?

All they care about is girls and food.

Carl?

Carl, we’re breaking up.

I’ll call you back.

Hello.

Good afternoon.

Can I help you, miss?

I’m looking for Grace venessi.

Well, who shall I say is-- millie.

Millie o’brien, right?

Ah...

You filled out, eh?

Well, yes, I guess I did.

How are you, mr. Tognetti?

Well, let’s say I'm better than yesterday, eh?

Oh.

No, no, it’s a joke, a joke.

Oh!

If I remember right, you used to like...

Ah, English toffee.

Yes.

Yes, I did.

But not anymore.

I-i don’t eat processed sugar.

Oh, neither do I.

Oh.

Um, but if you did, I wouldn’t tell a soul.

Uh, it... Used to be right behind the counter.

It still is.

Oh, you know, when phil’s dad

Ran this place, he used to sneak me some of that every time I

Came here to market.

I don’t know how I stayed so thin.

Maybe i’ll have two pieces.

Mr. T-- mr. Tognetti, are you all right?

Uh...

Wait, i’ll get-- I'll get help.

If he takes his pills, he’s fine.

There is no telling him anything.

I try, but...

Papa, it’s late!

Please keep it down!

Well, I know what you mean.

My mother almost drove me crazy.

She plays the sax, too?

No.

I mean, you know, first she

Wanted to sell her house.

Then she didn’t.

Then she wanted to live with us, but the kids then drove her

Nuts.

Finally she found a place that she loved.

Would you like me to send you a brochure?

Oh, no.

I could never put papa in a home.

Oh, no, this isn’t a home.

This is one of those leisure villages.

You know, golf, tennis.

My mother loves it.

Well, forget about papa; where do I sign up?

Millie, i’m really sorry about the other day.

That makes two of us.

Oh, no, no cookies for me, thank you.

No wonder you’re so skinny.

You know, in school, oh, how I envied you.

You looked so great in jeans.

Yes, I mean, but you got breasts in sixth grade.

No, I got socks in the sixth grade.

I didn’t have breasts till the 11th grade.

Oh!

I know!

But you, you got Bruce hagen to take you to the junior prom.

Ooh, Bruce hagen?

Bruce hagen!

Whatever happened to him?

Bald.

No.

Yes, and he married that awful Maria Cody.

No!

Yes. Yes.

They have six kids.

They come in here all the time.

Maria Cody has six kids?

Tell me that she kept on all that weight.

Skinny.

Oh!

Well, I hate her.

So now will you have a cookie?

Are you kidding?

I’m having two.

Why, millie!

Okay, here’s to scrawny Maria

Cody.

And here’s to billiard ball Bruce hagen.

Okay.

Hey, David, want to hear a knock-knock joke?

Knock-knock.

When do you think we’re going to get out of this knock-knock

Phase, huh?

Well, Jack, what do you think?

I like it.

It’s too busy.

Stavros, it’s too busy.

Morning.

What?

Well, good morning to you, Terry.

Don’t you look pretty?

Well, terry’s been shopping.

Allow me, miss venessi.

Thank you, mr. Ridgeway.

David looks like he ate chili peppers.

Hush, tiffy.

You know, um, just school if you want, uh, my car.

No problem.

Try a verb, son.

Thanks for the help, dad.

I guess I was going to always be a biochemical engineer.

Except for that one time when I thought I was sure I would be an

Astronaut.

Or a ballerina.

I used to dance around the deli in this little tutu.

I guess i’m talking too much, aren’t I?

No, not at all.

Well, what, then?

I think you’d make a great astronaut.

Or a ballerina.

Oh, my gosh.

Is that Terry in david’s car?

Yeah, right.

Hey, David, car?

Oh, my gosh, it is!

Hey, David!

Who’s the babe in your car?

My mom says karen’s mom used to live on walnut lane.

No wonder Terry is karen’s new best friend.

The one I feel sorry for is Chad.

Looks great.

Mr. Balfour, would it be okay if Terry joined the prom

Committee?

Sure, sure, we could use as many people as we can get.

As a matter of fact, we’re kind of short on chaperones.

You think maybe your mother might be interested?

I could ask her.

Great, great, have her give me a call.

Or better yet, Karen, why don’t you have her give me a call?

Hi, Karen.

Terry, love the hair.

It’s so... Poofy.

Thanks.

Nicole...

You know, I hate to bring it up, Terry, but prom committee is

Just for people who are actually going to the prom.

Terry is going.

I am?

Sure, you are.

Oh, really?

With who?

Whom.

Either way, the committee is full.

Says who?

Whom.

And it doesn’t matter.

Terry should just leave.

Terry has just as much right to be here as anybody else.

It’s nice you've made Terry your little project, Karen, but

Getting your brother to drive her down the street, that won’t

Make her something she’s clearly not.

Excuse me.

Terry!

Okay, guys, I found some cool old gangster photos.

Maybe we can blow them up or something.

Where’s Karen?

I told her I would meet her here.

She left.

Oh, but wait, Chad, um...

I do need some help with the prom ballots.

There’s some bottles down there.

Look, Terry, don’t let Nicole get to you.

Why not?

She’s right.

No, she’s not.

You can do whatever you want.

Yeah, well, maybe prom committee isn’t what I want.

I thought we had fun at the mall.

We did, but-- then what’s your problem?

Karen, I appreciate everything you’ve done, but stop

Trying to turn me into someone you can be seen with.

You think that’s what I'm trying to do?

I don’t belong with a bunch of cheerleaders.

Those are your friends.

Not anymore.

I don’t even know why I ever liked Nicole.

She’s so mean.

Yeah, well, get used to it.

You’re walking in my shoes now, remember?

And you’re walking in mine.

You’ve got to admit, they're a lot cuter than the ones you had

Before.

Yeah, but maybe they don’t fit.

Yeah, but maybe they don’t fit.

How’s it look, huh?

Pretty good.

Pretty good?

Yo-ho-ho.

Terry, you got new clothes.

You look pretty.

Want to play dress-up?

Oh, I can’t, tiffy, I have an English report to do.

That’s a nice mustache, captain hook.

Sure, Carl, if i’m elected ladies league president, I will

Plug larchmont real estate every single chance I get.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Well, bye.

Well, hello, everybody.

Hi, mom.

Ooh, stavros.

Ooh, horrible.

Oh, Terry, oh, i’m glad you're here.

I have a league meeting tonight, so you’re babysitting.

Ooh, I can’t.

Tiffy, honey, you have lipstick all over your face.

It’s makeup.

I have an English report to do.

Your meeting wasn’t on the calendar.

I know, I forgot to write it down.

Well, this week has been so crazy.

I’m sorry, but I can't.

I don’t think you understand, Terry.

I really need you to babysit tonight.

Hello, is stavros there?

What about David?

What about mr. Ridgeway?

Uh, ask him to call mrs. Ridgeway, thank you.

David and Jack are busy.

Well, so am I!

I need to do my homework!

No wonder karen’s flunking out.

Maybe if you were home once in a while, Karen could get some work

Done.

She covers for you all the time.

I mean, karen’s not tiffy's mom.

You are.

I’ll stay with tiff, mom.

I can help tony with his speakers some other night.

Come on.

And when your mother left for college, I started working right

Away.

I would like to have gone, yeah, but my grades, the money.

Princess, where’s the rice cakes?

Oh, in the cabinet by the sink.

Good, thanks.

You’re not going to eat them, are you?

Yeah, rice cakes are good for you.

You see, you take your rice cake, then you take your

Lettuce, then you take your tomato, and then I take my

Cheese.

You see, the cheese is balanced by the fiber in the rice cake.

You’ll learn about fiber when you get older,

I can’t wait.

You’ll see.

He’s funny, pop, huh?

What’s the matter?

You don’t look good.

Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.

You’ve had this dark cloud over your head since you came home

Today.

What’s going on?

I think Terry hates me.

I tried to help her, and-- how?

How did you help her?

You know, fix herself up, new clothes, new hair.

Really?

How does she look?

In... Credible.

She could even get a date to the prom if she wanted.

But it’s like she won't even try.

I know.

Oh, mr. Balfour wants chaperones for the prom.

He says you should call him.

Mnh-mnh, no, I can’t chaperone the prom.

Why not?

Because.

Because.

Uh...

I’ll think about it.

The prom.

Well, it’s nice to see someone using karen’s computer.

I’m working.

Yeah, so am I.

I’m the official babysitter.

It’s my job to make sure you're alive.

I’m alive.

Look, I just wanted to let you know that I thought you were

Great with mom before.

Karen doesn’t stick up for herself enough, and, you know,

Mom’s great, but sometimes she tries to do too much.

Thanks.

What?

You look-- you look great.

You guys are all the same.

How so?

You gravitate to the shiniest object.

Like grunion.

I do not gravitate to shiny girls.

I gravitate to smart minds.

In short skirts.

Busted.

Can I ask you something?

Did Karen ask you to drive me to school?

What?

She did, didn’t she?

No.

Is that why you’re acting so weird?

I’m not acting weird.

Nicole cornered me at prom committee--

Wait a minute, Nicole?

Say no more.

That girl’s bad news.

What were you doing at the prom committee?

I don’t know.

Karen dragged me.

You can’t even be there unless you’re going.

Are you?

Kind of hard to go to the prom without a date.

Well, then, get one.

Yeah, how am I supposed to do that?

The only guy who talks to me at school is louis, and he’s...

Louis.

So ask somebody else.

Sure, no problem.

If you don’t mind, I have to analyze the irony in "gift of

The magi."

Look, Terry, it’s really no big deal.

You just walk up to the guy that you want.

You say, "hi, you don’t know me very well, but I was wondering

If you’d like to go to the prom with me."

Yeah, and then he says, "Sure, but first can I drop you

Off at the insane asylum?" no, no, he won’t.

Go ahead and just try it.

Try it, practice on me.

Go ahead.

Hi, you don’t know me very well, but I was wondering if

You’d like to go to the prom with me.

Love to.

Yeah, like he’d really say that.

I would.

Just did.

You want me to go to the prom with you?

Would you?

Only if you wear that pirate hat.

I was kidding.

Yeah, I know.

So is that a yes?

Yes.

Yes?

Good.

Oh, come on, Chad.

I know you want to go to the Boyz II Men concert.

Just-- just let me think about it.

All right.

Think about it.

Karen!

Karen, i-i can explain.

Come on, come on, your wife’s calling.

Come on, get over here.

You’ll get even tomorrow, all right?

But Karen won’t even talk to me.

Yeah, I wouldn’t either if you were going out with Nicole.

I’m not.

All I said was I would think about the concert.

Yeah, and then you kissed her.

She kissed me.

I didn’t kiss her.

Whatever.

Please, just give her this for me.

Hey, louis.

Hey, Terry.

I won, I won, I won.

It’s better than losing all the time.

I won, I won, I won.

Playing a little poker?

Hey, look who’s here!

How you doing?

Hey, Grace, look who’s here, huh?

Hey, ma!

With her dress and everything.

Hiya, baby.

Hi. Hey, look at you.

Oh, my goodness.

Karen told me about the hair, but that skirt is a little

Short.

Oh, yeah, well, that’s how they wear them.

When did we get tables out front?

Oh, mr. Porcella had a garage sale.

Are those army boots?

No.

What’s wrong?

Nothing.

So, to what do we owe the honor of this visit?

Oh, Chad wanted me to give this to Karen, and i’m going to

The prom, so I was wondering if maybe--

Hey, you’re going to the prom?

Yeah.

What, don’t you believe me?

Sure, of course I believe you.

With who?

David, karen’s brother.

He’s older than you.

Yeah, I know.

I like him.

Hear that?

He’s older than her.

She likes him.

I don’t know about this.

What do you mean you don’t know about this?

I’m going to the prom whether you like it or not, ma.

Don’t you talk to me like that.

Well, you’re talking to me like that.

I only came over here to see if you might want to shop for a

Prom dress with me, but now you don’t even want me to go.

No, Terry, that is not what I meant!

Ever since dad died, mom, all you do is work.

You say no to everything all the time.

Well, if that’s what you want, fine, spend the rest of your

Life slicing salami and nagging pop about whether or not he took

His pill.

I’m going to the prom with David, mom, and you can’t stop

Me!

What was that all about?

That was Terry growing up.

No, no.

No, no, leave it alone.

Play the ace!

The name of the game is solitaire, all right?

Leave it alone.

Have some cake, and then you open the present from Chad.

I am never opening his present.

But I am going to eat that entire cake.

Good.

Oh, listen, i’ve got to get ready to go.

Got a hot date, huh?

No, p.t.a.

Play the ace, pop.

Play the ace.

Everybody plays solitaire.

Everybody plays solitaire.

You know, she never goes anywhere anymore.

And I know why.

It’s because of me.

No, it’s not.

Yeah, don’t tell me, princess.

I’ve been around here a little too long.

You know, she’s starting to think of me as the man of the

House.

That’s, non sta bene.

That’s no good.

Want to see what I found in her mail?

You opened her mail?

Ooh.

So i’m nosey.

What are you going to do, arrest me?

Look at that.

Laurel estates.

This is where my gran lives.

It’s great.

They have mambo class and everything.

Mambo class and everything?

Do you think these people can still shake it to tito puente?

You’re worried that mrs.

Venessi wants to send you there.

Princess, nobody sends me anywhere.

I may be losing a few of my top notes, but I still know the

Tempo.

You got to know when to blow, and always leave them wanting

More, that’s my motto.

I like that.

You like that?

Give me five.

Okay, you two, listen, tell me the truth.

How do I look?

Mrs. Venessi, you look great.

Okay? All right.

My gracie cleans up good when she wants to, huh?

I won’t be long, papa.

Take your time.

What, are you going to rush back? You’re going to come back

To look at me playing cards?

Have some fun, for crying out loud.

Okay, princess.

This is it.

You play poker?

Yeah, I beat David all the time.

You do?

Let’s see if you can beat me.

The name of the game is seven card stud, nothing wild.

Okay.

If you win, you get to eat the cake.

I win, you open chad’s present, right?

Deal?

Deal.

Deal.

Okay, poker face, what do you got?

Three tens.

Oh...

Read ’em and weep.

All diamonds.

Okay, open the present.

Oh, look.

It’s a little king and queen dancing.

Where you going?

I never eavesdrop on private phone conversations.

Put Chad out of his misery, okay?

Thank goodness I won one.

I let you win.

I know.

Hi, Chad?

Yeah, I love it.

Of course i’ll go.

Only two more days.

Hard to believe.

Yeah, it’s kind of nice having the prom at the end of

It, though.

Nervous about the election?

Not really.

You know what’s weird?

I don’t care if I'm prom queen anymore.

So much has gone on this month.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Your kitchen’s probably been about 17 colors already.

Guess what?

Your mom volunteered to be chaperone.

You’re kidding.

No, you really shook her up the other day, Terry.

You know, it’s not easy for her running that deli and worrying

About your grandpa all the time.

I know.

But she just makes me so mad.

You know, it’s like she thinks i’m her.

Just because she’s cold, I've got to put on a sweater, you

Know?

Terry, she’s your mom.

She’s always going to treat you like a baby.

At least she’s there for you.

Karen, your mom does the best she can.

She’s just so busy.

She’s so busy because she wants to be.

I don’t mind that she works.

What gets me is she’s never home.

You know, I actually caught tiffany calling edna "mommy"

Once.

Tell me that doesn’t say it all.

Was my mom really upset?

I’ll be right back.

Hello, papa?

Hi, sweetheart.

Oh, i’m sorry, too, baby.

Well, you know, i’m not okay.

Papa is missing.

Well, of course I looked upstairs.

His whole room is cleared out, Terry, his clothes, his

Suitcase, his saxophone, everything.

Well, honey, I think it means that papa has run away from

Home.

Why don’t we just go out in my car and look for your

Grandfather?

Because papa has band buddies all over the country.

He could be anywhere by now.

That’s it.

Know when to blow and leave them wanting more.

What does that mean?

It means I think I know where papa is.

Well, what’s with the big meeting?

Terry’s grandfather ran away from home.

Come on, David, drive us over to mama luna’s.

I’ll drive you.

You don’t have to.

I want to.

I’ll stay here with tiffy, then.

Be here when you get back.

Okay.

Stavros?

Maybe we’ll just leave it white.

One, two, three, four.

Look, Terry.

See?

I told you.

Hey, you guys are not bad.

Not good.

But we’ll get better, okay?

Got to practice.

Hey, papa.

Hey, look who’s here.

How you doing?

You sounded great.

Hello, hello.

Hi!

Hello, mr. Tognetti.

Where’d you all come from?

We’ve been looking for you.

Princess, i’ll bet you're the one who tracked me down, eh?

Well, I figured you thought the time was right.

Know when to blow.

Hey, give this little lady a big "a," eh?

Okay, papa, come on.

Let’s go, let's go.

Just a minute.

Could you excuse us for a second?

Oh, sure.

You, too, Terry, all right?

I want to talk to you.

Grace?

What, papa?

I just cut a great deal with the management.

I take care of the band and they give me a big discount.

Oh, okay, now look, don’t kid around.

I know you found the brochure because Karen told me.

I wasn’t going to send you here.

You belong at home with me and Terry.

Grace, Grace, sit down, sit down.

All right.

Grace, it’s not your decision anymore.

But, pop-- hey, hey, hey, I know you

Mean well.

I also know if you keep me puttering around the store,

You’re going to use it as an excuse to hole up in the deli.

Why do you want to stay here?

You hate golf.

I also hate sweeping up.

Hey, look, i’m a sax man, I'm

Not a janitor, and this is a perfect setup.

I can play here.

And the band needs me.

I heard.

Ah...

Okay.

But i’ll miss you, pop.

And Terry will, too.

Hey, look, i’ll be over the store every day.

Yeah?

Oh, sure.

Got to have some prosciutto and some peppers ’cause the food

Here is worse than the band.

Okay, but you don’t like it,

You come right home, you hear?

Sure.

Oh, and, pop...

I took my pill.

Love you.

Okay, fellas, let’s take it from the top.

Oh, boy, this is going to be some job.

Jack?

Yeah, honey?

Well, my speech still isn’t right.

Honey, if you win, just say, "Thanks, everybody.

Enjoy the fish."

Mom, do these flaps go under or over?

Oh, under.

Oh, Jack.

I’ll get it.

I’m talking about the camera.

I’ll get it.

I told Grace that we would tape Terry.

Good luck tonight.

Oh, thank you, honey.

She’s almost ready.

Where are the flowers?

Oh, on the piano.

Oh, honey, wait-- over.

Oh, I wish I could be with you guys tonight.

Mom, the flowers.

Oh, edna, my purse!

Oh, edna.

Ready?

Ready and waiting.

Hurry or she won’t be perfect anymore.

All right, all right.

Ready.

Okay, Terry!

Wow!

Talk about the roaring ’20s.

Jack.

Terry’s not 20.

She looks like an angel, huh?

Oh, yes.

Just like an angel.

Oh, now don’t touch it.

You’ll ruin it.

Karen, how come i’m the one who’s all nervous?

What do you think, papa?

I think she looks like a real hot dish.

Grazie, papa.

Thanks.

Thanks for coming over to see us tonight.

I was at your first prom.

This one i’m going to enjoy.

Oh, that’s Chad.

His brother’s driving us to the prom.

Hold it, you stay put.

Now watch this, Karen.

You’ll see what happens when you mess around with a tognetti.

Hey, gavone!

Chad, you’re a prom date, not a cab driver!

I brought her up right, huh?

Now you come up here and get her like a real man, or she’s

Not going!

I’m thinking you better go.

I am your mother until tomorrow, and no daughter of

Mine goes running when some boy honks his horn.

I capiche.

Capiche.

Capiche, hey, bravo, bravo, cyena.

Oh, mamma mia.

So the

Lawyer turned to the cannibal and said, "my broker or yours?"

You know, the larchmont ladies

League had the best year ever.

Our silent auction raised over $20,000 in gym equipment for the

Homeless.

Thanks to the efforts of our

Intrepid treasurer, sandy sissel, who, by the way, is

Engaged again to a wonderful architect she met at the soft

Shell crab festival.

Yay, sandy.

Don’t give up your credit cards.

Now for those of you who didn’t

Go to the festival, sandy not only waitressed...

Thank you, sweetheart.

What time do you have?

9:30, and they haven’t even served the salad yet.

Let’s go.

But they’re going to announce the president any minute.

I don’t care.

I want to see Karen at her prom.

Johnny, you’re fantastic.

You’re an angel.

Yes, you are.

Jack?

Jack, where are you going with our fearless leader?

Ladies and gentlemen, the next president of the larchmont

Ladies league, millie ridgeway.

Congratulations, millie.

Go ahead.

Oh, Terry, I wish your daddy

Could see you.

Me, too, mama.

May I have a dance?

Of course.

Here you go, mrs. Venessi.

Would you like to, uh...

Yes.

You don’t know what I was going to ask you.

My new policy is to say yes.

From now on, i’m saying yes to everything.

I could take advantage of that.

Yes, you could.

Look what I found in the garbage.

What do you got there, louis?

Looks like prom ballots for king and queen.

Looks like nicole’s stuffing the ballot box.

What?

What are you going to do?

Here, just hold on to these.

Okay, everybody!

Now it’s time for the awards!

And all of the time when I was growing up on walnut lane, I

Dreamed of a night like this.

A night when I would...

A night when I would look at my watch and say, "sorry, everyone,

I can’t stay."

I’ve got a prom to crash.

So thanks, everybody, and enjoy the fish.

All right, now here’s an

Award I know you’re all going to like.

This year’s science award goes to the brainiest girl in school,

Terry venessi!

Terry! Hey!

Oh, thank you.

What did they do to her ribbon?

Grace, what’s going on?

They’re making fun of Terry.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let her handle it.

Deli girl.

Thanks, Nicole.

I’ll cherish this forever because I know it comes right

From your heart, wherever it is.

Now let’s get to the award

Everyone’s been waiting for, prom king and prom queen.

Yes, for our most important award, prom king goes to...

Chad Elkins.

And prom queen goes to...

Me.

Wait a minute!

Does this seem right to you?

No!

How many people voted for Nicole?

How many people voted for Karen ridgeway?

Wait a second, wait a second.

I know some of you voted for me, didn’t you?

Blair?

Maybe you’d like to do a recount, Nicole.

Miss Anderson?

Miss Anderson, may I see you for a moment?

Now.

Excuse me, Chad.

Hey, Karen, didn’t you say that crown didn’t matter to you?

You know what, you’re right.

Here, you can have it.

But if anybody’s going to be deli girl, it’s going to be me.

Got to be you.

Definitely.

Down, girl.

Over here, girls!

Give me a smile!

Perfect!