Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- Now we'll fry the earthworm in the pan. - Alrighty.

- Is it poisonous? - Suck on its teeth, and you'll know.

Alright, it's soft enough now.

Come on, strip for me.

- Man, this thing's big. - Almost as big as yours, but not as thin.

The white broads will get the bowels.

- They're still a bit dull. - You think this'll sharpen them up?

Sure, but if the boss catches you, you're fish-fodder.

Ah, he's in his bunk dreaming.

Those pirate pigs. Nothing to chew on for two days.

These water buffalos will batten us soon enough.

After all, if they want to sell us off, we have to look good.

The Chinese have the hots for white chicks, especially if they're still virgins.

But all you still are is white, Brenda.

Do you really think they'll sell us? I don't want to become a slave.

Stop whining. That won't make things any better.

We have to come up with something.

I don't want to play the tangerine for some fat mandarin.

I don't care if fat or not. He just has to be deft on the mattress.

And if anybody doesn't play ball, I'll grab him by his balls.

Where did you fish this shit out? Tastes like old grandpa behind his left nut.

Shut up, or I'll serve you a refill.

- Open up. - Couldn't you at least spice this snake muck?

I prepared it according to granny's cookbook.

- Can you even read? - No. Why? Is that a requirement?

Good one...

They sure tried to poison us.

This is so disgusting.

Who did it?

- Who got into the girls' shirts? - I... I didn't!

- Me neither! Honestly, boss! - You damn dirty liars!

Listen up, you bastards!

If anyone else wipes his fingers on the girls...

He can go home on foot. Understand?

These girls are for boss tiao.

Anyone who objects can hop off the boat right now.

- Sandbank ahead! - Haul in the sails!

- Haul in the sails! - Drop the anchor!

Drop the anchor!

Come on, step into the sun, and get a tan.

- This way, please. - Come on, hurry!

Next!

- Faster! Faster! - Hands off, asshole!

Put her into the first boat.

- Come on, walk! - This way!

Enter the seven virgins the bod squad

silence!

- No, no... - Shut up!

Hey! Hide! Run away! The pirates are coming!

Come on!

Follow me!

Away with the spinach!

Today we're going to party! It's mothers day in Africa.

Take off the black clothes, or are you in mourning?

- Hey! Where's your boss? - In the cellar, working on his sports badge.

- Don't play hard to get! - Please don't, ju-lau!

Ju-lau, the captain's here with new girls.

- And only white ones. - Paws off, you stink!

- I'd love to get in her pants! - Go wash your hands first!

- Show me your flimsies! - You stink! Are you deaf?

- I will give you a hand! - They're disgusting!

- Now, strip! Your rags are due for laundry! - Piss off, you pig!

Hey captain! Are they deloused?

Hey! Don't rip my rag! It's the only one I got!

- Ju-lau? - Huh?

Cut it out! The girls are none of your business!

Captain, take the girls upstairs.

Come on, let's go!

If you step on my foot again I'll kick back!

Shut up!

Come on, off to meat inspection.

Faster! Move faster, I said!

- Get lost, she's mine! - Let go of me, you dirty bastard!

- You stay out of this! - Ju-lau!

Take the girls to the boss immediately.

- Come on, let's go! Get going! - Keep your hands off me!

Come on, get moving!

- Come on! Come on! - Get in there, it's heated!

- Karen, where are they taking us? - In there!

Come here!

Form a line and shut your traps!

What's going on?

Take a good look, you might learn something.

That position was already out of fashion in old Egypt.

Don't writhe so horny, every one of you will get a piece.

Hey boss, I got some fresh meat for you. And no trichinae, guaranteed.

Beat it!

Keep still!

- I want to see what I'm buying. Strip! - Yeah! Down with those rags!

- Never seen something unwrapped, huh? - Yeah...

Hey boss, I've never brought you such tight broads before.

I want some sequins on top for them.

Oh, really?

- You think that's funny? - Yes, I want it doubled.

You must have some speech impediment. Pull out your tongue, I will carve it right!

No, boss!

- Hyang-Ian! - Yes?

- He'll only get half. - Okay.

Out!

Out! Get out! Come on, go! Go!

You monster!

Ko Mei Mei?

Yes.

Tell yin-po to check if they're still virgins.

But before that, get them washed. They're reeking already.

Yes.

Stay calm, girls. We'll play along for the time being.

A bath can't do harm, right?

Scrub me nice and well, granny, I'm not made of marzipan.

Yes...

That's nice.

Not just under the arm, granny.

What happens when they find out the two of us are no virgins anymore?

Maybe they'll sell us to some old folks' home.

And what about us? Are the Chinese going to rape us?

Nonsense. I guarantee we're out of here before they can poke you.

I will work the big boss until his little warrior can't fight no more.

- Tell me your names. - I'm Karen, and this is my sister Donna.

- Brenda... Anne, and this is Celia. - My name is ko Mei Mei.

- Oh, that's a pretty name. - Oh my...

- And you're pretty, too. - Thank you. We must go now. Come on.

Stupid uniform...

Spread your legs! Don't be coy!

Good, you can close them again.

What is she doing?

You have three guesses. She's checking if she's still sealed.

Can you actually see that?

- Just put a mirror down there. - Good. Get up.

Ah, k0 Mei Mei!

Where did you catch these beautiful snow white birdies?

- Yin-po, you have to check the girls. - Yes, I know.

They're looking really fresh.

Come on, strip and lay down.

And you... right next to her.

- Where are the white girls? - Back there.

I'll need a ladder for you!

- Take that off! - No!

Get lost! I'll unwrap her myself.

Come with me!

No! Let go of my sister!

- She already has a boyfriend! - Come on now! Beat it!

- No, I don't want this! Karen! - Leave her alone!

Donna!

Be quiet. Stay here. Nothing will happen to her.

Come on! Move!

Brother!

- Why didn't you come here for so long? - I couldn't.

I lived on an island for the last two years.

I developed a new sword-fighting style. Now I can fight that gang.

- I can't stand it anymore. - Don't cry. I'll get you out of here.

No! No!

Please!

Take your hands off, or you'll feel my whip!

- Come to me, my little birdie! Yeah... yeah! - No! Let me go!

Ah, such nice apples!

Yeah...

Yeah... I'd love to ride you through the gobi desert!

Now you're going to be real nice to me. Yeah... like that. Yeah...

Who was that?

One of the white girls boss tiao bought. Ju-lau wants to rape her.

- Oh, no! - Stop whining, you'll enjoy it as well.

Stop!

Ko-pao! What are you doing here?

Now I'll turn off your gas, and hang you from the Chinese wall!

Go after him! He mustn't escape!

Kill him!

Squeeze the blood out of his body!

- Help! - Halt!

- I'll be back! - Go get him!

Damned dog!

That's all your fault! You weren't quick enough!

Who let that guy into my house? You blasted sleepyheads!

And now a word for you. Listen closely.

Did you get the message, you idiot?

You are good for nothing!

What do I pay you for? You can't even handle one single man!

I will shave your heads, so your hair can't block your sight anymore!

Now calm down a little, and don't play the boogeyman.

Ko Mei Mei, have the girls been examined?

Yes, tao-fu. The two older ones are no virgins anymore.

You pigs! Ju-lau, who did this?

I didn't! I didn't touch them! Ask yin-po! None of us did anything to them!

What did yin-po say?

She thinks both of them were deflowered a long time ago.

Keep this in mind: Whoever touches the girls dies!

- Ouch, what are you doing? It hurts! - It's good for your skin.

She's just plucking the hair in your face and on your body.

I'll tell you one thing: If you pluck just one of my hairs, I'll shave you...

With a rusty scythe.

- But Chinese men don't like hairy women... - I don't care.

Someone plucks me, I'll smack him.

Karen, you look so cute! Your dress is very pretty!

I find these rags pretty boring. I prefer going topless.

Gosh...

Hey feng! She's gotjugs... come here.

- You're pushing my teeth against the door! - Be quiet! Be quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

Man, I feel like a Christmas tree stand in these old Chinese rags.

Hey Anne! Take a look at the door.

Someone's watching us. Sneak over there.

How is your stool today?

There, you ass!

Have a nice flight!

And I always thought the Chinese only like rotten eggs...

Stop!

You, come here.

I won't bite.

Follow me.

Karen...

This woman is a stone-cold she-devil.

- Look at me. What's your name, girl? - Karen.

There's nothing to be afraid of. Pay attention.

I like you. And if you follow my orders, you will have a very nice life here.

Do you understand?

Dirty whore! So you prefer screwing men, huh?

Butnobody will have you!

If you don't play along, I'll mangle you until you're merely useful as a scarecrow.

Next time I'll cut even a little deeper.

Take your hands off there!

Lay down.

Tao-fu, I have to pick up the girl.

Boss tiao wants to see her!

Who told him she's here?

- Nobody. He just told me to pick her up. - You'll be sorry if you lie to me.

No, he doesn't know she's here.

I just came to warn you before he starts looking for her.

And you know well what happens then...

Ko Mei Mei!

Come here.

Don't you touch me!

- Thank you, ko Mei Mei. - How did the pirates capture you?

We were on our way to Australia. The British government hired us.

- They don't have enough women there. - Where do your parents live?

They're dead.

The others don't have parents either. That's why we emigrated.

On our way the pirates captured our ship.

They brought us here and sold us to your people.

Those bandits are not my people.

Then I don't understand why you're here.

Two years ago, my brother had to flee from the gang.

They took me instead.

I could have escaped a long time ago if I wanted to...

But it's better if I stay.

Only from here I can help ko-pao. He swore he would crush the gang.

Why doesn't the governor take action against the gang?

His officials are friends with tiao. He pays them a lot of hush money.

And the townsfolk are cowards. Only few of them fight on our side.

They're karate warriors and kung fu experts.

It won't be long until the battle starts!

Do you know kung fu?

Yes, my father was a teacher of karate and kung fu.

If you teach us we'd fight by your side.

You have to be patient. As long as you're here, I can protect you.

Nobody will dare to harm you because they fear the boss.

He kills everyone who doesn't obey him. Be patient, Karen!

- But what if they sell us? - That won't happen so soon.

My brother will save you before that happens. I'm sure.

Who's there?

It's me, ko Mei Mei.

Come in!

The gang's become even nastier and more reckless.

We have to strike fast.

- But we're hopelessly inferior to them. - No, our friends are ready, too.

They're just waiting for the signal.

Only ju-lau and boss tiao are serious opponents.

- I can defeat the rest with no sweat. - We have to save the girls as well.

- Three of them are almost kids. - Onto the roof!

Alright, but we have to wait for the right moment.

Send me a message when everything's ready.

There's someone on the roof. Right above you.

Slowly. Quietly!

Now!

Ko-pao!

Do you know him?

- He's one of boss tiao's men. - Uh-huh. So they're watching you.

Go back now. Send me a message if you need help.

But how?

The pigeon.

Here, take it.

Alright. If it returns with this red ribbon around its foot, I need your help.

Good.

Drop your garbage somewhere else! After him!

- What's in there? - There's blood!

Open it!

- Feng and wang! - Carry them inside.

That bastard! I will skin him alive.

- Ju-lau! - Yes?

Drag these bastards to me! I want to part their hair with my sword!

Very well! Let's go!

Tao-fu, where are the white girls and ko Mei Mei?

She's giving them dancing lessons.

- Boss tiao, we're having a dancing lesson. - Good, very nice.

- Go on. Don't mind me. - One, two, three.

Come to me! I'm short-sighted.

Oh, you have a nice grip, and a full blouse to boot.

Is that all natural?

You want to become an old maid, or why do you act so coy, huh?

- Ko Mei Mei. - Yes?

Take them to yin-po. She shall teach them some mattress karate.

- Or do you know a nicer sport? - No, boss.

You old scumbag! Don't show off so much, you limp-dick!

Ko Mei Mei!

I stepped on this spiky thing here, and it really hurt.

- We'll carry on tomorrow. You may go now. - Yes.

This is an olive pit.

- You do have olives at home, right? - Yes, I even ate some.

How much longer do you want to talk about these things?

You can use these pits as a weapon. You can actually shoot them.

- Shoot them? Really? - But how?

- Can you do it? - I'll show you.

Give me an olive, please.

- Here. - Thank you.

- What is she doing? - She's chewing the olive.

- That was incredible! - Did you see this?

Ko Mei Mei, I want to do this, too! You really have to teach me!

- And me too! - She shot it like right out of a pistol!

Alright. You know you're in great danger. You must learn to defend yourselves.

- But it's not easy. - No problem with our sturdy lungs!

- We need to learn some kung fu first. - We'll beat those guys to a pulp!

Good, but we have to be very careful. They may not see us doing it.

We'll start with the breathing exercises. Breathing right is the most important thing.

Then we'll blow away the Chinese wall!

And...

And...

And...

And...

Watch out! Stop it! Someone's coming!

- What's up? - Someone's coming!

- Clean it up, quick! - Come on, give me a hand!

Ko Mei Mei, the boss wants to see you.

- And you get ready for sex position education. - Yes.

Come with me!

Now you'll learn how Chinese men make love.

Lay down on the beds, and follow the moves of this girl.

First we'll practice the "Chinese pincers". Lift your left leg and move it in circles.

In circles...

Tao, split your fat ass some more! And move it in circles...

Now turn around. Open it, and close it!

Open it, and close it! Open it, and close it!

And now sit up. Turn your faces to me.

Just imagine sitting in front of your lover, stroking his... oh well, you know.

Up and down...

Up and down...

Longer and longer...

If all Chinese screw this laboriously, I don't get how they reached 600 millions.

- I'm about to doze off. - And lay down.

Oh, wait! I will teach you, you lazy slut!

Sit up!

And now for the "paradise-swing".

Lay on your belly, and cradle your man to the sweetest dreams.

- Hey, shouldn't we join in? - Sure, they need some practical lessons.

You don't belong here! Beat it, or I'll tell the boss!

You must obey, you horny bastards! Get out!

Out!

- You pig! - I'll beat the living daylights out of you!

Out!

- Come and get some! - No!

Suck on this!

Get out, you dirty pigs! Move it!

Get out of here now!

Don't you have any respect for the elderly, you pig?

You reek of garlic!

Don't play so rough! Hey you!

- Me? - Yes, come to me.

- Come on. - Oh yes...

- Come... - Yeah...

- Sniff on this! - Oh no!

Come on, girls, shoot! The left butt cheek!

- I can't hear anymore! - Up with your ass!

Throw me some, too!

Bullseye! Next one!

And another hit!

- I bet he feels sorry now! - Now the lateral thigh-toss.

Hey sweetie, don't fall asleep yet! I'm not finished! Yoo-hoo!

- He's knocked out, Brenda. - Our sincere condolences!

May I help you carry this?

Yes, you made good progress. But nobody may know about this.

- I have to kill them. - But why? They're done for now.

- Please don't do it! - But I have to kill them!

Who did this?

They tried to deflower Donna.

I couldn't stop them any other way. I had to kill them.

- Yin-po, is she telling the truth? - Yes, it went down like that.

I tried to chase them away, but they wouldn't listen.

They even hit me. There! Can you see the bruise?

Ko Mei Mei, these men deserved punishment, but you went too far.

- Next time, you leave that to me, got it? - Yes.

You won't make my soldiers horny anymore. Down into the cellar...

- Until you're being sold! - Very well!

- No, I don't want to! - Leave her alone, you ape!

Shut up!

Yes, if you drive my men that crazy, I'll surely get a good price for you...

Even if you're no virgins anymore.

I will ride you myself, and teach you some positions!

Listen, tiao.

- You'll gain nothing from that. - Why?

Because they have nothing to offer. Just look at them.

They just lie on the mattress like a board with a knothole.

I could offer you something completely different.

A good suggestion. You got some sweet little apples.

If only you weren't such a long hussy.

Alright then, but we'll take one of the little blondes along, to show her the ropes.

This one's perfect. I love your tiny mouse teeth.

- Ju-lau, these two are all yours. - Oh, thank you! Thank you!

Do whatever you like, but don't you dare to drill them.

Okay, boss! I'll just tickle them a little!

Come on, strip. We play without clothes.

But I'll get cold then.

Have no fear, kiddie, I won't let him touch you.

- And if he still wants to bed me? - Stop waffling on.

When he's out of my stranglehold, he won't have any steam left.

- But I'm scared. - Be quiet.

You... come this way.

If I ever get out of here, I'll scratch your ugly mug!

Then I better trim your nails now.

Yeah, shake it real nice! Make your balls bounce!

They're jumping right out of your shirt!

You mean devil!

This makes me drool all over myself!

Yeah! When I see your titties shiver, my pants begin to quiver!

Yeah... there!

Yeah...

- Just like that... - You pig!

I want to see her. Open up.

Yes, ko Mei Mei.

Calm down.

Ko Mei Mei, where's my sister?

Don't you worry about her. She'll be alright.

Come on, get in there!

- Don't push. Come on, girl. - Go down there. Hurry up.

- Stop crying. Everything is alright. - What have they done to you?

The guy tried to teach me the "Chinese wall" position...

- But he fell off the ladder in round two. - I want to get out of here!

Stop crying. Be quiet. You have to pull yourself together now.

You mustn't give up now!

We have to train hard to improve your kung fu.

You're going to be sold soon. On that day, we'll escape.

But you said it would take a long time until you've mastered the arts of kung fu.

Right. That's why each one of you will learn only one exercise.

- It can be done in just a few days. - Nonsense!

I have my own way to deal with those guys.

Can you show us?

Okay.

- Who knocked? - I did!

Well, how do you like my little steam hammer?

- He won't ask stupid questions anymore. - That was very good. Guard the door.

And we'll start with the training.

Come on in! Come on in!

The auction is about to begin!

Five nice white girls are waiting for their new master!

Come on in, please!

- Are any virgins among them? - Yes! You have my guarantee!

- Step inside, it's about to begin. - Good evening.

- Greetings, tsian-wang! Please! - Thank you.

- If they're not overly expensive, I'll buy one. - Me too!

- The girls are of exquisite beauty. - I hope so. I'm very excited.

I hope they're not only white but also pretty.

Very pretty! Guaranteed!

You see? They're real beauties.

Yes, yes...

We'll play along for a while.

Keep smiling...

This is Anna, British, 18 years old, and a virgin.

The lowest bid is 150 tael of silver.

180!

- The current bid is 180. - My offer is 250!

- 250. - 300!

- 300. - 350!

- 400 and a goat! - The last bid is 400 and a goat.

Any higher offers?

Sold for 400 and a goat.

Donna, 16 years old, and a virgin.

You're dismissed.

Two hot knockers...!

- Lowest bid is 300 tael! - And she's worth it!

- I want her! - My offer is 320!

- 320! - I'm offering 350!

350!

This is a dozen of diamonds and emeralds. Is that enough?

- Of course, she's yours. - Thank you, tiao-che!

Celia, Scottish, 18 years old, and a virgin!

- Ah! She doesn't look stingy at all! - No, no, not at all.

Very nice!

This turns me into a giant buck rabbit!

- The lowest bid is 200 tael of silver! - 220!

- 230! - 230.

- 240! - 240.

250!

- You said 250? - Yes!

- My offer is 280! - He drives a hard bargain.

The current bid is 280! Who offers more?

- 300 is my offer! - What?

- He wants her for free... - 320!

320.

- 400! - 500!

- 600! - 700!

- 800! - 900!

- 1.000! - 1.100!

- 1.200! - 1.300!

- 1.400! - I... I... I... I offer 2.000!

Sold!

- She's pretty. - Not my taste.

Stubborn as a mule!

- Go on stage! Dance! - Don't create so much wind with your fan...

- Or I'll catch a cold! - You must dance!

I got to have her. Excuse me... may I?

No, I will not dance, you bitch!

Uh-huh, yes, yes...

Is that necessary? The older they are, the hornier they get.

- Cut it out, fatso, you're disgusting. - You're my favorite woman.

Alright, fatso. But you better don't cheat on me.

- I'm very jealous. - 2.000 for each funbag.

- Sold! - You hear that?

- 2.000 each! - She's enchanting! I'll carry her with my hands.

- Your hands are too small for that! - You can't even reach her breasts!

She was real small just a moment ago! You grew up fast!

You're a nice little fella. I will always look up to you with pride.

Come on, fatso, we'll vanish into thin air.

Man, you won't survive her! She'll kill you!

Karen from London, 20 years old.

- The lowest bid is 250 tael. - I'm offering 300!

400!

- 500! - My offer is 700!

Ko Mei Mei, I've been in love with you for such a long time.

- Kiss me! - No, not here.

Let's go to my room. We don't want to lose any time.

- Let's go! - But somewhere else. Into the cellar.

- Nobody will bother us there. - Into the cellar? Are you serious?

- Yes. - Yes! Let's go... into the cellar!

Ko Mei Mei, tell me your favorite position.

You don't have one? Then I will choose one for us, okay?

Oh, no. 37! I like that one! You too?

Please, don't do that. Look into your book.

I don't like being watched.

- Alright, as you wish. - You better study the details.

Ah, left leg over right shoulder.

Ko Mei Mei, are you ready?

Come to me, yes?

Now I know exactly how to do it.

Come on, now. Or I might forget it again.

Hey...

Ko Mei Mei, where the hell are you?

What a blasted slut!

Just you wait!

Ko Mei Mei!

Come back here!

Guards, get me out of here! Guards!

- Be seeing you. Good night. - Good night, ju-lau.

Good night, sir.

- Good night. - Goodbye.

Can't you be more careful? Get out of my way!

You should save your strength for something better.

Yeah...

Let's go inside. Do you want your room, or mine?

Better not in the house. Tiao might see us.

- But where else? - Over there, on the porch.

Alright then, let's go.

- Quick. We don't have much time. - Yeah...

Take off your clothes. Lay down.

Yeah, like that...

Now we'll have a ton of fun!

Stick that up your ass!

Not so rough!

- I got you! - You wish!

I didn't spend so much money for playing strange games like that!

I'm glad you're here, ko Mei Mei. Please help me.

This girl is really vicious. I wouldn't have bought her if I'd known that!

Please tell her to let go of me.

- The others were carried away in litters. - I hope we still find them.

I know their buyers, and where they live.

- Quick! - Good.

Karen, come here!

This way!

Run!

We have to hurry!

- Stop! Private function! No entrance! - I don't think so!

And... knockdown!

Trot faster! I'd be faster than that on foot.

The target's always the little guys...

Don't make a peep or you're dead.

What's going on? Oh, it's you!

Never get on a litter. I'm totally sea sick.

That fat pig deserves punishment. Come on, let's follow them.

Hey! Be careful! Do you have to step into every pothole?

Stop! Stop! I'm getting really dizzy!

Who allowed you to carry me around? Stop it!

This is a speed limit zone! Stop! Stop!

- You wanted to get me wet! - You need a piece of soap?

Watch out, or the crocodiles will bite off your wee-wee!

- Get me out of here! It's so cold! - The guy who bought Celia lives nearby!

- I... I... I just want to stroke you. - I don't like you! You have dreadful teeth!

You will get used to it.

Come on, be nice.

Cr... or... or... crap.

I... I... I dropped something.

I'm going out for a second to pick it up.

See you in a bit.

What a drag. You drop down every time I want to go to bed.

Oh wait, I'll teach you...!

Here it is!

Celia!

Celia!

Celia!

Celia!

- There she is! - Hey! Celia!

Come here! We're here! Hurry!

- Did he get cheeky already? - Yes, but he went out for a moment.

- Hide, and wait for me. - Yes, will do.

One thing's for sure:

I will make her... happy!

Alright, honey-pie, now he's standing.

Who put the pisspot there?

- This is going to be one hell of a night! - Stop, you stay outside.

Is the bride ready, yes?

- Show her who's the master in the bedroom! - Yes, yes, friends, I'll manage!

She's a little too tall.

Alone at last!

I still can't believe you're all mine.

You really are as beautiful as you're tall. Oh, my kitty cat! A kissy on the nosy?

The size of a guy's nose equals his Johnny.

- Oh, my poor nose! - And now for a short sex massage!

You're way too tense, man!

You need to be fit for love! Yay!

- I'd ratherjoin a monastery! - Okay, then I'll massage your arms...

So you're able to hold your hymnbook.

Don't just lay there like a wet bag! We haven't even started!

You're still way too stiff! I have to beat you soft and tender first! Yeah!

- You hear? He's doing her good! - Mr. Pu-pan knows what he wants.

Aren't you feeling well, pu-pan?

- Nonsense! He's just looking for his innocence. - Help me! Help!

- Keep her away from me! - What are you gawking at?

- That's no good behavior. - This is my wedding! Get lost!

Hands off!

- Leave my wife alone! - Oh yeah, let's party!

This is a wedding, not a funeral! Come here, you!

- Ah, she stole my manhood! - We party the way I like it!

Come to me, boy! Want some bacon?

Where is my husband? It's so boring to party all alone.

- Hey, it's time to go to beddybyes, my dear! - No, I had it with beds!

- Don't be shy. - Oh no, no!

And now my favorite position!

If you can make love, you can also fly.

Now we extend the bedroom a little. Fuckin' new constructions.

Ko-pao! My brother is here. This is my brother ko-pao.

- Good evening. - Where are the others?

- Still with their buyers. - No, I'm here.

Had I known that you're so lame, I'd have partied some more with my fatso.

He was really sad when I had to leave so early.

- Brenda, this is my brother ko-pao. - Finally a real man.

- How did you get rid of the little guy? - I made him even smaller.

He wasn't totally unlikable, just a little pushy. So I threw him right through the wall.

- She was sold to li-chung. - The bandits know about my old cabin.

Hide in the abandoned village to the south of the town, and wait there for me.

- Alright, let's go. - Ko-pao, she's my little sister.

- Don't worry, I'll bring her back. - Come on, Karen. Hurry up!

Don't be afraid. You won't be harmed.

I just like it when girls are being undressed this way.

Hey, what are you doing here? Get lost!

Stop! One more step...

Freeze!

- Let the girl go! - Kill him!

Out with him!

What do you want from me?

- Tell them to let the girl go! - But she's mine! I bought her!

Here, I'll buy her back. Will you let her go now?

Alright... I don't mind! Let go of the girl!

Stop them! Don't let them escape!

Give me the girl back, or I'll have you killed!

- Come on, go get her! - Yes, sir!

Tiao-che! Li-chung and the others are outside.

They want the money for the girls back.

This virgin is a devil.

- Just look how she messed me up. - Yes, it's horrible.

She threw me off a bridge. My legs are broken.

She ruined my honeymoon with her behavior.

Look at me, tiao-che. Give me my beautiful teeth back.

I will punish them for everything they did to you.

I'll have them skinned alive!

- Ju-lau! - Yes, boss?

Search them and bring them back. Now!

- Follow me! - I just want my teeth back...

You're awake?

I... I can't sleep.

Why not?

- I was thinking. - About what?

About you.

You already saved my life twice in the very last moment.

It was my duty.

But you risked your life for me.

- I also wanted to tell you something else. - Yes?

I've fallen in love with you.

Already back then, at tiao's place.

Tell them to come here as soon as possible. Tiao's gang will find us soon.

I'll be quick.

- Avoid bigger streets. They watch them. - I'll be careful.

I will also try to find a boat that takes you back to england.

I'll be back in three days.

Use the time for training.

Nobody can help you when tiao's gang finds you.

Let's do the first lesson again.

In synch with my count. Attention.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four... five!

Good.

Jump!

Good. And once more!

You have to hit the red marks precisely.

Ready?

Attention.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Five!

Basic position.

Line!

Wedge!

Jump!

Jump!

Kill!

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Five...

Six...

Seven...

Eight...

And back down again.

One...

Two... three...

If we keep on doing this, I will get flat feet.

It is important. Carry on.

Three...

Four... five...

Six...

Let me hit him first! I can't stand these sad geezers.

Okay, and now one in the back to maintain your symmetry. Oh yeah!

And now bring him to me! Yeah... yeah!

Finally something between the legs, now that my honeymoon was such a sad affair.

Men are getting weaker and weaker these days.

His head must be made of rubber - he bounces back all by himself.

Okay, and now let the poor boy alone. He needs a bath to freshen up.

And take off!

I just hope he can swim, or he will run aground.

- Would you like something to eat? - Yes, fried noodles and a bowl of tea.

Coming right up. Fried noodles and a cup of tea.

- Hey... is that her? - Yes.

Bring her the tea, I already poisoned it.

Here you go. The tea.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

If this puddle wasn't so soiled, I'd swim back to england.

Watch out! There are bandits on the shore. Let's pretend we haven't seen them.

- Shall we eat them up? - Yeah!

Let them come closer. Stay calm.

Check this out: Five thirsty foals at the watering hole.

I think we should show them our spurs.

- Quick! - You can have the tall one.

- No, I want the blondie on the right! - No, that one's mine!

- We could throw a dice, boys! - Yeah, we'll do that!

Put your knives away, you'll just cut your fingers.

You better get lost, boys, or we'll cut you somewhere else.

Look, how they're shaking!

If you don't drop your swords, we'll kill ourselves!

Stop it! Don't do it! Don't be afraid, we won't harm you!

Okay, boys, drop the swords. Come on! Come on now!

You see? We're dropping our swords. Put yours away, too.

Yeah!

- That's the girls! - Turn around, and pretend to hug them.

Hey, you're not supposed to lay them, you must capture them!

Let's join in! Now it's our turn!

- We want a piece of them, too! - You can't screw a poor workmate!

But they're dead!

Come on! Skin him alive!

Come get some! Take this, and that!

Yes, I'm not only perfect in bed!

Wedge!

Ready?

Jump!

Jump!

Kill!

Line!

Wedge!

Jump!

Well... now I got you!

Here's a proposal for you: If you surrender, the girls will live.

If not, I will cut them to tiny little pieces!

- Give me another drop! - Today you may booze 'til you drop!

Where the hell is ko Mei Mei with pao's friends?

These guys are totally drunk, and I'm so afraid...

- That they will come for us. - Some day, you'll drown in your own tears.

They think they're great heroes now.

If I wasn't tied up, I'd waste them with my bare hands.

Ko Mei Mei will be back soon. I'm sure she and our friends are very near.

Drink your dishwater yourself, you repugnant dwarf! Beat it!

Look at these legs!

Let me get a piece of her!

- Pass me the torch, I'll heat her up! - To get you a little hotter!

- Show her how it's done! - Drink up, it tastes good!

- Leave the girls alone, you gutless dogs! - Did he say something?

I think so! Just ask him!

Speak distinctly if you want to say something, or keep your trap shut!

- Yeah! - Get lost, you bastard! You have bad breath!

Hands off! Leave me alone!

Look, the poor fella's an orphan. Can't you give him your breast?

Leave the lizard out of this!

Or animal welfare will come after my ass again!

- I want her in my house! - Yes, boss.

- Get out now! - Yes, boss.

This is good! It relaxes the muscles, yes!

Hoch auf dem gelben wagen...

Brother!

- It's about time. - They captured me.

- Are our friends here, too? - They will be in a few hours.

- Tiao took Karen into his house. - We need to get her out of there.

Yes, come on!

Ko Mei Mei, hurry!

Yeah...

Alright, boys, let's get down to business!

Come here, you...

- Anyone need a light? - No, I don't smoke!

Beat it!

Hey, come here, come here!

Turn around, I'd like to take a picture of you! Watch out for the birdie.

Cuckoo!

Cuckoo!

Ugh, you're a no-talent.

Catch it!

Don't splash me!

Come on, catch me!

No, you catch me.

Ko Mei Mei, I don't know how to thank you.

You saved us. You helped us.

Oh yes.

- I wish you a good journey home. - Thank you, ko Mei Mei.

- Farewell. - Goodbye, Karen.

- Goodbye, my little one. - Farewell.

Goodbye and thank you for everything!

- Goodbye! - Farewell!

- Farewell! - Have a nice trip!

- Donna, come aboard! - Farewell, Donna.

- I wish you all the best. - Goodbye!

Have a nice trip!

- Goodbye! - Farewell!

- Goodbye! - Farewell!

- Ko-pao! - Goodbye!

Donna, come back! Where are you going?

Ko-pao!

Karen, I'm not coming with you!

I'll stay here!

- Goodbye! - All the best, Donna!

Farewell!

- And always keep your tail up! - I wish you many children!

Brenda, check out the captain.

That's a real man.

Tighten the sheets!

Finally something really tasty to nibble on.