Original subtitles

Yo, over here.

Yeah.

OK, do it again.

Come on. Come on.

No.

Ernest.

Ernest, pass me the ball.

Ernest, pass it to me, OK?

Ernest, no.

I know what you're thinking.

Don't shoot in.

Ernest, you better just pass me the ball.

Ernest, no.

Don't shoot it.

Ernest, don't shoot it!

I like an aggressive fish.

Ah!

Ah!

Oh, uh.

Ah!

Oh!

Are you OK?

I'm really sorry.

I can grab your groceries.

Ah!

Oh!

You all right?

Ma'am, are you OK?

Yeah, baby.

Yeah!

See that?

The grace.

The agility.

That's it.

That's basketball.

It's-- it's like a romance with the ball.

It's-- it's like a dance with the hoop.

Know what I mean?

So I guess you think you can take

it to the hoop now, huh, Ernie.

Yo, 'cause you think you could jam like that.

Don't get him started, all right.

Look.

If-- if you fellas would just give me a chance,

I could show you.

I'm a player.

I-- I'm a jock.

I'm in the zone.

You're in the zone all right, Ernest.

Yeah.

The twilight zone.

Yeah.

Ernest.

Brother, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, Ernest.

- Man. - You're short.

Short.

You remember Yoda?

Well, you kinda Yoda-ish.

And you're clumsy, Ernest.

Very clumsy.

And you're not just white, baby.

You-- you're whiter than white.

You a redneck!

Right in the back.

Hey, guys. Guys.

Guys, that's enough. - You crazy, Ernest.

You crazy. - Let's go.

You too, Ernest.

All right, guys. Come on.

We got work to do now. - Hey, fellas.

Last chance to buy some lottery tickets.

Eh.

You can win lots of money.

Stay away from me, woman.

Aw, come on.

Uh-uh, baby.

No way.

Not on that scam.

Hi, Erma.

Hi.

Snap out of it, man.

She is way out of your league.

Stop whining.

OK.

Let's wrap her up, folks.

Last autographed ball is closing tomorrow.

We gotta be in LA for a Lakers game.

I'm so sorry.

Bye bye.

Thank you.

Bye bye.

Make sure he's on time.

Yes sir, Mr. Moloch.

Hey, big guy.

Good job.

Nice shoes, huh, kid?

Yeah.

If I had those shoes--

If you had those shoes, you'd have the edge.

Everybody plays, but the winners, they have the edge.

Really?

I'd give anything to have those shoes.

Well, now you're talking, kid.

Desire is 90% of the game.

If you want something, you just gotta go for it.

Yeah.

If I just had those shoes.

We're out of here, Barry.

Don't forget the alarm when you're done.

Right, chief.

What's up, Quincy?

Later on, chief.

Hi, dad.

Quincy.

Get on home.

See you at the house.

Gentlemen.

It's show time. - All right.

Aw yeah.

Here we go, baby. Here we go.

Let's hustle.

City League tournament starts tomorrow.

Mr. Moloch and the other scouts will be watching us.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

Let's do this, baby.

Let's do this.

Uh.

Let's do this.

Uh Let's do this, baby.

This is your medicine woman, Dr. Love,

on the mighty WUSH.

Oh, my Nubian sister has a voice from heaven.

I'd like to send this one out

to Laquita and Tommy, Chantelle and Hakeem,

and to the players on the Clean Sweep.

Woo!

Come on, baby. Two.

Two.

Two.

Here we go, baby.

Let's do it again!

Ha.

Two, baby.

Let's get a three point Willie!

Come on, you guys.

Hit me.

Hit me.

Hit me.

I'm in the open.

O-- open desert.

Big sky country.

Hit me. I'm the baby.

I'm the boy. Hit me.

Yeah.

Good play, OK.

Here I am.

Over here.

Yeah, good.

Come on.

Hit me.

Willie.

Up here.

Hit me. Come on, Willie.

I'll drop it in the pocket.

Hit me.

Up here.

Ah!

I'm driving toward the glass!

Uh-oh.

Hit me.

I can't miss from up here.

Hit me.

I'm air Ernest.

No.

Spider like reflexes.

Keep it up, Keep it up.

Wait, TJ. Watch it.

Man, are you crazy?

Mr. Ellis paid a fortune for this sculpture.

Now, check it.

Mr. Ellis need to get his money back.

Yeah.

Come on.

Come on.

Ernest, no.

Do not shoot the ball.

Don't shoot it, Ernest.

Don't be stupid.

Ah!

Shut off the pressure and turn the alarms off.

46, please respond.

Everybody's been evacuated, so everything's clean here,

but the sprinkler systems need to be properly installed,

you got me?

OK.

Mr. Worth, we are looking at major damage here,

and I want to know what happened,

and I want to know now.

Right now.

Yes, sir, Mr. Ellis.

You see, we were--

Uh, it was rats.

Giant mall rats.

Thousands of them, swarming all over the place.

I would've stopped them, but I--

Mall rats.

Or maybe it was aliens disguised as rats.

Thousands of them, swarming all over the place.

Silence.

Mr. Worth, the Clean Sweep is your company.

This is your responsibility.

Yours.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Ellis, it won't happen again.

You bet it won't.

I'll see that it doesn't, Mr. Ellis.

It was my fault, Mr. Ellis.

Barry told me to watch what I was doing.

I'll pay for the damage.

With what?

Well you can take it out of my pay.

- His pay. - Fine.

Tell legal to garnish his wages for the rest of his life.

Thank you, Mr. Ellis.

You won't be sorry.

I believe you gentlemen have some mopping up to do.

Whoa!

Watch your step, Mr. Ellis.

You didn't have to take the heat on this, man.

Yeah, I mean, sticking your neck out like that,

that's serious biz, homie.

Thanks, Ernest.

Yeah, for real.

You stepped up, Ernest.

Totally uncharacteristic of your kind.

- We owe you one, man. - Yeah.

We owe you, Ernest, so if there's

anything we can do to repay you, you just let us know,

all right? - Yeah.

Well, there is one thing you could do.

Sure, man.

What?

You could let me be on the basketball team.

No.

No, no, no.

You tripping.

You definitely tripping.

We think not.

Well, I just wanna play basketball with you guys.

You know, roundball, hoops, hit the hardwood.

A cog in the lean, mean basketball machine.

Know what I mean?

No offense, Ernest, but, you see,

we're a well-oiled machine.

We've been playing together for like, what, 12 years?

- Five. - Nine.

- Seven, man. - Two.

I just wanted to play basketball with you guys.

You know, I just, like, wanted to be one of the guys.

Hey. Don't even go there, Ernest.

Please.

Uh, look, guys.

Um, come here.

All right, guys.

We do owe Ernest.

But he'll never play with us.

He'll just dress out, OK?

He just wants to be part of the group.

You heard him.

Think of him as a mascot.

A mascot?

Why can't we have a smart mascot?

Yeah.

Like a goldfish.

Because we owe him.

All right, Ernest.

You can dress out.

But you're gonna sit on the bench, all right?

Do you understand?

Oh, thank you, Barry.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm your humble and obedient servant.

Oh, thank you so much.

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm telling you right now, Ernest.

You better not make us look bad either.

That's right. 'Cause even when we lose, we look good.

Yeah.

And we do not lose.

Ever.

No.

Ernest, Ernest, he's our man.

If he can't do it, no one can.

Yay!

Hey!

TJ!

Are you ready?

You know I am, homeslice.

What?

I said homeslice, you know I'm ready.

Uh!

How about it, Walter?

You down for me, brother?

I'm with you, black man.

Don't even worry about it now.

Ah-huh.

Worry is a drone emotion, my brother.

Now, I've always said that. - Step.

- Tommy T. - Mm.

What's it gonna be?

Nothing but hoops and alley-oops.

Let's do it.

Ah.

The men's locker room.

Tank of the titans.

Temple of testosterone.

I'll bet you guys are male bonding as we speak.

Right arm.

Out of state.

Be cool, Ernest.

Frozen.

Ernest.

Grab a locker, man. - Yeah.

In another room.

Don't come here with all that tripping, now, Ernest.

Me, tripping? I'm not tripping.

I'm on solid ground.

See, that's what I'm talking about.

What you talking about, some kind of solid ground?

TJ. TJ.

- But he tripping, though. - I know.

Ernest, there's your uniform.

I'm going to warm up.

My uniform.

This is the proudest moment of my adult life.

You must've had less of a life than I thought.

Lost the hat, Ernest.

It's probably bolted to his skull.

Yo, TJ.

We out there, all right, man?

All right, man.

I'm gonna catch up. Hey, yo, Ernest.

Check it out. Take your time.

You got all the time. Like about an hour.

This is Dr. Love, your medicine woman

of the air on WUSH "whoosh."

Tonight, I'm broadcasting live from the first round

of the City League tournament.

Clean Sweep and Crater Construction

will have the tip off right after this brief message

from Lonnie's One Stop market, the place

to go when you're in the know.

Yeah, so, uh, tell me, Dr. Love.

How do you feel about unrequited love?

I mean, isn't it bad for your health?

Well, you see, baby, I wouldn't know about that.

My love never goes unrequited.

- Excuse me, brother. - Oh yeah.

Excuse me.

Mhm.

Don't play yourself like that.

Oh, so fine perfection of a black woman.

If beauty were a minute, you'd be an hour.

If beauty were flower, you'd be a rose.

If beauty were an automobile, you'd be a solid gold Rolls

Royce Classic.

Girl, sign my head.

I will never wash again.

I didn't think you ever had.

Oh, please.

Baby, go easy on my man.

- Oh, she wants me. - Oh, yeah.

You smooth, baby. - She don't got to be so--

You smooth.

This is Dr. Love, and we'll have the tip off right

after a brief message from Elton and John's auto repair.

Take your time on it.

Good shot.

Good shot.

All right, guys.

Huddle up.

Now, watch that big cornbread looking brother

over there setting picks.

Now, when that happens, TJ, you switch with me.

- Uh, Barry. - Not now, Ernest.

Walter.

Look, you can't muscle that big, ugly forward, man.

Barry.

You, man, if big foot even tries it,

I'm out on that brother. Just be cool.

Now, Willie.

You got to hit the three tonight.

- If I believe, I can achieve. - Barry.

Not now, Ernest.

Cause that'll free up Tommy T in the lane.

All right.

Now, if you can hit it, I'll hit the three.

I'll be there, all right? - Barry.

What, Ernest?

Uh, I made lemonade for the whole team.

With real lemons. It's not the mix.

Not the powder. It's the real stuff.

See?

It's still got lemon peels floating in it.

K. Thanks, Ernest.

Everybody in here. All right.

Now, let's do this.

Clean Sweep!

Go team.

It's right over here if you want it.

The Clean Sweep take the floor here at the City Memorial

Gym, and we are ready to go.

All right, fellas.

I want a good clean game.

Watch the rough stuff and the handshakes, OK?

Ready?

Freeze.

Action photos for everybody's locker.

Ernest.

I want you to sit down on the bench and don't get up.

You hear me?

Over here on our side?

Yes, over here on our side.

Oh, sorry.

There's bad blood between these two teams.

Last year's game ended in a bench-clearing brawl.

Let me take it, Barry.

Let's go, baby.

Yeah, Sweep.

Yes!

The Clean Sweep are playing their hearts out.

They have the stuff it takes to win the City League tournament.

And there goes Barry Worth again to the hoop!

Yes!

Go, dad!

Barry, Barry, he's our man.

If he can't do it, TJ can.

TJ, TJ, he's our man.

If he can't do it, Walter can.

Yay!

Give me a W!

What are you doing?

Man, just look at him.

I don't care.

Uh, give me an L. Give me another L. Yay!

Give me a W!

Give me an A! - Man, where's your head?

Come on.

Uh, give me an L. The Clean Sweep can't seem

to keep their mind on the game.

Their cheerleader seems to be distracting them.

Barry, Barry, he's our man.

If he can't do it. TJ can.

Push up, TJ. Push up, baby.

TJ, TJ.

He's our man!

If he can't do it, Walter can!

Give me a G!

Give me an L!

Barry, Barry.

He's our man.

What a chump team.

Give me another L!

Time out, Jake! Ernest!

Give me an E!

Give me a cursive R!

Ernest.

Yeah?

Sit down and shut up!

Go team.

Heh.

Come on, man.

Let's get some D.

The Clean Sweep have gotten

things straightened out now, and everything

seems to be on course.

And there's another two!

Two, four, six, eight.

Who do we appreciate?

Something I said?

Now that the Clean Sweep have had their huddle,

we're back to regular play.

That way, Barry!

Yeah, baby.

Here we go.

The Clean Sweep are leading going into the third period,

and they look too fine!

Dr. Love.

This one's for you, baby.

Oo hoo!

Now Willie has one going on for yours truly.

You showboat like that again, I'm

gonna put Ernest in for you.

- Oh, that's cold, Barry. - I'm serious.

That's cold.

The ball is inbounded and the Sweeps steal the ball.

There's the pass to Walter, then to TJ.

The Sweep are trying to work it in.

Barry Worth takes the shot, and there's three points!

Switch. Switch!

T!

T!

The Craters take it down the court, and boom!

There's two!

Clean Sweep!

Clean Sweep!

Clean Sweep!

Play ball!

Let's go!

Let's go!

It's close.

Way too close to be comfortable.

The Clean Sweep are looking like dust mops right now.

That's what I thought.

That's what I thought.

OK, guys.

Huddle up.

Willie.

Don't foul.

Your man does not miss from the free throw line.

Barry.

Walter.

If we get the ball, I'm gonna hit you at half court.

Dish off to TJ. TJ.

Barry.

Don't take the three.

Take it all the way to the cup, baby.

Barry.

- Draw the foul. - Barry.

What?

I-- I just want you to know, if you need a rest,

I'm fresh as a daisy.

My fingers are just aching for that high arching three

pointer.

Ah, that's OK, Ernest.

Save you for over time.

Shrewd.

Very strategic.

Well, I'll be your secret weapon.

I'll just sit over here on the bench like a quiet cobra,

throbbing with power.

It's anybody's game.

It's been a touch and go game since the start,

but the Clean Sweep are playing like the true athletes

they are, and I definitely like true blue athletes.

Beautiful.

The Clean Sweep leading by one with only 10 seconds left.

The Crater Construction work the ball,

and the clock is ticking down.

Here they come.

This is critical for Crater Construction.

Technical foul. Sweep.

Two shots.

No, no, ref.

He's not with us. He's a mascot.

He's not even from this planet.

He's wearing your uniform.

That's a technical foul called on the Clean Sweep.

That's it, Ernest.

Come on, man. - Hey, no.

Yo, TJ.

Come on. Let's go!

It's a technical. Let's go.

What is he doing playing with the balls?

That's all right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah!

And there's the buzzer.

In a bizarre ending, the Clean Sweep lose by one.

But it's a double elimination tournament, so don't

throw in the towel yet.

Good night from WUSH.

You made us look bad.

I'm sorry.

I--

I told you, Barry.

Are you just lucky, or is that a God given talent?

It was an accident.

Save it.

The towel--

Ernest.

Even I find this irritating.

I'm sorry.

Barry--

I know, Ernest.

You let me down, man.

That's all.

I gave you a uniform and you lost the game for us,

and you didn't even play.

I've got more lemonade, and-- and I had double

prints made of those pictures.

I--

Gosh.

I just wanted to be one of the guys.

Part of the team.

Maybe go out for a pizza after the big game,

talk about super plays.

Talk stats and belch out loud.

That kind of a thing.

But I guess it was never meant to be.

Why me, Lord? Why me?

Good question.

Why you?

Who are you?

I'm the archangel of basketball.

Angel?

Angel?

You mean like the little guy with wings

and the bow and arrow.

No, man.

That's Cupid.

This has got to be a mistake.

I got the wrong dude.

Wait a minute.

The archangel of basketball.

Oh no.

This is it.

The big one.

I've committed a grievous sin against basketball

that you've been sent here to take me out of the big game,

for good.

One technical foul and I'm a dead man.

Get a grip, man.

You're not dead.

God doesn't take people out for a technical foul.

Look.

How long have you been playing ball?

Hour, hour and a half.

I was supposed to deliver you a pair of shoes,

but these definitely aren't your shoes.

All right, all right.

I'll give him the shoes.

Here.

Enjoy the shoes.

Thanks.

Remember one thing, Ernest.

Don't misuse the shoes.

Right.

I wonder where Barry and them got that guy.

OK.

You can come out now.

Ha ha.

Very funny.

I get it.

Team initiation.

Yeah.

Now it's time to blindfold old Ernest and paddle him.

Well, fun's over.

I'm out of here.

I'm leaving.

Ah!

Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Let's just go through one shoe at a time, shall we?

OK.

Thank you.

Clutch.

No, no.

No, I'll steer.

Let me steer. No, clutch.

No, clutch.

Don't stop, brake.

No, clutch.

Brake, brake, brake.

Stop. Brake.

Clutch.

OK, out of the car.

Out.

Will you guys make up your mind?

Who's gonna drive?

You operate the gas, you operate the brake,

but not at the same time.

Ugh.

Come on, you guys.

Don't get ahead of me.

Come on.

I feel like I'm in a Gene Kelly movie.

No.

Hold on, you guys, I'll let you in.

I know the guy that lives here.

Come on.

I'm gonna have to paint that door.

I know the three of us have had a long and tiring day,

and I, for one, could use a little shut eye.

With your cooperation--

Thank you.

Ah.

Well, now I'll just pop these puppies off, and--

Stay ON.

Look, you TWO.

I'm going to sleep now and my legs

are going to sleep with me.

You understand?

Thank you.

Ah!

Ow!

Oh.

Wow.

If I just had those shoes.

Hey, boy.

I say, I say boy.

Hey dad.

Hey, dad.

Yeah.

Can I have some new shoes?

Son, I just bought you new basketball

shoes two months ago.

Yeah, but I want some new ones.

Utopian Flights.

They've gone all over the mall.

Those $250 pair of showboat shoes.

You think they're gonna make you a better player, don't you?

No, but they'll give me an edge.

An edge?

You know what gives you an edge, little man?

Huh?

Hard work.

Hard work and practice.

Yeah right.

So you worked hard.

You played every day of your life, I bet.

Yeah, guess I have.

So where did it get you?

Listen.

I made a mistake, all right?

I could've played college ball and I could've gone pro.

Listen to me when I'm talking to you.

But I messed up.

I dropped out of school, and I didn't get an education,

and that was it.

So because you messed up, I can't get the shoes?

No.

No.

Because I messed up, you can't mess up.

Thinking you need things you don't.

You're listening to the wrong people, son.

When you're older, you'll understand.

When I'm older, I'll end up just like you.

Now let's go to our sports center.

And the Hornets announced today

that they will play a very unusual

exhibition game in two weeks.

The general manager revealed plans

to play an exhibition game against the winner

of a City League tournament.

Some of the City League players have

got pro league caliber talent, but these boys

don't play for money.

They play for blood.

The NBA meets the streets, and I'll be there with bells on.

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

The Hornets are gonna play the City League champs.

Hey!

I'll finally get a chance to play in front of the pros.

I gotta call the guys.

Jackie.

Jackie!

Hey, hey!

Chance to play the pros, man.

Oh yeah, baby.

And I'm finally gonna get some competition.

Why y'all so chipper?

We ain't gonna make it.

- What do you mean? - Yo.

What's up with you, Barry, huh?

Did you forget that 150 pound scrawny, Gilligan looking dodo

bird you saddled us up with?

I can deal with him.

Yeah?

Like you dealt with him last night?

Where is Ernest, anyway?

I guess the brother's afraid to show, huh?

Yeah.

Well, he better be if he know what's good for him.

Right behind you.

I'm right with you.

Hang on.

OK.

I'm here.

Now what?

Come on.

Be reasonable.

It's dark, it's cold, and I--

I've gotta go to work.

OK.

Ya ha!

I don't know how many more of these personal appearances

they want you to--

Excuse me.

I'll catch up.

Well, hello there, Ms. Terradiddle.

Hi.

You wanna buy a lottery ticket?

You can make a lot of money.

Oh, really?

Tell me.

How does it work?

Well, You see the little waxy bit here?

Well, if you rub off two in a row,

you get lots and lots of money.

And if you rub off three in a row, you get even more money!

Want one?

Ernest.

Where have you been?

Sorry, Barry.

Sorry, fellas.

I-- I just had a-- a little trouble

getting out of bed safely.

Yo.

Yo, fellas.

Will you check out homeboy's feet?

Yo, Ernest.

You didn't pay $250 for those shoes, did you, man?

It seems as though Ernest's economics have

been significantly advanced.

Uh, no.

Actually, somebody gave them to me.

I can't believe it.

Heh.

A grown man.

You're as bad as my boy.

All right, let's get started.

We got a half an hour if we're gonna get out

of here in time for the game.

Not tonight, you're not.

Hey, Sarge.

Uh, we got started a little early.

We got a game in the City League tournament.

Mr. Ellis said if this place doesn't shine like new,

you guys are looking for a new gig,

and I don't think the City League pays its players.

Got you covered, Sarge.

Like you had me covered the other night, right?

I'm going to eat, and when I get back, if you're not here

and this mall isn't shining, don't bother coming in tomorrow

because you've lost your contract.

Do you understand, Barry?

Yes, Sarge.

I'm out of here.

I ain't gotta take this.

There's a million jobs better than this.

Yeah, you can do anything you want, TJ,

but I got a wife and a kid. - Yeah.

We're gonna miss the game. What about that?

What? You wanna forfeit?

This is totally unexpected.

I've got an idea.

I'll stay.

I'll finish up.

Your ideas are getting better, my brother.

Yeah.

We'd be killing two birds with one stone.

Yeah he stays, we play, we win.

Mhm.

You can't do this on your own.

I won't let you down this time, Barry.

It'll be clean, I guarantee it.

And the team needs to win this one.

Come on, man.

Really.

- Let's do it. - Aw, yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

I'm counting on you, Ernest.

What was that?

Oh, don't worry, Barry.

Everything's under control.

Don't ever do that again.

If they hear you talking to me or me talking to you--

Oh, uh, hi, Ms. Terradiddle.

Just doing some yoga stretches, you know, for the team.

Well, uh, going home for the evening, huh?

Yeah.

Going home, Ernest.

You, uh-- you thinking about going to see the guys play?

Well, I don't really like basketball

that much, Ernest, unless there's somebody

playing who I really like.

Um, say.

How come you're not playing, Ernest?

Well, uh, I'm kind of a secret weapon.

They, uh-- they hold me back until the stakes

get really high.

It's just City League, you know.

It just seems more fair that way.

Kind of evens it up, know what I mean?

Yeah.

I guess so.

See you later, Ernest.

Bye.

Bye, Ms. Terradiddle.

We'll do lunch.

Hm. Hm.

Ha. Hm.

Hm.

Oh, Erma.

From the moment we met, I knew it would just be me and you.

Trying to play hard to get, huh?

Ah, sweet heart.

They're playing our song.

The one we danced to in that smoke little club in Tangiers.

Come.

Let's dance like there's no tomorrow.

Oh, Erma.

You, burning with desire, and I, alone, heartbroken,

scrubbing an empty mall.

And there's the tip off.

The Clean Sweep are a picture of form and grace

as they put the first points on the board.

Yes!

Ha ha!

Yes.

I do windows.

The secret of success is the polish

and the power in the player.

And the hang time.

Oh yeah.

The Hackmore Antiques look like little old ladies

out there against the slammin', jammin' Clean Sweep.

Dr. Love.

This is for you, baby.

Come on, Willy.

Take them, Willy.

Take them.

Oh.

Come on.

Ow.

Barry.

I can't let that man play the second half.

Find another player or you forfeit, you understand?

OK, Jack.

OK.

I don't believe it.

They don't call us the Clean Sweep for nothing.

I feel like slapping you.

Ah.

What do you wanna forfeit?

What else are we gonna do?

Hey.

You guys you're winning. - Ernest.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be back at the mall

working to cover for us. - I finished.

- Yeah, right. - No, really.

Sarge came back.

He was impressed.

Ernest, I trusted you, man.

I wouldn't let you down, Barry.

I don't believe this.

Wait a minute.

Play Ernest.

He's a registered player.

- I'd rather forfeit. - Look, Barry.

You gotta play him.

If he left the mall, you lost your contract.

You wanna lose the game too?

B-- Barry, look. It won't work.

How we gonna win with an Ernest?

It's gotta work.

It'll work.

If I put you in the game, you promise to stay out of the way?

Your wish is my command.

There's the buzzer.

Let's play ball.

So is it forfeit, captain?

No, sir.

Our sixth man showed up.

Let's play ball.

William Bacon has joined me on the WUSH mic.

His substitute is an Ernest P. Worrell.

At 5 foot 9 and 143 pounds, he's averaged no points,

no rebounds, and no steals.

And one technical foul.

OK, fellas.

Let's have a good clean half.

28, watch the handshakes. Ready?

Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa.

OK, Ernest.

I want you to stand right here.

I don't want you to touch the ball.

I don't want you to do anything.

OK?

Explaino comprendo, El Capitano.

Ready, captain?

Let's play.

And there's the tip-off.

Get it, Ernest. Get it, Ernest!

Get! - Ernest.

Ernest.

Why didn't you get the Ball?

You told me not to touch it.

Well, I know I said not--

I mean-- look.

If the loose ball comes to you again,

just pick it up and throw it back to me.

OK?

Clever.

Red ball, out of bounds.

Hackmore Antiques brings the ball in.

It's one try at the hole, a miss, and there it is.

Two points for Raymond Boyd of the Hackmore team.

This game has been a seesaw of points

as each team struggles to edge the other out.

There's the throw in.

The pass way down court.

It glides us off to number 17.

It's up.

Wham!

Barry, come on. Come on.

Oh yeah.

Did you see that?

All right!

Wow.

Let's go baby. Let's go baby.

D it up. D it up.

D it up.

D it up!

I'll get it, Barry.

Thanks.

My pleasure.

Yo, way to go, Ernest.

Yo.

Go Ernest!

Get it, Ernest! Get it!

OK.

Yes, Ernest!

Yes, Ernest!

You have to see this man to believe--

Yes, uh, Ernest P. Wall is only 5 foot 9--

Is nothing short of phenomenal!

Go for it, Ernest.

Really?

Yes!

Go Ernest!

You're the best, man!

There's the buzzer, and that's the game.

The Clean Sweep has made a marvelous comeback.

Yes.

Yes, Ernest.

Way to go, Ernest!

Where'd you learn how to play like that?

She's here.

She came.

Ernest, come on, man. Come on.

Let's go.

Come on, man.

Ernest.

You're the best!

Hey, Uncle Walter.

Give me some right there, Dad.

All right, pumpkin head.

Who was that doing all the jumping?

Ernest.

Did you see what he did?

He's incredible, isn't he?

Yes.

Quite, quite unique.

He must have something very special.

I wonder what it is.

The shoes.

Ernest.

I've always thought you were a dumb redneck.

Always.

But let me tell you something.

You one dumb redneck who can play some ball, baby.

Good game, Ernest!

Thanks, TJ.

Ernest, you were awesome, dude.

That last shot was incredible.

Well, thanks, Quincy, but I learned that watching your dad.

Excuse me, fellas.

I don't mean to interrupt.

I just wanted to say good game, Mr. Worrell.

I'm Zamiel Moloch, and I believe that you

are extremely talented.

You have played one interesting game, son,

and I think that you are going to become a very wealthy man.

I'll be talking to you more.

I got my eye on you. s Oh, eh, looking forward to watching you

fellas play against the Charlotte Hornets.

That is going to be one very interesting game.

Congratulations.

I'll see you later.

Hey, man.

I bet that was one of those pro scouts or sports agents.

Looks like a sports agent to me, Ernest.

Mhm.

And you know what?

He said he has his eye on you, Ernest.

- You. - Yeah.

He did say that, didn't he?

Yeah.

Yeah, and he can't wait for us to shut down the Hornets, baby.

Shut them down.

Shut them-- shut them down.

Wicky, wicky, wicky.

Everybody just chill.

We still gotta win this tournament.

Just getting ahead of yourselves.

Ain't no stopping the Clean Sweep,

Barry, now that we got the redneck.

Ah.

Now that we got Ernest slamming and jamming, baby.

Was I slamming and jamming?

You almost looked like me.

Hey, Ernest.

How about some of that lemonade to celebrate with?

Yeah, the real stuff.

Not the mix.

The kind with the peels floating in it.

Fresh.

Thanks.

OK.

One on one.

Yeah! - Yes.

Quincy, way to hit, babe.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

I'm just warming up.

Hey.

Pick that up again, and I'll shove it down your throat,

you little squirt.

He's just a little boy.

Just leave him alone.

I told you.

Don't mess with the big dog.

I got a dollar.

I got a dollar.

I got two dollars.

All righty.

- Thanks. - Here you go.

- Thanks. - Thanks.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

My pleasure.

You squirt.

And how about you, little brother.

What do you want?

I want $250.

Let me rephrase that.

What do you need?

I need new shoes so I can have the edge.

Maybe you should look for it in the right place.

Huh?

Come on.

Bring it home, baby.

Bring it home.

Go dad!

Go, baby.

Baby, yeah!

The Clean Sweep are chewing up the Kicker

Kids, smoking, and spitting them out

in this one-sided competition.

Ernest!

I got it, at two!

The Clean Sweep are unstoppable.

Spin jam.

Coke, please.

Sir.

It's tiptoe through the tulips as the Clean Sweep

travel through the garden of the Tulip Brothers'

failed defensive play.

The City League teams keep falling away

as Ernest flies to victory with the Clean

Sweep as the ground crew.

See if they don't have a hot dog there, please.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Welcome to another Thursday night,

and the Clean Sweep are at it again.

Woo hoo!

Yeah!

Go Ernest, go Ernest, go!

It looks like in just a few

moments, that the Clean Sweep will be off to play the pros!

Hang time.

And the Clean Sweep win the City League tournament!

They are the City League champions!

Big E!

Yeah, baby!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Our love festers like an open wound.

Don't call the doctor.

We'll be better soon.

Then you'll infect me knowing I'll infect you,

knowing nothing will--

What?

Now what's the matter?

Erma comes to the game to see me and you won't let

me enjoy a single minute of it.

Are you jealous?

You can't be.

You're just a pair of shoes.

I'll call her.

That was low.

So.

Think you're smart, do you?

Well, watch this.

I showed you.

Let's see.

T. T. T. T. Terradiddle.

Terradiddle. Terradiddle.

Terradiddle.

Terradiddle.

Terradiddle.

Three pages of Terradiddle?

They must've settled the area.

E. E. E. E. Erma.

Erma G. Terradiddle.

No.

Uh oh.

And now for the winning lottery numbers

for the $10 million jackpot.

6, 4, 3, 8, and 2.

Those are tonight's winning numbers.

Hello.

Hello, Erma?

This is your b-ball star, Ernest.

Oh, hi, Ernest.

Gosh.

You were so good last night.

You hear that?

Uh, gee.

Thanks, Erma.

Uh, listen.

Erma, I was just wondering.

Since we won the, uh--

the tournament and all, if maybe you'd be interested in--

Going to the, uh, victory, uh, celebration dinner with me.

Oh, Ernest.

That's so thoughtful of you.

I mean, that you would think to invite

me to something so special.

I'm so flattered.

But I can't go.

I have to sit with my poor old grandmother

who has the chicken pox.

You understand.

Well, yeah.

Sure, I-- I understand, Erma.

I mean, your grandmother can't go out

in public with all those little pimply things

all over her face and stuff.

I'm so sorry.

Maybe some other time, huh?

Yeah.

Maybe when the boils clear up.

Yeah.

When they scab over.

Yeah.

Well, heh, bye bye.

Heh.

Bye.

So how'd I do?

You did just fine.

Do you really have the winning lottery ticket?

Oh, yeah.

Can I see it?

First, a little lesson in temptation.

Oh, wow.

Oh.

Thanks.

I hope you win.

Yeah.

I'm beating the Hornets by six.

All right.

Let's just hope the real thing goes the same way.

This is my chance, man.

Pros are finally gonna get to see what I can do.

They won't be looking at you, dad.

They'll be looking at Ernest.

I tell you.

I was never really hurt.

So why was you crying, then?

I was just trying to get--

Capitan. You are the man.

What up, cap? What's up, what's up?

What's going on?

Hey, hey.

Is this everybody?

Everybody but Ernest.

Brake.

No, clutch.

Come on, you guys.

I know.

I know, I know.

It's a big night for me too.

OK.

OK, that's it.

I'm operating the gas and the brake with my hands

from this day forward.

Now, calm down both of you.

Stop.

Good.

Danzo's This is it.

Oh, yes. I loved the salmon.

Wasn't the salmon wonderful?

Oh, it was delicious.

Good evening, sir.

Valet?

Oh, the keys are in it.

Oh, sorry.

It's not me.

It's these shoes.

Ah.

Mm.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Wow.

I've never been in a restaurant without a drive-through window

before.

Right this way, Mr. Worrell.

Oh, fancy.

Look.

Real cloth napkins.

Whoa.

Nothing but the finest, my brother.

As they say in Rome.

To the victors go the spoils.

We don't want the spoiled stuff.

Shouldn't the victors get the fresh stuff?

Oh, come on, Ernest.

Let's eat.

Some fine Champagne, huh, Mr. Worrell?

Ha.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'd like to propose a toast before we begin.

- All right. - OK.

Now, the Clean Sweep have come a long way.

Well.

And we have fought an uphill battle.

- Ah-huh. - But there's been one man.

One man!

- That saw us through. - Ha ha!

I'd like to propose a toast to the most

valuable player of the Clean Sweep, Mr. Ernest P. Worrell.

My man.

All right.

Go Ernest.

Go Ernest.

Get busy, go, go, go, go.

Hey, Ernest.

Can I have an autograph?

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Mine or somebody else's?

It's the shoes, isn't it?

Huh?

It's the shoes.

Uh, no, no.

Uh, it's the Worrell moves.

You know, it's that hit and run method of--

What a lovely moment.

This is wonderful.

Oh, excuse me, fellas.

I hate to intrude like this.

Erma?

Erma?

Ms. Terradiddle?

That's Erma?

Oh, Ernest.

You're the greatest.

Oh, you are so exciting.

Muah.

Muah.

But Erma, uh, what about your grandmother?

Lucky for us, her pox scabbed over.

Yeah.

Lucky scabs. - Ernest.

When I'm close to you like this, my heart beats so hard.

Can you hear it?

Yeah I think so.

Oh, good.

Listen, guys, I need Ernest for about 10 minutes, OK?

Ernie, baby.

Got some very important people for you to meet.

It'll only take a minute.

We'll take a short limo ride.

Limo?

Ah!

Like in limousine?

Mhm.

Does it have a TV?

Oh, it has a wide screen TV.

These are very influential people waiting to meet you.

Very influential.

- Very. - Very.

Influential.

Very.

Come with me, you big hunk, you.

Ernest, won't take a moment.

This way to the limo.

Does it have a Jacuzzi?

With lots of bubbles.

Funny guy.

I mean, I-- I love this guy.

Come on.

Come on, this way.

Ernest, your life is about to change,

and all your dreams are about to come true.

Oh, Ow!

Oh, sorry.

Come on, not now. - Ernest.

What's the matter?

Oh, just a little dance fever.

Come on.

We had a talk about this.

Stop it.

Now.

We're going to walk over there and get in that limo,

and we're going to behave ourselves

or we're going to walk through the dog poop again.

Good.

Cured.

Ms. Terradiddle.

Allow me.

Oh.

This happens to me all the time.

After you.

Ah!

Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Terradiddle.

I-- really, I didn't mean that.

Ernest, I think you're gonna like this.

Golly by howdy.

This is bigger than Waylan's limo.

Nothing is bigger than Waylan's limo.

Nothing.

Ernest.

No doubt in my mind you're gonna be a major star in the NBA.

Oh, gosh.

I don't know about that. I just--

No.

You are a star, Ernest, and you'll

be making a lot of money.

Oh yeah?

It's a done deal.

You're on your way.

What a glorious future you're gonna have.

Gosh.

Just think.

Me, a star in the NBA playing basketball with the big boys.

Yes.

And you'll be making lots of money.

Lots?

Cash.

Oh.

Fine champagne, huh, Mr. Worrell?

Just think of it.

You will be adored by fans.

You will take their breath away with each move

of those million dollar legs.

You will be a sport phenomenon.

Your fame will be respected throughout the world.

Over the whole, big, wide world.

The media will eat you up like ice cream.

Mm.

Don't misuse the shoes.

Everyone will wanna eat what you eat.

And drink what you drink.

And go where you go.

And they'll give you even more money.

Yes.

Over the school, around the pizza joint,

off the twins' trampoline, through the double wide,

nothing but net.

But it's not enough just to play like a star.

No, no, no.

You've gotta look like a star.

Look like a star.

And you can because you're so gorgeous.

Yes.

Gorgeous.

New for this fall from Armano Georgani, the complete Ernest

line for men.

Here comes Ernest now in a Flash Scare ensemble

that hails to the grandeur of the Ottoman empire.

You've got the right moves.

Got the moves to inspire.

And no one ever showed you how!

You got the attitude, got the look, got the fire,

and everybody loves you now!

When you talk that talk and you walk that walk,

all the people on the street just stand and gawk.

You look so good and you look so fine,

all the gods and the goddesses should just resign.

Yes.

Your man will say golly bob howdy,

honey, thank you when he puts on the comfy villa look of Ernest.

Got the right kinda feeling.

What a piece of work you are.

You got the attitude with your eyes on the ceiling.

Hey, Ernest.

I don't think that outfit goes with the shoes.

Money.

Money.

Money.

And me.

And more money.

And me.

And more money.

And me.

Listen to her.

Stay out of this.

Ernest.

You can have anything you want.

Yes, Mr. Worrell.

Anything.

Oh, yeah.

And you.

And me.

And money.

And you.

And me.

And more money.

- And you. - And me.

And more money.

And you.

And me.

And more Money.

And you.

And me.

And more money.

And you.

And me.

And more money.

Ernest.

Why don't you tell your friends that you can't work tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

I usually stay and help the guys.

You're the star, not them.

You're the only one anyone cares about, including me.

And don't you forget it.

Ooh.

I just love those muscles.

Come here. come on.

Who's a good boy?

Come on.

Yes, I'm ri--

I'm right here.

I'm right with you. Yes.

Who's a good boy?

Come on? - OK.

- Come on. - Here.

Let me get the door.

Ouch.

Oh, you're all right.

Yes, I am.

Come on.

How silly.

Hey Ernest

Yo, Ernest!

What's up, my brother?

Looks like Ern's been distracted.

Got his hands full.

Can't see us right now.

How was the limo ride?

Did you have a TV?

Yeah, but no cable.

Where have you been?

We waited at the restaurant, and now

we have to finish these floors.

Or have you've forgotten that we play

the Charlotte Hornets tomorrow?

He has some unfinished business to attend to.

You see, gentlemen, when you're a star,

you not only have to act like a star.

You have to be a star.

So I'll catch you on the court.

Sport.

Man, oh, man.

Ernest got it going on.

Well, you would do if you had hangtime

long enough to grow a beard.

- Get back to work. - Woo!

Ernest.

Did you see baby?

Come on, Quincy.

It's way past your bedtime, mister.

Put your bike up and go on to bed.

I bet Ernest doesn't have to go to bed.

Put your bike up.

You know, Quincy, Ernest has to work

just as hard as the rest of us to play as well as he has.

Hard work has paid off for Ernest.

Quincy.

Come on, dad.

Ernest pull on those shoes and blew you and all

your hard work away.

I'm going to bed.

Hey, hey, hey.

Quincy.

Come on, guys.

Let's do it. - Man, I can't believe it.

We get to the biggest game in the history of the planet

and Ernest bugs out.

Hey, where's Ernest?

All right, guys.

They don't look too happy.

Of course they're not.

It's a waste of their time to come

down here and kick our butts.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've

all been waiting for.

It's the mighty magnum of basketball brilliance.

It's the hippest hoopster of the hardwood.

It's the blizzard of the backboard.

The alpha omega of the hoop world.

It's the hardest working cracker in basketball.

What' is that?

It's Ernest, man!

It's Ernest!

My main man!

Ernie Vali Al Worrell!

When did Ernest become a black Muslim?

Ernest!

Here.

Let me.

OK, guy.

Let's huddle up.

All right.

Listen.

This is an NBA pro team.

Now, we're gonna start out in the 2-3 zone,

see which way they're coming from.

Now, T, I want you to throw the ball in.

Barry.

Barry, please.

Spare us the strategy rap.

All you have to remember is to throw me the ball,

feed me the pill, pass me the rock,

and leave everything else up to me.

Know what I mean?

This is Dr. Love at the sidelines,

pitching the pro game straight to you over at WUSH.

And the Hornets have taken the floor.

OK.

Let's do this.

Let's go Clean Sweep.

The Clean Sweep take their position on the floor,

and it looks like the Hornets are ready for this game

as their center comes to face our own Ernie Ali Worrell.

And there's the jump, folks.

Holy Fletch.

Did you see that?

That's right.

And that's the first two points, with Ernest dunking

the ball with enough hang time to write

his name on the backboard.

Oh yeah.

The Hornets bring the ball down into Sweep territory

and set up the play.

D, baby.

D, baby.

Here we go.

This guy is awesome.

Is the ball in the air yet?

I believe so.

And there goes Ernest.

That was a three pointer.

He turns it into a two?

Way to go, Barry!

A little Gump dump.

Was what fantastic!

The crowd is in love with Ernest P. Worrell!

And he is so gracious to his adoring fans.

Got something, huh?

What you got?

I got you.

Can't go around me.

Oh no!

Number two. Run number two.

I got it.

Don't you love team sports?

Ernest is determined to crush

these Hornets all by himself.

This just in on exhibition games around the country.

The Charlotte Hornets are getting

trounced by a City League team who

call themselves Clean Sweep.

This is unbelievable.

The score is 36 to 4 in the middle of the second quarter.

How can this be?

A City League team knocking the daylights

out of the Charlotte Hornets?

And it's all because of one man, Ernest--

Ernest P-- Ernest P. Something.

Ernest-- Ernest P. Worrell.

He has been a one man team in this match,

and the Hornets have nothing to combat this fly guy.

Let's take you to the action where our travel cam

sports crew have just arrived.

This is absolutely the most incredible thing the sports

cruiser has ever seen.

This Ernest character is literally

punishing the Hornets.

They're not happy about it, their coach is not

happy about it, and it looks like Ernest's own team

is not all that happy about it.

There's the halftime buzzer, and what a half it's been.

My, oh, my.

Ernest.

You looked like NBA material out there.

That's because I am NBA material.

How did you manage to out score an entire pro team?

Quite nicely, I thought.

Ernest.

You've got a wonderful future.

What are your plans?

That's it, boys.

That's enough.

I've got to go freshen up now.

We'll do lunch.

Ernest. Ernest.

What are your plans for the future, Ernest?

Mr. Worrell?

No, really. That's all.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Hey, you guys.

We're really tromping them, huh?

We ain't doing nothing, Ernest.

Yeah.

You doing it, biggie.

You doing it all.

Hey, I thought if we could win this game, we could--

We just gonna watch you play.

But we're a team.

Define team.

We don't wanna make you look bad.

Know what I mean?

Excuse me, Air Ernie.

I could make some lemonade.

Ernest.

You're the greatest.

You're the best player in the whole world.

Well, what about your dad?

Uh, he's nothing, and never will be.

But you're a star.

When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

Hey, Ernest. That's the buzzer.

Come on.

Hurry up.

Come on, man.

Did you hear that?

Now on top of everything else, I've turned this little kid

against his dad.

Yeah, some star.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, well you were partly to blame.

If you hadn't acted so high and mighty, it--

If we do that, we could lose and--

Well, I guess it would help Barry and little Quincy.

Ouch.

Ow.

Ow.

Stop squeezing my toes.

OK.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

OK.

OK, I'm with you.

OK, wait.

When's he coming out?

Who cares?

The Clean Sweep take the floor, but where's

the man of the hour?

Where's Ernest?

There he is, ladies and gentlemen!

The man, the super star!

Ernest, we love you.

Muah muah muah muah.

Ernest tips to Barry Worth.

Worth passes it back Worrell.

Worrell to Worth.

Worth to Worrell.

Worrell to-- it's stolen.

What's wrong with you, man?

Take the ball and shoot it.

And the hornets score.

What's going on out there?

What has happened to this Clean Sweep team?

The star, Ernest P. Worrell keeps passing the ball off.

T! T!

T up!

T up!

Way to go, Barry!

OK, rebound. I got the rebound.

Go! - What's with you?

Stop him!

Good idea.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! All right.

All right. - Get out of the way.

We coming back.

We coming back.

Man, I can't believe this.

Get this close.

Wake up, Ernest.

Look. Wake up, Ernest.

Wake up!

- He's not waking up. - Oh, yeah, he will.

Watch this.

Ow.

Ow.

Ouch.

That hurt.

Come on, Ernest.

Snap out of it, OK?

We gotta finish the game.

Now, come on.

I can't.

You guys do it.

I'm hurt.

Old football injury.

Redskins, you know.

Come on, Ernest.

We can't win this thing without you.

Well, sure you can.

You guys can win it.

You're a team.

You're a basketball machine, remember?

You guys can do it.

Hard work will do it.

You're right, Ernest.

Let's go, guys.

All right. Let's do it.

Hard work, baby.

- Hard work, baby. - Sweep!

Come on, baby.

Let's do this.

Let's do this.

The Clean Sweep team has taken the floor

without their star Ernest.

Standby.

We may be switching to midget racing.

The Hornets are coming back

hard and fast with no Clean Sweep super star

to stand in their way.

Things are turning out for the worst for the boys in blue.

What are you doing?

You're kissing a $5 million contract goodbye.

You're a star.

You can't quit.

You're blowing the whole deal!

I blew the whole deal.

What?

You were on the top!

What do you want?

Anything. You name it.

The world can be yours, man.

Just finish the game.

I wanted to be on the team and I'm not, and it's my own fault.

What about me, Ernest?

You're not what I thought.

You're making a big mistake, Mr. Worrell.

No I'm not.

Now get away from me and leave me alone.

Oh, Ernest.

Both of you.

Get away from me and leave me alone.

You are going to be very sorry.

What is he doing?

Ernest is giving up his shoes?

Well, I guess he thought it was the right thing to do.

The Hornets have it again.

The shot.

Oh, it's off the rim, and there's Worth at the rebound.

He's down the court.

He's up there-- and that's two for the Sweep!

For what it's worth, it's Barry Worth.

He is reaching deep.

He just blew off two of the best defense players in the NBA.

Barry is keeping the Sweep on top.

I taught them everything they know.

TJ.

What?

What?

What are you talking about, a foul?

You gotta wake up and watch the game.

That wasn't no foul!

What are you talking about?

What did I do to foul?

And with just five seconds left, TJ Wilson is fouled out.

You want some, grandmammy? Huh?

Huh? - Come on, TJ.

TJ. TJ.

TJ. - TJ, just chill.

Ernest, you gotta come in, man, or we're through.

Yeah, Ernest.

Go on in.

Well, I don't know, fellas.

Ernest, it's what you must do.

Come on, Ernest.

But what if I cause us to lose and we look really bad?

Ernest.

That doesn't matter because you're part of the team.

You mean I'm really proud of the team?

Yeah.

You're really part of the team.

You mean I--

I'm really, really, really, really, really,

really, really, really, really, really, really part

of the team? - Really.

- Really. - Really.

Really part of the team.

OK.

All right.

Clean Sweep!

You're really on the team, Ernest.

Go.

OK. Here we go.

Seconds to go and the Hornets lead by one.

Barry Worth has done an amazing job

leading the City League champs.

Barry Worth is definitely an NBA caliber player.

Ernest. Shoot!

Shoot it, Ernest!

Throw it up!

Yeah.

Ernest, shoot the ball.

Shoot the ball!

I know what you're thinking.

Don't shoot it, Ernest.

You better pass me the ball.

Shoot the ball! Shoot it, Ernest!

Shoot it!

Don't shoot it.

Shoot the ball!

Ernest, don't shoot it!

Ow!

Good game, TJ.

We did it.

Way to go, Barry.

That was quite a game you played, Mr. Worth.

Thanks, but the rest of the team, they played great.

I mean--

Uh, we'd like to talk to you in private if we can.

Sure.

Why?

We're a couple of pro scouts and we're always looking

for a talent like yours.

Come on, son.

All right!

Yeah.

It was great, wasn't it?

Yeah!

We won it!

We did it!

We did it!

Ha ha!

I'm sorry I took these shoes.

I just saw them and I couldn't resist.

I'm really sorry.

So you figured out that I was after Quincy all along.

I had that kid the moment he laid eyes on those shoes.

But you didn't see Ernest coming, Zamiel.

You lost big time.

You know, I gotta hand it to you.

Using the yahoo with the brown hat and the magic shoes on,

that was brilliant.

I was-- I was totally blindsided.

I figured you'd be up to your same old tricks.

Oh, well, they work most of the time.

But not this time.

Wait a minute.

How did you know Ernest would make the right decision?

For that matter, how did you know Ernest will

become Quincy's role model?

You cheated.

It's chess, baby.

I was three moves ahead.

But-- but I had help.

I'm not saying I did this on my own, you know.

Well, you won this one, all right.

Maybe the next time Quincy crosses your path,

he'll recognize you.

Yeah, well, enjoy the game.

'Til next time.

Shall we take our leave, Ms. Terradiddle?

Say.

You wouldn't happen to know where the Phillies are

playing this week, would you?

I didn't think so.

Oh.

For you, my dear.

The winning lottery ticket.

Oh.

For me?

Oo.

Will I make lots of money?

Oh, yes.

Very expensive money.

Anybody else want some Clean Sweep?

I always knew we were the best.

Just pass me the pill.

I'm good to go.

I'm finally gonna get my shot.

Hey, dad!

Hey!

Hey!

What's up?

Did you win?

We did it.

I knew you could do it.

I'm proud of you.

Hey.

Where you been?

Doing some very hard work.

Let's go home.

Ah, the sweet smell of victory.

And all it took was my spider like reflexes,

my dazzling hand-eye coordination,

and, of course, a little fancy footwork.

Know what I mean?

Ah!