Original subtitles

[birds tweeting]

Yes! It's here!

Whoa.

-[Jack] Look, Lil. -Huh?

My mom got me a phone.

What? Jungle Boy Jack got a phone?

Hmm.

So, first thing's first.

I'll put you in our family group chat.

And here's where you can download games.

I like to take all of mine and put them in a folder called,

"homework."

Wow, it really is a whole new world.

-[vigorous typing sounds] -[both sigh]

[both sniff]

Technology allows us a window into the lives of others

but not all windows have a good view.

This is a big step for you, Jack.

You may be 13 and old enough to have a phone

but there's still gonna be some ground rules.

Location tracker, on.

Search history, public.

Social media, no.

[softening] Plus, you think about all these latest studies

-[buzzing] -coming out of Harvard as far as

-cellphone radio waves... -[both giggle]

And even encrypted correspondence

can be subpoenaed by a court.

-[Will continues speaking] -[message swoops]

[buzzing]

...illnesses

[snorts]

[suppressed laughter]

Got it?

Okay. Good.

Will Wylde, you did it again.

I didn't know you had it in you, Jack.

Hah. Yeah, me neither.

Huh?

The text, the text, the text!

The funny text about Dad!

I accidentally sent it to the-- to the--

to the family group chat.

[suspenseful music]

What have you done, Jack?

♪♪ Me and you ♪♪

♪♪ Together we get close ♪♪

♪♪ Me and you Me and you ♪♪

[water splashing]

[rhythmic whistling]

[both] We gotta delete that text!

Come on. Where is it?

[both panicking]

Gotta be here somewhere.

Jack.

Why don't we use my phone to call Dad's phone?

That way when Dad's phone rings, we can locate it--

[both] From sound alone.

[both gasp]

[both] We're so smart.

[dialing tone]

[cellphone ringtone]

-[humming] -[cellphone ring]

Hey! My phone.

[buzzing, rings]

[both] We should've looked there first!

[pants]

-[whistling] -[cellphone rings]

[pants]

[speedy ringtone]

[pants]

[cellphone rings]

Is that my phone?

[cellphone rings]

Uh, I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss that call.

-[cellphone rings] -Hmm.

Why would Lil be calling me when she's right there?

[sad trombone]

-[beeps] -Hello?

Hi, Dad.

Just called to say I love you.

I love you too.

-[beeps] -Well, I'm off to the gym.

I have a family that loves me

so, I've got to stay healthy.

[panicked, nervous sighs]

Manifest strength. Manifest wealth.

Manifest strength. Manifest wealth.

[engine stutters]

-Ugh. Come on. -[engine stutters]

Psst. Lily.

Why won't you start?

[beeping]

I just filled this up!

[grunts]

[whistling]

Argh. This can't get worse.

[honking]

[band] ♪♪ Night will come ♪♪

♪♪ I get caught in your whim ♪♪

♪♪ Suffocate in your palms ♪♪

♪♪ By breathing that comes ♪♪

♪♪ From my angel of dark ♪♪

-[band continues to sing] -♪♪ Every tear is a dagger ♪♪

♪♪ Rain drop, drop on ♪♪

[mumbles] ♪♪ Hop on ♪♪

♪♪ Hop off Cookies ♪♪

♪♪ Cookies Hop off ♪♪

-This is my chance. -[rapper sings]

[rapper continues]

[straining]

-[hoots] -[gasps]

[tires screech]

[honking]

[hoots]

[breathes deeply]

Oh, to err is human.

To forgive, divine.

[classical music playing]

♪♪ Three little men from school are we ♪♪

-[Will and radio singers sing] -[groans]

Was that my stomach?

Time for Dad's car snacks!

Where my cold cuts at?

[grunting, groaning]

Whoa!

That's a tough piece of turkey.

[strains, sighs]

[breathes, gulps]

[chokes]

[background scream]

Don't freak out,

but there's a stinky sock

on your head.

[nervously panics, gags]

[sighs]

Should we give up?

No!

I only see Dad a few weeks a year.

I don't want this text to make things weird between us.

Stay if you want.

I gotta delete that text message.

[whistles]

[squeaking]

[squeaking]

-[beeps] -[groans]

-[beeps] -[groans]

Follow my lead.

Is it leg day already? Beep.

[groans]

[grunting]

[people panting]

[both grunting, groaning]

There's Dad's bag.

Uh, I don't think this is Dad's.

[clears throat]

That's my stuff.

-[screams] -Please don't kill us!

[grunting]

[siren wails]

[siren blaring]

[sighs]

Why'd I even want this thing?

I hate it. It's the worst!

Hey, hey, hey!

Stay with me. We still got a chance!

[instructor] Breathe in the positive vibrations

of nature, humanity,

and the loved ones around you.

Breathe out the crushing futility of existence.

[exhales sharply]

Love this class.

I want you to picture a moment of your life

where you felt weak, where you felt bullied,

and I want you to...

scream!

[weak screaming]

[angry, loud screaming]

Okay. You ready?

Are you sure this is gonna work?

Yeah. Now, get in there.

Rainwater to reinvigorate your inner warrior?

Now, visualize yourself as the bike

and pretend you are the one being ridden.

[gasps]

[pants]

-You got it? -Yeah,

but how do we crack the password?

Let's try my birthday.

[negative buzz]

-Maybe my birthday? -[negative buzz]

Let's try my birthday again.

[cellphone ringing]

[pants] Hey, my phone.

-[screams] -[screams]

-[ringing] -Go, go, go!

[pants]

[grunts] Where is it?

[screams]

-[screams] -[screams]

[Will screaming]

[straining, grunts]

No!

-Whoa! -[grunts]

-[people grunting] -[bikes crashing]

What are you two doing here?

-Hello? -[Min chattering]

What's that? Check the group chat?

Dad, I can explain.

Shush.

[Will] You two have really stepped in it this time!

Now I'm banned.

How am I supposed to stay fit and healthy for my family

if I can't go to my spin class?

I loved that class!

I'm sorry, Dad. It was my mistake.

But this phone,

it brought out the devil in me.

Be gone!

-Oh, nice shot. -Wait.

You're not mad about the text?

Oh, that? Nah.

It's gonna take a lot more than a silly joke

to get under my skin.

We're family.

Family say things they don't mean sometimes.

But it's important we apologize and try not to do it again.

[both] We're sorry.

[grunts, cracks back] Well,

if you'll excuse me, I left something in my car.

I might take a minute, but it's okay.

Don't come help me.

[door opens, closes]

[sad, melancholic music]

[thunder rumbles]

We should text him.

[swoop sound]

[beeps, buzzing]

Lil. Jack.

Lil. Jack.

Lil. Jack!

[dog sniffing]

-[Will] No! -[dog barking]

I don't understand!

The last Hallasand was right here!

Did someone already eat it?

We were gonna share that for dessert!

I can't believe one of you was so selfish

just for another bite of soft, velvety,

delicious, life-altering cookie.

Oh, yeah. Whoa.

Oh, yeah!

Hey! Come to me.

[choking, gagging]

[gasps]

Eating the last Hallasand is truly criminal.

Who would do such a thing?

Kids, [sighs] sometimes in life,

it's better to just let go of these things.

But this is not one of those times.

It's Halmoni!

-What? -[all gasp]

That's a serious accusation, Min.

I'm a serious woman, Will.

Well, Wylde Pak family bylaws state

that Halmoni is entitled to a fair and speedy trial.

So, I call to order an emergency family tribunal.

♪♪ Me and you ♪♪

♪♪ Together we get close ♪♪

♪♪ Me and you Me and you ♪♪

Okay, gang. [sighs]

Because Min made the accusation,

she will speak first.

Thank you, honey. I love you and I cherish you.

[clears throat] It started at 10:00 this morning.

It was like any other morning.

I was in the kitchen, watering my plants,

when Lil came in.

Good morning to my lovely mother.

Um-mwah!

[screams]

[panicking]

-Are you okay, Lily? -What's going on?

[mumbling] We have a Hallasand!

[all] Ooh. Cookie.

We must've forgotten about this little guy.

[all] We should eat it now. Cookie.

Whoa. Whoa! Hallasands are special.

What if we share it for dessert

and really savor it together as a family.

Wouldn't that be the right thing to do?

-I love you, Mom. -What a good idea!

That's why I married her!

But one of us wasn't as keen on

sharing the Hallasand.

Ooh, I love you my smart wife.

Two p.m. I'm working in the kitchen.

Mr. Rodriguez, I'll put you down for Saturday.

I'm ready for your credit card, Mrs. Eslick.

Mr. McMahon, you wanna cancel your appointment last minute?

Sure, let me just explain our cancellation policy.

[mumbling, grunts]

I gotta find some-- I gotta find something to use.

-[shouting] -Need any help, hon?

No!

What I'm embarking on is far too dangerous

for any of you to get involved.

I finish this alone.

Ow! My tushy!

As I went to get back to work,

there was Halmoni at the scene of the crime.

[hisses]

I didn't think much of it then

but that must've been when she took the Hallasand.

Five p.m.

I drive home after picking up

Mrs. Hempstead's peregrine falcon.

-Caw, caw! -[falcon caws]

And who do I see?

Halmoni destroying the evidence!

Now you can see why I think Halmoni ate the cookie.

Hmm.

I don't know.

Those moments all seem pretty insignificant.

Ah, that's what I thought too,

but something she said earlier in the day

put it all in context.

I would throw everybody in front of a bus

to eat that Hallasand right now.

Wait. What did you say?

Hey, Halmoni.

All right.

I'll be right back, Minju.

And then she just walked upstairs.

Yeah, she did it.

Enjoy life in prison, Halmoni.

Wait. It looks bad,

but I think she's innocent. Hear me out.

Eleven a.m.

I planned to start my day

with a casual viewing of one of my favorite feel-good films.

Ah, toots. Where is it?

Just then, I witnessed

one of Halmoni's acts of genuine compassion.

How many people would hand deliver

their clean laundry right to you?

-[clicks tongue] -That's one top-notch gal.

But back to the problem at hand.

Around 3:00 p.m., my search for the film

led me to the underbelly of the living room couch.

[thumping sounds]

[gasps] My DVD!

Halmoni's kindness had gifted me what I was looking for.

So good boy.

And then she was off

to complete what I can only assume

were more good deeds.

So, movie in hand,

I went into the kitchen to grab a snack.

And that's when I noticed something...

heinous.

If there's one thing father is a merciless tyrant about,

it's open cupboard doors.

Chilled by the thought of his wrath, I got to work.

As I closed the cupboards,

I took notice of the Hallasand resting safely in the pantry.

I just think if you opened door, you should close it.

-I'm not a tyrant. -That was at 3:00 p.m.

An hour after Min said she caught

Halmoni eating the Hallasand.

So, she couldn't have eaten it.

But neither you or Mom saw Halmoni from four to five.

What happened in that hour?

[laughs]

I'm glad you asked.

We were all in the kitchen this morning

when we decided to split the Hallasand.

-Whoa. -You're so strong!

[grunts]

Run along, everyone. Daddy's got work to do.

-Bye, Papa! -Coolest guy I know.

He ain't bad on the eyes either.

[laughs] Bunch of cuties.

[gasps]

I went to give Mr. Kruvi's chameleon a bath.

But he ran off on me!

To the Groom and Board!

What did you just say?

Excuse me, ladies.

[smooches]

Will is so handsome.

You did good, Minju.

I ran to the trailer to look for him,

when I saw the biggest spider I've ever seen.

[growls]

I needed to gear up, so I went to the kitchen.

Two p.m.

You come back, Will Wylde.

You come back a hero!

As you wish, my lady.

[sighing] Aww.

[growling] Your family is mine!

You itsy-bitsy creep!

-Gyah! -Hya!

-[growls] -[grunts]

[grunting]

-[growling] -[grunting]

[both grunting]

[both screaming]

Ah!

Huh? What?

Say goodnight, Will Wylde.

Heh, heh, heh.

I thought I was done for.

Until Halmoni saved me.

Huh? Ah!

Hey, spider.

Sucks to be you.

Wait. But this doesn't clear things up at all.

[shrieking]

I guess that does place Halmoni in the trailer

while you were out, Min.

No one wants to know how it went with the spider?

Okay, okay. Everyone calm down.

Dad, no.

Ahem.

I think I can clear all this up.

10:05 a.m.

After we all split up this morning,

I got to my room to play my new game.

Ripped Ascension Four: Unfaithful Edition.

It's my first play through and I start building my character.

A high elf barbarian pastry chef named Shuaz.

The customization options are nuts.

The new game engine allows for triple-tiering subclassing,

so I have to make sure it fits Shuaz's core mechanic.

It's not until 1:30 p.m. that I had his initial build ready.

I finally thought I was done when I realized

I set my barbarian faith to arbitrary,

which directly opposed Shuaz's paladin beliefs--

Does Halmoni even factor into this?

What? Why would she?

Your Honor.

Please, let me defend myself.

I did not eat Hallasand.

What did you just say?

I was talking to Minju on sofa,

and I noticed something on Will.

It was Dokkaebi!

[both gasp] Dokkaebi!

Yes. Korean monster.

With Dokkaebi in house,

Hallasand and family will not be safe.

I be right back, Minju.

So, I decide to hunt down.

It was very, very difficult

because, always, it disappear.

Dokkaebi hate red color,

so I use Lily's hat to scare away.

Dokkaebi run!

Hide inside AC.

[growls]

So, I chased to kitchen.

I'm not gonna let that spider make a fool out of me!

[yelps]

Then I turn on AC very, very high

so it blow out Dokkaebi.

Dokkaebi shoot out!

Right inside kitchen closet.

I try to catch.

But Dokkaebi is very, very clever.

[whimpers]

Aww.

Ahh!

It trick me!

Then, run to living room,

jump onto shelf and make big mess.

I try to grab it, but it make fun of me!

-Then run away again! -[giggles]

But your Halmoni is a super Halmoni.

I chase to trailer.

Inside there is Will, crying like baby.

[crying]

Then I see hungry Dokkaebi eating dog food.

Oh.

So, finally I catch evil Dokkaebi.

Aw. [clicks tongue] You trapped now?

Aw. You gonna cry, little bug?

[screams] My face!

Then I go outside and throw Dokkaebi away!

And I see Minju get out of car.

[giggling]

And now we are here.

My family blame me for missing Hallasand.

That's the most insane thing I've ever heard in my life.

I stood up for you.

You made a fool of me, Halmoni!

Will, it's time to put my mom in a home.

-[gasps] -[gasps]

Dokkaebi!

Umma, they don't exist.

No! Look!

[yawns]

[all] Hallasand!

Mr. Kruvi's chameleon!

Wait. This was the Dokkaebi you were chasing around?

Yes.

That's just a chameleon, Halmoni.

What is that?

Well, I officially withdraw my Hallasand accusation.

-Sorry, Umma. -Sorry, Halmoni.

A home is still not a bad idea.

Well, at least we can eat the Hallasand now.

[grunts, gulps, snorts]

[gasps]

No! That chameleon had a very restrictive diet!

I'm eating that chameleon!

-[Will] Lily, no! -[Min] Somebody grab her!

[Lily] Today I feast!

♪♪ Me and you ♪♪

♪♪ Together we get close ♪♪

♪♪ Me and you Me and you ♪♪

♪♪ Me and you ♪♪

♪♪ Together we get close ♪♪

♪♪ Me and you Me and you ♪♪