Original subtitles

-[bright music playing] -[gulls calling]

[inhales, exhales]

[grunts]

Well, Lil, looks like I won.

Not so fast.

Hmm...

Yup, I think you did, buddy!

That was a good game, Jack.

Good game yourself, Lil.

[laughing]

Lil and Jack are sure getting along.

I know! Right?

[chuckles]

Did we do something wrong?

Wrong? It's a good thing!

Of course. Guess I'm just not used to it.

Mom! Dad! I'm gonna take Jack out on the boat.

Be back soon.

-Have fun, kids! -Uh...

So, where are you taking me?

It's a secret.

[laughs diabolically]

[soft music playing]

[gull calling]

[squawking aggressively]

You're gonna love this.

-Come on! -[Jack grunts, groans]

Uh... Hmm. Okay.

Am I here, or...

You may remove your blindfold.

[gasping]

[Lil] Welcome to Lake Island,

the old abandoned testing site

for the greatest amusement park in the world!

A crawfish carousel?

Snapping turtle bumper cars?

A Guess How Much This Leech Weighs scale?!

Oh my gosh, a photo booth!

[giggling] Should we?

Maybe we should! Let's-Let's do it!

[camera clicking]

-[electricity zapping] -[whirring]

You were right! This place is incredible!

[screams]

-[dramatic music] -Oh no, the boat!

[theme music plays]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

-[gull calling] -[panting]

You didn't tie the boat?!

I was blindfolded!

You're the responsible one!

Oh, I didn't realize I was here to babysit you!

[grunting]

Stop!

[inhaling]

We're doing it again.

This is old Jack and Lil.

-We're better than this. -You're right.

We just need to stay calm.

-[screaming] -[hard rock drums playing]

[distant, muffled shouts]

Oh, Will, look!

[bright, tropical music playing]

-Hey! -[laughing] Hey!

[both laughing]

[sighing happily]

If you're watching this,

Jack and I have probably been dead for years.

I hope somebody saves us.

I don't wanna be stuck here forever!

I have a plan.

Oh, phew. That's the Jack I know.

Time to start our new lives here.

The sooner we accept our fate, the better.

That's your plan?

Survival is key.

First, we gotta grow our own food.

Wait.

[grunting]

Jjang!

Lake Island's signature treat.

The Lake Cake.

[electric guitar solo]

How are we gonna get it out?

I don't know. Bash it?

Whoa! I-I don't think that's a good idea.

What do you propose, pal?

Mom used to say,

"Seek wisdom in nature."

[waves crashing]

Well?

[conch] Use it wisely.

Yes!

This'll take a little more... finesse.

[groans] This is taking forever!

It's bashing time!

Let go, brother.

Enough already, sister!

[both grunting] Stand down!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

[screams]

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! [screams]

[spirited music plays]

[clangs]

-Yay! -Yay!

-[growling] -[ominous music playing]

See? Lily provides.

This isn't quite half, is it?

Um, it's exactly half, actually.

Eh...

Ugh! Let's trade then.

-No, it's fine. You have it. -Just take the whole thing.

You're wasting away, dear brother. You need to eat.

Eat the snack, Lily!

[grunting]

Take it!

[squawking]

[stomping loudly]

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, give it back! Squaw!

-[squawks] -[Lil groans]

[groaning]

Don't you know what you've done?!

You've given the wildlife a taste

for human food.

Whatever. We'll grow our own food.

You saw what that aggro bird did to me.

We need to fortify for a counterattack!

I'm talking barbed wire, turrets, pointy sticks!

We don't need a fort. We need food.

We had food

until you couldn't accept what I gave you!

It always has to be on your terms!

And now, we're stuck on this lousy island!

Lousy?

You take that back!

[hard rock drums playing]

[light music playing]

[sighs]

Can I tell you something?

Lately I've been worried

that I'm not cutting it as a stepmom.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa. Where is this coming from?

Don't do that to yourself. You're doin' great, hon.

I just want Jack to feel at home here

without Lil feeling any less loved.

Yeah, I-I see what you mean.

But, thankfully, our kids are incredibly well-adjusted.

-[smacks] -Ah!

[groans, spits]

Guess we're not the buddy-buddy team we thought.

First thing you've been right about all day.

New rule.

You stay on that side of the crawfish, I'll stay on mine.

Fine by me! Enjoy building your tree house or whatever.

Enjoy eating roots or whatever.

[tense music playing]

-[bird squawking] -[Lil panting, grunting]

[animal noises]

[eating noisily]

[bird squawking]

I knew you'd be back.

[slamming, squawking]

Unlike my naive brother,

I am prepared!

[squawking, pecking]

[laughing]

No beast will penetrate my fortress!

[gull squawks]

[crashing]

Any chance we could hash this out peacefully? [chuckles]

[screaming squawk]

[light music playing]

Who knew old soda machines

could make a flawless irrigation system?

I did. I knew that.

[sniffing]

Wow. Dirt.

Upon this dirt, I shall build a new society,

free of inequality and suffering.

-[rattling] -Huh?

[hissing, rumbling]

[shrieks]

[music distorting]

[sighs] I gotta go find some food.

[mellow music playing]

[grunts]

[grunting]

Huh?

[grunts] Eureka!

I wonder if these are safe to eat.

Mmm! Bless you, good old reliable preservatives.

[ominous music playing]

Uh... hello.

[neck creaking]

Just need something to shoo you away.

[tense music playing]

-[crunching] -Ow!

Uh...

[tense music playing]

[echoing thud]

[cheerful, upbeat music playing]

[inaudible except for music]

-[tense music playing] -[squawking]

The birds, they'll rip us limb from limb!

But I betcha Lil doesn't have one of these. [laughs]

Winner-winner, chicken dinner!

-[smacking] -[squawking]

[laughs]

I can't believe I did it!

[squawking]

[tense music playing]

[cackling squawks]

[music intensifying]

[buzzer blares]

[Jack screams]

[eerie music playing]

[rumbling]

[squawking]

Lil?

It's starting.

[stomach rumbling]

[groaning] Hunger.

A-ha! I knew you couldn't resist breaking the treaty!

This is all your fault!

I show you this awesome island and you ruin it!

Just like you ruined my gamer room!

What? Jack, that's me!

Oh, right.

It was gonna be my gamer cove!

I showed you this island,

and I brought you here

because I love this place.

[crying] And I thought you'd love it too.

Uh, really?

Yes! I wanted to share it with you because...

we were just getting along, remember?

[soft, pleasant music playing]

Ha! I thought that tank would help grow crops.

And I thought that bumper car

would be a barricade against those birds.

What if we took your crawfish car...

And your carbonation tank...

[bright music playing]

Uh, Lil...

Mm, bash it!

[clangs]

[rumbling, splashing]

Maybe we were wrong to worry.

Yeah, we're good. The kids are good.

Better than good, even!

[Lil and Jack screaming]

[crashing]

Hey-hey! Speak of the devils!

Can't wait to hear about your day!

[groaning]

I was right. I'm a bad stepmom.

[gentle music playing]

Sorry we destroyed your favorite place in the world.

Eh, I'm over it. I'm just glad we're still alive

and we're still... friends?

Hey, Lil, one more time?

[whimsical whistling music playing]

-[crunching] -Oh, sorry, Jack.

It's okay. I guess we still have some work to do.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[gentle music playing]

[bright music playing]

[gasps] Oh, hot, hot, hot!

Now where is that darn thing?

[knocking] Hey, Lil.

[gasps]

[Lil groaning]

-[spits] Dad, have you seen my-- -Beanie?

Oh, thanks. Hey, do you mind making waffles for breakfast?

-Way ahead of ya. -Yes!

-Oh, and do you have... -Game controller?

-[chuckles] -You're the best.

Ha! Just a dad doin' dad stuff.

[whistling]

♪ I'm a dad ♪

[knocking]

Rise and shine!

Hey, Dad.

I made waffles.

Nah, I've got breakfast covered. Thanks though.

You know, it's lookin' a little sparse in here.

Should we get some posters for your walls or a rug

or furniture of any kind?

I want you to feel settled here.

Thanks, but I prefer it this way.

Ready to go whenever life calls.

I understand. Let's step away from the window, son.

That doesn't mean you can't lay down some roots, settle in,

trade the hammock for a bed. What do you say?

-[creaking] -[shrieks]

[groans] Promise that wasn't on purpose.

That's the beauty of a hammock. Easily replaceable.

So we're agreed. Replace the hammock with a bed.

Replace the hammock with a hammock!

-Or a bed. -Or a hammock.

Right, a bed.

Hammock.

[theme music plays]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

-[horse neighing] -[soft music playing]

[sighs] Jack says he wants a hammock

to go with his life of adventure.

I don't know about adventure.

That was his mom's thing. What's my thing?

You're already giving him something he's never had.

The comforts of home.

Spend time with him. That's worth more than a bed.

[man] Are you in need of home furnishings?

-I am! -Or just looking

-for an adventure? -Jack is!

Come on down to Mike A's,

the one-stop shop for anything and everything!

Lightly used housewares,

semi-ethically sourced medical supplies,

and the widest selection of tons and tons of beds

this side of the Mississippi!

-This is it! -[neighing]

Mike A's, where family adventure begins!

It's exactly what Jack needs! What I want him to need!

-[neighing] -Wahoo! I can finally be

the dad Jack needs by taking him to this store!

-[neighing] -Oh! Thanks for the help, Min.

That's not what I said!

Ah, he'll figure it out.

-[upbeat music playing] -[tires screeching]

Oh, man, I'm so excited to show you this place, Jack.

Gonna be a real adventure. Plus they got great beds.

I'm fine with a hammock, but I'm super excited

for a Dad-Jack solo adventure.

It's been forever.

It hasn't been that long.

Since I was six.

Six?! No, that's not right.

Yup, not since I was six.

Well, no time like the present.

[Jack laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

[dinging]

[kid laughing]

-Whoa! -Whoa!

-[screaming] -[laughing]

-[laughing] -[bouncing]

[screaming joyfully]

[laughing, screaming]

-[beep] -[electricity zapping]

-This place is... -Amazing!

I've never seen a place like this.

Kind of intense, right?

Is this a real sarcophagus?

Real and a steal!

100% authentic, 90% legal, and 10% off.

Hi. Mike A, owner of this fine establishment.

Will. This is my son, Jack.

[snaps]

[both screaming]

[laughing] Just kidding!

Gets 'em every time! Aisle 8 for the fake hands.

Aisle 6 for the real ones.

Don't need hands today. We're here

on a bit of a father-son adventure for a bed.

Or a hammock. I prefer hammocks.

Hmm.

I got beds, I got hammocks.

I got beds made out of recycled hammocks

and a hammock made out of shredded beds.

Want adventure? I got those too.

Hop on, young explorer. To aisle 12,

hammocks, beds, and adventures.

[Jack] Cool!

Okay, I guess I'll just walk.

-Behold! -Whoa!

A bedroom for the young adventurer.

They really do have everything.

-This is... -So cool!

Oh, wow! How did you even find this?

Well, it's a long story.

Lucky for you, we're open 24 hours.

2007, Peru, with one hand hanging onto the edge of a cliff

and a priceless relic in the other.

You know what's really priceless? This bed!

Sure.

So my business partner betrayed me,

but he didn't know I'd swapped the gold for chocolate coins!

-[Mike A laughing] -[Will groaning]

I was racing down the rapids,

only a bow and arrow at my side,

and I could hear the locals shouting,

"Squeal like a pig!"

Hey, this is the bed!

Thanks, I'll take it from here.

Wait, I wanna hear the end of the story.

But we found what we're looking for. This was the goal.

For you.

-[beep] -[clearing throat]

Well, I can tell an awkward situation

when I see one.

[groaning]

I just want to give you what you need.

What I need or what you want?

You can get a bed if it's so important.

I came for an adventure with you.

Guess I gotta find one myself.

Jack!

[tense music playing]

[light, cheery music playing]

[Jack sighs]

Fancy seeing you here!

You know, that usually works best with two people. Uh...

Where's your dad?

He only came here to buy stuff.

I wanted something different.

I see. A treasure money can't buy.

I told you I got something for everyone,

and I've got just what you're lookin' for.

Ooh!

[Will] "Oh, no, Dad, I don't need anything.

I'm a mysterious adventurer.

It's unclear what value you add to my life."

[somber music playing]

-What do you want? -[Mike A] Hey, big fella!

Some son you got. Hard to shop for, eh?

I know! I can't figure out what he wants,

and I can't get him to want what I think he needs.

Well, lucky for you, I have a knack for this stuff.

What if I told you I got something your son needs,

something you want him to have?

I'd be surprised if such a thing even exists.

Oh, you'll be surprised, all right.

Very surpri--

Ooh!

Surprised.

Strange man.

[laughing]

Come on! [laughing eccentrically]

-[horse neighing] -Where are we?

Right where you need to be.

-Dad? -Jack?

[both] What are you doing here? Mike A told me to--

Didn't I teach you to not follow strangers

into mysterious vaults?

Uh, no. And didn't you just do the same thing?

Fair enough. All right, Mike A, what's this super secret--

Surprise!

[door slams, locking]

Well, he's right, I am surprised.

[loud rumbling]

What is happening?!

The walls! They're closing in on us!

This is why people shop online! Oh!

Come on, Will. Your child is about to be crushed!

Summon super inner dad strength!

[grunting, groaning]

-Dad... -Do something, for once!

[grunting] Come on! Provide!

-Dad... -Don't worry, Jack.

I'm gonna find a way outta here.

[grunting]

Dad!

There's a vent!

[air blowing]

A vent! Yes! Don't worry, Jack. I'll get us up there somehow.

Dad, just stop! I need you to actually listen to me.

You... need me?

Of course I need you. You're my dad!

But right now, we need to get out of here.

Quick, link arms with me!

Now climb! Go, go, go, go!

It's working! How'd you know how to do this?

Had to scale a cliff like this in Chile once.

Probably why I don't carry much stuff.

Cool.

Dad strength! [grunting]

You're always so calm in stressful situations.

Certainly didn't get that from me.

[chuckles] Yeah. Pretty cool

how you ripped that vent cover off though.

It felt cool!

Whoa! Super realistic fake skeleton!

Yeah... "fake."

Hey, Jack, sorry I was pushing a bed on you.

I just want you to feel at home with us.

You know what does make me feel at home?

Spending time with you.

Whoa!

Wait, Jack!

Come on. We can get through here.

[both screaming]

[laughing]

Aisle 8, remember?

All right, wise guy. Time to get us outta here.

Dad strength!

Nice goin', Dad.

[both] Whoa!

-[snakes hissing] -[tense music playing]

[rats squeaking]

[both] Ugh, I hate snakes and rats.

-[screw pops] -[both] Whoa!

-[creaking] -Okay, easy.

We'll just turn around slowly and find another--

[Will screams]

[toys squeaking]

They're rubber.

-I still kinda hate it though. -Me too.

[roaring]

[rumbling]

[both screaming]

Grab a helmet!

Find your foothold and climb!

Wow, Dad, I didn't know you could climb.

It's been a couple decades.

I'm in a lot of pain.

Hold on, Dad!

[screaming]

[growling]

[screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

[screaming turning to laughter]

[cheering]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[groans]

[laughter]

Hey, a hammock!

I think we got what you want. Let's go home.

Actually, Dad, let's go with the deluxe.

Whatever you want, bud.

[scanner beeps]

[register dings]

How is this place legal?

I know! That was awesome!

Hey, I know a death-trap department store

isn't exactly like scaling the cliffs of Chile, but...

Still a pretty great adventure with my dad.

[sniffling, chuckling]

Dad, did you need anything from Mike A's?

I got exactly what I needed, Jack-a-roo.

-"Jack-a-roo"? -Yeah, I don't know.

-Thought I'd try it out. -I like it.

[engine starting]

[laughing]

Mike A always gets the sale.

[groans]

Never get the timing right.

[theme music playing]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪