Original subtitles

[light music playing]

See anything you like?

Uh, seen it, seen it, seen it, seen it, seen it.

Have anything from the neo-fantasy movement?

Something like Suspensio, 1976?

Oh, bummer, man. I just sold my last copy to, uh...

There he is, that guy.

Beef?!

-[crashes] -[gasps]

Beef, are you okay?

Oh, hey, pal.

Can you believe it? Just nabbed the Suspensio on DVD.

Can't believe Chuck had a bootleg

of the bloodiest avant-garde dance film of all time.

I was looking for the same movie!

You should come over and watch it. Oh, wait.

It's approximately 384 minutes.

You'd have to stay over.

You want me to come watch it at your house?

Oh, yeah! Like a sleepover...

A... [gulps] sleepover?

No, that'll never work.

You couldn't handle it.

Why? I'm awesome at sleepovers! [chuckles nervously]

I've-I've won many prizes for sleeping over.

[quirky music playing]

Okay, let's do this.

5:25. Don't be late!

[gulps]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

[birds chirping]

Uh, what else? What else?

[groaning]

[grunting]

-Goin' somewhere? -[screams]

Uh, well, Beef invited me to a sleepover,

but I don't know what to pack or what we're gonna do.

All I know is where he lives because he wrote it on my arm.

-Um... -And what should I wear?

Summer social, or formal fun? This is too much stress.

I'm gonna call Beef, I can't make it.

Wait, Jack sleeps over at Beef's,

he won't be here, and if he's not here,

I get the night to myself, just like the good old days!

I can hear everything you're saying.

Sleepovers, you say? Nothin' to 'em.

I've done it more times than I can remember.

I could show you.

Ooh, yes, please.

So, let's pretend we're friends.

You come to my house, a place you've never been

and know nothing about.

Step one, get comfy.

[whimsical music playing]

So far, so good.

Got any scary stories?

Hmm. Well, this one time

when I was in Singapore a few years ago,

I was setting up an exterior shot for my mom

when, suddenly, a sinkhole opened up beneath me,

and I fell 15 feet into a pit of rats!

Hundreds of them, scurrying over my body.

I tried to scream for help, but before I knew it,

the rats were in my mouth!

[rats exclaiming]

I said spooked, not scarred for life.

This shouldn't be that hard.

Then what should I do?

I don't know. Be yourself.

[fly buzzing]

[breathes awkwardly]

Okay, maybe don't do that.

Let's quickly do steps 4 through 29.

[chomping]

[screams]

[upbeat music playing]

Listen, it'll be fine.

Just remember, say yes to everything.

[mellow music playing]

[bicycle bell dings]

[music fades]

[dramatic, tense music playing]

[inhales, sighs]

[music intensifying]

Jack!

Quick, let's go upstairs.

-[bell ringing] -Oh no.

-[hard rock music playing] -Oh!

You must be Jack!

I'm T-Bone, and this is Patty.

We're Beef's folks!

Beef never brings friends over!

Ow.

-[squeaks] -Bear hug!

We were starting to think you were embarrassed of us!

Jack and I were gonna go watch a DVD.

You can watch a DVD anytime!

[T-Bone] Yeah! We've got company!

This is a special occasion.

[whirring, gulps]

-Dad, stop doing that! -[bell tolls]

The time has come.

A new warrior has entered the arena.

Everyone's worth must be proven!

That can only mean...

The Meats of Strength!

[both] Meats of Strength?

Meats of Strength?!

Meats of Strength!

[all grunting]

Let's do this!

What the heck?

So, my parents are professional wrestlers,

and when guests come over for the first time,

we have a take-no-prisoners family rumble.

What do you say, Jack?

-Mmm... -[footsteps stomping]

It'll be fun!

Say yes to everything!

My answer is... yes.

[T-Bone] All right! Let's do this!

[unenthusiastically] Yay, Meats of Strength.

♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Jack's gone, Jack's gone ♪

♪ He's out of my hair ♪

♪ Bleep-bloop, bleep-bloop ♪

♪ La-la-la ♪

[laughs and sighs happily]

♪ And now I play my game ♪

[chips crunching]

-[message beeps] -Huh?

[game voiceover] You have zero friends online.

[sighs]

So if you're gonna survive this, a few things you gotta know.

That's Chevon, our resident bone-breaker.

The twins, Finn and Biff, they fight dirty.

Stu's an eye-gouger.

Mett is small but deadly.

[laughing]

Hatchee, the biggest, strongest one in the whole family.

-And Stu... -You said Stu already.

I mean other Stu.

-[raspy shouting] -[metal music playing]

[Beef] Just stay away from Stu.

You think you can handle it?

Yeah, Beef. [laughs nervously]

This isn't my first sleepover, remember?

Right.

It's not too late. You could still say no.

[Jack] He's testing you.

You bet your bippy I want to wrestle you

and your whole family!

I even have an idea for our costumes!

[mysterious music playing]

♪ Need a vacation? Drop off your Dalmatian ♪

♪ Goin' on a trip? ♪

♪ We'll care for your "scall-ip" ♪

Eh?

[bell tolls]

[thunderous drumming]

Board up the windows!

Batten down the hatches!

A storm's a-comin',

and ain't nobody safe.

Meats of Strength! Meats of strength!

The child we call Beef

has brought us a new challenger.

A challenger from...

Uh, hey, Jack, where are you from?

Currently residing down the street--

From the bowels of the underworld!

Sent here to destroy each and every one of us.

I give you...

the Dark Angels of Suspensio!

[crowd cheering]

[light music playing]

Nice.

And here to defend their house,

my ornery offspring,

the tag teams of terror,

the spine-splitters...

[grunts]

...the grave-diggers,

and the twisted twins.

[grunting]

You got this, babies!

[bell dings]

You sure about this, Jack?

My answer is... [weakly] yes.

[gasps] Do I hear some Go-Stop going on?

Seems like some good action.

Deal me in, ladies!

Sorry. Full table.

[sighs]

[hard rock music playing]

[grunts]

[screams]

[screaming]

Jack! Are you okay?

[voice vibrating] I'm good. This is great.

[music stops]

Sure am glad my brother isn't here

to ruin this good time I'm having.

I wonder how the weirdo's doing.

[grunting]

Jack, is this getting too rough for you?

We can stop if you want.

But look how much fun we're having.

So you're saying you want to continue?

My answer is yes.

[all chanting] Hatchee! Hatchee! Hatchee!

Hatchee! Hatchee! Hatchee!

-[slams] -Oh!

-Oh! -[goat bleating]

-[ears ringing] -[groans]

[guttural screaming]

[smacking, groaning]

[groaning]

Beef! Beef, are you there?

I'm here, Jack.

Beef... I've never done one of these before.

I was starting to pick up on that.

No, I mean, like, a sleepover.

I thought I could convince you I'd done it before, but...

I only acted excited

because I thought that's what you wanted.

I'm not having fun.

I just wanna watch our movie.

I don't care about the Meats of Strength.

I just wanted to watch our movie too.

This is unheard of.

I've never seen this side of Beef before.

Mayhems aren't known for their sensitivity.

But the strength of their friendship, it's off the charts.

[bright music playing]

[laughing]

It's beautiful.

[crying]

[choking]

[grunting]

[shimmering sound]

Whoa! My beautiful boy.

Mom, Dad, I'm done with Meats of Strength.

I just wanna watch movies with my friend Jack.

I never bring anyone around because they leave in a cast.

That's our bad.

We assumed you loved it as much as us.

Do all you kids feel this way?

[all] No!

May I have this dance?

My pleasure.

Lil, lights out, sweetie.

[gentle music playing]

[exhales softly, lips smacking]

Hey, ready to make this an all-nighter?

-Suspensio! -Suspensio!

[goat bleating]

[upbeat music playing]

Lily, please, I'm begging.

We could go to any other restaurant.

It's my week to pick, and I pick Dead Ed's.

Do I complain when it's your guys' turn to pick?

-Every time. -What's so bad about Dead Ed's?

It's a dive.

Bad food, worse service.

That's a town landmark you're talking about.

Founded the same year as Canyon Valley.

Becoming a local is all about finding these hidden gems.

You can't become a local. You're either from somewhere or not.

It takes a born Canyon Valleyan to... [smacks lip]

...truly appreciate our culture.

The only "culture" you'll get at Dead Ed's

is a bacterial infection.

-[laughs] -Ha. Nice one.

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

[engine stops]

[soft music playing on radio]

[low note playing repeatedly]

[laughing creepily]

-[sniffing] What is that smell? -[toilet flushing]

[sniffing] Authenticity.

Let's eat!

Umma, where you goin'?

I touched doorknob. I have to wash germ off my hand.

Service tonight is deader than Ed.

Oh, I can go find a waiter.

No, you don't. They know me here.

-Why don't both of you go? -Bet I find one first!

Oh, excuse me, Lillian.

That's not what it's short for!

[both] Waiter! Waiter, waiter!

Whoa.

Is that Dead Ed?

"Take a swig to receive Dead Ed's seal of authenticity

to be a true local of Canyon Valley."

-What's in there anyway? -Dead Ed's pickled toe.

All the real locals take a sip.

-So you drank Ed's toe juice? -Of course.

I understand if you're too grossed out to try it.

Our traditions may seem strange to an outsider.

[Jack laughs]

If I take two sips,

does that make me twice as local as you?

If you're gonna do it, then do it.

[groaning]

[glugging]

Ah.

-Easy. -Give me that!

[bubbling, sizzling]

Do it.

Twice the local, as if.

[glugging]

[groaning]

What do you gotta say about that?

Jack?

[making wacky sounds]

[voice echoing] What is going on?

Something's wrong with my stomach.

[groaning]

Help me.

[mellow music playing]

[voice] Who summons me?

[gasps]

Oi! Down here!

[quirky music playing]

Think you're a worthy local, eh?

Well, you wouldn't be the first.

[grunts]

Me nail done popped off!

Can't have ye looking at me naked toe body.

Now, follow me to find the seal of authenticity.

Don't touch me, son.

Now, let's get moving. The truth awaits.

[grunts]

Toe?

Toe.

[gasps]

[eerie music playing]

[whirring]

[fly buzzing]

The kitchen, where our journey begins.

[screaming]

'Scuse me.

Looks like someone abandoned their kids here.

-Again. -Aw, poor kiddos.

-They look sick with something. -[groaning]

You don't think it was my cookin', do you?

Oh, I'm such a failure!

Hey, that's my best friend you're talkin' about.

Oh, you mean it?

Ha! Bring it in, buddy!

[monsters screaming]

Flee, children!

To the cellar, quickly!

[groaning]

-[panting] -[dramatic music playing]

Down here!

[grunts]

[music ends]

[groans] What's taking so long?

Should we go find them? I've got a bad feeling.

Min-ju, relax. It's been five minutes.

It's not like they could get lost.

Okay, we're lost. The toe ditched us.

Pssh. We don't need that dumb nub.

I got locals' intuition, baby. Huh?

Hmm...

-Right! -Left!

My gut says right, Jack!

I don't trust your dumb gut, Lily.

Stand down, worm!

Your dad's a worm!

[Lily] We have the same dad!

[Jack] You have the same dad!

Fine, whatever. We'll flip a coin.

Heads, we go right. Tails...

-we also go right. -Wait, what?

What's that mean?

I don't know.

[screams]

Come back here, little guy!

Heads!

Now let's go right like I-- What?

-Uh, Lily? -Whoa.

What's that?

[majestic music playing]

-The seal! -The seal!

-My coin found it! -I saw it first!

[grunting]

[laughing]

No, you don't!

[grunting]

[roaring]

[screaming]

[muffled screaming]

[screaming]

I can't decide what to order.

Ooh, what's he having? Looks yummy.

I'll go ask him.

Hello, my good sir!

Best keep walkin', cone nose.

Yup!

-So... -Just get the special.

-[panting] -[dramatic music playing]

Parkour!

[panting]

I think we finally shook it!

-[smacks] -[groans]

[groaning]

Lily, where are you?

Lily?

-Jack? -What the...?

Jack? Jack?!

Lil?

-Jack! -Lil!

[panting]

Ugh. My guts feel like they've been through a meat grinder.

How you doin' over there, Lil?

[Lily] Thanks for saving me back there.

Jack, I never drank the toe before.

And I don't even like the food here.

I'm not a local.

I'm a fraud.

Don't say that. This town is part of you.

Me, I'm not from anywhere.

But you've lived.

Without Canyon Valley, I've got nothing.

It's your home. No one can take that from you.

I'll never have one.

I guess we're both just trying to prove we belong.

Two sides of the same coin.

Wait. We literally are!

Like... we're made out of half the same person!

I've never thought of it like that.

We're...

-Bound by blood. -Bound by blood.

[shattering]

[majestic music playing]

Let's get that seal!

Wait. [groans]

I forgot what food tastes like.

It's too late for us.

I hope the kids are in a better place.

[rumbling]

We gotta get outta here!

Run!

[panting, screaming]

-[thud] -[groans]

[flame crackling]

Tallyho! You've made it!

Come! Dead Ed awaits!

[cackling]

Hehe!

[ominous music playing]

-Dead Ed?! -Dead Ed?!

[raspy groaning]

Are ye the darin' youths

what conquered me maze

and brought home me favorite toe?

[footsteps stomping]

Finally, a successor worthy of me legacy.

Now, which one of ye wants me seal of authenticity

and be dubbed the one true local?

One of us? We got here together.

There's only one way to be a local,

and only one can embody it.

-[Lily] That's not true. -Huh?

Jack's no less a Canyon Valleyan than me.

Thanks, Lil, but you wanted this forever.

-You deserve it. -Nuts to that.

Who died and made this poser King of Canyon Valley?

Uh, me. I died.

So... one of ye step up to claim yer title

or nobody gets it!

I'm good with that if you are.

I got nothin' to prove.

Peace.

[dramatic music playing]

-Whoa! -[evil laughter, roaring]

Real sorry about this, chaps.

If you're not a true local,

then you must face the consequences!

-[roaring] -[screaming]

[ears ringing]

[muffled screaming]

[ears ringing]

[groans] What happened?

Was... all that just a toe-induced fever dream?

Wait, where's that toe anyway?

-What the...? -[sniffs]

It's just a carrot.

So we didn't do anything?

We just sat in a basement and opened up and...

-Bonded. -...bonded.

[vomiting]

I'm prepared to tell no one and take it to our graves.

I won't tell a soul what happened here.

-It was his fault! -It was her fault!

[snoring]

[groans] Cones are beautiful, okay?!

Where have you two been?

More importantly, you found a waiter.

We can finally order. I will take the...

Gonna stop you right there. I'm a sous-chef, not a waiter.

So I can't take your order

and I wouldn't take your order anyway.

Your punk kids threw up in my locker,

made a mess in the kitchen,

and knocked over all the produce in the meat freezer!

You and your family are banned for life!

-They did what?! -Finally! Thank you!

Eh, we probably went a bit overboard.

-Serves us right. -Good call, sir.

All right, take your complimentary stickers and go.

This was the seal of authenticity? [scoffs]

Dead Ed sure was cheap.

Hey, it's still my week to pick. What do you say we order pizza?

Couldn't agree more.

It's Canyon Valley style.

Very thin crust.

You probably won't like it.

I've had real pizza, in Italia.

Crust so thin you can't even see it from the side.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[ending theme playing]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪