Original subtitles

Hey, Mom!

I'm five days in and, wait for it...

I'm feeling less like a guest!

My toothbrush made it into the family mug!

-[loud crash] -[Halmoni] Okay, let's go!

[speaking Korean]

What the what?

-[sharp inhale] -[whistle blows]

[Halmoni] Go, go, go!

[straining]

[speaking Korean]

[action music playing]

[all yelling]

[gasping]

Having fun without me?

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together, we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪ [echoes]

[whistle blows]

Test over!

Good and bad job.

What am I missing? Count me in!

No, you are our guest.

We can't put you in such danger.

Best if you sit this mission out, Jack.

But what is the mission, anyway?

Every year, our local Korean market

receives a shipment of special items...

[man] We at Woori World are proud to announce

our limited time pop-up of specialties from Jeju Island.

Hi there, I'm Jonathan Chulnam Hwang,

owner of Woori World.

Ahh! This part isn't very informational. [chuckles]

He and Mom used to date before I was born.

-Dad's weird about it. -I'm not being weird.

-You're being weird! -Dad! Stop here!

[Jonathan] And now, the famous Jeju confection

everyone's been waiting for.

Sold out everywhere, but I've been able to secure

five boxes of Hallasands.

These rarities will be hidden

throughout the store for you to find.

Shh!

One box per Woori World family,

and the family must be market members.

Woori World on 7th & Lemoyne!

The Hallasand... so elusive!

We've never even tasted it.

[deflating sound]

All of this is for some... cookie? Huh?

"Some cookie"?

It's edible art with top-notch ingredients!

It literally will make your soul leave your body!

We've been attempting this mission for years

with no success.

But you've never had meee!

Let me prove to you that I have what it takes.

-Hmm... -[stone scraping]

Then you can be...

-[dramatic stinger] -...decoy!

-He's too young! -No, Halmoni!

Alright! I won't let you down.

[Lily] You fool!

You have no idea what you're in for.

[suspenseful music playing]

Well! [scoffs] Look who's here.

Young Soon.

Have you met my son?

He's a lawyer.

Hurt? Call Bert.

Cool story.

What's Min's job?

Oh, yes!

She wipes chicken butts! [derisive laughter]

[chuckles] Good one, Mother.

They're called cloacas.

Sure, sure.

And... who's this young man?

You know this is a family-only competition, right?

Our family business is none of your business.

[scoffs] Well.

Good luck then!

[in Korean]

Never bow to your enemy!

Uh... yes, Halmoni.

[in Korean]

[ominous music playing]

[heartbeat pounding]

[buzzer sounds]

[clamoring and yelling]

Okay! Be ready for first announcement.

Welcome, customers!

The first box of Hallasands will be hidden in...

[alarm blaring]

...the produce section!

This is what we trained for!

[all] Wylde Paks!

[meekly] Wylde Paks.

[yelling]

Uh... Uh...

[splatting]

Help me!

Did you hear about the Jeju-do event today?

Yes! Perfect day to mingle with shoppers!

[eerie screeching]

This is nuts!

Jack, get over here!

-[stone scraping] -[screeching]

[produce splatting]

Watch it, kid!

Fire.

[whistling]

[Lily] Get down!

[feedback whining]

[muffled] Jack! Jack! Wake up!

Ugh... Where am I?

This is Woori World! Pull yourself together!

-[produce whistling] -[gasps] Get down!

-[splatting and booming] -No!

-[groaning] -[flatulence]

Ugh! What is this smell?

It's durian.

Smells like [speaks Korean]. Eh?

[woman] Whoo! Yeah!

I found the first box! Whoo!

[in Korean]

Congratulations to the Chois!

-[alarm blaring] -Four boxes left.

Why not pig out on our samples?

You know what I mean!

-[customers clamoring] -To the free sample section!

Now! Now!

Wait! What about Min?

Leave her! She is dead weight!

Thanks for staying by my side--

She's right, sweetie. The cookies are more important.

-I'm sorry! -[groaning] No...

[suspenseful music playing]

[customers screaming]

[gobbling loudly]

Jack, check trash can!

Um, sure.

[oinking, squealing]

[Jonathan] ...pig out on our samples!

-[gasps] -[dramatic music playing]

It's the pig!

[squealing]

The pig! Jack, it's on the pig!

Get the pig!

[snorting]

I got it! I got it!

[screeching]

[whimpers] I don't got it! I don't got it!

Throw me, Lily!

I'm coming!

[Young Soon] No, you're not!

Aah!

[grunting] Oof!

[groans]

[Jonathan] Nice work, Lee family!

Now go enjoy that Hallasand!

Three boxes left.

Where can the next one be?

I hear that the red tilefish from the Jeju

also loves the Hallasand.

Mwah!

-[Will] Seafood, let's go! -[screaming]

Okay, you guys take the tanks. I'll check frozen fish.

-[uneasy music playing] -[eerie slithering]

That sound...

[in Korean]

Jack, I need you to run decoy.

Don't let those aunties get close or I'm a goner!

Hello, young man!

[in Korean]

-So handsome boy! -What's your backup career?

Are you Steven Spielberg?

Oh! [chuckles] Thank you!

Where did you learn Korean?

Oh, my sister's part Korean. Oops.

[in eerie voice] Sister?!

No, no, no!

[Jack screams]

[gasps]

Oh, no!

Yeah!

[Jonathan] Two Hallasands left!

-[Will] Jack, look out! -[gasps]

[echoing grunt]

[groaning] I've... been... gochujang'd.

[Jonathan] One Hallasand left!

Nice one, Kims!

The last Hallasand could be anywhere!

Don't worry, Dad. There's still one box left.

[coughing, groaning] Forget it, Jack.

It's not worth it. [wheezing]

It's... just... a... cookie.

-[groans] -[Halmoni grunting]

-[both grunting] -[somber music plays]

[groaning]

[aunties speaking Korean]

[footstep echoes]

Looks like he could use a hand.

-W-w-wait, not you! Not you! -Shh...

It's gonna be okay.

[Will] Don't... tell... Min...

[cracking]

I guess it's time I shop... till I drop!

[grunting]

[epic orchestral music playing]

[zapping]

[thudding]

[grunting]

[gasps]

Yes!

-[music halts] -[sneakers squeaking]

-[in Korean] -[epic music resumes]

[inhales, whistles]

Are you Steven Spielberg?

-Ooh! -That's me!

It's okay, I got you.

Wylde Paks, I have something to say.

I was wrong.

The Hallasand isn't just some cookie.

It's our dreams, our mission, our right!

It's our right to enjoy Hallasand tonight,

together!

So if you're with me,

meet in the freezer section

so we can get our Hallasands!

[all] Wylde Paks!

I saw one of the mascots on top of the freezer section.

That's gotta be where the last Hallasand is!

[upbeat rock music playing]

-[Will groans] -[athletic grunting]

[gasps]

-[dramatic note resounds] -[twinkling]

[cheering]

-[customers snarling] -[ominous music playing]

[in Korean]

No, son! Don't be a hero!

[chuckles] Hero?

I'm no hero.

I'm just the decoy!

[echoing] Decoy!

[auntie in Korean]

-[triumphant music playing] -[crowd cheering]

Oh yeah! We did it!

[woman] Congratulations!

[Young Soon] Wait!

I thought the rules state

one Hallasand per family.

This boy is not part of their family!

They must be disqualified.

-[crowd gasps] -[gentle music plays]

Wrong! Jack is part of Wylde Pak family.

He is one of us.

[sniffles] Min, I'm so happy for you.

You have a beautiful family.

-So jealous of you, Michael. -Uh... thanks, dude.

[scoffs] I will get you next time.

[upbeat music playing]

Pfft! Can't believe he called me Michael.

Ugh, he is so annoying!

[sniffs]

Are you ready?

[all] Mmm...

[zapping]

Hey, this is pretty good.

[zapping]

[Jack] Unlike places where food is merely for survival,

breakfast in suburban America

can be unnecessarily overwhelming.

One bite! [chomps]

Lily, no one-bite at breakfast.

-Sorry. -Hey, did you guys see this?

The Groom and Board got its first negative Welp review.

Oh no! We lost our perfect five-star streak.

Trust me, it's worth it.

Three stars from "FlamingoFan85"

who apparently has never been treated like that

"IN MY LIFE."

-All caps. [laughs] -Let me see that.

"This is not how we groom a flamingo in my house."

So dramatic!

What did we allegedly do wrong?

It was probably something I messed up.

Darn cameraman hands.

Nah, don't sweat some random review.

Not everyone is born with talent like I am.

Get a load of this.

"And when I asked for the bill I--"

Um, never mind.

You guys catch the game last night?

When they asked for the bill, what?

Whoa, what's that? Hyah!

"I greeted the young lady wearing a red beanie"?!

This slanderous hit piece is about me?!

[birds screeching]

[heavy panting]

I thought you don't sweat reviews.

Who's sweating? I just think we should consider suing.

Sets a bad precedent otherwise.

Aah! I'm not sweating!

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together, we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪ [echoes]

-[in Korean] -[sentimental music plays]

Come on, Soyoon, what are you doing?

[Lily grumbles]

Another three-star performance, Lil.

Still thinking about that review?

No! What makes you say that?

Why does some stranger's opinion bother you?

What bothers me is smearing the family business,

the family name, with zero explanation!

This FlamingoFan,

-if that is their real name... -It's not.

...didn't give a single valid critique.

What do you expect?

I bet their other reviews are just as lame.

That's a great idea, Jack!

If I can dig into their post history,

I can deduce their identity

and confront them in person! [cackles]

Lily, trust me, you do not wanna go down this road.

This is just an objective exploration of justice that,

when I secure those five stars,

will bring balance to the universe.

Lil, I've seen where this kind of obsession can take people!

And you know what?

It's actually kind of fascinating.

Get outta the shot, Paul.

Believe it or not, there's kinda a lot of flamingos in town.

Don't you guys have some sort of customer database?

If we wanna narrow it down to one suspect,

we gotta establish a profile.

Wait, "we"?

Are you just gonna watch

Halmoni's K-dramas all day again?

-No! -Then buckle up, Jackie boy!

-You're in it now! -[digital trilling]

[FlamingoFan] I ordered two cribs.

I received a dozen two-by-fours.

The business was a van on a street corner.

One star. My no-foam half-caf frap

had half foam and no caf.

At my high-powered office job,

I'd be fired for such a blunder. Two stars.

I love my kids but they don't respect me! One star!

Is this how you treat a loyal customer?

...never been treated like that!

A divine experience.

Heavenly Poundcake Palace!

Five stars!

[Lily] Okay, it's not a name,

but it's as close as we'll get online.

Only one thing left to do.

Carefully consider the evidence before doing anything rash?

Exactly! Visit each shop and interrogate everyone we meet!

[dramatic stinger]

Look, if I had a nickel for every person who said

my cribbery was a scam,

I might be able to go legit.

And can you give us some names?

Preferably every name.

Uhhh...

Chuck?

Oh, that's my name.

Never mind.

[dramatic stinger]

What can I get you kids today?

The full name and address of everyone

who's eaten here in the last six months.

Obviously I can't do that.

I'll take a double trouble poundcake. Thanks, Sharon.

[dramatic stinger]

You wanna know if I've had high-maintenance customers

complain for no reason?

Gee, let me rack my brain.

Save the sarcasm for your lit professor.

This is serious.

Sorry, she's had a rough day.

What if I were to bump up your tip?

[buzzing meekly]

Student loans...

[birds chirping]

I feel like we're further away

from finding FlamingoFan than when we started.

So, what? We're never gonna find FlamingoFan85?

Which is totally fine,

because it hasn't shattered my confidence or anything.

I'm good!

Maybe it's for the best

you never actually find FlamingoFan85.

What can you even do at this point?

Throw some kind of exotic pet owner party?

Get all the suspects in one place,

and have a previous relationship with the proprietors

so there's plausible pretext for the whole--

You're right!

No! Lily, no!

It's not that we shouldn't be doing this,

it's that we've been going about it all wrong!

We?!

Entrapment! Of course!

This is your best idea yet, J-man! [laughs]

Oh, for goodness sake, Jack, turn it off!

That review really inspired me

to get more involved with the shop,

but I couldn't figure out how.

That's where Jack comes in.

Hit 'em with it, J-man.

-Customer appreciation party. -At the house!

Everyone brings their exotic pets.

-I've heard enough. -[sighs]

-[Will] Great idea! -[Min] Wow!

So nice to see you put your heads together!

Let's start decorating!

How 'bout a theme? Black tie?

Too obvious. Ooh, white tie!

[chuckling]

FlamingoFan's as good as caught!

Heh, heh, heh!

[indistinct chatter]

[ostrich squawks]

[upbeat music playing]

[llama brays]

[horse whinnies]

Min, we have outdone ourselves.

Credit to Lily and Jack.

Heads up, coming through!

[snake hissing]

-[in Korean] -[roars]

Excuse me!

Jack! Flamingo, five o'clock.

Ooh! [whimpers]

Good evening, sir. Canape?

Mmm, yummy!

Would you like to take a few extra for your children?

[sadly] Oh... I don't have any.

[flamingo squawks]

[grumbles] Airtight alibi.

Hang in there, buddy.

I bet they're running late.

I'll wait out front here until they show up.

Buh-bye!

[Lily grumbles]

[dejected sigh] They're not coming, huh?

-Canape? -[chomping]

This case is officially cold.

I guess I'm stuck with this review forever.

I think I just need to... [shuddering] ...move on.

It's for the best.

Can you say that one more time into the camera?

Alright, alright, don't get-- [gasps]

Wait a minute!

-[slurping sound] -[baby giggling]

-[crunching sound] -[rock music plays]

Oh wow, they actually match the profile 100%.

-The case is hot again! Bye! -[leaves rustle]

That lady with the armadillo forgot her gift bag!

-[panting] -[grunts] Aah! Curb! [panting]

[upbeat music playing]

[engine starts]

She's getting away! [panting]

[grunting]

[Lily grumbling]

-[cat screeches] -Hah!

[panting]

[soft country song plays on radio]

[upbeat music continues]

[groans]

[both panting]

[soft country song continues]

[snarls, grunts]

[yelps]

[soft country song continues]

[mobility scooter whirring]

-[upbeat music continues] -[Jack babbling]

-[Lily snarls] -[Jack babbling]

-[leaves rustling] -[cans clanging]

Come on!

[suspenseful music playing]

[Jack] We lost 'em.

We're not giving up now!

Come on, Lil, how is this worth the effort?

It's a review! Who cares?

Apparently, I do, Jack!

Turns out I'm not confident at all.

I only thought I was awesome

'cause other people told me I was.

Now that someone finally said I'm really not,

maybe they're right.

[gentle music playing]

You can't please everyone,

but as far as I'm concerned,

four out of five stars ain't bad, Lil.

[sobbing] Three out of five!

You know what I meant.

Let's just go home.

How the heck do you get outta this place?

-[squawking] -[both gasp]

I can't believe it! We found 'em!

Wait!

What if it's another random flamingo owner?

We've been burned before.

[dramatic music plays]

Oh yeah, it's her.

-[doorbell chimes] -So what's the game plan?

I just wanna plead for my dignity, my humanity.

Does anyone deserve two stars be revoked without due process?

-[door handle jiggles] -[eerie music plays]

[both gasping]

-[soft country song plays] -[gasps] Well!

If it isn't the girl who gave ol' Flammy

the best pluck 'n' tuck she's ever had!

Did you say... best?

It was a near-perfect experience.

A solid 3.9.

You know it's out of five, right?

Don't be silly!

Five stars is only for the good Lord

-and The Poundcake Palace. -[squawk]

So did I even do anything wrong?

Not as far as I'm concerned!

I have never been treated like that in all my life.

Certainly not how I've ever groomed Flammy at home.

Mwah! A flawless three-star experience.

[deflating sound]

[manic laughter]

Uh, Lily?

[manic laughter continues]

[laughter echoes]

[laughs]

What happened back there? Did you finally snap?

You know you didn't get the review changed.

Honestly, Jack, should've listened to you long ago.

Oh no, you really have lost it.

Hearing all that nonsense out loud,

everything kinda made sense again.

Nobody can tell me how to feel about myself

'cause I know me better than they do.

And let's be honest, I'm great.

So you're just gonna accept that review?

After everything you put us through to get here?

Aren't you happy? You were right, I was wrong.

This is a big Jack W.

Four stars means five stars

but nobody gets four stars either?

Where's the logic?

It's just an online review, Jack.

[upbeat theme music playing]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together, we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪ [echoes]

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ Together, we can't lose ♪

♪ Me and you, me and you ♪