Original subtitles

- TONIGHT THE HOUSEWIVES VAULT IS OPEN.

- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. - [laughs]

- WITH ALL NEW FOOTAGE FROM BEVERLY HILLS.

[grunting]

- MORE FROM FABULOUS HAWAII...

- MWAH.

- KIM DISHES SOME SURPRISING DIRT.

- GET OVER IT. GET A LIFE.

- ADRIENNE AND PAUL'S RELATIONSHIP

HITS A BUMP IN THE ROAD.

- DO ME A FAVOR. JUST KIND OF RELAX, PLEASE.

CAN YOU RELAX? - [sighs]

[cell phone chimes] - HELLO?

- LISA GETS FRIGHTENING NEWS.

- OKAY, YOU'RE SCARING ME.

- I HAVE NEVER [bleep] HURT CAMILLE GRAMMER!

I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED, NOT HER! - GUESS WHAT?

- HAVE ANOTHER COCKTAIL, MY DEAR.

- AND EXPLOSIVE, UNSEEN FOOTAGE

FROM BRANDI'S MALIBU PARTY.

- WE'RE LEAVING. - STOP!

- ALL THAT AND MORE

ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS: LOST FOOTAGE.

- DON'T PUSH IT. - LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT.

[upbeat music]

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,

BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.

- I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY,

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

- IN PART THREE OF THE REUNION,

MAURICIO LET US KNOW HIS ISSUES WITH KIM WERE NOT RESOLVED.

BUT THERE'S ANOTHER PART OF THE STORY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN.

LORI FROM ESSEX, VERMONT SAID,

"MAURICIO, HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH KIM NOW?

DID SHE EVER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?"

- WELL, YOU KNOW, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH KIM

I THINK RIGHT NOW IS IN LIMBO.

A FORMAL APOLOGY HASN'T OCCURRED.

I WOULD ASSUME THAT, YOU KNOW, ONCE KIM IS ALL GOOD,

THAT WE'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE A SIT-DOWN CONVERSATION,

AND I REALLY HOPE THAT WE'RE BE ABLE TO WORK IT OUT

BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT FUN

HAVING A FEUD WITH A FAMILY MEMBER

OR HAVING ANY ISSUES WITH A FAMILY MEMBER.

SO I REALLY DO HOPE THAT WE'RE ABLE TO WORK THAT OUT.

- NOW LET'S HEAR WHAT KIM HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

- WHERE ARE YOU AND MAURICIO NOW?

HAVE YOU TWO MENDED FENCES?

- WHY DO YOU GOT TO GO THERE?

[laughs]

- WELL, BECAUSE WHEN WE LAST SAW YOU IN HAWAII,

IT WAS-- IT WAS A LITTLE TENSE.

IT WAS HIS--IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION.

AND IT SEEMED LIKE HE WAS FED UP.

- WHEN YOU'RE 36 HOURS LATE TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY,

IF YOU FESS UP--

- THERE'S NOTHING TO FESS UP WITH, MAURICE.

- YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF.

- I'M FINE.

HE WAS FED UP? - YEAH.

- NO.

- SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE BOTH FED UP.

- YEAH. THAT'S BETTER.

LET'S STICK IT ON MY SIDE.

I'M JUST--YOU KNOW WHAT?

TRUTHFULLY...

[sighs]

IT'S MY SISTER'S HUSBAND.

SO WE'LL JUST CALL IT THAT, AND YOU--

IT'S NO SECRET I'M MUCH MORE OF--

I'M REALLY CLOSE TO MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, RICK.

UM...

IT'S KYLE'S HUSBAND,

AND, UM, SO...

IT'S ALL I'M GOING TO SAY, REALLY.

- DOESN'T SOUND GREAT.

DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU'VE MENDED FENCES.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT, HONESTLY.

I HAVE, LIKE, A WEIRD FEELING--

- IS THIS RESIDUAL

FROM THE WHOLE STUFF THAT WE ONLY HAVE HEARD LITTLE BITS

ABOUT RELATING TO THE HOUSE?

- I THINK HONESTLY, THERE WAS--THIS IS A BUILDUP.

IT'S A BUILDUP.

AND HONESTLY, THE FINAL THING FOR ME WAS IN HAWAII.

IT WAS SO--SO UNCALLED FOR.

AND TOO MUCH HAS BUILT UP FOR ME IN THE YEARS

FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE DID IN HAWAII.

I JUST THINK-- - WHAT DID HE DO IN HAWAII?

- IT'S JUST THE WAY, YOU KNOW,

"THE TRU--THE TRUTH, THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE."

WHATEVER. I MEAN, COME ON.

- ONE OF THE PHILOSOPHIES THAT I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH,

IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW, JUST BEING TRUE.

SO HERE'S TO THE TRUTH. CHEERS.

- I'M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.

I WAS SO OVER THAT WHOLE THING.

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND

HIS FRUSTRATION WITH YOU AT THAT POINT?

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE'S--HE SHOULD'VE BEEN ENJOYING

HIS BIRTHDAY, FOR GOODNESS' SAKES.

NOT WORRYING ABOUT WHERE I AM.

COME ON. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

HAVE FUN. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

WHAT, YOU SAID YOU WANTED--

OH, WORRYING ABOUT WHERE YOUR SISTER WAS?

AW, GET OVER IT. GET A LIFE.

- IT SOUNDS--IT SOUNDS LIKE THERE MAYBE SOME--

SOME WORK TO BE DONE IN THAT RELATIONSHIP.

- WELL, I APOLOGIZED WHEN I GOT THERE.

- DO YOU THINK HE OWES YOU AN APOLOGY?

- FOR THE WAY HE CAME AT ME,

AND CAME AT ME, AND CAME AT ME?

HE--HE CAN HAVE IT. HE CAN HAVE IT.

AND, YOU KNOW, HONESTLY, I DON'T WANT--

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THIS FIGHT AND THIS APOLOGY,

AND I OWE YOU AND YOU OWE ME, YOU KNOW.

I'M SORRY I WAS LATE. I'M SORRY.

AND I'VE SAID THAT. I APOLOGIZED MORE THAN ONCE.

AND IT STILL DIDN'T SEEM TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, SO.

- I THINK THAT'S A GREAT PLACE TO END IT.

AND JUST CONGRATULATIONS. - THANKS.

- AND--AND I WISH YOU CONTINUED RECOVERY

AND--AND HEALTH.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANDY. - GREAT TO SEE YOU.

- YOU TOO. - THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS.

- THANK YOU.

- WHILE MAURICIO WAITS FOR KIM'S APOLOGY,

HERE'S A GRUDGE MATCH HE CAN RESOLVE.

- WHAT'S UP, MY BROTHER? - YOU'RE LATE.

- SO HOW'VE YOU BEEN?

YOU WORKING HARD? - I'M WORKING SO HARD.

MY WIFE IS MAKING ME WORK FOR A LIVING NOW.

- OH, NEW BALLS?

WHAT, ARE YOU THINKING YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT ME OR SOMETHING?

- TRYING THE NEW BALL TRICK ON ME?

- NO CONTEST, MAN.

- YOU KNOW, KEN AND I LIKE TO TRASH-TALK A LOT.

HE'S A LOT OLDER THAN I AM,

SO HE WANTS TO SAY THAT HE WIPES THE COURT WITH ME AND WHATEVER,

BUT WE BOTH KNOW WHO WINS.

- I DON'T THINK SO.

- [grunts] LIKE THAT, TAKE THAT.

[grunting]

- SHOOT.

I'M BETTER THAN MAURICIO.

- [grunts]

[groans]

- LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO SLOW IT DOWN.

- YOU SLOW DOWN? - [laughs]

LIKE THAT? - PLEASE.

- LIKE, IS THAT BETTER?

- YEAH, IT IS. NOW MUCH BETTER.

- [grunts, laughs]

[laughs]

[cell phone chimes]

- HELLO?

BRENDA, CAN YOU CALL ME BACK IN AN HOUR?

I'M IN A MEETING. THANK YOU.

- THAT WAS THE MAYOR OF BEVERLY HILLS.

- [laughs]

- I'VE NEVER LET HIM WIN.

I DON'T THINK HE'S EVER WON A MATCH AGAINST ME.

- LET'S GO OVER THAT THING IN THE MIDDLE.

- MAYBE A GAME, BUT CERTAINLY NOT A MATCH.

[laughs]

[grunting]

WHOOPS.

- [laughs]

- GOOD GAME, BRO.

- WELL PLAYED. - THANK YOU.

- FROM HELEN IN EVERGREEN, COLORADO,

SHE'S WORRIED.

HELEN SAYS, "PAUL, YOU AND ADRIENNE BICKERING

"ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH, BUT THIS SEASON,

"THERE SEEMED TO BE A MORE SERIOUS TONE TO IT.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH YOU TWO?"

- ABSOLUTELY.

I MEAN, HELEN, SORRY FOR ME TO SAY THIS TO YOU,

BUT THAT WAS ONLY THE FIRST EPISODE.

OTHER THAN THAT, WE HAD OUR USUAL BICKERING,

WHICH IS ACTUALLY VERY MILD.

AND, UM, WE LOVE EACH OTHER VERY, VERY MUCH.

AND THERE'S NO TROUBLE IN THE FUTURE.

IT'S THE WAY IT IS. IT'S PERFECT.

- AWW.

- YOU CONCUR? - I DO.

- EXCELLENT. - YEAH.

- ALEXIS FROM FORT SMITH, ARKANSAS

IS WORRIED AS WELL, AND WANTS ADRIENNE

TO GIVE THREE REASONS WHY SHE MARRIED PAUL.

- OBVIOUSLY, THE FIRST REASON IS I LOVE HIM.

HE'S BRILLIANT, AND, UM... - THANK YOU.

- WE HAVE A CHEMISTRY THAT-- IT WORKS FOR US.

- OKAY, THAT'S TRUE. - PEOPLE LOOK AT US--

- AND, YEAH, BUT IT WORKS.

- THREE. - I GAVE YOU THREE.

HE'S BEAUTIFUL, HE'S SMART, AND OUR CHEMISTRY WORKS.

- VERY GOOD. OKAY.

DOMINIC FROM JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA, WANTS TO KNOW

"PAUL, HAVE YOU AND ADRIENNE EVER GONE TO COUPLES THERAPY?"

- YES. - [laughter]

- YES, VERY GOOD QUESTION.

- WE HAVE.

- UM, WELL, FIRST OF ALL, BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED,

WE HAD TO GO TO COUPLES THERAPY.

- OKAY.

- THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS I THINK WE HAD TO DO FOR--

WHAT WAS IT? - TO GET MARRIED.

- IN A CATHOLIC WEDDING, RIGHT? - YEAH.

- RIGHT. - OKAY.

- AND I THINK WHAT WE DO, YOU KNOW, WITH EACH OTHER

IS WE PRETTY MUCH GIVE THERAPY TO EACH OTHER.

NOW SOMETIMES, THE TONE MAY BE DIFFERENT,

BUT WE'LL BOTH DO IS WE'LL GET IT OUT QUICK.

- YOU COMMUNICATE LIKE JEWS. - RIGHT.

EXACTLY. [laughter]

- IT'S THAT LEBANESE BACKGROUND. - THAT'S EXACTLY--THEY LOVE US.

- WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY? - EXACTLY.

- I HAVE NOT SEEN KEN WALKING.

HAVE YOU? AT ALL.

- I SAW HIM THE OTHER DAY. HE WAS WEARING PURPLE SWEATS.

AND, UH, GIG--GIG--UM, GINKY--

GIGGY WAS WEARING PURPLE CLOTHES.

- EXACTLY THE SAME COLOR.

LET'S CALL--WE'LL SEE IF KYLE HAS LEFT YET.

- [child talking]

[honking horn] - WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- THAT GUY'S DRIVING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, I WOULDN'T DO THAT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING.

CAN YOU NOT DO THAT?

- I'M NOT. [line trilling]

- [sighs]

[line trilling] NO, SERIOUSLY.

HERE, I'LL DO IT. - HERE, HERE.

- HI, THIS IS KYLE. LEAVE A MESSAGE.

- WANT TO LEAVE A MESSAGE? - YEAH, LEAVE A MESSAGE.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DISCUSSED.

- HI, YOU GUYS ON YOUR WAY? BYE.

CAN YOU CALL MAURICIO? - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DRIVE ON THIS ROAD AND DO THAT.

- DOOU ME A FAVOR. JUST KIND OF RELAX, PLEASE.

CAN YOU RELAX?

DID YOU MAKE ME A ROMANTIC BIRTHDAY CARD?

- NO.

- DID YOU WRITE, LIKE, A BIG POEM FOR ME?

DID YOU WRITE A BUNCH OF LOVELY, LOVELY THINGS TO ME?

- LIKE YOU DID WITH ME? - LIKE I ALWAYS DO FOR YOU?

- YOU NEVER DO. WHEN HAVE YOU EVER--

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? - EXCUSE ME.

- YOU TAKE WHATEVER IT SAYS ON THE CARD,

AND YOU WRITE THE SAME THING, AND THEN YOU ADD--

- NO. - "I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU."

- NO, NO. - AND THEN THAT'S IT.

- I WRITE YOU--

- NO, YOU DON'T. - YOU KNOW, COME ON.

- WHY DO YOU-- - COME ON, MAN.

- BUT IT'S THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR.

EV--EVERY YEAR.

- I SAY YOU'RE THE BEST--

HERE, WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHAT I TELL YOU?

YOU'RE THE BEST MOTHER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD,

- YEAH.

- YOU'RE THE BEST WIFE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

BUT I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU. RIGHT?

I SAY THAT.

- SEE, YOU ALREADY KNOW IT BY HEART.

- BUT, WHAT DO YOU WANT-- HOW CAN I CHANGE IT?

WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY THAT'S BETTER THAN THAT?

YOU WRITE, "HONEY--" - THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- YOU WRITE, "HONEY...

I LOVE YOU, AND AREN'T YOU HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE ME?"

- I NEVER SAY THAT. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- [laughing] - DON'T DO THAT.

[sighs] MY GOD, YOU TALK A LOT.

- COMING UP...

I JUST WANT TO WARN YOU.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER-- SHE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.

[doorbell rings, dog barks]

- MAMA, I DON'T WANT TO SEE BOBE.

[crying]

- MARION FROM WICHITA, KANSAS, SAYS,

"PAUL, YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB ON YOUR FACE LIFT

"FOR MAURICIO'S MOM, ESTELLA.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH HOW IT TURNED OUT?"

- OH, I'M EXCITED. I'M ECSTATIC.

I THINK THAT FIRST OF ALL, SHE WAS A GREAT PATIENT.

AND SHE HEALED WELL.

BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT TAKING YOUR TIME,

DOING THE RIGHT NATURAL LIFT CAN MAKE SOMEONE LOOK FANTASTIC.

AND I'M SO PLEASED, AND SHE'S HAPPY,

AND I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

- SHE LOOKS GREAT. YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH HER.

SHE'S ECSTATIC. UM, I THINK SHE LOOKS GREAT.

- SHE SAYS SHE HASN'T LOOKED THIS GOOD

SINCE HER QUINCEANERA.

[laughter] I'M JUST SAYING.

- YEAH, NO. SHE'S FEELING GREAT.

SHE'S, UH, LOOKING GREAT, SHE'S FEELING GREAT.

HER--HER PERSONALITY AND HER CONFIDENCE--

- HER PERSONALITY--

[laughs] - THERE WAS NOTHING--

- THAT'S YOUR MOTHER, MY FRIEND.

[laughter]

- YOU GUYS, I JUST WANT TO WARN YOU

WHEN YOU SEE YOUR GRANDMOTHER,

SHE'S NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE HERSELF.

AND I WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED.

SHE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. JUST BE PREPARED FOR THAT.

LIVING IN A TOWN LIKE BEVERLY HILLS,

IT'S VERY COMMONPLACE TO HAVE A FACE-LIFT.

ARE YOU OKAY?

- [groans] HEY.

- ALL RIGHT, THUMBS UP, MAN.

- YOU KNOW, EVERYONE'S GOING IN FOR A NIP AND TUCK

HERE AND THERE.

IT DOESN'T HURT HER, EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS VERY SCARY.

IT REALLY DOES.

- WHAT DID THEY DO? - WELL, SHE DID A FACE LIFT.

- THEY PULL ALL HER FACE BACK HERE,

AND THEN THEY FILLED UNDER HER EYES WITH FAT.

THEY TOOK, LIKE, FAT FROM HER STOMACH

AND PUT IT UNDER HER EYES.

- [laughs] - YUCKY.

[laughing]

- DID THEY CUT HER FACE OFF, THOUGH?

- SOPHIA. - WHAT?

- DON'T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF HER.

- I'M JUST WONDERING.

SO CAN YOU, LIKE, JUST EXPLAIN IN, PRIVATE WORDS WHAT HAPPENED?

- MOMMY, LOOK AT--LOOK AT--

- THEY C-U-T HER F-A-C-E.

AND THEN THEY PULL IT BACK, AND THEY S-E-W IT.

- [groans, laughs] - EXACTLY.

- YUCKY.

- [laughs]

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL?

- UM, NO.

[laughter]

- ANYWAY, DO YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR GRANDMA NOW?

- MM-HMM. - WANT TO SEE BOBE?

DO YOU WANT TO SEE HER?

- BOBE'S NOT SCARY? - SHE'S NOT SCARY?

UM, I DON'T THINK SHE'S SCARY.

SHE MIGHT LOOK A LITTLE BIT SCARY, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,

BUT IT'S STILL YOUR SAME GRANDMA, AND SHE DOESN'T HURT.

- NO.

- YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE?

- NO.

I DON'T WANT TO.

- LITTLE BIT SCARY FOR ME TOO, TO BE HONEST.

I DON'T LIKE TO SEE THAT EITHER.

BUT SHE--DOESN'T HURT,

AND SHE'S FINE, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

[dog barks] SHE HERE?

[doorbell rings]

- I DON'T WANT TO SEE BOBE.

[crying]

I DON'T WANT TO SEE. PLEASE.

- HI, BOBE. - HI, GIRLS.

HOW ARE YOU?

- YOU'RE NOT SCARY.

- OH, I'M NOT SCARY, RIGHT?

BECAUSE IT'S JUST BOBE. HOW ARE YOU, BABY?

- I ALWAYS SAID ONE DAY, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE A FACE LIFT.

I WILL SAY, AFTER SEEING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW,

I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF MY SKIN.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS BOBE BEAUTIFUL?

[laughter] - DON'T PUSH IT.

- YUCKY.

- MEANWHILE, AT ADRIENNE'S HOUSE,

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE FOR PAUL.

- JACKPOT. JACKPOT.

WHO LET YOU OUT?

[groans]

WHO LET YOU OUT? DID YOU DO SOMETHING BAD?

LET'S TAKE A PEEK.

[sighs]

JACKPOT.

COME ON.

I MEAN, EVERY TIME I COME HOME.

THAT LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE.

ADRIENNE.

THE MISTAKE WE MADE IN REGARDS TO TRAINING JACKPOT

BASICALLY WAS THAT HE WASN'T TRAINED.

NO.

NO POO POO.

OKAY? YOU'RE SO CUTE.

OKAY, COME ON.

THE WORST PART ABOUT THIS IS THAT ADRIENNE FORGETS TO PUT

THE DOG EITHER OUTSIDE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM OR SOMEWHERE.

SO WHAT DOES HE DO?

HE WALKS AROUND, GOES RIGHT IN MY BATHROOM,

AND DOES HIS DUTY. ALL THE TIME.

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S FOUR DIFFERENT PLACES.

WHAT DID YOU DO? WALK?

OH, NO. IT'S TOO--

IT'S TOO SOFT.

- IT'S LIKE THE DOG KNOWS. "HEY, GIVE ME A BREAK.

I'M ONLY A PUPPY. I'LL GET IT."

- I THINK ADRIENNE REALLY ENJOYS

HAVING JACKPOT LEAVING ME LITTLE JEWELS IN MY BATHROOM.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME TAKE YOU OUTSIDE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

- I THINK IT'S KIND OF FUNNY.

- THERE'S NEVER A GOOD TIME FOR BAD NEWS

AS LISA FINDS OUT WHILE PREPPING THE OPENING OF SUR.

- SHANE? - SHANE?

[laughs]

- HEY, LISA. HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - NICE TO SEE YOU.

- BLOODY HELL, IT'S COLD IN HERE.

TURN THE HEATING UP, WHY DON'T YOU?

- IT'S NOT THAT COLD.

- BIG DADDY IS THIS INCREDIBLE ARCHITECTURAL, UM, YARD

THAT WE FOUND AGES AGO,

AND IT HAS REALLY INTERESTING, UNUSUAL PIECES OF FURNITURE.

FOR SUR, THAT'S PRETTY ECLECTIC AND IT'S INTERESTING.

IT'S JUST A VERY GOOD PLACE TO GO SHOPPING.

I THINK THAT A LOT OF DESIGNERS GO THERE.

CAN YOU WRITE DOWN--

CAN YOU GET SOMEBODY TO FOLLOW US

AND THEN KIND OF GIVE US THE MEASUREMENTS?

- I'LL JUST DO IT.

- YEAH, BUT YOU MEASURE LIKE THIS,

WITH HIS FEET. LIKE THIS.

- HOW BIG-- HOW BIG IS THIS TABLE?

- [laughs] - DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

- IT'S 7 FEET BY ABOUT-- 38 OR 40.

- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.

- THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DOING A DUI, KEN.

- EXACTLY SEVEN FEET. - OKAY, TRY IT AGAIN.

- GO ON. TRY IT NOW.

- SEVEN. - SUCH AN [bleep].

YOU DID IT BEFORE. YOU MEASURED IT BEFORE.

[cell phone chimes] HELLO?

[knocking on table] IS THAT WOOD, THEN?

- HEY. HUH?

- SO THIS COULD GO-- THIS COULD GO OUTSIDE.

- WHAT?

YOU'RE SCARING ME.

- WHAT?ITING FOR IT TODAY, UM.

WE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS AND-- - HOLD ON A SECOND.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS?

- IT IS...I'LL TELL YOU THE BAD NEWS FIRST.

IT IS, UM...BASAL-CELL CARCINOMA OF THE SHOULDER.

- WELL, HOLD ON A SECOND. HOLD ON A SECOND.

IS THAT-- - CANCER.

- WHAT?

- HE'S DONE A BIOPSY ON HER SHOULDER.

- I GOT THE FINAL RESULTS 20 MINUTES AGO,

AND UNFORTUNATELY IT IS NOT--

IT IS NOT WHAT I WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE.

IT IS WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, WHICH IS SKIN CANCER, SO--

- [bleep].

- SKIN CANCER? - NUMBER ONE--

- OKAY, YOU'RE SCARING ME.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANY BULL[bleep].

BE HONEST. CAN WE JUST TAKE IT OFF OR NOT?

WHAT DO YOU WE DO?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HOLD ON A SECOND.

I NEED THIS CONVERSATION PRIVATE.

ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU THINK IT COULD HAVE SPREAD SOMEWHERE OR NOT?

NOW I FEEL SICK. I'LL COME TO THE OFFICE AFTER.

IN ENGLAND, PEOPLE SAY, "OH, MY GOD, YOU'VE GOT CANCER.

WELL, LET'S HAVE A CUP OF TEA."

IT MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. EXCEPT IN THIS CASE.

I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

COUPLE OF SESSIONS OF WHAT?

OKAY, I'LL BE THERE. I'LL BE THERE IN AN HOUR.

- SO I CAN CUSTOM MAKE YOU THAT, UM, FOR ABOUT $2,400.

YOU OKAY? - UH, NOT REALLY.

- WANT SOME WATER?

- I NEED MORE THAN WATER. GIVE ME A VODKA AND TONIC.

- [laughs] - GOD.

- SHANE, I'M GOING TO GO. - BYIX FEET.

- OH, GOD. LOOK, I'M LEAVING MY FILE.

I'M LOSING MY MIND.

I SWEAR TO GOD, I'M LOSING MY MIND.

ALL RIGHT. - WELL, THANK YOU.

[dog barking] I HOPE EVERYTHING, UM--

- OH, GOD. I'VE LOST GIGGY.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'VE JUST LEFT GIGGY HERE.

I'VE JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH SKIN CANCER ON MY SHOULDER,

AND I'M, LIKE, FREAKING OUT.

- BYE. - I'M SORRY, SHANE.

I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE. - IT'S OKAY.

- I'LL SPEAK TO YOU LATER... - OKAY.

- SORRY, MATE. - WHEN I FIND MY MARBLES.

- YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

- LISA'S DOCTOR WAS ABLE TO REMOVE

ALL OF HER SKIN CANCER,

AND LISA HAS GOTTEN A CLEAN BILL OF HEATH.

- COMING UP...

- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? - I'M NOT DOING IT TO YOU.

- YES, YOU ARE! - D.D., D.D.

- I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! - HONEY.

- WELL, THROUGHOUT THE SEASON,

KIM AND KYLE'S RELATIONSHIP WAS STRAINED,

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, KIM HAD ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP

SHE WAS HIDING FROM HER SISTER.

TAKE A LOOK.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE FINDING OUT US?

BEEN PRETTY GOOD ABOUT KEEPING THAT A SECRET, HAVEN'T WE?

- I DON'T--I REALLY DON'T CONSIDER IT A SECRET, KEN.

- YOU'VE GOT A NEW MAN. WHERE IS HE?

- KEN. - HI.

- HI, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

- IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT MY SISTER

CAN SAY "I LIKE HIM."

- WHY HAS SHE BEEN HIDING THIS FROM ME?

- I THINK THAT WENT GOOD, DON'T YOU?

[playing upbeat music]

- WHEN I SEE KEN AND KIM KISSING,

I'M THINKING TO MYSELF-- UGH.

- HE LOOKS, LIKE, UM, A BULLMASTIFF.

- A WHAT?

- I SAID YOU LOOKED-- - [laughs]

- WHAT THE [bleep] IS THAT?

- HE'S JUST GOT THIS SOUR LITTLE FACE.

- SHE'S CALLING YOU A GAY DOG. - YEAH, I GOT THAT.

- OH, MY GOD. YOU HAVE A WEDDING BAND?

- IT'S NOT A WEDDING BAND.

- SHE GAVE IT TO ME. IT'S LIKE A PROMISE RING.

- I PACKED YOUR NYLONS. - I HAVE TO TAKE MY MEDICINE.

- TELL US HOW IS IT GOING WITH UNCLE KENNETH?

- YEAH. IT'S--

- I'M NOT A FAN OF THAT.

- OF WHAT?

- OF WHATEVER'S GOING ON THAT I DON'T KNOW.

- IT WAS A LITTLE STRANGE.

HE'S BEING A LITTLE OVERBEARING FOR KIM.

- THERE'S GOING TO BE RESPECT OR ELSE.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

- WHEN YOU MISSED THE FLIGHT, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

- [laughs] DON'T GET MAD.

- NO, I KNOW YOU WANT TO BRUSH OVER IT.

BUT EVERYONE ELSE HERE IS AWARE OF THAT

AND KNOWS THAT WE WERE ALL WAITING.

- NO-- - WE DON'T CARE.

- YOU DON'T CARE? I'M SURE YOU DON'T, KEN.

- I DON'T.

- THERE'S JUST CERTAIN THINGS HE SAYS TO ME AREN'T POSITIVE

AND DON'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.

- I DIDN'T PACK THOSE BECAUSE I THINK THEY LOOK RATTY.

- KEN AND I--

WE'VE JUST BEEN UP AND DOWN.

- I MEAN, LET'S GO. OUT, OUT.

KIM.

JESUS CHRIST.

- IT'S NOT WORKING. - YOU WANT TO MOVE OUT?

- MM-HMM.

- I WANTED SO BADLY TO NOT BE ALONE ANYMORE.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY.

- [sighs]

- WHY DO YOU THINK SHE KEPT THIS--

THE ROMANCE A SECRET FOR SO LONG?

- BECAUSE SHE KNEW I WOULDN'T APPROVE.

AND FOR GOOD REASON.

- YOU SAID IN YOUR BLOG THAT YOU HAD MANY REASONS

FOR NOT THINKING THAT KEN WAS RIGHT FOR KIM.

WHAT WERE THEY?

- WELL, WHEN SHE WAS SPENDING TIME WITH THE NEIGHBOR,

UM, BEFORE I KNEW HE WAS KEN,

IT WAS A VERY BAD TIME IN HER LIFE.

AND I KNEW THAT

HE WAS A BAD INFLUENCE,

AND I DIDN'T LIKE THE THINGS I WAS HEARING ABOUT

THE WAY HE WAS CONTROLLING.

SO...I DIDN'T WANT HER WITH HIM.

I WANTED HER AS FAR AWAY FROM PO--AS POSSIBLE FROM HIM.

- WHAT WERE YOU LADIES--

WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST IMPRESSIONS

OF KIM AND KEN AS A COUPLE?

- I FELT THAT KIM SO DESPERATELY NEEDED SOMEBODY IN HER LIFE.

I COULDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND KYLE'S POINT OF VIEW.

BUT I THINK KYLE HAD KIND OF MORE INFORMATION ABOUT HIM,

AND SHE KIND OF, YOU KNOW, JUDGED IT ACCORDINGLY

WHERE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WAS A BAD INFLUENCE ON--

- I-I ALSO FELT HE WAS VERY CONTROLLING.

AS YOU CAN SEE IN THAT SCENE.

UM, HIM COMING UP TO US, PAUL AND I, AND ASKING,

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS CONVERSATION?"

- THAT WAS ALSO VERY PARANOID.

- YEAH. - VERY STRANGE, YEAH.

- BRANDI, WE KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF KEN AT THE SUR EVENT

WHEN HE CONFRONTED YOU ABOUT YOUR BULLMASTIFF COMMENT.

DID HE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT IT?

- NO, BUT I MEAN, I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO.

I JUST HAD TO BE HONEST AND TAKE--

TAKE THE BRUNT OF WHAT I SAID.

IT WAS A DISRESPECTFUL THING TO SAY,

AND I FELT BAD ABOUT SAYING THAT,

AND SO I JUST APOLOGIZED.

ALL YOU CAN DO IS SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU MESS UP.

- WHAT IS THE STATUS OF KIM-- - REMEMBER THAT.

- [laughs]

- WE'VE SAID IT A LOT. WE'VE SAID IT A LOT.

- SO WHAT IS THE STATUS NOW OF KIM AND KEN'S RELATIONSHIP?

- THEY'RE NO LONGER TOGETHER.

- THEY ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER? - NO.

- AND HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN BROKEN UP SINCE SHE WENT--

- UM...BEFORE THAT. BEFORE.

- WOW.

- WHILE KIM MANAGED TO KEEP KEN A SECRET,

HERE, SHE SHARES SOME SURPRISING REVELATIONS WITH ADRIENNE.

- I'M GETTING READY TO MOVE, YOU KNOW, I'M LOOKING.

- NO, I KNOW. HOW'S THAT GOING, BY THE WAY?

- THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF STRESS. LET'S JUST SAY THAT.

- KIM HAS ERRATIC BEHAVIOR AT TIMES.

I REALLY WANTED TO FIND OUT IF SHE WAS REALLY OKAY.

- SO IT'S--I THINK IT'S JUST-- IT'S ALL ON ME RIGHT NOW.

- MM-HMM.

- YOU KNOW, I ALREADY--I USED TO HAVE ANXIETY FROM WHEN I--

PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.

AND THEN THEY STOPPED, AND THEY'RE KIND OF CREEPING UP

ON ME A LITTLE BIT RIGHT NOW SO.

- A LOT OF THINGS CAN PLAY INTO

WHY A PERSON ACTS THE WAY THAT THEY DO.

TRUST ME, WE ALL HAVE OUR ISSUES,

BUT MAYBE IT'S A LITTLE BIT MORE DIFFICULT

FOR HER TO HANDLE.

SO I KNOW YOU SAID IT'S STRESSFUL,

BUT HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT?

- DEEP BREATHS, DRINK LOTS OF WATER,

I-I JUST ALWAYS DO A LITTLE--

LIKE, KIND OF LIKE A LITTLE MEDITATION.

YOU KNOW? IT HELPS ME SO MUCH.

- BUT YOU'VE GONE TO THE DOCTOR, AND HE'S PROBABLY--

- I AM--ACTUALLY HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO GO.

- I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH ADRIENNE

BECAUSE WE CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING.

AND I FEEL LIKE SHE LISTENS WITHOUT JUDGING ME.

- YEAH, YOU KNOW.

I WAS IN A LANDSLIDE WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

WE WERE COVERED IN-- - OH, MY GOSH.

- YEAH, A MOUNTAIN CAME DOWN ON OUR CAR.

- WHAT? - YEAH, YEAH.

AND WE WERE COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN,

AND KATHY LOOKED UP AND SHE'S LIKE, "OH, MOM,

LOOK AT THE MOUNTAIN," AND WE WERE COMING--

WE LOOKED UP AND THE WHOLE MOUNTAIN

JUST CAME DOWN ON OUR CAR AND JUST BURIED US AND--

- OH, MY GOSH.

- SO, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE COVERED IN MUD FOR HOURS,

YOU COULD HEAR PEOPLE, LIKE, YOU KNOW,

"WE'RE COMING, WE'RE COMING."

- OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH.

- BUT I HAVE CLAUSTROPHOBIA-- REALLY HORRIBLE.

AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE FROM THAT, BUT--

I REMEMBER I HAD MY FIRST, LIKE, ANXIETY THING

IN MY 20s.

- AND AS YOU GET OLDER, IT GETS WORSE.

- YEAH, IT WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY--"

OUT OF NOWHERE.

I'M, LIKE-- [sighs]

- I OBVIOUSLY WANT, AS A FRIEND,

WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER

AND HOPE THAT THINGS ARE SETTLING IN HER LIFE.

- I'VE HAD A LOT, LATELY. HORRIBLE.

- KIM WASN'T THE ONLY ONE

WITH A LOT TO DEAL WITH THIS SEASON.

MAURICIO FOUND HIMSELF WITH A LIFE-ALTERING DECISION TO MAKE.

- YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE, LIKE, LITTLE BIRD SANCTUARIES

AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

LIKE FEEDERS AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

- WOULDN'T PORTIA LOVE THE BIRDS HERE?

- LOVE IT.

- IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

- THIS IS AMAZING.

- AMAZE-- - AMAZING.

- HI.

- ALOHA. WELCOME TO THE BEACH.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- SITTING BEACH SIDE WITH US?

- YES, PLEASE. YOU HAVE A COUPLE OF LOUNGES

AND STUFF THAT WE CAN--

RIGHT THIS WAY.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JOSH? - JOSH.

- THANK YOU, JOSH. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- WILL THESE BE OKAY? - HEY, WE'RE ALL BY OURSELVES.

- I LOVE IT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- OH, IT'S A GOOD THING I HAVE MY SHOES.

[laughs]

- LOOK AT ALL THE DOLPHINS RIGHT HERE.

THIS BAY RIGHT HERE IS UNBELIEVABLE.

SO RELAXING. I NEEDED A COUPLE DAYS OFF.

I'VE BEEN WORKING MY BUTT OFF.

I'VE BEEN GRINDING HARD THE LAST, UH, SIX MONTHS.

- I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD, HONEY.

- YOU KNOW, I HAVE THIS ISSUE THAT IS REALLY, LIKE,

ON MY HEAD A LOT.

I HAVE BEEN APPROACHED TO CREATE OUR OWN COMPANY.

AND IT'S SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO DEAL WITH THAT

BECAUSE OF FAMILY.

- MY HUSBAND SELLS VERY HIGH-END REAL ESTATE.

LIKE, CRAZY EXPENSIVE HOMES.

HE WORKS WITH MY BROTHER-IN-LAW RICK HILTON

AT HILTON & HYLAND IN BEVERLY HILLS.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY I WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR OUR FAMILY.

AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO FULFILL YOUR DREAM.

I JUST GET WORRIED BECAUSE IT'S LIKE,

HERE IT IS, IT'S MY SISTER, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW,

IT'S MY FAMILY, AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE UPSET.

- THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT IN LIFE THAN FAMILY,

WHICH IS WHY IT'S SUCH A DIFFICULT DECISION,

BUT OBVIOUSLY, FOR ME, WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT

IS THAT I HAVE YOUR COMPLETE BACKING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- RICK IS A BUSINESSMAN. HE UNDERSTANDS, I THINK.

- MWAH. KISS.

[smooches]

- OH, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, AREN'T YOU, OVER HERE?

OH, YES. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

- WHILE SOME PEOPLE'S LIVES

WERE CHANGING DRAMATICALLY,

LISA AND ADRIENNE'S NEIGHBORLY RIVALRY

WAS BUSINESS AS USUAL.

- HELLO?

- LISA, I AM NOT WALKING ANY FURTHER.

- I'M CUTTING THE ROSES. - IT'S TOO HARD IN THESE HEELS.

- CRAWL OVER HERE.

OH, JESUS. JUST--

- [laughs]

- JUST CRAWL OVER HERE ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES.

- OH, MY GOSH, DO YOU KNOW HOW--

YOU OF ALL PEOPLE--

- THOSE ARE NOT THE MOST SENSIBLE SHOES

TO WALK ACROSS THE ROAD IN.

- OKAY, BUT YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE TOO.

WELL, I DON'T HAVE GRAVEL.

- OH, SORRY. SO GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

- BUT I'VE BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT ANYWAY.

- OH, YOU DID? - YEAH, YEAH.

- SO, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S THE PRESENT?

- PUT THAT DOWN.

I'M AFRAID YOU MIGHT-- AFTER YOU OPEN THIS,

YOU MIGHT BE USING THOSE ON ME.

- OH, REALLY?

- YEAH, LET'S GO IN.

I'LL FOLLOW YOU.

- OKAY, WE'RE GOING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.

DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A PIGGYBACK?

- YEAH, EXACTLY.

OH, MY GOSH.

- COME IN. IT'S GETTING COLD.

- OH, IT IS. REALLY COLD.

- WHAT IS IT? I'M EXCITED.

- TAKE YOUR GLOVES OFF. - WHY?

- JUST TAKE YOUR GLOVES OFF. - IS IT ALIVE?

- [clears throat]

- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

"FRUIT AND VEGETABLE WASH."

- THAT'S OKAY, YOU CAN STILL USE IT FOR CHICKEN.

- OKAY.

OKAY, WE DON'T NEED ANY SOAP.

DID YOU JUST PUT SOAP ON IT? - YEAH.

- [laughs] - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SICK?

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SALMONELLA POISONING?

YOU'D DO THE SAME THING.

- YOU'RE GOING TO GET SICK PUTTING SOAP ON HIM.

- [laughs]

- I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS BLOODY BOX.

- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL BOX, RIGHT?

- YEAH. EXACTLY. NOW YOU DO NOT PUT HAND SOAP.

YOU DO NOT PUT--

NOBODY PUTS HAND SOAP ON CHICKEN.

- THAT HAND SOAP WAS ESPE-- IT WAS ORGANIC.

- NO, DARLING, IT HAD MOISTURIZER--

NO, DARLING, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

- BUT THIS IS KIND OF SIMILAR TO HAND SOAP.

- DARLING, I'M SORRY.

YOU DO NOT PUT HAND SOAP ON CHICKEN.

- COMING UP...

- I HAVE NEVER [bleep] HURT CAMILLE GRAMMER!

I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED NOT HER! - GUESS WHAT?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HONEY?

[laughs]

- HONEY? - YES?

- I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TALK TOO MUCH.

- WHY?

- BECAUSE I'M ALREADY RELAXED.

- DON'T YOU HATE WHEN I KEEP TALKING DURING THE MASSAGES?

- YEAH, THAT'S WHY I USUALLY DO THEM ALONE.

- BUT I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS ON MY MIND.

- WELL, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

- [laughs]

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY.

- THANK YOU.

THIS IS SUCH A NICE TRIP.

- ENJOY YOUR LAST MINUTES OF RELAXATION.

MY SISTER'S ABOUT TO SHOW UP. [laughs]

- THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S CALLED A RELAX-KILL.

- [laughs]

- DESPITE HER ECCENTRICITIES,

PEOPLE LOVE KIM RICHARDS.

HERE'S WHY.

- HI, I'M KIM. - GOOD MORNING.

- I'M A MARLIN FISHER, SO I LOVE BOATS.

SO THAT'S NOT A SHIP?

- THIS IS THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, BABE.

- I'M AN ARABIAN HORSE.

YOU KNOW-- [neighing]

BAM, BAM.

BING, BING, BING, BING, BING.

BA-BUM, BA-BUM.

AHH-- [breathes heavily]

[sighs] - OH, YES.

- IT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE-- [growls]

I LOVE YOU.

YEAH.

BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE.

[laughs]

OKAY, I'M AFRAID THAT SOMETHING MIGHT COME TO ME

AND WILL LEAVE ME.

WHO'S GOING TO JUMP INSIDE MY BODY?

- WHAT IS IT?

- [laughs] I DO.

[device buzzing] I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FOR YOUR NECK.

- OH, I THINK IT'S FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

- I THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT LIPSTICK,

AND IT ENDED UP BEING A VIBRATOR.

MY FRIEND ASKED ME THE OTHER DAY,

"DO YOU HAVE ANY BREATH SPRAY?"

SO I GIVE IT TO HIM, AND HE GOES,

"IS THIS A SICK JOKE? THIS IS AIR--DEODORIZER."

- HE PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH?

- I'VE BEEN USING IT IN MY MOUTH FOR A WEEK.

- KIM...

- AFTER A WEEK, NOBODY COMPLAINED ABOUT MY BREATH.

[laughs]

- KIM IS DEFINITELY OPENING UP.

SHE'S, YOU KNOW, TALKING...

- I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A COWGIRL.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

WHEN I WENT TO BUY MY FIRST HORSE,

I THOUGHT I WAS COWBOY JANE.

- TELLING STORIES AND TALKING.

- AND I'M EXPECTING THEM TO, LIKE, GET DOWN LIKE THIS,

AND I'M LIKE, "THE HORSE-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND..."

- THERE'S A LOT OF TALKING.

- OH, MY GOD. IT'S--IT'S A BAD HORSE.

IT'S A VERY BAD HORSE.

- TAYLOR HAS SAID THAT ADRIENNE IS KENNEDY'S GODMOTHER,

BUT ADRIENNE HAS NEVER QUITE SAID IT HERSELF.

LET'S FIND OUT HOW THAT TURNED OUT

ONCE AND FOR ALL.

- GETTING YOUR USUAL? - YES, THAT'LL BE GREAT.

- OKAY. - SHE'LL HAVE A NON-FAT CAP.

- FOR HERE OR TO GO?

- FOR HERE. - HERE.

- NEED SOME CASH. - OH, I GOT IT.

IT'S MY TURN, I'M SURE.

ADRIENNE AND I USED TO SEE ONE ANOTHER EVERY DAY

BECAUSE OUR KIDS WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL,

BUT NOW OUR KIDS GO TO SEPARATE SCHOOLS,

AND WE DON'T REALLY GET THE TIME TO CATCH UP,

AND IT'S DEFINITELY MADE CHANGES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

- WELL, I WISH THAT WE SAW EACH OTHER MORE.

- I KNOW.

- THE KIDS BEING AT DIFFERENT SCHOOLS THING IS HARD.

AND I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT--

BECAUSE I AM TURNING 40 THIS YEAR.

I'M TRYING TO GET EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE REALLY ORGANIZED.

IT IS ABOUT KENNEDY.

AND MAYBE YOU BEING HER GODMOTHER,

AND I KNOW THAT THAT'S NOT

SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.

- LET ME TELL YOU WHY I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT.

BECAUSE I THINK IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEBODY THAT'S CLOSE TO YOU,

THAT IS WITH YOU ON A-- YOU KNOW,

CLOSER THAN WHAT I AM WITH YOU.

- YOU KNOW, WHEN I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT THE FIRST TIME,

WE WERE--THE KIDS WERE SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER

BECAUSE THEY WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER EVERY DAY,

AND SO I FELT IT WOULD BE NICE IF SOMETHING HAPPENED,

AND THEN SHE WOULD HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM.

- BUT DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT'S INVOLVED IN THAT?

SEE, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND

WHAT'S INVOLVED IN BECOMING, UM, A GOD MOTHER.

IT'S NOT JUST FOR A WHILE.

IT'S THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

- RIGHT, RIGHT.

BUT WHEN WE FIRST HAD THE CONVERSATION,

I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY-- IT WAS ONE OF THOSE

THAT YOU WERE, LIKE, "I'M FLATTERED BECAUSE

"YOU WOULD ASK ME BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M SUCH A GREAT MOM

THAT YOU WOULD ASK ME."

- WHEN I SAID I WAS FLATTERED, I'M FLATTERED BECAUSE

IT'S NICE OF YOU TO ASK ME.

BUT IN REALITY, WHEN YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT,

IT'S NOT THE RIGHT SITUATION FOR ME,

AND IT WOULDN'T BE THE RIGHT SITUATION FOR YOU.

YOU HAVE TO REALLY PUT THOUGHT INTO IT.

IT'S JUST NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU--

- WELL, I DID PUT THOUGHT IN IT.

- NO, IT REALLY NEEDS TO BE SOMEBODY YOU SEE ALL THE TIME.

- THAT SHE SEES ALL THE TIME.

- YEAH, IN THE FAMILY DYNAMICS.

BECAUSE THAT'S A--SUCH AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT POSITION

TO BE IN, AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

- RIGHT.

- SO... - WELL.

SO I THINK WE HAVE TO HAVE A TOAST.

HERE'S TO FRIENDSHIP AND A NEW YOU.

- THANK YOU, DARLING.

THANKS FOR HELPING.

- MUCH OF BRANDI'S MALIBU PARTY

WAS TOO SHOCKING TO AIR.

TONIGHT, YOU'LL SEE IT ALL.

AS THE NIGHT BEGAN, POOR BRANDI HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES.

- I'M SO NERVOUS FOR THE GIRLS TO GET HERE.

I WANT THEM TO BE BLOWN AWAY, AND I KNOW THEY WILL BE.

- THEY'RE GOING TO BE.

- ARE YOU HAVING SOME? - WOULD YOU LIKE A SPLASH?

- I WILL. OF COURSE.

GREAT, I'M GETTING READY FOR THE LADIES,

AND I'M SCARED. - [laughs]

I WANT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS TONIGHT

SO I HAVE A PRIVATE CHEF COMING IN,

I GOT A SOMMELIER, WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME WINE TASTING.

AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS EVEN GOING TO COME AND TEACH US

TO BELLY DANCE LATER.

- HI, B.

- MWAH. - MWAH.

I'VE INVITED ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, JENNIFER,

BECAUSE SHE MAKES ME FEEL COMFORTABLE,

AND I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT NEED A GO-TO WITH THIS GROUP OF WOMEN.

CHEERS. - IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL HERE.

- YOU GUYS, WISH ME LUCK TONIGHT BECAUSE I'M SCARED.

- WHAT ARE YOU SCARED ABOUT? - WHY ARE YOU--

- THESE GIRLS ARE HARD TO IMPRESS.

- ARE THEY REALLY MEAN? - NOT ALL OF THEM.

HALF OF THEM ARE REALLY NICE AND HALF OF THEM ARE HORRID.

IT'S A HARD GROUP TO COME INTO, AND SO I GOT OFF TO,

YOU KNOW, ON THE WRONG FOOT.

BRING IT, BITCH.

- ARE YOU CALLING ME A BITCH?

- IT WAS VERY OBVIOUS AND OPEN WHAT YOU GUYS SAID.

- PLEASE. YOU ARE PATHETIC, OKAY?

- WAIT, ARE THEY JEALOUS OF YOU?

- NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

THEY'RE SUPER RICH AND SUPER--

- YEAH, BUT RICH IS NOTHING.

I MEAN, IT'S ONE THING, I GET IT, BUT--

- THEY'RE NOT JEALOUS OF ME. - YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE A LOT YOUNGER THAN THESE GIRLS.

- I'M NOT.

THEY JUST LOOK OLDER.

I WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT I-I CAN HAVE FUN AND BE HAPPY.

AND I'M ACTUALLY A REALLY FUN GIRL.

I DON'T THINK ANY OF THEM KNOW THAT SIDE OF ME.

I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I CAN BE MYSELF.

I'M GOING TO BE FUN, I'M GOING TO MAKE EVERYONE DO--

I WAS GOING TO SAY SHOTS, BUT WE'RE GOING TO--

[laughs]

WE'RE NOT DOING SHOTS.

- I'M GOING TO PASS ON THAT ONE, BUT--

[laughs]

- OH, LINDA'S HERE. YAY.

- HI. - BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

MWAH. - HOW ARE YOU?

- WE HAVE TO GET YOU WINE.

- WINE FIRST, BECAUSE I'M ALREADY DRUNK.

- I'M READY, I'M READY.

- NOW HERE'S WHAT YOU DIDN'T SEE FROM BRANDI'S PARTY.

- STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP.

[overlapping arguing]

- YOU TWO, TALK.

COME HERE. - OW!

- YES! GO!

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. - GO, TAYLOR.

TAYLOR. YOU HAVE TO TALK TO HER.

TAYLOR, LISTEN TO ME. - YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS--

- I CARE ABOUT YOU. - BABE, BABE, BABE, OKAY.

- I DO. [overlapping arguing]

I CARE ABOUT BOTH OF YOU. - YOU GUYS--

- TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT.

- GET AWAY FROM THE WALL. - OKAY.

- GET AWAY FROM THE WALL. GET AWAY FROM THE WALL.

- EVERYONE'S TRYING TO CALM TAYLOR DOWN,

AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT JUST IRRITATED HER MORE.

AND YOU COULD SEE HER ANGER BREWING INSIDE OF HER.

- ALL YOU DO IS KEEP JUDGING ME!

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE FIGHTING ABOUT,

BUT IF SHE WASN'T THERE, THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING.

AND I JUST WANTED IT TO BE DONE.

- TAYLOR, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE MY HOUSE.

YOU SHOULD GO. YOU SHOULD GO.

- AND [bleep] YOU, BRANDI. - THAT'S RUDE.

- NO, [bleep] YOU! - EXCUSE ME!

- [bleep] YOU!

- NO, STOP-- - YOU CANNOT--

- DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, OKAY?

- OH, REALLY? - YOU'LL BE SORRY, OKAY.

- SHE--SHE WENT LIKE THIS. AND SHE WENT LIKE--LIKE--

SHE--KYLE TOUCHED ME FIRST.

- I DON'T WANT THIS TO TURN INTO A FIGHT.

I'VE NEVER HAD A PHYSICAL FIGHT.

AND I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE THE FIRST ONE.

- WE'RE LEAVING. - STOP, STOP, STOP!

- WE'RE LEAVING. WE'RE LEAVING.

- STOP.

- YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.

- HONEY, WHERE'S YOUR BAG? YOU HAD A PURSE IN HERE BEFORE.

WE'RE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR PURSE.

- IT'S OUT THERE. - I'M GETTING YOUR PURSE.

- YOU GUYS ARE ALL EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES

BY BEING OUT OF CONTROL.

WE ARE AN EVOLVED SPECIES.

- YES, I AGREE. - AND WE'RE ALL LADIES.

- BUT YOU DON'T GRAB SOMEBODY LIKE THAT, OKAY?

- SO LET'S ACT LIKE THAT. - I DIDN'T GRAB YOU.

- NO, YOU GRABBED ME, BRANDI, OKAY?

HAVE ANOTHER COCKTAIL, MY DEAR.

- I WASN'T TRYING TO INITIATE A FIGHT.

I JUST WANTED THE DRAMA TO STOP.

- YOU DON'T ASK SOMEBODY TO LEAVE LIKE THAT.

COME ON. - TAKE A BREATH.

- CAMILLE WAS AT MY HOUSE FIRST. - I AM FINE.

- SHE WAS LOVELY AND FINE.

AND--AND SHE CAUSED A DISASTER. - WAIT, WAIT.

- OF COURSE I ASKED HER TO LEAVE BECAUSE SHE CAUSED A DISASTER.

- I REALLY FELT FOR BRANDI.

SHE WAS TRYING TO PUT A NICE PARTY TOGETHER,

AND SHE WAS UPSET, AND--AND, I DON'T BLAME HER.

- TAYLOR. - WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

- I'M NOT DOING IT TO YOU.

- YES, YOU ARE! - D.D., D.D.,

STAY OUT OF THIS. D.D.

- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

- I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! - HONEY.

- TAYLOR IS AT THE POINT OF NO RETURN.

YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT HER TO SNAP,

I HOPE SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY.

- DON'T ENGAGE.

YOU ARE YOU STRONGER THAN THAT.

YOU JUST WALK THROUGH... - THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

- IN YOUR GRACE AND IN YOUR DIGNITY.

- RIGHT.

- WALK THROUGH, TAYLOR. SERIOUSLY.

- IT'S JUST BULL[bleep].

AND SHE'S GOING TO PUT ALL THIS [bleep] ON YOU.

AND SHE'S OUT THERE BEING THE VICTIM, AND IT'S BULL[bleep].

YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH HELL.

- [indistinct] - I KNOW. I KNOW.

- I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN TO YOU THIS YEAR.

- I KNOW. - I AM NOT.

- THANK YOU.

- I LOVE YOU, AND YOU HAVE TO [bleep] KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU.

- I KNOW YOU LOVE ME. D.D., I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

- OKAY, YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

- GRACE AND DIGNITY. - RELAX.

- I'M GOING TO FIND YOUR STUFF.

OH, YOU HAVE YOUR PURSE?

- YEAH. - [bleep], [bleep] KELLY.

I AM GRACE KELLY. - I AM.

- I AM GRACE KELLY. SAY IT TO YOURSELF.

- I AM GRACE KELLY. [laughs]

- SHE'S FALLING APART, THEN SHE'S NOT.

SHE'S FALLING APART, THEN SHE'S NOT.

AT THIS POINT, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO READ HER.

I'VE NEVER SEEN HER ACT THIS WAY.

THERE IS SOMETHING DESPERATELY GOING WRONG.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

- COMING UP...

- I JUST WANTED THE DRAMA TO LEAVE

AND IT--I WASN'T-- - "DRAMA TO LEAVE"?

- THAT'S WHY YOU HAD TO GRAB ME BY THE ARM

AND SAY, "GET OUT OF HER HOUSE"?

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

- I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

- HEY, ADRIENNE. - HI, HONEY.

THIS IS THE DEAL. SHE'S OFF ON ANOTHER PLANET.

YOU NEED TO JUST LET HER--

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU. I-I AGREE.

THE PROBLEM IS WHEN SOMEBODY IS

GOING THROUGH SO MUCH EMOTIONAL TRAUMA--

- OH, I'M SORRY. AND MY BEST FRIEND'S NOT?

- I KNOW SHE IS TOO,

BUT SHE MAY BE A LITTLE BIT STRONGER THAN HER.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS, LISA STIRS THE POT,

AND THEN BACKS OUT.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

SO, YOU GOT TO LET THEM-- LET THOSE TWO WORK IT OUT.

- I WANT THEM TO. I WANT THEM TO.

- WELL, THE WAY THEY WORK IT OUT IS NOBODY ELSE INVOLVED.

- I AGREE. - YES.

- LET ME GET OUR STUFF.

WHERE'S YOUR WRAP? - I DIDN'T HAVE A WRAP.

- YEAH, YOU DID. YOU HAD A LITTLE WRAP LIKE ME.

- JUST LOSE THE WRAP. I DON'T CARE.

- I'M GOING TO JUST GET YOUR STUFF.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO-- - I DON'T CARE ABOUT A WRAP.

- DON'T MOVE.

BE A GOOD GIRL. - [sighs]

- KYLE, SIT DOWN WITH US. JUST FOR ONE MINUTE.

- I KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HER ALONE. I FEEL BAD.

- YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE HER ALONE.

- BUT THOSE TWO NEED TO TALK IT OUT.

- YEAH, BUT TONIGHT'S NOT THE NIGHT.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I THINK SHE JUST WANTED TO TALK ALONE,

AND THAT'S WHAT GOT HER--

I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE, BUT I THINK.

- OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE.

- COME--GET OVER HERE. RIGHT NOW.

YOU, MISSY MOO. GET OVER HERE.

WE LOVE YOU. - NO.

- NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER YET.

- NOW'S NOT THE TIME. D.D.

OH, MY GOD. - I'M DONE.

- D.D., D.D. - NO, I KNOW. I KNOW.

- LET IT GO FOR NOW. LET THEM TALK--

- I'M LETTING IT GO, ADRIENNE.

- SHE HURT ME REALLY BAD. - OKAY.

- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE FEELS HURT TOO.

YOU BOTH FEEL HURT. - I DO HEAR YOU.

- SHE FEELS HURT BY ME? WHY?

- BECAUSE-- - IN THE--IN--WAIT.

IN THE UNIVERSE, SHE COULD NOT FIND A REASON TO BE HURT BY ME

BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER [bleep] HURT CAMILLE GRAMMER!

I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED, NOT HER! - GUESS WHAT?

I-I AGREE, BUT GUESS WHAT, SHE'S DEFENDED YOU TOO.

- CAMILLE, YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TONIGHT.

YOU'VE BEEN SO LOVELY, I MEAN-- - THANK YOU.

- I JUST WANTED DRAMA TO LEAVE--

- "DRAMA TO LEAVE"?

THAT'S WHY YOU HAD TO GRAB ME BY THE ARM

AND SAY, "GET OUT OF HER HOUSE"?

- ARE YOU KIDDING?

- CRAZIES ON THE LEFT OF ME AND THE RIGHT OF ME,

AND I JUST WANTED TO GET OUT.

- LISTEN TO ME-- - TAYLOR, STOP, HONEY.

TIME-OUT, NOT NOW.

- WE HAVE TO GET TAYLOR'S STUFF.

- I'M GOING TO GET TAYLOR'S STUFF.

- NOT NOW.

- PLEASE. - SHE'S GOING TO REALLY--

- LOOK AT ME. SERIOUSLY.

- NOW IT'S ABOUT MORE THAN THAT.

- LET'S GO. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

- TAYLOR.

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES, GO TO BRAVO.TV.COM.