Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- I'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEBODY

THAT I'VE BEEN KEEPING A LITTLE PRIVATE.

- WE'VE BEEN PROTECTING YOU,

BECAUSE WE DON'T SAY THAT HE HIT YOU.

- RUSSELL DIDN'T LIKE THAT.

AND HE HAS SENT A EMAIL THREATENING TO SUE CAMILLE.

- AREN'T WE ALL SUPPOSED TO GO TO HAWAII?

- YES.

- WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

[voice breaking] I GUESS THE EMAIL YOU SENT CAMILLE...

- IT'S GONE FURTHER THAN JUST CAMILLE.

IT'S BECOME A SITUATION WHERE NOBODY WANTS TO GET SUED.

- WE'RE GONNA GO. WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

COME ON.

- TAYLOR... DON'T GO YET.

[normal voice] THE IDEA THAT I HAVE TO TELL MY FRIEND

THAT SHE CANNOT COME IN TO MY PARTY FEELS TERRIBLE.

SHE MADE THE COMMENT, BUT IT WASN'T THAT SHE INVENTED IT.

IT WAS STUFF THAT TAYLOR TOLD US.

- NO, NO, NO. SHE REPEATED AN EXAGGERATED VERSION

OF WHAT I TOLD HER.

- NO, NO, CAMILLE DID NOT GET CARRIED AWAY.

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT, BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.

- I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

[indistinct chatter]

[car door closes] - [crying]

- IT'S A MESS. IT'S A BLOODY MESS.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST HUMILIATING FOR HER.

IT'S HUMILIATING FOR EVERYBODY.

RUSSELL SENT THIS EMAIL, WHICH IS TOTALLY OUT OF LINE.

HE SHOULD'VE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SPOKEN TO CAMILLE.

- WELL, HE'S THREATENING TO SUE HER.

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

AND THEN YOU'RE NEXT, AND I'M NEXT--

WITH WHOEVER SAYS ANYTHING.

HE CAN SUE ME? FOR WHAT?

FOR REPEATING WHAT HIS WIFE SAID,

WHICH APPARENTLY IS THE TRUTH?

- YOU ARE NOT LEAVING AFTER ALL THAT,

SO TAKE OFF YOUR COAT.

- NO, I'M NOT LEAVING. I'M HERE. I'M STAYING.

I FELT BAD FOR KYLE THAT SHE WAS IN THAT POSITION.

BUT MY LEGAL ADVISORS

TOLD ME TO STAY AWAY FROM RUSSELL AND TAYLOR.

- I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT IDEA

TO UNINVITE TAYLOR AND RUSSELL...

- [crying] I'M STILL MAD. - IT'S ALL RIGHT.

BECAUSE TO BE QUITE HONEST,

IT'S VERY HURTFUL WHAT THEY DID.

- SHE DID REPEAT, YOU KNOW-- THEY SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW,

YOU REPEATED WHAT SHE-- YOU KNOW--"

SHE GOES, "WELL, SHE EXAGGERATED."

- I SENT THE EMAIL TO YOU. - SHE SAID EXACTLY WHAT--

EXACTLY WHAT TAYLOR SAID.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

WE HAVE A FREE WEEKEND.

I MEAN, WE COULD BE BACK IN VEGAS IN AN HOUR.

- WHEN YOU INFLICT [bleep] ON SOMEONE LIKE THAT,

THEY DESERVE IT.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

THAT'S WHY I'M NOT REMORSEFUL.

THAT'S WHY I DON'T EVEN CARE ONE BIT.

- I'M NEVER GONNA FEEL GOOD

ABOUT HAVING TAYLOR AND RUSSELL LEAVE TONIGHT.

BUT WHEN YOU HAVE ONE FRIEND SUING ANOTHER FRIEND,

IT'S GONNA MAKE EVERYBODY EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

- SHE CONTINUOUSLY INVOLVES ALL OF US.

IT'S NOT FAIR...

BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

ULTIMATELY, SHE HAS TO MAKE THE DECISION.

- HE DRAWS HER BACK IN.

IF SHE COULD LEAVE, SHE WOULD'VE DONE, RIGHT?

- YOU'VE SAID THAT A MILLION TIMES.

YOU'VE SAID THAT. - BUT WHY HASN'T SHE?

- YOU'VE SAID THAT A MILLION TIMES.

- EXACTLY. WHY HASN'T SHE?

- AND YOU'VE BEEN UPSET ABOUT IT.

WHY DOESN'T SHE LEAVE?

WE'VE ALL BEEN UPSET ABOUT IT.

- IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF SHE JUST CALLED LAST WEEK

AND TALKED ABOUT IT.

- WELL, I MEAN, AT THE END OF THE DAY,

YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SENT THE EMAIL, BUT...

- WELL, I CAN'T LET PEOPLE SAY FALSE THINGS LIKE THAT EITHER.

I MEAN, THAT'S PRETTY HORRIBLE.

SO...

- IT WAS EXAGGERATED.

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

IT WAS AN OUT-AND-OUT LIE.

- WHAT CAMILLE SAID WAS AN EXAGGERATION,

BUT IT CERTAINLY WAS NOT A LIE.

- THERE'S THREE SIDES TO A STORY--

HER SIDE, HIS SIDE, AND THE TRUTH.

- THE TRUTH HAS ONE STORY.

- THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING, BECAUSE WE DON'T--

UNLESS WE SEE WITH OUR OWN EYES, NOBODY KNOWS HERE.

- THAT'S MY POINT.

- WE ALL WANNA SUPPORT TAYLOR.

WE ALL WANNA BELIEVE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH.

BUT NOBODY IN THIS ROOM KNOWS THAT.

AND I'M NOT DEFENDING RUSSELL,

BECAUSE GOD FORBID HE REALLY DID DO SOMETHING.

BUT WHAT IF, GOD FORBID, HE DIDN'T?

- WE'RE MAKING ALL THIS PROGRESS,

AND FOR PEOPLE TO JUST SAY OUT-AND-OUT LIES LIKE THAT,

I MEAN, IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

I CAN'T JUST SIT BY IDLE.

- IF ANY OF YOU SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT--

IF ANY OF YOU SAID TO ME

THAT A GUY EVEN WENT LIKE THIS TO YOU,

I WOULD GO--I WOULD BE PISSED.

- SHE DIDN'T COME TO ME FIRST. THEY ALL KNEW.

- THAT'S NOT MY POINT. - THEY ALL KNEW.

- IF MY GIRL SAID IT, IT HAPPENED.

THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVE.

- I DID...

YOU KNOW...

TALK ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE AT TIMES, AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

AND I'VE APOLOGIZED FOR THAT.

SO...

ALL COUPLES FIGHT.

- OKAY, THE FIRST NIGHT I MET HER AT VILLA BLANCA,

SHE TOLD ME HER STORY.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE MY OPINION OF RUSSELL.

AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY HONEST THAT--

- WELL, LET'S GO TRY TO ENJOY OURSELVES, PLEASE.

- HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT?

- I PUT TOO MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS PARTY

NOT TO TRY TO ENJOY IT.

- HOT FRENCH FRIES!

- OH, THANK YOU.

- THANKS. - YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?

- HERE, BUTTERCUP. - THANK YOU, BUTTERCUP.

- CHEESEBURGER! - CHEESEBURGER EVERYTHING ON IT?

- I WANT ONE. - EVERYTHING ON IT.

- EVERYTHING ON IT? - I'M DEPRESSED NOW.

[mariachi music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- HEY, WERE YOU CRYING BEFORE?

- YES. - WHY?

- BECAUSE A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE, TAYLOR--

BASICALLY WE HAD TO TELL HER SHE HAD TO LEAVE.

♪♪ ♪♪

- COME HERE AND DANCE WITH ME.

[music stops, people cheering]

- SORRY.

[Jarabe Tapatío plays]

♪♪ ♪♪

- TAYLOR WAS ASKED TO LEAVE THE PARTY BY KYLE.

- YEAH. - WAS SHE...

- IT'S VERY EMBARRASSING. - DRINKING?

- NO. - WHY?

- SHE JUST ARRIVED WITH RUSSELL, AND IT ALL KICKED OFF.

SO...

- I THINK WITH SOME LEGAL MATTER.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO--

- THANK GOD IT'S NOT ME THIS YEAR.

[both laughing]

- DID YOU GO TO ANY OF HER CLUBS IN THE PALMS?

- WE DID. - WE HAD FUN.

- I HAD GREAT TIME.

IT WAS, LIKE, SUPER FUN, LET LOOSE,

DID SOME DIRTY DANCING,

MADE OUT WITH SOME HOT BLONDE NAMED CAMILLE.

I TRIED TO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR WIFE.

I DON'T THINK SHE WANTED TO.

- I WOULDN'T WANT YOU KISSING MY WIFE.

I KNOW GUYS LIKE THAT STUFF.

- YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY I KNOW THAT WOULDN'T BE INTO THAT.

- NOT WITH MY WIFE, NO.

- BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE COULDN'T COMPETE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

SO THERE YOU GO.

- LET'S ALL GO DANCE. - LET'S GO DANCE.

COME ON, BOYS. - LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

- LOOK AT KEN. LOOK AT KEN.

- UGH. [giggles]

- IT WASN'T JUST KEN THAT THEY WERE LOOKING AT.

THEY WERE LOOKING AT ME WITH KEN.

AND IT'S JUST-- WE TAKE OVER.

WE TAKE OVER THE FLOOR, YOU KNOW?

WE JUST... [clicking tongue]

IT'S OUR TIME.

- [gasps]

- WHOO-HOO. "LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM--I TOLD YOU."

I THINK SHE'S FULL OF IT.

- COMING UP...

- I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S NO LANDING STRIP.

- [bleep]. OH, MY GOD!

[water running]

- KEN! - YEAH?

- YOU KNOW GIGGY CAN'T GO TO HAWAII.

HE'S NOT GOING.

- WELL, YOU BETTER TELL HIM THAT, 'CAUSE HE'S ALL READY.

LOOK. - AW.

- HE'S GOT HIS HAWAIIAN SHIRT ON.

- [laughing] - THAT IS SO CUTE.

- WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DO YOU GOT ON?

- DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII FOR MAURICIO'S BIRTHDAY,

AND, OBVIOUSLY,

TAYLOR AND RUSSELL AREN'T COMING WITH US.

UM, NO, I MEAN, THE SITUATION BETWEEN TAYLOR AND I

IS KIND OF, YOU KNOW, RADICALLY IMPROVED.

TO THEN SAY, "YOU CAN'T COME TO HAWAII"...

- YEAH, I FEEL SORRY FOR HER. - KYLE'S INVITED BRANDI...

WHICH I'M NOT SURE ABOUT.

REMEMBER SHE WAS SEEN WITH CEDRIC A COUPLE OF TIMES?

SHE'S GOING.

- OH, TALKING ABOUT CEDRIC, I SAW HIM...

THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY-- YESTERDAY.

- WHAT DID HE SAY?

- HE SAID, "OH, I'M WORKING WITH THIS

INTERIOR DESIGNER, DECORATOR."

A FAMOUS, FAMOUS, FAMOUS INTERIOR DESIGNER.

AND I'M HIS... - LOVER?

- "LIFE COACH." - [laughing]

- I SAID, "CEDRIC"-- - ARE YOU SERIOUS--"LIFE COACH"?

- "WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WHAT DO YOU--"

- LIFE COACH? - LIFE COACH.

- CEDRIC WANTS TO BE A LIFE COACH...

MORE LIKE A LIFE ROACH.

- COME ON! LET'S GO.

LOLLIPOP. [whistles]

COME ON.

- HONEY!

HONEY, NO MORE WORKING OUT. ENOUGH.

I DON'T GET A CHANCE TO. IT'S NOT FAIR YOU GET TO.

- WHAT'S UP?

- WHERE'S THE REST OF MY LUGGAGE?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "THE REST"? HOW MUCH LUGGAGE DO YOU NEED?

- I LIKE TO HAVE MY THINGS. I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT, BABE.

- YOU WANNA BORROW MINE? I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOURS IS.

- YOUR IS THE UGLY ONE. HONEY?

- YEAH. - KEN IS COMING.

NOT LISA'S KEN-- KIM'S KEN.

THEY'RE LIVING TOGETHER, SO OBVIOUSLY THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- [scoffs]

UM...

I'M SHOCKED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

- IF THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET KIM TO COME TO HAWAII

IS FOR HER TO BRING KEN, THEN FINE.

SHE CAN BRING HIM.

WILL I GIVE HIM A CHANCE? [sighs]

I NEED ALL NEW BATHING SUITS. - I'M, LIKE, DONE.

TWO BATHING SUITS AND TWO T-SHIRTS.

- IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

- THIS WAY? THIS WAY.

HI! - ALOHA.

WELCOME TO HAWAIIAN AIRLINES. - THANK YOU.

- UH-- - FIRST TIME IN LANAI?

- YES, FIRST TIME-- I'M VERY EXCITED.

- HI. - HI.

HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD, GOOD. AND YOU?

- GOOD.

- HOW YOU DOING? - FANTASTIC.

- WHAT'S THE LAST NAME, PLEASE?

- GRAMMER. HOW MANY BAGS ARE YOU CHECKING?

- UM, ONE.

I THINK IT'S GOOD THAT TAYLOR'S NOT COMING TO HAWAII RIGHT NOW.

- SHE GOT BACKED UP AGAINST A WALL, TAYLOR.

YOU'VE BEEN BACKED UP AGAINST A WALL TOO.

- SHE DID NOT.

OUTSIDE. - TAYLOR!

- WE NEED A BREAK.

- WHERE'S KIM?

- KIM IS M.I.A. AS USUAL.

- KIM IS NOT HERE.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S RUNNING A LITTLE LATE

OR IF SHE'S JUST NOT GONNA SHOW UP.

- WHAT'S GOING ON? - I MEAN, WHERE IS SHE?

- I'M GONNA CALL KIM RIGHT NOW. - I MEAN, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

IT'S SO GOOD, ISN'T IT? [line trilling]

- SHE'S NOT EVEN ANSWERING.

SHE'S GONNA MISS THE FLIGHT.

- DO YOU THINK SHE'S DOWNSTAIRS? - SHE'S NOT PICKING UP.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I MEAN, HOW CAN SHE DO--

- IF IT WAS ANYBODY ELSE, I'D BE SURPRISED.

SORRY.

- I CALLED HER, AND SHE SAID, "OH, MY GOD.

I'M TRYING TO GET IT TOGETHER. THE ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF."

- IT'S THE STORY OF HER LIFE--

THE ALARM DIDN'T GO OFF, SHE DOESN'T SHOW UP.

- THE POWER WENT OFF. I DON'T KNOW.

- [chuckles] WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HER?

- THIS IS SO TYPICAL KIM.

[line trilling]

- KYLE, I HAVE AN EXPIRED DRIVER'S LICENSE,

AND I'M TRYING TO FIND MY PASSPORT NOW.

- SHE DOESN'T NEED A PASSPORT. - THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO.

- TELL HER SHE'S NOT FLYING INTERNATIONAL.

- WHAT? - SHE DOESN'T NEED A PASSPORT.

- NO, BUT HER DRIVER'S LICENSE IS EXPIRED.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU FIXED THAT,

'CAUSE I ASKED YOU TO GO TO THE DMV WITH ME,

AND YOU SAID NO, YOU ALREADY FIXED THAT.

- WELL, I LIED TO YOU.

- KIM! - SHE'S NOT COMING.

- SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YOU DON'T HAVE AN I.D. TO GET ON THE PLANE?

- I HAVE THE PASSPORT, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR IT.

I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

- DID YOU BRING YOUR PASSPORT TOO?

- WHAT DOES SHE MEAN SHE'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE?

IF SHE'S LOOKING FOR IT... both: SHE'S STILL AT HOME?

- ARE YOU--ARE YOU AT L.A.X.?

- NO, I'M AT HOME LOOKING FOR MY [bleep] KEYS!

- WHAT'D SHE THINK, THE PLANE'S GONNA WAIT FOR HER?

- YOU'RE AT THE HOUSE?

- SHE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT. SHE'S 45 MINUTES AWAY.

- WHAT TIME IS THE NEXT FLIGHT?

- NEXT FLIGHT'S AT 6:00 P.M. TODAY.

- NEXT FLIGHT IS 6:00 P.M.

- I'M COMING. - LOVE YOU, BYE.

- SHE SOUNDS UPSET, DOESN'T SHE?

- LOVE YOU. - IS SHE CRYING?

- WHATEVER.

- OH, MY GOD. - WILL SHE MAKE THE 6:00...

IF SHE STARTS NOW? - TELL HER IT'S AT 3:00.

- I MEAN, MAYBE--MAYBE--

- WE SHOULDN'T HAVE EVEN SAID 6:00.

WE SHOULD'VE SAID IT'S AT 3:00.

- 3:00.

- I WOULD NOT BE SAD IF KIM COULDN'T MAKE IT.

I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST STAY HOME.

- AT LEAST SHE'S HONEST-- "I LIED TO YOU."

- SHE WASN'T THEN.

- TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.

- WE ARE READY TO BOARD?

- WE'RE READY TO BOARD? - YES?

- WELL, SHE'S NOT COMING.

- TATER TOTS.

- BUT SHE MUST UNDERSTAND THAT. I MEAN, A CAR'S COMING AT 7:00.

IT'S 9:30. - I WOULD THINK SO.

- OH, MY GOD. SAME OLD STORY.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOME DRAMA AROUND KIM.

- WE NEED A MAI TAI OR A-- WHOSE IS THIS?

I'M TAKING SOMEBODY'S DRINK. - THAT'S MINE.

- I'M UPSET BECAUSE I REALLY WANT HER TO BE THERE WITH US.

- THAT'S YOUR BIG SISTER, HONEY.

- SO HOW ARE YOU?

- WELL, I'M OKAY.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN HAWAII WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS.

UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, RUSSELL HAD SENT AN EMAIL TO CAMILLE

THREATENING LITIGATION FOR THE STATEMENT THAT SHE MADE.

- OH.

- SHE WAS ONLY REPEATING THINGS THAT I HAD TOLD HER.

- RIGHT.

- BUT I HAD NO IDEA THAT RUSSELL WOULD THREATEN HER

WITH A LAWSUIT.

THEY WERE SAYING, "YOU CAN'T COME INTO THE PARTY

BECAUSE CAMILLE'S INSIDE."

- WHERE WERE YOU AND RUSSELL COMMUNICATING AT ALL

THROUGH ANY OF THIS?

- WE WEREN'T COMMUNICATING THROUGH IT.

- DON'T YOU FIND THAT ODD THAT YOU WOULDN'T--

I MEAN, YOU JUST GOT THROWN OUT OF A PARTY.

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT?

DID HE SAY "I LOVE YOU.

"I'M SO SORRY THAT I MAY HAVE TARNISHED YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

"WITH THESE WOMEN AND WHATEVER.

I'M SORRY THAT OUR NIGHT WAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN"?

- NO.

- SO THERE'S NO OWNERSHIP, REALLY.

- I GUESS NOT.

- AND HOW DOES THAT FEEL? - IT FEELS HORRIBLE.

IT MAKES-- I'M ANGRY ABOUT IT NOW.

HAVING MY FRIENDS TELL ME I CAN'T GO TO HAWAII

BECAUSE OF SOMETHING RUSSELL EMAILED,

I JUST REALLY FELT LIKE I WAS IN SHOCK

WHEN I WAS IN THE LIMO ON THE WAY HOME

AND FEELING LIKE I THEN DIDN'T WANNA GO HOME

AND START A HUGE FIGHT WITH RUSSELL,

BUT I NEEDED TO SEE THE EMAIL TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON.

SO I HAD HIM PRINT IT OUT TO ME.

AND THEN I READ IT, AND I WAS...

FLOORED.

AND I SAID, "YOU DIDN'T GIVE HER AN OUT.

"YOU SAID, 'IF YOU DON'T SAY YOU DIDN'T SAY IT,'

HE WAS GONNA PURSUE LEGAL CHANNELS."

- WELL, BUT THAT'S A THREAT... BASICALLY.

SO THERE WAS NO COLLABORATION. HE DIDN'T WANNA WORK WITH HER.

IF SHE DIDN'T DO WHAT HE WANTED HER TO DO.

- RIGHT. EXACTLY.

AND SO IT JUST FELT VERY BULLYING.

AND ONCE I READ IT,

OF COURSE I UNDERSTOOD THE SITUATION,

AND THEN I JUST FELT SO ANGRY AT HIM

FOR THE FACT THAT HE CANNOT CONTROL HIMSELF.

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POSITION THAT THESE FRIENDS OF YOURS

ARE IN ALL THE TIME? - I DO.

- IT'S A CATCH 22.

THEY WANNA RESCUE. THEY WANNA HELP.

THEY HEAR THE CRIES FOR HELP,

BUT THEN THEY GET THEIR HANDS SLAPPED...

- RIGHT. RIGHT. - OR THEY GET THREATENED.

- NOW IT'S AFFECTING MY FRIENDSHIPS,

NOT JUST MY MARRIAGE.

AND I'M NOT MAD AT THE LADIES. I'M JUST MAD AT HIM.

[voice breaking] YOU KNOW, I'M TRYING TO CONTAIN

THE WAY RUSSELL BEHAVES AND REACTS.

- YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR YEARS--

THE CONSTANT MANAGEMENT OF RUSSELL

SO THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANOTHER EXPLOSION

OR THE MANAGEMENT OF YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING

SO THERE'S NOT ANOTHER EXPLOSION.

- [crying] I DON'T WANNA BE ATTACHED TO HIS BEHAVIORS.

I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER. I REALLY CAN'T.

I MEAN, I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M OVERWHELMED WITH ALL OF THIS.

- YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.

DO YOU WANNA LIVE YOUR LIFE THIS KIND OF FLOATING THROUGH IT,

OR DO YOU WANNA JUST DO CRISIS MANAGEMENT

JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE PRICE YOU HAVE TO PAY TO HAVE A MAN

IN YOUR LIFE?

- I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T MANAGE THESE CRISES ANYMORE.

IT'S JUST GETTING TOO MUCH.

- WELL, HOW--TO WHAT PRICE? IS MY QUESTION TO YOU.

THE COSTS GET HIGH, AND YOU'RE NOT AWARE OF THE PRICE

THAT'S BEING PAID HERE.

AND WHO'S REALLY PAYING IS KENNEDY.

IT'S TIME FOR A TOUGH DECISION.

- [sighs]

- COMING UP...

- HELLO? - WHERE ARE YOU?

- WHAT?

- WHAT DID SHE SAY?

- ARH! [laughter]

- WELCOME TO HAWAIIAN AIRLINES, FLIGHT NUMBER 3.

WE WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME OUR FIRST-CLASS CUSTOMERS.

- GET BACK IN ECONOMY. SHE'S AT THE BACK, RIGHT?

- GOOD MORNING. - THANK YOU.

[imitates choking]

MY GOD.

[laughter]

OH, NO-- OH, THANK YOU.

THAT'S SO PRETTY.

- SHOULD WE SAY CHEERS, EVERYBODY?

- HONEY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. - THANK YOU.

- SHOULD WE SAY CHEERS, EVERYBODY? TO HAVING A LOT OF FUN,

BUT I REALLY DO WISH TAYLOR COULD BE HERE.

HONEY...

SHOULD WE CHECK KIM? SHOULD WE CALL HER REAL QUICKLY?

- YOU CALL HER.

- YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET FRUSTRATED.

THERE'S NO WAY SHE'S GONNA MAKE IT NOW.

[line trilling]

- HELLO? - WHERE ARE YOU?

- I'M ON THE NEXT FLIGHT.

- OH, OKAY. THE 6:00 FLIGHT?

- WHAT? - ARE YOU ON THE 6:00 FLIGHT?

- DOES SHE KNOW PAUL'S ON THAT?

- PAUL IS TAKING A LATER FLIGHT BECAUSE HE HAD BUSINESS.

- KIM! - WHAT?

- ANSWER ME. YOU'RE ON THE 6:00 FLIGHT?

- KYLE, I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN!

- I KNOW. I'M ASKING YOU WHICH FLIGHT YOU'RE ON--

THE 6:00?

- I'M ON THE PHONE WITH BETTE, BOOKING IT NOW.

- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THERE. HOPEFULLY.

LOVE YOU, BYE.

- WHAT DID SHE SAY? - WHAT DID SHE SAY?

- ARH! [laughter]

- DID SHE SAY BETTE'S BOOKING IT NOW?

- SHE SAID I'M TRYING TO BOOK IT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE SAID. - OH, MY GOD.

- IT'S BEST SHE'S NOT ON THIS FLIGHT.

- FOR SURE. - IT'S REALLY BEST.

- WHEN PAUL FINDS OUT THAT KIM'S GONNA BE ON HIS FLIGHT--

HEY, HONEY. HEY, LISTEN, UM...

KIM MIGHT BE ON THE FLIGHT WITH YOU.

HE'S PROBABLY WISHING HE HAD

A SCREAMING BABY UP FRONT INSTEAD.

YOU CAN STAY IN THE SAME ROOM AS KIM.

[laughter]

- WHAT IS THAT?

- WE HAVE RASPBERRY MOUSSE CAKE, TIRAMISU, AND--

- I'LL HAVE ONE OF EACH. THAT'S FINE.

- THERE'S A REALLY GREAT DRINK CALLED 16 OUNCES OF FREEDOM.

- NO, I HAVEN'T.

- YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT 16 OUNCES OF FREEDOM?

- I'D LOVE 16 OUNCES OF FREEDOM. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- I LIKE EIGHT INCHES OF FREEDOM.

- IS THAT ALL?

- SORRY. OOPS, DID I SAY THAT?

- SO, IF KIM TAKES THE 6:00 FLIGHT,

WHAT TIME WILL SHE ARRIVE THERE? - TOMORROW.

- TOMORROW. SHE'LL SLEEP IN HONOLULU TONIGHT WITH PAUL--

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE'LL SLEEP WITH PAUL TONIGHT?

- KIM AND PAUL ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER.

- THAT'S HER PUNISHMENT FOR BEING LATE.

[laughing]

- I'M REALLY TRYING HARD NOT TO LET

KIM'S MISSING THE PLANE GET TO ME.

IT IS BOTHERING ME,

BUT I REALLY DON'T WANNA RUIN MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY.

- DO YOU THINK SOMETHING ELSE IS GOING ON?

I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T WANNA BRING

THIS GUY AROUND US.

- WELL, THAT MAKES ME LIKE HIM LESS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE THIS WEEKEND...IF THEY SHOW UP.

- HAVE YOU MET HIM? - YEAH, I MET HIM BRIEFLY.

- AND WHAT DID YOU THINK?

- WELL, I HAVE NO OPINION AT ALL.

I MET HIM FOR ABOUT 15 SECONDS.

- SHE WENT THROUGH A VERY BAD TIME IN HER LIFE,

AND I ASSOCIATE HIM WITH THAT TIME.

- SHE SEEMS TO BE IN A BETTER SPACE NOW.

- IS SHE, LISA?

- WELL, SHE SEEMED HAPPIER EVERY TIME I'VE SEEN HER.

- I KNOW MY SISTER. SHE'S NOT HAPPY.

- IF I SAY I'M HAPPY, THEN I'M HAPPY.

[sobbing hysterically] - [softly] STOP.

- JUST LET IT BE AND JUST SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

- BUT SHE'S NOT HAPPY.

- SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEFORE, WAS SHE?

- SHE WAS LONELY.

- MAYBE SHE'D RATHER BE... WITH HIM, BUT NOT LONELY.

WHO KNOWS?

[soft beep] - ALOHA, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE HAVE BEGUN OUR DESCENT INTO HONOLULU, HAWAII.

- YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.

- THANK YOU. IT WAS SO GOOD.

- WE TOOK A PLANE TO HONOLULU,

BUT NOW WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER PLANE TO GET TO LANAI.

SO MY HUSBAND GOT A PRIVATE PLANE,

AND I'M EXPECTING, LIKE, A BEAUTIFUL JET, PERHAPS.

WHAT THE FLIP IS THAT? - IT'S A TIN MACHINE.

- I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE ISLAND HOPPER.

I ASKED THEM SPECIFICALLY IF THIS IS WHAT IT WAS GONNA BE,

AND THEY SAID NO. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- IT'S LIKE A [bleep] HOOVER VACUUM.

- OH, MY GOD-- WHEN I SAW THIS PLANE,

I WAS LIKE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME ON THAT.

ABSOLUTELY NOT. [laughs] OH, MY GOD.

THEY'RE JOKING. THIS CAME OUT THE MUSEUM.

SPARE NO EXPENSE, MAURICIO.

- HE TOLD ME IT WAS A 30-SEATER PRIVATE PLANE.

- IT'S A 30-SEATER PRIVATE PLANE.

IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE IN HERE? - THIS IS A BUS WITH WINGS.

- HAVE A DRINK, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT GONNA GET BETTER.

I TOOK SOME XANAX FOR THE PLANE RIDE,

BECAUSE I AM A VERY FEARFUL FLIER.

[engine sputtering]

- CAN YOU PASS ME THE TAPE? THERE'S A HOLE IN MY DOOR HERE.

- LOOK AT THE THING. IT LOOKS LIKE AN--LIKE A--

PROPELLERS!

A FAN-- IT LOOKS LIKE A FAN.

- YOU GUYS, THERE'S REALLY NO ISSUES--THESE ARE SAFER PLANES.

- IT'S A CHEAPER PLANE. - [laughs]

- DON'T LIE TO ME.

- BRANDI, YOUR ANKLE'S FATTER THAN THE REST OF YOU.

- DON'T GET JEALOUS OF MY CANKLE,

BECAUSE THIS IS HOW I ROCK AND ROLL.

IT'S GONNA BE SUPER HOT.

- I AM JEALOUS OF YOUR CANKLE.

- DON'T. DON'T DO IT. IT'S HOT.

♪♪ IT'S HOT, IT'S HOT ♪♪

I WAS SO AFRAID TO FLY THAT I USED TO ROOFIE MYSELF.

IT WAS AWESOME.

I WISH I COULD STILL DO THAT, BUT IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.

- HERE WE GO!

- OH, THIS IS LIKE A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE ALREADY.

- WATCH.

[laughing] OUCH! OUCH!

OW! ARE YOU CRAZY?

- IT'S SO--

[bleep]. OH, MY GOD.

- IT'S GONNA BE FINE. - OH, MY GOD.

- WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S NO LANDING STRIP.

IT'S GONNA BE A BIT BUMPY, ISN'T IT?

- GONNA BE REALLY BUMPY. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[cheers and applause]

- WE LOVE THIS PLANE!

- THIS PLANE IS GREAT.

- WHOO-WHOO! OKAY.

BUT IT'S SO LOVELY-- OH, MY GOSH.

- OH, MY GOD.

- THANK GOD MY BAG IS HERE.

MELE KALIKIMAKA.

- [laughs]

- AAH! DON'T PUSH.

- IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY. A BEACH WOULD BE NICE.

- VERY NICE. - SUNSET.

- A COCKTAIL WOULD BE BETTER. - A COCKTAIL, A BEACH.

- COCK AND BEACH. [laughing]

- KEN AND LISA, YOU GUYS ARE BOTH VERY, LIKE--

I HAVEN'T SEEN THE LOVE BETWEEN YOU GUYS,

BUT I'M GUESSING IT'S THERE.

I'VE BEEN SEEING THIS-- WHAT'S ALL THIS?

OH, BECAUSE YOU SAT IN FRONT OF ME THE WHOLE TIME.

IT'S LIKE-- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

- IT'S THERE. IT'S THERE, BRANDI.

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING. IT'S THERE.

IT'S BEEN THERE 30 YEARS. IT'S THERE.

- ALL RIGHT.

- BRANDI'S, LIKE, OUT OF CONTROL.

I ACTUALLY THINK THE GAS TANK

IN HER BRAIN IS RUNNING ON EMPTY RIGHT NOW.

- MY BEST FRIEND-- - HER BEST FRIEND...

THAT SHE WANTS TO SET ME UP WITH.

- HE'S SUPER HOT--

WANTS TO BUY-- HE HAS LIKE A TON OF MONEY.

HE WANTS TO BUY A "RED FERRARI." - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

- AND I SAID-- IT'S HORRID.

- I LOVE RED FERRARIS. - I LOVE SPORTS CARS.

- RED MEANS YOU HAVE-- LIKE, YOU'RE A DOUCHE BAG.

YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS, AND IT'S JUST SUCH--

- TELL HIM WHEN HE STARTS DATING ME,

I'LL OKAY HIM ON THE RED FERRARI.

- NO! YOU CAN'T!

- SO YOU'RE SAYING EVERYBODY THAT DRIVES RED FERRARI--

- THEY'RE A DOUCHE BAG, AND THEY HAVE A SMALL PENIS.

- OKAY.

- BUT THE PROBLEM IS MY BROTHER HAS ONE.

- WHAT, A SMALL PENIS?

- HEY, MY BROTHER HAD A RED FERRARI.

GUESS WHAT. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- I PROMISE YOU GUYS NOTHING MORE THAN A LOT MORE

OF A GUTTERMOUTH THIS WEEKEND.

BUT I LOVE YOU ALL, AND I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING BAD BY IT.

- IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

WHERE'S THE OCEAN? - AMAZING.

IT'S AMAZING. - COULD YOU SPEED UP?

- COULD YOU SPEED UP A BIT?

- EVERYONE NEEDS COCKTAILS! MAKE IT HAPPEN!

- [laughing] - STAT.

- BRANDI HAD SOME OUTRAGEOUS THINGS TO SAY ON THE BUS RIDE,

BUT I DIDN'T MIND THEM, 'CAUSE SHE CRACKS ME UP.

[Brandi yelping]

- ALOHA. - ALOHA!

- WELCOME TO FOUR SEASONS LANAI. - THANK YOU.

- PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU.

- OH! ALOHA. - ALOHA. HOW ARE YOU?

- MR. MAURICE? - YES, SIR.

- WELCOME. - THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- WELCOME TO FOUR SEASONS LANAI.

- OH, THANK YOU.

IT GOES PERFECTLY WITH MY OUTFIT.

- I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER.

IT LOOKS VERY ROMANTIC, AND I'M EXCITED TO BE HERE.

- WELCOME TO YOUR SUITE.

- THANK YOU. BEAUTIFUL.

- OH, DARLING, I MIGHT MAKE AN EXCEPTION--

CHRISTMAS, BIRTHDAYS, AND MAYBE HAWAII.

- REALLY?

- TAKE ME NOW BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.

- OH, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.

- SO PRETTY, HUH?

- ALOHA. - WE HAVE MAI TAIS FOR YOU.

- OH, FANTASTIC.

- I HEAR A GIRL'S VOICE. WHO'S HERE?

- I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS.

- HELLO. - EXCUSE ME.

OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THAT TOP. I ALMOST GOT IT.

- IT'S LIKE A COVER-UP. - I LOVE IT.

- ALOHA.

- HELLO! - HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW?

- I'M HIGHLY MEDICATED AT THE MOMENT.

ALL THE XANAX JUST KICKED IN,

AND I CAN BARELY PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER.

IT'S GREAT. - WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD.

- OH, THANKS. YES.

- HELLO. - HELLO.

LOOK AT YOU.

- I'M ALL BRUSHED UP. - LOOK AT YOU, MY GOSH.

- GORGEOUS. - WOW. MY GOD.

THE GIRLS ARE OUT TONIGHT. HELLO, DARLING.

- HEY, GIRLS. - HI. MWAH.

- HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.

- I CAN'T BE MORE RELAXED BECAUSE...

I TOOK A XANAX, AND IT HIT ME AFTER A COUPLE DRINKS.

I THINK THE COMBINATION... AND NOW I'M HERE.

- SHE'S ONLY SIPPING IT.

- OH, HE'S GOT MY BACK.

I'VE BEEN TRAVELLING ALL DAY-- FROM THE PLANES--

AND SO I CAN'T--

- BACK OFF. GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND.

DO I HAVE TO COME OVER THERE?

OH, FOR [bleep] SAKE. RIGHT?

AT LEAST PUT UP, LIKE, A LITTLE DEFENSE.

- I DIDN'T WANT TO BE OFFENSIVE. - JUST MOVE IT.

AND THAT RIGHT NIPPLE'S ABOUT TO POP OUT.

- WELL, THANK YOU FOR THAT. THANK YOU.

I THINK LISA'S NOT REALLY JEALOUS.

SHE'S LIKE, "PLEASE TOUCH HIM.

MAKE HIM HAPPY, SO I DON'T HAVE TO."

- KEN'S OVER THERE A LITTLE TOO LONG.

- WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE DIFFERENT ISLANDS.

- KEN, REMEMBER ME?

- BRANDI IS DRUNK, AND SHE'S ON XANAX,

AND SHE'S ALL OVER MY HUSBAND.

- ARE YOU CRAZY? - WHAT?

- DON'T STAND OVER THERE WHILE SHE'S HANGING ON YOU

LIKE A DRUNKEN FOOL.

- I WASN'T WITH HER. I WAS TALKING TO CAMILLE.

- YEAH, YOU WERE SO CURIOUS ABOUT THE ISLANDS.

LOOK AT YOU. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE--

YOU'RE, LIKE, LICKING YOUR CHOPS OVER THERE.

- WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT? - WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OAHU.

- OAHU, YES, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANNA CALL IT--OAHU.

BLOODY HELL.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT OUT TONIGHT.

OH, MY GOOD LORD.

- COMING UP...

- HI, LIS, IT'S TAYLOR. - HEY, DARLING.

OH, DARLING.

- YOU KNOW KIM'S BOYFRIEND'S COMING TOO.

- WHAT'S HER BOYFRIEND'S NAME? - KEN.

- KEN, OH. - I SAW HIM AT THE WHITE PARTY.

- SO YOU'VE GOT A NEW MAN. WHERE IS HE? IS HE HERE?

- HE'S OVER--KEN?

- HI! - KEN!

- HI. - HI, IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

- HE LOOKS LIKE, UM, A BULLMASTIFF.

- NO, HE DOESN'T.

- HE DOES.

- A BULLMASTIFF? - YEAH.

HE'S JUST GOT THIS SOUR LITTLE FACE.

- I MEAN, THAT'S SO RUDE.

- HE DOES! - A BULLMASTIFF?

- YEAH.

AND THEN I THOUGHT HE WAS HER GAY FRIEND.

HONESTLY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS HER--

- SO HE LOOKS LIKE A GAY BULLMASTIFF?

- UH, YES.

- HE'S LOOKS MAYBE LIKE A BULLMASTIFF,

BUT NOT A GAY ONE.

- EVERYBODY HAS DIFFERENT TASTE, YOU KNOW?

- I DON'T THINK MAURICE

IS THE MOST HANDSOME GUY ON THE BLOCK.

[laughter]

- LOOSEN UP, KITTY CATS.

WE'RE ON VACATION.

[laughter]

- THANK YOU AGAIN.

- ALOHA. WELCOME TO THE FOUR SEASONS.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HELLO.

[knock at door]

HELLO, BABY. - HI.

SO LOOK AT THIS VIEW. - OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OH, YOU GOT ME-- YOU MADE ME BREAKFAST.

- DON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK. YEAH, I MADE YOU BREAKFAST.

YOU READY TO EAT?

THANK YOU.

HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT? - WASN'T BAD.

KIM WAS WITH ME AND SAID SOMETHING

ABOUT SHE MISSED THE FLIGHT, BUT...

SOMETHING TO DO WITH-- - WITH WHAT?

- I DON'T KNOW--

SOME DIFFICULTY WITH THE TRAVEL,

AND I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

- IS SHE OKAY?

'CAUSE IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE SHE WAS THAT OKAY.

- I MEAN, SHE DISAPPEARED FOR QUITE A WHILE.

- OH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE DISAPPEARED?

- IN THE RESTROOM.

SO I HOPE THAT SHE MAKES HER FLIGHT--

THE SECOND FLIGHT... - WAIT A MINUTE.

- FROM HONOLULU TO HERE.

- SHE DIDN'T COME IN WITH YOU? - NO, I CAME IN EARLY.

YEAH, I TOOK AN EARLY FLIGHT.

THEY'RE TAKING, LIKE, AN 11:00 FLIGHT OR SOMETHING.

- [scoffs]

MY FEELING IS KIM'S PROBABLY NOT GONNA MAKE THE PLANE.

I'M GONNA CALL THE KIDS, MAKE SURE--I REALLY MISS THEM.

IT'S HARD TO DO THESE TRIPS FOR TOO LONG

AND THEN NOT HAVE THEM AROUND.

IT'S LONELY.

- WELL, IT'D BE NICE TO SEE IF WE COULD ACTUALLY--

YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU AND I...

NEVER SPEND TIME ALONE.

- OKAY. I'M JUST SAYING I MISS 'EM.

- I KNOW. OF COURSE YOU DO.

- I'M JUST SAYING, LET'S TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS.

- I'M GONNA TRY TO RELAX, BUT YOU KNOW ME.

- ADRIENNE AND I DON'T GET AWAY ALONE OFTEN.

I'M GONNA CONSIDER THIS TRIP HOPEFULLY EXTREMELY ROMANTIC.

WE NEED THAT.

ARE YOU GONNA GO IN THE OCEAN AT ALL?

- NO.

- YOU PLAY WITH A DOLPHIN? - NO.

- AH.

IT JUST FEELS SO GOOD TO GET AWAY.

I NEED THIS BREAK.

- EXCUSE ME. WOULD YOU GUYS NEED A COUPLE CHAIR OUT HERE?

- YES, PLEASE. - OKAY.

- YOU GUYS WANNA FOLLOW ME OUT HERE, OR YOU GUYS WANNA--

- YES. - HOW YOU GUYS DOING TODAY?

- CAN WE GET SOME WATERS ALSO? - YEAH, SURE.

- OH, WOW.

- OH, MY GOD, YOUR BODY IS INCREDIBLE.

YOU LOOK AMAZING.

- THANKS!

- WHAT AM I DOING?

I'M GONNA HAVE TERRIBLE TAN LINES.

- THEY SHOULD HAVE A REALLY HOT GUY GOING AROUND

PUTTING SUNSCREEN ON THE GIRLS.

- YEAH, WHY DON'T THEY?

- LET'S FIND ONE. - CAN WE REQUEST THAT?

[both laugh] - EXCUSE ME.

- THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST REALLY HOT GUYS HERE, PERIOD.

- I KNOW... [both laugh]

JUST HANGIN' OUT.

I LIKE CAMILLE, BECAUSE WE HAVE A CONNECTION.

WE HAVE TWO KIDS,

CRAZY PUBLIC DIVORCES FROM ACTORS.

AND I JUST--I GET HER, AND SHE GETS ME.

- HELLO, LADIES. - HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- VERY GOOD. CAN I OFFER YOU A COLD-WATER EVIAN SPRITZ?

WANNA TRY SOME? - SURE.

YOU COULD JUST DO-- NOT THE FACE, BUT...

- SPRAY THE BODY? - YEAH.

THIS IS KIND OF WHAT WE JUST ASKED FOR.

- YEAH.

- OKAY, HAVE A GREAT DAY. - THANK YOU.

- EVIAN SPRITZ AS WELL FOR YOU, MA'AM?

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. IT SMELLS GOOD.

- HERE WE GO.

- MY FACE.

- READY? HERE WE GO.

ALSO CARE FOR SOME CUCUMBER SLICES AS WELL FOR YOUR EYES?

- THANK YOU.

- IT'S REHYDRATION FOR YOUR EYES.

- JUST PUT THEM ON MY--

- JUST PUT THEM RIGHT ON YOUR EYES.

HOW'S THAT FEEL? - FEELS NICE.

- [laughs] ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GREAT TIME.

- I SMELL LIKE A SALAD.

- OH, I SEE A FABULOUS COUPLE COMING--LISA AND KEN.

- MY GOD, YOU LOOK STUNNING. - GOOD MORNING.

HOW ARE WE FEELING? - STUNNING.

- HOW ARE WE FEELING?

- QUESTIONABLE. - OH, HOLD--HELLO, DARLING.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HELLO. MORNING. - HELLO.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

YOU COULDN'T FIND A SMALLER ONE THAN THAT?

- MORNING. - IS THAT IT?

OH, MY GOD, HER BIKINI--

THAT'S NOT A BIKINI. THAT IS BUTT FLOSS.

KEN, YOU CAN HAVE A QUICK OGLE,

AND THEN WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- MY GOD, THAT IS A MASSIVE... COSTUME.

- IT'S HUGE.

I'M NOT GONNA BEAT AROUND THE BUSH.

I MEAN, IT WAS SEE-THROUGH. ACTUALLY, THERE WAS NO BUSH.

WHY DO YOU NEED TO SIT THERE,

LIE THERE LIKE THAT AND SHOW HIM WHAT HE'S MISSING, HUH?

RIGHT, CAMILLE? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

MINE OR MINE? - "MINE OR MINE"?

BOTH OF YOURS.

- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.

- NO, I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING TOO EXCITED.

MY GOD, CAN YOU IMAGINE HER RIPPING MY SHIRT OFF.

- CAN YOU WIPE-- CAN YOU WIPE HIM DOWN?

HE'S GETTING A BIT OF A SWEAT ON HIM NOW.

- DID YOU TAKE ADVIL? - I DID.

- 'CAUSE IT STILL LOOKS SWOLLEN, DOESN'T IT?

- YEAH, IT'S STILL SWOLLEN. IT'S GONNA BE A WHILE.

- TRY TO KEEP YOUR FOOT ELEVATED SLIGHTLY.

- I'LL KEEP MY FOOT ELEVATED A MINUTE RIGHT UP YOUR JACKS

IF YOU DON'T STOP IT.

- SO, LISA, DID KIM MAKE IT? - KIM'S NOT HERE YET.

- SHE'S NOT HERE YET?

- PAUL'S HERE. - PAUL'S HERE.

- KIM'S COMING IN AT LUNCHTIME,

BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T THINK THEY COULD GET HER UP THAT EARLY.

- WHO COULD GET HER UP? - HER BOYFRIEND, KEN.

- HE CAN'T GET IT UP? WHAT?

- I THINK HE CAN GET IT UP. HE COULDN'T GET HER UP.

- DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HIM LAST NIGHT?

- YES, HE LOOKS LIKE A GAY BULLMASTIFF.

- OH, OKAY.

- ARE YOU OKAY TO WALK TO THE BEACH...

- YEAH.

- OR DO YOU WANT ME TO ARRANGE TO HAVE SOMEBODY CARRY YOU?

- NO, I'M GOOD. I CAN WALK TO THE BEACH.

- I'M GOING TO THE BEACH. - LET'S GO TO THE BEACH.

- OKAY, WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH.

- COME ON, DARLING.

- THIS IS SO PRETTY.

THIS BAY RIGHT HERE IS UNBELIEVABLE.

- THOSE DOLPHINS ARE SO CUTE.

- OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE!

- YEAH.

SHOULD I CALL KIM AND SEE IF SHE GOT ON HER FLIGHT?

- [groans] - I WAS GONNA CALL HER,

BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE'S IN AN AGGRESSIVE MOOD,

AND I DON'T WANNA HAVE A FIGHT WITH HER.

- OH, WOW! THAT THING JUST DID, LIKE, A TRIPLE FLIP.

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU JUST STAY--YOU RELAX.

- I'M NOT GONNA WORRY ABOUT IT AT ALL.

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME AND SWIM WITH THE DOLPHINS.

- EXACTLY.

LOOK WHO IT IS. - HEY!

- NICE TO SEE YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU.

- HELLO, DARLING. - WELCOME TO THE BEACH.

WHAT'S UP, BROTHER? GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW YOU FEELING?

[laughter]

HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.

- GOOD.

- YOU ARE SO FUNNY. I HAD YELLOW AND TOOK 'EM OFF.

- OH, GOSH, YOU KNOW I'D NEVER TAKE 'EM OFF.

- WHAT'D YOU GUYS DO THIS MORNING?

- WE CAME OUT HERE, RELAXED, CHILLED.

- YOU SEE THE DOLPHINS? - THEY'RE AMAZING.

- OH, MY GOSH.

[girl squeals]

- MY SISTER'S NOT HERE YET, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED.

- THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS.

BY THE TIME SHE GETS HERE, WE'LL BE GOING HOME.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

KIM, WHERE IS SHE? IN FACT, WHAT PLANET IS KIM ON?

LET'S BE HONEST.

WELL, THAT'S WHY I SAID YOU'VE GOTTA DETACH YOURSELF.

- SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T WANNA BE HERE.

SHE COULD'VE JUST TOLD ME FLAT OUT FROM THE BEGINNING,

"I DON'T WANNA GO."

- SEEMS LIKE YOU GUYS WILL NEVER WORK IT OUT, REALLY.

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING, ISN'T IT? - I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST FEEL LIKE SHE'S IN AN AGGRESSIVE MOOD,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA BE LIKE

WHEN SHE GETS HERE.

- WELL, LET'S NOT TALK TO HER ABOUT ANYTHING ABOUT BEING LATE.

I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT ALONE, PERSONALLY,

BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU WHAT-- IT'S ALREADY GOING TO BE

A LITTLE FRACTIOUS BETWEEN BRANDI AND HER.

- DID YOU GO IN THE WATER? - YES.

- HELLO, DARLING. - THAT FELT NICE, THOUGH.

- THE WATER FEELS SO GOOD. - THIS IS SO NICE.

- WE LOST BRANDI. WHERE'D SHE GO?

OH, SHE'S COMING BACK. - HERE SHE COMES.

- OH, LOOK AT THAT, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I MEAN, CAN SHE NOT RAM THAT BIKINI

A LITTLE FURTHER UP HER ASS?

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY.

DO I REALLY NEED TO COME ON HOLIDAY AT MY AGE WITH THAT?

BLOODY HELL.

[cell phone ringing]

I DON'T KNOW THIS NUMBER THAT'S CALLING ME.

HELLO? - HI, LIS, IT'S TAYLOR.

- HEY, IT'S KYLE TOO.

- HEY, DARLING. - HI. ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?

both: YEAH.

- I'M NOT ANGRY WITH TAYLOR AT ALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,

BUT I AM WITH RUSSELL.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.

- COMING UP...

- I FEEL WE'RE ALL KIND OF GUILTY SITTING ON A BEACH.

- [crying] I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

- HI, LIS, IT'S TAYLOR. - HEY, IT'S KYLE TOO.

- HEY, DARLING. - IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

HOW'S EVERYTHING BACK HOME?

- WELL, I'M ACTUALLY-- I'M JUST--

YOU KNOW WHAT? MY MARRIAGE IS OVER.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OVER?

- IT'S OVER.

- DID YOU LEAVE HIM, LIKE, OFFICIALLY LEAVE HIM?

- YES. WE'RE DONE.

HE'S MOVING OUT. HE'S GOING TO BE GONE.

- [gasps] - OH, DARLING.

- THIS WEEKEND HE'S MOVING OUT?

- YES.

HE HAS THE WHOLE WEEKEND-- - DID YOU ASK HIM TO LEAVE?

- THIS IS HAS NOT BEEN WORKING FOR A VERY LONG TIME,

AS YOU BOTH KNOW, AND I JUST SAID...

[voice breaking] "BEFORE WE HURT EACH OTHER ANYMORE

"AND ESPECIALLY BEFORE WE HURT THIS LITTLE GIRL,

WE JUST HAVE TO STOP IT."

AND SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO DO IT IN A NICE WAY

AND HOPEFULLY MOVE FORWARD WITH OUR LIVES

AND TRY TO BE THE BEST CO-PARENTS WE CAN BE

TO MY DAUGHTER.

- I'M SO SORRY. - OKAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, TAYLOR? YOU'RE BETTER OFF.

I MEAN... YOU REALLY ARE.

THANK GOD.

- TAYLOR, WHATEVER YOU DO, JUST DON'T GET INTO IT.

DON'T START FIGHTING WITH HIM.

IF YOU'VE MADE THAT DECISION,

THEN YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT CALM RIGHT NOW.

- NO, THERE'LL BE NO FIGHTING.

THE LOCKS WILL BE CHANGED.

WE BOTH RECOGNIZE THAT WE HAVE A VERY TOXIC MARRIAGE

AND THAT WE'RE UNHEALTHY TOGETHER,

AND THAT IT'S THE BEST THING.

AND HONEST TO GOD, MY HAND TO GOD,

I FEEL SO AT PEACE.

[crying] I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

- WE'RE COMING BACK IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN.

- ALL RIGHT, CALL US ANYTIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT.

WE'RE HERE IF YOU WANNA TALK. - OKAY, OKAY.

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT, DARLING. - BYE.

- OKAY. BYE-BYE.

WOW.

DID YOU EXPECT THAT OR NOT? - NO.

- I FEEL A SENSE OF RELIEF FOR HER.

I THINK SHE'S BEEN MEANING TO FIND THE COURAGE

AND THE STRENGTH TO LEAVE.

BUT I ALSO FEEL RATHER--

KIND OF GUILTY SITTING ON A BEACH,

LEAVING HER AT HOME TO DEAL WITH THE MESS.

I HAVE, LIKE, THREE TEXTS. AS I SAY, I--

- WELL, SHE JUST SAID, "CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU LAND."

AND THEN WHEN I CALLED YESTERDAY, SHE COULDN'T TALK.

I'M REALLY HOPING THAT TAYLOR LEFT RUSSELL FOR GOOD

AND THAT WHATEVER SHE NEEDS TO DO GET HERSELF ON TRACK

SHE HAS THE STRENGTH TO DO.

- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- WHOO!

- I MEAN, IF YOU'VE GOT AN ASS LIKE THAT...

YOU NEED TO SHOW IT OFF.

- WHEN YOU FLAT OUT LIE--

- SO THEN DROP IT.

THERE'S NO NEED TO FESS UP, MAURICE.

- RICHARDS, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU

FOR HALF AN HOUR.

GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR. - 40 MINUTES.

- KIM!

- SOMETIMES, BABY, SOMEBODY NEEDS TO LEARN A LESSON.

- THERE GOES THE CATAMARAN. - RIDICULOUS.

- IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE WITH US, DON'T COME.

I'M SICK OF MAKING EXCUSES FOR THAT.

- WE DON'T CARE.

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.