Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- NO, JAKEY! JAKEY!

[laughs]

AT LEAST IT'S NOT IN THE POOL.

- HER SON PEES ON THE GRASS,

AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN CORRECT HIM.

- REAL REASON I'M HERE

IS TO COME AND ASK PERMISSION TO MARRY PANDORA.

- OKAY, THEN.

- YOUR SISTER IS--IS WASTED OUT OF HER [bleep] MIND.

LEAST I DON'T DO CRYSTAL METH IN THE BATHROOM

ALL NIGHT LONG, BITCH.

[both yell indistinct]

- WATCH YOUR [bleep] MOUTH.

- DON'T YOU [bleep] THREATEN ME.

- LISTEN, LISTEN, NO. NO, NO!

STOP IT! STOP!

- LIFE IN BEVERLY HILLS IS A GAME,

AND I MAKE THE RULES.

- I'M NOT THE RICHEST GIRL IN BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT I AM THE LUCKIEST.

- PEOPLE TRY TO FIGURE ME OUT,

BUT I'M ONE OF A KIND.

- I FINALLY FOUND MY VOICE,

AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

- HAVING IT ALL IS EASY

IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT.

- DIAMONDS AREN'T A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND.

FREEDOM IS.

- [sighs] ADRIENNE?

- YES?

- SO YOU READY FOR YOUR COOKING LESSON?

- OH, PLEASE. - WHAT?

THIS IS, LIKE, GONNA BE A WAR ZONE HERE, OKAY?

- [laughs] - BE EASY ON ME.

- COME ON. - BE GENTLE.

- I WILL.

- LISA HAS ALWAYS GIVEN ME A HARD TIME

ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO COOK.

THE LAST TIME I DID A CHICKEN,

IT WAS FROZEN ON BOTH SIDES AND RAW IN THE MIDDLE.

THE ONLY WAY TO SHUT HER UP IS,

"OKAY, SHOW ME HOW TO COOK, LISA."

- OKAY, WHERE'S THE FRIDGE? FIRST THING.

- GEE, I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

- OKAY, GOOD. - OKAY?

- THAT'S A GOOD START.

- SO, IN FACT, I'VE GOT THREE OF 'EM.

I CAN COUNT.

- I'VE SOLD THOUSANDS OF CHICKEN DISHES

IN MY RESTAURANT,

SO I THINK I'M PERFECTLY QUALIFIED

TO TEACH ADRIENNE HOW TO COOK A CHICKEN.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

- IT'S RIGHT HERE. NOW WHAT?

- OKAY, WE'VE GOT TO OPEN HIM FIRST.

- WHAT DO YOU NEED? A CUTTING BOARD...

- A CUTTING BOARD AND A KNIFE? - I HAVE NO IDEA--

- WELL, WHERE'S THE CHOPPING BOARD?

- OH, WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK I KNOW WHERE IT IS.

OH. NO, THAT WOULDN'T BE IT.

DO YOU REALLY NEED A CHOP--

OH, HERE.

SEE?

OKAY. SO WHAT DO YOU--THIS--

- OKAY, OPEN HIM. - OKAY. OPEN HIM.

LET ME PUT SOME GLOVES ON, BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN SICK.

I GOT SALMONELLA POISONING, SO I'M SCARED TO DEATH.

- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. I'VE NEVER HAD THAT.

- I WANT TO PUT GLOVES ON, 'CAUSE...

- WELL, OF COURSE. JUST PUT IT ON.

- OKAY.

- NOW, RIGHT... - ALL RIGHT.

- OKAY, PICK IT UP. NOW REACH--

REACH INSIDE HIS BOTTOM.

NOW, DON'T BE COY.

- REACH...

- JUST...

- THIS IS DISGUSTING.

GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS? - OH, PLEASE, COME ON.

[laughter]

- WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS STUFF?

- PUT IT IN YOUR HANDBAG.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?

- I'LL PUT IT IN MY HANDBAG.

- GONNA TAKE HIM, WE'RE GONNA WASH HIM FIRST, OKAY?

- OH, WASH HIM FIRST. - HUH?

- DOES HE HAVE A NAME? - YEAH.

HE DID ONCE, I'M SURE.

WE'LL JUST REFER TO HIM AS "CHICKEN."

OKAY.

OKAY, WE DON'T NEED ANY SOAP.

DID YOU JUST PUT SOAP ON HIM?

- YEAH. - YOU DIDN'T.

- WELL, OF COURSE. - YOU PUT SOAP ON HIM?

- I WANT TO WASH IT.

- ON THE CHICKEN?

- LET ME TELL YOU WHY.

IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN SICK...

- YOU DON'T PUT SOAP ON IT.

- HAVE YOU EVER HAD SALMONELLA POISONING?

YOU'D DO THE SAME THING.

- YOU'RE GONNA GET SICK PUTTING SOAP ON HIM.

- NO, BUT JUST RINSE IT.

WHY WOULD YOU NOT PUT SOAP ON IT?

- OH, MY GOD.

- HOW ELSE DO YOU GET A CHICKEN CLEAN?

- NOT LIKE THAT. - OKAY.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PUT HIM IN THE DISHWASHER?

LET'S TAKE IT OFF AND PAT HIM DRY, OKAY?

- AND PAT HIM DRY? OKAY.

- AND WE'RE GONNA CUT SOME LEMON AND ONIONS.

I HAD NO IDEA IT WOULD BE THIS STRESSFUL.

WHERE ARE YOUR ONIONS?

- THEY'RE PROBABLY IN THE REFRIGERATOR, RIGHT?

- WELL, ONE WOULD HOPE SO,

BUT 'ROUND HERE, WHO KNOWS?

- UM, WHERE IN THE HECK...

OH, HERE IT IS.

OKAY.

HERE, I'LL LET YOU CUT THOSE.

- OKAY, NO, YOU CAN DO IT TOO.

OH, GOODNESS.

I HOPE THAT SHE KNOWS HER WAY AROUND THE BEDROOM

BETTER THAN SHE DOES AROUND THE KITCHEN,

FOR PAUL'S SAKE.

OKAY, LET'S PUT SOME HERBS IN HIM AS WELL, OKAY?

SALT AND PEPPER?

HAVE YOU GOT SALT AND PEPPER IN HERE?

- UH, BERNIE, WHERE'S THE SALT AND PEPPER?

- OH. THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- OKAY, GIRL. PUT THIS--STUFF IT ALL IN HIM.

- TO ME, I THINK YOU EITHER REALLY LOVE COOKING,

OR IT JUST DOESN'T INTEREST YOU.

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS BORING.

OKAY, GO AHEAD.

I CAN'T STAND TO COOK.

- SO YOU STUCK EVERYTHING UP HIS BOTTOM?

- YES. - OKAY, GO...

- OKAY. - OKAY.

- AND IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT,

SOMETHING WILL BE STUCK UP YOUR BOTTOM

IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT.

- NO SUCH LUCK FOR ME.

I HAVE TO GO ACROSS THE ROAD FOR THAT.

- YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- OKAY, NOW WE'RE GONNA PUT HIM IN HERE.

DON'T HOLD HIM LIKE THAT.

PUT HIM IN THE OVEN FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF.

- OKAY.

- AND THEN WHEN YOU TAKE HIM OUT,

YOU LEAVE HIM TO STAND FOR, LIKE, 15, 20 MINUTES

BEFORE YOU CUT HIM.

- LEAVE HIM TO STAND.

- LEAVE HIM-- YOU DON'T CARVE HIM.

- DO I STAND HIM UP?

- YOU DANCE WITH HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE, CATEGORICALLY,

IS NO HOPE FOR ADRIENNE MALOOF IN THE KITCHEN.

I JUST STUCK IT IN THE OVEN,

AND I HIGH-TAILED IT OUT OF THERE.

- HERE'S TO-- - HERE'S TO TAKE-OUT.

- HERE'S TO-- YES. THANK YOU.

- TAYLOR, DO YOU HAVE PAPER? - YEAH.

- WE CAN DO, JUST, LIKE, SOME PAPER,

SO THEY CAN DO THEIR LITTLE--

- FINGER PAINTING? - YEAH.

- PUT SOME NEWSPAPER DOWN.

- NO, THEY CAN JUST-- ON THE TABLE.

BUT WHERE'S THE FINGER-PAINTING PAPER?

OH, PERFECT.

- TAYLOR'S, DANA'S, AND MY CHILDREN

ARE ALL AROUND THE SAME AGE,

SO IT'S NICE THEY CAN PLAY TOGETHER.

CAMILLE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE DOLL AT THE CHARITY EVENT.

- THAT'S WHAT I SAID. SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BARBIE.

- THAT'S WHAT I SAID TOO. - SHE'S BUILT LIKE A BARBIE.

AND THE LITTLE DRESS, SHE LOOKED LIKE A BARBIE.

- DID BRANDI APOLOGIZE TO YOU?

- WE DIDN'T SPEAK. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I MEAN, I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I MEAN... - I KNOW.

- I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, HER, UH...

MAKING THOSE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST MY SISTER

WHEN THEY'VE NEVER MET BEFORE IS--WAS JUST--

SO UNBELIEVABLE TO ME.

- CRYSTAL METH.

- I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS WEIRD.

- IT WAS SUPER WEIRD.

- IT WAS REALLY WEIRD.

- I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY LEFT FIELD.

- WHO THINKS OF THAT?

[overlapping comments]

- SHE SAID, "I WANT TO KILL YOU."

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT FOR ONE MINUTE?

- OH, SHE SAID THAT? - OKAY, HOLD ON.

LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT THAT FOR ONE MINUTE.

- SHE DID SAY "I'M GONNA KILL YOU."

- "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?

WHERE DO YOU COME FROM-- "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?

WHO SAYS, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU"?

- OH, GOSH.

AND I COULD TELL THAT SHE FELT REALLY BAD

ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED.

SHE SAID SHE FELT VERY ISOLATED,

LIKE SHE WAS ALONE,

AND THAT WE WEREN'T GIVING--

INCLUDING HER IN THE GROUP.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER--

THE PART THAT I THOUGHT WAS SO WEIRD

THAT I ASKED HER ABOUT WAS I SAID,

"WHY DO YOU CALL YOURSELF NEGATIVE NAMES?" I--

- LIKE SAYING, "I'M A SLUT." - AND, "I'M TRAILER TRASH."

- LIKE, WHY WOULD SHE SAY STUFF LIKE THAT?

- AND SHE SAID I JUST LIKE TO SAY IT BEFORE OTHER PEOPLE DO.

BECAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS ATTACK ME...

AND, YOU KNOW, SHE JUST SAID THAT HER HUSBAND

HAS BEEN ATTACKING HER PARENTING A LOT,

AND SO THE PARENTING THING GOT HER ALL REVVED UP,

BECAUSE SHE'S REALLY INSECURE ABOUT HIM

MAYBE COMING AFTER THE KIDS,

NOW THAT HE'S GOT THIS NEW, STABLE HOME LIFE,

AND SHE'S A SINGLE MOM.

- WHEN TAYLOR TOLD ME WHAT BRANDI'S BEEN GOING THROUGH,

IT KIND OF GAVE ME A LITTLE MORE INSIGHT

AS TO WHO SHE IS

AND WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH IN HER PERSONAL LIFE,

BUT YOU DO NOT SAY ANYTHING AGAINST MY SISTER.

I DON'T EVEN CARE.

I DON'T NEED AN APOLOGY FROM HER.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.

- THERE YOU GO.

- I DON'T WANT TO BE HER FRIEND.

- OH, FEELING GOOD, LITTLE MAN?

- HELLO, GALIF. HOW ARE YOU?

ANYTHING GOOD? WHERE'S HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS?

- HI, LISA. - HOW ARE YOU?

- FEELING WELL?

- GIGGY'S NOT FEELING SO GOOD.

- GIVE HIM SOME YOGURT.

I THINK IT WILL CURE ALL.

- MOHAMED, YOU'RE NOT A VET.

- MAYBE I'M NOT A VET IN-- IN A CERTIFICATION,

BUT I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A DOG.

I HAD DOGS ONCE BEFORE.

- YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? THEY DIED, RIGHT? SO...

- HOW ABOUT SOME-- A CUP OF TEA?

- OH, I'D LOVE SOME TEA.

HOUSE IS LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.

- SOME TEA, PLEASE.

- SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

- JULIA AND I DECIDED TO DO A SURPRISE PARTY

FOR MY GODDAUGHTER PANDORA,

WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH.

- I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR GODDAUGHTER.

YOU'VE GOT TO PUT HER IN YOUR WILL, THEN.

LET'S BE HONEST. - SHE IS IN THE WILL ALREADY.

- SHE IS? - YEAH.

- OKAY, BE CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS.

[laughter]

HE ACTUALLY THINKS OF PANDORA LIKE HIS GODDAUGHTER.

IT'S IRONIC, BECAUSE SHE'S ACTUALLY THE SAME AGE

AS HIS GIRLFRIEND.

SO THEY KIND OF PLAY TOGETHER.

- GONNA HAVE DANCING GOING ON

AND GREAT FOOD AND GREAT MUSIC.

- WHAT KIND-- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

- ARABIAN NIGHT. ARABIAN THEME.

- OH, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS SO MUCH FUN.

- BELLY DANCERS. - OH, REALLY?

- "BALI" DANCERS OR "BELLY"?

- BELLY. OR BELLY AND FROM BALI.

[laughter] - OKAY.

- SHOULD WE HAVE A CAMEL OUTSIDE?

- OH.

- YEAH. - YEAH?

SET THE WHOLE THING UP

IN THE MOROCCO ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.

- LET'S GO HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

- WANT TO SEE? LET'S GO.

- MOHAMMED'S HOUSE IS ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE.

IT'S, LIKE, 60,000 SQUARE FOOT.

IT'S LIKE NOTHING I'VE EVER SEEN, CERTAINLY.

- HERE WE'RE GONNA HAVE PEOPLE SIT AROUND,

AROUND HERE.

SO THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING,

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA HAVE THEM-- AFTER PARTY HERE.

BOTH HERE.

THE EAT AND DRINK, MUSIC.

- THAT'S NAUGHTY ROOM IN THERE, ISN'T IT?

- THAT'S A NAUGHTY ROOM.

YES, THAT'S--THAT HAS BEEN A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY AREA.

- [laughs] OKAY.

- THIS IS A SECRET ROOM THAT THEY...

- THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS, MOHAMMED.

I MEAN, YOUR ROYAL NAUGHTINESS.

WHAT ON EARTH WENT ON HERE, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

- IF SOMEBODY IS TIRED,

THEY WANT TO COME AND HANG OUT AND RELAX,

WE HAVE A--A KIND OF, UH...

WE CALL IT A COMMUNE BED.

- MOHAMMED. - WHAT?

- STOP.

- YOU NEVER KNOW. SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET TIRED.

- NO, NO, I DO KNOW. IT'S NOT--

NONE OF THAT'S GOING ON HERE.

BUT IT IS AMAZING.

I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW AMAZING YOU ARE.

- BUT IT'S HERE... - IF YOU NEED IT.

- IN CASE. IF YOU NEED IT, YES.

- THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S GONNA BE DOING THAT IS YOU.

OKAY. OH, GOD.

YOU SHOULD BE GIVING THAT UP AT YOUR AGE, ANYWAY.

STOP IT.

- HA HA HA.

- I'M GETTING--YOU KNOW, I'M PRACTICING FOR MY WEDDING.

- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

IF THE WALLS HAD EARS, OH, GOOD LORD.

I'D HAVE TO PUT MY FINGER IN MINE.

THAT'S FOR SURE.

YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR THAT, MOHAMMED.

GIVE IT UP.

- GIVE IT UP? - YEAH, GIVE IT UP.

- I JUST STARTED. - [laughs]

- COMING UP...

- KIM, STOP THIS CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.

WE HAVE TO GO.

- BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE.

[laughs]

- I REALLY WANT TO HAVE

THE GIRLS ENJOY THEMSELVES FOR THE DAY,

SO I DECIDED, "WHY NOT HAVE A SPA DAY?"

I BUILT A FULL SPA AT MY HOUSE,

SO WHY GO ANYWHERE ELSE?

I BOUGHT EVERYTHING.

SPRAY-TANNING BOOTH...

LASER MACHINE.

HYDRO FACIAL.

I HAVE TWO MANICURISTS.

HOW'S EVERYTHING? OKAY?

ARE YOU SET UP?

- YES, WE'RE READY. - WONDERFUL.

- TO DO GEL OR MANNIES.

- OH, GOOD.

- THREE MASSEUSES.

TWO AESTHETICIANS.

HOW'S EVERYTHING?

- JUST GETTING SET UP. - OKAY, GOOD.

- DO YOU THINK EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY OVER HERE?

- IF YOU NEED EXTRA TOWELS...

- MM-HMM.

- UH, WE'VE GOT LOADS OF TOWELS.

- OKAY.

- SO WHATEVER YOU NEED. - OKAY.

- THREE WAITERS.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SERVING ON A TRAY...CHAMPAGNE.

SO MAYBE YOU COULD GET A TRAY FROM HIM.

- SURE. AND GET STARTED?

- AND HE CAN START AT THE DOOR

WHEN THE WOMEN WALK IN... - AS SOON AS THEY WALK IN.

- JUST GIVE 'EM A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.

- EXCELLENT. OKAY.

- AND OF COURSE MY WONDERFUL CHEF BERNIE

AND HIS AMAZING DESSERTS.

OKAY, KIDS. HI.

- HI.

- LOOKING GOOD. LOOKING REALLY GOOD.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

- THIS IS FANTASTIC. WHAT IS THIS?

- THIS IS RED VELVET CAKE.

- I LOVE THE GLITTER.

- UM, THIS IS--THIS IS MY, ACTUALLY, MY NEW ADDITION

TO MY MANY TOYS.

LET ME GET IT OUT. SEE?

AND I'M GONNA SERVE 'EM LIKE THIS ON THE TRAY.

- OH, GREAT. - WE'LL HAVE A ROW OF 'EM,

SO I'LL TAKE IT OUT ON, LIKE, A PLATTER.

- AND WHILE THE GIRLS ARE BEING PAMPERED

WE'LL BE SERVING CHAMPAGNE, CUCUMBER WATER,

FINGER FOODS, GOURMET CHEESE,

AND FROZEN YOGURT WITH 15 DIFFERENT TOPPINGS.

- THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE THE TOPPING FOR THE YOGURT,

SO THESE ARE ACTUALLY CREPES.

- THIS LOOKS GREAT. - OKAY.

- THANK YOU.

- HELLO.

HELLO?

- WHO IS THAT?

- HELLO!

OH, I'M SO EXCITED AT YOUR FOOD.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HI.

- OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU.

- HI, MY DEAR. - LOOK AT YOU. HI.

- HOW ARE YOU?

I WASN'T AT GAME NIGHT,

BUT I DID HEAR ABOUT KIM AND KYLE AND BRANDI'S ARGUMENT.

MAYBE IF I HAD BEEN THERE

IT WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN SO OUT OF HAND.

- I WILL [bleep] KILL YOU.

- OH, REALLY? IS THAT A THREAT?

- PLEASE. PLEASE. - YEAH. YEAH.

- I KNOW SHE'S VERY OUTSPOKEN,

BUT SHE'S A REALLY GOOD PERSON,

AND I'M HOPING KYLE AND KIM GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.

WHAT'S NEW?

- WHAT'S UP WITH THE CHIPPENDALES WAITERS?

- [laughs] NOT BAD LOOKING, RIGHT?

HE'S CUTE, RIGHT? REALLY CUTE.

WHAT IS THIS?

- THIS IS EDIBLE... - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

- GOLD DUST.

- I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT. ONLY...

- ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS WOULD YOU--

ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS. - ONLY IN BEVERLY HILLS, RIGHT?

- CAN I TRY IT? I WANT TO KNOW WHAT GOLD TASTES LIKE.

- YEAH. GO FOR IT.

- I'M GONNA NIBBLE ON MY JEWELRY LATER.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW? - CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS GOLD.

I'M EATING GOLD. DO YOU HAVE ANY DIAMONDS?

- [laughs]

- WHERE WERE THE DIAMONDS?

SO CHEAP.

- JUST GO TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS,

AND THERE'S A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG GENTLEMAN

WAITING TO HELP OUT.

- PUT A ROBE ON ME? - YES.

- DE-ROBE ME? - DON'T WORRY.

- HI. SORRY. I JUST WALKED RIGHT IN.

- THAT'S OKAY. YEAH.

NO WORRIES. MY HOME IS YOUR HOME.

- I KNOW, I KNOW.

REALLY? PROMISE?

- YEAH. YEAH. EXACTLY.

- HI, HONEY. HOW ARE YOU?

I LIKE YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT.

- DO YOU REALLY? - UH-HUH, I DO.

- I WAS TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY.

- HI, BABY. - HOW ARE YOU?

- YOU'RE AWFULLY DRESSED UP FOR SPA DAY.

- I KNOW. - IT'S JUST JEANS.

- HELLO. - HELLO? ANYBODY HOME?

- HELLO? OH, HELLO.

- WAI--OOH. - THAT LOOKS VERY NICE.

- HI. HELL-O.

- TIME TO CHANGE.

- WHICH SHOEBOX DO I GET?

- UM, THE ONE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

[laughs]

- NO, I WANT TO SEE WHAT WE'RE GONNA BE WEARING TODAY.

- OH, OKAY.

- OH, CUTE.

LITTLE FLORAL FLIP FLOPS.

- LET ME SEE.

- YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ADRIENNE WOULD NEVER GET US FLAT SHOES.

THERE HAS TO BE A HEEL. - HEEL FLIP FLOPS.

- SURE.

THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.

- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

- EVERYBODY'S RIGHT UPSTAIRS.

- UPSTAIRS. OKAY. GETTING DRESSED?

- YES. - INTO WHAT?

- INTO YOUR SPA OUTFITS.

- SPA OUTFIT. OKAY.

LET'S GO.

- DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING?

- WELL, YEAH. - YES.

- WHAT'S ON-- [laughter]

- WHAT'S ON THE MENU?

- SOMEBODY THAT WANTS TO TRY THIS,

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

IT EXFOLIATES, AND THEN IT PUTS VITAMINS BACK IN YOUR SKIN.

AND I PROMISE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.

YOU WANT TO DO IT?

- I NEED TO DO THAT, 'CAUSE MY SKIN IS VERY DRY.

- SO, AUBREY, YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN TO HER WHAT THIS IS?

- IS IT GONNA STRIP OFF MY TAN?

- IT'S...NOT REALLY.

- YOU'RE GONNA BE...

- 'CAUSE WHAT IF THE-- HALF THE TAN COMES OFF,

AND I WALK AROUND LOOKING LIKE I'M...

- IT DOESN'T.

I PROMISE YOU, YOU'RE GONNA...

- IT'S NOT THAT MUCH OF A, YOU KNOW...

- HELLO.

OOH.

ADRIENNE?

- ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING THAT YOU KNOW OF,

LIKE, TOPICALLY, OR--?

- WHAT--WHAT IS IT GONNA DO TO ME?

- IT'S GOING TO LIGHTLY EXFOLIATE.

- IS IT SAFE AND NO NEEDLES?

- NO, NO NEEDLES.

- FEELS VERY GOOD.

DOESN'T HURT OR ANYTHING.

AND THEN-- - THAT LOOKS, LIKE--SCARY.

- OKAY. I'M GONNA START ON YOUR FOREHEAD,

AND YOU JUST LET ME KNOW IF IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE,

WHICH IT SHOULDN'T BE.

- OKAY.

- ALL RIGHT.

- OW. JUST KIDDING.

[laughs] I'M KIDDING.

- HELLO. HOW COME YOU'RE SO LATE?

WE THOUGHT WE WERE LATE, AND THEN YOU'RE EVEN LATER.

HELLO, DARLING.

- I BEEN... BUSY DOING THINGS.

HI.

I DIDN'T THINK I WAS LATE.

SOMEBODY MUST HAVE GIVEN ME THE WRONG TIME.

- I DON'T KNOW. BUT I--

SO THIS IS ADRIENNE'S MACHINE SHE HAS AT HOME?

- YEAH, IT'S HER MACHINE.

- HOW MUCH IS A MACHINE LIKE THIS?

- A MACHINE LIKE THIS? 30,000.

- CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THAT MUCH.

- IT CAN DEFINITELY CHANGE THE SKIN.

- COULD JUST GET A WHOLE NEW FACE FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY.

ADRIENNE IS ONE LUCKY WOMAN.

I REALLY WISH I LIVED THERE.

- THE REST OF THE GIRLS ARE HERE.

THE GANG'S ALL HERE.

- HI. - HI.

- KYLE, YOUR SISTER'S FINALLY HERE.

KYLE KEEPS GOING, "IS KIM HERE? IS KIM HERE?"

- WHERE IS SHE?

- SHE'S GETTING, LIKE, A TREATMENT.

- I JUST HAD A FACIAL.

- DID YOU?

- WELL, NOT A FACIAL.

A HYDRATING...

THIS--FOR THIS MACHINE.

YOU HAVE TO DO THAT.

LOOK, I JUST DID IT. FEELS SUPER SOFT.

- MM. - PRETTY.

I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT KIM SHOWED UP AT ADRIENNE'S,

BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SHE'S GONNA SHOW UP.

ISN'T THIS PRETTY?

- OH, MY GOSH.

- OH, MY GOD. - LOOK AT THE TREES.

- SHOULD WE GO ON THE TRAMPOLINE? RIGHT NOW?

- WANT TO GO DO IT? - SHOULD WE?

- THE ONLY PROBLEM...

- YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE TRAMPOLINES.

[laughs]

DO YOU HAVE A PEDICURE?

- SO MUCH FUN.

- OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA...

AFTER FOUR KIDS, IT'S NOT FUN TO GO ON THE TRAMPOLINE.

- YES, IT IS. WATCH THIS.

OH!

DON'T--KIM, I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS.

LITERALLY.

WE WERE HAVING A LOT OF FUN.

JUST REMINDING ME OF WHEN WE WERE LITTLE,

AND JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE...

EXCEPT IT WAS BEFORE I HAD FOUR KIDS,

AND MY BLADDER WAS STRONGER THEN.

[laughs]

OW!

- FOR ME, I'M--I'M ALWAYS JUMPING ON THE TRAMPOLINE.

I LOVE IT.

BUT KYLE FELT, LIKE, KIND OF SILLY,

AND LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO.

- KIM, STOP THIS CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.

WE HAVE TO GO.

- [sighs] YEAH.

BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE, BOUNCE.

[laughs]

DO YOU WANT TO GO ON THE SEE-SAW?

[laughter]

- HI.

- HELLO.

- HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.

- YOU OKAY?

- YEAH, I GOT IT. THANKS.

WHEN ADRIENNE INVITED ME TO SPA DAY,

I THOUGHT, "OH, MY GOSH,

I'D RATHER BREAK MY OTHER LEG

THAN GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND HANG OUT WITH KIM AND KYLE.

- THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- BUT IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR ME

TO GO AND SHOW ADRIENNE THAT, YOU KNOW,

I WASN'T GONNA SKIP SOMETHING THAT SHE WANTED ME TO GO TO

BECAUSE OF THE OTHER DRAMA.

I'M GONNA BE A GOOD FRIEND TO HER.

- A RELAXING SPA DAY AND A DAY WITH BRANDI

IS KIND OF AN OXYMORON.

IS THAT POSSIBLE?

[speaking indistinct]

- COMING UP...

- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?

WHAT A TRAITOR.

- NO, NO, STOP. I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.

- OKAY, GIRLS?

GIRLS, THIS MACHINE IS AMAZING FOR YOUR FACE.

LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT THIS DOES.

SO THIS IS INFRARED LIGHTING.

IT'S ALL LIGHT THERAPY.

AND THIS WILL HELP WITH TIGHTENING OF THE SKIN,

ROSACEA, ACNE.

WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE THAT YOU WANT TO IMPROVE ON,

THIS IS THE DEAL.

- I DID A COUPLE SPA TREATMENTS

WHERE I DIDN'T HAVE TO TALK TO ANYONE ON PURPOSE,

BECAUSE I WAS SCARED.

- BRANDI, YOU OKAY OVER THERE?

WHAT IS IT? LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING INTO SURGERY.

- I KNOW. IT'S FINE.

I JUST--THERE'S NOTHING.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE RESULTS.

- DID YOU SEE BRANDI?

- NO. YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDED?

NOT WORTH MY TIME.

I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY THAT'S GONNA BE NEGATIVE,

THAT'S GONNA TALK LIKE THAT.

IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT HER.

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

I DON'T THINK SHE'S CUTE.

I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOT A PRETTY MOUTH.

DIRTY, DIRTY, UGLY MOUTH.

LIKE A SEWER.

NO. IT'S NOT SOMEBODY I WANT IN MY HOUSE.

NO, THANK YOU.

DON'T EVEN CARE TO SEE, DISCUSS.

- YEAH, BUT SHE'S GONNA BE IN THE ROOM WITH US.

WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

- I HAVE A CHOICE.

IT'S CALLED SELECTIVE HEARING, SELECTIVE SEEING.

SELECTIVE ACKNOWLEDGMENT.

[laughter]

- SELECTIVE IGNORING.

- WHATEVER.

- YOU FEED INTO IT,

IT'S LIKE FEEDING...

A PLANT THAT YOU LOVE,

OR FEEDING...

- A PIRANHA.

[laughs]

- WOW. SEE, THIS LOOKS AMAZING.

- CHECK THESE OUT.

THIS IS AMAZING, ADRIENNE.

IT REALLY IS JUST SPECTACULAR.

- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME.

- OF COURSE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

HELP YOURSELF. - OKAY, THANK YOU.

- BEFORE MY YOGURT, I'M HUNGRY.

I'LL HAVE SOME CHEESE.

I LIKE TO EAT A LOT.

- [laughs]

- TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT.

[crack] OOPS.

- UH-OH.

- ADRIENNE'S SPA DAY.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

I DON'T THINK ANYTHING LIKE THIS EXISTS.

- THAT'S THE MACHINE?

- YES, ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

- THESE ARE HOT.

[laughter]

HOW CUTE ARE THOSE?

AREN'T THOSE CUTE?

I'M JUST GONNA CLOSE THIS WHILE I PREP.

- OH, SURE. GO AHEAD.

- THIS IS A GOOD LOOK FOR ME.

[laughter]

- I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A SPRAY TAN BOOTH AT MY HOUSE,

BUT THE FACT THAT SHE'S HAD THAT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM ME

AND JUST FORGOTTEN TO MENTION IT...

HMM.

- AAH!

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. STOP. STOP.

- AAH! - AAH!

- SORRY. - OH, DON'T ACT SHY NOW.

- HOLD ON. [laughter]

THE SPA GUYS ARE COMING IN.

- HE'S GOT A VERY LARGE PENIS!

- WHO?

[laughter]

I SWEAR.

WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO HERE?

- CAMILLE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, DARLING.

BEND OVER. BEND OVER.

- I'M GETTING BEAUTIFIED.

- OKAY, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

- OH, BOY.

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- I'M OKAY. I'M JUST...

- YOU'RE--YOU'RE VERY SERENE TODAY.

I KNOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN

KIND OF, LIKE, EASY GOING--

BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LATER,

I MEAN, TALK TO HER, AND...

- RIGHT. NO, I WILL.

I'LL RELAX, AND I'LL--I'LL DEFINITELY GO TALK TO HER.

I JUST DON'T WANT--

YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FEAR OF REJECTION AS WELL.

YOU DON'T WANT SOMEONE TO BE LIKE,

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

- WHEN ALL OF US GET TOGETHER, AND...

- I KNOW. - I DON'T WANT...

I MEAN, THERE'S SO MUCH...

- TENSION. - RIGHT.

- SO... - I'LL TALK TO HER.

LET ME JUST FINISH THIS UP.

YEAH, YEAH, I WILL.

- I KNOW. I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF YOU WERE OKAY,

'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SO QUIET.

- I KNOW. THANK YOU, BABE.

- ALL RIGHT, HON.

- I CAN'T EMOTIONALLY HANDLE

ALL OF THE THINGS THAT ARE GOING ON IN MY LIFE

PLUS KIM AND KYLE.

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK, CAMILLE?

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU NOW?

- OH, LET'S SEE. WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

I'M BRINGING ON A THERAPIST.

BRINGING A--A NEW THERAPIST

TO WORK SOLELY WITH MY CHILDREN.

- IS IT THAT BAD NOW?

- NOT SOMEBODY THAT'S THROUGH THE COURT SYSTEM

OR HIRED THROUGH MY EX'S ATTORNEY.

- YEAH, BECAUSE THEY COULD HAVE BEEN BIASED.

- YES. I DON'T WANT ANYBODY BIASED.

I'M BRINGING SOMEBODY

THAT'S SOLELY GONNA WORK FOR MY CHILDREN,

FOR THEIR BE--

YOU KNOW, FOR THEIR BEST INTERESTS.

IT'S JUST BEEN TOUGH.

- IS HE STILL A MESS? JUDE, YOU KNOW.

- JUDE'S GOTTEN A LOT BETTER. - OH, GOOD.

- HE'S DOING REALLY, REALLY WELL.

- OH, THAT'S GOOD.

BECAUSE HE'S IN ONE PLACE NOW? - YES.

- BECAUSE HE'S WITH YOU?

- YES. YES, HE'S BACK HOME.

HE'S HAPPY. HE'S ON PLAY DATES.

HE'S HAPPY. HE LOVES HIS SCHOOL.

HE LOVES BEING AROUND HIS SISTER.

- OH, THANK GOD.

- HE'S ACTIVE, AND HE'S...

- YEAH. - HE'S A LITTLE BOY.

- RELAX.

- I'M RELAXED AS I'M GONNA GET AROUND HERE.

- [laughs]

- RIGHT, LISA?

- I'M NOT GONNA GO BLIND FROM THIS...

[upbeat music]

- [laughs] I'M TICKLISH.

[laughs] OH, YOU BI--

[laughter]

I WAS LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS WOMAN DOING?"

OH, MY GOD.

OW, MY TOE.

- I HATE TO RUIN YOUR--

HATE TO RUIN YOUR MASSAGE,

BUT, UM, I JUST TALKED TO BRANDI.

SHE SAID HE MIGHT WANT TO TALK TO YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

- RIGHT NOW?

- NO, NOT NOW. LATER.

- THANKS FOR THE RELAXING MASSAGE.

[laughter]

- I KNOW.

- MY WHOLE BODY JUST KNOTTED UP LIKE--

TALK TO BRANDI?

COULDN'T YOU'VE HAD ME DO THAT FIRST,

AND THEN I COULD GET THE MASSAGE

TO WORK THE KNOTS OUT?

[sighs]

AND SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO KIM.

THEN WE CAN TALK.

- YEAH. I THINK THAT'S THE FIRST STEP.

- OKAY.

- I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ON A RELAXING DAY.

- HEY. - WHERE'S KIM?

- GETTING HER NAILS DONE RIGHT THERE.

- OH, OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

- OH, GOD. - THIS IS WHAT I THINK.

NO, NO, NO, COME ON. COME HERE.

IT'S OKAY. COME HERE.

I THINK THE ONLY THING THAT I THINK YOU SHOULD DO,

BECAUSE KIM'S KIND OF AVOIDING YOU,

IS APOLOGIZE FOR JUST SAYING THE THING ABOUT THE...

THE DRUGS.

- BUT SHE INSULTED ME FIRST,

AND I FEEL LIKE WHY AM I TAKING ALL THE BLAME

WHEN THEY DID IT TOO?

- NO, NO, NO, I--I KNOW,

BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS,

IT'S SUCH A HARSH STATEMENT...

- RIGHT. - ...TO MAKE.

- HAVE YOU TALKED TO BRANDI?

- I TOLD YOU I HAVE NO INTENTION OF ACKNOWLEDGING.

I'M NOT GONNA FEED A PIRANHA.

- A WHAT? - A PIRANHA.

- OH. - YOU GAVE ME THE WORD.

- A PIRANHA.

YOU KNOW WHAT? HONESTLY I DON'T--

YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T LIKE CONFLICT.

- YEAH.

- AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I EVEN LET THIS PERSON IN

WITH--TALKS... TALKS FULLY...

DOESN'T--I MEAN, JUST--

JUST GOES TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE

AND TALKS THIS WAY AND ACTS THIS WAY.

AND I--DRAG-- ACTUALLY DRAG ME--

LIKE, LET MY-- - INTO IT. YEAH.

- AND I DON'T GO THERE. YOU KNOW I DON'T.

- YEAH, YEAH. NO, I KNOW YOU DON'T.

- SO I'M HONESTLY--

I JUST DECIDED I'M NOT GONNA EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE.

IT'S NOT--IT'S NOT WORTH ME GETTING UPSET.

- DO YOU THINK SHE SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO YOU?

- WELL, IT FIRST STARTED WITH--

DEFINITELY, SHE WENT AFTER BOTH OF US.

SHE STARTED WITH KYLE, AND I... - SHE WAS MORE RUDE TO YOU.

I DON'T--SOMEONE WANTS TO CALL ME A BITCH,

I DON'T CARE, BUT THAT WAS RUDE WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU.

- MAYBE JUST BE THE BIGGER PERSON.

SAY, "LISTEN, I'M SORRY I ACCUSED YOU OF THIS."

- I DON'T THINK ADRIENNE

HAD ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,

AND I THINK SHE JUST WAS REALLY TRYING TO KEEP THE PEACE.

- WELL, I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO

WITH WHAT SHE CALLED ME.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU...

IN--SHOOT IT, SMOKE IT? SNORT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THE STUFF ANYWAY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THE STUFF.

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. - I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST THINK THAT IT GOES MORE THAN ONE WAY.

IT GOES BOTH WAYS, AND, I MEAN, I HAVE A TRIGGER,

WHICH IS MY CHILDREN, OBVIOUSLY MY SON,

AND SHE--KYLE HAS A TRIGGER, WHICH IS HER SISTER,

AND THEN I JUST FELT REALLY GANGED UP ON.

NOW--NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GO CRAWLING BACK AND SAY SORRY.

AND IT--I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE FRICTION,

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR.

IT'S JUST--IT'S NOT FAIR.

- I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.

I DON'T WANT ANY...

- SHE SAID THAT SHE HEARD YOU SAY,

"I DON'T LIKE HER. I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."

- YOU KNOW WHAT? - OH, BIG DEAL.

"I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM."

SO EVERY ONE OF US WOULD SAY THAT.

- IF I SAID ANYTHING, IT WAS PROBABLY, LIKE,

"I DON'T--I DON'T LIKE--

I LOVE--I WANT CAMILLE. I--'CAUSE I LOVE CAMILLE."

IT WASN'T, "I DON'T LIKE HER."

- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

- BECAUSE, I MEAN, IT'S SO RIDICULOUS.

- I MEAN, SHE SAID, "I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."

I'M SITTING RIGHT THERE. THAT WAS HARD.

AND THEN THEY-- THEY, YOU KNOW,

ATTACKED MY CHILD. KYLE DID.

I--THAT'S NOT OKAY WITH ME.

- SHE DOES HAVE TWO SONS,

WHO, BY THE WAY, PEED ON THE GRASS,

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.

- DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BABIES!

I JUST FEEL LIKE IT MIGHT BE BETTER

TO SPEAK TO KYLE, JUST BECAUSE--

THAN KIM, TO BE-- IN MY--

JUST BECAUSE I MET KIM FOR TWO SECONDS THAT NIGHT.

I DON'T--I'VE NEVER HAD A CONVERSATION WITH KIM.

EXCEPT FOR THE ARGUMENT.

I JUST--I JUST DON'T WANT IT TO GET OUT OF HAND AGAIN.

I HAVE--I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT TODAY.

I, FIRST OF ALL, DON'T THINK KIM KNOWS WHAT WENT DOWN.

I DON'T THINK THAT SHE'S READY TO HAVE A DISCUSSION

ABOUT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH DRUGS,

OR BEING OBVIOUSLY INEBRIATED THAT NIGHT.

SHE CLEARLY HAS A PROBLEM,

AND YOU CAN'T FIGHT WITH CRAZY,

SO I'M NOT GOING THERE.

- KYLE, CAN SHE TALK TO YOU GUYS?

- KIM, YOU ACCEPT THE APOLOGY.

SHE WAS THE MOST RUDE...

- I DON'T WANT--

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER.

- I ASKED HER TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.

- I DON'T WANT IT.

- BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STRONG, BUT...

- THANK YOU, BUT...

- KYLE. - WHAT?

- SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU AS WELL.

- OH, MY GOD. - NO.

- PLEASE.

- I'VE HAD TOO MUCH CAFFEINE FOR THIS TODAY.

I WILL. I WILL.

- PLEASE. IN A MINUTE. WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.

I'M JUST LETTING HER SAY WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY.

- JUST LET HER...

- YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO HER?

- I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO HER.

IT'S THE RUDEST THING I'VE EVER--EVER...

- I TOLD-- I TOLD HER SHE HAS...

- OKAY, I WILL-- I WILL TALK TO HER.

- OH, ABSOLUTELY.

- BUT SHE'S WILLING TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.

BUT IF YOU ARE NOT READY, THEN...

- I'M NOT SAYING I'M ACCEPTING.

I MEAN, I'M JUST-- I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE--

GIVING HER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT TO EXPLAIN HERSELF, OR...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO EXPLAIN.

WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN?

- I UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO...

BE THE TARGET.

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AND SAY THINGS

WE SHOULDN'T SAY ONCE IN A WHILE.

BRANDI DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.

- YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE TO TALK TO HER?

- YOU'RE JUST GONNA TALK. JUST...

- SO YOU'RE GONNA GO OUT AND LET HER APOLOGIZE TO YOU?

- I'M GONNA LET HER SAY...

I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, KYLE? NOT COOL.

WHAT A TRAITOR.

I'M SORRY. I DEFENDED YOU.

I BASICALLY GOT TORN TO SHREDS BY THIS GIRL,

AND THEN YOU WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER?

IT'S UPSETTING TO ME.

AND THE THING IS, SHE'S NOT WORTH IT TO ME.

- THEN DON'T--THEN DON'T-- THEN THAT'S FINE.

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS PERSON.

YOU GUYS, I LOVE.

AND IF ONE OF YOU HAD SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

IT WOULD HURT MY FEELINGS.

- WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. WE WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

NO, NO, STOP. I CAN SEE SHE'S GETTING UPSET.

DON'T BE UPSET. DON'T BE UPSET.

- DON'T EVEN LIKE PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEM.

- LET'S JUST RELAX AND NOT EVEN...

- I'M NOT SAYING

I'M GOING TO ACCEPT AN APOLOGY ON YOUR BEHALF.

I'M JUST GONNA HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY TO ME.

- BUT THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS. I ONLY WAS DEFENDING YOU.

- THIS IS JUST A STRESS THAT I DON'T NEED.

- I KNOW.

BUT, I MEAN, SOMETIMES PEACE IS WORTH A LOT, SO...

- BUT I FEEL LIKE WHEN I SPEAK TO CAMILLE,

SHE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE.

LIKE, SHE'S JUST SO CAREFUL, AND I GET IT.

- HMM.

- [sighs] YI-YI-YI.

I SHOULD JUST HIGH-TAIL IT OUT OF HERE.

I SHOULD GO, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SAY SORRY ANYWAY.

[laughs]

- HI. - HELLO.

- COMING UP...

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.

ESPECIALLY MAKING AN ACCUSATION LIKE THAT.

- HI. - HELLO.

- I THINK I NEED A GLASS OF WINE.

- YOU WANNA SIT AND ME STAND?

- UH, I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY. - JUST A LITTLE--

- OKAY.

UM...

- I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA SAY.

"WE GOT STARTED OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT," BLAH BLAH, WAH WAH.

- I JUST--THIS IS KILLING ME.

LIKE, ALL OF THE DRAMA THAT WENT ON THE OTHER NIGHT.

I...YOU KNOW, I LOST IT.

OBVIOUSLY. I THINK YOU GUYS LOST IT AS WELL.

I THINK IT WAS JUST... MY TRIGGER IS MY KID.

LIKE, IF ANY--OR MY PARENT--IF ANYTHING WITH MY CHILDREN...

LIKE, I LOSE MY MIND, AND I DID.

I LOST IT.

AND YOUR TRIGGER'S OBVIOUSLY YOUR SISTER.

AND IT...WENT BAD, AND IT WENT BAD QUICKLY,

AND I JUST FELT, LIKE, ALONE AND GANGED UP ON.

AND I SAID THINGS I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.

AND I DON'T WANNA-- I DON'T WANNA HAVE IT, LIKE,

WHENEVER I SEE YOU, NOT BE ABLE TO SAY HELLO.

I JUST THINK THAT, I DON'T--WE DON'T NEED TO BE BEST FRIENDS.

BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE LIKE HIGH SCHOOL

WHERE WE HATE EACH OTHER.

- I DON'T HATE ANYBODY, JUST SO YOU KNOW.

AND I GET THAT YOUR KIDS ARE YOUR TRIGGER POINT,

BUT YOU STARTED THAT BEFORE YOU TALKED ABOUT THE KIDS.

- WHAT?

- YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, STARTED IN WITH, YOU KNOW, ABOUT MY SISTER.

THAT'S A VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATION TO MAKE ABOUT SOMEBODY.

TO SAY SOMETHING--I DON'T EVEN--WHATEVER THAT STUFF IS.

CRYSTAL MUD--MENTHOL--WHAT IS IT? METHADONE? I DON'T KNOW--

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, BUT THAT DIDN'T--THAT WASN'T BEFORE.

- OKAY, WHEN YOU SAID YOU'D BEEN IN THE BATHROOM ALL NIGHT...

- THAT'S NOT--THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT HAD ALREADY STARTED.

- YEAH, BUT YOU THREW THAT JAB ABOUT MY SISTER.

SO THAT'S WHEN I--

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THAT'S MY SISTER, YOU CAN'T--

- SO THAT'S HER SIS-- WHAT--WHAT--LISTEN.

- AND I WASN'T ATTACKING YOUR CHILDREN, BY THE WAY.

AS YOU KNOW, I SAID-- - THINK ABOUT THIS.

- BUT YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT MY CHILDREN AT ALL.

I WOULD NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN.

- I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL. I SAID THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL-- - CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

CAN I SAY SOMETHING? HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

- I JUST SAID YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST MAYBE CORRECT THEM.

- WHAT DID I TELL YOU BEFORE?

- MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT TO YOU.

BUT YOU SAID A LOT OF THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID,

LIKE YOU SAID, AND I ALSO DID. - I AGREE.

- LISTEN, BRANDI, SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO ATTACK YOUR CHILD.

SHE WAS JUST SUGGESTING SOMETHING--

- IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE CHILD EVER.

THE CHILD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

- AND I TOLD YOU. IT'S...WAS NOT ABOUT YOUR CHILD.

IT'S ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE PROPER THING TO DO

IF YOUR CHILD IS DOING THAT.

AND I WOULD-- TRUST ME, I HAVE BOYS.

AND I THINK THAT'S WHERE SHE WAS GOING WITH IT.

AND MAYBE YOU TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY.

THAT'S--THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT HER INTENTIONS WERE.

- ANYWAY I-I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT AND...

YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU SAID,

WE BOTH SAID THINGS THAT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE.

BUT JUST DON'T EVER--YOU SAID DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS,

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER.

ESPECIALLY MAKING ACCUSATIONS LIKE THAT.

- OKAY, SO CAN WE MAKE A DEAL?

YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT MY KIDS AND I--

- I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOUR KIDS.

- OR LET'S JUST NOT EVEN-- NOT--NOT RIGHT NOW.

- I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HANDLED IT, NOT YOUR KIDS.

- THAT'S MY PARENTING.

I'M NOT GONNA EVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PARENTING.

I MEAN, I'M A SINGLE MOM. NONE OF YOU GUYS ARE.

SO YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I GO THROUGH.

- I HAVE BEEN. I HAVE BEEN A SINGLE MOM.

- OKAY, BUT MY SITUATION'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

- I DON'T KNOW YOUR SITUATION AND I SYMPATHIZE--

- BEING A PARENT IN GENERAL IS VERY DIFFICULT.

- IS DIFFICULT, EXACTLY.

AND I'M NOT CHALLENGING YOUR, UM, BEING A PARENT.

I'M SURE YOU'RE A WONDERFUL MOM.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.

AND, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, THINGS WERE HEATED.

AND WE SAID THINGS WE DIDN'T MEAN, SO...

MOVING ON. MAYBE YOU COULD APOLOGIZE TO MY SISTER.

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!

I MEAN, LITERALLY, I MET HER THAT NIGHT,

LIKE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE.

- IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT TO APOLOGIZE.

- SHE WANTS TO. - OKAY, WELL, THEN.

SEE IF KIM WILL ACCEPT IT. I MEAN, THAT'S A LOW BLOW.

- I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S-- YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND.

SHE SAT THERE AND SHE GOES, "I DON'T LIKE BRANDI."

I'D NEVER MET HER BEFORE.

- I DON'T WANT HER ON MY TEAM.

- [laughs]

- I JUST DON'T THINK PEOPLE SAY THAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

AND THEN IT GOT--

- SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE ON YOUR TEAM.

- SHE WANTED CAMILLE, AND SHE WAS KIND OF JOKING LIKE THAT.

THAT WAS RUDE WHEN SHE SAID THAT, I-I-I ADMIT.

- ALL RIGHT, JUST TO HAVE THAT SAID, IT WASN'T COMFORTABLE.

- I GET THAT, I GET THAT.

- WELL, THEN APOLOGIZE TO KIM AND THEN SORT IT OUT.

- I JUST--I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.

I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN DO THAT TODAY.

- EXACTLY, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SAYING,

YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT HER

WHEN YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER.

- IT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT.

- WE DON'T NEED TO KEEP GOING BACK OVER AND OVER THAT AGAIN.

SO...IT'S...LET'S JUST MOVE ON.

LET'S JUST MOVE ON.

OKAY?

OKAY. - ALL RIGHTY THEN.

- I CAN'T WIN.

I-I CAN'T WIN. EVEN THOUGH I'M SITTING HERE SAYING SORRY,

SHE'S STILL KIND OF ATTACKING ME,

WHEN I FELT LIKE I WASN'T A HUNDRED PERCENT WRONG.

- SHE'S CRYING.

- I DON'T CARE. I DON'T EVEN WANNA--

- OH, MY GOD, KIM. - SHE'S AN ACTRESS, I THINK.

SHE JUST WANTS TO BE.

DID YOU SEE HOW SHE WENT FROM BEING NASTY

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN-- [fake crying]

"MY BABIES." - [laughs]

WELL, SHE MIGHT COME APOLOGIZE TO YOU, SO BE PREPARED.

NOW HOW'S THAT MASSAGE FEELING? [laughs]

YOU FEEL RELAXED?

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, THEN, ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS

SHE'LL END UP WITH TWO BROKEN LEGS.

- [laughs] OH, MY GOD.

YOU WANNA SWIM WITH THE FISHES?

YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG GIRLS?

- THANK YOU, HONEY, FOR DOING THAT. THAT--THAT WAS--

- YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG GIRLS?

GO AHEAD.

[laughter]

- OH, MY LORD.

I WANTED TO TRY TO BE THE PEACEKEEPER.

BUT ULTIMATELY IT'S UP TO THEM TO TRY TO--TO WORK IT OUT.

- WELL, I THINK THAT YOU AND KYLE WERE ABLE TO RESOLVE

THAT YOU EACH HAD A PART IN--IN SAYING THINGS YOU DIDN'T MEAN.

- I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M--I'M THE ONE.

EVERYONE'S SAYING IT'S MY FAULT.

AND I JUST... [sighs]

IT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY

FOR THEM TO BE THAT WAY TO ME,

JUST BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING WRONG, TOO.

- WELL...

I-I MEAN, I DO THINK, AT SOME POINT,

YOU'VE GOTTA SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CRYSTAL METH THING.

'CAUSE THAT WAS, LIKE... REALLY OVER THE TOP.

- WAS IT?

I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN...

I'M GONNA GO. I HAVE PLANS TONIGHT.

I NEED TO DO THINGS.

- OKAY.

- I DON'T PLAN ON BRINGING KIM UP TO KYLE

OR ANY OF THE GIRLS AGAIN.

BECAUSE...THERE'S NO POINT.

IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE.

I...I'M WASHING MY HANDS OF THAT WHOLE SITUATION.

IT'S REALLY HARD 'CAUSE NO ONE SEEMS TO HAVE MY SIDE.

NO ONE HAS MY BACK, NO ONE'S SAYING--

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT THE CASE.

- OH, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU DIDN'T--

NO ONE IS ON MY SIDE. AND I-I DEFINITELY HAVE

A VALID POINT OF THE WAY I WAS TREATED THAT NIGHT.

IT WAS NOT GOOD.

AND I-I LOST IT, I LOST IT.

AND I WAS WRONG, BUT I DON'T...

- IT'S ALL RIGHT.

LISTEN, THE PROBLEM IS,

IS YOU HAVE TO SEE BOTH SIDES.

YOU KNOW? THAT'S-- - YEAH, I KNOW.

- THERE'S YOUR STORY, THERE'S HER STORY,

AND THERE'S THE TRUTH.

- RIGHT.

- SO MAYBE IT'S TOO SOON FOR YOU, MAYBE IT'S SOON FOR HER.

BUT...ANYWAY. - WELL, IT WORKS BETTER.

- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, OKAY. - THANKS.

- SO...BUT YOU LOOK GOOD.

- WELL, THANKS. THANKS.

- ALL RIGHT, HONEY, SO I'LL TALK, WE'LL TALK, AND...OKAY?

- YEAH, I'LL TEXT YOU. - ALL RIGHT, BYE.

- COMING UP:

- DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.

[laughs]

- WHOO! COME IN, GIRLS.

COME INTO THE BABY POOL.

YOU KNOW, GIRLS BECOME WOMEN.

AND WOMEN ARE SOMETIMES DIFFICULT.

AND IT COMES WITH ALL THEIR DRAMA.

SO HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM NOW

IS SOMETHING THAT I REALLY ENJOY.

- I'M A MERMAID!

- ARE YOU A MERMAID?

- YEAH. - SHOW ME.

- I'M A MERMAID.

- YOU LOOK LIKE A MERMAID.

HERE I COME.

SPENDING TIME WITH THE FAMILY AND FAMILY TIME,

I THINK IS SO IMPORTANT.

UH, HOPEFULLY THE TIME THAT WE SPEND WITH THEM NOW

WILL HELP OFFSET, YOU KNOW, SOME CRANKY TEENAGERS

IN THE--LATER DOWN THE ROAD.

- [laughs]

- GAHHH!

- AHH, YOU HURT MY EYES.

- I'M SORRY.

- WATER EYES. - [laughs]

- HOW WAS IT, KIM?

- LIKE, REALLY GOOD.

- HOW CAN YOU STAY RELAXED?

- I TOLD YOU.

I DON'T LET PEOPLE THAT DON'T MATTER BOTHER ME.

- YOU WERE SHAKING AND CRYING AT ONE...

- BECAUSE I WAS THINKING, IF ONE OF YOU HAD DONE IT,

I WOULD WANT AN APOLOGY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS.

YOU GUYS ALL MATTER TO ME.

AND THAT'S WHEN I STARTED TO CRY.

BUT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MATTER TO ME, THAT'S LIKE A SORE

OR A THING THAT NEEDS TO BE CUT OFF THE BODY,

THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

THEY DON'T-- THEY DON'T BOTHER ME.

BUT I GOT UPSET WHEN I LOOKED AT ALL OF YOU GUYS.

IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME.

- YOU WERE GETTING MAD AT ME FOR GOING OUT

TO EVEN HEAR WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY.

- [chuckles] I-I'M DISAPPOINTED.

- WELL, IT WASN'T ABOUT BRANDI, KIM,

IT WAS ABOUT ADRIENNE.

SHE WAS ASKING ME.

- BUT SHE HAD TO GO OUT. ADRIENNE--

- NO, SHE DIDN'T. - OF COURSE SHE DID.

SHE COULDN'T TELL HER TO BUGGER OFF.

- I WAS PROTECTING YOU.

- I--AND I WAS PROTECTING YOU, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

- AND THEN SHE WENT AFTER ME IN THAT HORRIBLE WAY.

- WASN'T LIKE WE WERE TOTALLY INNOCENT THAT NIGHT.

LET'S BE HONEST.

- WHA--SHE--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- I'M JUST SAYING, IT WASN'T LIKE WE WERE, LIKE,

SITTING THERE LIKE TWO LITTLE ANGELS.

WE FOUGHT BACK.

- I WAS ON THE RECEIVING END OF

KYLE'S SLINGS AND ARROWS LAST YEAR,

SO I COULD EMPATHIZE WITH BRANDI.

- WELL, THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHING OFF.

NOBODY JUST FLIES OFF THE HANDLE LIKE THAT.

FOR NO REASON.

- I COULD TELL YOU WHAT HER PROBLEM IS.

SHE HAS NO FILTER.

SHE JUST SAYS WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY.

AND THEN SHE THINKS ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS, LIKE,

"I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT."

- YOU KNOW WHAT, ADRIENNE? THAT JUST WON'T WORK WITH ME.

- THAT'S THE WAY SHE IS, THAT'S HER PERSONALITY.

- SO SOMEBODY SAYS--THE FIRST THING SHE SAID WAS

"BRING IT ON, BITCH." IS THAT WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU?

- I THINK EVERYTHING'S A BLUR.

- SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL. - SHE'S A TOUGH GIRL.

- SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT OUT THERE, THE BIG TEARS AND EVERYTHING.

I'M CONFUSED, I'M CONFUSED.

- BIG TEARS?

[fake sniffling] THAT'S AN ACT.

- KIM AND KYLE WERE MEAN TO ME.

I KNOW I'M A GOOD PERSON.

AND IF THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SIDE OF ME,

THEN THEY CAN [bleep] OFF.

- - NOBODY LOOKS AND JUST-- "BRING IT ON, B-I-T-C-H."

YOU DON'T JUST LOOK, LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN--

AND SUDDENLY...AND JUST...AND THEN TO GO AFTER ME AFTERWARDS.

- NO, NO.

WHY? THAT'S EXACTLY WHY--

THAT'S EXACTLY WHY--HELLO.

[overlapping chatter, laughter]

- I WANT TO MOVE ON...

WITHOUT BRANDI. [laughs]

- DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.

[laughs] SORRY, BUT YOU KNOW...

- NEXT ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS:

- HAPPY ENGAGEMENT, DARLING.

- OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SUCH AN EXCITING NIGHT.

- A SMALL PARTY.

- OH, GOD, YOU'RE NOT-- OH, NO!

[cheering]

- SO DID YOU READ THE BIG STORY TODAY?

THEY LINK IT TO LISA.

WE'LL JUST SERVE THEM WITH A LAWSUIT.

- THIS IS VERY AWKWARD.

AM I NEXT?

- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE FINDING OUT

ABOUT US?

WE WERE PRETTY GOOD ABOUT KEEPING THAT A SECRET,

HAVEN'T WE?

- YOU HAVEN'T MET MY SISTERS YET.

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.