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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,559
Hellocom keeping you connected,
Donna speaking.
2
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:11,960
Right, is it mobile or broadband
or television?
3
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,359
We are Hellocom.
4
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,999
MAN LAUGHS
What seems to be the trouble?
5
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,079
It's good!
6
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,360
ENGAGED TONE
Right.
7
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,439
Of course I can.
Let me check that for you.
8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,999
Won't take a second.
9
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,119
Honestly, it's no problem.
10
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,599
ENGAGED TONE,
SHE CHUCKLES
11
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,759
Hey! I knew it.
She's sitting on a hanger.
12
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,159
Boom! You got caught
sitting on a hanger! Busted!
13
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,199
I wasn't. He was right there.
And you just cut him off.
14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,079
Face it, Ruby, you were skiving
and you got caught. End of.
15
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,479
Prove it. You've got nothing on me.
16
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,639
Oh, please!
I've got a whole ring binder on you,
17
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,959
and not even one of the narrow ones,
it's the big one.
18
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,359
Really?
19
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,559
It's not a compliment, Ruby!
20
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:53,719
And put your phone away.
21
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,199
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
It's on silent, sir.
22
00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,759
RINGING TONE
Ruby! Shit!
23
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,839
OK, OK, I'm doing it now.
RINGING CONTINUES
24
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,599
Oh, piss off!
25
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,039
I can't believe you got busted.
26
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,959
You're such a dickhead.
27
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,079
Oh, shut up, Tom.
28
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,880
Oh! Take the hint, Matt.
29
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,920
♪ Dip, baby, dip
Dip, baby, dip
30
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,079
♪ Dip, baby, dip
31
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,999
♪ If you can't shake, then
If you can't shake, then
32
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:27,519
♪ Dip, baby, dip
If you can't shake, if you can't
33
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,879
♪ If you can't shake
Uh-uh. ♪
34
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:34,400
HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARES
35
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,319
OK. I need intel.
Who was that?
36
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,399
Who was who?
The man.
37
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,519
Literally the man
that just walked up the stairs.
38
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,839
Blue coat, sparkly eyes,
the promise of future happiness.
39
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,359
Oh, I can't tell you that.
Security guards' confidentiality.
40
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,239
Sorry, that's not thing, and
I would know because I'm training...
41
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,199
..to be a lawyer.
Yes, we know, bruv.
42
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,359
You should know all about the
Data Protection Act, then, innit?
43
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,040
Fine.
44
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,239
I guess I'll just have to steal
the big book.
45
00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,639
Out of order. You cannot be
taking liberties like that!
46
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,759
Min Jun. New recruit
working at Western Windows.
47
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,559
Cameron, give it back! Seriously.
48
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,799
We'll be getting the bus together
every day.
49
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,919
We'll be working in the same
building together every day.
50
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,200
Shit.
51
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,199
Well, well.
Who is this young hipster
52
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,639
with her funky Norwegian backpack?
53
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,159
It's me, Melons.
I know it's you, Melons,
54
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,519
I was sort of pointing out
your cool bag.
55
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,679
I got it for my birthday.
Ooh! Which is when, please, madam?
56
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,359
Now. Today.
57
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,440
No way!
58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,479
We need to celebrate. Let's go
to The Old Duke on King Street.
59
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,400
Oh, I can't, I'm busy.
60
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,599
Out with your mates, is it?
61
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,999
No, choir practice with you.
62
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,039
Screw that,
you need to hit the town.
63
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,919
I don't want to hit the town.
RUBY SCOFFS
64
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,359
Fair enough.
65
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,239
Your choice.
Well, we've got to do something.
66
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,959
Well, there is one thing
I'd quite like to do. Go on.
67
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,639
Go to choir practice.
68
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,079
Ach! Seriously?
69
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,279
Well, that doesn't mean
we can't celebrate. Donna!
70
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,559
Donna!
71
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,439
It's Mel's birthday, innit?
72
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,959
Er, no.
73
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,359
No, no, hang on.
74
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,679
Sorry, babes, according to Facebook,
your birthday is not till next week.
75
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,479
I put the wrong date on Facebook.
Why?
76
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,359
Well, my ma says that
posting your date of birth online
77
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,279
is like leaving your front door open
with your car keys on the hall table
78
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,639
and a sign in the window that says,
79
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,359
"I keep my passport
in my knicker drawer."
80
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,279
Oh, and, Tom, don't have
your password as your pet's name.
81
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,399
It's not.
Followed by your date of birth.
82
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,399
Shit. How did she know that?
83
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,519
Oh, here he is,
Marko the Muscles, eh?
84
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,799
Where do you want these?
85
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,399
Just pop 'em down there.
86
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,719
SHE CLEARS THROAT
87
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,199
Erm, listen up, chickens.
88
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,799
Head office are rolling out
the new Friends And Family campaign,
89
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,399
and they've got you
a little something.
90
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,760
Show 'em, Marko.
91
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,599
Erm, has Mark shrunk,
or is that mug too big?
92
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,959
THEY LAUGH
93
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,039
It's family-sized! Get it?
94
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,079
Ha!
95
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,159
Oh, well,
I'll be taking mine home tonight
96
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,679
and putting a four-pack of gin in it
97
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,559
cos I've got
a Zoom parents' evening.
98
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,080
Do you know I'm saying, ladies?
99
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,639
Basically, today we need you
to push hard
100
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,759
on the Friends And Family numbers,
OK?
101
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,039
So whatever people call in for,
102
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,119
make sure we get their F&F lists
updated, all right?
103
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,439
Yeah. That's right.
104
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,079
And, erm, as a special treat,
you can update your own lists
105
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,239
and get 7% off those calls.
106
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,279
Whoo!
Yes, that's right!
107
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,479
How many names are we allowed?
Ten of your closest F&Fs, babes.
108
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,559
Only ten? That's gonna be tricky.
109
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,879
Hey, Ruby, you wanna borrow
some of mine?
110
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,359
Oh, now, then,
let's get back to work, chickens,
111
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,839
cos if you lot don't sell-sell-sell,
112
00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:43,799
head office are gonna think
I'm a right mug.
113
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,560
I'm not high-fiving that.
OK. Fair enough, Donna.
114
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,800
MOBILE BUZZES
115
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,119
Ooh, go away. Ach...
116
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,599
Thanks for waiting. I've just
had a little look at the system,
117
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,359
and that shouldn't be a problem
at all.
118
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,919
Big news.
119
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,439
Bloody love big news.
120
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,679
My commute crush is in the building
as we speak.
121
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,639
Ooh! Bus boy or a train man?
Oh, no, bus boy.
122
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,879
Yuppie's working upstairs
in Western Windows,
123
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,079
so, you know, everything's ruined.
124
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,919
Cameron, you've been
smiling at each other for months.
125
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,199
Just speak to him.
126
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,559
I can't.
127
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,039
If you don't, I will.
128
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,279
You wouldn't dare.
129
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,639
You reckon?
130
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,159
You'd better hope
bus boy ain't a pansexual, baby.
131
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,920
Can I put you back on hold?
Two seconds.
132
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,000
What?
133
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,560
SHE CHUCKLES
What?
134
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,999
Tom, you have my attention.
135
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,159
What do you want?
136
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,639
Do you fancy a brew?
137
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,919
Oh, I do, actually.
138
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,959
Here, are we using these?
139
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,119
HE GIGGLES
No. Absolutely not.
140
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,319
Anyone else?
141
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,679
I'll have one.
Yeah, me, please.
142
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,599
Me too, milk and two sugars,
thanks, Ruby!
143
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,319
Actually, I would like one.
144
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,599
I'll have a loose-leaf Assam,
thanks, Ruby.
145
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,759
Hang on a second, you just asked me
if I wanted one.
146
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,079
Sorry, I'm on a call.
147
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,359
Hello, Hellocom, Tom speaking.
148
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,480
How can I massively optimise
your day today, madam?
149
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,839
Piss-taker.
150
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,879
Donna, I've got a birthday card
for Mel.
151
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,600
Chip in for a gift.
Whatever you can manage.
152
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,919
Donna.
153
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,560
That's a button.
154
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,599
Don't really know Melons.
155
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,760
What, so you thought, "I'll just
give her a button instead"?
156
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,440
Does sound churlish
when you put it like that.
157
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,360
Thanks.
158
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,920
Hey, babe.
Oh, my... Mark!
159
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,719
This is getting a lot, Mark.
What is?
160
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,119
Mark, if I cannot text a friend,
161
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,159
who just happens to be
a really fit guy, without you...
162
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,039
You're quite literally...
you're spying on me.
163
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,439
...then I think we need to talk.
164
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,879
I was just asking
everyone to sign Mel's card.
165
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,160
Yeah, OK.
166
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,280
This, Mark, this is a lot.
167
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,600
I can't believe
you're making me do this.
168
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,039
Which one is he, then?
169
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,320
Back table on the left, blue shirt,
mesmerising brown eyes.
170
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,520
Are you checking
L on your hand for left?
171
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,800
I am, and I will not be judged.
Too late.
172
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,720
Subtle!
173
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,880
He's hot.
Mm-hm.
174
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,159
He's looking at you.
What?
175
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,959
He's really looking at you,
give him a wave.
176
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,719
No, I'm not waving.
I will. All right, mate?
177
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,119
Stop, stop moving.
178
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,519
Why?
179
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:51,919
A hot bloke, he's really into you,
you're clearly really into him.
180
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,519
♪ I don't see what the problem is. ♪
181
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,319
Because, Ruby,
it'll ruin everything.
182
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,799
Our whole morning routine of,
"Smile, don't smile, look up.
183
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,879
"Oh, God, he's looking up,
look away."
184
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,319
That has got me up and out of bed
every morning
185
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,839
for the last six months.
186
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,119
Yes, and now it could get you
into bed, Cameron.
187
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,839
What if he's not as great
as I imagine?
188
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,159
What if he has a voice
like David Beckham?
189
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,119
Urgh, horrific. Yeah.
MOBILE BUZZES
190
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,319
Awful.
191
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:21,839
Well, you could pick your phone up
and find out.
192
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,039
What?
193
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,519
BUZZING CONTINUES
194
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,759
Why would he have my number?
195
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,680
I haven't the foggiest.
196
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,239
Ruby!
197
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,679
Pick up the phone
and ask him for a drink after work.
198
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,600
BUZZING CONTINUES
199
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,999
BUZZING STOPS
200
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,880
Hi. Hi.
201
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,800
Really good voice.
202
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,960
Mm-hm, great.
203
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,079
Donna.
Yup?
204
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,199
HE MOUTHS
205
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,319
BEEPING
206
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,999
Good afternoon. Hellocom keeping you
connected, Ruby speaking.
207
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,639
It's Clinton. Can you hear me?
208
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,999
Loud and clear, Clinton.
209
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,039
There's something wrong
with the phone line.
210
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,960
OK, let me check it for you.
211
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,080
Oh, I'm not here,
just ignore me.
212
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,639
Right, erm, do you mind if I just
put you on hold for a second?
213
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,039
'OK.'
RUBY CLEARS THROAT
214
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,639
Hi, er, is there something
you need, Vicki?
215
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:26,519
Just seeing how you're getting on
with the Friends And Family stuff.
216
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,559
Right, erm, only, can we do it
on another call?
217
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:30,999
Ooh, there's an idea.
218
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,599
No, we can't.
219
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,919
Look, I don't want to do this
for Clinton, his wife just died.
220
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,919
Oh, no, that is so sad.
221
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,599
But it doesn't change nothing.
222
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,840
Friends And Family. Good girl.
223
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,319
Erm, why do you think
there's an issue with your line?
224
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,359
VICKI TUTS
225
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,079
My daughter hasn't called in weeks.
226
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,919
Friends And Family!
227
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,159
RUBY SIGHS
228
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,599
Maybe we could add her
to your Friends And Family list,
229
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,599
and that way, you'll get a fabulous
7% discount on your calls. Yeah!
230
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,639
OK.
231
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:08,599
Yes! Yes, you did it and it just
wasn't that hard, was it, Rubes?
232
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,720
Grr!
233
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,439
Great, and, er, let me
get our technical department
234
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,399
to take a look at the issue
on the line.
235
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,040
'Thanks, Ruby. She definitely
wouldn't have left it that long.'
236
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,280
LINE CLICKS
Bye.
237
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,559
And that's all
up and running again.
238
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,640
And is that for both boxes,
or just the one?
239
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,119
Ionie... why haven't you
called your dad, then?
240
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,440
RINGING TONE
241
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,999
Yes?
Is that Ionie Barker?
242
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,399
Who is this?
243
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,919
I'm calling from Hellocom
244
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,359
to see if you might be interested
in our Friends And Family.
245
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,279
I have that.
Right.
246
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,959
Did you know that numbers
could fall off the list
247
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,319
if you don't use them enough?
248
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,999
I don't have time for this now.
249
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,799
I could swap the number
listed as "Dad"
250
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:11,439
for one of your more regular calls
like, hm, "Pepe's Pizzeria".
251
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,919
You call them loads.
No, of course not.
252
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,999
Only, you haven't called your dad
for three weeks, so you really...
253
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,400
IONIE HANGS UP
Shit!
254
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,039
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, you don't.
No, you don't miss the tea.
255
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,679
Ah, hey-hey!
You do this every time.
256
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:31,199
You suggest tea, and then you have
someone else make it for you.
257
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,199
Bollocks, do I. No, you do.
All the time actually.
258
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,000
So from now on, you're gonna make
everyone tea. Make me.
259
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,879
Argh!
Right, I will.
260
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,159
Ha-ha!
261
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,759
TOM LAUGHS
262
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,759
What you doin', you daft bint?!
263
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,959
Hey! Someone, quick!
264
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,999
RUBY LAUGHS
I've been kidnapped!
265
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,800
Argh! Ha-ha!
266
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,719
There, and you're not coming out
until you've made us all tea.
267
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,959
Ooh, so I'm like a hostage,
268
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,119
and you're my sexy,
domineering prison guard.
269
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,879
Urgh! Tom, just make
the fucking tea!
270
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,959
Where do you want to slap me?
To-o-om!
271
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,519
All right, I'm going.
272
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,679
SHE SIGHS
Where's this kettle?
273
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,040
Have a chill.
274
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,879
PASS BLEEPS
Er, your birthday, is it?
275
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,319
Yeah.
I got you these, innit.
276
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,600
Thanks.
277
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,399
You could come to choir practice
tonight, if you wanted.
278
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,440
Oh, nah, I've got
badminton tonight with my mum.
279
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,839
Oh, you have to play
in doubles, see,
280
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,240
and she gets,
like, well shy and that.
281
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,759
That's nice.
282
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:46,759
Not that she's shy,
that you go with her.
283
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,319
Yeah, I've got bare badminton skills
as well now.
284
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,879
D'you know what I mean?
285
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,439
Like, like, "Hey! Whoa!"
286
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,439
And shuttlecocks and that.
287
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,480
And, like...
288
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,239
Maybe another birthday, then.
289
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,879
Like, one of them!
290
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,480
You know what I mean?
OK.
291
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,079
Mark, Mark. Mark-Mark-Mark-Mark,
292
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,039
can you call Clinton back
for me, please?
293
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,559
I thought you loved talking to him.
294
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,599
Oh, I can't face telling him there
isn't a problem with his phone line.
295
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,999
Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?
Not for him it won't be.
296
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,799
Urgh. Urgh.
297
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,479
What did you do?
298
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,759
Oh, that is it,
Tom is never making the tea again.
299
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,199
Ha-ha, gutted.
Don't you like it?
300
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,879
No, no-no-no, you made it
badly on purpose!
301
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,359
Oh. Oh, my God.
302
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,479
Argh! Damn you, Tom,
this isn't over.
303
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,559
Here you go.
304
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,399
Don't ask how I got it,
305
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,959
just know I never really enjoyed
the role of godmother anyways.
306
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,119
Get in, Donna!
You're welcome, Ruby.
307
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,879
THEY LAUGH
What's going on?
308
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,439
Ooh! If Melons can't go
to the party,
309
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,319
then the party must come to Melons!
310
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,999
So sit down and strap in,
cos we are about to unleash...
311
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,799
The birthday protocol!
312
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,479
THEY CHEER
313
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,919
'Gangnam Style'
by PSY
314
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,719
I know it's not
pints at The Old Duke,
315
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,039
but we can still have fun.
316
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,479
Why?
Cos it's your birthday.
317
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,080
I know, I told you that.
318
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,159
So...
319
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,079
are you and Min Jun getting married?
320
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,199
I'm not playing.
321
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,559
You're not really cross, are you?
Yes, I am, actually, as it happens.
322
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,599
Oh.
You went too far, Ruby.
323
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,399
I was just giving you a little nudge
in the right direction.
324
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,839
But I didn't ask you to.
325
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,799
Are you worried he's not gonna come.
Oh, just stop.
326
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,279
You should spend more time
sorting out your own life
327
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,719
instead of trying to sort out
everyone else's.
328
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,200
My life is sorted.
Yeah (!) Right.
329
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:42,599
He is here.
330
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,079
Yes, I can see that.
331
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,959
How do I look?
Gorgeous.
332
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,480
Thanks. Still cross!
Understood.
333
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,719
Hey.
Hi, how you doing?
334
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,279
Good.
Good to see you.
335
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,799
MAN LAUGHS
IN BACKGROUND
336
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:02,600
'Maneater'
by Nelly Furtado
337
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,919
RUBY CLEARS THROAT
338
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,399
Mark, do the honours.
339
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,839
Oh.
HE CLEARS THROAT
340
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,079
FEEDBACK ECHOES
Hello. Hi.
341
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:17,319
Er, so, Melons,
now, you've not been with us long,
342
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,399
but you put in a solid effort
every single day.
343
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,519
Now, you know how to make a sale,
and, er, more importantly,
344
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,440
you never just "phone" it in.
345
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,840
MAN CLEARS THROAT
346
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,879
So, from all of us
at Hellocom to you...
347
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,599
..Happy birthday!
348
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,119
CHEERING
349
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,719
'When Will I Be Famous?'
350
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,999
You might be very attractive,
351
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,159
but you are absolutely terrible
at giving speeches.
352
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,359
Aw. Thanks, do you think so?
353
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,439
You only heard the "attractive" bit,
didn't you? Yeah. Yeah, I did.
354
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,199
I don't know what to say.
355
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,599
Well, don't say anything, let's just
karaoke the shit out of it.
356
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,200
I'm not doing that, ever! OK?
357
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,599
Well, if you insist.
358
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,079
MIC FEEDBACK ECHOES
359
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,479
Mum's got a migraine.
360
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,359
I'm so pleased.
361
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:12,640
Er, not that she's got a migraine,
that you're here. Yeah, I know.
362
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,879
♪ Yes, you are
363
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,839
♪ You've read Karl Marx
And you've taught yourself to dance
364
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,479
♪ You're the best by far
365
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,399
♪ But you keep asking
The question... ♪
366
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,599
CHEERING
367
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:34,999
'Every Breath You Take'
368
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,199
Wow, you can really sing.
369
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,999
Well, there's a lot you don't know
about me, Mark. I bet.
370
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,959
Why are you wasting
your talent here?
371
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,079
Oh, it's all right here, innit?
Pays the bills, nearly.
372
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,279
Nearly.
373
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,640
But all the same,
you've got a beautiful voice, Ruby.
374
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,240
Thanks.
375
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,319
Hey, hey, how are you doing?
376
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,759
I was, I was just telling, er,
Ruby she's got a great voice.
377
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,359
Oh, that's really cool.
378
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,319
Erm, can I speak to you
for five minutes?
379
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,519
Yeah, yeah, sure.
380
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:05,800
Just...
381
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,279
Are you OK?
Yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah.
382
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,119
Erm, I get it, Mark.
383
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,799
This is you
trying to get back at me.
384
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,559
This is you
trying to make me jealous.
385
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,319
Jealous about what?
386
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,960
As if I think
that you would drop me for...
387
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,800
RUBY SLURPS DRINK
You know?
388
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,559
Enough head games, Mark, right?
389
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:26,999
You win.
390
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,479
It's really, really hot.
391
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,759
Is it?
392
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:34,120
Yeah, it really is.
So get your coat, and let's go.
393
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,720
Actually, I think
I'm gonna stay for a bit.
394
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,519
Here?
Yeah.
395
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,599
Bit weird.
396
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,759
You should stay too.
No, no-no-no.
397
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:50,159
Erm... OK, so I guess
I'll see you tomorrow.
398
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,720
OK, yeah, see you tomorrow.
OK, OK.
399
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,479
HE CHUCKLES
400
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,319
Jelly?
Yes.
401
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,079
Yes, massive jell!
402
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,160
'Young Hearts Run Free'
403
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,559
♪ What's the sense in sharing
This one and only life
404
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,199
♪ Endin' up just another
Lost and lonely wife... ♪
405
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,239
RUBY LAUGHS
406
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,559
Are you still in a funk with me?
A justified funk.
407
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,559
A justified funk,
but are you, though? Yes.
408
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,039
However, I am willing to let it go,
409
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,279
but only to fill you in
on developments.
410
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,119
Yes! I bloody love developments.
411
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:33,119
OK. Me and Min Jun,
never gonna work.
412
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,119
Oh, no, but he's so hot. Why?
413
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,639
Media studies student.
414
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,799
Urgh.
Mm.
415
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,679
In the Venn diagram of all
of our possible conversations,
416
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,679
there is nothing.
417
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,039
Stop it!
418
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,640
What, I don't know what you mean.
419
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,119
It's just a text.
420
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,839
What if he needs me?
421
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,599
No, not your job any more, Ruby,
you dumped him, remember?
422
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,879
But he keeps calling me.
423
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,480
No-one else does.
424
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,759
Not a lot of people in my life
these days, Cameron.
425
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,600
Ruby, look around,
of course you have.
426
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,759
Matt wasn't right for you.
427
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,920
Like Min Jun?
Exactly.
428
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,399
We have to start making
informed decisions
429
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,999
about the people we want
in our lives.
430
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,879
It's a shame, I thought you
were gonna get a shag tonight.
431
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,279
Oh, babes, I am. I'm not that fussy.
432
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,959
Don't call him, OK?
433
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,439
OK.
434
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,239
♪ Who wants to live in
In trouble and strife?
435
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:38,120
♪ My mind must be free
To learn all I can about me. ♪
436
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,679
Oh! This has been
the best birthday party ever!
437
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,599
Ever, ever, ever!
438
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,599
You need to go
to more parties, babes.
439
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:48,800
Hm.
440
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,920
SHE CHUCKLES
441
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,519
Hey.
442
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,639
If you want me to make you a brew,
then you can jog on, mate.
443
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,199
No. I'm just much, much better
at making coffee, that's all.
444
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,319
SHE SNORTS
445
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,799
Bedminster's number one barista,
they call me. Is that right?
446
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,239
Come back to mine and I'll show you.
447
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,279
SHE CHUCKLES
448
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,959
Are you asking me back
to yours for a coffee?
449
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,119
You're pissed, mate.
450
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,240
Yeah. So?
451
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,719
Maybe another time.
HE SIGHS
452
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,559
It's a bit soon, you know?
453
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,479
Suit yourself.
454
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,080
It might be a one-time offer though.
That is a chance I'll have to take.
455
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,600
HE CLEARS THROAT
456
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:38,920
SHE CHUCKLES
457
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,039
RINGING TONE
458
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,679
Hello, Clinton.
Sorry it's a bit late.
459
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,239
It's Ruby speaking.
460
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,039
I've got
your line test results back.
461
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,319
And you fixed it for me.
462
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,679
She called.
I'm so glad to hear it.
463
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,079
Well, while I'm here,
is there anyone else
464
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,799
you want to add
to your Friends And Family list?
465
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,919
You can add up to nine other names.
It's OK.
466
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,039
It's quality, not quantity,
that counts.
467
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,799
Too right, Clinton, mate.
468
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:18,879
Except for crisps.
469
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,199
And roast potatoes.
470
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,519
Ha! Yeah, you can't have too many
of them bad boys, can you?
471
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,879
Good night.
472
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,280
Thanks, Ruby.
473
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,279
'We Could Run'
by Beth Ditto
474
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,839
♪ On television
475
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,399
♪ Kings and queens
476
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,479
♪ Live the lives of people's dreams
477
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:43,039
♪ You and I are human beings... ♪
478
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:47,279
Hey, Mum, sorry I missed your calls.
479
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,479
Yeah. I'm all right, actually.
480
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,240
♪ You could call this
A great mistake. ♪
481
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,440
'Young Hearts Run Free'
482
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,359
# What's the sense in sharing
This one and only life
483
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:12,479
♪ Ending up just another
Lost and lonely wife
484
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:18,319
# You'll count up the years
And they will be filled with tears
485
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,560
♪ Mm-mm. ♪
486
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,920
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