Original subtitles

Hey, Mom.

Hey.

Um, are you busy?

All right, what's going on?

Um, can I ask you, like, a question?

You can always ask me anything.

Yes, of course.

Okay.

Um, actually, like, um, no, never mind. I'm just gonna, uh, sorry.

I was just... Okay.

No, you can stay. It's all right. What is it, honey?

I don't... No, it's stupid.

Ah, you're uncomfortable.

It's okay. You know you can always come to me with anything.

What's the matter? What's up?

Um... Mom, you know about, like, you know, like, anatomy stuff, right?

Well, of course. Yeah, I'm a nerd.

Yeah, why?

What? I was just, like, wondering, like...

Do you know about, like, male anatomy stuff?

Think so, yeah.

Where's this going, baby? What's going on?

Like, I was just wondering, like, what's, like, the average, like,

penis size?

Um, okay. I understand why you were uncomfortable.

Um, so...

In the non -erect state, it's 3 .1, I believe, is the average. And then the

erect average size is 5 .1.

Like inches?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Are you worried about it?

What's the matter?

I was just kind of curious, you know, like, because I kind of,

I believe.

You know kind of dumps himself with like a couple girls and like I asked him

like What they if I thought that you know My foot like it was big or

not and like they said it was but I don't know if they were like

Being like honestly, they're just being like nice to me Yeah, I mean it's normal

to go through that. I mean you're wondering how you stack up against your

friends, right? I guess

Yeah.

Sorry, Mom. This is weird.

No, it's okay. I think everybody goes through that.

Have you ever measured it?

No. I was going to, but then, like, what's, like, the

best way to, like, measure it to make sure it's, like, you're measuring it,

like, the right way?

Yeah. Well, you just put it down against the pelvic bone.

And measured the length.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's not a big deal. You were so stressed.

You looked so worried about it. Sorry.

Yeah, I just... You know what? Why don't we do it?

I'll help you out.

Okay?

What?

Yeah. It'll be all right.

Let me go grab something.

What?

Hang on. I'll be right back.

Okay.

Don't worry, honey.

Now lay back.

Well, I can just do it, Mama.

You can?

No, you can't.

Lay back. It's okay. Don't worry. I got this.

You get a measure?

Yeah.

I mean, you're my kid, right?

No big deal.

Look.

Okay. Flaccid state, right?

Yeah.

3 .1. Let's see.

Oh.

What's that cluster for?

Yeah. All right. Let's see.

Not so bad.

Okay, cool. Don't be worried or stressed about it.

You feel better now?

Yeah. Yeah?

Okay.

Well, then let's try it in the erected state as well.

So you can make sure, so you can get all your worries out of the way, you feel

comfortable, you know exactly how you, you know, measure up, so to speak.

Okay. Yeah.

Well...

Go ahead.

Oh, yeah, I gotta get hard.

Yeah.

Here.

Let's see. Would you like some lube?

Uh, okay.

Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

Should I just, like, go to my room or something? Yeah.

Well, no, I mean... It's a good day right here.

Okay. Should I, like... Honey, it's not a big deal.

I've been looking at pieces in a professional way for a long time, so

worry about it, okay?

So just... It's just your anatomy.

Okay.

Don't be embarrassed, honey.

Can you, like, close your eyes for a moment?

Oh.

Really?

Okay. Alright.

I mean, it shouldn't take very long. You're very, you know, you're young. It

probably gets erect pretty quickly, I'm guessing.

Is it hard now?

Um, not quite.

No?

How about now?

Um, not yet, Mom.

Is it good? I'm going to peek.

Let me see.

Oh, okay. Not quite. Sorry. I was just a little nervous.

Oh, honey, I told you there's nothing to be nervous about.

It's perfectly natural.

If all you want to do is know what size you are, I mean, every young

man gets insecure about that at some point, so don't worry. It's okay. You

keep going.

Do you need some more lube?

Um, yeah, okay, Mom.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, where did it go? Did I lose it?

Here. You know what? Let me just help you out, okay?

Okay.

You'll probably get more erect this way.

Well, Mom, I know. When someone else stimulates you, you know, it's not quite

the same. You get more of a reaction.

And we'll get a better measurement because it'll be more accurate.

When it's fully erect.

Because someone else is doing the work.

Okay, well.

It's... Because you're, like, professional.

So it's not, like, weird.

I guess.

You aren't feeling like this is weird, are you?

No. Baby, it's okay. Don't worry.

Okay. Trust mommy.

Okay.

Oh, it's getting harder now.

Let's see.

Let's do a little trick here.

Let's do a little trick.

All right.

Mom, that's not going to work.

Well, that's one way.

The perineum can be very sensitive, and so can the anus.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Let's try a little more lube.

Okay. All right?

To get a good measurement, it has to be nice and hard, right?

Yeah.

You feel like it gets harder than this

Do you think it can get harder?

I think like a little bit. A little bit?

Yeah.

Alright. Well, it looks pretty hard.

Now that's more like what we're looking for.

Right? Yeah.

Like, almost seven.

Yeah?

Wow, you know, I think that's bigger than your dad's.

Is it really?

Yeah, let me see that again.

There you go.

Okay, that's good.

Are you happy? So see that, baby? You're above average.

That's cool. Good. Yeah.

Perfectly normal.

Okay, Mom. Thanks.

Oh, you're welcome, sweetie.

Anytime.

I wouldn't want you to be worried about anything.

Okay, we probably don't need to... Well, we probably don't need to... Because

we've measured it now, so... Oh.

Well, you need to ejaculate because you're hard, right?

You have this erection. I mean, when was the last time you ejaculated?

A couple days ago, I think.

Yeah.

Well, for good prostate health, it's important to ejaculate regularly, right?

Oh, okay.

So, I'll just help you out with that a little bit.

What do you think?

I mean, I want you to be nice and healthy.

Okay.

I'm sure, like, it's not like... Like...

What? Uh, nothing. Like, just...

It's important, baby.

Just, um, you know, treat this like an exam.

Sexual health is important too, you know. Yeah.

Your father doesn't need to know about it though, right?

Oh, okay.

You

know,

Mommy has a special toy.

Maybe we should use that instead.

What do you think?

Okay. Yeah, that might work.

Okay.

That might be a better idea.

Okay. Just close your eyes, okay?

Close your eyes and relax.

Just pretend you're somewhere else, okay?

Okay.

Just like keep my eyes closed?

Yeah, baby.

Just keep your eyes closed. Okay.

Alright.

You feel my hand?

Yeah.

Okay, now here comes the toy.

Okay.

Just really good Just

pretend

It's like a medical exam, right?

So it's not bad.

You measure up so well, baby.

Especially next to Dad.

You have nothing to worry about.

Just shh.

Okay? Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Thanks, Mom.