Original subtitles

I spent a lot of time deciding to marry Yves.

I knew that it would not happen easily.

Too many painful problems had affected my affective and sexual life since I was

a child.

But since I knew Yves, he had always shown himself full of delicacies.

And on the day of the wedding, I had regained confidence in him and in life.

I no longer thought about the joy of being his wife and belonging to him.

Only when I found myself alone with him, in his big house, in his room,

Et qu 'il fallut me déshabiller, que l 'angoisse s 'empara de moi.

Je savais qu 'il allait me faire l 'amour, c 'était normal.

Et n 'importe quel jeune marié devrait en éprouver du bonheur.

When he judged me well prepared, he put himself on me to penetrate me.

It was then that the terror took over me.

Ce contact physique me causait une impression de viol contre lequel tout

être se révoltait.

Sans rien dire à Yves, j 'ai fui, véritablement paniquée.

Je ne pouvais lui révéler la vérité.

Je ne me supportais plus moi -même, telle que j 'étais. Il fallait que je me

change, même physiquement.

Je ne voulais plus être cette blonde qui avait vécu ces heures angoissantes.

J 'ai transformé mes cheveux, mon aspect de faible créature, et je me suis

réfugiée chez mon ami Dora.

I was looking for protection with her against the aggression of men.

With

her,

everything was wonderful.

Aucune répulsion ne se traitait entre sa tendresse et moi.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

No, no, no.

I find her rather tired these days.

You too?

Oui. Je crois qu 'elle aurait besoin de changer d 'air.

J 'étais sans volonté. Je la laissais décider pour moi.

Mais il y avait la nuit et les exigences de la vie commune qu 'il fallait de

nouveau assumer.

Yves était gentil.

Il essayait de comprendre ma peur de l 'acte. Il se contentait de me caresser.

Oh. Oh.

Of course, I enjoyed it that way, but I felt that I couldn't satisfy him.

Hello?

Hello, Bernard?

It's Madeleine.

Are you free tonight?

Okay. Good.

I knew there was something abnormal in my behavior, in this panic fear of man.

Little by little, Bernard buried everything that was buried in my

When I was little, I felt a true love for my mother.

Every man who approached her was my God, plus my father.

One day, I surprised them both.

It seemed to me that he was raping her.

But maybe he just wanted to make love to her.

I decided to make an effort on myself and to accept my husband.

No, you're stupid.

I don't like it.

Yes, you're stupid, indeed.

Je tâchais même de lui faire plaisir, de le satisfaire pleinement, et j 'ai

trouvé une espèce de volupté.

Oui, oui, oui.

Je l 'aimais, j 'aimais ses carrés.

No. No. No.

Oh, my God.

No, come. Come in front. Come, my love.

I want to come.

Come.

Come. Give me everything.

I want everything in me.

Let me make you a child.

That day, he possessed me as much as he wanted.

Deep down, I think the desire to be a mother fought at least against the fear

making a child who would look like me. Far from healing, I became more and more

nervous and irritable.

On the subject of the courses, you can't be interested.

Yes, I can.

You can't be interested.

Madeline, you're so childish.

Are you going to start being jealous of my students?

Why not?

Because they're very pretty.

They look at you with eyes.

But all the students are more or less in love with their teachers.

Which doesn't mean that the opposite is true.

Notice.

I spied on my husband, jealous of everything that could have brought him

satisfaction. that I could not provide them.

No. No.

No.

Or not more pleasant, at least.

Why, wasn't it good?

Yes, it was good, but it lacks a bit of variety.

Don't worry, I saw my gynecologist.

In a month, you'll be fine.

Why, I... Not you?

No, dad.

I saw the mouchoir.

So he found it.

I never gave it to him.

Make him deny it. Has he confessed the truth?

He has confessed.

What, my lord?

That he had you. What, illegitimately?

Yes. He will not repeat it.

No, his mouth is closed. Honest love, he is in the right order.

My brother, guess.

What? He is dead?

When he would have had as much life as hair, a great vengeance would have had

the rancor for all of them.

And there, he is betrayed.

And I am lost.

If you don't prostitute, will you cry for him in front of me?

Bless me, my lord, but don't kill me.

Abba, prostitute!

Kill me tomorrow.

Let me live this night.

No, if you defend yourself.

Just half an hour.

An execution or no surgery.

Just the time to say a prayer.

It's too late.

Dora represented an actress to Yves.

Maybe a jealous detail of the attachment that my husband continued to experience

for me, despite our sexual problems.

By accepting her life at three, Yves and Rukif would quickly detach from me and

that I would return to her.

But it was nothing.

Et elle décida d 'aider le destin.

Elle -même, d 'ailleurs, ne manquait pas de prendre son plaisir où elle le

trouvait.

Elle n 'avait pas mes complexes.

Tu es toujours aussi pressé.

Il y a trois mois que je ne t 'ai pas vu. Je ne peux plus attendre une minute

plus. Et depuis trois mois, tu m 'attends dans cet état -là?

Toutes les heures, je n 'arrive pas à me satisfaire. Quand j 'ai fini avec une,

je suis de nouveau prépantant.

Quel appétit!

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Please.

Please. Please.

I don't believe that I believe you.

I would rather think that I am alone and abandoned, and that I am very happy to

have you.

It would be better.

You would not make me think that.

It does not bother you that I am changing in front of you?

And what was to happen, happened.

Of course, she loved me less, Agathe.

She had a serious habit of enjoyment, since she went everywhere willingly with

all her team.

And he let himself be taken.

Comment aurait -il résulté au charme de Kat?

Si belle, si voluptueuse, si savante en caresse, si folle de son corps.

C 'est bon.

Good to meet you.

I'll see.

I'll see. I'll see.

I'll see more.

Viens derrière, viens.

Unfortunately, I came to surprise him.

I had good news to tell him.

I was pregnant.

But I didn't tell him anything.

My revolt broke out and I broke everything.

I had been so happy with this wedding.

And the betrayal of Yves questioned everything.

Is this the friendship we promised?

And now we have nothing more to say.

You will speak to my lawyer for the divorce.

Madeleine, this is crazy.

All this is unimportant.

L 'essentiel, c 'est que nous nous aimions par -dessus tout.

Garde des grands mots pour ton actrice.

Elle sait mieux que moi de jouer la comédie.

Alors je suis retournée avec Dora.

Elle sait me comprenait, me comblait, me donnait la joie sexuelle.

Oh, it was not.

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

You're calmer.

You know, the pleasure.

What? The pleasure doesn't count?

Yes, of course it counts.

But I mean, it's not... It's not everything in love.

And what else do you need?

Listen, it's hard to explain.

And then... And then... And then you're good.

No,

no,

no, surtout pas.

And she tried to fix things.

Oh, Yves!

Zora! It's been a century since I last saw you.

Have you seen Madeleine recently?

Yes, Yves.

She wanted to talk to Yves and convince me to come back with him, which was

unfortunate, because he had discovered the perversity of her actress.

It was a rough cut for me.

Besides, it was covered.

This man who was having fun with Agathe, I knew him.

C 'était comme un mauvais génie qui tournait autour de ma destinée.

C 'était avec lui que j 'avais fait ma première expérience sexuelle.

Lorsque j 'étais encore chez mon père, je me promenais une nuit dans le parc,

je fus surprise par cet homme, un véritable satyre.

Que faisait -il nuit la nuit dans la propriété de mon père ? J 'étais

par son cœur, aussi bien de crainte que de désir secret.

Je ne sais pas si chaque jeune fille n 'a pas enfoui au fond d 'elle -même le

désir d 'être violée.

Elle ne possédait déjà le regard comme le serpent charme l 'oiseau.

Thank you.

Je tentais de me dégager de lui, mais enfin, il me tenait bien et je lui me

pliais à ses fantaisies.

No word had been spoken between us.

And he disappeared as he had come.

That's how I was traumatized.

That's why I felt this shame to enjoy.

No, I wasn't ready to come back to my husband.

Come on, courage.

You can talk to him.

No.

It's useless.

I had to heal first.

It doesn't hurt?

Do you want me to come with you?

No, stay.

I'll go in alone.

Are you okay?

Bernard accepted to compete for my healing.

He applied a strange therapeutic to me. By trying him, a doctor I trusted,

To make me desire the act of penetration, and not to impose it on me.

No, Bernard.

I can feel your desire.

No, I can't, Bernard, please.

I regret it so much.

You're crazy about desire.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh.

Même si je l 'appelais avec mes sens, au fond de moi -même, je n 'étais prête à

l 'accepter.

Là encore, c 'est fait l 'échec.

Je voulais pourtant de toutes mes forces.

To become a normal woman again, in order to be able to give a father to the

child I was carrying.

I accepted the proposal of Bernard and Dora, and I gave myself one last

experience, with the man who was the cause of my trauma.

A kind of group therapy was decided, which was to never let me go of my

of the sexual act.

Look at me.

Come on.

I'm not scabbing you, are I?

So Bernard, have you come to Christophe?

You think?

Look.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

I had a bone hammered off.

Look how well I play with my tail.

Come on, you too.

Come and enjoy.

Can you do that, auntie? Oh, no, no.

It doesn't bother me at all, you know.

No, thank you, Bena. For me, I... I don't want to.

I don't want to.

Oh,

you make me drool like a worm.

Thank you.

Tu commences toujours par dire non.

Et tu en es en envie.

Regarde, c 'est tout mouillé.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Simple devil.

But he can't do nothing.

He's about to talk.

It was

full

of good will. I wanted to participate.

My daughter is capable of humiliating the club.

The shock, however, was violent on my psyche.

It triggered a series of memories.

I remember having involuntarily attended other debates in my childhood.

Mon père et ma mère s 'aimant, et tout de suite après, dans mon souvenir, la

mort de ma mère.

La peur que j 'avais conçue de mon père.

Son approche pourtant affectueuse me mettait dans des états de crise

Nul doute, j 'associais l 'idée de l 'amour et l 'idée de la mort dans ma

tête. Et c 'est l 'accouchement qui me libéra à jamais de mon angoisse devant l

'amour physique et la possession sexuelle.

Tu n 'as jamais revu Yves depuis le divorce ? Non, jamais.

C 'était pas un peu idiot cette dispute?

Oh oui.

J 'étais très bête.

Je me suis aperçue depuis toutes ces années que je n 'ai jamais aimé que lui.

Mais j 'ai été tellement bouleversée. J 'ai vu un gynécologue, j 'ai suivi un

traitement. Tu l 'as dit à ton mari?

Jamais. J 'étais trop orgueilleuse pour ça.

Mais tu es sotte.

Moi je suis persuadée qu 'il t 'aime toujours.

Et c 'est encore à Dora que j 'identifiais avec ma mère dans mon

que je dus de retrouver l 'amour d 'Yves.

Tous les jours, je promenais ma fille au jardin.

Et un jour, prévenu par Dora, Yves était là, prêt à me reprendre et à repartir à

zéro avec moi.

C 'est ainsi que je tenais dans mes bras, et qui était le fruit de cet acte,

réconcilier avec lui.

And the end of our problems is the beginning of our happiness.

My baby.

My baby.

Oh, Nicky.

It's all right.

Quelle étreinte voluptueuse, quelle jouissance complète dans la plénitude de

notre amour, enfin retrouvée, et de ma sexualité enfin épanouie.