Original subtitles

em superintendent

You'll only get hiccups if you gobble like that.

I'm not gobbling.

What time is it really coming?

Hey, ought to be here now.

Would you like some more coffee?

Erm, no, no, dear.

I think you'd bet her.

I wanted to meet our new treasure.

Ah, no, we have one.

She seems a nice girl, but rather grand.

Goodness the other one's gone.

I couldn't stand her.

Like I never remember her name.

What was it?

Methan, we.

Ah.

Good morning.

Good morning, sir.

What's your name?

Jaz Min, sir.

We have arranged that she shall be called Saunders.

Madam has explained your lapse of memories, sir.

Oh, er, oh, yes, well, er, I shan't want any more coffee.

Thank you, er, Saunders, erm, my family.

You're quite right, sir.

I was in the employ of the Duke of Ciderington for three years.

His grace never took coffee before the day on the course.

He said it made his hand unsteady.

Really?

Yes, sir.

And since when on the subject of golf allowed me to congratulate you,

I noticed your bag in the hall and was delighted to see a complete set of Bobby Jones' steel

shafters.

I knew at once you were a connoisseur.

Oh, thank you very much, Refenwey.

Erm, the Saunders.

A mayor asks, sir, what balls you use?

Well, just ordinary balls.

His grace never used anything except spaldings.

Which course are you playing on?

Chitchester.

Oh, dear.

Surely you must know, sir, your irons or all you need at Chitchester.

She seems all right, doesn't she?

Quite.

Oh, I do wish Willy had learned to be punctual.

Showing him up.

What for?

To bring him down.

He did one day only good.

He's most likely in the bath.

He does all his thinking in the bath.

Then he should have been down quite some time ago.

Oh, don't be bitter, dear.

What are you going to do?

Nothing in particular.

My ballet practice, Tidy up, does the bit to set sawn as a good example.

I'm ludging with Jane, we should probably go to a matinee.

No, no, no, I didn't.

I tell you your day and pan out normally.

Yes, but I do have a presentiment when I first woke up this morning.

Is that it?

Yes, you said, sir.

Of course not.

You can't define a presentiment.

It really felt quite odd.

Is there something damnable?

What about to happen?

You go on thinking in that vein, something damnable will happen.

Being very important and taciturn this morning.

No, but I don't like to see you worrying yourself over nothing.

I'm not really.

I'm very happy.

Are you, honesty?

Yes, of course.

Good.

I think it's awfully silly of people to lead unhappy lives, isn't it?

I suppose so.

We shall both know the moment that we go off one another.

We'll be married five years.

Five divine years.

Yes, wonderful.

We're not a bit in love now, you know.

I don't know anything of the sort.

That's true.

The first violin passion is naturally over.

One card really?

Be in love without passion.

That's why I said we weren't anymore.

Don't be annoying, Julia.

You know perfectly well that we've reached a remarkably sublime plane of affection and

good comradeship far above us.

Just ordinary being in love, I quite agree.

We are in love in a different way.

I think there is no different way.

It's the same for everybody.

I've discussed it with Jane.

I think that's dreadful.

Since you discuss everything with Willie.

Yes, but differently.

I think so.

I think so.

You discuss everything with Willie.

Yes, but differently, yeah?

Yes, accurately I expect.

Well never mind.

You go off and play golf and quarrel with Willie and I shall stay at home and quarrel with Jane

and we'll all be awfully happy.

There is Willie.

I'll let him in and say gasmin' the trouble.

Saunders, will you be coming home tomorrow?

Uh, perhaps tonight is the weather's bad.

Well you might telephone and let me know.

Yeah, right.

Good morning, Julia Hile.

Fred and I have just been having a psychological romp.

It was very stimulating.

Great to press me for the day.

James be the trifle difficult this morning.

She woke up with a presentable good.

She went all about it all through breakfast.

I've had it tackled us over.

I did at least wait until we finished.

Oh, have you had one too?

Yes, a beast.

Don't ask me to explain it.

It's all quite intangible just to present.

Well, let's go and leave them to their dreary foreboding.

Cars downstairs.

I'm very thoughtful of you not to bring it up.

Oh, oh, got it up.

Yes, I'm only taking my irons.

Why?

Never mind.

Goodbye, Julia.

Don't encourage James too much.

How's it going?

Goodbye, darling.

Bye, darling.

Bye, don't forget to telephone.

Does it feel awfully strange to be in a new place on this?

No, madam, not particularly.

I'm so glad.

If a rather strange-looking man calls during the morning,

will you take him straight up to the bath?

Yes, madam.

Shall I run a bath for you?

No, you'll be the plumber.

Be flat.

What?

Excuse me, madam.

You played be natural.

It should be be flat.

I was brought up in a convent, madam.

You're quite right, Saunders.

It was be flat.

I have an infallible ear.

For four years, I was with madam Carmen Granado,

the celebrated concert pianist.

She had a big stone grand.

Your little instrument will make a nice change.

May I, madam?

Sure, damn.

Take this in more greasy.

Ma'am.

I've heard a ton, la lait.

La volutee.

True balaunter.

Freeza bele.

Stop singing that song!

Oh, madam, what a fright you gave me.

That will do, Saunders.

Saunders was just practicing.

Why on earth, you all dressed up like that?

Oh, we must both go away at once.

All right?

Where should we go?

Read that.

It's the blue grotto, Capri.

Oh, my God.

Rindy, come here.

Oh, no, I suppose today, any moment.

Oh, Jane, I wonder if this Jane...

I packed just a few things I thought, perhaps,

brightened for a few days until our passports were properly beezed.

Passport?

America!

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Now sit down.

I'll get you a drink of water.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm all worked, Cap.

There was the most frightful shop.

Oh, oh.

Oh.

And the funny thing is that I had a presentum

until I first woke up this morning.

So did I.

Did you?

Now we must talk.

This didn't look quite calmly.

Have a cigarette.

Now then, we've got the whole day before us.

Oh, I only hope we have.

You don't think it'll arrive before language?

He might.

He never had the slightest restraint.

Oh, after five years, I do think it's cruel.

Well, at least we can face it together.

Well, it'll be agony facing him together.

We must be fine.

I suppose he's just as attractive and glamorous as ever.

We shall both go down like nine.

I shan't.

I'm much too fond of Fred.

Oh, I've been telling myself all morning that I'm too fond of Willy,

but I don't know.

I'm afraid.

You see, Julia, we're not really in love with our husbands anymore.

We're awfully happy.

Exactly what I told Fred this morning.

Julia, I do wish we hadn't when we did.

It's a fat lot of good wishing that now.

Hey, you.

Give me back the blue grotto.

It's typical of him to send that.

Typical.

Maurice.

Maurice.

It gives me the most fearful sort of illegitimate thrill just to look at his name.

I wonder if he realizes he's been the one grand passion in both our lives.

Of course he does.

It's almost his profession.

I wonder if you can speak English now.

I know who I hope, Naughty.

We're so lovely in French.

Oh, and I remember Italy.

The Cyprus is in the moonlight.

And the glorious romance of it all.

Don't dare.

You'll only upset yourself.

Do you remember I wrote you from Scotland and told you all about it?

We used to go out and look at the leaning tower.

Night?

After night?

Yes, and I was so worried because I guessed.

And then that lovely soul.

Sometimes on the terribly cracked piano of the hotel.

Or sometimes just walking down the street.

Juret.

Oh, do it.

Because he was a thing that's all to me after.

Mama.

Alle.

Da.

Alle.

Da.

Alle.

Da.

Da.

Da.

Alle.

La.

La.

La.

You deep through long.

Da.

Lancer.

Liser me.

Lancer.

Juret.

Tame the post, Nell.

Don't tell me I know.

It's the leaning tower of Pisa.

Oh, of course.

Oh, what a devil.

Sherry Verailón, recits a man.

Shaspéravic, túnocle.

Carvunum ou blei, pa.

Maurice.

Sets a man.

Today's Saturday.

What are we going to do?

We're going to do a game.

We must summon up all our college.

We must lay the whole situation out, like Patience, and then we shall know where we are.

Now then.

Now then.

Two.

Rachidly happy married women.

Both during the first two years of their married lives, having treated their exceedingly nice husbands to the requisite amount of passion and adoration.

Yes, yes.

After a certain time, the first ecstasy subsided.

Being in some instances, an added waste of discontent, rach boredom, and rampant adultery on both sides.

It's gross out in other rare instances, such as ours.

Complete happiness and tranquility, unmixed with violent emotion of any kind, except for the possible exception of golf.

Quite, quite.

And there lies the trouble.

The absence of violent emotions, fireworks, etc.

But I don't want fireworks.

Neither do I.

At least not the nice part of me.

The beastly, unworthy thing in both of us waiting to spring.

It's sprang before our marriages, and it's waiting to spare again.

Could you hear?

In short, my dear, we are both ripe for a lapse.

No, it's a relapse.

Shh!

So does we, will you.

Do you let me must go at once, anywhere out of London?

I shall do no such thing.

It would be most cowardly.

A blind goat could see through that, dear.

I shall stay and face it.

Well, if you do, I shall.

Well, there's not the least necessity for us both to say.

If you imagine that I should enjoy being by myself in Brighton, while you were gallivanting about London with Morrie.

I should be much too upset to gallivate.

No, dear, it won't do. We stand or fall together.

I don't mind standing together, but I will not fall together. It'll be most embarrassing.

Anyway, I'm not going to be left out of anything.

Very well then. I'll go away and you can stay.

Yes. Yes, that's all right.

But what about standing or falling together?

Well, you see, I'm willing to sacrifice myself for you.

Liar!

You're going to be cross. I shall go.

I'm not in the least bit cross. I'm simply seeing through you, Miss All.

Who was it who wouldn't leave London today because it would be cowardly?

Ha! Are you insinuating, dear, that I want to stay?

I'm not insinuating, dear. I'm dead satin of it.

You're simply longing for him.

Jay! You are. You know you are.

But so are you. Certainly I am.

Oh, Jay. We must be very careful. I'm always careful.

No, I don't mean about him. I mean, right us.

We've been great friends since we were eight or nine.

Jay and I can't go through with it. Let's do your plan and fly together.

But he'll think it's so rude.

Don't weaken, Jay.

Frenchmen are so particular about that sort of thing.

It can't be helped one can carry good manners too far.

I know. We can leave him a letter.

Taying we've been called away.

You write it. Well, I pack a small suit. Yes.

Saunders! Saunders!

Shall I start more Cher Maurice?

Er, not Cher Cher. It's less compromising.

Yes, madam.

Er, pack me a small suit case. I'd be called away.

Not Cher Maurice. No, some deseliquer, sin por pous s'en por pous s'en por nous de vous vous vous vous s'et fois.

Not set fois. Sounds so sly.

What shall I put?

Well, you are in London. No, Saunders. I shall need those sort of things at all.

What, while?

I am the faintest idea. Ponder, madam.

Oh, you speak French. How would you say we are very happily married?

No, so merry, mant an entreiser as more.

Thank you.

Do you feel this is quite the moment for us to announce that we are happily married?

Now or never?

Well, Pussy isn't it fun afterwards.

I don't know how to...

Saunders will.

Saint Amazon des par?

Saint Amazon des par?

Yes, but it isn't particularly.

Tidy up, Saunders. Finish it off gracefully, dear.

Honest there, who are the Antoine, we must've done a smith like.

And then we must both sign on.

Oh, my God.

Do you think perhaps we ought to warn Fred and Willie?

We haven't got time to leave anyone known for the telephone.

Oh, there.

Where from?

Aberdeen! Oh, come on!

I'm ready.

Saunders, we're leaving a note for a foreign gentleman when he calls.

Very good, madam.

I'm glad.

I'm tremendously glad.

We're doing the right thing, don't you feel marvellous?

No, awful.

Oh.

We'll never mind our better selves of one in spite of everything.

Yes.

Oh!

Dang!

Dang.

Martini's please, Saunders.

Strong ones.

Very strong ones.

And if one isn't enough, we should have to.

If you allow me to say so, madam,

several drinks never did any harm.

It's only the first which is dangerous.

After that, the damage is done.

Obviously, Saunders, you speak from experience.

I used to be a bomb-made madam.

Thank you, Saunders.

I'm extremely hungry, Julia.

Sir my, Rannus.

It's getting on for nine.

There's not the least likelihood of him arriving now.

He might.

Anyway, the idea was for him to arrive unexpectedly

and discover us dining together in charming domestic surroundings.

Not sitting twiddling our thumbs with eagerness.

I'm not going to be a fool.

I'm not going to be a fool.

It's in the surroundings.

Not sitting twiddling our thumbs with eager, strained expressions

and the rum decorated like a bridal sweet.

That remark, dear, was not in the best of taste.

Ah! What have you got there, Saunders?

Salted almonds.

Oh, good.

Will you have an almond?

It may assuage the pangs of it.

I'm sorry, I haven't got a pebble for you to suck to take away your hunger.

What are you smiling, Addison, Ders?

If you allow me to say so, madam,

Pibles are not sucked to take away hunger, but thirst by knurmads in the desert madam.

When I was in car...

Thank you, Saunders.

Very good madam.

It's been the most shuttering day.

I shall never forget your face when the plumber arrived this morning.

And why do you suppose Violet Kozwick chose today of all days to come to tea?

And what was the meaning of that hat?

It appeared to be held on by suction.

Let's have another martini.

When Maurice does arrive, we shall giggle helplessly at him.

Our heads will wobble.

He'll kiss our hands and look up at us while he does it.

Remember?

I remember all right.

And then he'll smile and show all his teeth.

Many more than I usual.

We know what we're doing, don't you?

We're working ourselves up.

We have been all day.

Oh, I should like to scream and scream and scream and roll around on the floor.

It's like a food.

That's what it is.

We won't wait any longer.

Do now please, Saunders.

Quickly.

Yes madam.

Shall I open the champagne?

Oh no, yes, yes.

Open it.

Champagne is a great strengthener.

Very great madam.

The patient's where I used to work.

Don't tell me I know you worked in a hospital.

How did you kiss madam?

I think perhaps it's something to do with the way you walk.

Very good madam.

If she goes on, she'll throw her out of the window.

It's a taxi!

It's coming outside!

Oh, it's too dark, I can't see.

It's gonna be like...

It must be, it must be!

Oh no, it's that beastly woman from upstairs.

How dare she drive about in taxes?

In a reserve madam.

Oh, it was lovely of you to think of Oisse.

It was dear.

They do give one a grand feeling.

It was terribly important for us to feel grand tonight.

Wouldn't it be awful if Fred and Willie came home?

Drunk!

What did you say?

I said, wouldn't it be awful if Fred and Willie

came home drunk?

Why should they?

Of course, it'd be frightful.

I'd forgotten it was Saturday.

Saturday?

Naturally depressing with the fog.

Oh yes, of course.

But only if you pay your subscription in advance.

Are you sure you left a message at your flat

in case he went there first?

Absolutely.

We'll get the most frightful shock when we do see him.

His bound will have got fat or something.

Oh no, he wouldn't have come at all if he had.

He's much too conceited.

No, not conceited.

The little vein, perhaps,

with those eyes who can blame him.

And those hands,

and those teeth,

and those legs.

Oh, Jane.

Oh, Julia.

How's all champagne?

Oh come on, do.

Well, take it up.

I'm beginning to feel much better now, aren't you?

Yes.

Oh, I adore this little sausage with my egg.

Too sweet, isn't it?

It's all been such a wonderful adventure.

It hasn't even started yet.

We mustn't lose our heads.

Perhaps he won't want us to this time.

My god, oh my god,

here's my house.

Park 1296, it is me.

Is that you, Maurice?

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Oh, Uncle Hugo.

Oh, he's playing golf with winning.

Oh, Dad, it's a shot up.

No, no, not you, Uncle Hugo.

Yes, I will.

I'll tell him.

Yes.

Goodbye.

Oh, you pit old fool.

I hate all Fred's relations.

Oh, I hate all of you.

He's probably gone straight to a hotel.

He'll have a lovely hot bath,

change his clothes and come on hereafter.

You always had a hot bath after a journey?

I hadn't forgotten, dear.

And he'll wear a soft silk shirt with his dinner jacket,

so beautifully careless.

Don't, Jane.

How make me feel dreadful?

I can see him now,

threading his way between the tables at Floyons

on the Piazza San Marco.

We used to have coffee there.

And then the rift over the lagoon,

while darling little gondoliers poured out their sentimental

souls in the most shattering ten of voices.

Buildings rising up like ghosts in the mist.

And then Maurice would take me in his arms,

and the world seemed to go.

Have some more champagne.

All right.

It's the prettiest stuff together, Jane.

It's Saunders.

Open the door.

Hey, you can take that.

Cut!

You've done so much.

I've done so much.

I can't.

Go on.

Eat a little soft bread.

Saunders told you to.

She always knows that.

That's right.

I'm better.

It's a foreign gentleman, madam.

Why did you show him in?

What's he like?

Quite respectable, madam, but with a moustache.

Jane, let's pee.

Why didn't you get rid of him, Saunders?

You said you were expecting a foreign gentleman, madam,

so I thought I'd better keep him in case.

He's looking for a madam gambeliti.

I'll do it now.

How nice.

Cool.

That's what it is.

More champagne?

No!

Thank you.

Well, don't shout.

I shall shout if I like.

It must be a ditatoric.

Oh, I should shout.

Maurice Stuclow.

No, he has to say.

Oh.

Oh.

That was silly, Elvis.

He's so state quickly.

Julia, wouldn't it be awfully if a tree blew down.

Killed Red and Willie on the golf link.

Jane, how can you?

Even if they were killed, we would have to pair it.

We wouldn't break down.

We'd face the world with a smile.

Not quite a smile, perhaps.

We might be misunderstood.

I can see Red now.

Being carried in on a stretch.

Oh, there's Willie on another stretch.

Jane.

No.

Good day, Lass.

No, no, you do that.

We're Sherri Stone.

Oh, man, I like it.

We're good with the...

I suppose champagne.

No, they do.

Hey, Lass.

Thanks, darling.

You're a silly party.

I'm a kitty to be a terrible sleepy.

No, I'm not a miscozy.

No, I feel terribly, terribly sleepy.

Bring in the coffee, Saunders.

You're a hanger.

No, sorry.

But you know what, right?

You're fucking happy with me.

You just do as a hezer.

They're too big.

You must be bad too much.

Sam, hey.

Must too much.

We'll give you a full of the king,

came in.

Saunders was a nice, simming bag of beer.

I'm gonna give you a warm and comfortable...

A child could play with me.

I don't care what happens now.

I'm past everything.

Will you have some coffee?

Thank you.

Lick your...

I'm gonna be ridiculous.

May 16th, please, Saunders.

Intamulous!

They round off the meal so nicely.

Pat.

Will you have some fruit?

Couldn't.

Oh, do.

It rounds off the meal so nicely.

Oh, heaven's sake,

stop rounding off the meal.

Think of my nerves.

Don't be so gentle, Jane.

It would matter if I took off my shoes.

Not at least.

There was doing Japan, I believe.

Quite no custom.

If Maurice had any instincts,

he would arrive now, looking marvellous.

I make those lovely, sort of,

baffle scene.

What a baffle, will.

Ask, of course,

because we'd be so glorious,

the aloof, for staking.

Oh, I shouldn't be aloof.

I should give in without a murmur.

Then he'd want me more.

I don't think that's the way to make.

If you better encourage me.

You don't need encouraging.

What do you mean by that?

What'd I say?

How dare you?

How dare I what?

In fact me.

I didn't insult you.

In you meant what I said?

Meant what?

I haven't said how'd been anybody

have a conversation with you

when you stand and say,

what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, all the time?

If you can't say what I grasp,

you better go to bed.

That was exceedingly rude of you, Jane.

Ah, I'm sorry, Julie, but you're annoying me.

Unfortunately, it happens to be my flat.

Never mind.

You'll get used to it in time.

Stop bickering, Jane.

Well, look at that, stop bickering.

You stand there and stop ting me.

This...

...saltchoo.

You did.

You insinuated I was brazen.

Well, so you are sometimes.

We all are as human nature.

Nothing at the spot.

I do wish you stop.

How to fix the BJ.

Where are my shoes?

I don't know.

They can't have gone very far.

Oh, I should like to shake you, shake you,

and shake you until your eyes do it.

About you make me feel like a French Revolution,

for I'll go.

I'd like to rush up and down one street

with one of your tiny heads on a pole.

Ah, I think you best pull yourself together

and I should get Saunders to show you what she comes near me.

I shall throttle her.

Never see you, van, and before it's very interesting,

psychological.

It could bring you down to earth.

In one minute, if I wanted to,

what vulgarity?

This is not vulgarity.

Julia, I've kept something from you.

I wish you go home, Jim.

It concerns, Maurice.

Oh, it concerns Maurice.

Yes, I thought that would rouse you.

I know where it is.

Shall I?

No, it's true.

It tells me what I was dressing for dinner tonight.

I didn't want to tell you before,

because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

But now that I know you're having any feelings to hurt,

I tell you, sort of shallow, sort of...

Where is you, van, tell me?

I should do no such thing.

I don't want you rushing around there and making you fooling at yourself.

How dare you?

How dare you?

It'll never speak to you again.

I'll tell you, completely, you're terrible.

If what you say is true,

you're nothing but a snoozing hypocrite.

If it's for her, I'll pay off those charges.

There's nothing to choose between you.

Please go at once.

Oh, go, sadly.

I shall, Julia, you must, Kirby.

You must have your social sense.

Did you get into the ground?

Go.

I just didn't abuse.

Go!

Sadly, I shall go, and admit,

because you don't know that I'm going straight to my knees!

L

and once and you and Fred and Billy,

and a whole lot of you can go to hell!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

When I say a soft boiled egg, Saunders,

I do not mean an unboiled egg.

Very good, madam.

There is a hair in the milk, Saunders.

Perhaps it came from the milkman, madam.

The milkman is bald.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

Morning, Julia.

Willie.

What are you doing here?

Where's Fred?

I lived him at the Grand Tell Chitchester.

Where's Jane?

I'm the fenest idea.

She could be anywhere by now.

What do you mean by now?

What's happened?

Everything, probably, by now.

What are you talking about?

Do stop cross-questioning me.

Anyone would think I'd put her in a box or something.

From the first-if-way you're behaving,

I shouldn't be in the least surprised.

What about you leaving Fred alone at the Grand Hotel Chitchester?

We had a row last night.

Fred infuriated me.

I'm sorry to hear it.

I shall speak to him severely.

Thank you.

I couldn't bear to meet him at breakfast,

so I crept out and left by the early tread.

But what did you row about?

Nothing.

That's always the worst kind.

Have you collared with Jane?

Bit early.

What about?

Nothing.

We got drunk.

What?

Extremely drunk.

If I can't go away from a quiet game of golf,

like you making Jane gunk.

I didn't make her.

It was voluntary.

Well, she now.

Probably at home, sleeping it off in bed.

She isn't. I've just been there.

But I thought you came straight here.

I have a large bag and golf cups.

Are you sure Jane isn't at home?

Perfectly.

But I didn't want it because I was sure she'd be here with you.

It's true then.

She must have been steadily deceiving me all through dinner.

How dare she?

How dare she?

How dare she?

How dare you stop killing it?

It's been much effort.

I explained.

I explained.

All right.

Oh, the sly.

Under the...

You're referring to my wife.

Your wife?

Oh, Tim is...

Julia.

My poor, poor Willie.

You're maddening me, Julia.

You think that you could behave like that after all these times?

Oh, it's utterly, completely contemptible.

What happened again?

Where's she gone?

I should have to break it to you gently, Willie.

She's gone off with her man.

What?

A Frenchman?

Nonsense, you can't have.

You're unhinged.

I'm perfectly hinged.

You don't be so big-headed.

Willie, this is one of the few great moments of your life.

And you're ahead in like a nitty.

Oh, look, if you think snapping about the woman bled out in Jane is a big moment in my life, you're very much mistaken.

But it's true.

She was in love with him before she ever met you.

They're ridiculous.

Your smug complicency is beyond belief.

I suppose you think that no woman would ever dare believe you.

Jane couldn't she hate it.

Oh, you're in for a shatter in your weight, Willie.

I look over Julia.

Why not calm down and explain to you how she's been so happy?

I look down and explain things quietly.

Oh, Willie.

What's up now?

Oh, oh, oh.

I was such a beast.

I was such a traitorous.

No, you're not.

You're just thoroughly hysterical.

Jane rarely had left me.

I'm sure you have some feeling about it, but I haven't.

If that will come late.

Who is this man who's supposed to be with?

Where is the glow?

We both knew him before we were married.

Did you wear him well?

Extremely well.

Would you hate in love with him, then?

Yes.

Violently.

We both were.

Did you?

Yes, Willie.

Where?

Biza.

And did Jane?

Yes, Willie.

And his.

Very special.

Horrible.

Incredible.

I can't see them since we were married.

No.

Oh, well, at least I don't know.

She's such a liar.

When did you laugh at him?

Seven years ago.

I was a liar.

I was a liar.

I was a liar.

You could laugh at him.

Seven years ago.

On the railway station at Pisa.

We were both going to Paris.

I wanted to allow me sandwich.

And he hated garlic.

So we had a row.

And I pushed him off the train, just as it was started.

You were to be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

I didn't push him very hard.

I didn't mean about that.

I mean, the whole scene.

You're devoid of all motions.

What about Jane?

She's different.

She's weak.

I bet you, a dog.

She didn't need any egging.

If you don't happen ages are going to be eaten.

ages ago and she didn't tell anyone.

She was probably too ashamed of the repentance.

Repentant to my foot.

It's more than you. I are positively glorying in your shame.

If I know what a smug little man you were,

I'd never let Jane marry you.

And if I'd know how utterly lacking you and all the finer feelings,

I'd never let fit come near you.

I should stop hurling abuse at me and go in search of your weak,

but strictly virtue as wife.

If she hasn't succeeded in fighting Maurice Duclobai now,

she is probably roaming the streets in deep evening dress and hiccups.

I am not going with you because I wish to help you.

I am going with you because I wish to find Jane

and tell her exactly what I think of her.

Park 1296.

No, sir. Mrs. Sterol has just gone out.

One moment, sir. I'll write it down.

Maurice Duclot.

Park.

Oh, no.

No, sir. Mrs. Sterol has just gone out.

Oh, one moment, sir. I'll write it down.

Maurice Duclot.

Park.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Park 229.

Bien, monsieur.

Je ne mon crepa.

Au revoir, monsieur.

Ehm.

I think perhaps it would be better if it was just a band in the kitchen.

Yes, sir.

Where is Mrs. Sterol?

She's just come out, sir.

Where has she gone?

I don't know, sir.

Ah, she's upstairs with Mrs. Banbury.

I expect to run up and tell her I've come back.

Yes, sir. What number is it?

Number five, two floors up.

Very good, sir.

Good heavens.

Have you been out all night?

Yes.

Lucky for you, I left Willie in Winchester.

Oh, you did, did you? Why?

Oh, he had rather a growl last night.

Don't forgive my saying, sir.

Your husband is a fool.

I have always found him extremely intelligent.

Where have you been?

Mind your own business.

Well, don't jump down my throat.

It is quite harmless, question.

I object to your dictatorial term.

Yes, but I come in by that at 11 o'clock in the morning, isn't it?

If I choose to come in naked on a tricycle, it is no affair of yours.

Where's Julia?

I don't know. She went out before I arrived.

Out where?

Time to find Stadia.

I thought she was probably with you.

Mrs. Banbury, sir.

Oh.

Don't look so startled, sir.

And as you left the door open, so I walked in.

At what time did Mrs. Sterol go out?

Just before you came in, sir.

With a gentleman.

Oh, what?

Who was it?

I don't know, sir.

He didn't leave any name.

What was he like?

About medium height, madam.

And doc.

Doc, was he?

What was the matter?

I'm extremely sorry for you, Fred.

Extremely sorry.

That would do well.

Very good enough.

Now, what does this mean?

What's all the mystery?

No, there is no mystery.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What's all the mystery?

No, there is no mystery.

I'm afraid it is all perfectly clear.

Day him tell me the truth.

I couldn't possibly jul you, maybe.

Double-faced treacherous entirely, amirall.

But she was my friend.

Oh, I see.

So you had a round last night, too.

Yes, we did.

What about you?

I don't know.

Julia's felt rather interstically.

And you know where she's gone now?

Oh, I have a shrewd suspicion, but my lips...

No.

What's the matter now?

So she knew all the time.

You won.

How dare she?

How dare she?

Oh, it's contemptible.

To be deceived in such a sword in Mannequin's best friend.

Yeah, what's this?

Oh, don't talk to me.

Your womb, what does this mean?

It means that Julia has deserted you.

She's gone off with his French men Maurice Stu close.

She's known for years long before you were married.

But Jane, are you married?

Oh, no.

I'm perfectly sane.

You don't surely expect me to believe that Julia would leave me suddenly without rhyme or me.

Anything she has in a single spoople or a pang of conscience anywhere.

She lies the four teeth, mother.

She's a thoroughed and out bad last year.

You just helped together.

You know perfectly well.

You like that better than anyone else in the world.

She's probably as eating just as bad as you are at this very moment.

No, no, no, no.

She's far too busy.

Please, then show yourself.

Oh, I came back and even before I went home because I wanted to make up with her.

I'd rather beastly nightle by myself in a hotel in Bayswater.

Oh, why on earth, Bayswater?

Because the taxi man took me there.

Oh, Fred, I'll tell you everything.

Oh, Julia and I were both drunk.

And before we were married we both had an affair with the same man.

He's come to London and Julia and I were terrified that would fall in love with him again.

So we worked ourselves up and we waited and then after Dilla Julia got grand and ordered me out of the house.

So I pretended I was going straight to him and I went to the Grandville Hotel Bayswater.

What's he there?

Oh, no, of course not. He's with Julia.

I don't believe a word to this.

Here's his name on the telephone pad and Sonders saw them go out together.

And you say you both knew him before you were married?

Yes, Fred.

And you both, um...

Yes, Fred.

Well, don't just sit there and say yes, Fred.

Well, it's true, Fred.

You won't call me your dreadful matter-of-fact callousness.

Yes, Fred. Oh, my God.

Oh, damn, it's so melodramatic.

Melodramatic? It's horrible. All four.

I suppose you feel proud of yourself having led Julia and this blagards clutching.

Led her? That's funny.

Yes, led her. Don't liberically. You got her to prove mine.

You are unsufferable and pompous.

I am going to find her and you are coming with me.

Oh, no. Thank you. I've had quite enough of Julia to last me the rest of my life.

Oh.

I can't go like this.

You have to.

You take your hands off me.

Melodram, help!

Julia! Where you be?

So it was you who went out with Julia?

Good morning, Jane.

Julia, I've done something.

Oh! I'm not in the least surprised.

How did you get up here?

I caught the early treasure.

Julia, I haven't been where you thought at all.

I've been all by myself in a hotel in Bayeswater.

What? I came back here to find you and I found Fred.

Sondra said she'd seen you go out with a man.

I found this on the telephone, Pat.

Hurry. What are we here to do?

Jane, I think it's only fair to tell you that I've told Willie everything.

I've told Fred a good deal too.

Well, what has Julia told you?

About Jane and Sam Sniveling Frenchman in Venice.

Epicrit?

What did Jane tell you?

All right, Julia and Sam Frenchman in Fiza.

I shall never, never speak to you again.

It's not true. It's all a joke. We were all making it up.

She's lying. Julia, tell me the truth.

Certainly I will. It's all perfect here at the table.

Jane and I have been faithful to you always.

Before marriage?

Well, we couldn't really be faithful to you before we met, could we?

Is this Frenchman's story true?

Jane, Jane forgive me. Forgive me for everything.

We've got to stand together now. They're both going to be perfectly me-slee.

Willie, listen to me.

Fred, you must listen to me.

Miss your Maurice Duclot.

Oh, Julia, I'll press settle. Can I miss you?

Jane! Oh, she's not something.

I love you, Miss your Jane.

Willie, I'd like to present Miss you Maurice Duclot. My husband.

Good morning. How do you do?

Maurice, this is my husband.

Oh, how do you do? I had no idea. I haven't seen Julia for so long.

When did you lastly get?

I beg your pardon.

Shut up, Willie. You speak wonderful English now.

Yes, seven years. It seems like yesterday.

Do you think we've changed?

Oh, not at all. I have met your wife abroad years ago.

So strange renewing old friendships.

Damned change.

Willie. I should like to have a little chat with you, Miss you Duclot.

There are several things I won't explain.

Shall be charmed.

No, I can't stand it any longer.

You were right at a very opportune moment.

We've just discovered...

Maurice, let me explain.

You see, our husbands have only just this moment discovered that Jane and you and I were great friends in Italy seven years ago.

They're naturally rather upset. I must apologize for their silly behavior.

And it has succeeded me only in wildest dreams, isn't it?

Oh, it was cruel of you to ask me here this morning without warning me.

It would serve you right if I gave you away.

You need in trouble. They've already done that to themselves.

Please, please, let me tell them the truth.

It places me in such an embarrassing position.

Yes, Maurice. Please do tell them the truth.

I'm going mad.

I'm afraid. We already know the truth. There's nothing more to be said.

Do you love your wife, Miss here?

Mind your own business. What do you mean? What do you get it got?

I have your permission to speak.

Yes, yes.

Well, I'm afraid it has all been rather what you would call a put-up job.

Put-up job?

Yes, I have known Jane and Julia for quite a long while.

We're great friends. They confide in me.

The hell they do.

Oh, Miss here, it would make it much easier if you were not so angry.

I'll give you my word. There's nothing to worry about.

I'm Daniel. Think, sir.

But I am afraid we have a rather different set of values in England.

Yeah, sure.

No, not just remark, Miss here, but not very much to the point.

And what is the point?

I have no suspicion of across your minds that here in England, the husbands take their wives a little too much for granted sometimes.

So they ought.

Well, it's very dull for the wives.

In France, it's all arranged differently.

There are so many diversions.

What are you trying to say?

Well, perhaps Jane and Julia require a little more attention than you prepared to give.

And, Robbie?

It's not rubbish, is it Julia? Certainly not.

You've been married for how long, was you?

Five years, is it not?

What I want to know is whether this resulting story is true. Is it or isn't it?

Of course it isn't. Jane, Julia and myself, we made a plan.

Get me pettin' us.

Well, you see, five years brings one to rather critical, matrimonial period as a rule.

Everything seems slightly goag, the first romance is over.

Our plan was to rouse you up to a sense of your responsibilities.

Extremely kind of your...

Oh, don't go on being cross anymore, Fred. It's all such ridiculous nonsense.

I do not attend this at all.

Well, you see, we've all muddled in all so much.

We've all muddled in all so much. We'd rather you've muddled it by appearing.

Suddenly, just like that, is taking all the wind out of our sails.

You see, Jane was going to break it to Fred, that I had run off with Maurice.

And I was going to break it to Willy, that she had run off with Maurice.

But you spoiled it all by appearing before we were probably rehearsed.

It's all such a ridiculous nonsense, please forgive us.

Look, how long have you been in England? Oh, three weeks.

Well, such what were hinting at yesterday morning when you said that you had a presentment

that I didn't love you anymore?

No.

Yes! Don't you see? She was paving the way. That's what she was doing.

I sound shush anymore. It's all so stupid. And you were right. It's clear the air.

They were much too short of this much, much, much.

Maurice, would you like a drink? I'm afraid Fred's still too flurried to be hospitable.

Terrible, sorry. It never struck me. Whisking, sir. No, no, no.

I really only came in for a minute. I've taken the flat above for one year.

What?

Ha!

And Jillian Jane promised to help me choose an attractive cotron for my curtains.

Did we? Oh, yes, will we? Pull yourself to get a Jane.

Perhaps you've all come and said it's a bit untidy at present. But you won't mind.

I'm afraid I have to go and trade.

Oh, they're standing for the pallet's bag at twelve o'clock.

Oh, we'll come now. No, look here, Julia.

Would you rather I didn't? No. No, well, perhaps not.

I must apologise for being so borish. It was all very puzzling.

Come on, Jane.

Oh, will you all answer with me today? It's Hadell being alone.

Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. We'll be delighted.

Look here, shut up, will you? Thank you, Fred. You're a darling.

Come along, Maurice. We won't be more than ten minutes, Fred, choosing the battle.

It's only cross, will it? But I do quite here while you're...

Oh, don't try to see any more.

Why are you an evening glist?

Well, you see, that was all part of the plan. You were supposed to come in and find me, dead drunk on the dance at all.

We were going to the house for morning!

You know, it's damn funny. It really is.

What? The way we arrived and spoke their little gaze.

Now, look here, Fred. I drink the things. You never know.

Jane and Julia will do next.

It's not what they'll do next. It's what they did last.

I don't think that Frenchmen's at all about you. I wouldn't trust him an inch.

How are the lies they told?

You seemed to have completely wiped it from your mind, the whole thing.

Well, I never believed Julia when she told me that lurid story about Italy.

It still seems quiet to me. I mean, even if their scheme had worked, what good would it have done them?

Made us jealous.

Don't be an abget fool, Fred. He was bluffing us.

The whole damn thing's too over beginning to end. I'm short of it.

Why?

Well, I've never seen Jane so upset and it's terrible in my life. She must be upset about something.

Are you serious?

Yes, I am. And do realize we'd let them both go up to his flat. Alone?

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.

I'm short of it.