Original subtitles

Marie, here, hi!

Testing. Richard, can you hear me?

Test, one, two.

- One, two, yes. - Mm-hm.

Shh, shh. Shh, shh.

Anytime.

Mm.

What's happening?

Yeah, I know. I know. I know.

Richard, anytime.

Push me.

Sorry--Sorry?

Push me.

More.

Mm!

Bravo!

Attend the Lords of France and Burgundy, Gloucester--

...and let not women's weapons,

water-drops, stain my man's cheeks!

"No, you unnatural--"

No!

You unnatural hags!

"I will have such--"

I will have such revenges on you both!

- Caviar? - Smile to the camera.

So good.

Can I get a picture?

One photo, please.

It never gets any easier, does it, darling?

- Uh... - Ah.

Certainly never gets any easier to watch.

What does that mean?

The actress playing Goneril.

That was an accent, right?

Yes. Norwegian.

Mm! Was that not a problem?

Was that not pointed out as a problem?

I mean, I don't mean to be politically incorrect,

but, what, did King Lear adopt?

It took me out of the play.

Took me right out of the play.

As did the set.

No--Oh, not what I would've done.

Well, we couldn't afford you.

- Not what I would've done. - Could we?

Well, overall, though, you liked it?

And by "it," I mean, you know who.

Darling, you were wonderful.

The director should just get down on his knees and...

I wasn't pushing?

Not at all. You--

There was no effort.

That's what was so effective.

You look so weak and sapped and--

and broken.

You made me cry.

I'm sure anyone with a heart

cried at the sight of that.

Hm...

I--I know you don't read reviews...

- No. No! - But--Yeah. No, no, I--

- Polly! I will not-- - No--I--have to. I have--

Raves! Can you believe it?

Raves across the board.

- Except for The New York Times. - Even The Times.

- Yeah, uh-- - I don't believe you.

- No. - Ah, what is his name?

- Xerxes? - Xander.

- Xander Young. - Xander... Young. Yeah.

I just-- I only skimmed the review,

but he-- he clearly loved it.

He said you were the anchor.

- The anchor? Wow. - Yeah.

He--Mm.

He has--he hasn't liked me in ten years.

He has not.

- No. - Here's to small victories.

Bastard.

Can we go somewhere quiet?

I can't bear this music.

You know, we can talk about,

you know, the play and...

- No, no, no. - ...my performance.

Darling, you cannot depend on your ex-wife

for your social life.

Anyway, I'm here with David.

David, my colorist?

No. God, no!

Divorce lawyer David.

It's not a date.

He wanted to see the play.

I didn't want to come alone.

David!

Uh, David...

- Well, what a pleasure. Hi. - Richard!

That was a really excellent play.

Yes.

I have no idea how you remember all those lines.

Don't say that. David, only idiots say that.

Look at the time. Wow.

I--I have a-- I've got a--

Oh, oh, oh--Richard--

You see-- You see what you've done?

- I'm sorry. - Easy. Slow down, cowboy.

- Take it easy, darling. - Okay, I will.

Hello, everybody.

Table for Xander Young.

Mr. Young!

We have your table ready for you.

Right this way.

Here you are. Enjoy.

Yeah...

Mm, Xander Young.

- Yes. - Richard Bean.

I heard you liked my "Lear."

I agree with you.

I'm glad we're on the same page at last.

- I can't talk to you. - Wh--why not?

I can't talk to you about what I write.

I'm afraid there are very strict rules.

Journalistic ethics.

Ooh, well, I just wanted to swing by and tell you that, uh,

I appreciate your support.

I've waited a long time for it,

but if the truth be told,

I haven't been a fan of your writing

for quite some time.

But I'm starting to like it now.

- Did you read the review? - Troy--

No, I had it summarized for me.

He loved the production. He didn't like you.

- Troy... - I'm a little confused because

he liked the production,

but he--he didn't like the Lear?

I don't think that's possible.

Do you know how much shit he has to sit through every week?

- Troy, we do not engage. - We are not engaging, Xander.

I am engaging, okay?

I saw the show, too.

- And? - Lifeless, passionless.

Uh, you know-- I'm trying to process this.

I was told...

that he said I was the anchor.

Like an anchor.

Dragging the whole thing down.

That's very different.

- We can't discuss this. - No, of course not.

You can only slander me in print,

but not to my face.

It's not slander. It's an opinion.

It's not an opinion.

It's a megaphone.

I have an opinion.

- I think... - Troy.

Troy is too young for you,

but I'm not gonna write a piece about it

in The New York Times because that would be rude.

Do you know he used to love you?

He still talks about your Hamlet

at some little theater in Pennsylvania.

Wait a minute.

You came and saw my Hamlet at the MFT?

He wanted to see this kid that everyone was talking about,

and he thought that he'd seen the future of American theater.

We're leaving.

But that Richard Bean is long gone.

And now you're here, on your own opening night,

a sad old man drinking alone.

- Troy. - A man more lost and defeated

than King fucking Lear.

There, I just summarized the review for you.

- You're welcome. - Come.

Nnn...

No!

What the fuck?

You unnatural hags!

No regrets.

- Were you drunk? - No.

- Were you high? - No.

What I was was justifiably, uh, miffed

at a, uh, dismissive, cruel review,

uh, from a third-rate critic.

And that's why you attacked him and his husband

and called them "unnatural hags"?

That's a quote from the play.

Great. There is a whole subreddit,

whatever the fuck that is,

about you being a homophobe.

Someone called it gay-bashing.

I'm a Broadway actor, okay?

I'm--I'm--I'm as gay as a man can be

without actually being gay.

You know what I'm saying?

So you don't know. You weren't there.

No, I wasn't.

Luckily, there's video.

Okay.

But they shall be the terrors of the earth.

You look deranged.

King Lear is quite deranged at this point in the play.

I see.

Get away from me!

Behold! I have a weapon!

Go.

Get off of me!

Richard Bean!

Why is the table on fire?

I don't know. I don't know.

I must have left before any first responders showed up.

This is a viral shitshow, Richard.

Because it's taken out of context.

I mean, I'm not saying it's a deepfake.

But could we say it's a deepfake?

Nah. I'm gonna lean into the drugs and booze angle.

- Oh, good. - I'll put out statements.

Yeah, but not an apology.

Oh, you're filled with remorse and regret and shame.

I'm not filled with any of those.

I told a critic the truth.

I have no remorse. I feel no shame.

I'm a little embarrassed

by the fact that I did launch

into a verse of "Edelweiss"

because I was trying to defuse the situation.

But apologies, regret?

Mm-mm, no.

So you write whatever you want to write.

I don't care.

I have to go to the theater.

- Why? - Because I--

I thought maybe I'd do a matinee of King Lear.

- What the fuck? - No, Richard.

You have no matinee.

You have no evening performance either.

The producers are putting you on hiatus,

a forced hiatus while I clear this shit up.

But I have to be on that stage.

Every performance-- people are gonna think--

What? That you had some kind of public breakdown?

Well, you did, Richard.

You had a small involuntary mental collapse,

which I'm going to say was caused

by mixing booze with medication you were taking for back pain.

I'm gonna need a month to clear this up, maybe two.

In the meantime, leave.

- Leave? - As in go somewhere else.

And I don't mean Brooklyn.

I mean like a remote island.

Another country, another state at the very least.

So I'm being banished from Broadway

for, what, entertaining people.

That's what I do!

Okay.

- Hello. - Mom's dead.

- Who's this? - Jon.

- Jon who? - Your brother.

Oh, hi--Hi, Jon.

This is my brother.

Did you say Mom's dead?

Yes.

Did she read the review?

He's coming tomorrow.

He cannot go to the theater. Promise me.

Well, what do you want me to say?

I don't know. Say anything.

Say it's being fumigated.

It's tented. Lie.

Lie?

Why did you have to tell him?

Why did I tell him his mother died?

He has not seen her in three years.

The only person that cares about is himself. You know that.

He just beat up a critic. It's all over the Internet.

It's literally the most narcissistic thing

a person can do.

I will deal with him.

I can't even handle his crap right now.

He's going to come back here.

He's gonna intone all over the place.

Just in case you forgot, we are so financially fucked.

- What is that? - A "Bizou"?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You cannot--you cannot ply me with alcohol.

Come on.

God, I feel so bad for your dad.

I know you do.

Oh, sweet Jesus, I don't know how you do it.

It's about how you express the lemon.

Mm-hm!

How the two of you came from the same parents,

I will never understand.

Richard has to pay for the funeral.

- I'll ask him. - No, no. You will tell him.

You will look him in the eye...

Just--

Keep him away from the theater.

- Hey, pal. - Oh.

Good you're here.

- Glad to be here. - Hey, I got this.

Oh, thanks.

I'm over--over here.

- Wow. - Changed a bit, huh?

God, look at this.

Everything. Everything's closed.

Yeah, well, times are tough.

Struggling, you know, like everywhere else.

Still feels like home.

I'd love to swing by the theater.

No, no, that's not the--

- Let's go to Dad's. - Just for a minute.

I have to stand on that stage.

You know, I need the inspiration.

Hey, let--No, Richard, let's just, you know,

let's focus on Mom and Dad today, okay?

Come on. I'll take you home.

- Okay. - You can get settled.

Sure. You're right. Yeah.

I'm glad she went quickly.

No, she didn't, actually.

No, she was sick for a while.

Well, I just saw her last spring.

No.

Yes, I brought her that ostrich egg from Harrods.

No, no, that was three years ago.

- Three years. - No, but--

- Three years ago. Yeah. - Three years?

Three years. This is me.

How's Dad taking it?

Well, he's, uh...

coping.

You know, it's hard.

Listen.

We need help with the funeral.

Oh, I'll take care of it.

I'll stage something theatrical but discreet.

Death will be the theme, but it can't be all about death.

It'll also be uplifting but appropriately depressing.

Music has to be there. Quintet, maybe.

I meant paying for it.

I know it's asking a lot and I hate doing it, but...

maybe it'll help you with the guilt I hope you're feeling

for not having seen her in all this time.

All right.

Hey, here. Here you go.

- You're not coming in? - No, I would.

But look, I got a crazy afternoon.

Miranda's there. She'll set you up.

Miranda. Great.

Spends a lot of time with Dad. It's like two peas, those two.

It's--it's nice.

- She'll love seeing you. - And I her.

Hey, hey, come by tonight.

- I'll make you dinner. - Oh, great.

I'll stop by the theater on the way.

Yeah-- No, don't--don't do that.

Just spend time with Dad.

Okay? I'll come by and get you.

- Great. - Oh, and, Richard...

don't tell dad about the, uh, the thing with Mom.

- What thing? - The death thing.

That she's dead. He doesn't know.

He d--

Won't he--won't he sort of figure that out,

when he sees her in the coffin?

Just don't, okay?

It'll upset him. He won't know how to process it.

And this is a longer conversation.

Just--he'll love seeing you, okay?

Just enjoy each other.

- Okay. - I'll see you later.

Dad.

Miranda?

Miranda.

Dad?

Dad?

Jon, you sound like a woman.

Speak from the diaphragm!

It's Richard.

Richard, my son! My star!

Come on up. Wait. I'll put something on.

I don't want to frighten you.

Dad?

You're home. Wow.

Look at you.

Oh, wow.

I'm a mess.

I didn't know you were coming.

I wanted to surprise you.

You have been working very hard, I see.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Look at this gentleman here.

Who is he?

No, I know it's hard without the hair.

It's, uh--

You did his Earnest at MFT.

Oh, Christ. Oscar Wilde.

You see?

Yeah. Dad, I'm sorry I've been away so long.

Well, you're here now.

Sit.

You were only 23-years old when you did it.

Earnest, I mean.

That was the same year as we did Much Ado.

So have you two tied the knot yet?

- We two? - You and Kristen.

Uh, Kristen is married to Jon.

But how does that work with both of you in New York?

She's here. I'm in New York.

This tapioca pudding.

So tell us...

how are things on The Great White Way?

Oh, they're--they're great.

In fact, I just opened there in King Lear.

Lear?

Did you hear that, Bill?

"Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life?

And thou no breath at all.

Thou shalt come no more.

Never, never, never. Never, never, never."

How were the reviews?

They were--

All raves. Raves.

Do you remember our Lear?

You as Edmund, Jon as Edgar?

You boys were terrific.

And Ethel as Regan.

She was terrifying.

I built a theater, best in the country.

But this is what I'm most proud of.

My eldest, my artist.

And if I play my cards right,

I'll talk him into doing another play here with me soon,

the two of us together again.

You think about that.

I will, I will.

There's something that I want to say.

And I don't want you...

to respond to it.

I just want you to sit there and listen to me.

Sure.

Boy, this is--

This is harder than I thought it would be

and I don't know why.

Here it goes.

I'm gay.

- Oh. - I'm a gay man.

I was always a gay man,

but I just never allowed myself to be one.

But now, in the twilight of my years,

I'm motivated to tie up loose ends.

Now, I want you to understand

that this is not the dementia talking.

Okay.

I'm gay. I'm a gay man. I've always been a gay man.

But now, in-- in my twilight years, I--

Didn't I say that already?

You did, Dad, yeah.

That's the dementia.

Well, that's wonderful, Dad.

I'm so happy for you.

I knew you would understand!

Have you told Jon yet?

Oh, hell no. I can't tell him anything.

He worries.

He thinks I'm losing my mind.

Oh, there's one more thing.

You must promise me something, Richard.

You must promise me.

I--I--What?

You won't tell your mother.

I won't.

Uncle Richard?

Oh.

- Miranda. - Oh, my God.

Oh, you're all grown up.

Don't cry.

Don't--No, no, no, no, please.

If you start crying, I'll start crying.

I know, I know.

I just miss her.

Well, we all do. Yes, I know.

God, I'm so glad you're here.

Are you okay?

Well, you know, she had a good life.

No, I meant with the review

and the whole thing with the critic.

Oh, that. Yes, well, uh, um--

You know, I'm kind of surprised it actually

didn't happen after the Beckett

I actually managed to repress that one.

Yeah, thanks for reminding me.

How do you know about all that?

Mom forwards me all your reviews.

Really? What's that about?

She's trying to discourage me, I think.

- From what? - Being happy, I guess.

I never had more fun than when I went to visit you in New York.

Nana would take me to see your shows.

You came a lot. Yes, didn't you?

Wait a minute. You were a child.

What were you, eight, when you came to see Virginia Woolf?

I was so scared, but I loved it.

I loved all of it.

All the actors and shows and the parties.

It was magic.

How many of my shows did you actually see?

- A lot. - Really?

Yeah. 'Cause that was the one place she saw you.

She had to die for you to come back.

Don't say that.

That's--

That's not true.

It is true. I'm an asshole.

- Only sometimes. - Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Anyway, I think I want to live in New York.

Oh.

I remember you said if I want to be an actress,

I should be there.

- And I can help you. - Really?

I mean, I--

There are calls I can make, strings I can pull.

Maybe not as many strings as before?

I saw the video.

"Behold, I have a weapon."

Maybe.

But still, don't rush to New York.

You've got a perfect opportunity right here in Millersburg.

You've got a theater in your backyard.

It's where I learned everything I know about acting

at the Millersburg Festival Theater.

It was the perfect place to start a career.

When I played Hamlet,

the acoustics and such-- whatever it is,

it's magical because it was--

It was a communal experience. You know what I mean?

Have you been to the theater?

Not yet.

You should go.

♪ Put aside your worries ♪

♪ You won't have a care ♪

♪ When the doorbell rings ♪

♪ And the matzo man is there ♪

♪ It's no wonder ♪

♪ He gets so gets So many calls ♪

♪ No one can resist My matzo balls ♪

Yeah!

♪ He's The matzo, matzo, matzo man ♪

♪ You'll fall in love With the matzo man ♪

♪ Matzo, matzo, matzo man ♪

♪ He's a lotsa Hotsa muscle with a matzo pan ♪

Whoo!

♪ He's The matzo, matzo, matzo man ♪

♪ Every Jewish home Needs a matzo man ♪

♪ And let it not be said He ignores us nuns ♪

+ ♪ I'm almost Catholic With my hot crossed buns ♪

♪ He's the M-A-T-Z-O-M-A-N ♪

♪ Matzo, matzo, matzo, matzo ♪

♪ Matzo ball, matzo ball, Matzo ball, matzo ball ♪

♪ Matzo ball, matzo man ♪

- Whoo! - Whoo-hoo!

Yeah! Give me some of that matzo!