All language subtitles for hope.and.faith.s03e04.hdtv-lol

Oh, it's fun.

We should go to the spa together more
often.

Yep. Nothing says happy awkward birthday
like a bikini wax with your mom.

Hey, isn't that your Aunt Faith?

She is the only person I know with a
kill -animals -love -fur -bumper

so... Poor thing.

She was still in bed when I left the
house this morning.

That breakup with Goo just really hit
her hard.

Does she look upset to you?

Well, all I can see is the back of her
head.

I know, but she really wears her
emotions in her hair.

I'll just call her.

What did she answer my call?

You know what, Mom?

Relax. I bet that she's just not getting
good reception here or something. I'll

try her on my phone.

Oh, hey, Sid. What's up?

Not much.

What's up with you?

I'm sorry, Sidney. Could you say that
again? Some moron behind me was honking.

to call me for dinner? Mrs. Bencher's
cat just keeled over.

Well, I suppose I could just call you on
your cell and tell you dinner's ready.

But who knows if you'll answer?

What do you mean?

You didn't answer when I called today.

You called today?

Huh. My phone's been on the fritz. Oh,
remember Fritz Barton? I wonder if he

ever got that kidney.

Don't change the subject!

I saw you look at your phone and not
answer.

Oh. Well, I was driving, Hope. You know
how distracted I get when I talk and

drive. Or talk and walk.

Okay. You answered Sidney's call not two
seconds later.

Okay. What is it with you and your
perpetual quest for using the facts to

a point?

Look, I just wasn't in the greatest of
moods today, as you may have noticed by

my hair.

And I knew... that if I answered your
call that you would make me talk about

On the other hand, I knew that Sidney
and I would probably just talk about

casual stuff.

What do you mean, casual stuff? You
know, like gossip or nail polish or sex.

And how wrong it is.

Look, I was just checking on you because
I know how down you've been since the

breakup with the Gooch.

I know you are, Hope.

But right now, I really just want to
handle the breakup.

By myself.

Fair enough.

No more questions about the breakup.

It's not just the breakup, Hope.

Seems like lately you've been nagging me
about everything.

My love life, my parking tickets, my
career.

Faith, if a career falls in the
forest...

Faith and Hope, you're a fixer. That's
what you do. You fix

things. And I'm your favorite project.

To you, I'm just a lab rat with flawless
skin.

That is so not true.

Do you guys think I'm always trying to
fix Faith's life?

I mean, you and me, oh, yeah.

I see.

So, what, do you think I enjoy cleaning
up your messes all the time?

I think you live for it. Oh, please,
that is just ridiculous.

Whatever you say.

Oh, darn, now my dinner.

Oh, here. Let me nude that for you. Ha
-ha!

That is it. I am done helping you out.

Fine. Fine.

Oh, but could you come up to my room
later and help me hang a picture?

Sure. Dance, puppet, dance!

Oh.

Poker Zeus 34.

You are so bluffing.

I'm all in, baby.

A straight flush? Damn!

Should have seen it in your beady little
typing.

I'm with the patient.

Hey, honey.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Well, normally I'd be having lunch with
Faith.

But since I don't have to follow her
around anymore, putting out her little

fires... I can finally get some extra
time with my husband.

I'm so happy to see you.

We haven't had a lunch together since
the Friday before Faith moved in.

You know, I never realized how much time
she takes up. But those days are over.

Great. I've been craving chili cheese
fries all morning.

Good thing we brought two cars.

Anyway, I have something even better.

Pounded skinless chicken breast.

And food fries.

They're made from tofu.

Doctor's orders.

Your arteries will thank me later.

It's about me not cleaning out the
basement because I was going to get to

Ashley, I was thinking we could storm
the basement together.

I even bought some of those jars so we
could separate your screws and nails.

Won't that be fun?

That depends.

You're going to be naked?

I noticed the aquarium in the waiting
room was a little murky.

The sign that says Melbourne, 6 ,000
miles, you can barely read it.

Well, I think that kind of helps with
the deep sea mystique.

Yeah, but it's not good for the fish.

Well, the fish aren't really swimming to
Melbourne.

That's not the point.

I can tell exactly how someone's going
to take care of my teeth by the way he

takes care of his aquatic environment.

So, the first thing I think we should do
is go out and get one of those, you

know, algae brushes and scrub that tank
like good.

And then I thought we could get one of
those little pirate figurines that waves

when the bubbles go by.

Kids just love pirates. And it doubles
as a filter.

And then we just have to agree that the
gravel, it just needs some refreshing.

Thanks for helping me with my checkbook,
Haley.

I actually need to practice. It's been a
while since I've done basic

subtraction.

Usually your mom does it for me, but all
I ever hear is, who spends $300 on a

pair of jeans?

Except she calls them dungarees. That
really makes my skin crawl.

Hey, if you're subtracting, how come the
amount in my account keeps getting

bigger?

Because it's negative.

then I'd better write myself a check to
cover it.

Hi.

Hey, Mom.

Faith. Hope.

So, not that I really care, but I
noticed those parking tickets are still

your car.

Oh, you don't have to remind me, Hope. I
can remember all by myself.

Once I hit 15 miles an hour, they start
flapping around like an angry peacock.

Just as long as you know that they're
there.

Of course you know that they're there.

You always pay your parking tickets on
time.

And you certainly don't need my help.

Well, look at you, just itching to help
me out. You're dying to pay my parking

ticket.

No, I'm not. You know, I should let you
help me figure out where I'm supposed to

send these things just so you can have
your fix.

It's right on the back of the ticket.
Don't help me, junkie.

I have much better things to do with my
time than not help you.

By the way, nice dungarees.

Beautiful shot.

Looks like Charlie, she announced he's
got Tiger Woods by the tail. You know, a

lot of people don't know, but Charlie is
also... Hey, buddy, can you keep it

down? This is kind of all I have in
life.

Sorry.

Sad, lonely fan.

Don't you just hate to see that, Steve?

Honey, keep your head down.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just thought we could spend some
time together.

Oh, you're just popping up all over my
day, aren't you, sweetheart?

First my morning jog and now here.

Where were you when I was in the shower?

I just had to get out of the house.

Faith's been driving me crazy trying to
prove she doesn't need me.

So I thought I'd, you know, blow off
some steam by hitting some pills.

Blasting a couple of pellets.

Where'd you learn to talk like that?

Guy at the pro shop.

You want to hand me your driver?

It's time to let the big dog eat.

I don't like this.

See, honey, I think the problem is...

You're not keeping your lower body
quiet.

And then you're losing your grip on your
fall.

Wow, she really crushed that thing. Shut
up.

Remember, fall through.

Honey, I have been playing golf since I
was in my teens.

I think I know what I'm doing.

Is that why that groundskeeper just dove
into the bushes?

You know, if you want me to, I can come
by any time you're here and

give you a couple of pointers.

That'll be just super.

Your sister is driving me nuts.

She is out of control.

She's trying to fix my golf swings,
trying to spruce up the fish tank in my

office, and she's got me wearing boxers.

And I'm all over the place.

So now you know how it feels.

About hope, I mean. I don't wear
underwear.

You have got to get her out of my hair.
I need you to need her again.

Well, I just don't.

I'm sorry, Charlie, but I'm not going to
have my sister following me around like

some understudy waiting for me to break
my leg. Well, you know what?

Tonight's my big night. Now I'm going
on.

Yeah, okay, I don't know what you're
talking about.

Are you going to help me or not?

No way.

Please, I don't know if I can take
another day of this.

First... She was just fixing things. But
now, now she wants to spend all her

free time with me. And that is not what
I signed up for when I got married.

And why should I help you?

Because you live in my house rent -free.
You eat my food.

Please, you hardly know I'm here.

But there is something you could do for
me.

Name it.

As you know, independent people like
myself...

Have a lot of plates to spin.

And one of mine comes in the form of a
bunch of stupid unpaid parking tickets.

How stupid are we talking?

Give or take $262 .38.

Done. And a little walking around money.
Too late.

I'm so glad I finally convinced you to
splurge on the great barrier coral set.

I'm really glad after a long day at
work.

I get to spend these extra hours at the
office with you.

I got you a new fish.

I named her Goldie Floss.

Don't worry, I'll rename you later.

I have another great idea.

What do you think about putting some of
those neat colored footprints, you know,

on a trail to the bathroom?

And then at one point we can do two left
feet as an inside joke.

Two left feet.

Oh, God.

Oh, honey, can you get that for me?

Hey, it's Faith.

Look, oh, Faith's calling.

Hey, Faith.

You didn't pay your ticket so your car
was impounded?

That's awful.

Here's hope.

Impound what?

Inspired.

I'm sorry, Faith, but I'm really busy
right now. But I'm sure you can handle

this all on your own.

She hung up on me.

I'm sorry. No money, no car.

Here's the thing.

I brought the cash, but I accidentally
forgot the late fee.

And here's my thing. See, I'm really
smart, but I just accidentally work here

and... Not the Pentagon.

Look, you can see that I'm good for it,
just like I can see that you should be

working for the CIA, Usain.

He's once a proud name, that jerk.

I can't believe you just turned your
back on Faith.

Well, she said she didn't need my help,
so she's not getting my help.

But she's your sister.

Charlie, you've said so a thousand times
yourself.

Sooner or later, Faith is going to have
to learn to stand on her own two feet.

True, but what's the rush? I mean, what
if she does become more independent?

Next thing you know, she won't need us
at all.

She'll be able to support herself and
maybe even move out.

Now, is that what we really want?

What has gotten into you?

Nothing. Nothing?

No, no, no, no.

You have never wanted me to help Faith
out. What is going on? Nothing. What is

it? Why do you think something has to
be... Have you done something with your

hair? Yes.

Because it looked really... like
blonder.

Okay, fine.

I might have told...

Faith, to come up with a problem and ask
for your help, it's not blunder.

You look like an angel.

Why would you do that?

It's just that since you haven't been
spending any time with Faith, you've

of been focusing all your extra energy
on me.

Really.

So now you think I'm fixing you too
much.

Luminous.

That's the word. Your hair looks
luminous. You know what?

I'm not going to help you out anymore
either.

You can go back to your musky tank water
and your spastic backswing and your we

are the world waiting room music.

What did you do to the waiting room
music? I knew it sounded weird in here.

Hey, everybody likes soft jazz.

trapped in your car.

Oh, vicious dogs. Of course.

Nice try.

Charlie already told me he put you up to
this.

You know what,

mister?

You want me out of here so bad? Fine.

You can just arrange your...

Let's not argue in front of the fish.

and a rabies shot?

Nice try. You ripped your clothes so you
would look like you were attacked.

Oh, my God.

You're hurt.

So you were really trapped?

And there was a dog?

Dog? Try dogs, plural.

Vicious.

I still hear the thwack, thwack, thwack
as they ran.

How could you not answer the phone?

I thought you said you didn't need my
help anymore.

Well, during the three -mile run home, I
had a moment of clarity.

So now you do need me.

but I was no match for the whole pack.

Always the same.

Ever since we were kids, I've always had
to bail you out of things.

Maybe I'm just lightheaded from the loss
of blood, but I think you're right.

You know, maybe sometimes I do need to
fix people, but that's only because I

grew up with somebody that always needed
fixing.

Okay, can I get some kind of painkiller
with this lecture?

Come on, Faith.

All right.

I suppose I am responsible for making
you the caring monster that you are

That's all I'm saying.

Aw, good.

You two made up.

Still miffed at you, though.

Fine.

At least I didn't waste eight bucks on
these.

Hey,

these only cost eight bucks.

I do a lot of dental work for the folks
down at Floral and Hardy.

I'm sorry about before.

Me too.

From now on, I'm not going to fix
anything for anybody unless they come to

first. Sounds good to me.

Oh, and you're going to have to change
that in a couple of hours.

But I'm not as good at it as you are.

Plus, I'll probably forget.

I'll do it.

Thanks. Oh, actually, honey, I could use
a little help with something, too.

What do you need? Give me back my tighty
-whities.

I can't do this anymore.

I feel like I'm on a high wire without a
safety net.