Original subtitles

What's up, techno sapiens? I'm Grace

What's up, techno sapiens? I'm Grace

What's up, techno sapiens? I'm Grace Coolish, but you can call me by my first

Coolish, but you can call me by my first

Coolish, but you can call me by my first screen name, The Color Purple 29,

screen name, The Color Purple 29,

screen name, The Color Purple 29, inspired by my favorite color unrelated

inspired by my favorite color unrelated

inspired by my favorite color unrelated to the film about domestic abuse. Sorry,

to the film about domestic abuse. Sorry,

to the film about domestic abuse. Sorry, Oprah. Anyway, this is Tech Yeah, where

Oprah. Anyway, this is Tech Yeah, where

Oprah. Anyway, this is Tech Yeah, where I tell CPU all about the biggest stories

I tell CPU all about the biggest stories

I tell CPU all about the biggest stories in tech. Let's begin with some news from

in tech. Let's begin with some news from

in tech. Let's begin with some news from a town I've been told I'll never work in

a town I've been told I'll never work in

a town I've been told I'll never work in again. Hollywood,

again. Hollywood,

again. Hollywood, where the city of angels just might be

where the city of angels just might be

where the city of angels just might be turning into the city of a angels. Two

turning into the city of a angels. Two

turning into the city of a angels. Two of the biggest stars in the world, Brad

of the biggest stars in the world, Brad

of the biggest stars in the world, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruz, apparently duking it

Pitt and Tom Cruz, apparently duking it

Pitt and Tom Cruz, apparently duking it out on the roof of a skyscraper. But

out on the roof of a skyscraper. But

out on the roof of a skyscraper. But it's completely fake, digitally created

it's completely fake, digitally created

it's completely fake, digitally created with AI technology. It's the video that

with AI technology. It's the video that

with AI technology. It's the video that has Hollywood freaking out.

has Hollywood freaking out.

has Hollywood freaking out. >> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL.

>> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL.

>> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL. >> HE WAS A GOOD MAN.

OKAY, THIS is crazy. I literally wrote a

OKAY, THIS is crazy. I literally wrote a

OKAY, THIS is crazy. I literally wrote a movie with that exact scene in it. Great

movie with that exact scene in it. Great

movie with that exact scene in it. Great minds, but I get why everyone in

minds, but I get why everyone in

minds, but I get why everyone in Hollywood is freaking out. This looked

Hollywood is freaking out. This looked

Hollywood is freaking out. This looked so real, right down to the glimmer of

so real, right down to the glimmer of

so real, right down to the glimmer of hope in Tom Cruz's eyes that this stunt

hope in Tom Cruz's eyes that this stunt

hope in Tom Cruz's eyes that this stunt would finally be the one that kills him.

would finally be the one that kills him.

would finally be the one that kills him. Of course, some haters are worried that

Of course, some haters are worried that

Of course, some haters are worried that it's going to destroy the entire film

it's going to destroy the entire film

it's going to destroy the entire film industry and ruin countless lives along

industry and ruin countless lives along

industry and ruin countless lives along the way. Well, you know what? That's

the way. Well, you know what? That's

the way. Well, you know what? That's what Hollywood gets for not casting me

what Hollywood gets for not casting me

what Hollywood gets for not casting me in sinners.

in sinners.

in sinners. Michael B. Jordan gets to be two people

Michael B. Jordan gets to be two people

Michael B. Jordan gets to be two people and I can't even be in one of the many

and I can't even be in one of the many

and I can't even be in one of the many Connolingus scenes.

Connolingus scenes.

Connolingus scenes. MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE.

MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE.

MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE. BUT IF you can't make it in Hollywood,

BUT IF you can't make it in Hollywood,

BUT IF you can't make it in Hollywood, you can always fall back on your second

you can always fall back on your second

you can always fall back on your second dream job.

dream job.

dream job. >> Whimo has come up with a low tech

>> Whimo has come up with a low tech

>> Whimo has come up with a low tech solution for a high-tech problem.

solution for a high-tech problem.

solution for a high-tech problem. Customers are leaving doors open after

Customers are leaving doors open after

Customers are leaving doors open after exiting the self-driving vehicles,

exiting the self-driving vehicles,

exiting the self-driving vehicles, making them inoperable. Whimo is now

making them inoperable. Whimo is now

making them inoperable. Whimo is now paying nearby door dashers to shut the

paying nearby door dashers to shut the

paying nearby door dashers to shut the open doors so the driverless cars can

open doors so the driverless cars can

open doors so the driverless cars can pick up their next passenger.

pick up their next passenger.

pick up their next passenger. >> Yes. It's just like they say when God

>> Yes. It's just like they say when God

>> Yes. It's just like they say when God closes a door, he can make six bucks on

closes a door, he can make six bucks on

closes a door, he can make six bucks on Door Dash.

Door Dash.

Door Dash. Look how awesome this is. Most people

Look how awesome this is. Most people

Look how awesome this is. Most people are stuck in an office all day, but you

are stuck in an office all day, but you

are stuck in an office all day, but you you get to drive around hunting for open

you get to drive around hunting for open

you get to drive around hunting for open car doors. And if you close enough of

car doors. And if you close enough of

car doors. And if you close enough of them, you get to eat dinner. The future

them, you get to eat dinner. The future

them, you get to eat dinner. The future is amazing.

is amazing.

is amazing. I'd be great at this job. I love closing

I'd be great at this job. I love closing

I'd be great at this job. I love closing things. Gates, trunks, coffins. I don't

things. Gates, trunks, coffins. I don't

things. Gates, trunks, coffins. I don't care if the funeral is open casket, your

care if the funeral is open casket, your

care if the funeral is open casket, your grandma is busted.

grandma is busted.

grandma is busted. Moving on because it's time for

Moving on because it's time for

Moving on because it's time for tonight's study that makes you go h

tonight's study that makes you go h

tonight's study that makes you go h tonight's study is all about this

dancing. If

dancing. If

dancing. If >> you wonder why some guys light up the

>> you wonder why some guys light up the

>> you wonder why some guys light up the dance floor while others look like

dance floor while others look like

dance floor while others look like they're swatting invisible flies,

they're swatting invisible flies,

they're swatting invisible flies, science may have the answer. In a study

science may have the answer. In a study

science may have the answer. In a study by North Umbrea University, volunteers

by North Umbrea University, volunteers

by North Umbrea University, volunteers danced for 30 seconds while motion

danced for 30 seconds while motion

danced for 30 seconds while motion sensors tracked every move. They were

sensors tracked every move. They were

sensors tracked every move. They were later turned into faceless 3D avatars to

later turned into faceless 3D avatars to

later turned into faceless 3D avatars to allow women to rank the routines. Men

allow women to rank the routines. Men

allow women to rank the routines. Men rated as good dancers showed more

rated as good dancers showed more

rated as good dancers showed more variety in upper body movement while

variety in upper body movement while

variety in upper body movement while repetitive moves and sip twisting scored

repetitive moves and sip twisting scored

repetitive moves and sip twisting scored near the bottom.

>> Thanks to this cuttingedge tech,

>> Thanks to this cuttingedge tech,

>> Thanks to this cuttingedge tech, scientists have confirmed what we

scientists have confirmed what we

scientists have confirmed what we already suspected. Women love men having

already suspected. Women love men having

already suspected. Women love men having seizures.

seizures.

seizures. My cousin has epilepsy and he is

My cousin has epilepsy and he is

My cousin has epilepsy and he is drowning in [\h__\h]

drowning in [\h__\h]

drowning in [\h__\h] And this data is very useful because now

And this data is very useful because now

And this data is very useful because now we know if you're a good dancer and

we know if you're a good dancer and

we know if you're a good dancer and can't get a date, you ugly brother.

can't get a date, you ugly brother.

can't get a date, you ugly brother. Of course, you can't just dance to

Of course, you can't just dance to

Of course, you can't just dance to attract women. You need to have the

attract women. You need to have the

attract women. You need to have the perfect pickup line as well. Luckily, I

perfect pickup line as well. Luckily, I

perfect pickup line as well. Luckily, I know just the one.

know just the one.

know just the one. >> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL.

>> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL.

>> YOU KILLED JEFFREY EPSTEIN, YOU ANIMAL. He was a good man.

He was a good man.

He was a good man. >> Yeah, that's a panty dropper. And

>> Yeah, that's a panty dropper. And

>> Yeah, that's a panty dropper. And speaking of underwear, if you like me

speaking of underwear, if you like me

speaking of underwear, if you like me love putting gadgets in all the wrong

love putting gadgets in all the wrong

love putting gadgets in all the wrong places, have I got a Tekken product for

places, have I got a Tekken product for

places, have I got a Tekken product for you.

you.

you. >> Researchers are looking for volunteers

>> Researchers are looking for volunteers

>> Researchers are looking for volunteers to put on a new type of smart underwear

to put on a new type of smart underwear

to put on a new type of smart underwear designed to track human flatulence and

designed to track human flatulence and

designed to track human flatulence and also stress test them. University of

also stress test them. University of

also stress test them. University of Maryland scientists say that the garment

Maryland scientists say that the garment

Maryland scientists say that the garment has a snap-in device which acts like a

has a snap-in device which acts like a

has a snap-in device which acts like a glucose monitor but for intestinal gas

glucose monitor but for intestinal gas

glucose monitor but for intestinal gas and it says that it could open the door

and it says that it could open the door

and it says that it could open the door to measuring gut microbiome metabolism.

Smell that? That is the smell of

Smell that? That is the smell of

Smell that? That is the smell of innovation

innovation

innovation and falafel. Sorry,

and falafel. Sorry,

and falafel. Sorry, but I love this product. Finally a way

but I love this product. Finally a way

but I love this product. Finally a way for health nuts to get in there 10,000

for health nuts to get in there 10,000

for health nuts to get in there 10,000 farts a day.

farts a day.

farts a day. Heck, I think I'll get two. One for the

Heck, I think I'll get two. One for the

Heck, I think I'll get two. One for the back and one to track my cooter tutors.

back and one to track my cooter tutors.

back and one to track my cooter tutors. I swear when those two get to yapping,

I swear when those two get to yapping,

I swear when those two get to yapping, I'M LIKE, "YOU GIRLS SHOULD START A

I'M LIKE, "YOU GIRLS SHOULD START A

I'M LIKE, "YOU GIRLS SHOULD START A PODCAST."

>> SO, what have we learned from this data

>> SO, what have we learned from this data

>> SO, what have we learned from this data so far? Previous studies asked people to

so far? Previous studies asked people to

so far? Previous studies asked people to estimate and they guessed between 10 to

estimate and they guessed between 10 to

estimate and they guessed between 10 to 15 times a day. Early testing has

15 times a day. Early testing has

15 times a day. Early testing has revealed something interesting. We found

revealed something interesting. We found

revealed something interesting. We found that people farted an average of 32

that people farted an average of 32

that people farted an average of 32 times per day.

times per day.

times per day. The average person farts 32 times a day.

The average person farts 32 times a day.

The average person farts 32 times a day. Imagine if you're an above average

Imagine if you're an above average

Imagine if you're an above average person. Like Beyonce must be farting

person. Like Beyonce must be farting

person. Like Beyonce must be farting 6,000 TIMES A DAY. WHAT a lucky horse.

6,000 TIMES A DAY. WHAT a lucky horse.

6,000 TIMES A DAY. WHAT a lucky horse. Now I know what you're thinking. I must

Now I know what you're thinking. I must

Now I know what you're thinking. I must be part of this study. Well, bad news

be part of this study. Well, bad news

be part of this study. Well, bad news because due to overwhelming demand,

because due to overwhelming demand,

because due to overwhelming demand, enrollment in the fart tracking study is

enrollment in the fart tracking study is

enrollment in the fart tracking study is currently paused.

currently paused.

currently paused. But lucky for you, I'm conducting my own

But lucky for you, I'm conducting my own

But lucky for you, I'm conducting my own study. All you have to do is email me

study. All you have to do is email me

study. All you have to do is email me every time you fart at the

every time you fart at the

every time you fart at the colorpurps.com.

Well, that's all for this edition of

Well, that's all for this edition of

Well, that's all for this edition of Tech Yeah. Tune in next time when we

Tech Yeah. Tune in next time when we

Tech Yeah. Tune in next time when we debate which one of these pictures has a

debate which one of these pictures has a

debate which one of these pictures has a motorcycle in it. If I get this wrong,

motorcycle in it. If I get this wrong,

motorcycle in it. If I get this wrong, it's over for me.