Original subtitles

- Iraq, millions of people displaced.

Hundreds of thousands of children killed,

others forced to flee for their lives.

That is the reality of life

for the people of this country since the invasion.

It's not safe.

Do you understand? It's not safe.

The regime may well change

for the better,

but the people of Iraq

will suffer the aftershocks of war

for many years to come.

This is Kate Rafter reporting from Baghdad.

- Shall we play

...three, four, five.

Wonder where he is...

is he...?

Gotcha!

No!

Nidal!

- Kate?

Where did you go just then?

Would you like me to close the blind?

When did you get back from Baghdad?

-This has nothing to do with Baghdad, Doctor.

-How's your sleep?

-Like any war correspondent.

-So, you suffer from nightmares?

Shall we talk about that?

-No.

-Let's try another subject.

How did your mother die?

-She fell.

- Mom was born here in Herne Bay

and lived here all her life.

My mother would have wished that...

we'd all been there for her

at the end.

Taking a break from saving the world, are you?

-Oh, from one war zone to another.

-Better late than never, I suppose.

-You could have told me sooner.

-Oh, and that would have made a difference?

-Yeah, I would have dropped everything.

-Really?

Paul.

Paul!

Take her to the station, please.

-Sally?

-It's good to see you.

-You didn't tell her I was coming, did you?

-Well, she hasn't been in the right frame of mind, really.

-Yeah, figured.

Who's that?

- No idea. Come on.

Let me give you a lift.

-You know, you've got your hands full.

I should stay a few days.

-I'm fine.

-No, I can stay at Mom's.

I can help pack the house.

-Is that a good idea?

Honestly, I can sort everything.

-I know you're Superman, but I'd like to.

-Okay.

Ten years is a long time.

How did it feel being back home?

-How do you think?

-Why don't you tell me?

-What do you want to know?

-Are you going to answer all of my questions

with a question?

-I don't see why I should answer any of them at all.

- I think I might be able to help you.

So it would be advisable.

Why is it difficult for you to speak about your family?

-You okay?

-It's hard to get my head around it all.

-Mm-hm.

- I keep thinking about Mom's fall.

The last time I saw her she seemed so...

able.

-Are you sure you want to stay here?

I could book you into a hotel on the front if you like.

-It'll be fine.

-Okay.

Call me if you need anything, yeah?

My name is Kate Rafter.

I live at 46 Smythley Road

with my mommy and daddy

and my little sister, Sally.

Nidal?

Oh, Jesus.

- Gillian!

- When was the last time you saw her?

-I couldn't go there when my father was alive.

- Why not?

-Because he was a violent, alcoholic prick.

-Did he hit you?

-I know how this works, Doctor.

You will dig and then, you'll dig some more,

and then you'll try and blame my actions

on some trivial teenage angst.

It's just not like that.

-So, what is it like?

Would you say you were close to anyone in your family?

-Hannah, my niece.

-Where is she?

-Australia.

Do you miss her?

Is this relevant?

♪ Five little seashells ♪

♪ Lying on the shore ♪

- You all right?

-Yes.

- I thought I recognized you earlier.

-I'm sorry, I...

- Hannah's aunt, right?

-Yes.

- We haven't met.

Hannah, she talked about you all the time.

-Ah. I'm-- I'm really sorry.

I-I didn't-- - Um... Uh, sorry.

Hannah and I were together.

-Oh!

Oh, yes, of course.

You're, um...

Urgh. -Joe.

- Exactly.

Well...

-I-- I still don't really know what happened.

Hannah and I were all set to go away and then...

-Joe, I'm sorry.

I wasn't there.

I don't know what happened.

- Mommy!

- Hi. I'm Kate, Gillian's daughter.

M-- Mom kept everything.

I-- I-- I put together some of our toys

in case your little fella would like them.

-I don't have children.

-Uh, Sally couldn't make it.

-It's fine.

Look, I've got this if you want to get back.

-Oh, no, no, no. I'm-- I'm fine.

Sal said I could, um...

- Kate, I'm sorry about the circumstances.

-Thank you.

- As you may be aware,

your mother had asked me to help put her affairs in order.

And six months ago,

she asked me to make a change to her will.

Gillian decided that she wanted to leave her house

to a Mr. Ray Stone.

I'm sorry if that's not the news you're expecting.

- Did you and Sal know this Ray Stone?

-Sal thought she'd been seeing someone but...

no, we never met him.

- It's good she found someone.

-She left the house to him.

-It's what she wanted.

I'll be thrilled to see the back of it.

-You have the luxury of not having to care.

I'm sorry.

Came out wrong.

-No, it's all right.

I shouldn't have assumed that you were...

-Things haven't been easy for us.

Sal's not been able to work for a while now.

- How long's it been this time?

-Oh, since Hannah left.

- Three years?

-I've tried but there's only so much you can do as a stepdad.

You know how stubborn they both are.

Sal's tried to call, of course,

but it's always after she's had a few.

I've had to take the phone off her.

- But you, at least, speak to Hannah, don't you?

-Yeah, she calls every couple of months.

I know Sal would never admit this,

but I think she knows

it's best for Hannah to be away from here.

She has to be away to be happy.

Look, I'll take care of Sal.

I'm pretty good at that.

You need to get back to your life.

There's nothing for you here.

-Paul, Mom's new neighbor...

-Yeah?

-I got together a box of our old toys,

and I took them round for her son, and she...

She practically slammed the door in my face.

-Frida doesn't have kids.

You know Sal mentioned

that you were looking after a young boy in Iraq.

Must be hard dealing with something like that.

on you.

♪ Five little seashells Lying on the shore ♪

Swoosh went the wave...

- Huh?

- Sal?

There's so much blood in your hair.

-Thanks.

- It's okay.

-It was in pain.

-I know.

-She blamed me.

Mom.

-What for?

-For Hannah going away.

She said I wasn't cut out to be a mother.

So I told her I learned everything I knew from her.

You could never really allow yourself to see her.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-She was a terrible mother.

-No, she wasn't.

-Can you believe she was seeing someone?

After Dad died.

-Well, who could blame her?

-There it goes.

Play that one.

Dad, the villain.

-Yeah, well, he never hit you.

-Ah, well, you think you're so hard done by.

Is that why you go around the world

pretending to be some kind of hero

trying to rescue other children from their shitty lives?

Well, it's bullshit.

I see you, Kate.

I know who you are and I know what you did.

Swoosh went the wave.

Kids, this way.

No!

-Don't.

My doctor says I should use this Dictaphone.

I'm afraid I don't remember things so well anymore.

Okay, so this is Wednesday and I'm making a list

and I need milk and eggs.

And...

- No!

Dennis, please! No!

- My Katy will be so cold out there.

Daddy, please let her in.

She's sorry, I know she is.

I know she is.

- Excuse me?

Excuse me!

-What?!

-What are you doing to that child?

-Leave me alone.

-I heard screams.

-I'll call the police.

- Fuck!

- It's not uncommon for the mind

to reimagine painful scenarios.

Re-exposure to trauma, even in dreams,

is a way of processing it.

-I know what I saw.

Look, if you want to sit here and talk about dreams

when a child is in danger, that's on you.

-You focus on children

quite a lot in your work, don't you?

-Yeah, because they need protecting.

-Like you should have been protected from your father.

-No. Like I should have protected Nidal.

- Kate, come here! - Stop!

Shit!

- What the hell are you doing?

-Where is he?

-You know I've called the police.

-Just tell me what's going on.

I know he's here.

I saw him.

What the fuck have you done with him?

-You know this has gone far enough.

There are still a few things

we need to discuss.

I'd like to talk to you about Baghdad.

-What about it?

-Are you aware that a number of your colleagues

have made complaints about your actions?

-He was in danger.

-Who was in danger, Kate?

-Nidal.

-Ah, yes.

Nidal.

On the day of the incident,

I understand it had been agreed that everyone was to remain

in their designated safety zones until the threat passed.

But...

you didn't do that, did you, Kate?

-I was trying to save him.

-But your colleagues state that you were alone.

- They say you went into that room alone

and were the only one who came out.

-No.

Just before the attack,

you exited the safe room.

-Could I have some water?

-Yes, of course.

-In all this time, you haven't mentioned him.

-Who?

-Do you remember the day he died?

It was March 15, 1958.

Where were you that day, Kate?

Kate, if you refuse to confront your past,

it has a habit of revisiting.

- ♪ Four little seashells

Lying on the floor ♪

- Kate love,

do me a favor and watch your brother for me.

-Yeah.

-Okay.

♪ Swoosh came the wave ♪

♪ And then there were... ♪

♪ Five little seashells ♪

♪ Lying on the shore ♪

- Mummy.

Mommy, look at this one, for the baby.

♪ Three little seashells ♪

♪ Lying on the shore ♪

-I'm going to love you more than all the shells in the world.

David?

David!

- David!

- Baby!

. Please!

-I'm sorry.

It's your fault Kate.

You should have been watching him.

He should have never been in the sea.

-I wish it had been me.

- He'd be alive if it wasn't for you!

-I wish it had been me.

-I think Nidal, and the boy in the garden,

are manifestations of your brother David.

And I think you know it, Kate.

You were a child and unable to process it.

- David?

So the trauma is buried,

for a while at least.

It's no surprise to me that returning to your childhood home

triggered a perfect storm.

No matter how many children you try to protect, Kate,

it won't bring David back.

I think the time is up now.

- I can go?

-Yes, you can go.

But I may need to speak to you again.

-You okay?

-Can you take me to Mum's?

-I really don't think that's a good idea.

Frida's trying to put a restraining order on you.

Let me take you to a hotel.

I'll get your things.

-I'll be in and out.

Then, I'm gone.

Promise.

-Okay.

I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have stayed here.

You were right.

These are for you.

And I'm sorry I couldn't get through to Sal.

-I'm not sure anyone can.

-Hm.

Look after her.

-I will.

Promise.

-Well, for all her faults, she had pretty good instincts.

-You think so?

-What was it she said about you when she first met you?

"There's something about him.

I can feel it in my bones."

Bye.

- I need to go back.

-We haven't even talked about what happened.

No, I'm fine, Harry.

- Of course you are.

Would it make a difference if I said no?

-You shouldn't have come back here.

I can't promise you will be safe.

-Please.

Today is Friday.

Paul is picking me up for a doctor's appointment

at 10 AM tomorrow.

The sea is so calm tonight.

Who was that?

What's the matter?

- Help me.

Where did you come from?

- Garden house.

Come to the garden house.

- ... stay safe.

Happy birthday, darling.

-Who's that?

-It's from Aunt Kate.

- Look at you, all grown up and flying the nest.

-Mum?

Mum... I know what you've done for me.

-No, you don't. -Yes, I do.

You have no idea how lucky you are.

- Lucky? - Not at all.

- Lucky?

To have a mom I've have had to clean up

and put to bed more times than I can remember?

You didn't even take the wake-up call when Dad left.

I should just have gone with him.

- Sally!

Oh, my darling.

-Sally?

-Do I know you?

I've--I've gotta be somewhere.

Hello? - Sally?

It's Harry. Kate's editor.

I've been trying to reach you.

-Uh, yeah.

I was-- I was, um, vacuuming.

There's been an incident.

-Hm?

- I'm really sorry.

It's already on the news.

Are you there? -Yeah.

...a day of bloodshed,

a series of incidents on the outskirts of Baghdad

have left many dead.

Among the missing is award-winning journalist

Kate Rafter.

Fighting continues to intensify and this conflict

that seems to show no signs of slowing down.

Among growing criticism in the comments today,

the prime minister stood by this decision

to invade the country.

-I just don't want

what happened to David to happen to you.

-What happened, Daddy?

-It's her fault he's dead.

-You don't know what she's capable of, Sal.

-Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

I got away as quick as I could.

Come here...

Come here.

Maybe it was a blessing, you know?

For Kate.

She put herself right in harm's way, often.

Because, see, she wasn't well.

-I want-- I want-- I need to walk,

or I need-- I need to get out of here.

-Do you want me to come with you?

-No, I just want...

I don't what I want.

I just need to...

So you're the boyfriend.

-I haven't been called a boyfriend in 50 years

but yes, I suppose I was.

I don't want the house.

You grew up there.

It's yours.

-It's not exactly filled with happy memories.

When did you and Mom meet?

-The day your brother died.

I was a fisherman back then.

I just happened to be on the beach that day.

- David?

David!

-I watched your sister...

so young...

and so brave.

-Brave?

- She-- she could have died herself trying to save him.

- David!

Baby!

- But there was nothing she could have done.

Nothing any of us could have done.

-It wasn't Kate's fault?

- Oh, God no.

No, nor Gillian.

It was a... it was a tragic accident.

- Please do something!

- He's gone. - Please help me.

-There's nothing I could do.

Hey.

-Oh, David.

-I met her on the beach that day,

and I didn't see her again until your father died.

Towards the end, she asked me to watch out

for you...

and your sister

-Dennis, please. -Get out.

- No, Dennis, no!

No! -Don't!

- Come here. - No, Dennis, no!

- Get up! - No.

No, please. -Mom!

- Get out. - Kate!

Dennis, don't.

-My Katy will be so cold out there.

Daddy, please let her in.

She's sorry, I know she is.

-It's just...

We're the same, we are, you and me.

No. No! We are not the same!

- It's really great to see you all here today.

Taking your first step towards recovery.

So let's start, shall we?

-Kate. Look at me.

Are you okay?

Hello.

-Sorry, I'm sorry. Are you all right?

-You can't go creeping up on people like that!

-It's-- it's me, Joe.

-Yes, I know who you are.

- Sorry.

-What are you doing skulking about graveyards?

-Oh, it's um, my mom.

-Oh, shit.

Sorry.

-Thanks.

Me-- me too.

It's hard, isn't it...

when they're gone.

-Yes, it is.

-H-- how's Hannah?

-She's fine.

-Good.

I really regret how we left things...

the way it happened.

-What d'you mean?

-Um, remember the day of her birthday party?

- So what are you looking forward to most now you're 18?

-Well, Joe and I have just booked our trip.

- Oh, how wonderful, how exciting.

Tell us all about it.

- She seemed so happy and excited.

But after her birthday, she started acting strange.

She was clearly upset, I suppose.

She wouldn't-- she wouldn't tell me

what was bothering her.

Then it got right up to when we were about to go away

and she asked me, she said,

"Will you always stand by me, no matter what?"

That was it.

I've not heard from her since.

Did she ever say anything to you?

-I have to go. I'm sorry.

Where shall we hide it?

- Mm...

over there.

- Did you know that shells hold secrets?

Secrets of the sea.

-Mm-hm.

-So you put all your secrets in here

and they'll be kept safe.

- Hi.

-Tell me you didn't know.

-Didn't know about what?

-About Hannah's baby.

-What are you talking about?

-Oh, my god, you did know.

-Hannah was pregnant...

uh, but she decided to get rid of it.

I took her just before she left.

-You took her?

-You were in no fit state, Sally.

Uh...

She said she didn't want to end up feeling like you did,

trapped and resenting her child.

-Oh, my God. That is so awful.

She broke up with Joe as soon as she found out.

She said she just wanted to get away.

She...

well, she had the tickets to Australia. She just went--

-That-that was the day we went to lunch at Mum's

and then I...

that was-- that's when everything changed-- changed.

-Sal-- Sally. Don't beat yourself up about it.

It's fine. She's happy now.

She's got a new life.

-Yes, she's got a new life without me in it!

How could you not have told me that?

How could I have not known that?

-That's what ruined everything! -Stop!

- Everything. - Stop!

Stop.

My life changed when I met you and Hannah.

You've got me, Sal.

You've got me.

I love you, Sal.

You and Hannah both.

I've loved you both so much.

Ever since I saw you.

Ever since he went.

- Paul?

I want to call Hannah!

It's best you don't.

Where did you put my phone?

You're in no fit state, Sal.

You'll make things worse.

- I miss her.

Message received yesterday.

Sally, I'm okay.

I'm on my way back.

I've gotta get this.

You have to trust me.

-Sal?

Sal?

Sal?

You have to go to Frida's.

There is a boy.

He's in danger.

Sally, I think he's in the shade.

Hello?

Hi.

It's okay. Don't be scared.

Are you--

are you here all by yourself?

-Mom?

- Hannah?

Hannah.

Oh, my--Hannah!

It's okay.

It's okay. I've got you.

-It's okay. It's okay.

Who did this to you?

-Hey. Hannah, talk to me.

Look at me. Look at me.

Talk to me.

Who did this?

- My God, Hannah.

Is he...?

-Miguel.

-It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

Honey, you must sleep now, okay?

It's okay. It's all right.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Okay.

Come here.

What's going on?

-Nooooo!

-No one can hear you, Han.

- Please!

-I-- I don't understand.

- You remember that day, don't you?

Happy birthday, darling.

-You all right? -Mm.

- You didn't want her to go, either.

-Why didn't you ever want to see the world, Sally?

- How could I do that?

I was too busy raising this ungrateful girl,

who can't get away quick enough. - Mom.

- Even though you were doing your best

to drive her away...

-You have no idea what I've done for you.

- Yes, I do. Mom, Mom.

-Joe, mate, I think if you need to shoo off,

now's probably a good time.

-See you tomorrow, yeah?

Thank's, mate.

-I was too young to have a baby.

You don't know how lucky you are.

-Lucky? Lucky?

To have a mum I've have had to clean up--

- Sally.

I'm not staying here.

Can you just please take me home, Paul?

-Uh, yeah, sure. -Yeah.

- You handed her to me on a plate.

I've never loved you.

It was Hannah from the start.

She fought me.

But I couldn't let her go all the way

to the other side of the world now, could I?

Not with my son.

-Please!

Don't touch her. Don't touch her!

Noooo!

Stop! Please!

Mom? Mom?

-Your mom's been ill for a long time.

Just like your nan.

But it's all right.

I've taken care of them both.

-You monster!

-Yes, a shame about you nan.

I liked her.

But I couldn't risk her talking after she'd seen him, though.

Hey, Sal...

Sal.

Do you know what the best thing that's ever happened to me is?

It's Hannah.

And I'll always be grateful.

But you weren't good enough for her.

None of you were.

Now she's safe.

It's okay.

Ow, Jesus!

-Get off her!

What the fuck are you doing?

Get off!

-You're supposed to be dead!

- Ahh!

- Please don't!

Please!

- I'll make sure you don't go back this time.

- Sally. Sally.

Stay with me, Sal.

Stay with me.

- It's okay.

-Come on, darling.

Stay with me.

-Hello, Kate.

How is your sister?

-It's too early to know.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

Your niece and her little one?

-They're safe now.

-Because of you.

You took the hardest step...

confronting your trauma.

-Dreams are a way of processing it.

-Well, if you ever need to speak to me again...

-I won't.

- Miss Rafter...

your sister's out of theater.

You can see her now.

♪ And it still feels Like yesterday ♪

♪ There were clouds But the sun shone through them ♪

♪ And the sky Was a hazy shade of blue ♪

♪ And I reached out To you blindly ♪

♪ And suddenly you were Right there beside me ♪

♪ When I looked From the outside ♪

♪ Of this thing That we call life ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ Last night I was in the moon ♪

♪ There were clouds But the sun shone through them ♪

♪ And through the light Was a hazy shade of blue ♪

♪ And I reached out To you blindly ♪

♪ And suddenly you were Right there beside me ♪

♪ Yeah that was you Standing over me ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ When everything changed ♪

♪ And it still feels Like yesterday ♪

♪ When I saw things A different way ♪

♪ And I looked From the outside ♪

♪ Of this thing That we call life ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪

♪ That day, that day ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪

♪ Everything changed ♪