All language subtitles for L.A. Law S02E18 Open Heart Perjury

Previously on L .A. Law.

What is going on here?

We're throwing pot.

Naked?

You ought to give it a try.

What? You heard him.

I'm going for the children.

You're laughable, Douglas.

You haven't spent 15 minutes with those
kids since they were six years old. You

want them?

You don't have to go to court. You can
have them.

Well, I haven't been able to work a
single day since this terrible tragedy.

you weren't working before it either,
were you?

It's a big difference between being
temporarily laid off and never being

work again for the rest of your life.

Forget work. I can't even move.

And that's why you're in a wheelchair
now. Is that correct, Mr. Hartvig?

Can't move a muscle.

Not a one.

Nice to have you back on your feet, Mr.
Hartman.

You want to see what I looked like when
your father knew me?

These are porno movies.

I was sexy, wasn't I?

God, yes.

Am I sexy now?

Yes. I don't know what's going to happen
with us, but when I'm with you...

It doesn't matter.

I guess because... Because I love you.

Mom?

Dougie.

Dougie and Mom.

You're an early bird, Miss Millman.
Morning, Roxanne.

Morning, Benny. Morning, Mr. Brackman.
Good morning, Benny. Oh, I told your

brother he can wait in your office and
feed the fish.

So... What are you doing here, Errol?

Good morning to you, too.

Get out of my chair.

Tell me, Dougie, is this some kind of
situation where my brother could become

stepfather? Not that it's any of your
business.

But I happen to care deeply about your
mother, and I believe she cares deeply

about me.

Does your wife know about all this deep
caring going on between you two?

You're a disgrace.

Weaseling your way in here, looking to
exploit your own mother?

Not my mother, Dougie.

You. Get out.

I refuse to let you turn this into
something shameful and tawdry. Look at

the paragon of virtue.

Out before I knock you down.

You and what army? That's it.

All right, I'm going. But let me tell
you this, Dougie. If you think I'm ever

going to forget the sight of you and my
mother rolling around in the hay like a

couple of old seals.

And let me tell you something else. You
break that old lady's heart, and I'll

kill you. You understand me?

Moving along, Lewiston versus Bates.

Defendants got a motion for summary
judgment.

They'll probably win. On what grounds?

Merits. Great.

Otten versus Otten. Nothing exciting. A
couple of pre -trial motions today and

tomorrow. So far, your basic divorce.

Crutcher versus Boland. We go to trial
today. Wait a second.

I thought this was Stewart's case.

Yeah, it is, but I had to bring in a
litigator and Jonathan.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Why on earth are we even taking this to
court?

Gee, I don't know, Douglas. Maybe it's
because we represent a 74 -year -old

widow against the sleazy business
manager who built her for every cent she

But it makes no difference. The sleazy
business manager has hidden all his

assets, and there's nothing to collect
here. The client wants a judgment

him no matter what. If she can't get
money, at least she'll have the

satisfaction of having a moral victory.

But we took this on a one -third
contingency. 33 % of a moral victory

pay our rent.

All right, Douglas.

Well, can't we at least assign a more
experienced attorney?

Like who, Douglas?

Michael's tied up with a Schoenberg
case, Anne and Abby have the Lewiston

and Victor's on a deposition safari in
Wisconsin.

Speaking of which, what's going on with
that, Victor?

Well, the acrobats in Eau Claire,
they're a pretty tight -lipped group,

of them, Yolanda, did tell me that one
of the twins told her that Byron DeBeck

looked kind of double -like.

Publicly, he is the pillar of the
community, but privately, he made no

about his fondness for fairly bizarre
sexual practices.

Like what?

Apparently, one year, he spent over $15
,000 at the old English Saddlery and

Bridal Store. Is that an unusual amount?

It is if you don't have a horse.

You know,

I never did it with twins.

Yeah, well, it's not as great as you'd
think.

Anyway, I gotta go to Worcester,
Massachusetts now.

Yolanda tells me that the twins run a
chicken farm up there that they

from DeBeck.

Chickens? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can get them to
open up for me a little. I'll bet you

are. On that note, we're adjourned.

Oh, don't forget the Bar Association's
cocktail party is tonight.

Leland, can I get a ride with you? My
car's in the shop.

Well, I'm going directly from the club.

I can run you over there.

Leland!

Stewart!

I'm very nervous about turning Jonathan
loose in a trial. What's to lose,

Douglas? You said yourself there's no
money to be gotten. So even if you win,

you lose.

We might as well let Jonathan get the
trial experience.

But at what cost?

I don't want the firm responsible for
smoke bombs going off in the courthouse.

No, I think John knows better than that.

Stuart, you better keep a close eye on
him.

Were you looking for me?

Hmm. You know that guy Jerry I'm dating?

Well, he's got a friend, David Meyer.

Thought it'd be fun for the four of us
to go out.

What's he like?

He's single. He's loaded.

He has a pulse.

Sounds perfect.

Wednesday night, doll.

Maison Richard.

Oh, nice.

Look at go.

What's the need for increased support
here, Mr. Phillips?

My client sacrificed her career for her
husband, Judge. It's only right that the

husband... You're seeking a modification
of a temporary support order with the

same argument you used six weeks ago.

I know that, Judge, but since then she's
resumed her writing. She desperately

needs an office to do the writing. She's
got a five -bedroom house. She wants to

get her master's degree. She needs to
hire full -time help, and she's very

interested in journeying to Benares this
spring as part of the research for her

current book.

Benares is in the Ganges River?

That's right, Your Honor.

Mr. Phillips, I am not pleased.

There's nothing exigent or even
different about your client's

And I don't much like attorneys happily
prancing into my court asking me to

change my mind. I also suspect this
motion is either an opportunity for you

pad your fees or for your client to
victimize her husband.

Mr. Becker, your attempt to reduce the
support order is equally out of line.

too, smacks of retaliation.

And I'm hereby denying both your
motions. What about the conditional

garnishment, Judge? This is very
embarrassing to my client, and I would

Sorry, the garnishment stands.

Your client's credit report suggests a
strong propensity to ignore payments,

Counselor. He won't be ignoring these.
But, Your Honor, this is very... It's

only embarrassing if he fails to comply.

Otherwise, his employer will never know.

Motion denied.

I'll hear any further pretrial motions
tomorrow.

Have a lovely day.

Mrs.

Crutcher, what was your reaction to the
idea of investing in a gold mine?

I told him to forget it.

I didn't even want to risk my money on
stocks.

But at some point, you changed your
mind? He told me that the geologists and

other experts were positive, that this
was the investment opportunity of a

million lifetimes, that he was even
putting his own mother into it. Then he

my hand and he said, Mrs. Crutcher, I
wouldn't let you do it if I wasn't so

about it.

So you invested?

Yes, I put in $50 ,000.

I had another 50 in the money market, so
I said, well, why not take a little

chance? Then what happened?

Well, it was about two months later.

I didn't get my check.

Your check?

Oh, Mr. Boland had me on a budget.

You know, a plan.

I'd get a monthly check for $2 ,000.

About 600 went to pay off the mortgage,
and the rest of it was for my living

expenses. Well, anyway, it was about the
10th of the month, and I still hadn't

got it.

So I called him.

And that's when he told me.

Mrs. Crutcher, what did he tell you? He
said there was no gold.

I couldn't believe it.

I'd lost $50 ,000.

Then he told me I'd lost the other 50,
every penny I had.

What happened to the 50 in the money
market? It went into the gold mine, too.

They had to do some extra drilling or
something.

God, he just took it.

So he didn't tell you he was dipping
into the money market account? No, he

didn't tell me a thing. He just spent
all my money. So what happened?

I lost my home.

I was broke, so I couldn't make the
payments. The bank took it.

I lost my home.

My husband worked so hard for it.

He was putting a little money together
so we could live right.

He used to say, this is for the days
that we can enjoy.

Seven years ago, I lost him.

And now, now I've lost everything he
worked for.

Where do you live now, ma 'am?

I live in a studio apartment.

I have to take a bus to the grocery
store.

You did this to me.

You did this. Objection. Mrs. Crutcher.
How could you?

Objection. Mrs. Crutcher, please.

I'm sorry.

I have nothing. I'm 74 years old and I
have nothing to live on.

I'm afraid.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

No further questions.

Mrs. Crutcher, with respect to the gold
mine, did Mr. Boland make any statements

of fact that were not true?

Well, he told me it was a sure thing.
I'm not interested in predictions or

projections, Mrs. Crutcher, just
statements of fact.

Did he make any factual statements that
were not true?

Well, I don't know.

And who made the final decision as to
whether to invest in this gold mine or

not?

Oh, I did. And when you signed a power
of attorney expressly authorizing Mr.

Boland to use the additional funds in
the money market account, he told you

it might be necessary to use the
additional $50 ,000 to protect your

correct? But he said it was so unlikely.
Yes or no, ma 'am. Did he tell you at

the time that you signed the power of
attorney that he might have to use those

additional funds in the money market
account?

Yes, but I never thought that he
would... Thank you, Mrs. Crutcher.

Nothing further.

Would you like some champagne?

I don't think so, honey.

Come on.

Cheer up.

It just breaks my heart that you and
Errol don't get along.

Sibling rivalry.

It happens.

You're his big brother.

He idolizes you.

Douglas, he's trying to blackmail me.

If you just talk to him, Douglas, I know
you two could be real good friends.

For Rusty, try.

Okay, for Rusty. I love you, honey.

You make my heart sing.

Hi, Douglas.

Can I have a mineral water, please?

Make that two.

Your Honor. Mr. Becker.

Nice to see you off the battlefield.

It is a battlefield, isn't it?

Unfortunately.

By the way, are we allowed to chat
without crossing the bounds of

So long as we don't discuss your case.

What case?

Nice to see you, Judge.

Arnie. Long time no see. How you doing,
Norman? Well, I can't complain.

Can't complain.

So, are you going to be adversaries
here?

I beg your pardon? I'm in the middle of
a divorce. I think Mr. Klein incorrectly

assumed that you were representing me.

Aha. Well, nice to see you both.

Who is representing you? Mitchell Gray
was, but I let him go.

Hi, Arnie. Hi, Abby.

Yeah, you're looking for a divorce, not
a war.

Exactly. Some lawyers have a limited
repertoire.

All I want is an attorney who can cross
the T's and dot the I's and tell me

where to sign my name. Well, whatever
you do, I wish you the best of luck.

you, Mr. Becker.

Howdy, boy.

Hi, Ma.

What's this?

Service with a smile.

You're Sheila's attorney?

She hired me to handle the divorce.

You were going after her private life to
get custody of the kid?

How's it going to look when I tell the
judge you're sleeping with my mom?

Errol! Just imagine, there we are in
court. You on one side and Sheila on the

other. Represented by one brother,
shacked up with the other. Ooh, that one

ought to make the L .A. Times.

You see?

Sheila and I are going to enjoy going
through the financial records of the

to determine the value of your
partnership interest, Dougie.

Damn you!

Boys, please!

Don't fight!

Go ahead, go ahead. There's a hundred
lawyers. I got his witnesses. Now,

Douglas.

You're gonna pay.

You all right? Other than my life's in
total shambles, I'm fine.

Douglas, this has got to stop. Don't you
think I wanted to?

They're like a pack of snarling dogs
closing in for the kill.

Now, you listen to me.

You've been embroiled in this
disgraceful melodrama for months, and

nearer a solution now than when you
moved out. Now, if not for your own

then for the sake of the firm, do
whatever you have to, but get this over

Gentlemen, are we ready to proceed?

Your Honor, counsel for the defendant
requests a sidebar. Step up.

I would respectfully move that given the
nature of these proceedings, Your Honor

disqualify herself from the case.

What's the basis for your motion, Mr.
Becker? The fact that Your Honor is

currently in the midst of a divorce
herself.

Mr. Phillips?

Your Honor, please be assured that this
is the first I'm hearing of Mr. Becker's

motion. Furthermore, I don't question
Your Honor's ability to conduct a fair

trial regardless of the circumstances in
your personal life.

This motion is not meant as a criticism,
Your Honor.

Mr. Becker, whatever the circumstances
of my personal life, they don't pertain

to this case.

They don't affect my ability to
discharge my judicial responsibilities,

are none of your business.

Your motion is denied. Step back.

Is there anything further?

I would move for a temporary restraining
order barring the plaintiff from

interfering with my client's ongoing
negotiations for film rights to his

novel. She's protecting her future
interests, Your Honor, nothing more.

The issue of Mrs. Otten's share in
future projects is not going to be

on pretrial motions, Mr. Becker. Your
Honor, there's a certain vindictiveness

operating here which you may not be
taking into account.

This isn't just a matter of dotting your
I's and crossing your T's.

Your divorce may just be paperwork, but
this one isn't.

You're not going to let go of this one,
are you, Mr. Becker?

Excuse me?

You're going to make this case about me.

Your Honor, I've made my position clear.

I believe the interests of a fair
hearing are best served by another judge

presiding over this case.

Not I, Your Honor. You want another
judge so badly, go get one.

I hereby recuse myself from the matter
of Otten versus Otten.

Now that your motion's been granted, Mr.
Becker, I'll see you in my chambers.

You're a despicable man, Mr. Becker.

No, Your Honor, I'm just a good lawyer.

I made a passing reference to my divorce
in a casual conversation. You turned

that around and used it to humiliate me.
If you'll recall, I specifically made

my recusal motion as a sidebar to spare
you any embarrassment.

And I... not to be grateful? If I have a
question about a judge's impartiality,

I have an absolute obligation to protect
my client.

The fact that I am getting a divorce
does not throw my impartiality into

question. You talked about getting a
divorce last night as though you were

filing for an extension on your income
taxes.

In my experience, people are only that
bloodless when there's a powder keg

inside of them that they're desperately
trying to keep from exploding.

Thank you for the psychiatric
evaluation, Mr. Beckham.

Your Honor.

A judge getting divorced isn't all that
different from anyone else getting

divorced.

The authority of your office doesn't
insulate you from the pain of a failed

marriage. It doesn't regulate your
husband's actions or vest you with any

particular wisdom in planning out your
own.

You are going through a very real event.

You may want to speed up its passage,
but you've got to give it its due.

Thank you, Counselor.

That'll be all.

Just a minute.

You're quite an opportunist, aren't you,
Mr. Becker? When it comes to my

client's interests, you bet.

Before I fired my attorney, we had a
settlement conference scheduled for

tomorrow morning at 11 o 'clock.

There have been four cancellations
already.

If you represent me, we won't have to
cancel another.

Me? Well, what's the problem? We're all
done with this case.

Well, there's no problem, Judge. I'm
just a little surprised. I don't know

to say.

Say yes, Mr. Becker.

That way I can pay you for your wisdom,
and you can stop calling me Judge.

Douglas Brackman for Errol Farrell.

You in for Douglas Brackman?

Go kill yourself!

Tell him it's important.

It's important!

Call the cops!

Go potty your nose.

Is it shiny?

Errol, we have to talk.

If you're looking to fend off our
emotions for discovery, forget it. This

about the divorce.

I want to talk to you personally.

It's a little late for that.

Not if you want to make your mother
happy.

Of course I want to make my mother
happy.

So do I.

In a different way, Dougie. A more
biblical way.

Neither one of us can make her happy
until we settle our differences.

What do you want? My blessing? In a way.
And the chance to say I'm sorry for my

role in whatever troubles we've had in
the past.

I don't know, Dougie.

Sounds a little abstract to me.

Concretely, then.

I can help you. I'm prepared to put you
on our attorney referral list at the

firm. Just offhand, I can think of a lot
of business we can throw your way.

Debt collections, some P .I. cases.

And if you were interested in becoming
more active with the Bar Association, I

could introduce you to the right people.

You'd do that? And if you ever needed
money...

or a shoulder to lean on, I want you to
know you could come to me.

I'm feeling a melting away of a lot of
grievance, Dougie. I don't want

hostilities with you, Errol.

I want us to be friends as well as
brothers.

That's all I ever wanted.

That's all I ever wanted, too.

Come here, you.

Excuse me, Errol.

The 3 o 'clock is waiting.

In a minute.

Hey, it's my big brother here.

And you believed in the viability of
this mine. The geologist said there was

gold in the mine. The assayer said there
was gold in the mine. I was just so

sure this thing was going to make all my
clients rich.

Did you consider that the seller might
have laced the mine with gold flakes to

fool you?

That's why I hired the independent
geologist to check it out thoroughly.

And he told me the ore samples were
legitimate.

I still can't believe he could have been
so wrong.

Did other clients lose money on this
proposition, Mr. Boland?

Collectively, it cost my clients over a
million dollars.

It's the worst thing that's ever
happened to me.

It's put people out of their homes.

Mrs. Crutcher, I am so very sorry.

You have to believe me. If I had the
money, I would give it to you myself,

but... Objection sustained.

Just answer the question, Mr. Boland.

Sorry.

How has this whole thing affected you,
Mr. Boland? Well, I've lost a lot of

clients, of course. Though I think if
they had stayed, I could have turned

things around.

But I can't really blame them.

Do you blame yourself, sir?

Yes, I do.

Even though I suppose I really
shouldn't.

I mean, the geologists, the assayer, the
economists were unanimous. And I have

to rely on them the same way my clients
rely on me. Things just didn't work out

here.

And I am deeply sorry for that.

Especially for the good, wonderful
people like Mrs. Crutcher.

People who trusted me. Do you feel that
you abused that trust, sir? I promise

you I did not.

I may have lost all my money, but I will
take my integrity to my grave.

I have never cheated anyone in my entire
life.

Thank you, sir.

That's all. As the hour is late, we'll
adjourn till tomorrow and resume with

plaintiff's cross -examination.

See you all then.

Down there and turn left.

Miss Maynard? Mr. Boland?

Can we see you there for a minute?

All right, look.

We're willing to shave our demand to $50
,000, provided you agree to an audit,

make a good faith that... Drop dead.

The offer's $5 ,000. That's it.

Bobby, let me do it. Five.

That woman's on food stamps because of
your... I don't give a damn if she has

hock her dentures. If I cave in to her,
all those other old goats are gonna come

after me with their hands out.

Those old goats are broke because of
you. The geologist supported every word

said. I got nothing to worry about. You
paid off that geologist.

Completely unprovable.

Even if you do prove it, so what? I got
no access.

That's enough, Bobby. Don't tell him
anything. This is a settlement

Everything here is inadmissible. I'll
tell you this, Mr. Bond.

We'll get a judgment against you and
just sit. And as soon as you become

we'll pounce all over you. Nice theory,
hot shot.

The only problem is your client's 74
years old, and one thing I've learned

old people, they don't wait so good.
They have a nasty habit of dying.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?
It means if you win, I appeal. You win

again, I appeal the appeal. She keeps
hanging on, I keep waiting.

The day I become liquid is the day after
she croaks.

You make me sick.

Spoken like a lawyer who knows he can't
get me.

You want to do your old lady some good?

Cut your losses. Take the five grand.
Come on, let's see.

Whatever it takes Jonathan.

I want you to nail that bastard

It's

all right with everyone I'd like to
start by setting some parameters for

discussion Since both parties are self
-sufficient, we don't need to concern

ourselves with support.

You can cut through the schmoles, Mr.
Becker. We're all lawyers here. We know

what's on the table.

Stan, uh, we'll just go through the
schedule of assets line by line. Let's

see where we stand on each, okay?

Cash on hand amounts to roughly $150
,000. We exclude inheritances and

contributions. We're left with somewhere
around $100 ,000, which gets split

right down the middle.

Stock portfolio is worth somewhere
around $400 ,000. We use current

We split it by alternate selection or a
liquidation, if that doesn't work. Which

it won't. The house in Brentwood is
worth probably $1 .5 million, $1 .6

We put it on the market, split the
proceeds once it's sold. Absolutely no.

Why? It's not like there are any kids.

Here we go.

Stanley Silverman's Tale of Woe, number
4 ,715, entitled My Wife Didn't Give Me

Any Children.

Do you think we'd be sitting here today
if you had? I don't think that this is

what we're here for, people. Oh, yes, it
is.

Because at the conclusion of his tale of
woe, I'm going to give you chapter and

verse of what I've lived with. What do
you mean, what you've lived with? You're

the luckiest damn broad on the face of
the earth. Oh, thanks to you, of course.

You're damn right, thanks to me.

I taught you how to think.

You're a judge today because I turned
you into a lawyer.

And you've never forgiven me for passing
you by, have you?

Tell them how well you dealt with my
success, dear. How you gave bomb to your

wounded ego by racking up sexual
conquests, including but not limited to

former law clerk. Maybe I was trying to
get your attention.

Why? So you could come mewling to me
with your sense of loss?

Guilt me into forgiving you?

Can I make a suggestion?

There are practical matters which we
should... Your self -pity didn't break

during our marriage. It's not gonna
break me now.

I hope you die, lady.

A fake no -word staying married to you.

Don't say a word.

Come on!

Hold it!

Jeffrey?

Come on.

Sheila, how's the pottery? Corrupted.

Gordon?

Hi, Dad. Boys, what happened to your
hair? What happened to yours?

Quit it, Jeffrey.

Quit it. Boys. You cut it out. Can we
get on with this?

My lawyer said you had a proposal.

I do.

I want peace, Sheila.

I want this family to locate a new sense
of oneness.

Jeffrey, do you mind?

Jeffrey.

Jeffrey, your father is talking.

I'm ready to initiate a full accounting
and division of all assets accrued

during the marriage.

Ask for the children and prepare to
accept joint custody.

Big deal. The only reason you tried to
take them was because you couldn't stand

the fact I was happy.

Sheila? No, Gordon, she's right. I felt
jealous and angry. But now that I found

love myself,

None of it matters.

We may not choose to be married to each
other, but we'll always be bound to each

other as parents to our children.

This is a beautiful acknowledgement.

Sheila, what do you think about what
Douglas is saying?

I want my lawyer to look it over.

Uh -huh.

And what do you feel about what Sheila
just said?

That's fine.

I don't know about both of you, but I
am... I am... I am...

Terribly moved.

Ow! Jeffrey, stop it! You keep sniffing
me!

Alec, stop sniffing your brother!

Hey, that's an expensive fish. Don't you
dare touch it! I'm just gonna pet it!

It's not meant to be petted.

Will you forget the stupid guppy,
Douglas?

Sheila, no more punishment.

No more hostility.

Let's declare our loyalty to this
family.

To the bond we can create between and
among our children, our friends.

All our denominators.

I feel so blessed just to be here.

Oh, Jeffrey! My fish! It's a flying
fish. It just flew right out. Do you

anger, Jeffrey and Sheila? Stick it,
Gordy. Your shoe, Sheila, the fish. Move

your shoe.

You took a $75 ,000 consulting fee on
this gold mine deal, didn't you? I

that's correct, yes.

You recommend a deal to an elderly
widow.

A deal that causes her to lose her house
as well as every last penny she has,

and you take home 75 ,000 bucks?

Nobody regrets this more than I do, sir.
Oh, that's right.

You're deeply sorry.

Objection. Sustained.

Mr. Boland, I show you your own
promotional brochure, which puffs your

and I ask you to read the part I've
underlined. Here.

Above all, we advocate diversification,
a varied portfolio to minimize risks.

Diversification, and yet you put every
cent of Mrs. Crutcher's money on one

single gold mine venture.

I've already explained that. It seemed
like such a sure thing.

Did you put any of your own money on
this sure thing?

I never invest my own money. I bet.

Tell us this, Mr. Boland.

Why didn't you notify my client you were
taking the last $50 ,000 out of her

money market account?

It wasn't necessary. I had power of
attorney. I was authorized.

This woman was anti -risk. She was
afraid to play the stock market, for

sake. And you plunked down all her
money, her life savings, on a high -risk

mine without even telling her? Do you
think I'm happy about this? Do you think

I'm proud of what... Bear with the
sympathy song, Mr. Boland. You're a

thief. Objection!

Counselor, you stole from this person
who trusted you. I did not. Mr. Rollins.

This brochure says you're accessible in
constant communication with the client.

It says you emphasize conservative
estate planning. It says you stress

diversification. What you did with my
client's money contradicts every

representation in your brochure, doesn't
it? This was a special thing, that's

all.

Special thing.

Take a breath, Mr. Boland.

We're just getting started here.

Your Honor, he's had this man up here
for over four hours.

This is protracted. It's... Overruled.
I'm going to allow it. Thank you, Judge.

Mr. Boland, regarding your financial
statement, I see you've made over three

-quarters of a million dollars in each
of the last three years.

You've set up five different trust
funds, one for your wife and one for

your four children.

Each exceeds $300 ,000, with you named
as the only trustee, and yet you

personally have assets totaling only $17
,000.

I like to look after my family. No, you
like to make yourself judgment -proof.

Objection. That's not true.

Overruled. You've set up this sham
protection blanket so your fleece

have nothing to chase but an empty bag.
I object.

I am an honest man.

Anyone who knows me knows that.

Really? Well, a Mr. Frank teacher knows
you, and in his complaint against you...

Objection. This is totally out of line.

I'm offering it to him, Pete. She just
testified that everyone who knows him

knows he's on it. I have 12 complaints
here.

Each by former clients, people who know
him to be something other than honest.

Your Honor.

Overruled. Mr. Frank Teacher alleges you
defrauded him and conspired to steal

money in excess of $20 ,000.

Are you aware of this complaint
currently filed against you?

Yeah.

So, when you stated just now that
everyone who knows you knows you're an

man, that was a lie.

Wasn't it?

Objection. Do I have to keep taking
the... Taking is your strong suit.

stealing, lying. Oh, for God's sake.

Mr. Rawlins.

That's enough.

Sorry, Judge.

Let's forget about Frank T. Jones.

Do you know William Presham, sir? Your
Honor.

Overruled. Mr. Rawlins.

Do you have much more here?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my, yeah.

Is there anything more dreary than two
people dividing up their lives?

I don't know. Maybe two people not
dividing up their lives.

So humiliating.

You work your entire life to achieve a
little dignity, and it all comes

unraveled in a barrage of name -calling
and rock -throwing and... Forgive me.

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself.

You're entitled.

It's just so absurd.

You evaluate your life by the things in
it, and suddenly its value is reduced by

half.

Not its real value.

Well, that can't be measured, let alone
reduced.

Spoken like a man who's never had to go
through it personally.

Spoken like a man who's had a chance to
know you personally.

Are you flirting with the client, Mr.
Becker?

No, Your Honor.

Because I'm a judge?

Because...

I wouldn't want to lose your respect and
I hope your friendship by being a jerk.

Not to mention you're the kind of woman
that I could get into serious trouble

with.

Trouble how?

If I let myself go, you're the kind of
woman I could fall deeply ass over a tea

kettle in love with.

Oh, I'm sorry. Forgive me.

If we're really going to jump off that
precipice, I don't want to do it here.

Tell me where you want me to go, and
we'll go there.

Tell me why we're here, Mr. Becker.
Judge Ryan called this morning and said

she wanted to have another meeting as
soon as possible.

Probably wants another pound of flesh.
If this is going to be a replay of

yesterday, I can tell you it's going to
be a very short meeting.

Don't lay responsibility for what
happened yesterday at our door. Whose

then? She did everything she could to
enrage me. All I'm saying is that it

swings both ways.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Sorry I'm late.

Stanley, are you willing to listen to me
for a minute?

I'm here, aren't I? Okay.

I'd like to propose the following.

Let me buy out your interest in the
house from my share of the stock

Keep the partnership intact, keep the
library, keep the art. I feel like it's

more yours than mine anyway.

With the exception of the black and
white Franz Klein, I'd like to keep it.

Why that one? Because you gave it to me
for my birthday.

Is that satisfactory?

I think so.

Good. One question.

What happened between yesterday and
today?

I don't know.

I thought about what it was I really
wanted.

I thought about our history together and
both of us getting on with our lives.

And then I slept on it.

Al?

Are you all right?

You call a 101 fever and a severe case
of reverse lunch all right?

What about tonight?

You're on your own, kid.

We could cancel. We could make it
another night.

Can't. He's out of town. Flying in.
Can't be reached.

But Al!

It'll be fine. You'll see. You'll have a
great time. Goodbye.

The going rate for a geologist is $400 a
day.

You paid him $10 ,000 for one week's
work.

I wanted the best. If I hired a more
expensive geologist, it's because... But

it's not more expensive.

The job before this, he made $350 a day.
The job after, he made $300 a day. You

pay him $2 ,000 a day? I happen to think
he was worth it. You paid that

geologist extra to feed the mine, didn't
you? I did not. I've got a theory, Mr.

Boland. I want you to tell me if it's
true or false.

You pay this hand -picked geologist over
five times the going rate to feed the

ore and put out this phony report which
allows you to bilk your client. False.

You pay him $10 ,000 and you take $75
,000, plus a likely kickback on the

purchase price from the seller who knows
the land is worthless.

Not true.

Your Honor. Suddenly you're setting up
trust funds for your kids while your

widowed clients are living on welfare.
It's a lie.

Objection. Sustained. You're the one
who's lying, Mr. Boland, and everybody

knows it. I am an honest man.

Mr. Boland. An honest man doesn't get
rich off of senior citizens.

Objection. Get out of my face. An honest
man doesn't get sued by 12 different

clients for fraud.

Sit down, Mr. Boland. Those suits are
completely baseless. An honest man

conceal his assets in hidden bank
accounts.

Objection! Objection! I will win all
those suits!

Mr. Rollins, you're a thief who should
be in jail, Mr. Boland.

I've done nothing wrong.

I am completely honest. Water! You
have... You can't... No!

Mr.

Boland?

Bela! Get a doctor.

It's Bennett.

Hold him down.

Bobby?

Bobby!

Get back. Give me some room.

Easy breathing.

Your Honor. Please, what can I do?

Your Honor, this man has a life
insurance policy leaving $2 million to

estate. What?

In the event this man does in fact die,
Your Honor, I'd like to attach the

proceeds of that policy. Mr. Rollins. We
have a reasonable likelihood of success

on the merits and no means to satisfy a
judgment based on this man's ability to

hide assets, an ability I'm sure he's
taught his co -workers. You're

disgusting. Your Honor, it's imperative
we freeze these assets.

For God's sake, Mr. Rollins, this man is
fighting for his life. If he lives,

judge your orders moot. If he dies,
which it looks like he's going to,

from this purple color I see, then you
maintain the status quo pending

disposition. Shut up!

I'll take it under advisement. Now get
that hell back. Now!

What's going to be happening?

Did he say that was subject to
discovery?

I'll have the agreement messengered over
to your office first thing in the

morning. Great, great.

Mr. Becker, thank you very, very much.

Okay. Monica.

Thank you.

Can't you something? I did have help.

But in the end, it was you.

As I recall, there were two of us last
night.

I hope you don't think that I took
advantage of you. I'm not exactly sure

took advantage of whom last night.

But you're a very smart attorney, and
you read me perfectly.

I felt worthless, hurt, betrayed, angry.

And regardless of your motive, you made
me feel wanted and special.

And sexy.

You are all those things.

And I want you to know I'm prepared to
accept what we had at face value and let

it go at that.

But if you think you can handle more, if
you're not afraid of a real

relationship, you know where to find me.

What you did was repulsive. I can't
believe it. It was the right...

Thing I had to do... Was reprehensible.

Now, let's all calm down.

Leland, the man died.

And all this screaming isn't going to
bring him back. Can the firm be held

liable for this?

Uh -uh. No lawyer has qualified immunity
during a trial. What if he had a pre

-existing heart condition?

What if we could be charged with
constructive knowledge? He didn't have a

condition. And it doesn't matter.

There's no liability for cross
-examining a guy to death. We're still

some negative publicity here.

Oh, listen to this.

All you care about is publicity, and all
he cares about is life insurance money.

It makes me sick. So what, I should have
dropped to my knees and had a good cry

at the expense of the client? You could
have acted like a human being. How human

is it to let Mrs. Crutcher die on
welfare? Your behavior was inexcusable.

minute. I don't have to take this abuse.

Jonathan.

What about the trial, Stuart?

It's over, Miss Trout.

Stuart, you're just as much to blame.
You sat there. You could have stopped

Stopped him?

I got news for you, Ann. I was cheering
for him.

What? You're damn right. Look, I don't
wish death on anybody.

But you should have seen this.

This guy has a heart attack, right? The
whole room freaks out. The judge panics.

And this kid, this 25 -year -old kid,
has the presence of mind to protect his

client. And whether you want to admit it
or not, that guy's dying was the best

thing that could have happened to Mrs.
Crutcher.

And one other thing.

This kid's going to be one hell of a
lawyer.

He's the kind people hire.

Am I ever.

Oh, God, you look beautiful.

Just the same old me.

You know, between your caseload and
mine, I haven't seen you in days. I

think you should have come out of
retirement.

Are you kidding? It's all your fault.

Uh -uh, Counselor.

I'm not that kind of girl. You have to
buy me a romantic dinner first.

Well, um, Maison Richard romantic enough
for you?

May we?

Know much about the direct mail game,
Rock? Nothing at all. It never fails to

amaze me. When I do a mailing, 2 .6 %
response, I'm very happy.

3%, I'm beside myself.

I'm working off this list of recent
homebuyers in the Minneapolis -St. Paul

area, Hennepin County, Ramsey County,
Washington County, Anoka County.

I'm paying this direct marketing firm to
give me those who have gone from less

populous areas to more populous areas
because maybe, just maybe, that means

square footage to less square footage.
Tell me, what products do I sell them?

I have no idea, David.

Pre -fabricated storage facilities.

Do you know what the response was? No.

Four and a half percent response.

It looks so good, as a matter of fact,
that next week I'm flying to Binghamton,

New York, to talk to another
manufacturer.

You ever been to Binghamton?

Never. I've been going there for years.

Used to fly into Idlewild Airport and
then take the bus. This was on Old Route

17. I'm really not familiar with that
part of the country, David.

Middletown, Monticello, Livingston
Manor, sample case on my lap, but I

did all right there. I think I see one
of our attorneys from the office.

What's that?

Uh, David Meyer, this is Michael Kuzak
and Grace Van Owen.

Hi, how are you? Pleasure to meet you.

Won't you sit down and join us?

Our table's ready. Please.

Well, just for a minute.

All right.

So,

you're a lawyer at Roxanne's firm?

Yeah. You know, I just got sued.

Did I tell you that? You never mentioned
it, no.

Yeah. A few years ago, I bought this
novelty factory in Mahwah, New Jersey.

was going out of business.

What kind of novelty?

You know, your basic promotional
trinkets. You got your keychains, your

openers, your pocket protectors, your
slide charts. It was the slide charts

where we got into trouble.

Uh, what are they? Uh, two pieces of
laminated stuff held together with a

grommet if they rotate, a die -cut
window if they slide. We'd get them

up with metric conversion tables, spot
and stain removal charts, drink mixing

guides, you name it. We had ones that
could... calculate IRAs, mortgage

payments, gas mileage, rim widths. We
had 10 -year calendars. It was the rim

widths where we got into trouble.

This fella in Gainesville, Florida, uses
the chart, buys the wrong width tires,

gets into a car accident. Who's me?

Hey, this is not a precision instrument.

This is a giveaway item that cost me two
and a half cents a unit to manufacture.

Grommets get loose, right? There's
nothing you can do about that. This is

the reasons I got out of small
manufacturing.

It's late. I should have called first.

That's okay.

So if we get started, I'm not sure where
it's going to lead.

Me neither.

I haven't been this scared since I was a
kid on my first date.

What are you afraid of?

Everything.

Well, maybe we should...

in my chambers.

Hi, doll. Hi. I feel much better,
thanks. See you later. All right.

So, how was the date?

If I had three weeks to live, I'd marry
him.

Why?

Because every day would seem like a
year.