Original subtitles

Get this, a cow.

And on that last stake was a horse.

What in the hell happened to them?

Just disappeared into the atmosphere.

Can you dig this?

A complete elephant wiped out.

That'll sure add to the smog up there.

What are they trying to prove with this new bomb?

That they can destroy humanity but leave the building.

Maybe we can sell the idea to a paint commercial.

The entire race wiped out, but Chevron paint didn't even peel.

Let's get back to the base.

We're not supposed to be spending more than 15 minutes in this radiation.

Damn it, Dad.

I can't believe they actually did it.

I mean, until now, the neutron bomb was just an idea.

I just can't believe they actually tested one.

And not just anyone, but that goddamn ultra -neutron bomb.

Well, the U .N. bomb, as the president calls it.

I mean, what kind of sick brain could invent a device that kills all life

a certain radius, but doesn't even singe a newspaper?

People make wars, Jack, not property.

Some of us in government positions believe the U .N. bomb is a blessing.

What happened to you, Dad?

You're starting to sound just like those mush heads in Washington.

Come here, son. I want to show you something.

Look out there, son.

See what war can do to a city?

The people out there may never be able to rebuild what was once theirs.

If America should engage in a nuclear war, I'd rather we be hit by a bomb that

will leave our cities intact for future generations.

Why should our descendants have to live like rats, robbing through rubble and

debris, just because a handful of their ancestors wanted to kill each other?

Use the ultra -neutral bomb and there won't be any descendants to worry about.

I'm sorry, Dad.

This whole thing stinks to high hell.

When I get back to the States, I'm going to use my name and my influence as a

son of an American ambassador.

And I'm going to tell the people about this.

It's horror.

Jack.

Son, wait.

Hello, Jack.

How are you?

Leaving so soon?

About to go.

Ready to take that dictation now?

Yes, sir.

Can we go a little faster? The sooner we get out of here, the better I'll feel.

We may have no choice unless those are your friends.

Okay, here we are.

Hey, where are we how long you been here?

Hey. I want you to connect me with the American ambassador, Mark Stewart, at

American embassy.

This is a call of great urgency. Do not screw it up.

Hey, hey, we're going.

What do you think of me?

Jack's got to be alive.

Otherwise, we would have found his body, too.

And he would have sent this.

It adds up, Mark.

I've seen this scenario before.

It won't be the last time an American dignitary's son or daughter is

If only the abductors made contact, this damn weighty is...

Ambassador Stewart speaking.

Yes, it arrived today.

You must tell me, is Jack alive?

Here, say hello to your daddy.

Dad, I'm alive and okay.

Don't worry about me.

Don't do anything rash.

What do you want?

I'm a man of wealth, influence, I'll pay any price to.

What? You heard me, Stuart.

Use your political influence and great wealth to get us the second phase fuel

formula for the ultra -neutron bomb.

Or by Allah, your son will be returned to you organ by organ.

How much time do I have?

Let me see.

And who am I dealing with?

30 days.

And we don't even know the identity of Jack's kidnappers.

Well, one thing's certain.

He can't meet their demands.

The U .N. bomb is a dangerous enough weapon in the hands of sane people.

I've got to do something, Jim. He's my son.

I understand.

If only we hadn't been arguing.

If that's the last memory of Jack, I'll have to carry it with me the rest of my

life. Maybe it won't be.

If we can pull a rescue.

I have an idea. Look, don't bullshit me.

I've already been refused help by the Israelis.

Even our own government.

Too many political problems involved.

I am not talking about any government -sanctioned rescue.

Then what?

Mark, I'm not only your assistant. I'm your friend.

So trust me, okay?

What choice do I have?

Remember what I did before you hired me?

I have a lot of connections.

I'm going to head over to the airport right now.

Have Anna call and get me on the next flight back to the States.

Las Vegas.

You did a terrific job with them.

Should be a good show tonight.

Thanks, Joe.

Take a walk August security jam

What's

wrong boys, I thought I'm supposed to be the weaker sex

creeps want any more come and get it that's enough jen uh you passed the test

damn what's going on sorry about that had to see if you still had it

well obviously you still do look who showed up back in my life

every two years like clockwork how long is this episode gonna last i've been out

of the country jen now i need your help let me explain

more money than you'll ever make in Los Angeles.

Details.

It's going to be easy.

Want to go for a drink? Yeah, let's go.

That was good.

Where are the girls?

Come on, let's go.

We've been rehearsing and performing for months now.

Not for the money or for the fame, that's for sure.

When did you ever worry about money?

Sometimes I think mom was right. At least if I stayed home, I wouldn't be

all the time.

That's for sure.

I'm with you. The more I think about it, the less I like it. I have a deal you

might be interested in.

Geez, what is this?

Grandson's infestation?

Sorry about the intrusion, girls, but we have to talk. This is Jim Rather, an

old friend.

And he needs some volunteers.

For what?

Well, we all know with...

in this town.

No, nothing quite like that.

Jen here tells me that you all came out here for money, fame, excitement.

Even one would be nice.

Jim can get you all free.

If you qualify.

You don't think we qualify?

It'll take more than some TNA.

It'll be tough and dangerous.

What are we going to do? Rock Jesus Palace?

Nothing quite that simple.

Think about it.

Now, if you're interested... Think what?

You haven't told us a thing yet. You'll find out everything as soon as all the

qualified volunteers are selected.

I will tell you one thing, though.

I'm paying $500 per week while you're training.

And $25 ,000 upon your return.

$25 ,000? Hey, wait a minute. Return from where?

Working here.

Take me how long to make that much? About 75 weeks.

Wow, that's a long time.

What do you think, Gail?

I think... What do we have to do for so much money?

You'll find out everything as soon as all of the qualified volunteers are

selected. I'm in.

Sounds exciting to me.

I'm in.

Hey, get myself a boob job.

Look at that. It's the military coming to you, Sergeant.

I often wonder about that myself, sir.

It's hot out here.

The officer's bar closes in an hour. Get my drift, Sergeant.

This is the secret training center.

This was used as a special CIA training camp.

Well, Beth, you said you weren't going to be on the bus in the morning.

Yeah, but they sure are the hell of me friends.

Not exactly mom's friends either, but for 25 grand.

Hey, what are you going to do with that 25 grand, Billy? She hasn't got it yet.

You going to let them keep us here all day, Sergeant?

All right, ladies, let's settle down.

Volunteer and we promise you money and excitement I'm warning you. It's not

gonna be easy I'd like to introduce you to your commanding officer.

This is Colonel Ballen and this is your drill instructor sergeant hearth

We have less than 10 days to transform you from Las Vegas showgirls into

expert commando fighters During that time some of you will be dismissed some

will quit

Some if you don't listen to every word I say could be seriously injured But I'll

tell you this Those of you that do make it through are gonna be the best

fighters that ever came out of this camp and the richest If you're having any

second thoughts about this now's the time to speak up bus hasn't left yet Any

questions before we start Good move them out sergeant right away, sir

We're going to move down to the obstacle course now.

When I blow this whistle, I want you to move through this course as if you were

going through a minefield.

Imagine if those tires were mines and you touched one of them.

You could lose both legs.

This guy's got a fertile imagination.

Let's move it out.

Ladies, an ordinary piece of wood.

But you can if you think you can. Remember that saying?

I want you to come up.

Each of you can do this, but Jan, I want you to come up.

I want you to concentrate on putting your fist right through this wood, right

into my chest.

Okay, you can do that now. Take your time and concentrate. See your hand

all the way through.

Let's go.

Okay, now how did Bruce Lee do this?

Ladies, this is a killing instrument.

It's the M16 rifle now being used around the world in more wars than we need.

You take care of it, and it will take care of you.

Now, when we get out on the range, you'll be given four rounds of ammo to

your weapons in with.

Never, I repeat, never point your weapon at anyone unless you intend to kill

them.

An unloaded gun has killed a lot of innocent people.

Always keep this weapon pointed downrange.

Any questions?

No, sir!

All right, then let's move out. Red team first. Now move, move, move, move,

move, move, move!

Now remember, squeeze those rails off slowly.

Okay, I'm going to show them.

Ready on the left.

Ready on the right.

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.

What's the problem here?

...seem to get it right on...

and never point that weapon anywhere but down the range. Do you understand?

You don't do a thing until you're instructed. Do you understand?

Huh? Do you? Yes, sir!

All

right.

That's enough for today.

Ladies, I got permission to use the officer's swimming pool.

I want you all to change into your swimwear.

In a few minutes, we'll call you back out and tell you who has been selected.

All right?

a wonderful time at it. Oh, and it had a wonderful time with you.

Yeah, those guys couldn't keep their eyes off you.

I hope watching you made them overlook our mistake. Well, you might have served

a useful purpose after all. I always serve a useful purpose.

Yeah, a couple of them.

I'm kind of sorry it's all over with, you know.

Now that I got my body back in shape, now what do I do?

our old jobs back. With all this training, if they won't give us our old

back, we'll just go in and take them back.

Chrissy. Karen.

Those of you not selected, we want to thank you with a bonus of $1 ,000

And, of course, the possibility of selecting some or all of you on our next

mission.

Can't understand why they pass me by.

Either can I, Mary.

Either can I.

Yeah, hi, Mr. Ambassador.

How was the flight?

I'm in Vegas, aren't I?

Yeah, well, I hope the hotel's treating you right.

Never mind that.

I want to know what progress is being made with your scheme to rescue Jack.

Well, everything's going well so far.

Just give me one more day and I'll be able to show you the entire plan.

And then you'll be able to see our secret weapon.

to the Geneva Convention, we are obligated to give you food and water

day. So here's your food and here's your water.

Bon appetit.

What is this, some kind of cruel joke?

You bring me a handful of Las Vegas showgirls and you tell me they can get

son out? Mark, it's no joke.

It's all we've got left.

These girls are commando trained.

Each one of them is an expert in their field.

Karate, marksmanship, demolitions.

Mark, you said yourself that no one else would lift a finger to help us on this.

It's all we've got left.

A bunch of showgirls or whatever?

That's their cover.

downstairs at the antique auto show.

The auto show?

How can we talk there?

We have plenty of time. Place doesn't open until 9 .30.

Be there in ten minutes.

But we're not ready.

Wear what they have on. Now move it.

This is amazing.

What are we doing here?

I don't know. but I'm sure that it's very important.

Okay, by now you all know Ambassador Stewart's son's been kidnapped by

terrorists. Our sources in the Middle East inform us that he's being held

somewhere near the Syrian border.

The problem is we don't know exactly where.

What do they want with the son?

Yeah, I understand snatching the ambassador, but why his son?

Force the ambassador to give them a secret fuel to be used in a neutron

See, by kidnapping the ambassador... They know our government's not going to

give in to extortion, so that would be futile. They'd get nothing.

But by grabbing his son, they hope to force him to get what they want.

What if we can't pull this off? Then what?

Well, they said his son would be sent back to us in bits and pieces.

That's a hell of a lot to expect from a handful of Las Vegas dancers.

Yeah, what a responsibility.

We're not just Las Vegas dancers.

We're trained commandos.

Even so, our...

Lies are really going to be on the line, huh?

Finally, 25 grand doesn't look so great.

Look, we knew we weren't training to become camp counselors when we signed

So let's go on with it.

Go ahead, Jim.

Okay, you're booked as Las Vegas dancers at a club in Karajan.

Now your uniforms, vehicles, and weapons will be delivered to you by friends.

You'll receive instructions by phone as to possible locations where Jack might

be held prisoner.

Your mission, Miss Richards, now that you've decided to accept it, is to take

that location at any cost and free him. Are we going to have to kill people?

No, we just fire point blank.

If they fall down a dock, that's their problem.

Now, once you take the location, if Jack is not there, you're to pick up any

vehicles, weapons, ammunition that you can find for future assaults. If Jack is

there, there'll be a plane waiting for you at an airfield just outside of

Karajan. Now, it's only going to be there for four days.

On the fourth day, it leaves at 10 a .m. And what if we don't find him?

Well, I guess you'll have to miss the plane.

You know, Jim, you're all hard. Look, there's a lot at stake here.

I've got my job to do, and you've got yours.

There's not a lot of room for compassion.

So I've noticed.

Okay, girls, come on.

Let's get our gear and take off.

Bye, Jim.

Good luck.

Jen.

Really, what an exhausting flight.

Wow! If I would have known hotels look like this in this part of the world, I

would have been to be here long ago.

Don't get too enthusiastic. This might be the only luxury we see while we're

here. Well, I could just sleep for days.

Wake me up when the war's over.

Don't take up too much room there. There's nine of us and only five beds.

this might not prove to be the imperial palace in Las Vegas, but instead the

downtown Y.

Aren't you guys forgetting something?

that there's a water shortage.

Plenty of oil in this country, but little water.

So I suggest we fill the tub and all get in at once.

Hey, I've got some real sexy bubble baths.

I think I hear the telephone.

Well, I think you're right. It is the telephone.

I wonder who it's for.

It's got to be for one of us.

What if it's an obscene phone call?

Well, somebody could answer it. Well, say that's right. Somebody could answer

it.

She could answer it.

Jen, you answer it. You're our leader. No, I'm not.

Jen, remember all that hope you laid on us back in the States?

Well, now you're copping out.

All right, all right. It's okay to get a few minutes of relaxation without you

creeps needling her.

This is she.

Cashmere. The thieves will be where?

Oh, yes, I understand.

Could you spell the name of that last city for me?

5 a .m. 5 a .m. in the morning?

Understand.

Yes, we'll be there ready for battle.

Right.

Jan.

Who is it?

Well, it was this rich...

oil sheik who wanted to take us all to dinner and give each one of us a diamond

necklace if we met him downstairs in five minutes.

Thank you.

Why are we entering the science?

Well, because we can't go through the middle of the hotel with our uniform on,

can we?

Come on, you know what I want? A cold drink and a hot bath.

Oh, I could retire.

You know, if it wasn't for knowing that somewhere they're holding and maybe even

torturing the ambassador's son, I just couldn't keep on turning in.

Hi, Fred.

Hi, I just closed my eyes and turned in. Get me down there if you want to see me

have that comb.

You girls just don't know how to handle fighting.

Isn't this our key to jumping the bathtub, men?

Yeah, let's go.

If I didn't know that tub was waiting for me when I got here, I don't know.

That's just the life of a commando.

Yes, this is she.

No, no sign of the sun.

Where?

Well, I hope we have better luck locating Jack tomorrow.

All right, yes, I have it.

Right.

Tomorrow, 5 a .m., we'll be there.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Great.

We've been working with the things we trained on now more.

Don't worry.

I'll figure this out.

My throat needs a lap.

I've got him in my sight.

Can't make a big bang.

I always do, honey.

You're the chief! Go that way!

Watch out! You're bumping over the apple dump!

Look out! That's where you're going!

All right!

It's okay.

It's a good thing you didn't hit that apple.

Thank you.

Yes, this is me.

Look, whoever you are, we've raided and killed dozens of Arabs, and none of them

seem to be terrorists.

Nor do they have any idea of where Stuart's son is.

No, we can't go tomorrow.

We have to dance at the club. They're already getting suspicious.

I'll wait for your call.

And the direction better be right.

Nice

to

see you.

How can you breathe from this little thing?

Better start greeting the little bastard.

You had better watch what you say. One day, one might understand you.

Words of endearment, my darling.

Besides, we always talk like that to one another in the States.

I just bet you do.

Well, how are you tonight, you rancid sacks of suet?

Oh, we got a great show for you lame brain idiots tonight.

Of

course.

Listen, drink up, drink up, you scum bums. I need all the money I can get so

can get out of your stinking country.

Nice city, guys.

I'll drink to that. Yes, sir.

You

know,

in the finale number, it's a kick.

Pot of a ray, and then a turn. No, no, no, no. It's a kick, a ball change, and

then two turns.

A kick, a ball change, and then two turns. Hey, don't worry. Nobody's

your feet anyway.

I'm looking at my feet.

Oh, yeah.

Jump!

MC.

I want to thank you all for visiting me today.

Visiting you? You slob. You kidnapped us at gunpoint at our hotel.

How you got here isn't important.

You're here.

And now I suppose you want to know why you're here, yes?

Because I want to know why you are in my country.

I don't believe you are only dancers.

I want to know what you are doing here.

Spying?

than your tongues.

If I don't get out... Hope.

Hope.

Release one of them and bring her over here.

This can be once a week on Tuesdays.

And what is today, everyone?

Saturday. No, it's Wednesday.

Now, who sent you?

Joe sent us.

Judge Joe?

No.

Hastings from the William Morris Agency sent us here. We're dancers.

We dance at the Ed Hall Casino every night at the 9 p .m. dinner show and at

midnight show.

Showtime! Five, six, seven, eight!

I don't believe you're only dancers.

Several of my men were killed in my west tower by a group of female commandos.

Do we look like soldiers? Do we have guns?

It must be you.

I am correct.

I'll feed each one of you to the tiger, one by one, until I get the truth.

Now get the hell off of me!

tire tracks.

There's got to be a road somewhere.

Ah, so what? There'll be no one on it. Probably some chariot tracks from 200 B

.C. Oh, God, you realize that we could die of dehydration out here?

Even lack of water.

What do we do, Jan?

We've only got about six more hours to live.

Yeah, Pauline, get us out of this peril.

Okay, well, we can't walk.

It's probably sheep.

I wonder what it is.

Deja vu! I saw the same scene in Lawrence of Arabia. It turns out to be

who shoots the man who was watching him.

Come on, let's get the hell out of here.

And go where, huh?

Well, we can't just stand here and be slaughtered.

You make out what it is yet?

I can see several heads and huge bodies.

Elephants!

Out here in the desert?

Big camels!

They sure are!

How are we going to fit nine girls on three camels? A couple could ride on a

head and get help.

No, I think we should all stick together.

Can they carry all of us?

Say, where can a girl get a cold drink around here?

Is that water in that bag?

Sure it is. Let's have a drink.

I'd rather dehydrate. We will, we will.

Maybe we should follow them. They might lead us to civilization.

It could be days.

No, we can't go on much further.

give us a ride?

How far is the nearest city?

We're going to the Phoenicia Hotel.

Please, take us to the city.

Yeah, please.

Oh, my God. Where did these beautiful girls come from? My goodness.

Come on over with me. I'll take you. I'll make a lot of money on you. Come

Let's go.

Not even undressed yet.

You'd better come up with the right answer this time, buddy.

For example, where is Amal's villa?

Amal's villa?

Yeah, we think that's where they're holding the ambassador's son.

Amal's villa is on Lake Cosmo.

Well, how do we get there?

Swim.

You think it's safe telling this guy where Stuart's son might be?

What if he's not on the level and he's using us to locate the son so that he

grab him?

You're right.

Then we'd better act fast.

Come on, girls, get up. It's an emergency.

Come on, get up. Let's get going.

We think we've found out where Stuart's son is.

Yeah, come on, but we have to get there by morning. Come on.

I'm reading this huge sign.

There is no huge sign.

No shit, Sherlock. We are lost.

No,

this isn't a public expedition. They didn't tattoo it on my ass.

Yes, we would, wouldn't we? What's going on?

What'd you stop for?

We are lost.

We're not lost.

We're heading in the right direction.

Well, couldn't you figure this out back at the hotel room?

No, I left my Atlas at home. Thank you.

Come on girls. Let's just keep going

I don't see anything yet.

Do you see anything yet?

No, I don't see anything yet. Do you see anything yet?

I don't see anything yet. Do you see anything yet? I don't see anything yet.

Keep driving. We don't see anything yet.

Get out of here. You're it, kid. Let's go.

I wonder if there's anything in the water.

You'll break your soul.

Taylor, come on.

This isn't very comfortable.

Oh, hell in here.

Hey,

it's dark in here.

Oh, shit, Sherlock.

It's wet in here.

I'm trying, man. My knees are hurting.

Let's just tell my friend.

What's holding you guys up?

in this mess.

Be careful up here, you guys.

Does anybody know where this tunnel leads to?

Any other way.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Are you Jack?

Are you Jack Stewart?

Too late for this guy. He's dead.

Come on, this is him. Let's go.

Come on, come on. Hurry up.

Hurry up.

You want to see another Big Bang?

Aren't you supposed to light it?

I forgot something.

Bye -bye.

The girls are here, Stuart.

Mr. Ambassador.

Show them in, please, Adam.

All right.

Remember, it's Tuesday.

Is our date on as usual?

Of course.

Okay, great, thanks.

You can go right in.

They're here.

Good show.

Congratulations. Thank you so much.

Good show.

Thank you so much for getting this.

Good show.

Well,

everything worked out fine.

Here's your money.

Not quite.

At least not unless you want a repetition of the kidnapping.

Or worse.

What does that mean?

Jack's back to safety and the girls did a remarkable job. Yeah, what's all this

about, Jen?

Didn't any of you wonder how the terrorists knew every move we made?

Well, I wondered how we kept getting fake instructions every night by phone.

Then the next day we'd go out and wipe out a bunch of Arabs, but they weren't

terrorists.

Then we'd go back to the hotel and get another phone call from Deep Throat, and

then we'd go out and wipe out another innocent group of Arabs.

Are you saying that one of us is an enemy agent?

That one of us risked all your lives? That one of us masterminded the

kidnapping? Yes, Tim, that's exactly what I'm saying.

But why?

Why would any of us stand to gain?

I don't believe there's any truth in your accusations.

It sounds ridiculous.

I think it's best we leave the subject alone and be glad everybody got back

safely. Yeah, I agree. Now, this is preposterous. Now, I know you've been

a lot of pressure lately, and I don't blame you, but indicating that one of us

is an enemy agent, well, that's gone too far.

He's right, Jan.

You're going off the deep end. Let's just take our money and get the hell out

here. If you'd like that, wouldn't you, Tina?

Take the easy way out. No more scrapes, no more problems.

Just get our money and get it over with.

Jan, you flipped.

None of us here is a terrorist.

Anna, why don't you call the girl?

Yes, why don't you, Ann, or Anton, or whatever your name is?

Just back off a minute, all right? Would you let me explain?

How did you know it was Ann or Andy?

It had to be someone in our immediate group.

Quite frankly, Ann or Andy was the only one beyond suspicion.

Besides yourself, Mr. Ambassador.

Well, thank you a lot, Jan.

Really, Jan. That's really great.

I'm sorry, gang.

But thanks to those weird midnight phone calls, I wasn't even sure of myself.

Well, how did you finally zero in on Ann or Andy?

when I went to the ladies' room right after Ann or Andre had left. The

ladies' room?

Yeah, the toilet seat was up.

Well, everybody knows that a man has to lift the toilet seat to go to the

bathroom.

Listen, you girls take Ann or Anthony downtown to police headquarters. Okay,

come on.

Wait a minute. What is your name?

Fred, don't you know you'll be executed as a traitor?

Nobody lives forever.

Let go. Come on.

I'm shocked.

It just goes to show you can work with a person and never really get to know

him.

How about a quiet dinner together soon?

To get better acquainted.

I'd like that, Dad.

Mind if I bring a friend along?

Not at all. In fact...

Let's bring a few friends along.

How about it, Jan? How about a little dinner and conversation?

Okay. But give me two years to change.

Come on, Jan. Be reasonable.