Original subtitles

23.976 English part 1

Is it your wish to remain a housekeeper forever?

No, it is not.

Then why won't you give me an answer?

Just a little longer. I need to be sure.

How long, Mary? Until summer, I suppose?

Until summer.

Then you'll say autumn, then Christmas.

I have been patient. What more must I do?

I treat Thomas like my own son.

You've been kind. I'm not ungrateful.

- I'm just not ready. - When will you be ready?

Mary, he's dead - gone.

One day you'll have to accept that. You have to think of the future.

Thomas needs a father.

I will press you no further for the moment.

But if you keep this...

Well...

I will take it to mean "yes".

Shh, shh... It's all right.

It's only the wind.

Shh.

I'm home now. Let it all go away.

ABANDON SHIP!

SHE'S GOING DOWN!

Mary!

Mary!

Never give up hope, that's my motto. Always has been, always will be.

You remember that winter's morning? We thought we'd never find anything.

When suddenly, out of the blue, we find a treasure!

We found one boot with an 'ole in it.

Yeah, but this morning we might find the matching boot!

It was five years ago, Dad.

I don't know.

You haven't got scrap in your heart, that's your...trouble.

- What's that, then? - I don't know.

It don't look like a bomb.

Oh, my God!

Dad! Look!

He's waking up!

Don't move, giant!

AAAAAARRGGHH!

AAAAAARRGGHH!

Oh! Oh, look! They're everywhere!

Lilliputians everywhere!

- Oh! - You're hurting me!

Oh!

Oh, forgive me. I'm so sorry.

You're frightened of me, of course you are.

I must appear terrifying to you, so huge, so monstrous.

Don't be frightened.

Look, I'll...I'll whisper.

Have you fallen from the heavens? You the Man in the Moon?

I mean, where've you come from?

I'll tell you what, Dad. This could be the making of us.

We're going to be rich!

Oh, no!

Here comes the army!

Halt! Get away from it! It's a trap!

It's not a man at all, it's a war machine, filled with Big-Enders!

Any minute they're going to pour out!

- I can assure you, sir... - Fire at will!

No, no - please!

Ow!

Ow! Get away!

Get...! Ow!

No! Don't touch me!

Don't come too near me, I beg you.

Have you slept here all night?

I haven't slept at all! I was swimming for most of the night.

Put that down!

Who is this boy?

This is Tom. He is your son.

My son?

I was pregnant when you went away.

How long have I been away?

They said your ship was lost.

How long have I been gone?

Nearly nine years.

Food for the giant! Make way! Food for the giant!

When will this army burst out of his stomach?

Be quiet, son!

What do you know about military strategy, you country oafs?

We never see food like that. You tell him to eat seaweed soup!

One more word and I'll have you flogged.

Forgive his impertinence, sir, please.

Greetings, brother! I fear the worst. The Big-Enders must have sent him.

He's state property.

We found him! He's salvage!

You're under arrest for treason!

- You can't do that! - Not to us!

I'll summon the entire fleet. We must notify the Emperor.

I was so hungry but it took hours and hours to eat anything at all.

I had to swallow about a dozen loaves just to get one mouthful.

I ate cows and pigs and chickens completely whole, bones and all.

I had to drain at least eleven barrels of wine

before my thirst was satisfied.

I don't understand - why was the food so tiny?

Because of the Lilliputians.

Yes, that's right! There were hundreds of them.

They were dragging tiny timbers and tree trunks towards me.

They must have cleared a whole forest. I heard banging and sawing

and I realised they were building this massive wooden frame.

Then horses arrived - ten, twenty, thirty -

there must have been a hundred.

They were using them to drag me.

Lemuel, you're not making any sense.

Well, maybe it was the wine, but suddenly, I started to feel...

very strange.

They're pulling me!

They're pulling me along!

Why...?

Go and find Joshua - anybody - quickly.

Take him into the surgery - quickly.

- Why have you tied me up? - Nobody's tied you up, Lemuel.

Mind his head. Where did you find him?

He slept in the stable. Tom found him.

Over there. Quickly, now.

The procession halted outside the Emperor's palace.

Why have we stopped?

Make way, make way! Let all bow before Golbasto Momaren Evlame

Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, Delight and Terror of the Universe,

whose dominions extend 5,000 blustrugs,

whose feet press down to the centre,

and whose head strikes against the sun,

the most mighty Emperor of Lilliput.

Well, you weren't exaggerating!

He's a whopper!

He's under constant guard, Father. He's dead if he makes a move.

Does he talk?

He has a limited vocabulary, Father.

How does one address him?

Man Mountain is the usual term, Your Majesty.

Good evening, Man Mountain!

Good evening, Your Excellency!

Splendid!

Who are these two?

Caught trying to steal the giant.

That's a lie! We found him! He belongs to us!

No, no, no. You see, we don't want him.

We were going to donate him to the war effort.

Traitors, are they? Hmmm...

Let's feed them to the giant!

An excellent test of his ferocity!

Don't eat me and I'll be your friend for life!

I'll see you're all right! Partners, you and me - what do you say?

My son! My son!

The giant has shown mercy.

How marvellous.

We, however, will not.

Have them both disembowelled at dawn.

Well, I don't think that's wise, Your Majesty.

He can't have slept for days.

Certainly his mind is extremely disturbed.

It's so wonderful. I...I'd given up all hope.

Had you?

- I didn't mean... - No, of course not.

It's a miracle that he has returned to us. Now we must let him rest.

We gave him enough to feed a regiment for a week - now he's hungry again.

I have a projection from my Treasury,

based on the multiplication of his body weight.

He is going to consume the rations of 1,728 of your subjects every day.

Every day?!

We can't have that.

Let's kill him.

No, no, no. The decomposing corpse! It could cause a serious plague.

If we continue feeding him, we'll have a famine.

Is he secure?

Absolutely, Majesty. Army matter.

Until he decides to escape.

Your Majesty.

Man Mountain!

Where's my dearest wife?

Er... She's a little nervous of meeting our new arrival, Majesty.

Sweetmeat?! Please come out and have a look!

How are you today, my chick?

Pale, my husband. Pale and fearful.

Oh, how brutish he looks.

Ask him to descend.

Down 'ere!

Gently now!

To me... Whoa!

He's staring at me! He has a horrible leering expression.

Oh, really! He's in chains!

He might bite.

On the contrary, Empress, I should like to kiss your beautiful hand.

How charming!

- No! - Yes!

Bring towels and a bucket!

I think his lips were a bit wet!

Please forgive me, Your Majesty.

Where does he sleep?

Well, nowhere, Your Majesty. We're organising a bed.

600 beds, to be precise.

I have the figures here - 144 blankets, 322 sheets...

Thank you, Your Majesty.

Majesty? What majesty?

Lower your voice. If you speak loudly, they'll be frightened.

Get up, man! Get up off the floor!

I asked him to release me.

- Asked who? - The Emperor.

Dr Gulliver, I must insist...

He had a great desire for me to see the magnificence of his palace.

I trod very carefully for fear of harming any stragglers.

I wore only my waistcoat so I did no damage to the roofs with my coat.

The palace was a magnificent construction,

standing 60 feet high to the Lilliputians.

'In the courtyard, I observed the splendour of the Royal Household.

'The Empress herself was in attendance

and pleased to smile graciously upon me.'

Get away from me, you horrible monster!

Shoo!

Shoo!

Well, he lives in a big crater on the moon,

eating mostly fruit and...cheese.

He's a fascinating chap, with many wondrous stories to tell.

I'm the only one he'll confide in, of course.

You will not believe this - I have got my own bedroom...

with pillows.

Have you got pillows in your room?

And a bell to ring, should I want anything in the night.

'Course the trouble is I, er... I can't sleep in the bed,

because my feet are too dirty.

En garde!

Allow me, Your Majesty.

What a wonderful room!

What is this place?

This is the Chamber of War,

from which the Emperor directs his campaign

against the evil empire that confronts us.

At first, we thought you a weapon of the Big-Enders, our sworn enemy!

Forgive my ignorance, Excellency, but who are Big-Enders?

- Why are they your sworn enemy? - Well, because, er...

- Boys, explain. - Er, yes, of course.

Er... it's very simple.

We're Little-Enders and the enemy are Big-Enders.

But what does Big-Enders or Little-Enders mean?

There's a subversive tone to his questioning.

I agree. Are you an agitator?

Certainly not.

Easy to say.

The Lilliputians competed for public office in a most strange manner.

Promotion was not given for bravery or service to the state,

but for skill at the noble art of "creeping and leaping".

- What are you looking at? - Shh!

The Emperor is demanding my presence.

'This ceremony was presided over by the Emperor in his throne room.

'The candidates undertake a trial of dexterity such as I have not seen

'in any other country of the Old or New World.

'The Emperor holds a stick, both ends parallel to the horizon,

'while the candidates sometimes leap over the stick

'and sometimes creep under it as the stick is raised or lowered.

'Whoever shows the greatest skill at leaping and creeping

'is rewarded with the highest office.'

Come on, my son.

Ah, yes, my son!

Bravo! Somebody bring him a sash.

We'll make him... oh...

Has the old Chancellor been executed yet?

The last member of the old Cabinet, Your Majesty.

Oh, good - we'll make this chap the new Lord Chancellor.

- Was he really executed? - Who?

The old Lord Chancellor.

Most people were.

I found you some clothes.

Who is that man?

What is he doing in our house?

It isn't our house any more.

Doctor Bates has paid for much of Tom's upkeep.

But now he owns the house.

He runs your old practice and I am his housekeeper.

Mary?

Excuse me.

I want you downstairs for your supper.

Don't be frightened of me.

Come along.

I don't want to seem indelicate, but where is he going to stay?

- I thought he'd stay here. - For a while, but what will he do?

I am the doctor now, there's no work

and he is - forgive me - suffering from some form of mania.

He is exhausted and... and clearly troubled...

I accept his behaviour is strange...

Mary.

It is a joyous thing that he has returned

and we must give thanks for it.

- Where are you going? - I...I cannot sleep here.

Lemuel, I understand.

We are like strangers, meeting again for the first time.

NO! NO! NO!

Don't touch me. I can't bear you too near me!

Please, you'll wake Tom.

You cannot understand where I've been.

Tell me what's wrong. Help me to understand.

Please.

You're frightening me.

I will sleep in Tom's room, if you wish. I am used to it.

Mary, please believe me, I want to come home, but I cannot.

I cannot!

I CANNOT!

The Emperor mounted the most impressive military parade ever,

with all the imperial troops passing between my legs.

Sightseers came from all over Lilliput.

Women and children, farmers and teachers, lawyers and midwives,

all lining the street to gape and stare.

There had been other military parades before, but none with...

Well, with me.

The money is rolling in.

We can approve unprecedented military expansion.

What if he falls on us?

Darling, no harm can befall you.

I've organised every last detail.

I understand his trousers are ragged on account of the shipwreck

and I must warn Your Ladyship that under no circumstances

should you look upward as we drive underneath him.

Here we go, everybody!

Blimey!

Unbelievable!

Oh...!

Colossus!

I want you to stop this, now.

- Stop what? - All this! All these stories!

Just be normal again!

I'm telling him what happened.

Well, I don't want you to!

Is it your wish for me to lose my position and my home?

That's what will happen if you persist in this nonsense!

This is intolerable!

How can I concentrate while he's charging about like an idiot?

Get rid of that monster!

My darling walnut, do you know how much money his parade raised

for the war effort today?

He is very ill, Mary.

I have to say that I am worried for the child.

The ideas that he's putting into his head are not proper - or Christian.

But what can we do?

I'll take him to a hospital

where they help people who are sick like this.

- He'll never agree. - Leave that to me.

This has just arrived, Admiral.

Bad news?

The Big-Enders have built a new war fleet!

I knew it!

We must move our troops...

Father, give nothing away.

- Big-Ender spies are everywhere. - Not in my own campaign room?

Especially here. The walls have ears.

Man's a bloody menace.

How substantial is their fleet?

Warships with 500 cannons.

But our biggest ships have only 50.

Their warriors would rather die than surrender!

Ours would rather surrender than die.

What shall we do?

Have half our farmers build warships.

Increase the army by 600,000 men

and construct a 40-foot wall around Lilliput.

We did both those last month!

We have held back our greatest weapon for long enough.

I was summoned to the Emperor and told the very future of Lilliput

depended upon my courage and ingenuity.

A massive invasion fleet stood poised, ready to attack,

and only I stood in its way.

I scoured the land for the thickest ropes and cables

and bent a number of iron bars into hooks, like this.

Bravo!

That night, I waded across the channel separating the two empires,

and in the last yard, took a great breath and dived underwater.

I made it! I made it!

The sailors screamed in terror when they saw me.

Most of them abandoned ship and jumped overboard.

Lemuel, don't!

Nothing could stop me.

I started off to Lilliput, dragging the entire fleet behind me.

Put the child to bed.

- What's wrong? - Do as you're told.

But, I...

Trust my judgement on this. Do as I request.

Give me your hand, Doctor.

'My glorious victory was the cause of much rejoicing throughout the land.'

'Thousands rushed to meet me

'and there was a great cheer of relief and celebration!'

Marvellous! Marvellous!

The end of the war!

Peace and prosperity!

Ha-ha-ha!

For doing what our greatest Generals and Admirals could not,

you are awarded our greatest honour!

Pageboy!

What is our greatest honour?

The Order of Nardac, Majesty.

The Nardac?!

But, Father, General Limtoc and I are only Clumglums!

How will it look to our men if he has a higher honour?

Father, a word.

I fear the job is worse than half done.

I agree. He brought home the enemy's ships,

but could he bring home the enemy themselves?

The monster must prove his loyalty by killing all Big-Enders -

every last man, woman and child.

I think you should return and destroy what remains of the enemy.

There's no need to crush them completely, Your Majesty.

I'm sure they will make a dignified surrender.

My husband gave you an order!

With respect, we've won the war, there is no more threat.

We've won!

We need to talk.

Mmm.

That night, I must confess, I got very drunk.

I had been told that I emptied the royal cellars of everything

save twelve barrels of sweet cider.

I dunno, I'm working harder now than I ever did.

- Let me fill your glass. - Thank you, it's full.

The thing was, they'd been fighting this ridiculous war for generations

and none of them had the slightest clue what they were fighting about.

I know.

They'd been at war for years and not a single Lilliputian knew why.

No, no, I mean I know how the war started.

You know?

I know what my grandmother told me.

When the Emperor's great-great grandfather were a little boy,

he were eating a egg for his breakfast one day.

When, breaking it off at the larger end, he cut one of his fingers.

His father the Emperor - that's the 23rd Emperor, that is -

he published a law commanding everybody

to break their eggs off at the smaller end.

Ha!

Some Lilliputians said "We are going to break our eggs at the big end."

"Just you try to stop us!" which is exactly what the Emperor did.

Eventually, the rebels fled across the water to Blefescu

and thus began the great and terrible war.

We have had 11,000 people suffer death,

rather than submit to breaking their eggs at the smaller end.

Do you smell burning?

THE EMPRESS IS TRAPPED!

SAVE MY BELOVED!

'A firework had set light to the palace

'and Her Imperial Majesty's apartments were ablaze.

'The Lilliputians had already applied their ladders to the palace walls

'and were well provided with buckets but the water was at some distance.

'Anyway, the ladders were not tall enough.

'So it seemed wholly desperate.

'The palace would have been burned to the ground and the Empress with it,

'if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly had an idea.

'I was still full from my drinking session,

'and, looking down on the royal bedchamber,

'only one course of action seemedopen to me.'

Ah!

Thank you! Thank you! You have saved my life!

Ahem...

Oh, thank you.

AAAAAAGGGHHH!

It's an outrage!

He made water in the royal grounds!

- It's treason! - But he saved the Empress's life.

Our stepmother will never be able to show her face again,

convinced that she's the laughing stock of Lilliput.

But she's not, though...

is she?

And he openly defied your command to attack the Big-Enders.

- He humiliated you! - You're right! You're right!

We must execute him.

Execute him?! You can't do that!

Well, I mean, we must consider all the options.

Are you with us, Lord Chancellor, or with the monster?

We'll spread poison on his shirt

which will make him tear his own flesh apart.

Then I'll get a thousand men to fire poisoned arrows in his face.

Good plans, boys, but I don't think we should actually murder him.

You were so keen to kill Mother last year, and I miss her dreadfully.

You're both too impulsive.

But I agree, something must be done.

Something merciful.

We'll dig out both his eyes.

Oh, I don't know. Just the eyes?

It doesn't seem very much to me.

When he's blinded, he'll be much more obedient, and even more courageous,

because he won't see any danger!

That way...

Are we all here?

Where's the new Chancellor gone?

Wake up!

Wake up!

The Generals are plotting to kill you! You must escape!

I'm a war hero, I just saved the Empress's life.

Don't go to sleep!

I can't stay here! They'll kill me, too, if they find out.

WAKE UP!

Oh...!

'I had escaped, but to where?

'Where could I go? Would I just swim out to sea until I drowned?'

'With Clustril's help, I hid from the Emperor's soldiers.

'That night I pulled up hundreds of trees to make a small raft,

'while Drunlo collected every bed sheet for miles around,

'and I began to sew them together to make a sail.'

Thank you for saving my life. Sorry if...

Don't you talk to me.

I had it all in the palm of my hand - wealth, power, respect...

Look at me now, eh? Back to seaweed soup.

I'd like to leave you a gift.

My ring.

Oh, marvellous

What do I want your ring for, eh? I can't wear it, can I?

It's... It's...

It's gold.

I'm rich!

You always treated me good, you was always my friend.

I'm rich! Dad, I'm rich!

Never mind that, son.

Never mind that.

I think I've found the other boot!

This isn't right.

It's done now.

I feel as if I've betrayed him.

You know it's the right thing to do.

The doctors at the hospital are very caring people. Drive!

'For seven days and nights I sailed without sighting land.

'My supplies had run desperately low and I was losing all hope.

'I was forced to eat my carefully gathered supplies,

'until only one sheep remained.'

Land!

'Land! No matter if it was more tiny people, at least it was land!'

Where are we?

Don't worry. I'm taking you somewhere you'll be safe.

If I could have your signature here, Dr Bates.

I think we can leave the rest of the formalities till tomorrow.

GIANTS!

GIANTS!

NO-O-O-O-O-O!

Really, is this behaviour absolutely necessary?

Mother Earth! It's an omen!

It's an omen!

Have you found something, Grultrud?

Nothing. Back to work.

- Perhaps he's a hobgoblin. - He's nothing of the kind.

He's a sign from Mother Earth, to show we'll have a fine harvest.

I'm going to give him some meat.

'Giants.

'And so ugly!

'Their skin was so crinkled and pocked and boil-infested,

'it made me wonder how I appeared to the Lilliputians.'

It's just a little dog. Don't be a coward. Down!

Let me out of here! There's been some terrible mistake.

Oi! You in there! Keep quiet!

Come and stand by me.

This is my daughter, Glumdalclitch.

He's lovely.

Who's going to take care of him, I wonder?

Can I? Can I have him to keep?

He's a grand little fellow.

He can do tricks as well, I expect.

Do us a dance.

We could make a lot of money with this little fella.

What is this place?

A hospital.

Since when do hospitals have bolted doors?

It's a hospital for people with sick minds.

Well, there's nothing wrong with me.

That is for us to ascertain.

I don't like this box. Where are you taking me?

What are you talking about?

Come and see the Wee Wonder - the Spirit of the Cornfield.

Come and see him.

The Wee Wonder. Spirit of the Cornfield.

'Brob-ding-nag'?

Yes.

And what part of the world is this Brobdingnag in?

I don't know, I was completely lost.

And this little girl was carrying you?

In the travelling box that they'd made me.

You have to imagine yourself as only as tall as my hand.

If you were to lie on the floor. I'm not trying to make a fool of you.

See how different the world looks?

Well, imagine everything you know is now huge...

monstrous.

Hush!

If we make too much noise, the sprite may not come out.

He's a timid little fella.

Mind that none of you look him direct into the eye - he might curse you.

Who summons the Spirit of the Cornfield?

Oh, I do.

I need your wisdom, O Spirit!

Show me gold and thou shall be told!

It's... It's my radishes, O Spirit of the Cornfield!

O Spirit, we beseech you

to rid these vegetables of their cursed affliction.

And then I'd pretend to go into this - this fit, like this, you see.

# London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down

# London Bridge is falling down

# My fair lady! #

The Spirit has spoken!

Your radishes will be the plumpest in the entire country.

Next!

And you believed you were possessed by this spirit?

No, of course not! We were just doing it to make money.

Why didn't you try to escape?

I was helpless.

My destiny was out of my hands.

That's all for tonight. He'll perform again at daybreak.

I am the Queen's lady-in-waiting.

I don't care, I am off to sleep.

I was wondering if the little gentleman might be for sale?

My little magician? No.

I am authorised to offer you a considerable sum.

No amount of money is going to part the two of us.

I have here 500 pieces of gold.

Do you want to take him tonight?

I begged the farmer not to part me from Glumdalclitch,

the only person who really cared for me.

He agreed, happy to see his daughter brought up in the royal household.

We travelled with the lady for several hours,

until we reached the palace.

Beware ye all, large or small!

Once in a lifetime a man will appear, smaller than all others,

and he will be a lucky charm, a talisman for crops,

bringing strong sunshine and sweet rain for the harvest!

Such a man is - me!

Am I or not the smallest person in the kingdom?

Can any man look up to me?

I'm a shrimp, a worm, an ant, a tadpole, a grub.

Am I short? I'm minuscule.

I'm dinky, dainty, diminutive, I'm titchy, tiny, I'm so small...

Your Majesty.

'Royalty at last!

'No more riding on a donkey cart. Here was the Queen.'

I threw myself at her feet, the only part of her I could reach,

and I kissed her toe and addressed her in the normal manner...

Most Glorious Empress, O Adornment of Nature, the Darling of the World,

Delight of your subjects, the Phoenix of Creation.

And this queen, she was also a giant?

They were all giants! Even the dwarf was a giant!

Well, Grildrig,

it seems you are no longer the smallest man in the kingdom.

Look, Your Majesty...

Yes, yes, later, Grildrig.

We have a new jester!

Her Majesty and I chatted for a while,

and she was impressed with such wit and good sense

in so diminutive a person.

For the first time since arriving in this awful place,

I felt amongst equals,

and knew from now on I would be treated with respect.

He's a monstrosity!

No, he is a midget, albeit a uniquely small one.

You're both wrong - he's a clockwork toy.

I've no doubt we can find the hole in his back if we look carefully enough.

Take your hands off me!

There's been some terrible mistake. There's nothing wrong with me.

Let me leave, please.

His eyes are constantly moving and he sweats extremely.

Why don't you like being touched?

I just don't. I don't need a reason.

He's very restless, his mood changes all the time

and his speech is eccentric - full of fantasy.

From the teeth, I'd say he's a carnivore.

Even tiny animals like fieldmice could overpower him.

He lacks the claws for climbing and digging.

Perhaps we should try mating him with a small animal.

Perhaps we should not! This is outrageous!

Gentlemen, please listen to me.

I come from a civilised country

which abounds with several million people of my own stature,

where the houses and trees are in proportion.

I have no trouble feeding myself or protecting myself.

I am a man, just like you.

That farmer taught him to say all this!

You can't keep me here! Where's my wife and son?

You may shout as much as you wish in here. It is something we expect.

But that, I'm afraid, is where your rights end.

Put her to bed for a day or two if the symptoms persist.

I have no more patients today, Mary. We can leave, if you're ready.

I won't be gone long.

Why can't I come?

You can come next time. Clear all this away before I get home.

I wish I could dissuade you from visiting him yet.

Please don't expect any dramatic improvements.

In our country we also have very high taxes.

It keeps people in their place.

We have no taxes.

But everyone is bringing you the fruits of their labour.

They are shared between the whole kingdom fairly.

Amongst the higher classes, you mean?

No, we have enough food to feed everybody.

A farmer brings his crop, and takes home some of his neighbour's.

Each takes his share, and no one goes hungry.

But, unless some people are starving,

how can there be structure to society?

What do your Ministers say about this?

Ministers?

Each village sends a farmer

and we decide what is best for the common good.

The common good?

Yes.

Grildrig's new job is to feed the rotten produce to the pigs.

Oh, dear, I hope he doesn't bear me any malice.

Grildrig!

You're not jealous of our new jester, are you?

Oh, My Lady, nothing could be further from the truth.

Like yourself, I've taken a special shine to the little chap.

I want to see whoever is in charge. I demand to be let out!

Enter!

I've got a surprise for you.

- Shall I open it? - Thank you.

'Dear little Glumdalclitch, she clearly adored me.

'She enjoyed dressing me and undressing me, like a doll,

'even though I could manage for myself.'

Oh, Glum! It's beautiful.

- Does this feel like your home now? - Not really.

- My house isn't quite this big. - Will you take me there?

- So I can meet your queen? - I will. We'll go to the theatre.

And what will we do before we go? Tell me everything we'll do.

Well, first, we'll walk through the park

and bow to the ladies and gentlemen.

Dressed in our finest clothes.

The very finest.

And then we will sit and we'll take tea.

Chocolate - can I have chocolate?

Ah, chocolate, certainly. A very fashionable choice, Milady.

And I'll buy you presents. Lots of presents.

A doll's house even bigger than this one.

The children will love it!

If we're married, we'll have children, won't we?

Glum, how old are you?

Eleven, but I'm growing very fast.

I already have a wife, Glum.

Oh.

In...

In England.

You said it was a hospital - this is more like a prison.

I don't like it any more than you do.

But some of the patients become...disturbed.

It's necessary to keep them securely.

Mary? Thank God you're here. I've got to get out of this place.

You have come to take me home?

Well, we... We thought it best you had a chance to recover first.

Have the doctors seen you yet?

Yes, but they don't understand.

They know nothing about England so they've no idea of my intelligence.

They don't know about England?

Well, why should they? They've never been there.

That's what I have to do! Bates, call the doctors.

I have to tell them everything.

Then they'll stop treating me like a child. Call them back!

'I began a massive lecture

'to explain the difference between their simple farming life

'and our complex, sophisticated society.

'I extolled the virtues of our great government, education and arts,

'our courts and their great wisdom.

'I mentioned the valour of our army and navy,

'and our great colonies and conquests.'

My remarkable lecture lasted five audiences with the Queen -

each one lasting several hours.

She was most attentive and requested a sixth audience,

no doubt to praise my eloquence and to beg my forgiveness.

- I have some questions. - Questions, Your Majesty?

Questions.

These Ministers who run your country, how do they get to be Ministers?

Usually a sum of money decides the issue.

How do they gain knowledge of their people?

They don't need much knowledge -

they spend their time drinking and gambling.

You've mentioned gambling.

At what age is this entertainment taken up?

Sixteen or seventeen.

- And at what age is it put down? - Sixty or, or...seventy.

In your courts,

how much time is spent in determining between right and wrong?

Trials last weeks or months, at great cost to those involved.

Doesn't that mean the poor have no recourse to the law?

Well, the poor are too busy working to need justice.

Do your lawyers ever plead cases which they know to be wrong?

Of course! That's their job!

It amuses you to mock our institutions?

No, I was trying to defend them.

Your taxes raised more than five or six million,

yet the state spends double that!

How can a kingdom spend more than it receives in taxes?

Well, that's simple. We just borrow more from ourselves.

Don't try to make fools of us.

But it's the truth!

- And your wars... - Our wars?

Why are you always attacking people?

Why leave your shores, unless to trade?

Often we must defend ourselves by attacking before we're attacked,

thus gaining the element of surprise.

And this 'standing army' of yours - why is it standing?

In the midst of peace,

why do you need such a massive force of weapons and men?

I... I... I don't...

I began to crumble, to lose my way. I stuttered and hesitated...

Really, I have heard enough.

But I haven't finished yet. The whole purpose of...

I said I've heard enough!

The history of your country seems to consist

of nothing more than a squalid string of conspiracies,

rebellions, revolutions murders and massacres.

Every judgement seems to be motivated by greed, by malice,

hypocrisy, hatred, envy, lust and madness.

Perhaps I explained badly.

We shall examine you again next month. In the meantime...

Next month?! What are you talking about?

Haven't you heard a word I've said?

You have proved that ignorance, idleness and vice

are the only qualifications for public office,

and that your laws are made by those who pervert them.

I can only conclude that your people are the most pernicious race

of odious little vermin

that ever nature suffered to crawl upon the face of the Earth.

Your Majesty.

Stay with him, Mary.

Let me talk to the doctors and plead for his release.

Don't despair, Lemuel.

A month!

Don't lose hope!

- Let me talk to you. - I don't belong here.

I'm the laughing stock of the entire country.

I think you're very clever.

We could think of something that would impress the Queen.

Perhaps if I juggle bananas with my feet,

that would raise my social standing.

You must know something they don't.

I know hundreds of things they don't!

They know nothing of music, of politics, of culture, or...

Gunpowder?

What is 'gunpowder'?

Never mind that. Take this list of ingredients.

Now - mix them in the quantities that I have described there.

The harvest festival was the perfect chance to make a good impression.

People from all over the kingdom would be coming.

A normal explosion would hardly be noticed by these giants,

so I multiplied the quantities of gunpowder tenfold.

If we only make this amount, I doubt we shall even see it.

We should increase these figures fivefold.

Tenfold, at least.

And then perhaps we'll have a proper demonstration.

Baaa-aaaa!

It's a quite extraordinary story.

He insists he was a prisoner in a land of giants.

Really? When he told me the story, he was the giant.

And you just found him wandering about the streets?

The lady brought him to my surgery.

What is the patient's name?

Just put 'Patient of Doctor Bates'.

Don't you want to see the harvest parade?

The noise will give me a headache.

Pour for me, will you?

- I wish you wouldn't drink so much. - Thank you for your concern.

And I wish I didn't have to live in this monstrous place!

Are you nervous about the bunpowder demonstration?

Gunpowder, not bunpowder!

And no, I'm not nervous, I'm fine.

Please, Glum, leave me alone.

'Why was I so horrible to her?'

She had shown me only kindness and love.

I was angry that no one would take me seriously.

Still, things would be very different after the demonstration.

Try this.

Hello, shorty.

Grildrig!

With all the noise, no one could hear me shout.

I ran to the centre of the table.

That won't do you any good.

I've been waiting a long time for this.

As I lay there, bruised, I heard this sound

and I looked up and saw Grildrig raise this...

Where are you?

No more, please...

No more?

No more?

But the best is yet to come!

- He... He... He... - What? What?!

He pulled out this tin.

Do you know what your head'll look like when a wasp stings you?

It'll swell up, bloated with pus, until it's so big it'll just pop!

Happy harvest day, squirt!

They were all around me, one over there,

two hovering around the food down there.

Lemuel, there's nothing in here!

Two left! Where are they? Where are they?

Please! I'm frightened you'll hurt yourself.

Fighting for my life. Sword against sting.

Parry, thrust, parry, thrust.

Can someone help?

I was beaten back, right to the edge of the table!

Oh, Mary! It was extraordinary. You have no idea how I felt.

I was exhausted, but...

Help us!

I killed them! I killed them!

Mary, please. He's having a fit.

Don't let them hurt him.

Why won't anyone believe me?

I can prove I'm not making it up!

Go back and find my medical bag...

He doesn't know what he's saying.

Bring me the bag! I can prove that everything happened.

Mary, it's the truth!

I'm afraid it's much worse than we thought.

I know this is hard,

but I think your very presence is making his condition worse.

But I have to see him, I can't have got him back only to lose him again.

It's the best thing.

Stop it! You can't keep me here!

I'm not mad! I can prove I'm not mad!

- Are you sure you're all right? - Yes, of course. I'm fine.

Proceed with the demonstration!

Now witness the exciting power of this substance,

created, I might add, by my 'odious' race

and seemingly unknown to even your greatest minds!

No need to cover your ears, it's just a small flash of light

and an explosion the size of a log cracking on the fire.

I know what you're thinking.

Back in the cage. Hurry up, please.

What are you doing in here?

Nothing.

You know you're not allowed in here!

It's all right, Mary, let me talk to him. You're upset.

- What were you doing in my study? - I wasn't doing anything.

I have never taken my strap to you, but don't lie to me, or I will.

You're not my father. You can't beat me.

Thomas, I don't want to beat you.

I know you were glad to see your father again.

But he's a sick man. A violent and disturbed man.

- Do you know how you can help him? - No.

By forgetting everything he has told you.

All those silly stories. All this nonsense.

He came back for a day and now he's gone away again.

We've got to know each other well and like each other, haven't we?

Yes, we have.

And soon I will be your father.

And, unlike Lemuel, I will care for you properly.

My father cares for me.

If he cared so much for you, why didn't he come home all this time?

Why did he leave your mother and you alone in poverty?

'I asked Glumdalclitch to take me to the seaside,

'where I would stare at the ocean for hours

'and think of my home and everything I had lost.

'I prayed for help, but no boat ever came past.

'Never one.'

You wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to me, would you?

How can I leave?

What will I do, flap my arms and fly away?

I know you're very homesick.

Oh, Glum, some day you'll meet someone your own size

and you'll forget all about me.

I won't. I'll never forget you.

Don't cry.

I'm not.

What were you doing in Doctor Bates' surgery?

I found the sheep.

- What are you talking about? - The little sheep from Lilliput...

There are no tiny things or giant things. They're just stories!

But I saw it...!

Go upstairs to your room!

I'm...I'm cold. Put me back in my box, please.

Glum?

Be careful!

Glum! You're hurting me!

Mama! Mama!

I told you to go to your room!

But, Mama, look - look!

Go to your room!

Now! Not another word! And stay there till I tell you to come down.

'I lost all sense of time as the bird flew on and on.

'In my last moments I thought of my dear Glumdalclitch,

'who would be blamed for my disappearance

'and would lose her place at Court.

'I felt myself falling with such incredible swiftness

'that I almost lost my breath.'

Did you look in his medical bag like he said?

Completely empty.

I don't know what to do.

Leave everything to me, Mary. I'll take care of it all.

'So this was it, then. My end, finally.

'I tried to keep my spirits high, but I realised I would surely die.

'I had no food or water, my box was sinking. No boats would pass.

'I resigned myself to my...'