Original subtitles

I'm calling a surprise Indian alert drill, Dobbs.

That's the second time this week, sir.

I know. But in the event of an Indian attack,

the state of readiness of the men of F Troop

can mean the difference between life and:

What's that, sir?

That is a lock of General Custer's hair.

He never called a surprise Indian alert drill.

Hey, sarge. Mm? Mm?

You hear something? I...

Oh, yeah. It s... It sounds like a bugle.

Ha-hm-hm.

Shall we try the tom-toms, sir?

Well, it didn't work last time.

Maybe I had the wrong beat.

That's why I prepared something more drastic.

Fifty-five, 56, 57...

Indians!

Indians!

Hey!

Uh, F Troop all present and accounted for, sir.

Thank you, sergeant.

Congratulations, men.

This was a surprise Indian alert drill.

And you have assembled in record time.

We'd have been dead for 20 minutes.

It's still a record.

Last time we were dead for an hour and a half.

Captain.

There's a suspicious-looking wagon

parked on the outskirts of town.

Oh? What makes you say the wagon

is suspicious-looking, Duffy?

When I tried to get closer, a man jumped out with a rifle,

yelled something in a foreign language.

Well, that makes the man suspicious all right,

but the wagon could be perfectly harmless.

Captain, sir.

I think maybe you'd better send out a scouting party.

That's a good idea, sergeant.

You and Corporal Agarn go have a look and report back to me.

Yes, sir. Oh, but before you do,

you and the men had better put out

the fires in your barracks.

I didn't wanna alarm the captain

but we may be on the trail

of an international spy.

Don't come no closer.

Yeah, we're soldiers. United States Army.

You not from Il Piede Nero?

We don't even know what that means. Yeah...

Friends. Friends. Papa.

They say they're friends.

How do we know they're friends?

But we are friends. We're buddies, see?

I am Sergeant O'Rourke,

and this is Corporal Agarn.

We're stationed over at, uh, Fort Courage.

Pleased to meet you.

I am Signor Emilio Barberini.

And this is my daughter, Gina.

Ciao.

We'd be delighted, thanks. It smells great.

Ciao means "hello" in Italian.

Oh, but of course, you are welcome

to share our simple little meal.

It's delicious.

You like anguille marinate?

You are looking at a man

who could eat anguille marinate

every day of the week.

You mean you could eat marinated eels every day of the week?

Well... sure.

Except that this ain't the week.

In Sicily, which is our home, I have a restaurant.

I make much lire.

Did you hear that, Agarn? He makes mucha lire.

Well, What's lire? Money, money.

But we have to leave Sicily

because Mario Marcucucci, he wants to marry me.

And I do not him want to marry back.

You hear that? She doesn't him wanna marry back.

I love Mario, but he is as romantic as the cold zucchini.

All he thinks of is Piede Nero.

Il Piede Nero, Il Piede Nero.

Well, maybe he doesn't know what it means either.

Il Piede Nero is a secret society to which Mario belongs.

And when Gina don't wanna marry him, he make trouble.

He chase everybody away from the restaurant.

I sure wish I could get my hands on him.

Oh, no. He'd stab you dead.

On the other hand, it's none of my business.

Uh, Signor Barberini...

what are your plans now?

We going to San Francisco

and open up a new restaurant there.

If there's one thing San Francisco don't have,

it's an Italian restaurant.

Ooh.

Why don't you just stay on right here?

I mean, I happen to know the owner of the saloon,

and, uh, he'd be happy to have you take over the dining room.

I don't know.

Oh, you'd be a big success.

Make, uh, much lire.

It's worth a try.

Papa, what if Mario finds us here?

Gina, your worries are over.

Fort Courage is the last place Mario will look.

Agarn, this will make a gold mine

for O'Rourke Enterprises.

Every meatball a nugget.

Yeah, but first we gotta make sure

of our source of supplies.

Good thinking. Where are we gonna get supplies?

From those little old noodle makers...

the Hekawis.

O'Rourke need new business

like porcupine need new quills.

That's no way to talk, chief.

Progress is the very keynote of success. Mm.

In the race of life,

he who stands in one place is left behind.

He who seeks new horizons is rewarded

with gold-fruited affluence.

Where you learn this?

I read it on the bottom of my cereal bowl,

next to the rabbit.

Uh... What do you say, chief?

I mean, your people could be a big help.

They could make the vino.

How you make vino?

You pick the grapes

and then you stomp on them.

Stop!

Two more stomps and you not make vino,

you make rain.

Hekawis stomp on grapes all the time.

Not get vino.

Well, what do you get?

Flat, messy grapes.

What do you do with the juice?

Throw away juice. Flat, messy grapes best part.

From now on, you save the juice.

Crazy Cat say Hekawis stay out of

Italian restaurant business.

Crazy Cat not speak for all Hekawis.

Crazy Cat speak only for Crazy Cat!

Wild Eagle speak for all Hekawis.

That 'cause Wild Eagle have bigger mouth.

Decision is made. We help O'Rourke.

For it is written

that when shadow of plump squaw fall on tepee,

then he who swims in waterfall

make bark peel from birch tree.

Is that another wise old Indian saying?

No, me read it in pemmican bowl, next to buffalo.

Well, you won't be sorry, chief.

Once you taste Italian food, I'm gonna tell...

You'll know why our restaurant is gonna make a fortune.

You'll love anguille marinate. WILD EAGLE: Huh?

No like marinated eels.

How did he know?

Hekawi ancestors stand on shore

when Columbus arrive.

They have lunch together.

He's got to be kidding.

Yeah, sure.

Well, you just get to work on it

and we'll keep in touch, all right?

Eh, so long. So long.

Arrivederci.

And that's the magazine where we keep the ammunition.

And that's the stable where we keep the horses.

And that's the captain's quarters

where we... keep the captain.

Caporale, I like your fort.

Is molto bello.

We like him. Or it.

And I like you, caporale. You're not like Mario.

You would comprehend how to make amore,

Italian style, huh?

I saw an Italian opera once.

Then you know how to make the amore.

But of course. I stab myself while you cough.

Oh, Agarn. You are...

As they say in America, you are cute.

Ah, well, hello, Gina.

Buongiorno, sergente.

Agarn, aren't you supposed to be

drilling the recruits?

Just tell 'em to start without me.

Hop to it, hop to it. Hm-mm.

Uh, whoop, whoop, whoop, who.

Here we go. Over that way.

That's the door.

Well, Gina, how would you like to have me

show you around the fort?

Oh, I would adore that.

Over there is the magazine where we keep the ammunition.

Over there are the stables, where we keep the horses.

And, uh, over there is the captain's quarters.

That's, uh... That's where we keep the captain.

I like your fort, sergente.

And I like you too for being

so good to Papa and me.

For arranging the restaurant.

Oh, my pleasure. My pleasure.

And without getting anything out of it for yourself, huh?

Ah, well, I wouldn't say that's quite true exactly.

Oh, sergente, you are molto generoso.

Molto generoso? Uh?

"Very generous."

Oh, uh, sir. Sergeant.

Yeah, oh, uh, Pete over at the saloon

hired an Italian chef, sir.

This is his daughter.

Oh, I didn't know Pete had a daughter.

No, no, sir. The chef's daughter.

This is Gina Barberini.

Our Captain Parmenter.

How do you do?

Buongiorno, mio capitano.

Sergeant, I've been looking for Corporal Agarn.

Well, I think he's drilling the recruits, sir.

Well, perhaps you'd better give him a hand.

Ah... Oh, uh, yes, sir.

Uh...

Capitano. I am most anxious

to see the fort, huh?

Oh. Mm.

Well, uh, yes, of course. I...

Uh, that's the magazine where we keep the ammunition.

And that's the stable where we keep the horses.

And, uh, that's the captain's quarters, where we keep me.

Oh. Your sense of humor is as charming as you.

Hm.

Oh. Right.

E-excuse me, please.

I have to go find Sergeant O'Rourke and Corporal Agarn.

But they are busy drilling the recruits.

Yeah, but I just remembered something.

We don't have any recruits.

Excuse me.

Ow.

Wilton?

What are you doing?

Who's there?

It's me, Jane.

Oh. Oh. Of course, Jane,

I'd know your voice anywhere.

I'm practicing assembling my pistol blindfolded.

It's an exercise in the Army manual, Chapter 10.

Well, that seems silly to me.

Well, in case the Indians attack at night,

I'll be able to put my pistol together in the dark.

What would it be doing apart?

Maybe I'd better have a look at Chapter 9.

Anyhow, I baked you this pie.

Oh, wonderful.

Oh.

That smells delicious, Jane.

That's a...

Oh. And it looks delicious.

It's rhubarb pie.

I got another rhubarb pie in the oven.

Oh, good. Thank you, Janey.

Captain. Look.

Someone's been walking through the rhubarb.

Captain. I found one of these too.

Under my pillow.

Maybe the foot fairy left it.

There must be an epidemic of 'em.

Uh, where'd you find yours?

Now, you ain't gonna believe this, sarge.

But I found this foot in my foot locker.

It must be the Blackfoot Indians.

I'd know their calling card anywhere.

Coming.

Oh.

Oh!

We have come to invite you to our opening tonight.

Yes.

Because you've been so good to us.

Oh, I'm sorry, Gina, but we can't be there.

You see, the Blackfoot is on the warpath.

Well, that... The... The Black Foot?

Il Piede Nero. Eeeh.

The long hand of the Black Foot

has reached out for us.

Then this secret society of Sicily,

Il Piede Nero, means "the Black Foot?"

That's right.

And those are their warnings.

Mario has found us.

We must leave immediatamente.

Goodbye.

You're not running away from Mario anymore.

You're under the protection of the Army now.

Ain't that so, captain?

That's right.

After all, what is this one man

against the whole of F Troop? Ha.

On the other hand, we...

could always send for reinforcements.

Hey, sarge.

You think anybody will recognize me?

Agarn, you look like you just got off the boat.

Then how did you know it was me?

Listen, you're an undercover man.

Now, just get out there and do your job,

and watch out for any suspicious characters.

Go sell 'em everything you got.

Buonasera, gentlemen.

You're going to have a dinner with us tonight?

Ha-ha. Bravo.

May I suggest when you start, minestrone?

Uh, that sounds good. Yeah.

Bravo.

Four mine-strone.

Uh, wait a second, I changed my mind.

Three minestrone.

You can cancel mine too.

Two minestrone.

One minestrone?

No minestrone.

That's four... no min-estrone.

Now, how many are not gonna have spaghetti?

Four no spaghetti.

May I suggest... specialty of the house?

Yeah.

Stuffed vulture.

How much?

For four of you, 65 cents.

Oh, that's too much.

That's not too much!

The chef worked very hard to stuff the vulture.

You ever stuff a vulture?

Make you so mad, you wanna kill him.

You're going to have four stuffed vulture...

and caffè expresso... and tomato sauce.

You don't need that knife.

Our spaghetti, she's very tender.

Well, you see anybody suspicious?

Not even one suspich.

All right.

Where'd you get the knife?

That table over there.

Caporale... you forget something?

No, no.

The captain sent me back

to make sure everything was all right.

The capitano is very nice.

I would have come anyway. You're very nice too.

Gina. Beautiful, beautiful Gina.

Please, caporale, do not start with the amore.

Mario's the only man in the whole wide world

I can ever love.

And I hate him.

Gina!

Papa calls me.

Be a nice caporale and sweep for me, huh?

Mario. Mario.

Always Mario.

I wish she hated me like she hates him.

You're... You're... You're... You're the...

Mario Marcucucci.

Ba, ba, ba, ba... Ba, ba... Black Foot.

Very black.

Pleased to meet you. I was just leaving.

You're not leaving. I'm not leaving.

Not till I kill you. Not till you kill me.

Now, what would you wanna do a thing like that for?

Well, because, uh, Gina, she's in love with you,

and you are in love with Gina.

And anybody Gina, she's in love... I kill.

I'm not gonna have Gina,

everybody not gonna have Gina, capiche?

You got it all wrong. Gina ain't in love with me.

You lie.

I seen her pinch on your little cheek.

She just wanted to put a little color in my cheeks.

I was pale. I've been sick.

You lie again.

No, I'm not. Look how pale I am. See?

Here. You wanna pinch my cheek?

I don't wanna pinch your cheek.

I wanna cut out your lying tongue.

Mario... Gina don't even like me.

Why, you can even ask her.

Gina!

I'll be right out, caporale.

Don't tell her I'm here.

Oh, I don't tell her you're here.

I'm gonna hide. Yeah, you're gonna hide.

Then I find out if you lie. Oh, no.

Hey. Where do you think is a good place

for me to hide?

Behind the bar.

Ah, va bene.

Caporale, papa and I are ready to lock up,

so you can...

So... you can walk me back to the wagon.

I-I-I-I...

I can't walk you back to the wagon.

I-I... I gotta stay here and sweep.

Sweep, sweep, sweep.

Yes. Sweep me into your arms.

Gina, what are you saying?

Do not try to fight it any longer.

I don't have that much longer to fight.

Hold me closer. Hug me. Kiss me.

Gina, Mario is behind the bar.

I know. I'm trying to make him jealous.

Well, you're gonna make me dead.

Mmm.

Until tomorrow, innamorato mio.

See?

I told you there was nothing between us.

I got one final thing to say to you.

Final?

How do you do that?

You mean how do I shake like this?

No.

How do you stir up such fires of passion in my Gina?

To me, she's cold like ice.

Well... I guess some fellows have it

and some fellows don't.

Get me some.

Mario. Look, don't you understand?

In order to win Gina, you gotta be, uh...

romantic.

I am a Sicilian. I was born romantic.

Mario, a knife is not romantic.

In my neighborhood it is.

You know, Jane tells me

that girls like to hear nice things...

tender words.

Like what?

I don't know. But I can ask Jane.

No matter.

Whenever I look at Gina,

my tongue, she's... tied.

All right, maybe you could, you know, serenade her.

Ta-da!

Hm? I no can sing.

His tonsils, they're tied too.

How do you like that?

We got the only Italian

in the whole world who can't sing.

Let's see... Mario... I got an idea.

Hold it.

Oh, Mario.

I have waited for this for so long.

First, finish the song.

Later, huh?

Now.

Gina, mia, you stand right here...

and I will... finish the song.

Quick, the song. The song.

Oh-ho. Where was I?

Get the light.

I can't find the matches.

Sergeant, light the lantern so he can find the matches.

Gina, mia.

I have... to make to you... the confession.

Mario... I know it was not your singing.

Such a bad actor.

Oh, Mario.

You must love me very much to do such a foolish thing.

I always love you, Gina.

How come you never love me back, huh?

Because a woman, she cannot love someone

who needs a secret society behind him

in order to be a man.

For you, Gina,

I wash my hands of the Black Foot.

And we marry, and we go San Francisco,

and your papa open up a restaurant...

Not so fast.

First, you throw away the stupid knife.

My knife?

It's either me or the knife.

I found the matches. Oh.

The lantern.

Mario.

Here.

Hey, now... Now...

Whew.

That was close, captain.

He got you between your Santa and your Lucia.

F Troop all present and accounted for, sir.

Thank you, sergeant.

Men... you responded in the record-breaking time

of two minutes to that Indian alert drill.

Dobbs, that was Mess Call you blew.

Now, that's hitting below the belt.

Stay hungry, men.

And the Indians can never take us by surprise.

You're tardy, corporal. I'm sorry, sir.

I stopped to give directions

to an old Chinese gentleman and his daughter.

They gave me a cookie for my trouble.

Hey. There's a message inside.

Huh? What does it say? Here, let's see.

Uh, "Do not stop to give directions

to stranger and daughter."

Oh, that's ridiculous!

Uh, do you know any Chinese songs, captain?