All language subtitles for Dumb.Criminals.The.Movie.2015.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.BZ]

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Original subtitles

Hello, everyone.

It's Mr.

Rock and Roll from Malta.

I got a bloody good song for you.

It's the Rabbit Style Bop.

Mr. Dolly Stooges, there's a tale to tell.

I got a little secret to make the girlies yell.

It's similar to doggy, but it's got a twist.

Grab a naked lady and just go like this. Let's hop. Come on, Madonna.

Everybody needs bop.

What you do is you get behind the girl quickly and you give her the Rabbit

Bop. You baby is their bunny. You just jump in for fun. You hold this sexy lady

just right on the bum. You wiggle like a bunny in the summer sun.

She'll be rocking and rolling by the time you're done. Let's pop. Come on

Everybody let's hop, hop, hop.

You got to hop.

You got to get behind the big set of kids and give her the rabbit style bop.

But be careful how you use it because the girls go mad. It turns angel into

devil. Good to bad. It's all about the bunny squeezing in those cheeks.

You know it's working well when her pussy squeaks. Let's bop. Come on,

Everybody let's bop. Bop that pussy.

Get behind the big set of teeth.

And give her the rabbit style dick. That's right.

Now, I'll just go over it again.

Grab her shoulders from behind.

Move very quickly with the hips.

Backward. Forward.

Use those things. That's the rabbit style you're doing. Come on.

Faster, Madonna, faster.

Come on, quickly, quickly.

That's it, that means you're doing it. You've got the rabbit.

He's dropped till Madonna. It's a winner.

Cause they're coming for you

Fuck, it looks like he's with the fucking Mexican Mafia down there.

is this guy? I thought he was a fucking accountant.

You're talking too loud, bro. They'll hear us.

Hey, you think they can fucking hear us from all the way down there?

I fucking told you!

How's it going?

My name's Rabbit, and that's my Maori mate, Rongo.

Do you ever find yourself in situations thinking, fuck, how did I get here?

Well, that's a good question.

So I'll tell you what.

I'll take you back to the beginning so you know what the fuck's going on.

About eight months ago, these two dickhead coppers busted me and Rongo

just had a bit of fun.

I mean, what a stitch -up. It was just a bunch of small potato defenses.

So you expect me to believe that all this evidence is false and that you are

totally and utterly innocent?

I deny all your allegations, bro.

Now, here's some pre -legal advice for when you're dealing with the coppers.

Always deny fucking everything.

Then you've got half a chance.

That's not you robbing the taxi, Freddie.

Before we continue this interview, no more of this Freddie business.

My street name is Rabbit.

OK, Mr Rabbit.

And I suppose this isn't you and your friend robbing this person at the ATM.

If you're being questioned, try blaming another race that looks similar to you.

For me,

looking at that, I reckon that's two African blokes for sure.

Here's another piece of advice.

If you are doing a lot of crimes...

don't stop in at the RSL just in the middle of it. Oh, and that's not you.

No,

I'm not that strong, bro.

Then after that, you went and broke into a homeware shop.

Ram the window.

I'll use the pokey, bro.

Correct?

Allegedly. Let me get some knives. I'll jump in there.

Here's another tip for you.

When stashing knives up your shirt, make sure they're inside the box.

I think I stabbed myself.

A uniformed officer then followed a trail of blood from the homeware shop to

address that you have given as your current resident.

How did them cops know that was my blood? That's what I fucking want to

Oh, fine then. Come on in, bro.

So that's not you, eh?

That's Identity Fifth right there. Probably a hacker. And he's fucking

photoshopped my head on that random person's body.

Now just remember, it's okay to bullshit the coppers.

But make sure your story is believable.

Well, you know, like I was in the fucking Georgia River.

And a bloody one of those wobby gone sharks jumped up and fucking just took a

chunk out of me. Look at that. Shark attack, mate. Oh, fuck.

Weren't you lucky he'd only had three teeth?

Despite our best efforts of getting off, me and Longo still got teeth, Mum.

The thing about jail, bud, it's not that bad.

It's like catching up with all your old relatives.

We knew everyone.

This bloke, his name's Pottie.

He's part of our old crew.

His name says it all.

He's been bonging on since he was six years old.

And this bloke here, that's Jimmy the Junkie.

Not so much of a mate, more of an associate.

He's a junkie, but you can't judge.

He's got issues.

That's me mum, aye.

His mum's been a stripper since she was 14.

Put some fucking clothes on, cunt. My fucking friends are here.

Now, let's face it. If your mum had been flashing you since you were a kid,

you'd probably get off chops too.

Hey, fucking move over.

Yeah, move over.

Give us room.

You know, when you're in jail, no matter what you do, there's always one mutt

who's got it in for you.

Brody.

That roid -raging ape over there, he hates my gut.

His name's Tiny.

Let's go to the other fucking yard.

Now, me, Tiny, and Rongo all used to be in the Hunters.

It's an outlaw motorcycle club.

Back then, we was mates.

It was all going good, but then, like, first of all, Rongo fucked up the

president's bike.

They kicked him out.

And then I got kicked out for fucking Tiny Smith.

Is that your boyfriend?

Yeah, but he's big and too small, and he takes too many roars.

I'll admit I did root Tiny Smith the butt.

And I did have a crack at his cousin as well.

I got my nickname Rabbit because of my special rooting style. You can see it

there.

It's similar to Doggy, but there's a twist on it.

Oh, yeah.

Tiny also hates me because I rooted his mum.

But I met her on Tinder, and I just thought she was a horny cougar.

Fuck, I couldn't believe it. You know his mum, she bit a fucking little chunk

out of me scrotum.

Hey, boys, Mum's in here, eh? He was asking about you.

Where is he?

Hey, Bob, what's with all the bandages and the thing on the neck?

Fuck, cancer, mate.

This was like really shattering news to me and Rongo.

We'd known Biker Bob since we were kids.

He stepped in one day when me and Rongo were small and getting smashed by these

other kids.

Oi, leave him alone and pick on someone your own size.

And after that, he always looked out for us.

He showed us the basics in life. Like he taught us how to fight.

He taught us how to steal.

Run brakes.

He learned us everything about motorbikes and the bike away.

Accelerator. Back then, he used to ride with the hunters.

All right, so repeat after me. Ride it like you stole it.

Ride it like you stole it. All right. Thanks, Chanel.

This is me daughter.

Her mum's just fucked off to marry her cousin in Tassie, so she's living with

now, aren't you, love, hey?

Little Chanel ended up being like a sister to me and Rongo.

We used to hang out all the time.

You make sure you keep an eye out for her, right?

Now, what'd I say?

Write it like you stole it. Right, cheers.

Now, he is a bit mad, but, I mean, he's got a few odd things on his personality.

He was in that Vietnam War, and basically, whenever he's got a problem

someone or something, he just blows them up.

Dad, don't do it!

That copper shouldn't have defected me chopper, darling. So I'm going to blow

the cop shop, then he'll pull his head in, all right?

Bring it, yes?

Boys, boys, I'll be out real soon, all right? Look after Chanel, all right? And

whenever he went inside, me and Rongo would always look out for little Chanel.

Yeah, she's grown up now, working at the Pink Pussycat five nights a week, and

she's got a kid, Charlie.

Yeah, Bob loves her to bits.

There's nothing he wouldn't do for her.

All right.

Boys, I'm not going to fuck around, right?

Now, Owen used to promise me that you'll look after Chanel and little Charlie,

right?

I have me fucking Semtex now.

I tell you, I'd blow that fucking prison doctor up and then the prick of

pulling... Fucking idiot!

There's no better feeling than getting out of jail. It's even better than an

orgasm.

He lifted up the pothead to organise a lift.

There's me brother!

I don't know his real name, but we call him Drop Tang.

Could be because of his gut, or could be because he's always fucking dropping

shit.

Did you bring me Billy?

It's under the sea.

Have a go.

We couldn't wait 15 minutes. His house is only just around the corner.

No worries, mate.

He's off property. He's a good bloke, Pottie.

He's letting us all stay at his place until we can find other accommodations.

Draw a magic mushroom, brah.

You little fucking beauty.

I bagged the first shit.

You know what we need?

We need skanks.

Yeah, I smell a party bird.

There's one big advantage to having a criminal record.

That is, that ladies love a bad boy.

And look at that. It doesn't get badder.

FBI's included.

Hey, potty, can you use this thing as lube?

No, rabbit man, it's cannabis oil.

Good. Cure cancer and give me an orgasm at the same time.

I don't want to impress this gank.

Tell her you ride a motorbike.

Oh, yeah, I used to ride with the hunters.

Oh, shit, really?

You might know my Uncle Tiny.

Shit, hearing that name gave me instant shrinkage.

Who said rabbits win my fucking knees?

What do you call a duck?

A crack.

A quackhead.

What the fuck are you doing? Come on little bunny

Soft cock.

Hey, hey, no, it's not me.

It's this fucking oil.

Hey, what did your bloody channel decide to do to my cock?

What? It's gone all chilled out.

It's done.

What? All that time in jail, new chick in there, and look what I got here,

It's all relaxed.

Wake up. I better check my cock than I.

My fucking dick won't work because it's stained.

Oh, what are you doing? Shut up, Connie. You can fucking hear.

Stop snorting, boy.

Give me a head.

Hey, hey.

You haven't got some of what made him do that that I could have so I could give

some to her?

I just got some stuff off the junkie. You want to have a go?

Oh, I suppose so.

It talks as well.

Wearing my special rabbit -style mask, I felt like I was in Alice's Wonderland.

There's nothing worse than seeing people who want to kill you.

And that was the hunters that just went past.

Me and Rongo were just dropping in on Charnel to see how she was going.

Hey, what do you two want?

A beer.

Hot tequila would be good.

That's me ex.

Has it been long?

Nah, probably 20 minutes.

Wasted a fucking good bottle of JD on him.

I don't want that. I want that.

The true love of Sean Hill's life was this guy with the mullet. Spike O 'Pete

his name.

He was known as one of the most badass fucking bikers going around back then.

Wasn't scared of nothing.

Not even the coppers.

He met Chanel when she started stripping at age 17.

And yeah, he put a little half Samoan baby in her guts.

And they argued over the name. He wanted to call her Harley, like the bike. She

wanted Chanel like her own name.

But they met in the middle. They came up with Charlie.

Hey, Chanel.

I just bought a stab -proof jacket from the pub. Come help me death it. He was

tough, but not one of the sharp tools in the shed.

I can't. I've got to change the boat and I've got to get ready for me shift here

at the Pink Pussycat, don't I?

Well, that's what happens when you buy stuff from junkies down at the pub.

She was pretty cut after he died.

And since then...

She hasn't had much luck with the fellas.

I guess having an old man like Bob and a boyfriend like Pete, well, that's a

tough act to follow, eh?

You just got to keep it on, keep your arm nice and straight, all right?

But it's annoying.

Yeah, darling, I know that, honey, but you've just got to do it, all right?

Rongo and me hadn't seen the girls for ages, so we were shocked to see little

Charlie like that.

The doctors found she had a rare medical condition, and in Australia they didn't

have the drugs for it yet.

So if she was going to get cured, she had to go overseas.

Poor baby. I mean, she's really sick.

There's me dad.

Now her.

I'd known Charnel a long time, and I'd never seen her cry like that.

I felt worse because I made a dick of myself on the chair just when it

So, how much do you reckon you're going to need?

I'm going to need about 150k. I mean, the fucking hospital's in Switzerland.

I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

That's a shit day with her kids, bro.

It's a cunt of a world, isn't it? A fucking cunt of a world.

I'm just going to take a piss.

Grab us a beer, bro.

I died last night.

I haven't rung Chanel yet.

Arseholes.

Put stuck in the toilet.

I need you to keep that promise you made to me, right?

Can I just get me foot out?

I can't help.

Oh, here he is.

What's up with you? You're sweating.

I'm fine. Fucking nothing's wrong.

Nothing.

Hello?

Yes? Yeah, this is her.

What? I was spinning out.

Bob had actually died the night before.

I'm a staunch character, but that shit was freaky.

But we love each other.

Kia ora, bub.

If I were you like a dad to me, I'd be riding up to your brain.

Do you want to see something?

Yeah.

I'm looking at Bob and he looks dead.

What did I see before?

Maybe if I poke him, see if he moves.

I'll give him another one.

I'll give him one more.

Man, I must have been off chops before.

He's dead as a fucking doorknob.

Well,

well, well.

If it's not Drongo and Fuckery.

We come to pay our respects to that man.

So you's better fuck off.

Bro, we should have smashed them. I was waiting for you to throw the first

punch. It's a funeral, mate. They've got the etiquettes, mate.

Mate, you're a legend.

Best mate a bloke ever had.

You never sold out.

Rest in peace, Bob.

Oi, your fucking lucky tiny got busted. If he was fucking here, he'd rip your

fucking head off.

Well, you know what, mate? If he's going to go around doing fucking drive -bys

on people, what's going to happen, mate? What fucking drive -by?

How dumb's fucking tiny?

After he's taken them pot shots at her, he went to his girlfriend's house and

got really pissed.

Get the fuck out of your mind, you fucking idiot!

Fucking bullshit!

I'm sober as!

Bring it!

I'll bet you a hedgehog that you're smacked off your dick!

Deal!

Then the big ape goes down to the cop shop, flexing hard on his roids. I'm

So he can try and win the bet, he demands a breath test.

Sure.

Would you mind telling us how you got here?

I fucking rode!

What do you think, dickhead?

One breath test coming up.

Better get in a blowjob.

He blew over the limit.

Idiot's back in jail.

He violated his own parole.

Hey, I've done something.

That was tough.

Hey, we're going to have to get Sean Hill that money, mate.

150 grand.

How are we going to do that?

I don't know, but I've got my brain still working on it.

The first thing's first.

Because we weren't invited to the wake, because the hunter showed up, we had to

do our own memorial barbecue for Bob.

It's a memorial barbecue, dickhead, right?

It's compulsory. Put in. Me and you, we're going to go get the piss.

Hey, junkie, you're in charge of getting the barbecue, all right? Oh, what,

brah? Don't fuck it up.

Hey, man, we need you to go get the meat.

Meat. Good.

I'll go get bread, plates and some sauce.

Hey, what's this?

Dad, that is... We're going to blow them up.

Oh, hey, hey, could I do it?

Because, I mean, I'd be really honoured. I mean, I love to bloke. Please,

please.

Here you go, little girl.

You're good. You're feeling a bit better.

I might always leave the keys in the same spot.

Here, hold this.

Hey, the hose is on.

Fuck the hose.

Oi, give me your shirt. I need it to tie the fridge up so the beers don't fall

out.

Go,

Jackie, go!

Go,

Jackie, go! Go, Jackie, go! Go, Jackie, go!

Hey, if that Gilly was here, he wouldn't have fucked it up like us.

You all right there, mate?

But, like, on, like, seriously, you know, that money, me and Rongo have been

talking about it, and we are definitely going to get you that money, okay?

You know,

it is pretty gross of you and Rongo looking after us and shit.

Sorry you couldn't make Dad's wake.

Fucking hunters came and, you know, fucking pricks drink all the piss, too.

Oh, shit, that's why I come here in the first place.

I was meant to get stuff for our barbecue. I just need to borrow a couple

things. I need a toaster, plate, fork, bread, butter, and Worcestershire sauce,

tomato sauce, mustard, and if you've got it, barbecue sauce.

And salt.

Have a go.

I've got the Worcestershire sauce.

No way.

What's all this?

Well, that big dumbass ate all the steaks.

And that little dumbass broke that instead of a barbecue.

It's supposed to be a barbecue.

Well, on the bright side, me and Paddy got a fridge full of beers.

It's fair to say

the memorial barbecue wasn't going that good.

The beers were fizzed.

The sausages were not cooking on that dick -eater thing.

The sea cow and the junkie were completely bloody annoying.

If it wasn't for the sources that I organised, it would have been a total

So at this point I'm thinking to myself, we have to keep the promise to God.

There just had to be a way to get the money for Chanel and the little girl.

Then I realised, Rabbit, the answer's right under your nose, mate.

I mean, look at the crew I'm with.

We're all thieves and crims.

We're people.

We just go and feed the money.

But the problem with guys like us, everyone's always going to argue about

percentages. Fuck that kid bar. I normally get 98 % on a job.

Something you learn hanging around dodgy people, especially junkies, is that

there is only one way to negotiate with them.

I don't want to hear any more whinging about percentages, okay?

You and you and him use all our me and Ron go mad favours. So we'll make it

fair. We're going to split it. 50 % of each job goes to the kids' recovery and

the other 50 % we share like equal with each other. Do we agree?

Yeah.

Yeah,

your fucking dead shit brother was meant to get fucking masked.

You bloody goose.

Shut up, cunts.

Hey, bro.

Do you reckon it was a good idea letting them two do it? Come on.

It's a kebab van.

It's not brain surgery or science with rockets, mate. Eh?

We don't even have any weapons.

Fucking amateur.

Come on, brah.

I'll just use my fucking blood.

Now, the junkie was going to fill the syringe with his heavily infected blood.

Nah. But the drama is, like most junkies, it's impossible to find a vein

doesn't look like a smashed crab.

This is the only one I haven't used before, brah. Oi, what are you doing?

Don't stab me with that. How can you after all the bitches we've been

brah? Fuck you, cunt.

We'll just open the tills they're empty, man.

Come back in a couple of hours.

Yeah. And the tills will be full of cash.

Cash. Oh, okay.

What do you mean you're going back fucking later on?

But it makes total sense, Robert.

Just shows you if you want something done, don't trust the fucking two idiots

who got face raped by Mr. Squiggle. Yeah, well, see if you can do a fucking

better job. You know, if you draw a fucking mask on, it's not a fucking

Just think.

What the fuck is this?

How did the coppers know fucking someone was coming? It was pretty obvious what

happened here.

The only way the cops would have known that me and Rongo was coming was if we

had a snitch amongst us.

Over here, over here.

All right.

Circle in, circle in, circle in.

Okay, sorry.

We thought we had a dog amongst us, but we don't. Probably the house is bugged.

Now, listen, the kebab thing, don't worry. That was a fuck -up. We'll just

it down as a warm -up. I know a sports club close to Sunnyvale Heights.

Every Thursday night, it's got cash in the safe.

Oh, let's go in hard.

Ned Kelly saw.

Wasn't Potter's brother supposed to get us masks?

Yeah, well, he fucking knocked off these bags from his grandmother. That's all

we got.

Now, I knew we only had 15 minutes until the coppers turned up once the alarm

was triggered. But if we stuck to my plan, we could get the safe and the ATM

within seven minutes.

We should walk away with about $25 ,000.

Piece of piss.

But you know, it's hard to fly like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Forget the bong, will ya?

This is the last parkway. You've got to be joking, mate. Put your mask on.

We're going for the same first, right?

Look for the stairs. The office is near there.

Ignore the alarm.

Everyone act professional.

Every thief knows when an alarm gets triggered, the security company calls.

So you just fucking ignore it.

security. Am I speaking to the sports club manager?

The other thing every thief knows is never give personal details if you're

stupid enough to pick up the fucking phone.

What are you doing?

We just got to get out of here.

Security vans come fucking heaps faster than coppers do.

Oi, rabbit! Where's fucking Rongo?

Rongo!

Where are you?

Well, give me a couple more spins and I'll be lucky.

Come on, man.

Oh, fucking hell.

That's it.

Coppers, coppers, take your mask off. Quick, quick, quick. Fuck.

That was close, mate.

Bruh, that was fucking pitch weak. I know some cunt we can rob, my fucking

dealer.

The thing about robbing drug dealers, they always have a guard dog. But Jimmy

had an idea.

Use a slurpy straw and sleep in tablets.

Shoot the tablet into the dog's mouth, then you disable the dog.

Thereby, me and the long -gays will go in, punch the fuck out of the dealers

take all their shit.

Now, getting a slurping straw wasn't a problem. We stopped at the 7 -Eleven.

Sleeping tablets, however.

Fuck, there's no chemisaping.

Hey, man, can I get some sleeping tablets?

Okay, mastermind.

Go and do your big plan, all right?

Take it easy, you fucking... Shut up!

How hard is that to get it in?

What's he doing?

Don't come back. Go back. Finish it.

I swallowed one of the fucking pills.

It's like it's in my windpipe.

Oh, it went down, brah.

Fuck me.

Let's just finish it off. Come on.

Who's there?

What about the dog?

Well, fucking, you're a Maori, mate. Just, you know, fucking use your size.

We

couldn't

believe it.

It was a trifecta of duds. Nothing here, bro.

Wasted more pov out of the salvage, mate.

We was hoping to walk away with some drugs, money or some guns.

Especially guns.

But there was nothing.

Turned out the coppers raided these ball sacks the night before.

Sucks to you, Gronk.

If that wasn't bad enough, the next day they'd turn up at pottage looking for

revenge. Hey, Gronk.

This is what you get for fucking with me.

Oh, fuck it.

Probably the first nail gun drive -by in history.

Oh, you fucking got him. Where are you? I'm a dead -eyed dick, bro.

Fucking hell. Must be tequila time.

What do you call this?

Cheap barbecue.

It's got a bit of a bushfire effect happening at the moment.

What's in the box?

Our problem, Rongo, has been we've been going old school.

I'm going high tech, mate, just like America.

We're using drones.

What are you up to?

I'm just getting my skills up on the drain.

Watch me fucking make those jockeys go nuts.

They don't know what it is, mate, because you're fucking off chop.

Take the slug! Take the slug!

Illuminati! Do that! Do that, you bitch!

Illuminati's coming!

The Illuminati's out the front!

Hi.

Isn't that Gally was still alive?

Here you go, mate.

No worries, mate.

I need jelly, mate.

I can't sip this with them screaming.

Doesn't that bother you, them screaming?

I mean, you just have to look at foil boy right here, fucking cheesle dick

there, and this poor specimen of a human, the sea cow.

It makes you realise, if you're going to go do a serious job, you need

professionals only.

That's why on the next one, it's just me and Ron go.

Here, hold this.

I've got no idea what we're doing, bro. I'll explain it in a second, mate. Let

me put this phone on here.

Okay.

Right. We fly this thing into the bank, you see?

The bag is for the money.

The phone is linked to your phone on the FaceTime, so we can see what it sees.

Okay, once it's in the bank, we talk to idiots inside, fill up the bag, then the

drone flies back with the cash.

Fucking virgin idea it is. Fucking genius.

Sounds pretty complicated, bro.

No, no, it's just technical, mate.

So I fuck you.

Good.

Now, spectrum copy, yo!

Okay, get the phone, get the phone.

We're on. Okay, good.

Yeah, fucking guys.

Don't fuck those ladies shit themselves.

Okay, turn the corner to the bank.

Don't fucking turn it. Keep it straight. I can't help him, man.

The bank's just down the street on the left.

Watch out.

Have a go at these fucking bludgeoned fucking buskers, eh?

Have a go. That fucking bloke looks just fucking like me.

That's weird.

Hey,

why'd the fucking screen just go off?

That's because your phone's ringing.

I can't answer it. I can't fucking see anything.

Why have you got Rabbit's phone?

Deception's fucking the call. Come on.

I can't talk at the moment. We're busy.

Are you getting the money soon or not? I've got a shitload of stuff I've got to

organise. Pick up. We're busy.

I'm in the bank, I think.

It's come clear.

Fucking Chanel.

Fuck, it's gone blurry again.

I think I can see the guys on the counter. Press the fucking talk button.

Hello? Hello?

Yeah,

listen, we are not robbers. We are from terrorism.

So put everything in the bag.

The bomb is inside the mini helicopter, so fucking hurry up.

This is revenge for Bush and...

The black guy. He looks like Will Smith.

I think they're doing it, bro.

You're fucking squinting your eyes like a 3D picture you can see better. I think

they are. Fucking yes.

Fucking working.

He looks fucking loaded.

Yeah, yeah. Now I'll hit the fucking return button and the thing just fucking

flies back to us, mate, on remote.

Yes, hello, Chanel, who kept fucking ringing.

Yes? Why are you dogging me calls, Paul?

Because I'm in the middle of doing something and I don't want to talk about

details on the phone.

What? He's doing his job now.

You fucking derp shard, hell with it. We'll come see you later.

I can't believe it worked for you.

What do you mean you didn't get the money?

Look, we had a mad go at it. But fuck, you know, sometimes you can just be

unlucky.

If you want to know what happened, when the screen went blurry, the drone went

two doors down and went into the sex shop.

We, uh...

So put everything in the bag.

OK, OK.

The bomb is inside the mini helicopter, so fucking hurry up.

But on the bright side, I got this from one of our robberies and maybe you could

use it.

Yeah, well, you can stick it up your own arm.

Sharnell didn't mean to be a bitch. She was just stressing hard.

The little girl had to go to hospital again with Sharnell's mum and she just

found out she was fired from the Pink Pussycat.

I spend too much time with her daughter. And in three weeks' time, I'm not even

going to have any fucking money for rent.

Don't worry. We'll keep trying.

I know. I'll sort something out for you.

I'll bet all me testicles on it.

Let's go, Ronco.

I just lost my son, he's in that fucking spiky bush. Give me another arrow.

Fucking go him, Rongo.

It's the wrong way round, man.

Oh, fuck.

Rongo, grab me glasses for me.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, thank fuck for that.

That's why rongo is the muscle of good proof.

This is the Lebanese Robin Hood wasn't bad enough.

Next minute, the hunt is straight up.

Hey, what's all this, mate? What's the drama?

Why don't you just shut the fuck up?

I got the two fuckwits here, mate.

Short ass and drongo.

Now we know it was you and your junkie mates who tried to rob our pub.

Nor the alarm.

Everyone act professional.

Our sex shop.

And the levos that were dealing for us.

Hold on, no, no, no, we didn't know that them was yours, you know? Shut up! All

this shit you're doing is only making the coppers look harder at us. And the

only reason that you're not six foot under is because I owe Bob a few

Yeah, from now on, you keep it quiet, understand?

You know why he's angry?

By the way, your mate Tiny got fucking bail last night.

Why's you got a set of eyes in the back of your fucking head?

Oh, I was a little scared. Were you scared?

Yeah. I gotta go and take a piss, man.

Too much tension, mate.

Fuck, I gotta have a shit.

You said you were going to look after my girls.

They're telling me not.

Well, you better honor that promise, rabbit.

Now you're making it straight.

We're trying, Bob.

Oh, you know.

You make me piss.

What a ball -bucked ghost.

What was that?

Nothing. Nothing.

We're going after a bank. This time it's going to be a winner.

It better be.

Why are you wearing those puffy glasses?

Because you don't like the glasses.

But my balls feel really tingly now.

Actually feels really good.

Hey, Rabbit, check this out, man.

They've got masks on the internet.

And they look real too, eh?

Look, look.

You know.

Hands sold separately.

Man.

With our high -tech silicone disguisers, you'll be the life of any party.

Oh, you reckon got more silicone in the mask or the teeth?

Super realistic disguisers.

If Ned Kelly had them, he'd still be alive, eh?

These masks were perfect.

We can do over a bank.

And the hunters and the coppers will never know it was us.

We might have fucked up the other one, but this thing's 100%. Hey, where are we

going again?

You're joking.

Those 11 canes smashed me, eh?

Their bank that we're going to steal stuff from.

And on that topic, what happened to, like, Jimmy and his brother knocking us

like another car?

I saw Jimmy on the pipe this morning.

Of course he's going to get stoned. What about your brother?

Your nan called me brother to cut the grass.

So he ain't coming.

Fuck!

So we'll just do the robbery in the card that's registered to you. Okay.

Pass me the mask. We might as well put them on now.

Hey, you blokes know about the five stages of stoneness?

Stage one's when you're going to look for your weed.

And stage two is like when you've had one, but you need more, eh?

And then stage four, that's the best, is when you just waste it and you can't,

you just want to eat chocolate.

Shit, there's only one set of hands, Bruce.

I bet it was that bloody junkie. He pinches anything that's not nailed down.

It's going to be like getting a handjob off Nana.

Doesn't matter, you have one and I have one.

Just don't show the hand that doesn't have the glove. That's all.

Did you get the fake gun?

Yeah, bro.

But it's got the orange thing on it.

Oh, fuck.

No, it won't come off, bro.

Try harder.

Faster than cutting it off.

Fuck.

That's freaky.

You look like different people, eh?

Wrong, eh? You look like a fat men diesel.

Oh, true.

Hey, have a go at this.

That's my extendable bat.

I'm going to hit the security guard over the head.

Then we're going to rush in and get the money.

Just pull in there.

In here?

Just fucking remember to veto when we fuck off.

Let's get it done for our team.

Okay. There it is.

Glove's on. Let's get it.

You're probably thinking, why are the hands important?

It's so they can't see the woggy colours of our skin. That's a giveaway.

Okay, walk slow.

Bro, I've got the wrong hand on. I'm no good with a gun with my left hand.

It's only a folk gun, mate.

If you get a robber bank, I'll give you a tip.

Make sure the driver does not have more than seven cones.

See, Potted was so munted, he's not at all for a second.

And when he wakes up, he's got no idea what's fucking going on.

Where the fuck am I?

Who the fuck is that?

Fuck. I'm going home.

Hey, maybe we should take that orange thing off the gun.

Well, it's hard to get off. Fucking hide it. Fuck.

Hard to get off. It just came off. Put it in the pocket.

I fucking loosened it up for it.

Go back, go back.

My fucking pants are sort of coming off.

Oh, he's got food.

Fucking help me and pull him up. No, I ain't touching you.

All right, just get the gun here. Come on.

Not with that hand.

What? It's the fucking dodgy one. Oh.

What are you doing?

My fucking left hand.

Cover it up.

Shit. Security's there, man.

Come on.

Oh, shit. Wrong hand.

I'm nuts.

The fucking gun went down the drain.

Security's looking.

People are looking, mate. People are looking.

Fucking everyone's looking.

It's a fail, mate. Fucking fail.

Hey! Where the fuck did he go?

Shit! Come on!

Robert?

Jono? Is that you, bro?

What's this?

I stole a jeep, bro!

You stole a jeep?

Just peeing so hard, he thought he stole a normal -sized Jeep.

You stole a Jeep, bro!

Yeah, brah! Stole a Jeep!

Yeah, it wasn't a Jeep, mate. It was a mini go -kart Jeep.

You know, after your ball's up having a crack at a bank, there's only really one

thing to do.

Alcohol.

You know, I've just come to realise one thing.

Me and you are completely fucking useless.

I mean, what are we supposed to do, mate? Hey, we're dickheads.

The little girl is getting sicker every fucking minute.

You know, because she's a kid. Because of all the failures and maybe the

alcohol, me and Rongo got a little bit emotional.

I think it's understandable.

It doesn't mean we're not staunch.

I

got the

milk.

What are you fucking looking at?

It had come to the point where we was out of ideas and out of luck.

Someone had to call Charnel and tell her the bad news.

I can't do it, bro.

She always liked you much better than me.

You should call her.

What are you doing with that fucking cat?

Just get it over with, tell her. Come on.

Drank a ton of beer, smoked a pound of bellies. Gone again.

Oh, my God.

I don't think that's a good thing.

I done it.

Huh? Rory, clean yourself up.

Look at this fella.

Fucking Ned Kelly back from the dead.

Did you just get the money?

Where's Rory?

I smoked like an ounce of hydro.

Then it happened.

Ned Kelly jumped into me guts.

So I did what Ned Kelly would do.

Yeah, yeah, it's on the news and everything.

In breaking news, a man dressed as Ned Kelly robbed this police credit union of

just over $300 ,000.

Your money or your life? I need a car, hurry up!

After a brief exchange of gunfire, the man fled, ironically, on a police horse

taken from one of the officers at the scene.

Hey, where'd you get the thorn off in the vest?

Oh, from me nana, eh?

Mate, sorry.

No, there's no way he could have done this. Bullshit, no way.

Bruh, am I fucking tripping or is there a fucking horse out there?

I couldn't believe potty had come through.

I guess it shows.

Never underestimate the creativity of a stoner.

For Chanel.

I know you.

You're the little fucking dropkick that used to hang around with Bob all the

time. Okay, you're the cranky old X of Bob's. Um, well...

Listen, is Chanel there?

Chanel's not here.

She's at the hospital with Charlie.

I know. Well, listen, tell her to call me, cos I've got good news for her.

Do you ever get that feeling where you go, hmm, things are going really good at

the minute?

Well, that's normally when things are about to go really bad.

I think it was the hunting.

Oh, fuck!

She's the hunter!

Wondering how they knew Potty took the money?

Well, leaving that horse in the garden, that was a bit of a giveaway, wasn't it?

This for fucking me, is it?

I normally don't get into the bourbon, but now's a good time to start, bro.

Where you off to?

You don't need to grab any balls this time, right?

Yeah, Rabbit.

You and your boys done good.

I know the others fucked you over.

The truth is I realised I should have been there to get the money.

It was my job as a dad and Charlie's pop.

But I was always fucking up and I ended up dying in jail.

So whatever happens from here on in, it's on me.

No, listen, man. We're going to come through 300%. No worries.

Forget it, Rabbit.

You'll end up dead or back inside.

Hey, bro, I just got a pokey app on my phone.

Maybe I can just win all the money on this.

Oh, I'm sure you will.

Oh, shit.

I just ran out of credit.

I was cut. The hunter should not have taken that money. It was for Charlie.

So I thought, fuck it. I'm going to go up to their fucking clubhouse.

I'm going to go in full staunch, and I'm going to get the money back.

Hey!

You said no fucking right to take that money, okay?

I don't want any fucking trouble.

Just the fucking money back.

It's for a good cause, alright?

Don't be cunts now. At this point I realise that we're probably just going

cunts.

This is fucking it. It's all over, mate.

My whole fucking life was flashing before my eyes.

And a lot of it was in jail.

Aye!

What the fuck are you doing in this clubhouse?

Every biker knows...

You cannot kill someone in a clubhouse without permission from the vice

president of the club. Sorry!

The little midget, that's Jono. He's Angry's little brother, literally. And

lucky for me, he is the vice president.

You! Get the fuck up! Come with me!

In there!

Sit down.

Nice and quiet, I told you.

And you've got to go and rob the police fucking credit union.

Thank you.

You wouldn't have a tequila I could have a sip on to calm my nerves. Shut up!

Normally, I'd let Tony rip your fucking head off.

Fuck! Fuck!

But I had the weirdest dream.

Bob appeared to me as a ghost.

and asked me for one last favour.

Looks like Bob was still pulling the strings from the grave.

I wondered if Angry's balls had a spanking as well.

So here is the proposition.

Instead of getting necked, the hunters were going to give us one last chance.

Angry's deal was this.

We could get half of the money back that Pottage stole, but we had to find this

dickhead. He used to be the accountant for the hunters, but he cleaned out all

their legitimate money from in the bank, and he fucked off to Las Vegas.

So this bloke is over there.

spending all their money, and they're pissed off hard.

Hey, this is piss easy, mate. All we have to fucking do is knock off one

accountant, mate. How hard's that going to be?

Hey, the hunter said if we do it good, we can come back in as full members,

Oh, yeah?

Then how are we going to get into America, bro? I don't even have a

Well, you do now.

And I've got a third one, but a junkie. In a case there's a situation where

we've got to, like, fucking, I don't know, have a hostage or someone's got to

take a bullet, it'll be him.

Where is he anyway?

Where's Potty?

He's in the port -a -loo, bro.

You can't understand a phone as brain.

Potty traded the police horse for a port -a -loo.

Hey, Potty.

We're going to Vegas.

Oh, cool.

Hey, you like me new, lad?

It's a hydropotty.

Hi, Rabbit.

Hi, Rongo.

Hey, I got you a beer.

Hey, hey.

I couldn't find an iPad to steal, so that's what I'm going to have to do.

Mum, Mummy's got to go outside and talk to your uncles, right?

Read her a book or something.

What? Can't you fucking give her a video game?

Hey, did you and your mum intentionally dress the same today, or what?

What do you mean?

Well, uh, we're off, eh?

What, is he going to... airport now?

Yeah, we knocked off a car to take us down a terminal. The junkie's waiting

us right now.

You know, so far, okay, I'll admit we've been unlucky.

But you can't change bad luck. It's not our fault. From here...

It's going to work. I reckon, what, probably for the little kid in there,

210 % guarantee.

What the fuck?

Fucking hell, looks like he's fucking AD.

You're not fast.

Oh, he's light as a fizzle.

After we dumped the car, we just made it to the plane, eh?

And don't worry about Jimmy. He was all good.

Why'd you revive me for, you dog?

He's enjoying that, huh?

thinking about sperm when they invented this thing.

It kind of reminded me of Tiny's mother.

Can you believe the hunters have got like a chapter over in Vegas, eh?

I tell you, bud, it's a count to fuck. Because these hunters, they know where

gambles.

They even got a bug on his car, like a tracking thing.

The bloke put a fucking app on me phone so we could follow him.

Yeah, he's a fucking sicko, mate. I reckon he's into trannies. Hey,

have a go at the goodies.

Pretty obvious we need some fucking target practice.

So I reckon we go out in the desert, like you see in the films, put the cans

fucking shoot till we get good.

Does that mean we're going to Bodlew?

Well, if I don't get accidentally shot by a random Butterfingers in the car,

yes. It was my left hand.

Do you know I'm useless with my left hand? Yeah, no worries, lefty.

Now expect him, copy, yo!

That's a killer like no other kind. He's got demons inside that he just can't

shake. Feeding all the innocent lives that he takes. No more than just

but make no mistake.

Once he's got you in his sights, man, you'll never escape.

That's a killer on the loose.

Next victim could be you.

Hey, why are we wasting two good beers?

You should be shot for that shit.

Mate, it's clearly not B. It says Carviza on it.

What's fucking Cavizza?

Get this fucking weed past my fucking ear!

How do you fucking like it?

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