Original subtitles

It was a beautiful day,

the first of May,

five years ago.

We were gathered here, on this beach, to see Youri off.

You couldn't sleep?

Youri was leaving on a several-month-long bike trip

all the way to Istanbul, Turkey.

It was a moment of joy

and emotion.

Sadly today, we don't feel the same joy.

Youri, my eldest son, died a year ago.

The idea of retracing his bike journey

came to Philippe and me almost immediately.

Cycling all the way to Istanbul,

following in his footsteps, and who knows,

maybe seeing him along the way

and hearing this "Hi, Dad!" that I miss so terribly.

It's great Philippe is going too.

It's a beautiful show of friendship.

Youri loved his trip

and turned it into a book.

It's wonderful to go with the book and see...

the same landscapes.

This book will be our bible, our roadmap.

It isn't fully exposed but it's beautiful.

And the one with the dog?

There's something desperate about our initiative:

Philippe is no spring chicken and I'm a little overweight!

We're bound by our friendship of 20 years

and our taste for physical challenges.

We've never done sport together...

We've never done any sport at all!

- But we've fasted together. - With great success!

That's for sure.

As you know, Youri was a clown.

On his trip, he performed in schools and the street.

And we plan to do the same.

Philippe, walk over here.

Don't reveal everything at once!

You can all see us off.

The faint-hearted, look away!

- We do all our own stunts. - We've no stand-ins.

No body doubles.

We're astronauts, where's our capsule?

Right, let's go.

Time to say goodbye.

See you!

We're off!

Goodbye!

See you at Christmas.

Let's race.

Let's race.

You asked for it!

Where's the finish line?

Right here, I won!

4.5 kilometers.

Not bad.

Isn't my dog beautiful?

- Go, boy, go! - Be happy!

Run!

I'm hurting, man!

I'm in pain!

- Keep going! - I've had it.

Let's do a ballet.

The sore butt ballet!

I got a midge in my eye.

Stop.

That should be enough!

- Has it gone? - I think so.

I don't see it.

RIDE AWAY

Come on, boy.

Oh fuck.

Let's fix a coffee.

OK.

Coffee, tea...

- Croissants. - Breakfast!

It's kind of small.

It isn't for tall people.

I bought this but I don't how it works.

And you're asking me?

- This is pretty. - Very.

That clicks off.

And this screws on.

Millions of years of camping! It's in my blood, my DNA.

Is it OK if I smoke near it?

Just saying!

Coming?

Coming.

Stay there, boy.

Are you sure we can go in?

Stay there, Lucky.

It's locked.

Churches instantly...

soothe me.

I'm not sure about me.

It's pretty.

Yeah, with that wallpaper.

Maybe the priest's wife said, "Honey, let's wallpaper

"the chapel."

Priests don't have wives.

It's a joke.

Christ isn't at all soothing.

- Christ crucified on the cross. - Well, no.

Mary is soothing though.

I was about to say that.

Out of the whole gang, the one I like best,

because I feel her hand on my shoulder, is Mary.

D'you know this joke?

Joseph says to Mary, "What?"

Because he's never had...

Mary tells Joseph she's pregnant.

- "What?" - He goes, "What?"

"What?"

- Hang on. - "What?"

"What?"

Sorry, Lord.

Forgive us.

But joking aside, contemplation...

I get the idea. It's a mix of meditation

and an ongoing conversation.

It's a place for people who believe

there's something after, an afterlife.

A hereafter.

But it isn't the life after that interests you,

it's the life before.

It isn't.

Or the life after.

If there's a chance of seeing Youri...

- What a pain! - We shouldn't mess about.

He's trying to tell us something.

The only way to see Youri is death.

My only chance now,

my only hope of seeing Youri,

is in death, not in life.

You've got it wrong.

Watch out, a black cat!

I don't believe in that curse.

Black cats are bad luck.

- Oh shit! - Watch out.

You almost hit it!

- 'Cause we were talking about that. - Precisely!

Black cats spell disaster.

Just after Youri died, I saw signs everywhere.

Everything was an intervention.

A butterfly, a bird.

I saw Ys everywhere. Everything is a Y, look.

That's a Y, a double Y even.

We make nests

for our signs.

That is, signs...

exist or don't exist. We make nests for them

and if we start to look at everything,

we see signs of Youri everywhere.

I agree with you, I see Ys everywhere too.

I see him and hear him everywhere too.

And that's why we're here.

Philippe in the Loire, Philippe in the trees?

I don't know where he is.

Where is Philippe?

I don't know.

I don't know where Philippe is.

Tomorrow I will be

On the road

Riding away!

Slow down!

Wait for me!

Shall we try that beach?

- That tip over there? - The small one.

- Straight ahead of us? - Yes.

- What's behind it? - It looks like a beach,

a gravel beach, like on the photo.

- Let's go, then. - OK.

This is it, Mathias.

You're right.

It's the exact spot.

There's the tree on the left,

the woods...

the village up there.

That embankment thing... is right here.

See where the boats are?

I'm positive, I can tell by the clump of trees.

He's waving to us.

Don't move, I'll take a photo.

Adopt the same pose.

The same pose as Youri. Look that way, bend down...

- Like this? - And wave at me.

Excellent.

Now look at me.

When I think of my mom, I know the dead are here for us.

My dad is more available for me in death than in life.

I get what you're saying.

We watch over them and they watch over us.

Constantly.

My dad died too soon...

- How old were you? - I was 42.

I didn't miss much.

Just five or ten years.

If I'd been 50 or so, I'd have been more indulgent than at 40.

I was hard at it at 40.

He pissed me off more than anything else.

I had no need for bonding.

This is going to sound awful

but I missed him terribly

when Youri died.

This kind of, you know...

I wouldn't have been able to bear their grief. However...

I'd have loved to have someone take my hand at that point

and tell me how to deal with it.

'Cause you're left on your own.

They never lost a child,

and I have to face this on my own.

You'd have liked a dad to hug you and say, "It'll be OK, son."

Yes.

It's exactly that. I hear you.

This thing of...

- "We can get through this." - For sure, don't worry about it.

I'm saying that, but I'm sure

my mother's grief would have crushed me.

My dad, I don't know.

He was more reserved.

If they'd been there,

they'd have said: "It'll be OK, kid."

- That's what I'm saying. - "It'll be OK, son."

That's it, you see.

I had that from friends, I had comfort from them,

but I didn't have it

from a superior authority, from something...

Something that protects you.

And that's parents. My parents were above me.

I understand completely.

This is it,

the school where Youri first performed.

Hello, children!

Hello!

Hello, Stéphane, it's Mathias.

We're at the gate.

- Welcome to Jougne. - Thank you.

It's big!

Right...

Are you OK?

Fine, just a bit freaked out.

Thanks.

I don't know if I'm sad or...

happy to be here.

- There's something... - I know.

I know but...

We don't know if we're happy or unhappy.

Let's be happy.

Let's be happy.

If we have to choose,

if we have the choice, let's be happy.

Hello, hello.

First of all, hello.

First of all, hello.

Philippe.

Philippe, hello.

And I'm Mathias.

We're doing a bike trip

all the way to Turkey.

At every stop along the way, we're going to perform.

We're apprentice clowns.

- We're not professionals. - We're first graders.

We're first grade clowns.

So, this won't be easy.

We're a little nervous.

Ready, we're going to start.

Now for some magic.

Now for some magic.

They're my legs!

And now...

Hey, magic!

Come on, boy.

That was great, eh?

That was great.

Yeah.

Is it harder than I thought,

this journey?

Maybe. To be honest, I feel like bawling all the time.

I thought the cycling would be hard,

that the physical pain would lessen my suffering, right?

But the pain doesn't lessen it.

What's hard for you?

Seeing me?

- I'm not sure. - The journey?

Retracing his journey, thinking of Youri, everything.

I decided to retrace Youri's journey

as a way of...

keeping him alive.

For me, each stage...

That's why we're here.

It's very moving and, at the same time,

each stage reminds me he's dead.

Did I ever tell you about my pal Roberto?

When I was younger, 12 years old,

we decided to play baseball at the local playing field.

As we were about to play, two guys turned up

on a scooter and said, "Give us your bat, glove and ball!"

They wanted to mug us, basically.

I said to Roberto, "Give them the lot, let's go."

I was a nice middle-class kid,

I didn't want to be disfigured by aggressive guys.

And he said, "No.

"I'm not giving them my stuff.

"A baseball bat costs loads."

He wasn't scared, even though he was half my size.

I fled.

I literally ran away.

But I won't run away this time.

Funnily enough,

I want to say I'm here for you.

I'm here for you, lean on me.

No, we're here for each other.

We're doing this together.

Don't say you're here for me.

We're here for each other. I'm here for you, too.

Imagine me on my own, like an idiot,

cycling all day long. This makes sense, you see?

It makes sense to do this together.

I don't have many friends.

For me, sharing something

is already huge.

So sharing this journey...

I've gained weight since it all.

Stress does that to you.

No. A dietician told me,

"You gain weight because you store up your emotions."

I said to him, "But I cry all the time."

"You only cry a tenth of what you should."

OK, let's lose weight with a tear cure.

- A tear cure... - Will our abs show after?

Will I have Ronaldo's abs?

I get the feeling it won't happen!

How about we turn in?

- Let's go to bed. - OK, in a bit.

Lucky, you could've tidied up!

Seeing as he's a friend, he could help with the chores.

He'll lick the plates!

It's insane.

What is?

I can't sleep without you.

- I won't be long. - What an old couple!

Don't worry, I'm right here.

I'll read you a story.

Wake up by the Rhine!

Someone's coming.

They'll never take us.

Great, a motor home!

He's stopping.

Why pedal like crazy?

You stop every 150 meters. Stop when it's beautiful!

I stop every 20km!

- How many have we done? - No idea.

You said it was a cycle path.

This is a path... for making sandcastles!

But I don't know this path!

We're discovering it together.

Don't blame me.

No one is waiting for us.

This is like cycling through sponge!

I'm managing fine.

You've got 39 gears, I've got 14.

I'm 60, you're 55.

You've got a top bike.

This is like the Amazon!

Do you get me? What the hell's this?

Was this on the map?

I'm gonna have to get wet again!

No, you're not, you can cycle across.

Take a run-up, you'll make it.

Take a run-up, you'll make it!

The dog can do it. Go on, boy!

The dog's going to cross it.

Here goes!

Keep going.

It's impossible.

The proof!

Just get your feet wet!

No way, I'm already...

Smart ass!

Get out of the way.

Get out of here!

Come on, boy!

I can go on that.

- Are you sure? - It's fine.

The big wheel...

You can go up there?

- Up there? Sure. - What about vertigo?

- OK, Lucky... - Stay here.

Your evening won't be much fun.

- We won't be long. - We'll get you beer and sausages.

See you later, boy.

It's sad.

That looks a bit scary, but I've always loved funfairs.

- Or ducasses, like you say up north. - That's right.

The place more than the rides.

There'd be an empty lot,

then all of a sudden, a wonderland would appear.

- We're lousy. - I'm shooting for the stars!

Try to hit the roses.

As a kid, I loved those planes that took off.

Someone always pinched my spot.

I wanted what others had. Some kid would beat me every time.

Let's go on the ghost train first.

I hope it isn't too scary.

- I love screaming. - Me too!

Cheers!

We've been this way.

We haven't, you're just plastered.

Makes me want a beer with friends.

What a wonderful honeymoon.

On the left.

Careful, it's turning red.

Isn't it right here?

Ja!

This is it! Our bus is here.

I told you so!

Give me your helmet.

You want to keep it?

- We can't leave Lucky in there! - Come on, boy.

Just 8 hours 40 minutes to go.

We'll get there fast at this rate.

We need the mini bar before we run out of ammo.

It's in another car.

We need to visit this bus.

- And go shopping! - We haven't looked around.

The door's open! Let's split.

- Don't count the hours. - I'm not.

We arrive tomorrow morning.

It takes a day and a night.

I'm counting the minutes!

Would you rather be cycling?

To tell the truth, yes.

Surprisingly.

Yes, because it's you who asked to take the bus.

True.

I wish I hadn't.

- It'd be fun to cycle on the highway. - Yeah.

Imagine he drives off when we're unloading the bikes,

and we hang on so as not to...

We get dragged along...

- We're like this. - Like two illegals.

The fear of cancer maybe.

I'm not afraid of dying.

I'm afraid of dying for my kids.

What could scare you now? I understand because we're similar.

It's too late to be afraid of dying.

We're on our way.

We're on the bus.

I wouldn't like my kids to be sad.

That's all.

But...

- You can't prevent that. - That's right.

Whether you die now or in 20 years.

In 20 years' time,

it isn't the same thing.

That's where I agree with you about quitting smoking.

I need to buy a bit of time.

If my kids are 12 and 15,

it isn't the same as them being 32.

Like I said the other day,

a father or a mother,

we always need them.

See how nice it is,

the talks you have with your 85-year-old dad...

I agree with you.

They're useful. They also help you...

Him too, I think. The cycle changes.

It's like my dad... has become my son.

We've been given time.

When he takes his last breath, I'll take him in my arms.

Like when I wanted him to hug me as a kid.

Fuck, what's going on in Austria?

I must be allergic to a tree.

I understand a bit.

German is better.

I'll explain the apartment now.

This is the eating space.

Cooking.

Essen means eat.

We can't eat.

I don't want crumbs on my sofa.

I don't like the crumbs at the mosque.

The what?

All right.

- She doesn't like crumbs... - No crumbs on the carpet.

Right!

Or punishment!

The translation is hilarious!

Good.

The fridge.

This is mine.

- Us. - You two.

This, no.

Of course.

Do not raid the freezer.

You're good, you understand!

The shower. Always squeegee.

All right.

But not...

Always get undressed after a shower.

Yes? Squeegee.

- Come! - You go, she freaks me out.

Sleep.

Yeah, the door.

Semi-open in daytime.

Semi-open in daytime.

Right, well...

Swimming?

Swimming?

Left!

Nice.

The swans are not our friends.

Strip off.

We don't have all day!

Go on, Philippe!

It's a bit like jail but it's nice!

Good evening!

No thank you, no breakfast.

She's nice actually. She offered us breakfast.

I can't get out!

What?

I didn't gain weight in here!

- Of course you didn't. - I'm stuck!

You scrubbed yourself with fattening soap, buddy!

- How'd you get in? - I don't know.

But I can't get out.

Come on, you're not oversize.

- Move! - I'm staying put.

Fuck!

There we go.

- You idiot. - That's easier.

What's going on?

She freaks me out.

She's cute but scary.

So you're semi-open?

Yeah, I'm semi-open.

Semi-open and punishment.

Squeegee, ja!

- She scared the wits out of me! - Me too.

It's really scary.

Oh my God!

No way!

No way!

My son Youri

stayed with you five years ago.

Do you remember?

Just look at the Danube.

That's the Danube?

It's pretty on this side.

When Youri died...

I didn't want to feel guilty or look for a culprit.

I didn't want to blame the medication or anything,

or say it's the fault...

of his last love. I really didn't want...

to shift the blame. It was my fault as a father.

It wasn't.

I didn't want there to be any guilt of any kind.

But that's impossible.

It's like looking...

for the piece of a puzzle with tons of pieces.

He took the last piece with him.

We can't finish it.

But you were a good dad, you were good parents.

It isn't about that.

His decompensation, which resulted...

in his committing suicide, had nothing to do with your parenting.

I don't know how to put it.

Decompensation comes from elsewhere.

But you can't, we can't...

We mustn't look for the piece of the puzzle.

And I forbid you to feel guilty.

- It doesn't work like that. - I know...

I forbade myself to feel guilty too.

But in fact you can't...

stop yourself from being consumed by it.

It's like something...

But God knows I...

Fuck, I know, buddy,

but I forbid you,

I forbid you to go there.

We have more booze than water!

Right, well,

you manage your water, I'll manage my booze.

This is for this morning.

I'd like to be remembered by the people who've known me,

but the next generation won't.

I've no ambition to leave a mark.

Or a work?

A mark, a work... I'm done with all that.

- Self-fulfillment? - No.

You don't get that through work?

No, you feel it when you're dead or in your last breath:

"I did a great job!"

- Stroke. - Only kidding!

I would really like...

I'm a pretty funny guy, aren't I?

Come on, I am.

But will I have the strength

to make a last pun, will my last words be a joke?

Will I pretend to die before I die?

The whole family's there,

and you go...

- And everyone goes... - That doesn't happen.

What?

Moments like that. You die when people go for a smoke!

Palliative care guys say no one believes in their own death.

Until the last minute, you think you'll live.

Even when you're dying. The priest is there

doing this over you: "Go on!" and you shout, "No!"

With that throat cancer device...

"What did he say? I didn't catch that."

"It needs adjusting.

"Damn, there's music!"

Only kidding!

We're laughing now, but it'll happen to us one day.

For sure.

You had Youri at 28?

That's young, that is. When I think about it, at 28

I wasn't...

What's the word? I wasn't...

- Me neither. - What's the word?

- Well-aligned. - I had no spine.

At 28, all I thought about was smoking weed.

Thank God I didn't have a kid. Thank God I didn't make love then!

Yeah, 28 is young.

This is drinking water.

But my grandpa used to do this...

There was a tub, and he'd be noisy. Like this...

That's what feels great.

He had baby skin.

- Let's do that in Turkey. - What?

Get a Turk's face.

A Turk's face!

Show me what it looks like.

These guys look great.

I don't have enough hair

- for a chevron moustache. - You do.

You don't need much for this.

We'll get you a nice greased-back haircut too.

What a haircut!

I'm up for that.

I'll see how I look with a blow-dry.

- I'd love to go there. - Where?

To the statue of Yuri Gagarin.

Then we'll go.

- Where is it? - I don't know.

Hear that creak-creak-creak?

- Yes. - It sounds like an old LP.

Listen.

A crackly old LP.

Hang on.

Fuck, you're right!

Let's play a vinyl.

Put the needle down like this...

and there's this moment of it.

When you said a cycle path, I imagined something flat.

- What? - Stupid me!

What'd you say?

When you said, "We'll take a cycle path,"

I imagined this flat path across Europe.

I realize that's impossible, but I'll fall out with the path

if it's hilly the whole way.

I didn't say it was flat to Turkey!

I've just had a funny thought.

I'd like, at the end of my life,

for people to say, and to be able to say myself,

"He was a good guy."

As I was saying that I thought, "What is a good guy?"

What makes a guy good?

Is it possible to be a good guy?

Is it possible to please everyone

around you and in the world, to be a good guy?

I'm not sure it is.

Like a yearning for forgiveness.

Something like that. I was talking about a good guy,

but what's a good father?

What does it mean to be a good man to your children and partner?

What is a good person?

Was Jesus a good guy?

That's my question!

Wandering about in sandals...

I get the feeling I've improved.

That's the meaning of life: doing better and better.

Better and better, yes.

We're good guys because we strive to be.

To the last, we strive to be good guys,

we strive to improve.

That's what a good guy is.

- Improving... - It isn't saying, "I'm great."

It's "I still have work to do to be a good guy,

"I won't have finished by the time I die,

"but I'll have progressed."

It's funny, I never much thought about the meaning of life.

Until now.

Being alive was enough.

But Youri's death made me. It made me...

It's such an absurdity.

You can't make sense of it.

You can't look for meaning in it, so...

That's Matthias Church.

It's named after me!

It's beautiful.

All that for God!

It's for St. Matthias.

I want to snap my dog.

Go on.

The trembling dog!

See you later, buddy.

See you.

What do you expect from this trip?

I'm wondering myself.

What do I expect? I don't have the answer.

Apart from accompanying you.

I expect something, or rather I hope for it.

So yes, I expect it.

Relief.

All right.

Relief through realizing it,

doing the whole journey,

in its entirety.

Do you think you'll feel consolation at the end?

Are you starting to sense

a form of consolation?

"I've come to terms with this tragedy. I no longer see it as such."

It's impossible to come to terms with.

As you said, it's what Youri is inspiring us to do,

inspiring me to do, inspiring me to become.

We were discussing good guys.

- I'm a better guy since he died. - I agree.

It's a terrible thing to say.

I agree, but it's the truth.

Something has opened up within me: my heart.

I think and live differently.

Everything changed all at once.

This journey is bringing...

It's bringing plenty of...

plenty of freedom, plenty of...

How can I put it? I was going to say joy.

It's like a breath of air, a breath of oxygen.

Like you, I imagine,

every day I say to Youri,

"Just look at your dad, his old pal, and the old dog.

"We're looking for you.

"We're paying tribute to you."

On my bike, it's all I talk about.

"It sucks you gave us this lesson, but it's a real lesson."

Hey, gorgeous, it's Doudou. I wanted to give you my news.

Right now we're...

at St. Matthias, a really massive church

in Budapest.

What else can I tell you?

It's quite an ordeal. I miss the kids.

But I can't tell Mathias

I want to see them when he'll never see his son again,

so it's difficult.

It's tiring but it's OK.

We're making progress.

I think Mathias is... Could I say happy?

Mathias is...

He's getting somewhere.

Call me when you get a chance.

Bye, gorgeous.

It's delicious. You don't know what you're missing.

No, you don't know!

I know exactly what I'm missing.

- Try this. - This is sugar.

This is a slimming aid.

It puts holes in your stomach.

- But this... - It grows your stomach!

It fills your stomach and gets rid of the holes.

We need a mixed stomach.

A bit of yours and mine.

- Yours must be well protected. - It is.

Pour some schnapps in it.

That makes holes.

- This adds padding. - Know what? It'll kill us in the end.

That's a stroke.

That's diabetes and a stroke. You get amputated

then croak of a stroke in your wheelchair!

Whereas I'll die right away.

Dracula's castle!

You'd need to suck lots of blood to buy yourself that!

Maybe they sell vials of blood. Let's just have a quick look.

They're saying straight on.

It's pretty obvious.

Thank you.

Shit, more mutts!

Romania is a giant dog farm.

Shut it!

Shut up!

It's a wild dog farm. On Mondays they release 100.

It's how they say, "Welcome to Romania!"

They're pretty friendly.

We're back on the road to Brasov.

- Not bad. - It's 96 km.

- Let's keep going. - OK.

To the town center.

What the fuck!

What the fuck!

Turn right.

Yeah, I'm trying to get out of here,

off this shitty road.

Do they grow toilet paper in Romania?

It certainly looks like it!

Look at the pretty sunset.

Where's the tobacconist's?

It's pretty but...

we're miles from anywhere with three huge mutts.

Forget the dogs. We're out of their range.

Mathias, we're in Romania.

I've nothing against Romanians, but we're in the wilds of Romania,

not the Normandy countryside.

- I never said it'd be Airbnb... - And I never said I'd risk my life.

- You're not! - I am too.

The fact I'm scared means I'm risking my life.

After a car almost plowed into me at the roundabout...

They're a bit rock 'n' roll, like you.

But when a guy's a bit lively, you have a meltdown.

He was doing 120 kph and almost ran into me!

- He was a bit lively. - A bit lively? Take him as a friend,

the lively guy doing 120 kph!

I almost died, for fuck's sake!

I'm not here to risk my life.

You might not give a fuck,

but I fucking do!

You really don't give a fuck!

Shit!

Reassure me:

Say, "Yeah, Phil, it was dangerous."

Say, "Yeah, it was dangerous."

Yeah, it was dangerous, and more so because you're plastered!

You scare me.

It isn't fast cars that scare me, it's you!

You scare me too. But I don't hassle you

about your overeating, do I?

- It scares me. - Why?

Carlos, the singer, died from it!

Eating won't get me run over by a car!

How do you know?

I wouldn't say, "He got hit 'cause he ate too much."

I'd say, "A bad driver hit him."

What would you say? "He got hit 'cause he was plastered"?

Some friend you are!

Is it that...

that you'll say about me?

"The guy got run over 'cause he was plastered."

The car was doing 20 kph, I was cycling at 160 kph and cut him off?

I'm not stupid.

A wino isn't stupid!

A friend isn't a traitor!

He shouts "Asshole!" at the guy who almost hit his pal on his bike!

He was plastered 'cause he was scared.

He was plastered 'cause he was sad!

Nearest campsite.

What?

I've found a campsite.

Good. That's all I wanted. I'm not asking for much.

- Just to be safe. - It's OK, forget it.

- I'm sorry. - Me too.

I was afraid, so...

I was scared too. We shouted because we were scared.

We argue over nothing.

We're dead tired, that's all.

- The red dots go together. - OK. There was no thingy.

It wasn't clear for me. I get it now.

Better late than never, as my mom used to say.

My late mom was really annoying.

I'm becoming like her.

It's a problem.

It's called aging.

There's no escaping it.

Shit, it's raining, let's hurry.

Fuck, more mutts!

- What's with the phone? - He likes the videos for dogs.

He thinks the guy on TV is...?

He enjoys the videos.

Imagine if we were like him.

You're watching TV and...

I had this aunt, Marie-Louise,

who'd spit at her TV.

If she saw a rightwing guy, she'd spit.

Sometimes she'd get it wrong: "Oh no, he's communist!"

Then she'd wipe the screen.

In this book, Richard Brautigan hears a girlfriend has died,

he tells another friend and says:

"Words are flowers of nothing.

"I love you."

Goodnight.

It's so beautiful.

"Words are flowers of nothing. I love you."

Paris!

Can't you go faster?

THE PICTURE CABIN

Hello!

- Are you French? - Yes!

We saw that,

and we're camping. Could we camp here?

Sure, no problem.

That's cool.

Thank you, Emile.

- You don't mind, then? - I'm Mathias.

Nice to meet you, Laurent.

- Where have you come from? - From Paris.

Hello, sir, nice to meet you.

We've come from Montreuil.

We're cyclists.

I'm Norman.

You don't mind if we pitch our tent here?

There's plenty of space, look.

Make yourselves comfortable.

Your house burned down?

You really shouldn't smoke in bed!

It was a real blow.

It burned down 18 months ago.

It's tough, but it is what it is.

So you're a photographer?

You're a Norman in Romania,

in deepest Romania.

The Norman of the Carpathians.

And we run into him!

We thought about the dangerous bears, the wolves,

not the Norman of the Carpathians!

What brings you here?

Actually, we're retracing

the journey my son did five years ago.

He cycled from La Rochelle

all the way to Turkey.

And in fact,

he hung himself a year ago.

And so...

in tribute to him, we're retracing his journey

as a way to remember him.

We got on our bikes

and we're cycling to Istanbul, to meet Marzi.

Marzi is the last woman

Youri said "I love you" to.

It isn't a sad journey, it's...

How can I put it?

It's an ode to life in fact.

We won't find him, but we're keeping him alive, eh?

I feel that we're doing it in order to find something...

to make life out of death.

We don't know what we'll find at the end of it.

But it certainly isn't easy.

What did he do in life?

He was a clown.

- That was his job? - Yes.

Clown and musician.

He made a living by street performing.

So we're doing...

We've trained as clowns.

We do a number with the dog and a magic act.

Would it be indiscreet to ask

why he committed suicide? Did he leave a note?

No, he didn't leave a note.

It was a combination of events.

There's no reason for it.

Suicide is a mental illness that kills.

- But you look for a reason. - As a father, for sure.

There was a host of reasons.

It's linked to childhood too, so you look at that...

- And you feel guilty. - Yes, of course.

Who's never thought of ending it all?

You think about it but you know you won't do it.

Did you consider it after the fire?

No, I was just very sad.

But when you're depressed

or at the end of your rope, you want to end it all.

It happens.

You don't want to die, you want out of your current life.

You don't act on your thoughts.

Some people do, obviously.

But it isn't something they think out.

My favorite actor took three days to kill himself.

Yet for those three days, all the signs he gave out were upbeat.

Then he suddenly went through with it.

You could see it as temporary insanity.

Sometimes it doesn't kill, sometimes it does.

Suicide kills.

My temporary insanity lasted over two months

but I never contemplated suicide.

I had within me what Camus calls "an invincible summer".

I just didn't want to go mad.

We shouldn't look for the reasons, because there aren't any.

- It's tough for those left behind. - Of course.

And when it's a reversal of roles.

Of course, when it's not in the natural order of things.

Your kid should see you die...

That's why I think it's brave

what you're both doing.

We're trying to maintain life.

I've done lots all year. I've always done things...

well, for Youri, to keep him alive.

We're retracing his journey, finding the paths,

the photos he took, and recreating them.

We're going to see Marzi too.

So there's something...

joyful about it. We're finding joy along the way.

We'll do our little show.

Magic, magic.

It's here.

It's a balloon!

- I'm a booze passenger. - You're a booze passenger.

I'm not at all a bon vivant.

I'm a corpse, I'm all dead.

No, you're a bon vivant.

No, I'm a dead bon vivant!

Antonio Di Lello.

In those days, you called people by their surname.

I've never done something for a friend before.

This is the first time, you know,

I've done something out of friendship. I had no time to think about it.

When you asked me, I said yes.

If I'd had time to think about it, I'd have said no.

But I didn't have time. And I've realized...

this is the first time I've been a friend for real,

willfully a friend.

At the same time, I don't know what use it is.

I don't know...

what use a friend can be where you're at now.

I never realized I could be a friend,

that I could be here,

in the wilds of Romania, surrounded by wolves,

with a guy and say, "We'll cycle if you want to.

"If you don't want to, we won't.

"If you want us to brush the dog, we'll brush the dog."

This is the first time...

Oh my God!

Do you mind if I come closer?

It isn't for a cuddle, you know!

- I'll hide behind him. - It's crazy,

they're shooting at him.

They're shooting at him now.

It's a crazy paradox.

Your child is giving me the best moments of my life.

Fuck.

It's a crazy paradox.

It's absolutely insane.

Sorry, buddy.

Smile, OK?

Please.

Hang on.

C'mon, let's go.

I'm OK. Just take the photo! I want the photo.

It doesn't matter that I'm crying.

I want you to smile, Mathias.

- Like him. - I will smile, give me a minute!

When we chose the name "Youri",

we were thinking of Gagarin.

He came here for a reason.

His clown's name was Youri Margarine.

Not bad!

A great pun.

Right, buddy...

Shall we go?

Bye, Yuri.

- What's next? The beach? - Yes, let's go to the beach.

To enjoy the Black Sea!

Unlike what people think, the Black Sea isn't black.

Apparently, it is quite dark.

My God, we've done it!

We've come a long way.

From the Atlantic to the Black Sea by bike!

Or almost.

Two men and a little dog.

Two men and a dog.

Look.

If we both do this, it makes two Ys.

Hey, kiddo!

- It's us. - We're here!

We're fucking here!

- Youri, we're here. - We're here!

This place is wild.

Right, everyone!

He looks like you.

That's why I bought it.

- Where is it? - That key, the photo.

Got the key?

No, I have to call him.

- But that key... - I got it.

I recognize the photo.

Where are you?

What do you mean, downstairs?

Shit.

- Where is he? - I don't know, he said downstairs.

Josef?

- Dad? - Joe?

- Dad? - There he is!

Oh shit!

What are you doing here?

I came to meet Marzi with you.

All right, big boy?

- All right, Unc? - How are you?

We forgot the key!

Oh fuck!

Hang on...

Hang on, I've got it.

I have the key. I didn't fucking realize.

Ah, it's the wrong key.

It isn't the right key.

Fuck!

Shitty world.

Hang on, I'll call the Airbnb guy.

My God, my God...

Stop, you're making me cry.

We're seeing Marzi.

This is the first time I'm pleased to see someone I don't know.

We've seen her photo, though. She's cute.

I saw her on FaceTime with Youri,

- when he was in Iran. - You did?

She's an actress.

You OK, little boy?

It'll be fine.

I'm so glad you came.

It's beautiful.

Son.

Dad.

I'm tired of being stupid. I'm sick of it.

That's for sure.

- This is embarrassing, guys. - What is?

We're not letting go.

Your old dad and uncle.

- You're like an escort. - Stop it.

Look...

- Doesn't it give you strength? - Loads.

- This life, and not another. - See?

This life, and not another.

You have to get Unc home after.

You have to get him home.

- We will. - I like this.

I'm finally discovering I like it.

That's because you're older.

I feel a bit young to enjoy it.

- Because you're thinking of ugly stuff. - Yeah!

Think of nice stuff.

Remember it's your dad and uncle!

- All right, guys? - Totally stressed.

- She isn't going to bite us. - For sure.

Let's rehearse.

What's your name?

Mathias.

- And you? - Josef.

We have to speak English.

That's all the English I know.

Shit, she's here.

How do you say, "Son rire était merveilleux?"

To Youri.

I had a dream last night. I dreamed of Youri.

He was beautiful.

He was young, just 17.

And he said to me,

"I'm alive, Dad, I'm alive."

And I said, "No, Youri, you're dead."

He kept saying, "No, I'm alive."

Then he put his hand

on a kind of moving belt,

you know, a running machine,

and his hand disappeared then reappeared.

He showed me that he could disappear and reappear,

disappear and reappear,

endlessly.

And I thought, "Maybe that's what death is?

"A change of state.

"He's still alive."

I prefer to think that than to think Youri is no more.

I prefer to think he's here by our side,

but we can't see him. He can only speak to us

through the people he sends us.

We don't know any prayers,

but we can say something.

You left too soon

Coming alive only in a dream

In my glass I drown my sorrow

Hoping to see you tomorrow

I recall your laugh

And put it down in verse

Each memory makes me cry

As your every smile hid a sigh

I thought you were over the worse

But it was just the reverse

I was afraid, I didn't dare say

We try our best not to fall

It takes courage to end it all

I can't believe it, I failed to see it coming

Kiss Grandma for me

Tell her how my grief grows

It's not the same story without you

How could love have lied so?

As kids we fought but then we grew

In the corridors I watch you

How you inspire me

We compare ourselves, I follow your crazy ideas

Look

Look at what you built

You could have flown so high

Had you not wanted to die

We'll see you soon.

Sure you won't join us?

I can't, I can't.

See you in 3 months.

Be careful.

- Be very careful. - We will.

Look after each other.

Bye.

I haven't said bye to the dog. Bye, buddy.

He's got his specs.

Right...

It's pretty big, huh?

Imagine us on a tandem?

We'd be in China!

We'd be on the other side of the world by now.

- Bye, buddy. - Be careful.

Off we go... Hang on, together!

1, 2, 3!

For Youri

RIDE AWAY

For our sons

Romanian Road

Iron Gates (Serbian Border)

Szechenyi Baths (Hungary)

Subtitles by Susannah Rooke

Subtitling TITRAFILM