All language subtitles for This.Life.S01E07.Seeing.Red.1080p.ROKU.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-FFG_track3_[eng]

- My cancer's back.
- That feeling

of being completely powerless
you were talking about...

there's a freedom in that,
if you can find it.

I need you guys to step up
with Mom. Be more present.

I'm not ready for a family.

- I'll get the abortion.
- I think we broke up.

- Oh! What are you doing?
- Tom's dead.

That must have been
very hard on you.

You can be with Sarah,
with me, or both of us.

But not with anybody else.

Thanks for this. And
obviously, don't tell Mom.

Only do this if you really
want to, OK?

- I wish things were different.
- Me too.

- What is that?
- You tell me.

I got it for Emma.
Her birthday's coming up.

Hey, it's me. This is the new
number you can reach me on.

I would like to come see you.
I just wanted to

let you know how serious I am
about finding a better way

to have my son in my life.

♪ Waitin' for the good lord
to save me ♪

♪ Drive you out to the country ♪

♪ Yeah, we're still hunting ♪

♪ By the ship on this shore ♪

♪ And I ♪

♪ Was terrified ♪

♪ That the dark... ♪
- What?

You need to let her do what
she's trying to do down there.

I'm so not
in the mood for this.

I know, but she needs it, OK?
You too.

Wait, wait.

Thanks.

You know, you're allowed to
enjoy your 16th birthday.

This looks great.
I'm starving.

Hey Emma, do you want me to
drive you to school?

I need my bike.
Thanks for the offer, though.

I'll pick us up dinner
on my way home later?

Actually, I was thinking...
it's not too late

to invite everybody over.
- Don't you have work?

Yeah, but I can cook after.
Throw something together.

Mom. What if I don't want to?

Well, I'm not going
to force you.

Oh, but hey!
You could invite Jayden.

They're all going to
track you down anyways.

Better let them do it in
a controlled environment.

Mm-hmm. Not to mention...
presents.

Do you guys know if Romy's up
yet? She's gonna want to

see the lighting
of the birthday crêpe candle.

Uh, yeah.

I pulled the felt piece out of
a washable black marker

and used that.
- OK.

Why?
- I just wanted to.

Is it something you saw
online, or--

I followed an impulse.

Is that such a crime?

As long as you're happy
with how it looks.

I don't care how it looks.

Don't forget you've
got Luke at 2 o'clock.

Hey, why don't I pick
you up early for that?

We can go shopping?
Your gift for Emma is on me.

Pass.

- The other night...
- Was fun.

It was.

And a mistake.

Yeah, that too.

It's not like
we talked about Romy.

It's not like
we talked about anything.

You can relax. I'm not
looking for a relationship.

'Cause you're just out of one.

Actually, my boyfriend
died two months ago.

He did?

Oliver, I'm so sorry.

How?
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Do I know you?

Uh... maybe.

Like five years ago, didn't
you live downstairs from
me on St. Urbain?

No, sorry.

You sure? 'Cause I know
I know you from somewhere.

Russ Quinn.
- Oliver Lawson.

It's a pleasure to meet you,
Oliver Lawson. You've
just been served.

Just superficial changes.

You want me to grab
a dictionary and look
up the word "superficial"?

You've got a lot on your
plate these days. I don't mind
picking up some of the slack.

Yeah.

I think I'm done, Greg.

Forever?

I mean... the last time you were
sick, you worked through it.

Yeah, this isn't
like the last time.

And it's not
about strength, it's...

it's a question of priorities.

There are better ways
to spend your time.

Except...

you can't quit,
or you'd risk losing insurance.

Though you are still owed
six weeks' vacation.

Vacation.

Sure, let's call it that.

Hey. I saw your name
on the list.

Been anxious all morning.

I hope you don't mind
I made an appointment.

Could have called.

We needed to do this
in person.

So you've made a decision
about me coming to Ottawa

more often.

Look, I can't argue
with the idea that it's good
for Julian to know his father.

- Yeah.
- OK? But, um...

if you're going
to be around more,

he's going to start
asking questions.
- Yeah, yeah. I know.

I'm sorry, uh, what...
what kind of questions?

Well, for one,
he calls you uncle.

You're not my brother.
He knows my brother.

Eventually, he's going
to figure that out.

And so you want us
to tell him the truth, then?

Only if we're completely
honest about things.

- OK.
- Which means your wife

and daughter know, too, and we
all find a way to move forward.

- Uh...
- Because you were just

planning to lie to Nicole?
- No,

no, I'm not...

lying. I'm, I'm actually
trying to shield her.

I'm not going to make our son
part of a conspiracy.

- A what?
- And what will that teach him

about his father and
how he values him and...

- What if I can't?
- If you can't?

- Yeah.
- Well...

I've already told him there's
different kinds of families

and ours is just the two of us.

So...
- Oh.

So it's, uh...

so it's blow up my marriage
or lose my son.

You're kidding.

Come on!
- Matt. It's been a long time.

It's been a long time. Maybe
your wife will understand.

Yeah.

"Oh, honey, remember Beatrice?
Well, it turns out

"we messed around a few times.
We conceived a son

"who we now want to co-parent.
Do you have any questions?

Do you have any concerns?"

Well, just, uh...

take some time
to think about it.

Yeah.

I know we were meeting at the
restaurant, but...

- God.
- Do we...

This is Beatrice Taylor.
She was our server at Mercado

for all those years?
- Oh, right!

We haven't seen
you there in ages.
- I know, I finished my degree

and moved on, so.
- Oh, yeah. It was...

philosophy?
- Public policy.
I consult for an MP now.

Anyway...

- Thanks.
- It was nice to see you.

- Yeah, you too.
- She's kinda young

to need a heart surgeon.
- Hey, you know I can't talk

about that kind of stuff.

But I see patients
her age all the time.

Come on.
- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Happy birthday.

It's a thumb drive.

Thanks.

Loaded it up with all my
favourite songs for you.

You can listen to it when you
train for triathlon.

Something's different
about you.

I can't put my finger on what.

Wow, aren't you crazy
perceptive?

Actually,

I'm studying telepathy online.

Soon I'll be able
to communicate without speaking.

- Feel free to start now.
- Want me to prove it?

That's not fair. It's probably
easier on the weak-minded.

Your sister's pretty upset
about something.

Whatever it is, she sure wants
the whole world to know.

Dylan. What the hell?

No, you said that you wanted

to discuss the estate.

So you served me
with legal papers?

I went to Montreal because
my family needs me.

I understand that you are
upset about your father.

I am too.

I don't want to fight
with you over money.

Dylan, your father gave it to
me. I didn't ask for this.

How... What?

No. It was his idea.

So, did you decide
to paint your bedroom

before or after you took
leave from your job?

After. But I have been
wanting to do this...

since forever.

- Why today?
- Because after I left work,

I went to see Sybil.

And when Sybil reprograms me,

my whole body gets warm.

I close my eyes and I see red.
And she told me

that red is a healing colour.
And this...

is the first thing I see when
I wake up in the morning.

I'm just going to do the one
wall. And when I'm done,

I'm going to make dinner
for Emma's birthday.

Should we smudge the room
later, too?

You know, I can call my shaman.
- I don't care that it
sounds crazy.

I am not letting all the minor
things overwhelm me.

OK. And this...

this party tonight.

are you sure that's a non-crazy
thing to be planning?

You don't think
it's a good idea?

I can see why Emma
might not be into it.

I didn't force her.

And anyways,
maybe we'll have fun.

So what then? After the one
red wall is painted?

I don't know. Is that so bad?

How does it feel to be
the aimless sister?

Hey, can you come tonight?

Or are you too busy
slinging drinks?

- Oliver told you?
- He also told me about

your adventures in polyamory.

- Why can't anybody in this
family just keep a secret?
- I think

he's worried about you.
- Yeah, well,

everybody likes to say that
I don't commit to anything.

Now I have.
- Maggie.

This is not what we meant.

Are people bringing dates to
this dinner tonight?

What would Mom and Dad say
if I brought them both?

Probably the same thing
I'm about to say.

Listen, I will save you
the trouble.

- I was about to ring.
- Oh.

- Ariel?
- Oh, hi, Natalie.

Hey. Caleb's at school.

I know. I went to
your office first.

You're looking for me?

I didn't mean to pressure you.
I just thought, at least

if you were there too...

Except with your mom
and all that,

it just seems like it should be
a family-only kind of thing.

Yeah, you're right.

Don't worry about it.

So?

Losing hallway
and closet space there.

Yeah, but Romy and Emma
get rooms upstairs

and the kids' bath is updated.

So how long
is this going to take?

Olivia's waiting on
our say-so to go to blueprints.

Why's she
roughing out the basement?
- It's where Caleb will sleep

when he stays.
- OK.

Look.

We could build

a lower-level walkout
with an outdoor kitchen,

where you can grill year-round.
- I just think that, actually,

the basement as-is is good
enough for Caleb, so...

It's a luxury, you're right.

And my office is a good size.
We put a wall down the middle
and the girls have bedrooms.

Honey, I want them
to be comfortable.

Proper rooms will make
them feel at home,

and I can help them decorate.

We've made a commitment
to Natalie.

It's going to be hard on--
- What's happening to my sister

is not an excuse
for a dream reno, OK?

That's unfair and you know it.

Epic, right? I was in gym,

next up for the stupid rope
climb. Turns out fear of
heights isn't considered

a "real excuse."
- The rope will still
be there when you get back.

- Which is why we should
bail now.
- I wish.

If your day's been anywhere
near as bad as mine,

it'd be epic.
- And you just used up

your annual quota on that word.
- Come on.

Caleb's always so stoic.
Ariel's really worried
about him.

So she came over
to report to his mommy?

Aw, she was just
trying to help.

But I can't force him
to confide in me,

or force him to confide in her.

Not after what happened, no.

He was like this last time,
too. And I know it's hard

on him, but it's how he...

What did you say?
After what happened?

Nothing.

You know, their, uh,
their breakup.

I didn't say they broke up.

- Didn't you?
- No, I definitely did not.

What, did they?

I assumed

from what was implied that--
- OK, D, come on.

I'm not stupid. What else
aren't you telling me?

What?

Ariel's pregnant.

No.

Oh, oh, no. I mean,
WAS pregnant.

Important distinction,
I realize.

OK, wait. You mean
she lost the baby, or--

No. She had it taken care of.

She didn't want to, at first,
but Caleb convinced her.

And he told you all this?

And not me?
- He wanted to protect you.

With everything
you're going through.

And you?
Why didn't you tell me?!

I know.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

♪ Rock me slowly ♪

♪ Spend me quick ♪

♪ Tonight I feel ♪

♪ I want to die on your hips ♪

♪ Push me now ♪

♪ Turn me on ♪

♪ I'm still weak ♪

♪ You say you love me so ♪

♪ But your body's
telling me to go ♪

♪ And your touch
is carrying me so low ♪

♪ Your heart is dying out
I know ♪

Thank God.

This place completes me.

Our own Bizarro palace.

We could nail the chairs
to the ceiling

and line the floors
with trampolines.

And take in all
the stray city dogs

and only install doggie doors.

I like regular doors.

Fine. You get a normal door.

But we need a secret knock
so you can let me in.

And we could plaster the
walls, Banksy style.

Whatever the punishment,
we will accept it.

Normally, it's a two-day
suspension for the fire alarm.

And skipping class?

Well, the afternoon was almost
over, so two days will do.

But what about
her hair, Natalie?

What's that about?
- I don't know.

I don't know, I...

I guess she's just
needing a distraction.

Her teachers say that she's
been more quiet than normal.

- Yeah.
- Does she tell you
about her sessions with Luke?

No.

And I'm supposed to be
taking her there right now,

which I guess is
not going to happen.

There's a possibility that's
why she did this today.

Yeah.

I was trying so hard
to let all the little things

just roll off...

but all the little things

just keep getting bigger.

Listen, I want to help.

I know, and you have, and I--

No, that's not what I mean.

I mean I want to be
in your life.

I mean, I don't know exactly
what that means,

but somehow, you know?
If you want me.

I care about you, Natalie.
This is where we are right now.

I just can't... turn that off.

But your daughter.

Well, she already knows
that life is messy.

Maybe we can leave her
out of it, for a while.

Why don't you come over
to my house tonight,

for dinner? Meet my family.

- I have piano lessons at 3.
- Badass.

If I miss them,
my mom goes apeshit

about the waste of money.

If you leave now,

you won't get to
see me climb this.

- Nobody's coming home?
- Not yet.

Are you sure about this?

Yeah.

Ariel came to see you?
Why would she do that?

Because she's worried about
you. About how you're dealing

It just happened.
I didn't want to bother you.

OK, but with everything else
that's going on...

Caleb, I know this
can't be easy for you.

What else did she say?

Nothing.

It just... You know
I'm here, right?

Trying to put it behind me.

Anyway, you've got more
important problems.

- Honey, that's not true.
- Can we pick this up later?

I'm playing basketball and
10 bucks says Romy's
already at home,

sulking in her room.
- Sure.

Bye.

It's an investment account.
Tom would fund it,
I had access to it.

But in his will he said
he was giving it to me.

- How much are we talking about?
- Almost 80,000.

- You've been spending it?
- Just a tiny bit, to live.

I don't have anything else.

And now his son
is contesting the estate.

Yeah, you shoulda heard Dylan
on the phone. Basically accusing
me of shaking his father down.

It's all here.
He's suing you for fraud,

and considers the money that
you already spend theft.

I'll just sign the account
over to him and be done
with this.

It might not be that easy.
He wants punitive damages,

which, depending on how things
go... that could be really high.

You gotta put me
in touch with Clarissa.

My old boss? It's Teresa.
And no, I cannot.

Because you quit? People quit
their jobs all the time.

I need help.
- You need to go to LA

and fight this. If Tom
put you in his will,

that money is yours.
- How do you know?

No offense, but you were
just a secretary.

Offense taken,
and I paid attention.

She's a litigator. It was almost
always about money.

Couldn't she just offer
me up some pointers?

No, OK? Just believe me.

Things ended badly there.

I get that you're hell-bent on
making a mess of your own life,

but do I have to suffer too?
- I think you're doing
a pretty good job

making a mess of things
on your own.
- Fine.

Forget it. I'll just rip it up
like a parking ticket.

Oliver. They'll get
a judgement in your absence.

You'll lose everything that
Tom wanted you to have.

And if the judge awards damages,
it'll ruin you.

Doesn't matter.

Caleb! What are
you doing here?

- You ambushed my mother?
- Ambush?

No! I was just worried about you
and knew you wouldn't--

Bullshit! You want to live
happily ever after

and when things don't go your
way you go behind my back?

- I was only trying to help.
- Well, don't.

She's got enough problems
without you piling on

about babies and abortions.
- I never told her about
the baby.

Caleb, calm down. Please.
- I'm done being calm!

You're scaring me.

Well, maybe now you'll listen.

Get out. Go. Get out!

Ah!

I'm sorry.

Just leave. You leave,
or I'll call the police.

I said I was sorry.

Romy...

Come on.
- Look at all this crap.

Whoever wore these is definitely
haunting this place now.

We should put them on
and have a séance.

Or instead of that,

you climb down from there
and we go.

Romy?

What's wrong?

Are you OK?

Yeah.

Are you crying?

Not because it was...

It was just weird.

Not bad... just... yeah.

Weird.

Yeah, I think the first time
sometimes sucks.

Wait. Was this...

Yeah.

- Girls?
- Be right down!

If she asks, we just got here

and the door was open
the whole time.

And now you have to stay for
dinner, or she won't buy it.

I offered to call her mom,
but she said it had to be you.

She's stopped crying,
but she won't come down

or say anything.

Cool digs.

Wow.

Truancy, vandalism, trespassing,

and you went goth
all in one day.

Busy day, huh?

Romy?

Romy!

I need to know
if you can hear me.

I don't know
how to get down.

OK. That's OK.

I'll come to you.

Here.

Alright.

Whoa! Um...

Make it to the ladder and then
I'll help you down, OK?

I can't breathe.

My arms are heavy.

I'm dizzy.

OK, Romy? I think you're
having a panic attack.

They seem really scary but
they're actually pretty common.

Feels like I'm dying.

I know. But trust me,
you're not.

What I need you to do
is close your eyes

and take a breath.

Come on, try a slow breath.

I don't know why I bother.

People just inhale them
without looking.

Romy's fine.

She's with Oliver.

I'm sure she was just
blowing off some steam.

Are you OK?

Yeah.

I was trying to let everything
just roll off me,

you know?
Give them room to react.

But...

Oh, God! Ah!

- Oh, my God!
- How did that even happen?!

Oh, my God. You killed it!

It was at 500.
- Ugh! I put it
on high to sear it.

Um, maybe if we just cut
around the edges.

Emma doesn't even want this
stupid dinner. What the
hell am I doing?

Your best.

Anyway, she'll forget everything

when she gets her new phone.

Her what?

Matthew said he
cleared it with you.

Her birthday present?

Oh, he must have.

That's very generous
of you guys.

If you don't want her
to have it...

No, I'm sure I said
it was fine.

There's just a lot
going on with me lately.

Us too.

Look who's home.

- What happened here?
- Total massacre.

I'm good, really. I don't want
you worrying about me.

Caleb, I'm still your mother.

And it's OK for you
to need my help.

I know, but I'm alright.

Hey, hey, hey!
You're bleeding.

Uh... tripped
playing basketball.

Any word from Romy?

You know, I was your age the
first time it happened to me.

Maggie wanted me to ride the
Ferris wheel at La Ronde
with her.

I was afraid,
but I did it anyway.

And when our car stopped at the
top, suddenly I couldn't move.

Everything got shaky
and blurry and I freaked.

And then I barfed all over
her brand-new floral Keds,

which she bought with
her babysitting money and
for some reason actually liked.

When we got down,
they had to hose the cage.

What if it happens again?

That's why it's important to
try to understand what
brought it on.

You mean what I was feeling?

That's the idea.
Unless I've wasted

thousands of dollars in therapy.

She used to wear one
just like this.

On vacation, right?

Her stupid travel hat.

Why don't you bring it to her?

After you get it
extensively fumigated.

Take me home.

I have a clinic for
consultations and O.R.
privileges in two hospitals.

- So you're busy.
- I am, yeah.

- And he's teaching in Ottawa.
- You are?

Since when?
- Uh, I've actually decided

just to hold off on that.
- Oh, you weren't gonna tell me?

I am now.

Em!

You remember Mr. Wallace.
- Happy birthday, Emma.

Thanks.

- Hey, Jayden.
- Hello.

Hi. Glad you could make it.
Grab something to drink!

The chutes go down
and the ladders go up. OK?

You're doing a good thing,

showing up for
your sister's kids.
- Thank you. Thank you, Dad.

- Hello?
- Oh, I got it!

Are we gonna play?
My move. One, two, three...

- Hey!
- Dinner is... saved?

- Is that gonna be enough?
- Uh, I think we should be good.

- Hello.
- My brother, Matthew.

Hey, guys.
- Hello!

- Hi!
- Hey!

Did you hear that we're
renovating the gym next year?

- Nice.
- Hi.
- Hi again.

Oh, you remember
Simon and Sarah?

- Thank you for having us.
- Yeah, well... I'm really
glad you could make it.

- I can take that.
- Thank you.

Guys, make yourselves at home.
Get some wine.

- Hi, Maggie?
- Yeah?

Will you help me with
something upstairs for a minute?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

This was mildly
amusing in theory, but--

They're in my life!
Should I have to hide that?

- Yes!
- OK, you know what? My
life choices are just as valid

as anyone else's, whether
you choose to understand
them or not.

OK. Now who are you trying
to prove that to

by parading them around like
this, huh? Us? Or yourself?

Please. It is not
even like that.

Ah, Maggie.
You know what? Fine.

OK, what about your own
controversial love life?

Andrew is downstairs.
- Well, exactly.

That is gonna traumatize
everybody enough.

- Why did you bring him?
- I don't--

I don't know.

I got swept up.

I mean, it makes no sense.
He knows there's no point.

But he still wants
to stick around.

And I like him.

- Natalie!
- Well then, there is a point.

Where's your big serving dish?

Ugh! But not to that.

That's Jayden.

He thinks he forgot
something up here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!
On your birthday, even?

What? No.

Don't tell Mom.
- Give a girl some credit!

Was this the first?

How was it?

- I don't know.
- Awkward?

Kinda hurt?

But you didn't hate it,
except when you kinda did?

I'm not advocating this, OK?

But it does get better
with practice.

A-ha.

- What happens next?
- I don't know.

Nothing, probably.
What do you mean?

Like, what does it mean
to our relationship?

Whatever you want it to mean.

Hey.

Come on.

So Jayden. I hear
you're some kind of runner?

- Yeah.
- Can't outrun my patented
boyfriend screening process.

Ignore him.
He'll tire himself out.

There you are!
- By all means,

start without us.
- Hey!

- Hey.
- Hey, you made it.

Welcome home. Thank you.

Hey, Aunt Maggie.

Oliver.

I pulled
the fire alarm.

I know.

So you and my daughter are...?

Friends.

Close friends.

So how long have you and
Mr. Lawson been married?

50 years this fall.

That's amazing.

You know, the very first night

Gerald took me out,
I fell in love with him.

- The first night?
- First night.

He had no plans. Nowhere to go,
not even an idea.

And I lied to my mother about
who I was going out with.

And in the end, we just...

we just drove around and
we just talked for hours.

And then we ran out of gas--

- Oh, sure.
- near St. Zotique. We did!

- Sure.
- We had to walk three miles

to a service station.

Where we had
our very first kiss.

Smooth, smooth.

I even let him
get to second base.

Mom!

Too much
information! No!

Hey, leave her alone!
That's a good story, Mom.

Oliver.

You never told us
how you met Tom.

In a bar. You don't want
to know the rest.

- Here's to Tom.
- To Tom!

Tom! Emma.

It's your turn.

Oh, don't get too mushy.

I'll get as mushy as I want,

'cause this evening we're
celebrating our darling Emma's

sweet 16.

What in God's name
happened to your hair?

Art project.

Girl after my own heart.

It'll rinse out, Dad.

Her mother already has cancer.

Are you trying to give her
a heart attack?

Too soon?
- Yeah. Yep.

- No.
- Thank you.
- Finish your speech, sweetie.

Sweetheart, finish your speech.

To Emma, happy birthday.

To the rest of my family...

I love you.

Bravo, honey.

Aww.
- Hear, hear.

Happy birthday!

- Good speech.
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday.

- Well.
- Presents?
- Speech? No, speech!

♪ Won't you come back
upon the Earth? ♪

♪ And stand your ground ♪

♪ You're still looking
for a man ♪

♪ That won't be found ♪

Oh, Abby!

What have you done?

You're gonna have to help me

put everything back
in its right place, alright?

Do you remember
what belongs to who?

Mm? You do. OK! That's good.

We're all good, then.

♪ Way out of reach ♪

No way. A new phone?

Oh, my God. Thank you!

It's from your aunt as well,
so give her a hug.

- Thank you, thank you.
- My pleasure.

- I love it so much.
- Good.

This one has an amazing
camera. Seriously high
resolution.

Can only guess what
they'll be using that for.

You're the expert.

Some people find
my expertise valuable.

Hey, can I see that?

You really did pay attention
when you were working
for that lawyer.

I choose not to be offended
that you are so surprised.

What am I gonna do
about Tom's son?

I don't know. I'm just
a secretary, remember?

- Need a hand?
- Not a chance. I got this.

I think you look older.

Jayden seems nice.

You OK?

No.

I don't know.

I know.

Me too.

OK, uh...

We gotta go home, put Abby to
bed. Happy birthday.

Thanks.

- Hmm...
- Hmm.

So that was a generous gift.

Yes. Um...

OK. I know it's a little blip
in the big scheme of things,

but I'm not ready to be
cut out of the loop.

No, no, I'm sorry.
I meant to ask.

Um...

Also...

I don't appreciate being thrown
into the middle of a lie

you told Nic.

What's going on there?
- Nothing.

Nothing. I just forgot.

OK, if you say so.

Mom? You better
come over here.

Why? What's up?

Caleb? What's this about?

Sir, you're wanted for
questioning on a domestic
disturbance allegation.

If you're willing to cooperate,
we'd much rather do this
down at the precinct.

- Wait. He has to go with you.
- No.

No, at this point
it's strictly voluntary.

But there are a few details
he'd be wise to clear up.

For his own good.
- Yeah. I'll answer
whatever questions you have.

- Great. I'll give you a ride.
- Hey, no, wait!

Sorry, Mom. Don't worry.
I'll straighten this out.

Caleb, what's going on?

Do you know what this is about?

Don't worry.
Everything's fine.

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