All language subtitles for This.Life.S01E04.This.Life.1080p.ROKU.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-FFG_track3_[eng]

Now, stop whatever else
you're doing

and turn these changes around.

- You quit your job?
- Yeah.

- What colour are Tom's eyes?
- Brown.

- Did you two break up?
- Nope.

This extension for Tom Chisolm
is no longer active.

I'm moving in with Ariel.

- Are you in love with her?
- Yeah.

I heard you went boxing?

- Oh, you read my column.
- What are you guys looking at?

Looks like we're not alone.

OK, I'll go to the shrink,

but only if you promise
to come with me.

Of course.
Jayden?

Is that a boy or a girl?
- Mom, he's just a friend

from triathlon.
- If that biopsy

confirms the scan,
I maybe have a year.

How am I supposed
to use that time?

Hey.

Found you!

You have 10 seconds to stop me
from releasing the virus.

What kind of hide-and-seek
is this?

Romy edition.
More of a pandemic thing.

I don't like her playing
violent games.

Not even imaginary ones.
- I didn't.

I still wound up with a healthy
contempt for authority.

- I'd listen to that story.
- So are your parents

coming tonight?

I have a feeling
they weren't invited.

- Anyone for more wine?
- I'll take some.

- Yeah? Red or white?
- Oliver. Hello.

Uh, relax. I'm just kidding.

- So how's school?
- Fun.

Little tip.

Stay in the middle if you can.
If you're too far behind

or too far ahead,
they're all over you.

Yeah, let's not tell
your mom about this?

OK.

Hey, do you know how I can get
this to vibrate on silent?

Yep.

It's been a week.
Think they're going to call

with your results tomorrow?

I hope they do.

And I also hope they don't.

Thanks.

Talking to Matthew was like
talking to Dad.

Hey, where's Maggie?

I should go.

♪ Wake up, look around ♪

♪ And feel the perfume
of the world ♪

♪ Then walk and tell
your friends ♪

♪ Hey, hey, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Tomorrow's shiny,
happy dreamers ♪

♪ Hey, hey, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Tomorrow's shiny,
happy dreamers ♪

♪ I'll stay for today ♪

You're supposed
to be making salad.

Let's do it here.

- On the floor?
- Yeah.

After dinner. I don't want
the fish to burn.

♪ Hey, hey, whoa, whoa ♪

Well,

the advice I give my pre-op
patients coping with uncertainty

is always the same--

Yeah, but I'm not waiting
for a bypass.

- Right.
- Your patients have hope that

you'll be able to fix them.

Natalie,
you're allowed to hope.

I was looking into...
stem cell transplants?

No, that's still
too experimental

and there's a risk
of major side-effects,

and you're not there yet.

Come in.

Dishes are done,
Abby's down for the count

and Oliver took the girls
to that movie.

- Thank you.
- We just need one more minute.

Yeah, OK.

So can you sleep?

I can take something.

OK.

What are you doing?

Offering Jim's fancy stereo
to the raccoons.

- Why now?
- Because he loves it

and since he's gone,
I don't have to listen

to the stupid Eagles
on it anymore.

Isn't this stuff worth
a lot of money?

You should see the money
the lawyers are finding.

Although Jim won't have it
for very long, because

I plan on fighting him
for every penny.

Are you sure that's the best
use of your energy, D?

Yes.

What are you doing up?

I took a pill
and it didn't work.

- No, I can't mix it with that.
- Oh, believe me. A little cut

of bourbon will do wonders.
- No.

Fine. Wait here,
I bought you something.

Hmm...
Presents.

I know you're going nuts
waiting for your results,

so why not start taking action?

"Love Your Tumour."

It's a more holistic approach
to your illness.

Yoga, diet, colonics,

acupuncture...
- Yeah, thanks.

I'd rather have the bourbon.

Did you fall asleep
in Abby's bed?

I lie with her
for even a second--

I'm out like a light.

Go back to sleep.
- OK.

Last time your sister
was sick,

remember we discussed being
there for her kids?

You mean having them live
with us, if--

Yeah, yeah.
If it came to that.

What, are you saying you don't
want to offer that anymore?

Of course I do.
I, I wondered

if we should remind her we will.
- Oh, no, no. It's too soon.

I want to make sure she knows
we're there--

- She knows, believe me.
- Honey, as a mother

I can tell you, it would give
her peace of mind.

Nic. Leave it, for now.

OK?

'K. Fine.

It's a little early
for that, no?

I'm having breakfast with Mom.

Oh.

Want me to see if I can scrounge
up some heroin?

What?

When we lived in New York,
before Tom dragged me to LA,

one year the Guggenheim brought
in a bunch of Kandinskys.

He paints these circles.
Circles and circles and circles.

You remind me
of one of his circles.

Why, because
I have the mysterious
allure of abstract art?

He called them
"stable but unstable."

Weightless. Drifting away.

Yeah, I think you need to ease
up on the hallucinogens.

It's an $88 billion
industry

about labeling people defective,

which is probably creating
the zombie apocalypse

by pumping us full of drugs.
- Romy--

I'm trusting you not to let
the shrink lobotomize me.

The man you're seeing
is a psychologist

and that means he can't
prescribe drugs.

It wasn't that long ago
that psychology

was based on measuring skulls.

That was around 200 years ago.

Yeah, but in the grand scheme
of the universe that's
like yesterday.

Be ready at 1:45, OK?

- Bye, Mom.
- See ya.

- Got a sec?
- Yeah, sure.

What's up?

Uh, listen. People read you,

which is good for the section,

which is good for me.

But...

lately, uh, you've been...

all over the place?

Renouncing everything
one week...

I know, I'm sorry... and then
the next week, recycling

a column from last year--
- It's fine. Writers get
restless.

But if you want to find,

uh, a more permanent way

to change things up,

we can always talk about it.

Wow. Um, can I think
about that?

Yeah, absolutely.

OK.

I know you're really busy,
so I just wrote it myself.

"Maggie is bright
and hardworking."

As in, wears bright clothes

and works hard to do
as little as possible?

I realize that I quit
suddenly, but--

I was in the middle of a trial
when you walked out the door
without notice.

I got someone from
the pool to cover for me.

Aren't you being a little bit
vindictive here?

I mean, I worked for you for
almost a year.

If I did write a letter,

here's what I would
want it to say:

"Margaret Lawson worked for me
for a total of eight months.

"Merely adequate, she was more
interested in her dinner plans

"than in the wellbeing
of the client.

It was clear that this
was just a job for her."

Anytime I offered you
anything beyond dictation,

you shot me down.
- You make an effort

two, maybe three times

and because I don't do
cartwheels of gratitude,

you quit? Where do you get
your sense of entitlement?

What are you even about,
except yourself?

So I won't be recommending
you to anyone else.

Hi.

Oh, I... I have to get Romy
to the therapist by 2.

OK. Well, then, brunch.

Aren't you supposed to be
managing the education
of my children?

No, I don't care
about your children.

I'm at a conference.

I can't stop thinking about you.

You're not going to class?

This prof puts his lectures
up online.

Hi.

Soroya said that you were
looking for me?

Where are you calling me from?
- My desk.

I'm sneaking some down time
between patients.

But you're on your cell?

Yeah, why?
Is the sound choppy?

No, no. I, I...

I just wondered if you felt like
grilling that tenderloin for
supper tonight.

Yeah, sure, if you make the
potatoes I love.

Yeah, I don't think
I have the right ingredients.

Well, then, we will improvise.
I will pick up a nice red

on my way home, OK?

- OK, bye.
- Yeah, bye. Love you.

Well, it sounds like
a good problem to have.

When I started the column,

I was immersed in my kids.

So it just kind of made sense,

writing about parenting.

Do you want to branch out?

I know I should want to.

You should? Why should you?

I don't know.

Do something... important.

More productive.

Well, you're talking
to a guy who has

his Masters in poetry.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, and who was stupid
enough to try to foist that

on his high school students.
The Romantics, of all things.

Hmm... didn't take?

No.

I went into administration.

And gave up something
you loved.

Hmm.

There's always
new things to love.

What?

Was it that bad?

For a poet, yes.

- Think I can walk it back?
- Depends.

Do you remember any poems?

Oh, um...

"The question, O me!

"So sad, recurring--

"What good amid these,
O me, O life?

"The answer.

"That you are here--
that life exists.

"The powerful play goes on,

and you will
contribute a verse."

It's Whitman.

It's only part of it and
I probably messed it up, but...

No, you didn't.

Yep?

They said I could
just come in.

Hey. Shouldn't you
be in school?

I'm only skipping Ethics.
And actually,

this is an ethical matter.

Or moral. I don't really
remember the difference.

I need a favour.
- OK, what's going on?

I want to go on the pill
and I don't want Mom to know,

so I thought
you could help me out.

Just last year, this girl
I know went to her doctor

and he gave her a hard time--
- So you thought that I would
just hand them over.

I thought...
you might be cool.

- OK.
- Or maybe even
impressed I was asking.

Alright.

Just help me understand, here...

OK?

Have you already been sexually
active? This is a question

I would ask any patient your age
who wanted the pill, Emma.

No.

Is this about that-- the boy,
the one who didn't like
you before?

There is no way that's
a question you would
ask any patient.

I just... Has he been with
other girls?

Because you do know the pill
doesn't protect against
STIs, right?

Look, it probably won't ever
happen, OK?

- OK.
- But just in case,
I want to be prepared.

Well, if you think
you like him,

and if you're feeling insecure--
- Are you going to help me
or not?

No. I'm sorry.

It wouldn't be right of me to
prescribe anything to you,
because you're my niece.

Then why didn't you just say
that in the beginning

and spare me the humiliation?
- Emma...

Emma!

How long are you staying?

Haven't decided.

Tom's going to miss you.

These chairs have been on
their last leg for,
like, 20 years.

Oh, take me shopping
for some new ones, then.

Dad would lose his mind,
wasting money on furniture.

Actually, he
never liked these chairs.

My mother bought them
and they hated each other.

- They did?
- Mm-hmm. Because

he wouldn't go to confession.

She thought we couldn't trust
him. She begged me not
to marry him.

Why are you telling me this?

Hello?

Yes, it is.

Uh, yes, over a week ago.

Did I have the wrong number?

When?

No, no, that's fine.

Thank you. Thanks for the call.

Hey.

You want that?

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Hi, this is Natalie Lawson.

- Hi, Sophia.
- Dr. Basra would like you to
come in, to discuss the results

of your biopsy.
- Yeah, OK. When?

How's this afternoon? She's
had a cancellation at 2:30.

Of course, I'll make that
work. Thanks!

See you then.

- Back to reality?
- Yeah.

What already?!

Yeah, peachy. You?

Your sister's been calling you
too. I have patients waiting
for me right now.

Are you just calling to berate
me, or is there something
actually going on?

your help, right now.

Can you manage that?

Can you manage to stop
patronizing me for,
like, five seconds?

Are you going to be there,
or not?

Shit!

Where is she?

- Where's Mom?
- She, uh, got tied up

with something important.
- Huh. Is that a direct quote?

Romy! Romy. Wait.

She didn't say that, I did. She
sent me a text full of typos.

"Emergency appointment.
Plz tell R so soppy."

See? Obviously
she meant "sorry."

Well, whatever.
She said she'd be here today

and if she can't
be bothered to drive me,

I can't be bothered to go.

You're right. She shouldn't
have stood you up.

That was wrong of her.

But your mom doesn't take this
stuff lightly, you know that.

She'd be here if she could.
And me,

I'd just be at Maggie's
apartment staring at the wall.

Who does that?
- Someone who could
use his own shrink?

As it happens,
I've had several

and it's really not so bad.

Not as bad as the trouble
I'll be in if I don't get
you to this appointment.

Come on.

Tom died?

Two months ago.

How did he die?

The woman from
the office didn't say.

What were you calling
him up for, anyway?

I just, I just called
to invite him up here.

Well, Oliver wouldn't have
liked that.

You shouldn't just wade in.
- But I did!

So now we know.
- It's completely ridiculous.

He talks about him like
he's still alive.

He was sitting right next to
me when I found out.

- You didn't say anything?
- How could I?

You're relieved.
- No!

Not that he died.

Tom's too old for Oliver, OK? Is
it wrong for me to say that now?

Yes. It is.

And if that's how you feel,

no wonder he doesn't
want us to know.

I don't have
great news for you.

The biopsy was positive.

It was. Yes.

OK. What now?

What we're typically looking
for when treating

Stage 4 Renal Cell Carcinoma
is a drug that contains

the least amount of toxicity,

which also offers us
the most to gain.

- And when you say gain, do--
- I'm prescribing

a targeted inhibitor
called Sunitinib.

We can expect it
to contain progression,

to slow the cancer,
but not to reverse it.

So this drug will...

not fix me,
but it might buy me time.

That's the idea.

Maggie!

Maggie.

I... would this...

make me feel sick, or--

No. The side effects are
relatively mild.

Fatigue, some nausea,
you may get rashes.

I'm recommending four weeks on,
then two weeks off.

Then you'll come back for more
bloodwork and imaging.

And your initial timeframe,
that still holds?

Maybe a year,
maybe a little more?

Start the meds.

We'll take things
six weeks at a time.

You can put your bag down.

We're only talking today, Romy.
Just meet-and-greet kind
of thing.

Oh, yeah. I have a doctorate in
adolescent psychology.

Like my own teen years
weren't hard enough,

now I get to stay that age
for a living.

I know you've been kidnapped.
Dragged here against your will

by your mother and your
principal and all these
concerned,

well-meaning adults,
just huddling and scheming

and wondering
what to do with you.

Know this.

I'm not here to report
back to those people.

I'm here for you. And everything
you say, or don't say,

stays in this room.

Alright, I get it. Now, listen.

Simply being here today means
your first session's been
wildly successful.

No matter what else
happens in the next...

37 minutes.

You mean, even if
we sit here in silence?

It's your dime.

Maggie?

Come on, we have to go.

I know I was completely
useless in there.

Yeah, what was that?

Brought you here to help me.

I'm just having a...

bad day.

And yes, I appreciate the irony

of that statement.

I'll try to do better.

I promise.

Thank you.

Well, I gotta say,
I'm impressed with your resolve.

That's our time.

But I have to come back, right?

Well, your principal
and your mother

are going to want to know how
many sessions I recommend.

Until I've been normalized.

All we're doing here
is just offering you

a chance to talk.
- Since I'm your prisoner,

would you like to check my work?

Sure.

I am rotten at math, so

I'll have to assume

you're not intentionally
flunking this time.

I skipped a grade, you know.

I'm almost two years younger
than some of those kids.

And is bringing your marks
down supposed to solve
that problem?

Because there are more
functional ways

to fit in, you know.

Oh, hello.

- Was that...?
- Jim's baseball?

Signed by the 1994 Expos?
Yes, it was.

Receipts?
- Yep.

I had to buy some new shears
and some leaf bags.

On the corkboard.
I'll get you some cash.

How much did you
sell the ball for?

$5. Plus all the pain
it will cost Jim.

Fantastic deal,
when you think about it.

- Who's "N"?
- What's that? N who?

The N who had the biopsy.

Nobody you know.

N is Natalie.

It's my mother, isn't it?

Is her cancer back?

Sit down.

Danielle, don't even
think of lying to me.

Just sit down, OK?

Good news: I'm not insane.

Luke, this is my uncle, Oliver.

My mom's too busy
and important to be here today.

It's a little more complicated
than that.

- Can we go now?
- Yeah.

Romy, it's been my pleasure.
Oliver, nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

Is she going to die?

I told you, she's...

she's waiting
for her biopsy results.

Danielle. Is she going to die?

Probably.

What should I do?

Oh, nothing yet.

Nothing, and you can't say
anything to her.

She made me promise.
You understand?

You've been estranged from
Oliver these last few years?

Well,

we speak once a month.

You know-- birthdays,
Christmas Eve...

but it never gets
much past the weather.

Some children prefer
their independence.

We just found out
his boyfriend died.

The man he's lived with
for years.

He kept it from us.

Do you think that's normal?

It's surprising,

but it may be the way
Oliver needs to grieve.

You knew my son was gay

even though
we never discussed it.

What would you have said to me

if I came to you 15 years ago,
after I learned about

his homosexuality?
- I'd have told you

to love him, and that God
is good for everyone.

And I'd have reminded you that
while his choices don't
correspond

to some interpretations of
scripture, they're his choices.

Do you know what
we said to him?

After he came out?

That we needed time
to accept it,

but that we'd love him anyway.

That was fair.

No. No child needs to hear
from his parents

that they are doing him the
favour of loving him.

You're taking too much
on yourself.

Oliver was always a challenge.

Remember when he broke
into his school

and the police brought him home
in the middle of the night?

My son, so brilliant
and proud,

wanted no part of our tolerance.

so he rebelled

and he removed us from his life.

And I'm angry at myself
for letting him.

And I'm angry at you
for letting me.

You want to do something?

Go bowling? Mini-golf?

Don't you have
anywhere else to be?

Not really.

Emma says I have no
social skills.

Well, good thing you're in
therapy, then.

How'd it go in there, anyway?

I told him what
he wanted to hear.

- Which was?
- I don't know,

that I needed help fitting in.

- Is that the truth?
- Does it matter?

He could think he fixed me
and then I could stop going.

Or you could try being
completely honest with him.

Is that a strategy
that's ever worked for you?

Shut up.
Go easy on her.

Well, the therapist says
I'm cured and we should all

move on with our lives.
- Honey, I am so sorry.

I'm going to take you to every
other session.

I promise, OK?

Thank you for taking her.

Do you think they connected?
- Give it time.

How was... your afternoon?

No surprises.

OK.

Hey! Does Danielle have you
doing yard work still?

Yeah. But I thought I'd have
dinner at home tonight.

Ah! That's great.

I've missed you.

Remember, it takes, like,
seven days to kick in.

- And you're sure it'll work?
- Yeah, yeah, it's the lowest

amount of hormones, but
it should do the trick. And
read all of the side effects,

so nothing surprises you.

Before you run out, give me a
call and we'll go to the clinic.

Thanks for this.
And, obviously,

please don't tell Mom.
- No, totally. No, it's better

if she doesn't know.
But you will be careful

and use a condom anyway and...

only do this
if you really want to, OK?

If you have any questions...

...anything at all,
you know where I am.

You gotta go now.

Hey, texty. Not at the table.

Don't you not
live here anymore?

- Emma...
- Careful. Cause any problems
and Mom will have you committed.

You're only being committed
because you worry everyone.

Oh, stop it.
Nobody is being committed.

So, Em. This Jayden,
is he your boyfriend?

I don't know.

What?

Nothing.

What is her problem?

I will love every one
of my stupid tumours,

if you think it'll help.

I'll run a triathlon
with my daughter,

if it'll do any good. And I will
read any book you want me to.

Because I'm ready
to face this, D.

OK.
- Later.

Simon asked me
to marry him tonight.

Wow, um... He gave you a ring?

Yeah, he just said it
when I came home.

Not right now, but he wants us
to think about it seriously.

Congratulations?

I think it was because of you.

After the other night, I think
he might have felt a bit
threatened.

- Do you want to marry him?
- I know I should.

Well, then, you probably
shouldn't be here.

I know, but I like it.

Being with you.
More than I thought I would.

You mind if I ask why?

Because you don't care about
all the trivial shit

that seems to worry
everybody else.

It's liberating.

Come on.

I'm really sorry about this.

She doesn't know you know?

Look, I realize this isn't
what you want, but

I need to be there for her.

You're doing the right thing.

Hey, have you seen the phone
bill? It was here this morning.

- Actually, I opened it.
- OK.

But there's only our phones on
that bill, so I'm wondering

who this belongs to.
- So what is that?

You tell me.

- Oh, was that, um--
- Yeah.

- In the sofa.
- Yeah.

- And locked.
- Yeah. I bought this for Emma.

Her birthday's coming up and

I was programming it last night.
After you went up,

I fell asleep watching TV.
I guess I must have dropped it.

Except it rang this morning
from a blocked number.

Telemarketer?

I don't know why I locked it.
Force of habit, I guess.

But, see? Look.

No other calls on the log.

Nicole, Natalie knows
about this.

Oh, you told her.

Hey, come on.
What did you think it was?

I didn't know.

But it's demeaning being kept in
the dark. Why can't
you see that?

I do, I do. Look,
I should have told you.

And you're right, we should talk
to my sister, because...

those kids are coming to us.

Our lives are going to change.

And I'll be the one driving
carpools and making dinner

while you're out working--
- No, no, no, come on.

I promise you, we're going to do
this together, OK?

Hello.

Two years ago, I had cancer.

And now it's back. And

I maybe have a year to live.

It was horrible and unfair of me

not to tell you this until now.

And I honestly don't know
what I was thinking,

letting things go
as far as I did.

But what happened between us...

it was clearly a mistake.

And I wanted you to know.

I'm really sorry.

♪ We're getting
older ♪

♪ Our hearts heavier ♪

♪ Winds are great ♪

♪ Sailing ♪

♪ To better lands ♪

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