Original subtitles

South Park - Season 11 Episode 1 "With apologies to Jesse Jackson"

And now back to Wheel of Fortune!

All right, Randy.

Congratulations on making it all the way to the bonus round!

Thanks, Pat!

You've got some family here watching tonight.

Yeah, they're all rooting for me.

And I'm sure you have lots of friends watching back home?

Yeah. Hi, everybody watching in South Park!

- That's us! - Hehey!

- Hey Randy! - Good luck!

Well let's see if you can't make everyone proud.

The category is "People Who Annoy You".

Okay.

As always, we give you the letters R, T, S, L, and E.

We just need three more consonants, and a vowel.

Okay I'd like a B,

an N,

and a G.

- And a vowel? - An O please.

Okay, well, looks like you're gonna get a lot of help here.

The category is "People Who Annoy You".

Audience, keep quiet, please.

Uh...

Well, uh...

Ten seconds, Mr. Marsh.

I know it but I don't think I should say it.

Five seconds, Mr. Marsh.

Oh all right uh, I'd like to solve the puzzle!

Niggers!

Huh?

Ohhh...

Oooo.

Oh naggers. Of course, naggers. Right.

Uhh, can we cut to a...

Can we cut to a-

Well? Gave it my best shot.

Least we had a fun trip, huh, gang?

I can't believe you said the N word on national television.

What? Well what was I supposed to do, Sharon?

I thought I was gonna make $30,000!

Stanley, the only reason Daddy used that word

is that he thought he would win money.

Dude, did your dad know that the show was being broadcast live?

Dude, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I watched it on YouTube about sixty times.

Can we just drop this please? I don't wanna talk about it!

Yeah well, it's not us you have to worry about.

It's Token.

He is gonna want to kick your cracker teeth in.

- No he's not. Is he? - I don't know.

I just need to explain things.

Hey Token.

Look, I don't know if you saw Wheel of Fortune last night, but-

Yeah, I was watching with my whole family.

And then we saw all the replays this morning in the news.

Listen, Token, my dad isn't a racist. He's just stupid, all right?

He just blurted out the N word, and it's no big deal, okay?

Uh, well, actually it is kindofa big deal, Stan.

Ohhhhhhhh?

It may be a mistake, but you don't understand how it feels

when that word comes up. So don't say it isn't a big deal.

Oh shit here we go! It's on!

Race war!!

Race war!! Race war!!

Race war is on, everybody! It's going down! Shit is going down!

Token, my dad wasn't trying to be offensive. Just forget about it.

- That's easy for you to say, Stan. - Yeah, come on! Here we go!

Yeah, but he didn't say it in anger or anything like that.

- That doesn't mean I can just be fine. - Race war! Come on! Race war!

If you really think it's not a big deal, then you really are ignorant.

That's all. I'm not "fighting" anybody.

Token forfeits! Whites win! Whites win!

Race war is over, everybody! Whites won again!

I want to apologize deeply and sincerely

for using the N word on Wheel of Fortune.

And I want to assure you that I am not a racist, Reverend Jackson.

The puzzle you were solving was "people who annoy you."

Wuhell like anybody else thought it was "naggers." I mean, right?

Mr. Marsh, you need to take time to understand African-American culture,

visit black museums, see black performers and artists.

Oh! Ah I will! I'm really down with African-Americans.

Do you really want to apologize? Are you sure?

Y-Yes, absolutely.

Very well. If you want to apologize, I will accept.

Hahh, thank you, Mr. Jackson, thank you.

Brian, get a picture of Mr. Marsh apologizing.

Ready to go, sir.

Kiss it.

- Huh? - Apologize. Kiss it.

- You want me to kiss your- - That's right. Apologize.

Agh, oh, okay. I'll ahh... Lessee here uh...

Apologize.

Hey Token. I just wanted to let you know that everything is cool now.

My dad apologized to Jesse Jackson.

Oh I see, so I'm supposed to feel all better now.

- Well, yeah. - You just don't get it, Stan!

Dude, Jesse Jackson said it's okay!

Jesse Jackson, is not the emperor, of black people!

He told my dad he was...

Today we are going to have a guest speaker talk to us

about sensitivity and the power of words.

In a moment you will meet Dr. David Nelson,

who has first-hand experience in overcoming slander,

David is himself a little person.

Who knows what a little person is?

Yes? Over here?

A midget?

Not exactly. That term is actually considered offensive,

and that's why Dr. Nelson goes from school to school

getting us all to think about what we say.

He has two Ph.D.'s and has published six books! Please welcome David Nelson!

Good morning, students! How are we all feeling today?

I would like to share with you all my-

No! Dude! No fucking way!

Dude!

That, that words are like bullets. And if you give-

Stop! Stop! Stop!

- Eric, be quiet! - No, no, it's okay.

He'll run out of steam here pretty soon.

Look! Look look, look. They put a little suit on him.

So I said to my wife, "You told me to kill the damned cockroach!

Don't yell at me for making a mess!"

We've got a great crowd here tonight.

Now, how many people are actually from Colorado?

Ya got nothin' better to do on a Friday night than to go to a comedy club, huh?

Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?

Yeah. I know you. You're the guy that said "nigger" on Wheel of Fortune.

Look! Everybody! It's the "nigger" guy.

Hey, it is him.

Oh, we got a star in the club. Everyone wave to the "nigger" guy.

- Say, "Hi, 'nigger' guy!" - Hi, "nigger" guy!

That's all right, "nigger" guy. You know we're just playin'.

Yeah... No problem...

Have you all seen these navigation systems in these cars these days?

Damn things look like they're straight out of "Far Out Space Nuts."

Maybe "nigger" guy has one. You got one, "nigger" guy?

Hey look, Betty. It's that "nigger" guy.

Nigger guy. Nigger guy.

Hey. What do you think you're doing?

I just... need some aspirin.

You aren't welcome in this store, "nigger" guy.

Fine!

Principal Victoria,

I'm very concerned about the behavior of one of your students.

Yes, we apologize for Eric Cartman's behavior, Mr. Nelson. We feel terrible.

Why? I don't feel terrible. It doesn't bother me at all.

Words are like bullets, and I let 'em pass right through me.

I just know that with some one-on-one time together with this Eric Cartman,

I have a chance to change the way he thinks.

Uh, it might be best if you just ...let it go, m'kay?

You don't understand. You see, words are like bullets.

- And if you take away the gunpowder- - Yeah yeah, we we get it, Mr. Nelson.

Very well, Mr. Nelson. Stacey, go ahead and send in Eric Cartman.

Eric, Mr. Nelson is concerned about how you respond to little people.

Oh. Did I hurt his little feelings?

You know, you think you have the power to make me insecure,

but your words are actually completely powerless.

If we could get, like, eight of these,

we could dress them all up like little beavers, right,

and then put 'em in a pond, and see if they build a dam!

You see? No matter what you say, I'm still standing.

Barely!

No matter how you act, I can rise above it!

"Rise above it!"

Get it? Like he can rise above anything!

Shut your fucking mouth!

Mr. Nelson!

He, he, he didn't get to me. I was I was just I wast just joking

Look, look how his face gets all red! He's like a little strawberry!

Words with venom, words that bind.

Words used like weapons to cloud my mind.

I'm a person. I'm a man. But no matter how hard I try,

People just say "Hey! There goes that 'nigger' guy."

Everywhere I go, it's always the same. I can't get away from that terrible name!

"Hey Nigger Guy! Nigger Guy! Nigger Guy!"

Stop!

Now go. Call me Nigger Guy! Fill me with your hate!

Try to bring me down- Oop up, you're too late.

Someone just beat you to it. But my dream will not die:

To be thought of as more...

than just "Nigger Guy."

Respect.

Token! Hey, wait up.

I just wanted to say, I get it now.

You know, after that "little person" talk at that assembly the other day,

I understand how you feel about somebody saying the N word.

Sooo black people are midgets.

God damnit!

Excuse me: over here, please?

I need all students to join me over here.

I have called you here because it is time

that we taught Eric Cartman a lesson once and for all!

In a few seconds, Eric will be sent in, and when we walks through that door,

I want you all at the same time to yell, "Hello, fatso!"

...I don't think that's a very good idea, sir.

He has to learn his lesson! You see, words are like bullets.

All right all right, here he comes.

"Good morning, fatso!"

Hey! What the hell is that?! You think that's fuckin' funny?!

Kyle, did you put everybody up to this?! I bet you did!

- What the hell is going on?! - Now you know how it feels.

Ya- you you didn't like it when the tables were turned, did ya?

Alright, who is the freaking genius who dressed him up in little suspenders?

Clyde, was that you?

You can't get to me! Words are like bullets!

And so it is my honor, to announce today

the Randy Marsh African-American Scholarship Foundation.

It is my hope that this foundation will prove

my commitment to the education of African-American students

and erase once and for all my identity as the "nigger" guy.

You really... you really don't know how hard it is

to be constantly reminded of something lame that happened in your past.

I mean I... just wanna move on

from what happened on "Wheel of Fortune," you know and...

and when people call me... "nigger guy"...

they're bringing up a painful chapter of my history

and all the negativity that went along with it.

You just... you can't imagine how that feels.

Is this "nigger" guy serious?

Anyway, here's to a new start for us all. Thank you!

Hey look Skeeter! That's that guy from the TV!

Well well well, looks like we got ourselves a nigger guy!

Where you goin' "nigger" guy?

Please I, I don't want any trouble.

Well you got trouble, when you first decided to slander

an entire race of people on "Wheel of Fortune"!

Yeah. You like making fun of minorities, "nigger" guy?

Huh we don't take kindly to social ignorants.

You tell 'im, Skeeter, you tell 'im!

What do you want??

What do we want?

We want to live in a world without people like you

who are intolerant of African-Americans!

Leave him alone.

- Hey... That's that other "nigger" guy. - Huh?

That's the guy from Seinfeld, used the N word a whole bunch o' times.

Michael Richards? Hwell, son of a bitch!

Looks like it's our lucky day! We done got us two "nigger" guys!

Make that three.

- Mark Fuhrman? - Who?

He done said the N word in the O.J. case.

What is this? A "nigger" guy convention?

We aren't being pushed around anymore. Leave.

Come on, Skeeter. These "nigger" guys ain't worth our trouble.

Damn "nigger" guys! We'll be back!

You'd better come with us.

Come on in, Mr. Marsh. We'll make you some coffee.

What's going on here?

We've been following your story since we first saw it on the news.

Don't worry - you're with friends now.

Dale here used the N word in a racial joke at work.

Scott used the plural N word

to refer to a group of gardeners who broke his fence.

They were Mexicans. I was being ironic.

We're all just like you.

No. Nono, I'm sorry, but I'm not... like you.

I just said the N word by mistake to win money.

I made a mistake too. I was trying to be funny!

I got frustrated and thought I would get some shock laughs.

I'm just... not that good of a comedian if you want to know the real truth.

You said the N word to a black man's face! That's way worse than what I did!

You really think that matters?!

You really think all those people out there see a difference?

Oh, they might say your racial slur was more accidental;

they might even laugh about it.

But at the end of the day,

all you are to them is just another damned "nigger" guy!

Oh, you don't like that, do ya?

No.

Randy, we want you to join us.

We have a plan to make this all go away once and for all.

Now look, Token, I've done everything I can to make this right!

You have no reason to still be mad!

I have every reason to be mad! You just don't get it!

I'm not responsible for what my dad did!

No, but you can't just pretend it never happened either!

- What the hell do you want from me?! - Nothing!

- Then stop being mad! - No!

Fellas! Fellas come quick! Cartman's gonna fight the midget!

All right, Eric, come on, Eric.

Dude, are you sure you wanna do this?

Apparently this guy has a black belt in karate.

It's a midget, dude.

Students, I am going to beat the crap out of this kid to prove a point.

No dude. It can't talk, that isn't fair, I'll laugh too much.

Senators, I know it is not normally considered "American" to ban words.

But there is one slur that has caused so much damage

that we believe it should finally be made illegal.

I'm talking, of course, about the term "nigger guy."

"Nigger guy"?

Two words which by themselves can be harmless but which together...

form a verbal missile of hate. - Yeah! That's right!

Oh sure. Some people just use the term in jest,

tell a nigger guy joke or two thinking it's no big deal

but they don't realize it can lead to people using the term

as an excuse for violence.

Goddamn nigger guy's tryin' to be all political-like now!

Senators, I've learned to admit that I'm capable of having

slightly racist thoughts once in a while.

Can anybody say they never do?

How long will it be before you are all called "nigger guys"?

Uhhh, hold on a second, are you suggesting that "nigger guy"

could become a slur that refers to all white people?

I'm certainly not a nigger guy. I've never thought a racist thought.

Aw, come on, you're the biggest nigger guy in Washington.

Mr. Marsh, we see now the importance of your bill.

All those in favor to ban the term "nigger guy"?

- Aye! - Opposed?

Nay?

The motion is passed!

We did it!

For the first time in American history,

a word has been officially banned from use.

From now on, if a person uses the word "nigger,"

it must be at least seven words away from the word "guy."

Tom, it appears that the nigger guy epidemic is ove-

Oh damnit I said it, didn't I?

Okay! Okay, you win!

- Say "Uncle!" - Ung-cle!

Now say "Carol Anne, don't go into the light!"

Carol Anne, don't go into the light!

Oh man, that is hysterical!

There!

Now you all see that I am not limited by my size.

I have proven my point! My work here is done!

- What was his point? - I have no idea.

- Dude, I don't get it. - I don't get it either.

Wait a minute. That's it! I don't get it.

- Huh? - Don't you see, Kyle? I don't get it!

Token, I get it now. I don't get it.

I've been trying to say that I understand how you feel, but,

I'll never understand.

I'll never really get how it feels for a black person

to have somebody use the N word. I don't get it.

Now you get it, Stan.

- Yeah. I totally don't get it. - Thanks, dude.

Subtitles: Spirit Transcript: South Park Scriptorium www.southparknews.net