Original subtitles

Morning

Lovely day Yes

Come to feed the pigeons Yes

Where have all the pigeons gone There aren't so many

We'll count then

One, two, three

They keep moving, they won't stay still

Well, count them again

All right

One, two, three, four, five, six

One, two, three, four, five, six

All they've gone

Bye-Bye Bye

Cousin

What are you doing? Put it down

Why are you acting sneakily?

I nearly chopped you by mistake

You always wanted to chop me

You always threaten to chop for nothing

Don't you know you've no l/D card?

Without me, you'd have been expelled back to HK

And your shop would've closed down

Kill this pigeon first

There are some left from yesterday's batch

Keep today's and kill yesterday's, idiot

I'll be off tomorrow Why?

Come early tomorrow I have an engagement

Where are you going tomorrow?

Wel's wife wants to introduce me to girl

What? Dating a Greek girl for marriage?

Only to be friends

It's okay, but you must think twice

I've already thought it over

Since you fail to get me PR status

Marrying a Greek girl is the only resort

It's better than imprisonment

Hey, are those 2 dishes ready?

Would he take them raw?

Hurry up. The customer's getting impatient

Is our food ready? I am coming

Very Sorry, just a minute, please

You've cooked the pigeon for almost an hour

Why didn't you cook the vegetables till now?

And the 5 sweet and sour soups?

I know you were lazy

So many shreds, what a waste!

I only have two hands

And a pair of feet too

It's most important to be alert

Stop nagging

Quit and see if you can find work

You can't speak or understand English

Don't be arrogant

Me, arrogant? I'm on your side

I've provided for you all those years

How are you going to square the deal?

Anything you say

You're threatening to chop

Without me you'd have slept in the streets

You bastard, I'll chop you to death

Don't try anything foolish

At worst I'll quit

You've no l/D card, you're an illegal

An illegal immigrant, to be exact

Inform against me then

Who is the illegal immigrant? He......

I'm an immigration Officer you'd better come with us

Aren't you happy now?

I didn't do it purposely

This is the final call for British Airway Flight 03 to Hongkong

Mako, Mako

I didn't know he's an immigration Officer

I'm sorry

Your pay so far amounted to $8,300

but after deductions, you only have this

Take it

The food on the plane is bad

I've specially brought this for you

I know you don't have a good appetite

Wear more on board for it's air-conditioned

Take care

Time's up, you have to go

You'll regret all your life

Please help yourself

Which of you eat my pig?

Who'd have eaten the pig?

This is cousin's girlfriend

Fat Maid, Pao, come here

Did you see that bride?

No

The old one? No

What are you doing? Go and see for yourself

Cheers, cheers

Doesn't she look like cousin's girlfriend She really is

Why throw a party over this?

Keep it from cousin He can't stand the shock

It would be horrible if he knew

his girl friend's marrying someone else

Damn, I'll beat you to a frazzle

I'll beat your bloody hands

and your bloody feet

Damn, I'll beat...

Mako, are you still angry with me?

We're cousins after all

I'll beat your bloody feet

What? Who has no shoes on?

I... I don't

I'll kill you, damn cockroaches

Cockroaches?

There have been cockroaches and rats

What superstitious things you're doing?

You and your cousins are hopeless

Luckily, your ancestor has left you a house

Had I not hired you

you might have become street sleepers

What's there to see? Back to work

Uncle Mako

Do you want to get paid?

Yes, but I don't know how to put it

Come to the point. What's it?

I'm afraid you can't stand that

Stop kidding. Speak up

Your girlfriend's marrying someone else

Uncle Mako, are you all right?

I'm okay

He really is open-minded

Look, he's crying sadly

Of course

You can find other girls

Few people know what happened

Resign yourself to fate

They enjoy life; you work like hell

Work hard if you envy them

Cousin

Well, are the vegetables done or not?

Who takes care of the host's table? I do

Serve them well

Okay

Yours, yours...

Cousin Yung, your vegetable's poisoned

Don't serve it to the guests

Is this the only dish poisoned?

Don't just stand by and wait for death

What now?

Please help yourselves, everybody

How can we eat like that?

It's wiped off now

Go and change at once

YES SlR

You may get killed eating it

Try

Are you the host's family? Take it

Yours, yours...

Hey, come here. Let's discuss it

I can't sneeze anymore. Let's take turns

What happened?

Cousin is using poison Poison?

Why stand there? Bring the dishes

Okay, right away

Bad, mixed up

Which dish?

Go now

Watch out. Which one's poisoned?

Be careful Be careful

Please help yourselves, everybody

Cheers, cheers

Watch out for flies

I won't trouble you. Yours...

Sorry, time to serve wine

What now?

Fixed?

Yes

What are we going to do next?

The Manager's over there

Manger...

What are you up to?

We didn't do it purposely

Mr Chiang wants you to see him, sir

Mr Chiang, sorry, just now...

No way. You've made me lose face

I'll tell them to say sorry

Jaws is ready to bite. Serve now

Cousin Yung, I have no way out

There are still stuffed crabs, chicken, fish

Chow fan, red bean paste, etc.

Outrageous

You can never find word elsewhere

I don't want to see people killed here

What?

The food is poisoned

Shut up

You've spoiled the atmosphere

Cousin, no more nonsense

Had you not poisoned it...

What?

Had we not stopped them from eating

they'd have all died

You think I wanted to poison them?

I saw you hiding the rat poison

Cousin, there's no point in...

Get away

What?

Cousin

Cousin, don't

I won't do anything bad because of her

Someone's getting me off the hook

People surely choose better things

Good, I'll toast you both

Cousin

Or you prefer humiliation?

What...what do you want?

Cheers

You...

Mako

Nonsense

Dial 999

Well, it's now another day. I'll turn over

a new leaf and forget her

While on the subject I must do something

Where are you going?

Fling away anything that tramp gave cousin

Tell him to go to bed early

Cousin, take it easy. Don't be sad

He won't, he's a he-man

Look, how happy he is

Why is the drinking so much?

Not everyone drinks because he's heart-broken

I drink because I'm excited

I'm really excited Go...go now

Go up to sleep. You must work after waking up

Morning Morning

Wait for me at the junction

Why? Let me help you pack

Hush Why?

I'll pack it myself

I'll wait for you here

Switch it off. Sit down

Don't wake them up

Only we two are going

If they know, they'll blame me

for putting women ahead of friendship

Though I may do it because of you

I won't do it openly

They'll be sad if they know

But between love and friendship

I'd rather give up love

I must maintain this friendship

That's all I want to tell you now

I can leave now

What? You dated me for barbecue?

What's this cue you're talking about?

I only heard about stage cue, billiard cue

But never barbecue!

Are you going or not?

This must be something dangerous

I'm not going

Well, don't see me anymore

Good, all girls are gone

I'll give her hell if she comes back

Don't ever come back

Oh, a man

Of course. Take it, maniac

What now?

It's for you

Tear it off if it comes from her

So soon? Impossible

Who is it from?

Cousin Big

What?

Nothing special

He's winding up the business there

and bringing his money back to HK

Never. When I was in England, I faced

the kitchen in the day, the pillow at night

I made something out of sweat

But I offended him unknowingly

He exposed my status as an illegal immigrant

and I was expelled by the British Govt

Cousin, forget it. Forget the past

I must take vengeance

We're cousins there's no enmity between us

And he brought money to go into business

As employees, we've to ingratiate ourselves

We mustn't spoil this golden opportunity

What does that mean?

Cousin Big's coming to live with us

Good, good

I'd never let him live with me

Come out, all of you

What are you doing? Playing smart

It's serious What is it

Where'd Cousin Big sleep

We've already leased his room to someone

Cousin will sleep with Cousin Big

You're headless. They're enemies

You can't let them sleep together

I have an idea Yes

That beautician has been away for one week

Cousin Big may take her room for the time being

What if she returns

There won't be such a coincidence

Since it's empty, let's make use of it

Why is it so dark

The light's not on

I know

Switch it on

No need to clean it, it's tidy

What a beautiful photo

Stop dreaming. You may get bad dreams

Sorry for the shabby condition

Cousin, do we have to clean it

How strange! She hasn't been here for long

Cousin, what a puff of chilly wind

Nonsense. Fat Maid, close it

Frankly, did you open the door

I did it myself, I think

Hey, the door...

Just close it

It has never been opened

Where did the wind come from

Q, where are you going

To sleep

Sleep? Did you...

What?

You always said I snored loudly

Did you come here to sleep?

Don't deny

Right

Don't deny

Yes, It's all right

Go to sleep

Who's coming back

What a pretty boy. Thank God

If I appear now, I may scare them

Bastards, don't scare yourselves

What happened?

That doorbell is ringing

When did you change it last

A long time ago. You told me to do it

Replace it, or I'll beat you up

Open up

This door is not mine Open up

Who are you looking for

Let me ask you first

Who is it

You all know her

Are you back

I'm getting old, I even forgot my key

It's been a long time. Do I look old?

Show some respect for an elder

Are you surprised by my return

Don't you welcome my return

No

What? Are you throwing me out

No, we thought you weren't coming back

So we've reserved it for cousin...

I've already paid you six months' advance rent

Go now

You've been away so long. We thought...

Don't curse me. I'll return even if I died

We'll pay you back the rents. Move out

If I'm not mistaken, you must be Yung

Yes

Since when have you learnt this

You never acted like this before

What have I done wrong

Nothing

Yes, you often drank our wine

Try this. Is this the Water Authority's water

or your brothers' wine?

Try. Don't scare her

Tell her this is wine

No, it's water

Are you framing her

Framing me

Miss Wang, only a misunderstanding

We only hope you'll stay away for a while

and he wants to stay here

So we hope you'll do us a favor

by moving out

You must be out of your mind

Miss Wang, you've been out for so long

Just stay for two more months

No, I've just returned from down below

Where can I sleep, if not here

Put up with a friend for the time being

Things are different now, I've changed work

I'm now a beautician at a Funeral Parlor

Why have you chosen such work?

What's wrong with the job

Don't touch my face

Afraid Stop that

If I get married. I'll move out

See who's going to help us

Me again

What can we do

I have an idea

What is it

Wait till Cousin Big is back

Don't try to scare me

Don't play a man to scare a ghost

A ghost scares men, not ghosts

Haven't you found a master to get enshrined

A bridesmaid can't take the bride's place

You can own the house, but not the man

You can own the house, but not the man

What do you want then

What do you want

Don't try anything foolish

I won't. I'll find a good one

Don't hurt me

What about you

I'll find someone who's dying

I've already waited a long time

Don't worry. You go your way, I go mine

Any of us without a master shall return to the Temple

Where are you going

Go in

You'd better get out of here

Calm down. Why fight between us

Impossible, he said he'd return today

Would he back out at the last minute?

I've put all my hopes to him

Go now. Come again tomorrow

Go home empty-handed

HELLO

He's coming back at last

Is he still angry with me

Are you going to open or not

Are you going to push the button

A gentleman must right the wrongs

A gentleman should forget an old score

I'll open it

I'll push the button

Cousin Cousin

Coming back

Yes

Come in, I'll help you

Could he be up to something?

You must be tired after over 10 hours flight

My fatigue's gone on reaching home

I'll bring you a towel

No need, cousin

I always take orders from you

The kitchen's just like my former restaurant

I got a drug to eliminate them all

Get rid of them now while hot

Cousin...

Idiot, forget the past

I've boiled sesame paste

Come on, eat

Don't worry, my hands are clean

You'd be finished if I put some poison in it

I know

Cousin, are you going to eat

Let me go in to see those glutinous rice dumplings

I'm excited today

Towel

It's hot. I'll eat when it cools down

I can eat faster then

But not too cold

Remember when I worked up to midnight

I ate those cold remnants and got sick

Forget that. I'll bring you dumplings

I saw a doctor the next day

and you deducted my wages

3.6, but I'll forget it now

In fact, I had no wages

You've finished so soon

Yes, it's delicious

I know I did you an injustice No, it was only my fault

Eat

I'm used to eating remnants

Cousin, they look delicious

Bring more

Okay

One must play safe

What?

I chipped the chopping board

You've a jolly good appetite

They're delicious

Want any more

No, no

Sit over there. There's a long sofa

Okay Come on, come here

What are you doing

It's sweltering. Let in the air

Cousin, sit over there

What is it

They're still not coming back

They won't return so early

There may be power failure. Take care

Help, help!

Keep away

What are you doing?

I know I did you an injustice. Chop me

What? I'd have done it in England had I wanted to

I'm now chopping myself

I'm chopping it open to show my intestines

Don't! Don't!

I'll let you chop me. You hate my guts

Come on

Chop my neck, chop my neck

Chop my head. Come on

Open up

Why such a noise?

Try to get in

Go in through the window

Open up

Break the window

Keep away

Help, help!

What is it?

What happened, Cousin Big?

Cousin was getting out of his mind

He's been trying to chop me

You won't believe it

You brought such a mess on return

Go up

Let's talk it over. Put it down

What a mess after my return

I won't be happy if I stay

Right, we're friends, we should live together

Let's join forces to build a brilliant future

No problem

Let's share prosperity and adversity

He told me to chop him

He's often out of his mind

You were at variance before

but the enmity can easily be erased

I guarantee this won't happen again

But... Cousin said you're a good wine blender

Blend a few glasses

Did he really say that? Yes

Sit here What is it

Cousin, he also has a share in this house

Aren't you taking him for a relative

Had he ever taken me for his relative

Cousin, just to me a favor, will you

No

Cousin... Speak no more

Okay

We lost our jobs because of you

Now he's given us a chance

I'd rather beg than ask him a favor

I don't want to embarrass Cousin Big. Am I right

Yes, let the room to Cousin Big

This is better. My pulse is boiling

This is another man's wife

Another man's wife

One casual drink is okay

Drinking it always can bring you bust

And this

No more

You tried too hard! Now you're all wet

You don't get tough with girls

or you'll get wet

He's teaching me how to drink

Where's cousin Lie down

Lie down, feigning sleep

He's fallen asleep It's okay then

He even wanted to say sorry to you

As I said, there's nothing between you

He only wanted to kill you

You're drunk; I forgive you

It's nice you're all here

I've just wound up the business in U.K.

and got 476,830 out of it

I'll remit it to HK next week

We're rich

Quiet, we're still planning

As to the disposal of the capital...

You make the decision, Cousin Big

Let's not divide it then

We must consult everybody

I won't forget your share

But if I know any of you

is frivolous, spendthrift

and cares not about his future

or resorts to illegal activities, I'll...

cut off his source of income to show him

that a family business is hard to build up

Right, we must observe family traditions

Who are you? Why are you here naked?

Who are you? What is it?

Cousin Big, why are you in the wrong room?

In underpants

Right Do you wear much?

What are you doing here, lousy men?

To sleep

Cousin Big, you don't sleep here

Did I enter the wrong room?

Yes, luckily I wasn't asleep

Impossible, I saw a picture stuck here

You must've stuck it yourself

Sorry for the interruption

Sorry Don't mention it

Go back to sleep

What's up?

What happened

It's okay, Go in

Cousin Big, let me make the introduction

No need I must...

Sit down

What are you doing

Well, cousin...

Tell him, Q

Fat maid, tell him

Me?

He's my cousin

My last name is Wu

Let's sleep

Please enlighten me

Do you mean it

Wear more to avoid catching cold

Remember to lock the door

Cousin

Good night

She said good night to me

Go back to your room and sleep

What? Let him take my room?

Forget it, cousin

Cousin, you'd better think it over

I'll never live with such a man

Each of you...

Cousin, not in bed? Sleep on my bed

No, I'll return to the room

Cousin, we can talk it over

Nothing to talk about

I'll mimic McEnroe

Good

Are you forcing me to move out?

Let's frame him up as the only way out

It's beneath me. No

Who's hiding it? Produce it

What have you lost?

Why the noise? Lost money

What have you lost? Money?

Who could've taken away this?

Maybe someone has borrowed it

Borrowed? I won't take it back now

I only want to find out who did it

Think it over

Ask cousin if he has seen it

What happened? What's going on?

Pao claimed to have lost something

Cousin, have you taken it?

How would he take it?

So you've taken it

You mean that doll? I really don't know why

You don't? You stole it from me

I really don't know why

I don't know why I 'm sleeping here either

You're a thief

Don't say that, he's our relative

What's yours is his

What? Can we share this?

I won't take it back now

You tramp

You've cuckolded me

Forget it. You'll only embarrass cousin

Don't get it wrong. I didn't touch it

Cousin, buy one for yourself

He's very serious

She has followed me all these years

Tramp, I won't want you any more

We'll contribute money to buy one for you

It takes time to nurture feelings

Give this to cousin

Don't use this to get rid of me

What a frame-up! You're taking me for a nut

This gimmick is not bad

Would he blame us?

No, it's for the good of us all

And we don't have to quarrel with Cousin Big

What happened?

Pao, are you vying with cousin?

Over what?

This doll

Who's vying for it? I got one myself

And it has a Birth Certificate

Why get excited over a doll

It's okay, Cousin Big

Cousin often leaves home for trifles

Right

Right, he returned from England for this

Didn't you expel him

What? It's a gift

Right, a gift

Don't you have to go to work

No

Good. Let's go up and change

Pick up your girlfriend

How's Rose now?

Keep away

I just want to have a look

Do you want to see...

Yes, to see if your glass is clean

Serious

Yes, I'll clean it for you if it's dirty

You're okay, you can read my mind

I was going to clean it

Good, let's wipe it together

I'll go and get the things

With cousin Big back, luck's now with us

We're off to win his confidence

On your own now. Meet here at 7 p.m.

Hi, where are you going

Something important to do

I know where you're going

Where

You must be...

Nonsense

Be here at 7 p.m. sharp

Something fishy. Follow him

You're evil

May

What's your name, sir

I'm Chou Hsiao Yung, she's my girlfriend May

You're mistaken, sir

No, it's she who gets me wrong

I mean...

I want her to forgive me

Sorry, I'm not interested in your affairs

Why stand there then

What will you drink

Bring me Champagne if she forgives me

An insecticide if she won't

Order the insecticide then

Calm down and listen

Well, let me listen to it

I... Continue

I know you can't explain

Well...

Forget it. I know you are not sincere

Hi, May

my sincere apology to May

I'll bow once more...

Waitress, champagne

Her piercing look, her piercing look

Shinning bright like the stars

Sure enough to make one chokes

Her piercing look, her piercing look

Shinning bright like the stars

Sure enough to make one chokes

The moon will hide beyond the sky

Could wind drifts along the moonlit alley

The moon will hide beyond the sky

Wandering souls riding low and high

To pledge under the moon while the heart flutter

Her piercing look, her piercing look

Shinning bright like the stars

Sure enough to make one chokes

Her piercing look, her piercing look

Shinning bright like the stars

Sure enough to make one chokes

The moon will hide beyond the sky

The moon will hide beyond the sky

The moon will hide beyond the sky

We're back

Damn it

Why are you back so easily

Early

A bit early

I'll go up

Cousin Big, come and have a drink

Hi, throw the dart

Okay. Cousin, you throw first

Find some work to do

Throw, but be careful

I am. Let's have a game

Throwing darts?

Come on, let me try

Okay

We do it for gambling Right

No problem. What's the stake?

We were only joking

Who's going to gamble I am

Take when you win, but don't pay when you lose

What's the stake Name it

Hi, are you Yung? This is Auntie

Auntie's coming

No, it's long distance call from London

What is it

Have you got that cable

Yes, Cousin Big's already here

Returned? He's departed for nearly a week

and you don't even care to call. You're heartless

What do you mean, Auntie?

You Cousin Big fell into the Thames

What

He's dead but his body's missing at the morgue

Yung, are you listening

I'll win for sure

What happened

What are you doing

Never mind

What a maniac!

Why are you screaming

Cousin Big, your turn

There should be one more

Where's is it? Why one short?

You flung just now

There were 3. Why is one missing?

Look over there

Let me see

Why are you holding a dart

I'll look around. Don't tease me

I'll twist your head. Show me

It's with you. Let's continue

Outside the window, the sea reaches to the sky

Inside the room, love conquers like the sea

The one I love has the drinker's looks

Cousin Big, can I join you? Would you listen

Yes

Q, go home

You're drunk with sweet wine

Your fascinating looks make me drunk too

Love is deeper than wine

My devotion is sweeter than wine

Cousin Big, I give up

Why don't you care for me

I love you, and I do

whether you love me or not

Are you drunk

No, I'm sleeping

I give up

Because you've lost

I'm going to the toilet

How come?

What are you

Well, come in

Why are you closing the door

Come in. I got a call from Auntie

saying cousin died in England

I didn't believe it

but when I helped remove that dart

which sank into his head

I saw his blood was green

So you think he's a ghost

Cousin, you must relax with your girlfriend

You're making a bad joke

You don't believe me

Do you believe me And you

Of course, we don't

How can I make you believe me

Cousin Big, what are you doing

So it's you! What are you doing

I'm here to see you

No, to see if you're in bed

I am not. I'm ironing

Cousin Big, iron it outside. Let me help you

No need

Let me

Cousin Big, the weather in HK is humid

Let me iron the clothes in your wardrobe

No need, I'll do it

What's it

He...You...

What's wrong? It's burnt

It's an expensive dress

What? Backbiting me

What's this

Dried beef

Yes

Eat

Cousin Big, I'll pay you back for it

No need

Do you believe it Yes

Cousin Big, it's shining

You're okay

Go...

Don't go

I don't feel at ease tonight

No much illusion, I can't hold on

You'd better find someone to accompany me

No

Won't you do me this favor

If I did something bad to my ancestors

you'd look down on me even if she forgives me

No, sex is nature

Right, right

Idiot, you draw lots

Cousin Big, calm down

It's my pleasure to sleep with you

You used to induce me to sleep

I'll accompany Cousin Big

Q, don't do that

Is that any of your business

So I have someone who cares

Go out...

Let's go together

Cousin Big, I'll unfold the bed for you

Boss, the customers are urging. Hurry up

What

Buddy, speak of it no more

Okay, okay

We didn't know it until

we got a call from Auntie saying

Cousin Big had died for nearly a week

He felt no pain even though' we ironed him

He felt nothing with a dart stabbed on his head

They call this an aggrieved ghost

Aggrieved ghost

Brother, do us a favor

Some customers are getting impatient

Tell him to go somewhere else

Hurry up! Stop talking

When a man dies, his soul leaves his body

and it decays, leaving only a skeleton

Put sugar or vinegar first

Put them at the same time

That's just like Cousin Big

He doesn't decay after death

His soul was incomplete due to over scare

When it calmed down it didn't know what happened

He didn't know he was dead then

Right

He didn't seem to know he's dead

Should we or shouldn't we tell him

We should've done that on the night of the 2nd 7-day period

or he may never reincarnate

We must keep it a secret from him

to give him a chance to reincarnate

What about the $7 million remittance

Which is more important The money or Cousin Big

Cousin Big of course

So you still have a heart

Come to me if anything goes wrong

Here's one month's wage. Take it

Are you firing me

No, this is your one month's bonus

Please do your best to preserve my stall

That sounds human. I'll start

Cousin, we'll follow you for a living

I, I want... I want your...

I want your... I want your love

Cousin, I'm at the entrance

Don't

I told you to watch me

I fell from bed onto the floor

I nearly fell into another room

But you didn't wake up

Fire!

Where's the fire? Here

What now

Put it out

Put it out

It's put out, it's all right

Cousin

Fire again

Cousin Big, what now

What now

Cousin, come out. I'm waiting

Cousin Big, don't be impulsive

Go away

Your hand's stuck

Cousin Big I must go

Cousin Big, I must sacrifice myself

You're great, you've cooled my desire

It's okay. Go to bed

It's okay now

Remove all earth gods first

Remove the 8-diagram mirror

Hide the face of the goddess

Put aside all garlic and onion

Wait

Let me search

You're wearing a cross

Don't scare the spirit out of him

I'd better put it into my pocket

What

A cross chain

Remember not to mention the cross

Bad What

Some more crosses? Put into my pocket

No, Mary's in my room

Your girlfriend

No, Marry the Holy Mother's picture

Bad

It's serious

What's it, Cousin Big

I can't see myself

Right

Let me see

What's it

Bad, even I can't see myself

Right

Why

Could we all be ghosts?

Nonsense

It's not so simple. Let's find out

We must find out the truth

Let's go back and see

Why is the mirror missing

There's no mirror here

I removed it yesterday

Bastard, that's no fun at all

Watch out

I feel something fishy

Recently I've been feeling dizzy

chilly and light like a feather

I've been back for a few days

but I never feel hungry or thirsty

It seems something's wrong indeed

I think so too

Could you be unwell

I think so too

You must see a doctor, Cousin Big

See a doctor now before it's too late

Right, let me take you there

The lift was out of order. I'm breathless

Miss

Who's seeing the doctor? Line up

It's me, miss

Register then

Keep him company. I'll go & register

Miss

I can't stand the smell of medicine

You didn't say that last time

It was different, I was ill

Fixed

Yes, those nurses are obliging

Great. Cousin Yung's okay

Beautiful So-so

Mr Chou, take your cousin's temperature

Take it yourself

Mr Wu, open your mouth, please

He has no body temperature

Am I to do it for him

I have an idea

Is it finished

Not so soon

Chang Ll-ling, please come in

Damn, I took the wrong thermometer

How's it, miss

A little fever. Go and see the doctor

What now

Go in with him

What's your trouble

What's your trouble

Aren't you the doctor

If he knew, he wouldn't have come

You doctors are all like that

If you can't find out you say something to scare

Either he has no pulse

or he has no body temperature

Sometimes you might say he has no breath

Are you consulting me or he is

He is

Let me check

Pull up the sleeve

He has no heartbeat

Is that right

He has no body temperature

Is that right

And he has no breath

How's it, doctor? Is he all right?

Yes, perfectly all right

Thank you. Let's go

I knew you're all right

There's no point in seeing doctor

Thank you, doctor

How strange

Come back

What's the matter

My head got twisted after I woke up

It can hardly move

It's common with sleepers

Let me twist it back for you

Sit here

Sit still

I haven't done it yet

I'm trying to reduce his pain

It really doesn't hurt

Good, have a good night's sleep

and you'll be all right tomorrow

Cousin Big, you don't need my company tonight

Do you resent doing it

No, if you go on, you may not stand it

This is not the right remedy

I know, I've thought it over

What

I've fallen in love with Rose

Rose? Who's Rose

Since he returned he's seen only the nurses

and Miss Wang upstairs

A kind-natured man like him

won't love a cold-blooded nurse

I've decided to marry her

and start a new life together

I knew he'd be mine

Now I can use it after so long

Aren't you happy for me

Yes

Cousin Big, when will be the wedding

The sooner the better

or I may not control myself

He sounds serious

But he's a ghost

What are you doing? You're sneaky

I'll take a bath and go to bed

Q, he...

From the humanistic standpoint

we must stop that

It's cruel to tell her that

Cousin Yung, you're best for the job

Me

What are you doing here

You've fixed it. What about me

How do I know

Am I to accompany you all my life

and you back out

Miss, when have I done that

I planned it all by myself

I can plan something too

But don't be in my way

Miss WangOpen up. I've something important to talk to you

Go away

Miss Wang

Give me your word Okay

Go now

Miss Wang, please open up

I've something important to talk to you

I know

You do

You mean Cousin Big...

Right, it's about him

Be mentally prepared before I tell you

I already have everything ready

Cousin Big is not an ordinary man

He's an extraordinary man

I don't think it's true

but I must believe he's a ghost

Must be a ghost, if not a man

Listen, he's a male ghost

Of course

Listen, he was drowned in the Hames last week

Are you serious

Of course. If you marry him

he'll scare you to death

Never

He walks like a feather

Just like you

I hear that those ghosts can

This way

Right, be serious, Put it on

Like me

Right

Help! Help

Miss, don't go in. Ghost

Come in at once

Bad, bad

Help

What's it

Help

What happened

A... What

Go now Why

A ghost Ghost? Where? Where

Come in quick

Cousin Big, what happened

I don't know

Why is it so noisy

They've all gone down

Have they? Let me go and see

You have no pants on

What are you up to

You may scare them to death

I wanted to

So I can get someone for company like you did

I'm different

Mine is already at death's door

That's easy

Don't be tough

I can't wait any longer. After the 14th

I'll be a lonely ghost forever

You won't want me to go unremembered

You think he'll love you

I'll make him fall in love at 1st sight

Miss Wang, let me do it

Come on

Miss, miss I'm passing out

Cousin Big, lend a hand

Lend a hand

What is it

Q, what are you doing

I've done nothing

I opened the door and she fell inside

How come

Help her to the sofa

Bring balm at once

I'll call an ambulance She seems to have been raped

She's used to it

What did you say

She's my cousin

For the head

Gi, told you not to come too late

Now you're in such a mess

Where am l

Don't be afraid. You're safe now

Excuse me

Cousin. I met a thug

Thug

A villain. I'm afraid

They're all good men

Lie down and take a rest

Right, they're all good men

Cousin, do you care for her

Take care of her

It hurts

Where

Here

Rub it for me

Rose, jealous? She's your cousin

I must help her

I was putting a towel over her

Why use your eyes

Who'll help me if I drop my quilt

As of tonight, I'll do it for you

It means three ghosts I our house

Right

Q's in a dangerous situation

Wish he had a lucky charm

The ordinary are always lucky

Cousin Big would help him He adores him

Are you going to stand by

We may take Cousin Big for a dead man

but we must help Q. Come back with me

Come back

Yes

Cousin, man can't win over ghost

Right, good won't compete with evil

We must wait till they're asleep

Asleep? Would ghosts sleep

Don't be sorry. I'll be responsible

I'm damned, I've failed my ancestors

I've failed myself and you

Idiot, it's love

Don't be mushy

How am I to face the people

I'm not afraid. Why are you

No one would know if we keep it to ourselves

Where are you going

Get a tablet and have the married name added

A tablet

Although I wasn't born a Wu

But now I'm a ghost member of the Wu clan

What did you say

Soon you'll understand

So it's here

At last there's a shrine

Enshrined

I'll tell you later. Excuse me

Where are you going at this hour

To tell my parents about us

Why are you walking this side

To save walking through the stairs

Bye-bye. Wait for my good news

Watch out

So she's flying down the street

May I dance with you

It's fun

You're sweating. Let me wipe it for you

Gi, how long have we known each other

Already two hours

But it looks like ages

Frankly, we can't get along

because we have nothing in common

Never. We met by chance, but

we love each other

Cousin, what now

I'll lure Q out and you take him away

Would you regret it

No. I'm ready to do anything for you

Go up. You can see our future

You'll go to paradise soon

Put your head in. We'll meet inside

Q, don't stand on the table. Come down

I'll get someone to fix the fan

Q, is she your girlfriend

Don't be in the way. I'm going to paradise

No hurry. Miss, he's a bit cranky

Don't scare your girlfriend

I'm going to paradise

Take a taxi. I'll pay for it

Go now

Yes, go now

He's coming out. Take care of him

Many people outside daren't come in

Don't be afraid

Q, run quick

Q, what are you doing

Miss, let's talk it over

The day's breaking soon

Q, come here

Q, tell them you're ready to die for me

Yes, I must be with her

You'll die if he doesn't

Cousin, everyone has his own wish

Don't stop him if he wants it

Yes, but I don't want Q to die

Keep an eye on Q

Cousin Big, this house is haunted

Yes, let's go together

I told you not to come back

I can't help it

Bad, Q

How are we to go down

We'll get killed if we jump Right

We must, for the sake of Q

Wait for me

I can't find my underpants

Underpants

Where's the underpants

Q

Is it all right

I don't know Q

You are already too late

This makes sure of no reincarnation for you

Choose the undies you like

KlSS ME

Come here and help me rescue Q

Quick. Stop his backside

We'll be finished if it leaks

Master, help

It's terrible

The ghosts are coming down. Run

Run quickly Go upstairs quick

You're still holding the underpants

She may smell it

Where's Q

Q? Missing

I mustn't kill my lover with my own hands

I'm not afraid of paints

Run yourself to death them

He tries to kill himself

Q

Take him to kitchen

Q, don't do anything foolish

You won't let me die

Do you know what you're doing

Help

Block the entrance

Q, come out

I want to die

Keep it up

What are you doing

Keep away! Don't touch him

Take away the plug

Block the entrance

What now

Wait till the dawn

Right, ghosts are afraid of the dawn

Cousin, you play well

Don't expose it

Coming again

Why should we be afraid of her

Well, why should we be afraid of ghosts

Man's afraid of ghosts

Not always

Would ghost be afraid of men

I think ghosts try to scare because they're afraid

Right, nothing has happened to us

No

To save our home, let's fight

Don't be afraid of her. Come on...

Scare her

I'll kill you

Q, you want to die

You're bewitched by a ghost

You think so

I know she's a ghost

Keep away

It's dawn

It's not me

Q, I must leave

Gi

Q Don't tug at me

Follow him

Gi

Q, open the door

Q, I must leave

I'll go with you

I won't hurt you. Let me go

I won't let you go

See you again next life Q, open up

Gi, Gi

She's gone

Gone

Q, so much the better Man and ghost can't love each other

Forget her

Someone's pressing the bell

Who are you looking for

We...we're...the Wangs

Old gentleman, you'd better talk

We're the Wangs My daughter told me in dreams

She's married a Wu Te-ta

Does he live here, please

I'm Wu Te-ta. What do you want

Mr Wu Te-ta

Yes

Splendid

What's this

My...my daughter

Your daughter

Excuse us. Our wish's fulfilled

She can be enshrined now. Wait

I...I'm so happy

She wants you to enshrine her

Darling

Cousin Big, Miss Wang's dead

This people I love have left me

And those I hate live forever

I don't mean you. I won't stay on earth

Cousin Big, in fact you're already dead

What'd happen if you die twice

Am I really dead? I can be with her then

Darling, I'm coming, I'm coming...

So they've all left

Bad, where's Q

I'm going too. Bye-bye

Q Q

Bastard, it was only for fun