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1
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,880
They do say your wedding day's
the happiest day of your life.
2
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,480
Well, yours is going to be
quite the opposite.
3
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,720
By which, I mean
the worst day of your life.
4
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,880
Why am I talking to a newspaper?
5
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,520
This is it, Gemma!
6
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This is it!
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Ooh! Ooh, look at it!
8
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,560
I know I might not have seemed
9
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,440
as excited as you
about this wedding, Terry,
10
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,080
but I think some wee's
just come out!
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00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,960
You hold on to that feeling, Gemma.
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As soon as you say "I do",
13
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I'm going to spend my
whole life making sure
14
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:22,280
a little bit of wee comes out
of you every day. Oh, Terry!
15
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That's so lovely.
16
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,280
Mum? Monica?
17
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It's my special weekend.
Mother of the bride.
18
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,200
No, it's MY special weekend.
19
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:45,440
Don't be so ungrateful, Gemma! She
gave up her pelvic floor for you.
20
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,040
Show some gratitude.
21
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,760
Hey, sis.
22
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,160
Oh!
23
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,240
I just feel like
on this wonderful day of days,
24
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,040
I have to tell you that
25
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,040
I've got a bit of an ingrown
toenail, so I'll probably be
26
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,880
limping you down the aisle a bit.
27
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,920
It's all right. Oh, mwah.
28
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:18,720
Mwah. Seeing you two get married
fills me with joy,
29
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,920
because it means there really is
someone out there for everyone,
30
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,360
no matter what your
personality defect.
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00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,040
She's right, you know, even you.
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00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,320
On the website, they said
they've got an all-day buffet.
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That's where I'll be, all day.
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You do that, because this weekend,
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everything is going to be perfect.
36
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,360
It is. It is going to be perfect.
37
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,360
And I'm going to make it
even more perfect.
38
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,760
I've got a special surprise
for you inside. Ah, ha!
39
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,360
Ah!
40
00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,200
It's like a vision.
41
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,280
Oh, this is so classy.
When you see the wild animal theme
42
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,160
I've got planned for the wedding,
it'll just...
43
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,400
..class up the classiness.
I love it.
44
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,160
See?
45
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,200
Camel. Classy.
46
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,320
Oh!
47
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,800
Now we've got two days of
wedding preparations,
48
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,840
endless pampering,
the big day itself,
49
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:24,120
and then on the wedding night,
you know, we get to...
50
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,360
Drink until we pass out?
51
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,040
You are so made for me! I know. Ooh!
52
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,520
Time for the surprise! Oh!
53
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,840
Here they are!
54
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,000
Look, I've brought my new boyfriend.
55
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,320
Oh, it's Phil,
56
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,840
the loud hot tub salesman.
Hot tub baron, Gemma.
57
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,640
I'm the Alan Sugar of
outdoor bathing.
58
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I make all your dreams wet.
59
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,360
And he's brought his children.
60
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,680
Oh, what am I like?
61
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,360
Is the word you're looking for
"common"?
62
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,760
It's funny, this, Mum,
cos I did say not to invite them,
63
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,320
in about four separate emails.
64
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,080
Doesn't matter because this weekend
is going to be perfect.
65
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,920
I've been thinking of how to add
an extra layer of perfection
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00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,560
to what could be another
drab, ordinary wedding,
67
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,720
and I think I know what
that extra layer is.
68
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:25,160
Phil and I are engaged
to be married! Ha-ha!
69
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,640
Oh!
70
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,640
What?! You've only been going out,
like, three months.
71
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,840
All happened so fast.
We took a cruise together...
72
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,760
..and then he asked me
to do something in the bedroom
73
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,520
which I wasn't comfortable with,
74
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,800
so I refused. And out of the blue,
75
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,640
he proposed.
76
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,920
And then she did it. Oh, good God.
77
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,760
I'm picturing it.
78
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,960
Why am I picturing it? It's fine.
79
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,840
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
80
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,120
Welcome, everyone.
81
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,400
We're so glad that you're joining us
for our special weekend.
82
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,080
Not special, Gemma, classy weekend.
83
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,720
I've got a real live owl.
84
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,840
It's massive. Twoo-twoo. He has.
85
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,680
Is this the happy couple?
86
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:20,720
Oh, look at them! Nanny? Daddy
and Patricia are getting married.
87
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,760
Yet another wife
to add to his collection,
88
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,240
and this one smells of chips. Oh.
89
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,120
Lovely!
90
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,320
Feel free to use her
if you need her.
91
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,880
Nanny practically raised the kids
brilliantly for me.
92
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,880
So if you have any,
I'll have her raise yours too.
93
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,480
"Brilliantly", he says.
94
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,440
Bloody charmer, he is!
95
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,920
But he's right. There's more
important things you should be
96
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,760
spending your time on than
raising your own children.
97
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,680
I've had a word with reception
98
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,200
and I'm treating the girls to
a fun dance class
99
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,920
with a West End choreographer.
Get the clucking hens
100
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,200
out of the way, so me and the boys
101
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,760
can go paintballing-ga! Yeah, sorry,
I was looking forward to
102
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,160
a relaxing hot stone massage-ga!
103
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,840
No, no, no, you're coming
paintballing with us.
104
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,960
This guy, hey? This is what he does.
105
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,960
Improving the lives of the
little people, yes! That's it, Bob.
106
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,680
See if you can get your tongue
further up Dad's backside. Oh!
107
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,080
Shut up, Glen!
I'm director of nozzles,
108
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,280
you're just manager of filters,
drains and hair strainers.
109
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,800
He's right, Glen, you're
a third-wife child. Know your place.
110
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,120
At least my mum loved me, Alex.
If Daddy's taught me anything,
111
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,520
it's that loving people
is a waste of my time.
112
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,520
Congratulations, though, everybody.
113
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,560
More champagne, on me!
114
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,040
Woo!
115
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,160
Aren't you almost glad
your dad died,
116
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,640
so we could have Phil in our lives?
117
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:45,800
Do you think?
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00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,480
I never think.
119
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,080
That's why I'm happy.
120
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,960
So this is where it
all comes to a head.
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00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,600
Beautiful!
122
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,600
Mum, you're doing it wrong.
123
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,560
No, I'm improving it.
124
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,920
There's a song inside me, Gemma.
125
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,120
It just doesn't happen to be
this song.
126
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,680
As long as you're annoying Gemma,
127
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,720
I'm fully behind you, Patricia.
128
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,440
This is so much fun.
It's so tacky and low-rent.
129
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,120
Good, cool down for five.
130
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,400
Wow, so tired.
131
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,720
Can I just say? I'm having such a
fun time at my engagement party.
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00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,400
Oh, and of course, your, um,
133
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,440
hen thingy, which is what
we're here for. Yes, it is.
134
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,680
And I'm going to make lists of
all the dos and, more importantly,
135
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,240
the don'ts for MY big day.
136
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,120
Let's dance!
OK, and again, let's go.
137
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,680
Quick question, why doesn't Bob
have a gun? He's a moron.
138
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,360
No! Cos Dad says
I haven't earned one yet.
139
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,440
OK? So I distract the other team,
while you lot move up.
140
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,200
In a real war, I'd be known as
cannon fodder, right? Which you
141
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,280
can't win a war without, so I'm
quite essential, actually, Glen!
142
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,560
Yeah. He doesn't have the
killer instinct, this one.
143
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,240
Actually, it's something that
you'll need to learn, Terry,
144
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,440
if you're going to join the firm.
145
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,600
Join the firm? I don't want to be
a hot tub salesman.
146
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:44,120
I'm a coach driver, who doesn't
want to be a private investigator.
147
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,880
I couldn't handle another
unwanted career.
148
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,760
One quick thing, Dad.
149
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,160
You said Terry's going to be joining
the firm, which is great,
150
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,600
but, uh, shouldn't the new CEO,
whoever he may be,
151
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,520
um, make decisions on new staff
after you've retired?
152
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,920
I've had a rethink about the
retirement. I'm going to stay on.
153
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,800
Right, lads, let's paintball.
154
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,720
Bob, sacrifice yourself
to distract them.
155
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,320
Yeah, yeah!
156
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,120
Let's go... Daddy!
157
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,440
Here I am! Take my blood!
158
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,120
I volunteer as tribute.
159
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,120
What do you mean, not retiring?
160
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,040
Daddy said he was going to sell up.
161
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,720
No, he's staying on.
162
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,640
We're going to be a power couple.
163
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,440
Gemma, this is our new life.
164
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,520
Dancing like divas,
drinking like legends
165
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,560
and sneering at the staff.
Enjoy it while you can, Monica.
166
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:44,520
Daddy's wives don't tend to
have an extended shelf life.
167
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,080
I've known avocados last longer.
168
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,040
Oh, don't you worry.
169
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:53,360
Phil and I will be together
until death us do part.
170
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,640
Five, six, seven, eight! Woo! Uh...
171
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,440
Penguin.
172
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,720
Classy.
173
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:18,080
Also a species that's endangered,
so this is a learning moment.
174
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,040
If you'll excuse me,
175
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,880
I took one to the nipple
and it's starting to welt.
176
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,960
Dad? Just circling back to the whole
you not retiring thing.
177
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:34,600
I was thinking about all the things
I've done for this company.
178
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,240
The forging of the invoices,
179
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,760
that little enforced holibobs at
Her Maj's pleasure
180
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,080
for that pesky
tax avoidance headache.
181
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:47,520
So I was hoping, um, that maybe now
would be MY time
182
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,080
to sit in the big chair.
183
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,120
Bob, you're a good son,
184
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,920
but by your own admission,
you're a convicted criminal.
185
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,680
Can't have a criminal
running the firm, can we?
186
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,160
I hate you so much.
187
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,320
If you need me, I'll be in
the Presidential Suite,
188
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,640
on top of Patricia.
189
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,720
Oof...
190
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,120
Hey, Terry.
191
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,000
This place is amazing.
192
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,440
That buffet over there, I asked for
an egg, they gave me an egg.
193
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,400
I ate it, I went back, said,
"Can I have another egg?",
194
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,880
they just gave me another egg.
195
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,840
And it's all for free.
196
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,720
That wedding photographer,
you want to bring him in here.
197
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,840
That is something
we want to remember forever.
198
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,240
Can I have another egg, please?
199
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,640
Hello.
200
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,280
You lost like me, girls?
201
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,520
Well, I'm looking forward to
having you at my wedding.
202
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,800
Maybe you can even be flower girls.
203
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:12,000
That'll lend the service a
certain haunting quality.
204
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,520
Yes, I got your final demand and I
will pay it when I get my allowance,
205
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,520
you loathsome little
call-centre scrote!
206
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,640
Oh. Hi.
207
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,680
I see you've met the twins.
208
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,800
Little darlings, aren't they?
209
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:28,920
They're twins, are they?
210
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,880
I was born first.
211
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,440
Yeah, I kind of guessed that.
212
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,600
They're quite a handful.
213
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,400
Fortunately, I don't use
my own hands!
214
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,320
I don't know how people do it, kids.
215
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,880
They're almost like little
human beings, aren't they?
216
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,760
Are they?
217
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,360
Nanny?
218
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,800
Oh, girls!
219
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,480
Where on earth have you been?!
220
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,840
Sorry, Nanny.
221
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,680
Nanny, can you give them some love?
222
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,000
I...don't.
223
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,880
Of course I will!
224
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,920
Nanny's nothing but love,
isn't she, girls?
225
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,640
Yes, Nanny. Love, Nanny.
226
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:17,960
Come on, girls.
227
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,600
Ooh, it's the owl guy!
228
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,840
Hiya...
229
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,440
What do you mean,
it's got a crick in its neck?
230
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,200
It's an owl.
231
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,720
It's basically all neck.
232
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,600
Yeah, well, strap it up.
233
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,000
# Picture me there
234
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,320
# Is your heart filled with pain?
235
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,280
# Shall I come back again?
236
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,720
# Tell me... #
237
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,120
He hasn't said much
since I found him.
238
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,560
Can we not just go one bloody day?!
239
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,800
I've got a detailed itinerary
for this weekend and dead bodies
240
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,600
aren't on it.
Right, calm down, everyone.
241
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,160
It's official,
this is now a crime scene.
242
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,280
Looks like murder to me. Murder?!
243
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280
Do you think?
244
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,280
Oh, my God!
245
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,360
His kids, they'll be heartbroken.
246
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,120
You know what?
Somehow, I don't think so.
247
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,280
What, Daddy?! No!
248
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,560
But...if it isn't immediately
clear, uh,
249
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,800
he did die under
suspicious circumstances,
250
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,840
which could either be murder
251
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,440
or attempted murder,
252
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,320
which went very badly wrong.
253
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,360
Which is also murder.
254
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,280
As a trained police officer,
255
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,440
the little things jump out at you.
The guys in filters,
256
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,520
drains and hair strainers are going
to take this really hard.
257
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,160
The big guy, gone.
258
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,600
I can't believe it.
259
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,880
Uh, am I free?
260
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,200
I am, aren't I? Yeah?
261
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,600
Free of him. Ha-ha! Woo!
262
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,680
It was only a matter of time,
wasn't it?
263
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,520
I mean, his list of enemies
is pretty long.
264
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,600
I think we all know who did it,
don't we?
265
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,880
I certainly do.
266
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,560
I can't deal with this right now.
267
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,240
I'm starting to feel sympathy for
my brothers
268
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,920
and a sense of family bonding. Do
you know how much money I've spent
269
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,000
on counselling to get that
out of my system?
270
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,000
Look, it's upsetting the twins.
271
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,320
This family needs me
now more than ever.
272
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,080
Don't worry, girls.
273
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,600
Nanny's heart is big enough
274
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,400
to take away all your sadness.
275
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,520
Gemma, you can find the killer.
276
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,200
Gemma cannot. Uh...
Are you kidding me, Mum?!
277
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,000
No way. It's wedding, remember?
Wedding! Phil was my love.
278
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,120
My fiance. Please, Gemma, for me,
get me vengeance.
279
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,120
No. I agree with Gemma.
280
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,440
Thank you.
For this weekend - yeah? -
281
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,320
there'll be no
investigating whatsoev...
282
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,120
It's going to be so exciting,
seeing what you do at work.
283
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,280
First, let's speak to Bob. He
seemed to have a pretty good idea
284
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,200
who killed his dad,
so maybe he knows something.
285
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,200
We'll get this whole thing wrapped
up before the first guests arrive
286
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:52,000
and start being difficult about
which table they're sat at!
287
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,280
Yeah.
288
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,720
We're having it noted that I
protested this whole investigation.
289
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,560
I mean, I will note it.
290
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,840
But I want the rest of you
to know that I'm noting it.
291
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,440
Hello?
292
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,080
Freddie, will you stop eating?!
293
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,720
We've got Malaga in three weeks.
294
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,880
Think about how you'll
look in the pictures.
295
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,080
Don't you dare embarrass...
296
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,080
Can I have another egg, please?
297
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,560
Hey, look.
298
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,040
My lot have arrived.
299
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,600
Hey! I might have to do
a little bit of...
300
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,160
Terry, murders, wedding,
301
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,800
tick-tock, nice frock. Surely we're
302
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,920
allowed to have a little, you know,
303
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,080
measure of enjoyment.
304
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,120
The build-up to the big day.
I mean, you know, just, what harm
305
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:57,360
could one tiny, wincey drink do?
306
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,920
Fine.
307
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,880
One quick drink.
308
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,560
One quick drink. Quick.
309
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,960
Let's get it on!
310
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,360
Bob?
311
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:22,240
Bob? Who bloody grieves on a lake?
312
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,120
And, Terry, that was not
a quick drink.
313
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,440
No, but it was a good drink.
314
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,680
I'm happy.
315
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:33,080
I'm very happy.
Cos I'm marrying you.
316
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,640
I think Bob knows something.
317
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,440
Maybe he's the killer.
318
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,120
Bob is a dear, sweet boy,
with a very generous heart.
319
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,840
At the same time,
I can see him being a cold,
320
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,200
ruthless killing machine,
who should be locked away for
321
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,120
the rest of his natural life. Bob!
322
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,400
Bob!
323
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,240
Hi! We've just come to ask
you a couple of questions.
324
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,880
Hi.
325
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,800
I know it's a difficult time, Bob,
but to be honest,
326
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,080
I'm up against the clock with this
whole nuptials thing tomorrow, so...
327
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,000
Bob?
328
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,880
Bob? Bob?
329
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,960
Oh! Argh! Oh!
330
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,520
What you doing?
331
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,120
Looking for clues.
332
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,080
Gemma, he's had his brain removed.
333
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,000
From the looks of it, they've
sewn the top of his head back on.
334
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,480
I mean, I'm all for neatness,
but that's ridiculous. Ugh!
335
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,600
He's still warm. Ugh!
336
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,040
I think this is the freshest murder
we've had.
337
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,840
The killer must still be nearby.
338
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,200
Oh!
339
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,760
Room key.
340
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,040
Let's get investigator-ing.
341
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,200
We'll have this killer caught
in about half an hour.
342
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,760
Bye, Bob.
343
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,160
Are there any murderers in here?
344
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,360
If so, we can pop back later.
345
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,720
Come on.
346
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,080
I'm so proud of you, you know?
Oh, yeah?
347
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,800
I know you may think
that I prefer Monica
348
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,440
because she's better spoken
and more beautiful
349
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,560
and I'm nicer to her...
That's about it.
350
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,960
..but she couldn't do what you do.
351
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,800
Catching killers, setting up
your own business.
352
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,720
Your dad would be so proud of you.
353
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,240
Oh, Mum.
354
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,560
Ooh... Ooh.
355
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,440
What is it?
356
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,240
Let's have a look.
357
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,600
And it's a clue.
358
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,000
Get in, five points to Gemma!
359
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,600
Let's just say three points to Gemma
360
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,200
and two points to Monica,
because you know how she gets
361
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,520
when she feels left out.
362
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,880
Oh...my...God.
363
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,560
Glen isn't really Phil's son.
364
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,080
Bob's dead as well?! Oh, my God!
365
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,040
God damn it all to hell and back!
366
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,400
Will everyone die today, Nanny?
367
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,280
If they do, can we take pictures?
368
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,200
Look at you two.
369
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,400
So discombobulated.
370
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,160
Let's get chocolate fudge cake
for the both of you.
371
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,680
Come on, girls.
372
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,400
Is this his brain at the end of
373
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,960
this fishing wire? I'm afraid so.
374
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,280
So...
375
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,960
..he had one, after all.
376
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,480
Vicky, can you just stay here
and just...
377
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,280
Just stay.
378
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,000
Come on, Mum. It's a hotel suite,
not a morgue.
379
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,400
Think of it as a morgue,
with a mini bar.
380
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,800
Hang on.
381
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,000
Yes!
382
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,960
My oversized Jenga's just come in!
383
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,360
So, Vicky's got a bit of a mardy on,
384
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,840
but she'll be fine.
385
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,120
Right, now, where's this giant...
386
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,720
..Jen...ga?
387
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,880
They weren't kidding.
388
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,600
They said it was oversized.
389
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,240
We can't have this.
390
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,280
There's 80 more in the car park!
391
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,320
The hotel says we've got to shift
them. All right, all right.
392
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,160
Come on, come on, come on.
393
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,760
Right, we'll all shift them
together, yeah?
394
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,120
Right, fine.
395
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,680
I'll shift it. Terry, we're in the
middle of a murder investigation.
396
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,280
Ugh... Mum, all we've done
since we've got here
397
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,840
is hunt this bloody murderer.
398
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,440
Something's got to give! I think
my wedding is a bit more important
399
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,120
than a few dead, uninvited guests.
400
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:13,240
You wash your mouth out, young lady.
401
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,200
And, fine, if you're giving in,
402
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,680
Monica and I will interview
the kids.
403
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,560
They won't stand a chance.
404
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,040
I mean, obviously,
I'm heartbroken about your father.
405
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,880
To lose a parent
is so awful for you.
406
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,560
But the loss of a lover, especially
one who can form a kind of
407
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,720
intense physical connection that I
had... Look, I suppose I'll miss him
408
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,360
giving me expensive handbags
to shut me up,
409
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,120
but that's about it.
Why is it that men feel that
410
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,520
they can just buy you out of
a bad mood?
411
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:51,120
I know. Whether it's real or put on
just for the hell of it!
412
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,800
I'm having trouble fathoming why
you're talking to me.
413
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,200
I mean, must be very nice for you
414
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,160
to speak to somebody who can
enunciate clearly,
415
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,760
but you've met Glen
and, yet, you're asking me
416
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,880
if I'm the one with daddy issues.
417
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,320
Oh...
418
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:12,600
I think Alex is grieving
as much as me, Monica. Oh!
419
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,720
Come to me, Alex. Come to Mummy.
420
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,920
I'll give you a cuddle and make
everything all right. Touch me,
421
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,200
and I'll pepper-spray you.
422
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,360
Glen did it.
423
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:27,000
Killed both of them.
Bloody obvious, isn't it?
424
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,240
Alex did it. Killed them both.
Bloody obvious, isn't it?
425
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,200
Yeah, we've talked to Alex
426
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,000
but, uh, I wanted to come and
interview you.
427
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,800
I wondered how it felt when...
When the old blood
428
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,920
faded away to allow new blood
to flow through
429
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,520
the business like freshly
chlorinated water through
430
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,920
a 12-nozzle lower-back
jet massager system?
431
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,720
Or when my only rival, the oafish
older brother, met his demise?
432
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,680
I'm actually quite chilled about it.
433
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,840
Do you think this interview would go
better if my mum left,
434
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,960
and we, say,
435
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,960
ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir?
436
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,920
Made it more...intimate.
437
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,840
Apparently, she's very adept at
the physical stuff.
438
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,080
Takes after me, in that regard.
439
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,720
Stop, you're spoiling it.
440
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,440
I've got a clicky hip,
441
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,080
but apart from that, I'm good to go.
Let me get a pomegranate
442
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,400
and we'll see who's going to win.
443
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,360
Can I ask you about
your fruit intake?
444
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:20,120
Yeah, first lesson
in business school,
445
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,600
assert dominance by appearing
uninterested and occupied
446
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,840
with a more important task.
447
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,640
I conduct all of my meetings looking
out of windows, eating fruit.
448
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,760
Does it work? It does, yeah.
449
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,400
Yeah, I've got
a chauffeur-driven car.
450
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,120
Because I am very good
at my job, and because
451
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,400
the constant fruit intake
gives me a runny bowel.
452
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,400
Do I apologise? No.
453
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,840
I just crush deals
and carry a lot of wet wipes.
454
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,720
Anyway, about that Pinot...
455
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,240
You know what?
456
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,440
I'm good.
457
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,360
Eh, they've closed
the all-day buffet, Mam.
458
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,880
Oh. Did you stuff some
in your pocket for later,
459
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,240
like you did when you were young?
No. I was going to,
460
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,440
but they're about to open
the all-night buffet.
461
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,800
Oh, just like when you were a boy!
462
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,920
Stuffing your face
to regulate your emotions.
463
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,640
Right, let's chow away
these feelings.
464
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,400
Well, I think you're the best
giant Jenga mover ever.
465
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,800
So what did you learn?
466
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,160
Well, nothing. Apart from the fact
that Glen's taking
467
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,280
his five a day way too far.
468
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,480
Despite achieving nothing,
469
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,920
we were really good at it.
470
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,880
I like this investigating stuff.
471
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,160
Right, I'm calling time on this.
472
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,160
I'm sorry, Mum, I did try
to solve the case for you,
473
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,920
but it's wedding day tomorrow.
474
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:46,040
I don't like failure,
but let's just try to enjoy the day.
475
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,000
Yeah? The police will have to
deal with it from now on.
476
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,440
Can I just say, Gemma,
477
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:55,720
you deciding to let the police deal
with this for once is just,
478
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,360
it's the best wedding present
you could have ever given me.
479
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,320
Oh, thanks.
So you're giving up, Gemma?
480
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,720
Just like you did with the cello
when you were a young girl.
481
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,600
And the horse riding.
482
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,400
And the battle with your acne.
483
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,080
Gem? Gem-Gem?
484
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:16,200
Is there any way you could convince
my legs to get me up to our bedroom?
485
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,480
Or get our bed
to come down and get me?
486
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,840
Wait.
487
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,840
Not tonight. It's bad luck.
488
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,520
Separate beds, remember? I'll just
jump in with Monica. OK.
489
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,920
You know, I love the fact that
you're sticking to
490
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,920
all the wedding traditions.
491
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,760
See you tomorrow. Mm.
492
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,360
We're getting married! Mm!
493
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,840
Oh... Mwah. Come on, girls.
494
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,840
Woohoo! Woo! Yeah, yeah!
495
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,440
Woo! Hoo!
496
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,560
You crack on and I'll just...
497
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,680
I'll just sit here
and catch up on my...
498
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,840
Oh.
499
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,360
It's an elephant.
500
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:04,440
It'll look really classy in
the...backdrop of the...service.
501
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,200
I'm a classy guy.
502
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,080
Mm...
503
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,320
Mm, Gemma.
504
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,680
Mm...
505
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,760
Aren't you beautiful?
506
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,040
How's it going? Really well.
507
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,760
I've just killed their owl. Nice.
508
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,040
Why? It's ominous.
509
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,680
OK.
510
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:27,040
I'm going to destroy
their whole wedding, bit by bit,
511
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,800
before I destroy them.
They ruined my life,
512
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,640
and now we're going to ruin theirs.
513
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,080
Call on Me
by Eric Prydz
514
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,240
Are you dancing?
515
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,920
Just me, then.
516
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,120
Fine. Just tell me who killed you.
517
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,520
Go on. Tell me.
518
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,920
Oh!
519
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,920
God, you're boring!
520
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,160
Especially you.
521
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:09,160
Oh, Gemma, look at you.
522
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,960
This is it.
523
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,920
Happiest day of my life.
524
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,520
I never say it because, well,
often, it's not true,
525
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,320
but you look amazing.
526
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,720
Oh! Don't cry, Mon.
527
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,120
I'm sad. All right, Gemma?
528
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,600
I'm sad for me.
529
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,400
I want to meet someone.
530
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,240
At first, we flirt,
then I start blanking him,
531
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,440
but he's now crazy for me.
532
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,480
We go on a few dates,
but no physical contact.
533
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,240
He thinks we're just friends,
534
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:40,880
then, bang! I hit him with
the greatest sex
535
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,240
of his entire life. He tells me
he loves me, I say, "That's nice".
536
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,560
I give him more great sex,
then tell him it's over.
537
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,040
He gets weird, I get weirder.
538
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,320
The weirdness makes him
want me even more.
539
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,560
He starts turning up at the flat
at strange hours.
540
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,920
I have to get the police involved.
Then two years later,
541
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,080
when he's moved on,
I see him with a new girl.
542
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,800
I point out she's very plain
and he should be with me.
543
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,760
He dumps her, but I tell him
it's not enough and walk off
544
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,520
into the distance.
Is that too much to ask, Gemma,
545
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,840
just to have a normal relationship
with someone?!
546
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,160
She's just upset, Gemma.
547
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,520
I think it's cos you haven't solved
the murders and are, as usual,
548
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,640
putting your own
selfish needs first.
549
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,960
Nice try, Mum.
550
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,720
Today...
551
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,720
Today is wedding day.
552
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,600
Of course. How silly of me.
553
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,800
Yes, Mummy. So silly. Mm.
554
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,640
And can I commend you
on your strength as well, Gemma?
555
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,680
Oh! Strong, am I? Oh, yes.
556
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,360
I wouldn't have a hint of the
bravery you're displaying right now.
557
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,360
Getting married, with all these
murders hanging over your head,
558
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,800
unsolved, it'll taint the memory of
this day forever.
559
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,640
Will... Will it?
560
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,960
You're right. You're right, Monica.
561
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:53,560
I wouldn't do it.
562
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,120
But Gemma's made of sterner stuff
than you and me.
563
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,520
Because...
564
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,280
..I'd be looking at those photos,
in 20 years,
565
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,880
and they'd be steeped in
sadness for me.
566
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,960
But not Gemma. No, not Gemma.
567
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,160
Right, then!
568
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,760
Come on. Everyone in the chapel!
569
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,640
I'll sort this!
Be with you in a minute.
570
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,480
Just got to wash this face mask off,
do my make-up, put my dress on,
571
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,640
then squish my bits around,
so they look good in the dress.
572
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,720
Everyone but Terry. It's bad luck
for him to see the bride.
573
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,080
Terry as well!
574
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,680
Figure it out!
575
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,280
Unbelievable!
576
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,480
Right, then - everyone, focus.
577
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,680
We're going to do this quickly,
then we can crack on with
578
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:47,160
the nuptials, OK? Yeah, just a quick
update before you get started.
579
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,320
Unfortunately, everyone,
the crick in the owl's neck
580
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,920
was more serious than we were
581
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,720
led to believe. So, sadly,
obviously, we'll be having a service
582
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,720
for the owl after our service.
583
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
584
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,640
So, here we go. Usual stuff.
585
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,240
I've brought you all here because
one of you is the murderer.
586
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,480
Yada, yada, yada.
Gone through all the clues
587
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,320
and so on and so forth, and
588
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,920
it's Glen. Excuse me?
589
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:18,960
Let's look at the facts, Glen.
You're...weird.
590
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,280
And there's, like,
tons of daddy issues,
591
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,200
so you killed off your dad.
592
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,280
Then, when you found out Bob had
done a DNA test
593
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,160
to prove that you weren't actually
Phil's real son,
594
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:34,280
you killed him as well,
to cover it up.
595
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,920
It's dead easy. Sorry...
596
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,640
..I'm not Dad's real son?
597
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,840
Er... But he was everything I am.
Every atom of my being
598
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,520
is him and wanting to be him.
599
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,480
Oh. Gemma?
600
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,320
Gem?
601
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,640
Gem-Gem?
602
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,200
Over here. Oh.
603
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,400
I'm loving the high energy
of your presentation,
604
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,240
but I think you've missed the mark.
605
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,720
Who am I?!
606
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,840
OK, OK, OK. Yeah?
I'm just getting warmed up.
607
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,960
So, I can now reveal...
608
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,600
that the murderer is...
609
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,960
..over here. It's Alex. Me?!
610
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,240
Are you an actual idiot?
611
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,880
Oh. Butter wouldn't melt, would it?
612
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,480
All you were interested in were
the handbags that Daddy bought you.
613
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:33,920
But...Alex, sweet, confused,
614
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,640
evil Alex...
615
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,480
..handbags aren't love, are they?
616
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,160
Eh?
617
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,280
And because Daddy wouldn't
give you real love,
618
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,920
he had to die, so he couldn't
give it to anyone else.
619
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,840
I would never hurt Daddy.
620
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,960
Bumping off Bob would raise
your share of the inheritance.
621
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,280
I think the police will be
very interested to hear that.
622
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,880
And what about all your debts?
623
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,400
You were getting hassles about
final demands, weren't you?
624
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,000
Have you ever heard of
a thing called inheritance tax?
625
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:13,400
I... It says that 40% of
Daddy's estate goes to the taxman
626
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,520
on his death.
627
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,240
Why would I kill him for the money,
628
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:20,680
just to give nearly half of it
to the Inland Revenue?
629
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,200
Surely I would just have him
sell the company
630
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,880
or keep the holdings offshore.
631
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,400
Cayman Islands are quite good for
that sort of thing.
632
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,200
That way, I'd nearly double
what I stood to gain.
633
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,760
Oh.
634
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,480
I-I did not know that.
No, I know you didn't, and it's
635
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,600
terribly unfair of me
to expect that you did.
636
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,760
It has noting to do with jeggings.
637
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,200
But I also have another spanner
638
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,560
to throw in your
loosely constructed works.
639
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,360
I have an alibi.
640
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:50,440
Hmm.
641
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,520
Nanny was stroking
my hair all night,
642
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:55,920
weren't you, Nanny? Mm-hm.
643
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,000
That's right.
644
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,280
I think it's time
to stop all of this.
645
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:05,080
Our family has been through
enough these past two days.
646
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,800
It's starting to sound like
everyone needs an early nap time,
647
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,240
and Gemma is dangerously close
to going on the naughty step.
648
00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:17,240
One minute for
every year of your age.
649
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:20,000
How long will you be
on there, Gemma?
650
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000
40...
651
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,640
7, isn't it?
652
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,480
It is not 47.
653
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,400
Right.
654
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,440
All right. She's got an alibi,
now so have you,
655
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,280
she was stroking a grown
woman's hair all night,
656
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,040
which is a perfectly healthy
thing to do.
657
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,320
Oh, I don't know.
I'm out of ideas.
658
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,080
I don't know who's killed
who, or what, or how, or... Ugh!
659
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,120
Well, you weren't stroking her hair
all night, were you?
660
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,120
Of course I was. No, you dafty!
661
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,720
Remember? I saw you about midnight.
662
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,920
You came past the buffet
all out of breath and that.
663
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,080
I offered you a custard slice,
with salted caramel sauce.
664
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,480
Delicious, by the way.
665
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:04,120
You just sculled past me
like I wasn't even there.
666
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,680
What about yesterday
lunchtime, Freddie?
667
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,640
Was she near the buffet then? No.
668
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,280
Lunchtime is when they light
the barbecue by the lake.
669
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,920
I offered you a quarter-pounder
with cheese.
670
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,560
You ignored me then as well.
671
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,480
Nanny?
672
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,640
Why have you lied?
673
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,160
It's her, she did it.
She killed our father.
674
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,440
MY father. It's too soon!
675
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,000
No, no, no.
676
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,160
Nanny is love, remember?
677
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,280
And that's why you did it,
didn't you?
678
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,920
It wasn't for the love of
the children.
679
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,320
I-I'm over here.
680
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,480
You did it
681
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,080
for a different kind of love,
didn't you?
682
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,000
For Phil's love.
683
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,320
You worked for him for decades
684
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,120
and all he ever saw you as
was the hired help.
685
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,800
He never saw the woman,
686
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,880
with feelings, emotions
687
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,720
and incredibly sensible hair.
688
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:10,520
35 years, I loved him.
689
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,840
35 years!
690
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,960
And what did I get in return, huh?
691
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,440
Nothing.
692
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:20,400
Nothing.
693
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,320
Wife after wife after wife.
694
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,880
I thought eventually,
he'd see me for who I am
695
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,280
and what we could be together.
696
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,880
But once SHE turned up,
697
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,240
I knew he'd never look at me
that way.
698
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,240
I'd wasted my whole life
on that man!
699
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,360
I'm a powerful presence.
700
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,520
I won't apologise for that.
701
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,800
But what about Bob?
702
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,400
Bob knew how I felt.
703
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,160
He knew it was me.
704
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,920
But he was going to give me up,
705
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,680
take me away from all of you!
706
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,840
Hang on, did I solve the murder?
707
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:19,640
No! I did.
708
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,600
Eventually. No, no, no.
709
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,040
I think I did, you know?
710
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,200
Mum, will you tell him?
711
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,440
Freddie's saying he's solving
my murders!
712
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,600
Chum, chum, chum, chum, chum...
713
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:31,960
Mum.
714
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,080
It's not fair.
715
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,520
So, what did I miss?
716
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,000
I'm the arresting officer.
Have to take Nanny down the station.
717
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,480
So I'll miss the wedding, Gemma.
718
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,760
Oh, but don't feel bad.
It's worked out, really,
719
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,440
because I didn't want to be here
in the first place.
720
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,520
That, and I'm more hungover
than I've ever been.
721
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,880
Don't worry, girls, Mummy's here.
722
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,280
Mummy can manage just fine
without Nanny.
723
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,680
So, what do you two
generally like to eat?
724
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,920
And when?
725
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,760
She taught us so many things.
726
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:24,040
Like how to use pulleys
to lift heavy things.
727
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,600
And the biology lessons.
728
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,320
Once, she told us about how
the human brain is complex...
729
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:43,960
..and fragile.
730
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,600
Put that down.
731
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,600
No! Nanny, please! Nanny!
732
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,480
Nanny, no, I'll be a good
boy, I'll be a good boy!
733
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,200
And she told us sometimes,
734
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,040
it's for the best to keep secrets.
735
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,040
Yes.
736
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,640
Secrets.
737
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,600
Bridal Chorus
by Richard Wagner
738
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,840
After the crap weekend,
at least give me this.
739
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:35,000
And do you, Terry,
take Gemma Sharon Draper
740
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,320
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
741
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,120
I do.
742
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,600
Definitely.
743
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,440
More than 100%.
744
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,440
"I do" is all you need to say.
745
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,240
No, it isn't.
746
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,920
But I understand
you're pressed for time.
747
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,520
And do you, Gemma,
748
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,720
take Terry Eustice Bremer
749
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:01,080
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
750
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,280
Oh.
751
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,600
Come on, love, don't waste his time.
752
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,120
I... Tony?
753
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,880
Tony, there you are!
754
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,600
I've been looking
absolutely everywhere for you.
755
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,440
What are you up to?
756
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:29,000
Er, excuse me, who are you?
757
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,280
Me, love?
758
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,320
I'm his wife.
759
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,800
# There may be trouble ahead
760
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,640
# But while there's moonlight
761
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:47,600
# And music and love and romance
762
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:53,080
# Let's face the music and dance
763
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:59,320
# Let's face the music
764
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,480
# And dance. #
56475
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