Original subtitles

Previously on L .A. Law.

That's Hamilton Schuyler.

He's a gifted trial lawyer.

Now, this young man is Kevin Talbot.

Three years ago, he was wearing pajamas made of fabric manufactured by the

defendant. Those pajamas caught fire.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Stop doing something negative.

Abby, if I fail the bar again, I'm dead meat.

What kind of woman would go to auctions looking for a date?

$5 ,000.

What are you doing?

Relax, Mr. Binker. What would you be looking for in the way of compensation?

$72 ,500.

He's a winner.

I want him to be our winner.

A patient of yours tells you he's going to go chop up a woman, then he goes out

and does just that while you do absolutely nothing?

I honestly didn't think Mr. Rob was capable of committing this kind of

We, the jury, find in favor of the defendant.

I murdered Allison, too.

You son of a bitch.

Miss Engelman, if you would, tell the court exactly what occurred on the

of July 16th, 1987.

I was leaving my dentist's office. I had my teeth cleaned when that man, James

Beaumont, exposed himself to me.

And under what circumstances did this take place?

It was in an underground parking garage.

I'd gone to my car, and while I was rummaging in my bag, looking for my

this man, that man, said to me, I will never forget this, excuse me, ma 'am.

And when I looked up, his pants were wide open, he was holding his shirt up

out of the way, and there it was.

There what was?

It.

Could you be more specific?

Do I have to be?

I'm afraid so, for the record.

It. His mail equipment.

Everything. The work.

And during this time, did Mr. Beaumont say anything?

Yes.

Disgusting, perverted things.

Specifically what?

Sexual things he wanted me to do to him. They were lewd and horrible things.

Miss Engelman, I know this is difficult, but I'm afraid you'll have to tell the

court exactly what Mr.

Beaumont said.

Your Honor, please.

I would rather die than repeat those things out loud.

Your Honor, perhaps we can solve the district attorney's problem by having

Engelman write it on a piece of paper, which can be shown to the jury, and then

enter it into the transcript.

Fine with me.

I guess that'll be all right.

Let the record reflect, Your Honor, that I am showing each member of the jury

individually Miss Engelman's written recollection of what Mr. Beaumont said

her.

Excuse me, sir.

Shall we get started?

Before we do, as many of you already know, Jonathan Rollins has joined us as

associate.

Yeah.

I invite all of you to take time in the next few days to introduce yourselves

and make him feel better. New business.

Atkins versus Atkins.

Where's Arnold?

He hasn't come in yet. I don't think he was in yesterday either. Maybe he jumped

to another firm.

Moving along, and for whatever it's worth, be advised that Mackenzie

al. has terminated its representation of Dr.

Peter Warren.

It's worth exactly nothing, Douglas.

Under the circumstances, there's nothing else we can do. How about go to the

police? How about you could be disbarred? Yeah, plus major financial

for you, for the firm. An innocent man rots in jail while an arrogant, self

-confessed killer goes free.

Don't talk to me about financial exposure.

Excuse me.

May I remind everyone, particularly our new associates, that as regards this

matter, client privilege binds us all.

And maybe we could avail ourselves of outside legal counsel to advise us on

rights and obligations.

Otherwise known as passing the buck? You know, if there is a legitimate way to

nail this guy, I think I know someone who can find it for you. Who?

Wendell Gleeson, my old mentor when I worked in the DA's office.

I thought he died.

Well, he's had a couple of major surgeries during the last year, but he's

great mind. And if he's up for it, there's no one better.

Do you want me to see if I can set it up for you?

All right. Thanks.

Now, a housekeeping matter.

Be advised in the last month that this firm has spent $1 ,873 on messenger

services. Accordingly, may I suggest less dependence on these gouges and a

greater reliance on the postage stamp?

All right.

Finishing up new business.

I'm pleased to report that Miss Kelsey has brought in Haywood Engineering on

retainer.

Old business.

Rohner versus Gradinger. Oh, I've had a chance to review the files. I'd like to

talk to you about it when you have some time.

Douglas... I thought you could use some assistance.

And as Miss Kleinberg asked for additional responsibilities, I suggested

she familiarize herself with the terrain.

Mr. Sufuente, Talbert versus Pelletier Manufacturers. I understand we lost on

the directed verdict.

Yes, but I still think we're willing to marry.

How's Hamilton Schuyler?

Manipulative, unethical, histrionic. Finally,

Mr. Markowitz.

We've seen nothing from you and Mr. Gianelli on the Spanko perspective.

And we've run into a few more problems, Douglas. A few of the projections were

offline. Offline?

Our client could be facing criminal exposure here. Get off my back, Douglas.

on top of it. And another thing.

Sooner or later, we're going to have to discuss the implications of your pending

nuptials. What implications?

Just that most other firms around town find it awkward.

To have married partners working together... Douglas, this is not the

only suggesting that perhaps the more expendable partner could resign. That's

enough. End of discussion.

End of meeting. We're adjourned.

Typical around here.

Arnie! Arnie, for God's sake, where have you been?

I tried your house, your car.

Arnie, are you all right?

No, I'm not all right.

I'm in love.

You mean the auction lady?

Separating myself from her, it's like part of my body's been cut off.

Do you realize you missed six appointments yesterday?

There must have been 30 calls. The women were lined up out there screaming at

me. Don't you think you at least owed me the courtesy of a call?

I'm sorry, Roxanne, but I was tied up.

Too tied up to make a simple phone call?

Tied up.

Arnie! Make it sound like that it was just an experiment.

To see if I was secure enough as a male to surrender to my receptive, vulnerable

side. Roxanne, she is incredible. The first woman that I've been able to relax

but really let down the armor and be myself.

Relax with me.

Who do you want to start with?

That's it, huh?

I spill my guts and all you want to talk about is phone messages.

I've heard it all before, Arnie.

How you're madly in love, and then a week later you find something wrong with

her, and then you're ready to move on to the next one. No, Roxanne, this is

different. It's like I've been searching for her all of my life. My missing

part, my soulmate.

That's fine.

If you personally never experienced it, there's no use in my even trying to

explain it.

Do you want me to start with Christine Amorelli?

She phoned yesterday to ask if you were free this weekend.

Kiss her off.

But kindly, okay?

Do you want me to explain why you can't go to Hawaii?

Or just a generic too busy?

Hawaii? Celebrity tennis tournament.

Sweet at the banakeya.

All expenses paid.

Well, I guess it would have been fun, but... sometimes a person has to make

sacrifices for love.

Don't they?

Hi, Benny. I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

That's okay.

We were early.

Honey, I have to talk to Miss Perkins. Why don't you wait right there?

Okay. I'll read my book.

Morning. Please sit down.

So, how are you?

I've got leukemia, Miss Perkins. I'm dying.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry. No, no, no. Don't worry. I'm not afraid for myself.

It's Benny I'm worried about. I wrote out a will leaving everything to him.

is it right here.

Plus my bank book and a $20 ,000 life insurance policy.

The deed and title to the house, it's paid for.

But suppose he forgets to pay the taxes or suppose somebody cheats him out of

his money.

He's always been so dependent on me that I'm afraid of what will happen to him.

He has no other family?

No.

And any other additional sources of income?

Oh, it's in there. He gets a small monthly check from SSI.

Well, I can establish myself as Benny's trustee, and we can invest his insurance

money, take care of his bills, put him on an allowance.

But I don't honestly see enough income here for a decent standard of living,

unless he gets a job.

Nobody's willing to give him a chance.

He can read?

Yes, and he can follow directions, and he knows how to use the buses.

I don't want to get your hopes up before I talk to my bosses.

But there may be a job for him here, as a messenger.

Oh, if there was, Miss Perkins, you'd never regret it.

Belly is a very special boy.

I know. I know.

And Mrs. Talbot, on those occasions that you do go out, who looks after Kevin?

I have a sitter come in. Do you ever leave him home alone for the evening?

No, never.

But in fact, ma 'am, Kevin was left alone on the night of the fire, wasn't

Well, I ran next door for about ten minutes, and then I came right back.

You testified at your deposition that you went to see your neighbor.

John Simpson.

Is that right?

Yes, sir. And you said that as you arrived to his house, Mr. Simpson was

watching the television game show Jeopardy, correct?

Yes.

I watched for a minute or two, and we discussed our plans for lunch the next

day, and then I went back home.

And what happened upon returning home, ma 'am?

Well, as I got to the house...

I... I... I saw smoke coming from Kevin's

window. And I... I rushed up to his room.

And I saw my baby.

And he was... He was on fire.

I know this is difficult, Mr. Talbot.

But would you tell us... What you did next?

Objection. I see no relevance in making this woman relive that awful night.

Your Honor, please.

Objection's overruled.

Please, try to answer.

What did you do next, ma 'am?

I threw a blanket over him to try to... Oh, God.

He was so burned.

I called 911.

I told them my baby was dying.

He was dying.

Mrs. Talbot, about how many minutes would you say elapsed between the time

returned home and the time you dialed 911?

Three minutes, four minutes, maybe.

The police blotter indicates that your call was recorded at 11 minutes past

nine. Is that accurate?

I don't know.

I guess.

And the television air time for Jeopardy is 7 to 7 .30. That means... If you

watched this program at your neighbor's and you dialed 911 upon returning home,

you were absent from your house for at least an hour and 40 minutes, maybe

longer. Objection. The time is of no relevance whatsoever.

Your Honor, I am trying to establish that if she had been home with her

she might have averted this tragedy entirely or at least prevented the

of the injury. I object to this vilification.

Overruled.

In fact, you were gone much longer than 10 minutes.

Weren't you, Mrs. Talbot? I can't remember. I don't know. Isn't it

had you been home with your child, this never would have happened? Stop it!

Order! I mean, how can you do that to her? Look at her son!

How can you be so cruel?

Ma 'am, if you don't stop, I'll hold you in contempt.

Come on.

The jury shall disregard that outburst.

Your Honor, I move for a mistrial. I'll take that request under submission.

We'll reconvene in my chambers tomorrow morning at 10.

The jury's dismissed until then.

How... can it not be a mistrial? They are obviously completely prejudiced. It

was only one juror. Remove the juror, but I still think the rest can be

objective. I see no reason to call... Your Honor, I don't... Judge, these

repeated motions for a mistrial are a travesty of justice.

He should be sanctioned. Oh, will you get off it? Don't you threaten me. Hey,

don't care how short he is, Judge. You can't let him keep pulling this. I

to this. That's enough. His constant manipulation is disgraceful, and you

it. Counselor. If any other lawyer walked in here and pulled the stuff that

pulled, there'd be a mistrial and jail time. I said that's... Enough,

Don't tell me how to do my job.

This trial goes on.

I'll make note of your objection for the record, and that's all.

Thank you, Your Honor.

My client wants out.

Against my advice, he has asked me to offer you $300 ,000 in a trust fund for

Kevin conditioned on the stipulation of no liability.

Sorry, no deal. Oh, wait a minute.

300 matches your initial demand?

That was then. Now it's a million.

Are you crazy?

Mr. Cifuentes, I'm going to beat you. There's nothing you can do to stop that.

That's what this is all about, isn't it? You're going to jeopardize your

client's interest because you want the satisfaction of a big win. And you're

suddenly throwing out fat settlement offers so you can avoid the fat loss.

You've got a problem, Calvin.

You've got a problem.

I've got a problem.

You know, sometimes I can't believe how incredibly lucky we are to have found

each other. I know. In some of the relationships I've had, some of my

relationships, my God, it is so easy to become cynical and give up on love

altogether. I know exactly what you mean.

And then this.

I mean, I know it sounds corny, but the answer is there really is a Prince

Charming. And his princess.

And they rode off into the sunset together and they both lived happily

after.

It's like a fairy tale.

But what I can't believe is that it's not a fairy tale.

It's real.

When I look at you, Arnie, I see something I have never seen before.

What's that, my love?

A man I want to share the rest of my life with.

God, I used to make fun of people who even talked this way. Now, ever since I

met you, it's all I can think about.

All the old, traditional values.

Marriage, commitment, home, children.

Growing old together.

What, is it too soon for me to be talking about this? Should I not get it?

No.

Of course not.

Then let's drink to us.

To love.

And happily ever after.

May I? I better not.

Sometimes this stuff gives me a headache in the afternoon.

Enter.

How goes it?

It's going, Douglas, it's going.

Think you'll have something for us soon?

Maybe tomorrow.

Splendid.

Splendid.

Mr. Gianelli, would you excuse us for a moment, please?

Oh, yeah. Yes, sir.

Sorry.

Look, we're trying to wrap things up here, Douglas.

Did you tell me you wanted to see me?

Miss Kelsey accosted me in the garage this morning on the way in. She demanded

apologies for my remarks yesterday regarding your hypothetical resignation.

She implied that if said apologies were not forthcoming immediamento, you'd both

resign taking all your clients with you.

She said what?

Stuart, I never meant to malign your abilities or your value to us as a

All I was trying to suggest is that in a small shop like ours, any fusion of

voting partners represents a threat to the integrity of the power base.

Not to imply that you and Miss Kelsey aren't of independent caste or would

necessarily vote as a bloc.

There's no need to belabor it.

I'm sure you understand.

But in the event my remarks caused you any apprehension or embarrassment...

I certainly apologize.

So noted, Douglas.

Then, if we're straightened out, I'll leave you to it.

Thank you.

This wasn't so painful, was it?

No. Proving that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

Excuse me?

Be a man next time. Don't send your girlfriend to fight your battles.

Juicy.

Poor, deluded man, falsely imprisoned, a cold, brutal killer who confesses the

perfect murder to his bright and beautiful attorney.

Cynical old XDA with a bum ticker brought in as outside legal counselor.

I think I have the solution to your dilemma, Miss Kelsey.

Tell me, please.

Resign, write it as a novel, sell it to the movies, and live happily ever after.

Actually, what I was hoping was that you could find a way for me to hang this

bastard out to dry in the real world.

However, what I will settle for is your opinion of my legal obligations.

Unfortunately, offhand, I know of no precedent in the law that will allow you

circumvent privilege.

You know, I find it ironic, to say the least, that a man without an ethical

in his body...

You're using my professional ethics against me to prevent me from doing

right. Smart knows his law, not your average dolt.

I know it's a long shot.

But if there is any way, any way at all... Nothing would please me more,

Kelsey, than to be your hero of the moment.

Thank you.

Is this the complete file?

Yeah. Good.

You know, I think of myself as a pragmatist most of the time.

Just I've never had a case where the stakes were so high or the consequences

tragic. You should have been a DA.

It sounds interesting.

I don't know a lot about it.

But I understand these people are very happy fulfilling menial tasks.

And he's incredibly diligent about following instructions.

He really knows about systems. His mother says that he travels all over the

by himself.

Plus, it could save us a lot of money. If you figure at $5 an hour... Five?

Minimum wage is $3 .35.

Douglas, we are talking about a 36 -year -old man.

You just said he was more like 10.

A 10 -year -old doesn't have to pay the rent or buy groceries.

We are talking about $200 a week, and you said yourself that we're throwing

more than twice that on messengers.

I like your thinking.

Of course, any decision in his favor would only be on a trial basis.

But it's possible.

I'll recommend it to the partners.

Thank you.

Opposing counsel on several occasions has accused me of making myself an issue

in this trial.

Well, if that's true, then, dear God, I am very much ashamed.

Now, if any of you are thinking right now about my adversity or my handicap or

my hardship, I beg you with all my heart to please stop.

This case is about that little boy.

A boy whose future lies to a large extent with you.

Now, I don't mean to suggest you can take away the hurt.

You can't.

I don't mean to suggest you can make him whole or normal again.

You can't.

I don't even mean to suggest you can make him smile.

But you can give him a chance for an education.

Experimental treatment. You can give him hope and you can reaffirm in his mind

and the minds of many others that it is wrong for a corporation to so willingly

dismiss safety in the name of profit.

I've noticed many of you find it difficult to look at this boy's face.

Well, painful as it is, I want you to take a good, long, hard look at Kevin

right now.

And then, perhaps, when you go back into that room, you can do something

to make sure the defendant thinks twice before he does this to the next innocent

little child.

Every expert who took that stand expressly stated that my client's fabric

safe.

that it complied with government regulations, and that every brand of

known to mankind would likely catch on fire if you lit them after dousing them

with flatter fluid.

There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that this fabric is unsafe.

This accident had nothing to do with my client's product, and every one of you

knows it.

Nobody's asking you not to cry for him.

Nobody is saying that this is not a terrible, terrible tragedy.

But you can't punish my client when it wasn't his fault.

You know, you took on an obligation when you walked in here and became a member

of the jury to be impartial, to be objective, and to return a verdict

which was supported by the facts.

It's okay to feel compassion.

I just ask of you,

that you not be blinded by it.

Wendell.

Michael.

Can I buy you a cup of coffee? I have a hot meeting with Miss Kelsey.

I'll find you after.

How's that going?

Interesting situation.

But have you got an interesting solution?

Basically, you're dead in the water.

Great.

Let me pose a question. In the best of all worlds, what do you want to

accomplish? The doctor goes to prison, the patient goes free, right?

Asked and answered. Question number two. In the real world, would you settle for

the patient goes free and the doctor is publicly exposed?

Can we do that?

Yep.

How? You let me blow the whistle on him.

You can't.

Our conversation didn't breach my client's privilege. They just extended

You're missing the beauty here.

What I propose to do is breach our attorney -client privilege.

That's just as unethical. Ah, but here's the difference. If you breach privilege

and you're subject to severe disciplinary action, Warren can sue you

firm for every dime you have.

Whereas, knowing your appreciation of irony, try this one out.

I am terminal, ergo, invincible.

If I were willing to disregard the ethics of the law, I would do it myself.

The last thing I want is for you to do it on my behalf.

I trust you will honor that.

Can't convince you?

No.

No.

Then I'm sorry I wasn't able to help.

It's a go on your retardo.

Excuse me? You're Mr. Selwitz?

The partnership okayed it on a trial basis.

Great.

You see that? He didn't even acknowledge my existence.

Sorry, I know I'm being paranoid again.

You have to relax. You are going to make yourself crazy.

That's easy for you. Your whole life isn't hanging in the balance.

You're right. I'm being extreme.

Everybody loves me and I have a blazing future.

I know, I'm being a jerk.

It's just letting down Markowitz on the Spanko thing, sweating out the bar

results, which I heard a do -out this week.

Plus, I had to have dinner again at the compound.

The compound? And you mean... Yeah, I really hate the place.

My whole family lived there, aunts, uncles, everybody.

And they made it very clear that if I don't pass this time, I have to go into

the family business.

Can't you just tell them no? Are you kidding?

Do you have any idea what happens when someone says no to my father?

You are terrified about this, aren't you?

How about I could end up dead?

Or worse.

I'm making myself sick.

I'm going to go call the Bar Association again.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Anne, I've got to talk to you.

What's up?

I know this is going to sound crazy.

But Tony Gianelli's in the mafia.

What? I'm not kidding.

If he flunks the bar, he's going to have to go back and be the head of this

whole mob family.

He told you that? I know. It's unbelievable.

Look, he's Italian.

They live in a big compound.

He keeps talking about how people in his family die.

He really told you this?

Yes. And you don't think maybe he was just making it all up to sound exotic?

Why would he do that?

Maybe because he's got a crush on you?

No. Yes? No. What if he makes you an offer you can't refuse?

Great. I'm going to end up sleeping with the fishes.

Madam foreperson, is this the verdict of the jury?

It is, Your Honor.

What say you?

On counts one and two of the complaint, we, the jury, find in favor of the

plaintiff and order the defendant to pay compensation to the plaintiff in the

amount of $4 .5 million.

Your Honor, the defense moves for a judgment for the defendant

the verdict and the alternative, a new trial.

I'll take it under advisement.

Court is adjourned.

I'll see counsel in chambers.

I'm going to want briefs on this, but I must say, Mr. Schuyler, I'm extremely

inclined to grant the defendant's motion. You must be joking.

I see no facts here to support liability.

I don't think it's a reasonable verdict.

The jury heard all the evidence. You can't throw out the verdict just because

you don't like it.

Or is it me you don't like?

The truth is, I should have granted the directed verdict.

But I was hoping the jury would let me off the hook and come back with the

result. Since they didn't, I have to act.

This is despicable.

It's a gross abuse of discretion, and I completely... Spare me, Counselor. Every

ounce of discretion cut in your favor.

Well, how can you do it to that boy? It's offensive.

I have a responsibility here. Just because I'm a dwarf, you think you

Now, you listen to me.

You should have settled this case.

Instead, you chose to roll the dice with an untenable claim. And the only thing

that's offensive around here is your indifference to your client's interests.

want this attack on the record. I'll put it on the record.

Twelve jurors saw it the same way.

You choose... Because you cloaked the facts in a blanket of self -serving

sympathy and pity.

But the evidence stands naked in here, Mr. Schuyler. And stripped right down,

you've got no case.

Brief's due in ten days.

Get out.

We have no idea what we're doing. We're in the boat. We're trolling in the boat.

We're going like 60 miles an hour in the boat. You know, do you understand what

I'm saying? We're going way too fast. I look back. I look back. The worm is

water skiing. All right.

The worm is on one hook.

I'll bet I can be more entertaining than that.

I was right in the middle of his monologue.

Is that my shirt?

I wanted to wear something that smelled like you.

Well, it was a clean shirt. It didn't smell like anything.

Now it smells like me.

I was going to wear that tomorrow with my chalk stripe.

Then I'll take it off.

Forget it.

It's ruined now.

Arnie, why are you making this into such a big deal?

I would appreciate it if you'd show a little more respect for my things.

It's one thing. Stupid shirt for God's sake. No, it's not one stupid shirt.

Do you know that every time you put your feet up on the dashboard of my Porsche,

you totally scuff the leather? Each time you jump into the hot tub with your

moisturizer, you leave a scummy film on the tile. Not to mention how you

continually slam the front door and rattle the stained glass, which just

to be imported from Italy.

What exactly is the point of all this? The point is that if you cared about me,

you'd show a little more concern for my feelings.

Your feelings?

We're talking about a bunch of stuff, a bunch of material stuff. Stuff that I

have worked very hard for, which happens to mean a lot to me. Which you, born

with a silver spoon in your mouth, obviously have no appreciation for.

Oh, please.

Oh, that's it.

That's it. Go ahead. Make fun of my feelings.

You know, you have been talking like this ever since I started talking about

marriage and commitment.

That has nothing to do with this. Like hell, you've been making a list against

me ever since, just looking for the escape hatch. Admit it.

You really don't understand me at all, do you?

The only thing I've ever been looking for is someone to love me and to respect

my feelings.

God. Nina, I had really hoped with all of my heart that that person would be

you. You are so full of it, Arnie.

I just can't believe I didn't see it coming.

Here.

I hope you can get the smell out.

Nina, come on.

I've expressed myself. You've expressed yourself.

There's plenty of time to assess the damages.

Tomorrow.

Nina!

What?

Nina, come on, what are you doing?

Oh, come on!

The night doesn't have to be over just because of this. No, just the

relationship. And I'll try not to rattle the stained glass this time.

Thanks. I've already seen it.

Psychiatrist arrested in torture slaying of patient.

Confessor to be released.

Nice work, Wendell. You must have called in a lot of favors.

A few.

You did exactly what I asked you not to do. What you expressly told me you would

not do. I didn't do it easily.

Oh, good.

You violate both my privilege as a client and my trust as a human being.

glad you had a few doubts along the way. You've done nothing improper.

The exposure here is all my own.

Assuming that's true, it does not alter the fact that what you did reflects on

me both personally and professionally, and I feel betrayed. You had an

obligation if you were going to fight my battles to abide by my principle.

You are rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

A killer is found out, an innocent man goes free. Isn't that what you wanted?

And isn't that really more significant than the violation of an attorney's

ethical code of conduct?

Oh, please, Wendell.

Not the ends justify the means.

After two bypasses, you stop being quite so tied to the comings and goings of

this earth.

The rules men make up to govern their conduct toward one another seem less and

less important in the scheme of things.

I looked at this situation which you presented me and I felt it cried out to

corrected. And I also felt that there was a better ending possible than the

required by a strict reading of the law.

And so I am leaving it better than I found it.

Am I not?

Arnie, Leland's been looking for you.

Never mind that.

I need you to call my travel agent and book me on the 705 to Kona.

You got a couple of aspirins.

You're going to Hawaii with Christina Amorelli, aren't you? As a matter of

yes, I am.

So what happened to Nina, the great love of your life?

Look, if you don't mind, it's just a little too painful to talk about right

okay, Roxanne?

You're two days ahead of schedule, you know, for the big blow -up.

Usually it takes you at least a week.

Thank you very much for all of your emotional support, Roxanne.

My life just happens to be in shambles, and you just have to get the last word

in, don't you? Some shambles.

A celebrity tennis tournament in Hawaii.

Okay, all right. You want to know what happened?

She broke my heart, Roxanne.

It's a fact. There's nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can do is

determine how I'm going to react to that fact. And the way I see it, I can

either lie here like a victim and I can feel sorry for myself, or I can do

whatever it takes to try and get over the pain.

Right. Roxanne, just...

Call the travel agent.

Thank you.

Roxanne.

Hi. I'd like you to meet Benny Stolwitz. Benny is going to be our new messenger.

Nice to meet you, Benny.

Nice to meet you.

Look, Abby.

That's a midget. Benny.

I'm sorry.

What's your name?

Benny Stolwitz.

Hi, Benny. I'm Hamilton Schuyler.

Nice to meet you.

I work here.

Oh, you're very lucky.

This is a nice place.

I know.

Bye, Benny. Bye.

This isn't a surprise.

You said your client was genuinely interested in helping Kevin.

I was wondering whether the offer for the truck fund might still be open.

I can check.

Personally, I think if we had another trial, I'd still win.

But I can't justify putting the boy through that ordeal again.

I'll try to get an answer for you by the end of the day.

Thanks.

But either way, perhaps we could have dinner tonight and you could let me know

then.

If you've got no other plans.

No, I don't.

Dinner sounds good.

Oh, fine.

Well, how about if I swing by here around seven tonight and you can pick

spot?

Great.

See you at seven, then.

Tony?

Hi.

I just heard.

I'm so sorry.

Three years of law school, a lot of stupid fantasies.

All gone.

Poof.

Look, maybe if you talk to them, you can get them to let you stay on as a clerk

until you can take it again.

So I could flunk a third time?

Abby, who am I kidding? I never had it in me to be a lawyer.

Mr. Markowitz carried me the whole time I was here, and still it was one screw

-up after another.

What are you going to do?

Go on and quit.

Saving the trouble of having to fire me.

No, I mean with your life.

Tony, you're too smart a guy. You don't have to capitulate to them.

Now, maybe you're not cut out to be a lawyer, but you are not a mafioso

What?

I know what business your family's in.

The mafia?

I swear, I won't say a word.

The flying Gianelli?

That's my uncle Baldo. He set the world's distance record being shot from

cannon in the 1936 World's Fair.

That's my grandfather Fabrio.

They used to call him the man in the moon.

Five generations of flying Giannellis.

Now it's going to be six.

A cannon?

They want to shoot you out of a cannon?

I'm the only one left who's not in a wheelchair.

Roxanne.

Roxanne. What are you doing here?

I thought you were going to the travel agent. I sent Benny.

What? Arnie, I've got a million things to do here. You sent a moron?

Arnie. What about my shirts?

What about my drugstore stuff?

I cannot believe that you would try and sabotage my weekend.

Here I am.

Let me see those.

Where's the sunblock?

In the bag.

Number six.

Good work.

I kept their change separate.

Benny Stolwit, you and I are going to get along just fine.

Come in.

Hi. You got a minute?

What's wrong?

I know you've been troubled. That's why I didn't bring up this issue before.

What issue?

If I have a problem with Douglas Brackman, I'll solve it myself.

And I'll do it my own way.

Stuart, I was angry with him.

It's a natural instinct to stick up for someone you love. Yeah, but the result

was you embarrassed me, Ann. You belittled me.

I think his exact quote was, don't send your girlfriend to fight your battles.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

Thank you.

Warren, case still weighing you down?

The truth is, I'm sitting here now secretly relieved.

So this is good, then?

I wish it were that easy.

If it were the right thing to have done, I would have done it myself.

I would have been willing to take the risk.

Can I make a suggestion?

Sure. Let's say we drive to Dantan. As you get the carbonara, I get the

and we crack a really good bottle of Barolo.

Now, all the while, of course, we will be tossing around the various

philosophical and ethical questions of the day.

After which, we get back in the car.

Stop by the video rental store, check out your basic dirty movie, drive home,

put it on the VCR and see what pops up.

Ann, Peter Warren's here. Do you want me to tell him you're gone for the day?

Hell no.

Ann, he's an ass murderer.

What you've done is really massively self -destructive. I think you should

that. Will you be billing me for that? A preliminary hearing has already been

scheduled. My embarrassment of soggery both in the world charges against me

be dropped at that time. I will then have the additional satisfaction of

you and this entire firm for violation of privilege. You want to sue me?

Let's go.

I'm dying to take you on in court.

You're a murderer, and we both know it, and a jury's going to know it. And if

you have the stones to sue me, this is where you serve the papers.

Be careful what you wish for, lady.

Is that a threat, doctor?

I'm merely suggesting you think about what you say.

You better pray that poor Elliot Robb doesn't figure out what you did to him.

Because when he does, he'll turn on you. And then the DA's office is really

going to be breathing down your neck.

Think about that, doctor.

Mighty Mouse, Superfly, I've heard them all.

Last year I had a trial in Boston, and opposing counsel called me the pit bull.

Why? Oh, I bit him.

It's just a little nip.

Let me share that with you. No, no. No, really? No, really.

Thanks.

I must say, this is the best wine I've ever tasted.

Well, Victor, I believe there are certain pleasures in life you cannot go

without, and a good French Bordeaux is one of them.

It has been quite an experience, Skyler.

Me too. I'm not used to losing.

Well, you didn't.

Well, not as far as the jury's concerned. One -on -one, you beat me

It's a generated mission.

Look, for whatever it's worth, gimmicks aside, it was a real treat to watch you

work.

Standing on the trial bag, do you always do that?

You should be glad I didn't fall off it, that really.

You know, I'd just like to say I appreciate what you did for me the other

the toilet with those punks in the bathroom and with your client.

Hey, he wanted to do something for Kevin all along.

I think we all did.

I don't know. Sometimes I think you get so caught up in winning the case that

you lose sight of your client's real interest.

Yeah.

Well, I've got a lonely plane to catch.

you a ride back to the hotel?

No, thanks. I'll walk. The air will do me good.

I'm a solitary man, Victor. I'd rather be disliked than pitied.

Consequently, I don't have many friends.

Like us to be friends.

It would be my great pleasure, sir.

You're a hell of a lawyer, sir.

If you were a little shorter, you'd be a real threat to my practice.