Original subtitles

Fine.

Your wife is one of the biggest stars in series television.

She must be pulling down easy 50 grand an episode.

And she thinks she can discard you like a piece of used Kleenex?

Forget it.

Now, what sort of work did you do before your marriage, Mr. Saban?

I was a personal trainer.

I take it that's where you two met.

She was my best client.

She blimped up over hiatus, and I had to get her back in shape before the start

of production.

Look, I know this is hard to believe, but this was me.

Ronald, Mr. Sacramento, 1982.

And look at me now.

I really love this woman.

For five years, I devoted my whole life to her.

And without warning, she just dumps me. I still can't believe it.

I deserve better.

Yeah, sorry.

Don't be.

You've been deeply hurt.

And I think, uh, two, three million dollar settlement plus some spousal

How many?

Absolutely. Look, the feminist door swings both ways. And it's not as if you

don't deserve it.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Baker.

Arnie. Arnie.

Look, uh, there is one other question I'd like to ask you.

Yeah, anything.

I go to the gym.

I use the machines.

Three times a week. But I can't seem to get any definition right here.

Well, let's have a look. Take off your shirt.

Do you use any supplements at all?

Oh, crystallized sublingual amino acids, lots of C and E, zinc, dolomite,

acidopolis, wheatgrass, spirulina.

What about free weights?

No, just the machines.

Well, if we're going to bulk up here, we're going to have to use free weights.

You're going to have to work these pecs till they burn. And quite frankly, I'd

shave off all that ugly chest hair. Ernie, I can't figure out your

Rocks?

Roxanne?

Sorry.

Stop the traffic.

Suddenly smoke is pouring out everywhere. Then the oil light goes on.

time I get the car off the freeway, the engine block is cracked.

Didn't you just drop a new transmission into it last night? Yeah, I've had it.

I'm selling that damn thing and I'm getting me some basic transportation. No

frills, no statements, just the car.

I agree. Oh, I don't know. We spend so much time driving. Why not have a little

fun? Like it or not, Victor, you are what you drive. It's nonsense.

No, it isn't.

The car you drive is as personal as the clothes you wear. Guys, I am not looking

to make a statement with my car. I just want to get to work.

Lest we forgot, the luxury to indulge in or turn up our noses at pricey

automobiles or other symbols of our professional standing depends wholly on

capacity to generate fees. In which spirit, Miss Kelsey?

Hamilton versus Archon life and casualty. Settlement papers are being

Miss Hamilton has agreed to drop her suit in consideration of a lump sum

of $500 ,000.

That's excellent, eh?

Perhaps it will offset the cost of litigating O 'Brien versus Lehigh

Mr. Cusack, where do we stand?

Opening arguments were yesterday.

And how much longer may we expect this crusade to occupy your time?

This may be a long shot, Douglas, but cigarettes are as addictive as heroin

as deadly as poison. And if the government won't put them out of

somebody's got to. Go get it, Mike. How can you advocate suing a tobacco company

while you sit there eating that poison?

What are you going to do when your arteries harden? Sue the bakery?

No one ever died from eating a jelly donut, Ann. So far.

It's with you.

For future reference, Michael, in view of the most recent appellate court

decisions, I fail to see the point of pursuing this type of long -shot

litigation. The point is that my mother smoked two packs of cigarettes a day for

40 years and finally died of lung cancer. That's the point, Douglas.

Douglas, why don't we move on to another item?

Arnold!

Sapin versus Miller. Yeah. As you may have read in the tabloids, Jocelyn

dumped her husband last month, but we're seeking to set aside the prenup and get

him some spousal support.

You're telling us that a healthy guy in his 30s is going to have trouble

supporting himself.

Mr. Sapin set aside a successful career to become a full -time homemaker.

How does that differ from women who've done the same in the service of their

high -powered husbands?

Sounds like a truly liberated man to me.

Sounds to me like a cheap gigolo looking to extend a free ride on the gravy

train. That's it.

I'm out of here.

Lastly, on an administrative note, after battling for two weeks with building

management, I've finally secured parking for our new... for our new associates.

Hence, beginning tomorrow, Mr. Gianelli and Miss Kleinberg may park on lower

level C.

Head in only.

Well, as that seems to conclude our agenda, shall we adjourn?

I found that extremely embarrassing, Stuart. Oh, you found that embarrassing?

Really? I say black and you say white. I say tomato and you say tomato.

You found that embarrassing.

Look, ever since we decided against this quickie wedding approach... You have

been racing around like you were planning a coronation.

Hey, you're the one who always dreamed about having a wedding at the Bel Air

Hotel, honey, not me.

Well, then why don't you let me handle it, Stuart?

Instead of doing what you always do, which is to take over everything.

every time I bring up anything to do with the wedding, you pick a fight.

Hogwash! Anne, you want me to read your mind! And when I can't, or pardon me,

you change it, I'm left holding the bag!

Stuart, whatever you want, just let me know.

That's what I'm talking about! You're doing it again!

All right.

What do you want me to do?

I want us to see a therapist.

Somebody with an objective point of view, and somebody who can help us sort

through some obviously complicated stuff here.

That's not my style, Stuart.

You afraid?

No.

I just believe in working out my own problems.

Besides, where would we even look for one?

I've compiled a list.

I did a little research, Anne.

Typical Markowitz.

First you figure out what's wrong between us, then you decide how to fix

Where do I fit in? Right here.

You're going to take half the list, and I'm going to take half the list. If you

want to find some names of your own, be my guest.

I just want to deal with it.

Fine. Fine.

This one's nice.

What are we looking at in terms of budget?

I just want basic transportation.

I could do that. I could put you in something very cheap.

Remember to change the oil every 5 ,000 miles. You'll probably never have a

problem. That sounds great.

Sounds great. I just happen to have a different philosophy. Which is? I don't

believe in depreciating assets in an inflationary economy.

The minute you hit the street in that so -called cheap car, it drops 30 % in

value. After four years, it depreciates 80%. To me, if

you want true value, you go top of the line.

This, Mr. Cifuentes, is top of the line.

This is a $52 ,000 car. It's a $52 ,000 investment.

Four years out, you'll have an option to buy it. And it's still going to yield

85 % of its value on visit.

I've got to admit, it's really comfortable.

I can put you in this car today.

It's loaded.

Top of the line. Chrome wheels.

Custom sound system.

Believe me.

Six months from now, you don't like it, I'll have a line stretching to the

sidewalk, waiting to take it off your hands.

Would you like to drive it?

Mr. O 'Brien, would you state your age and occupation, please?

Forty -six.

Construction foreman.

Until I had to stop three years ago.

What have you been doing since then?

In and out of hospitals.

When I'm home, with the...

I'm not good for much but lying down and watching the TV.

Mr. O 'Brien, are you in pain?

I have to say, it's real bad.

Like I'm choking.

It keeps getting worse.

Did you ever smoke cigarettes, Mr. O 'Brien?

Two, three packs a day since I was 16 years old. Do you still smoke

Four years ago.

I had started having trouble breathing.

The doctor said I had emphysema.

That if I didn't stop smoking, I was going to die.

And so you stopped right then?

I went to one of those classes and stopped for a while.

But I ended up starting again.

My breathing got worse and worse.

Finally, I got so scared that I

just quit cold.

And did your health improve after that?

No. I just kept getting sicker.

Thank you.

Nothing further at this time.

Mr. O 'Brien, were you ever aware of the controversy about the health effects of

smoking? Not when I started.

Just my mother.

I think it would stunt my growth.

That kind of thing. But you did know in recent years that some medical groups

believe there are risks associated with smoking.

And you were aware of the warnings carried on cigarette packages?

Yes. Did anyone ever force you to smoke, Mr. O 'Brien? No.

Did anyone ever try to convince you to quit smoking?

My wife did. Yet you chose to smoke anyway, because you wanted to, because

enjoyed it, is that right?

I knew it was going to kill me.

I quit.

Really?

Is this a picture of you sitting outside this courtroom yesterday morning?

Yes. Is that a lit cigarette in your mouth?

Yes. So if actions speak louder than words, what this says to me is you're

kind of guy who does exactly what he wants, no matter what the doctors or

else says.

Objection. Argumentative.

Withdraw.

I have nothing further.

Mr. O 'Brien, could you tell us how you came to be smoking a cigarette yesterday

morning? I was waiting for the trial to start.

I was sweating with nerves.

I had this terrible craving for smoke.

Like some kind of damn junkie.

I saw this burning butt in the ash can.

And I picked it up.

And you did this even though you'd been warned that smoking would make your

condition worse.

I know it was stupid.

But I thought, what the hell?

Doctors give me a year tops.

Why deprive myself now?

Thank you, Mr. O 'Brien.

Your excuse, sir.

So, does this qualify as a power breakfast?

I wouldn't know. I usually have peanut butter on toast with my fiber.

Check, please.

Right away, sir.

Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.

My mother always says if you want to learn about a firm, forget asking the

partners. They'll just tell you what you want to hear. Go to the associates.

Well, I probably sound like some kind of corporate cheerleader.

I really love it at McKenzie Brackman.

Everybody is basically supportive.

They're very responsive to your needs.

It's not like some of those big cutthroat firms I've heard about, where

everybody is trying to get ahead by climbing over the dead bodies. Sounds

too good to be true.

Well, the pay isn't as good as it is with the bigger firms. Well, that's

There are things that matter more than money.

The quality of your life, your work.

I don't want to give you the wrong impression.

I mean about issue cases, pro bono.

They will let you take some on.

McKenzie particularly, but Brackman, he's basically pretty bottom line about

billable hours.

It's no problem.

I'm looking toward a more general practice anyway.

And it's not that I'm unconcerned about social issues.

Black issues.

But damn it, I'm an individual first.

And the whole idea that I have to carry some kind of banner... I

don't sound too defensive, do I?

Believe me, I didn't mean anything.

Anyway... My interview's next Tuesday. Any words of advice?

I think you'll knock him down.

And if I had a vote, let me get this.

You don't have a job yet.

Okay.

But only on condition that when my employment status does change,

I'll let you take him to dinner.

Sounds great.

Is that Victor?

Yeah, I think so.

Let's get him.

Mr. Sepuentes.

Oh, this for you is basic transportation.

This is an investment.

Long -term value instead of short -term savings. Yeah, definitely going to make

a major dent in short -term savings.

We're talking about lifestyle investment here, Stuart.

This car is going to attract a certain kind of woman in droves. Second best,

Sepuentes. Probably just as well.

Gives you something to apply it to.

Victor, think about it, Carlton.

I've got a guy that can give you a great deal on the new Mitsubishi.

Whoa! You're gonna put a dimple in my door.

No,

it wasn't exactly a mutual decision.

Well, I do think he can be a little controlling and manipulative.

My relationship with my father was fine. Why?

No, I don't think I'm being defensive at all.

I'm a lawyer.

He's a lawyer, too.

What do you mean I sound like a lawyer? What's that supposed to imply?

Are you telling me that I have been on the phone for ten minutes spilling my

guts and you don't even treat attorneys?

What?

Let me tell you something, buster. You can use some therapy yourself.

Well, it really has a lot to do with control, I think, you know?

No, I don't think we're looking for a way out.

We're really looking for a way back in, you know?

What, you don't see couples who want to stay together?

Yeah, I heard a specialist, but... Yeah, look, I think we should look for

somebody else.

Oh, you've written a book?

Yeah, well, what's it called? I'll look for it.

Creative uncoupling.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I'm not exactly certain I understand our problem.

We have here a signed, witnessed, and notarized prenuptial agreement.

Paragraph 1.

Your client waives all rights to community property in lieu of a $25 ,000

settlement. Here is the check.

Paragraph 2.

My client retains her separate property. Your client retains his separate

property, too, with a single family dwelling in Beachwood Canyon.

Which I had to sell to meet expenses.

I don't even own my own place anymore.

I know. I'll take care of it.

So, since my client is in total good faith here, and since she's starting a

in Paris in five weeks, if we could just get these papers signed.

Afraid not.

Your client caused my client to sign this agreement while under duress and

without sufficient knowledge of the facts. You can forget about your 25

My client is entitled to one half of all community property, which, according to

our preliminary investigations, puts us somewhere in the neighborhood of two to

three million.

Oh, this is absolutely ludicrous.

Plus spousal support in the amount of $7 ,500 per month.

You should be ashamed of yourself, you big tub. For five years, he spends my

money. Spends your money? I managed it. You managed to spend it as fast as I

could make it. It's very simple, Mr. Becker. Your clients had a nice ride at

client's expense. Now it's time he hitched his wagon to a new star.

I resent that character, Jason.

And frankly, I see no purpose in continuing this meeting.

We'll see you ladies in court.

Come on.

Oh, Ms. Miller?

Can I have your autograph?

Yeah, I'd love it too.

I thought they could embarrass you into a bad settlement.

Believe me, they're going to pay the price in court.

I've total confidence in you, honey.

I am going to need a retainer in addition to the contingency to take this

trial.

Yeah, of course.

How much?

Ten thousand should do it.

Believe me, you'll seem very modest by the time I've finished.

You're going to be a wealthy man.

Well, look...

I have a favor to ask.

If you catch this immediately, it'll clean me out.

I'd appreciate it if you held it a day or two until the escrow closes on my

Beechwood house.

I have no problem with that.

Rock, come in a minute.

Thanks, Ronnie.

Have a nice day.

Hey, we're gonna get him.

And you have a nice day, too.

Rox, take this to the bank and deposit it immediately.

Yeah, it has a lot to do with control, I think.

Anal retentive?

I don't know about that.

Anal retentive?

When can we see you?

Oh, look, I don't think you can wait three months. No, can't you shift

around?

Well, yeah, I'm sorry, too. I'm real sorry.

Yeah, thank you.

Thanks for your time.

I'm not grinding into a brick wall here.

I just got off the phone with a woman who calls herself a feminist therapist.

She said she has to see me alone first to resolve my need to be exploited.

Stuart, I'm just not comfortable telling the intimate, personal details of my

life to strangers.

Yeah, but we gotta do something, Ann. Our communication stinks.

Stuart, we're not children. We don't have to run to Daddy every time we have

problem. That's childish, Ann. You gotta give it a chance first before you say

no.

Fine. Fine.

Mr. Fredericks, you are the president of the Lehigh Tobacco Company, is that

correct? Yes, since 1967.

Your industry spends a great deal of money on advertising, doesn't it?

Something like $2 billion a year, is that correct?

Well, I'm not personally familiar with the total amount, but I wouldn't argue

with you.

Mr. Fredericks, is this one of your company's ads?

Yes, sir. Would it be fair to say that this ad is meant to convey that smoking

is something that young, attractive, healthy people would enjoy, sort of like

skiing? Well, I hope so. That's what advertising is all about, Mr. Cusack, to

get people to buy your product.

Mr. Fredericks, does your company manufacture this brand of cigarettes?

Yes, it does. Would you please read for the court, Mr. Fredericks, what it says

there under Surgeon General's warning?

Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate

pregnancy. So, contrary to your ad, smoking isn't something that young,

people ought to do. That is, if they want to stay healthy.

Well, the government requires us to print those warnings on our packages,

that doesn't necessarily mean that we believe them.

So you're saying that you dispute the conclusions of the Surgeon General?

Well, I guess what I'm saying is that I have a hard time believing a lot of

things the government tells me these days.

Mr. Frederick, do you encourage people that you know to smoke, say, friends or

family members?

Oh, I wouldn't presume to recommend one way or the other. I don't know what it

means to you, Mr. Cusack, but to me, being an adult American citizen means

having the right to make your own choices.

How about murder, Mr. Fredericks? Do you want that right, too?

Objection. Withdraw the question.

Nothing further.

Mr. Fredericks.

How old are you? I'm 66. I'll be 67 next month. Are you a smoker?

I am. Two packs a day ever since I was 19.

And how is your health? Well, at my last physical, my doctor told me I'd live to

be 100, unless I get hit by a bus first.

So you haven't experienced any ill effects from smoking? For me, at least,

find it to be a benefit.

In what way, Mr. Frederick?

It helps to alleviate stress, which, in my opinion, is really what's killing

people these days.

I am so excited about Victor's new car. Have you seen it? It's so elegant. Such

a power state.

He's so cute with it, too.

Sherry, throw me your car.

Oh, who's he kidding? He thinks it's sexier than I am.

So, Mike, how's the trial going?

Well, I'm holding my own.

Do you really have to smoke?

Oh, come on, Mickey. It's only my second one today.

It isn't going to kill me.

Not just you. It's everyone around you that it affects.

Okay, fine.

Houston, I'm going to the little girl.

Wait. I'll go with you.

I'll sleep on in there.

All right.

Does he always rag on you like that about your smoking?

I mean, everybody's got something, right?

I mean, I get around a man that I really want to impress, and all I do is eat

and talk, eat and talk.

I hate it, but I can't stop myself.

Don't be silly, Sherry. You were fine.

Besides, with a figure like yours, why worry?

Now, if I ate the dessert you just ate, I'd gain five pounds.

What's your secret?

Do you really want to know?

Yeah.

You're kidding.

Hey, it's not a major problem.

I just do it when I eat too much.

I'll wait outside, okay?

Okay. See you in a sec.

Fine.

Sherry will be along in a minute.

I'm parked in the street.

I don't trust valet parking.

So why don't I get the car and meet you guys up front?

Bad news is that escrow on Mr.

Sacramento's Beachwood house closed.

Oh, great.

The bad news is that his share of the proceeds came to $3 ,452.

Come on, Ron.

He refinanced the house and took out a second.

By the time everyone was paid off, that's all that was left.

What about the check for $10 ,000? Pure rubber.

Do you want to petition the court to have a new lawyer assigned?

Oh, no.

No, look, he's a swine, Rox, but he's my swine. And all my best instincts tell

me that there is money there. I just have to figure out how to shake the

Rox? Mm -hmm?

How about this?

She starts shooting a movie in Paris in five weeks, right?

If we file for an accelerated trial, it may just be au revoir, gay Paris.

Hello, Oxnard.

Let's see if that gives us a little more leverage.

Ann, I found the answer.

Intelligence, reasonable nose, psychobabble. Plus, they can see us

.30. They?

It's a married therapist team.

Stuart, I'm having enough trouble with one person. Don't you think two is

overkill? Think about it, Ann. It makes a lot of sense.

You get the wisdom of two therapists instead of one. Plus, they're married.

know, they know the territory intimately.

And there's a balance. No ganging up two against one.

Maybe we should just take this to a jury, Stuart. That way we get the

12 opinions.

Ann, one shot.

It's all amazing.

I'll tell them everything.

I'll tell them about how my mother never breastfed me and about how I had a

crush on my father from the time I was four.

You never told me about that.

Finally, Dr. Saxon, will you describe for the court the research which you

done on the effects of smoking tobacco?

In more than two dozen experiments on laboratory rats pumping the equivalent

three packs of cigarettes a day into their lungs, I was never able to induce

emphysema or any other disease.

Your witness, Mr. Cusack.

Dr.

Jackson, do you agree or disagree with the Surgeon General's conclusion that

in four smokers will die prematurely from diseases caused by cigarettes?

I don't believe a causal relationship between smoking and disease has been

established by anyone, including the Surgeon General.

And can you name any reputable medical organization that shares your view?

I don't keep lists.

What about a statistical correlation between smoking and disease?

There's an old saying.

There are liars, damned liars, and statisticians, which means you can make

statistics prove anything.

You don't smoke, do you, Dr. Saxon? No, I don't. And is one reason for that

because you feel that smoking is bad for your health?

It just never interested me.

You didn't answer my question, Dr. Saxon.

Smoking may carry some risk.

So does breathing the air in Los Angeles.

Every day we're exposed to all kinds of risks.

from carcinogens in our environment, and there's no way of avoiding it unless

you want to live in a cave somewhere.

Where do you get your funding for your research?

The Council for Tobacco Research.

Which is funded entirely by the tobacco companies. Isn't that true?

I believe that's essentially correct, but that has no bearing on how I conduct

my research. I'm a scientist.

How many times have you given depositions or testified on behalf of

companies in suits like this? I can't say exactly.

A dozen, perhaps 15 times.

17 times exactly. Isn't that true?

You say so?

I say so.

No further questions.

At this time, Your Honor, the defense would like to call Phyllis O 'Brien.

This is O 'Brien.

You're seeking damages in this matter for the loss of your husband's

companionship. Is that right?

Yes. Did you ever try to convince your husband to quit smoking? A million

After the doctors told him he had emphysema, I begged him to stop. At

time, as I understand it, he went to a quit -smoking class and did manage to

stop for a while.

Right?

Yes. And then as soon as he did, you walked out on him, didn't you?

Objection. Irrelevant.

Your Honor, it goes to the issue of liabilities and damages.

Not to mention the numerous studies indicating that stress is an important

concomitant in many diseases.

including emphysema.

I'll allow you a little more latitude.

Mrs. O 'Brien, did you or didn't you walk out on your husband just two weeks

after he stopped smoking?

It was a hard time for both of us.

And isn't it true that you had an affair during that period? Objection! And that

you became pregnant and had an abortion because you weren't sure whose baby it

was? Objection, Your Honor. This is totally irrelevant and without

Counsel, approach.

Mr. Mathers, where is this going?

Still to the issues of stress, liability, and damages, Your Honor.

If I could be allowed the indulgence of just one last question.

One.

Mrs. O 'Brien?

Yes.

I want you to remember that you're under oath.

Isn't it true that you left your husband because you wanted a divorce?

And the only reason you went back was because you figured he was going to die

soon... Objection! ...and you could make some money off his corpse? I'd ask that

the council be centered and the jury be instructed... Oh, my God!

You are trying to kill him right now! Brian, are you all right?

He needs a doctor.

We're in recess.

Mr. Cusack, you let me know when and if we're able to proceed?

Yes, Your Honor.

Officer Goodman?

Sergeant Wilkins?

The judge is getting real antsy back there. Are you ready to go with anything

yet? I'm still calling witnesses, okay?

Mrs. Mallory?

Bernice Mallory?

Victor Cifuentes, witness on the Cochran matter.

Victor, you did not have to come down. I could have put you on call.

That's okay.

I thought it might be interesting to see this stuff from the witness's point of

view. Great, huh?

Hey, how did this guy get busted anyway?

It's a routine traffic stop. Your radio was in his trunk.

Can I look at the rest of the report?

Yeah.

You'll enjoy his rap sheet.

Five auto burglary priors, a couple of GTAs.

By the way, you've seen Sherry again.

You know,

they always seem so normal when I first meet them.

Officer Durslag?

Officer Durslag?

Officer Varian?

Oh, great.

Grace, it looks to me like there's going to be a problem with probable cause on

the search of the trunk.

I mean, I think this guy's going to walk.

Victor, trust me. I am not going to let the guy who ripped you off skate out of

here. Now, believe me, I know what it's like, even though it is just a radio.

It's like this personal violation when it happens to you, right?

And this PD, he's brand new, he's even more swamped than I am, and I'll just

make him an offer he can't refuse.

Excuse me.

Officer Goodman on the Roderick 459. Where the hell you been?

Victor, go back to work. I'll take care of your thing. I'll call you with the

disposition.

Responsibility, ladies and gentlemen.

That's what this case really boils down to.

These huge tobacco companies are selling addiction, suffering, disease, death.

And they're not being held accountable.

Tragically...

Absent a miracle, there's nothing we can do to save my client's life.

But all you can do for Mr. O 'Brien is to compensate him for his medical bills.

He's lost wages.

You could even attempt to compensate him for the terrible pain and suffering

that he's been through. You could even attempt to compensate his wife for all

the years that she's going to be deprived of his company.

But there is one more very important thing that you can do.

By awarding Mr. O 'Brien substantial damages, you can send a powerful message

the tobacco industry that if you insist on marketing this insidious product, be

prepared to pay dearly for that right.

To paraphrase a great American patriot,

I may not agree with a single word of what Mr. Cusack said, but I would defend

to my death his right to say it.

And in the end, isn't that what this case is really about?

Freedom? Those precious rights guaranteed under the Constitution to

American citizen to express himself as he chooses in thought, speech, and

action. You've heard a lot of conflicting testimony here.

Maybe smoking is dangerous, maybe it isn't.

But if smoking is dangerous, then so is flying an airplane or skiing down a

mountain. All of us, every day, measure risks and make choices.

That's exactly what Mr. O 'Brien did.

Only now he's asking to have it both ways.

He wants the freedom to do as he wants.

But he also wants someone else to take the responsibility if he doesn't like

outcome.

as much compassion as we may feel for Mr. O 'Brien, that does not entitle him

seek out scapegoats or financial windfalls.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the furtherance of your oath as jurors, I ask you to

set aside your emotions and draw that important distinction.

Are you sure you won't join me in Champaign? Not when I'm doing business.

I have to tell you, Miss Miller, I'm uncomfortable being here at all.

As I told you over the phone, it's highly unethical for me to see you

your attorney present.

I told you on the phone I fired my attorney.

I'm representing myself.

Fair enough, but I have to warn you, my client's been deeply wounded.

They are not the kind of wounds that are easily healed by a settlement.

You've forced my hand with this motion for an accelerated trial, Mr. Becker.

But there's no cliche I believe in when it comes to cutting a deal.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Excuse me?

Coin of the realm, Mr. Becker.

500 ,000 cash.

In return, Dan Chapin is out of my life forever by sundown tomorrow.

Should have been a lawyer lady.

Couldn't afford the pay cut.

Well?

I, uh, I think I can sell this to my client.

Then have we consummated our deal, Mr. Becker?

I believe that we have.

Good.

To Austin.

I'm here about Cochran.

I think you should petition to get his guilty plea set aside.

Cochran? Yeah, he ripped off my car radio. You let him cop out to a

theft. Now what, you think he deserves the gas chamber?

I think he should have been dismissed.

There was no probable cause to search the trunk of the car.

What are you, some kind of lawyer?

Yeah, I used to be a PD.

Four years.

Oh, and you think I screwed up?

No, I...

Look, I know this is a tough job. I mean, they throw you in with piranhas

you're still real green, but this is pretty obvious from the arrest report.

Well, when did you get to see it anyway?

Yesterday. The D .A. showed it to me.

Yesterday? You mean you wait until I'm totally sandbagged and then you tell me?

I think I got my priorities screwed up.

I mean, some stupid car radio meant more to me than your client's Fourth

Amendment rights. It was only after being up all night that I realized that

his rights get trampled on, who knows, maybe yours and mine are next.

I did some research for you on getting the police set aside.

I think if you can do that and get the case dismissed, it'll make us both feel

whole lot better.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Yes, Your Honor.

In the case of O 'Brien v. Lehigh Tobacco, we, the jury, find in favor of

plaintiff.

In the matter of damages, we order the defendant to pay the plaintiff the sum

$1 ,000.

And how long do you anticipate that appeal process?

Take it. However long it takes. Mr. Kuzak, how do you interpret the verdict?

Maybe later.

All right.

I have a proposal to make.

I'm listening.

We both know how harmful it is for your client for this precedent to remain on

the book. I have every confidence we'll prevail on appeal, Counselor. On the

federal preemption issue alone, you're dead.

In this circuit, maybe. Maybe not.

But I'm sure your client would prefer a sure thing.

In consideration of Mr. O 'Brien's ill health, we are prepared not to contest

your appeal or to pursue our own.

In consideration of?

$250 ,000, payable immediately.

No public disclosure of the terms.

I'm afraid not, Mr. Cusack.

As a matter of policy, we never settle these cases.

And believe me, we don't lose them either.

If your client thinks he got put through the ringer this time, I assure you that

was just a rinse.

The heavy duty cycle's coming up.

I don't take kindly to threats.

Then consider this a statement of fact instead.

My client is prepared to litigate this case into the 21st century and beyond,

that's what it takes.

Between you and me, Mr. Cusack, I don't believe it will.

I

just

can't stand the thought that we could be them and there could be another couple

like us out here listening.

Well, you can't really, no.

Hear what they're saying.

What are you, deaf?

That doesn't mean the whole world is frigid. Roosevelt doesn't think I'm

Why don't you scream it a little louder, you... Well, you know, if you're going

to yell, hey, this is the place to do it.

I'm Mr. Markowitz, Ms. Skelton.

I'm Dr. Robert Ingram.

And I'm afraid this is not an ideal time to see you.

Ideal? How about lousy?

Jan, stop this right now.

Take it, you anal -retentive sociopath.

Do you know the only reason I married him to begin with was because my mother

hated his lousy guts. Jan, I'm going to lose my temper in a moment. Oh, I quake

with terror.

That's it.

We can't see you. We're getting a divorce.

I wish you two the best of luck.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Arnie.

I brought you some arginine supplements.

We're going to build up these pecks yet.

Won't you come into my office for a minute? Sure.

Listen, there was a problem with your check. Oh, that.

Look, I'm sorry. The bank screwed up. Well, it bounced again when we tried to

redeposit. Look, don't worry. Your confidence has inspired me.

At this point, I wouldn't consider anything less than three million.

Funny you should mention that.

I had a meeting with your wife.

She fired her attorney.

So you would go on the ropes.

Actually, she made a settlement offer. I think it's one worth considering.

Well, it better be at least two million.

Good God, how much is that?

Half a million.

Cash.

Yeah, what do I sign?

I heard you won.

Yeah, so I'm winning.

Jerry came back with a lousy thousand dollars in damages.

Tobacco company has all the money and time in the world. My clients don't have

the stomach to fight to the appeal.

Come on, get up.

I'll buy you some dinner.

Grace, I really think I ought to be alone tonight.

Well, what am I supposed to do? Disappear until you decide I can come

I really don't feel very social tonight.

And I'm not your date.

Mickey, I know how much this meant to you.

But under the circumstances, did you really expect to win?

What do you say we put a hold on the post -mortem, all right?

You're looking for a fight, aren't you?

No, I'm looking for sympathy. And if you can't give me that, then why don't you

just leave me alone?

Why are you putting all of this on me?

You tilt at windmills, and then you beat us both up because you lose.

Thank you for pointing out what a jerk I've been. I really appreciate the

insight, Grace.

You're welcome.

We should have kept the appointment and offered to reverse roll. Maybe we could

have helped them.

I told you this one guy last week. He said, I'm sorry, Mr. Markowitz. I'm

away on vacation to Hawaii next week. I said, hey, no problem. We could use a

couple of weeks in the sun ourselves. We'll join you.

He didn't get it.

I had it down to a little set peak.

He's controlling and manipulative.

I'm distant and withholding.

Or was it vice versa?

I think I've actually figured what this is all about for me.

It's pretty basic stuff.

I was terrified to lose you.

I just... I never...

I quite believe that you chose me, so I'm always half expecting you to leave.

The harder you try to hold on, the more I look for excuses to pull away.

It's a perfect neurotic match.

Me too.

You know what, Markowitz?

Maybe the lesson is we just have to paddle our own canoe.

Yeah, well, if we're going to do that, I think we should paddle it right on up

to room 604.

I have very fond memories of room 604.

Well, I'm really glad to hear that because I reserved it.

I'm just on the off chance that this conversation might take its little turn.

Controlling?

Manipulative?

I'm unthoughtful, huh?

What about prepared?