All language subtitles for L.A. Law S01E22 Pigmalion

Previously on L .A. Law.

Let's do it. I know that camping was not
your first choice for a vacation, and I

just want you to know how much I
appreciate your being so open.

Could you throw some toilet paper over
here?

Yeah, where'd you pack it?

I didn't pack it. You did.

Ah, you did. What am I supposed to do?

How about a leaf?

A leaf?

Any kind of doctor can treat the poison
tobacco, or whatever it was.

Did you remember to bring the leaf
specimen?

Next day, I go down to the pier. The
harbor master tells me internal revenue

agents have seized the boat. He left me
a notice I owed $540 ,000 in taxes.

The IRS is saying you're using your boat
to run drugs.

Drugs? Your Honor, Ron Messer is being
forced into personal and financial ruin.

Unfortunately, Mr. Kuzak, there's been
no showing that the levy was anything

proper. As such, I'm not at liberty to
disturb it. Some kid takes a pot shot at

me. And all of a sudden, I'm supposed to
be the department's hardest.

You have been pushing me and everyone
else away with the booze and the

tranquilizers. It's not you, Grace.

Mickey, be a pal, huh? Yeah. Get off my
back.

I'm going to go out. And when I come
back, the bills better be gone, the

better be gone, or you better be gone.

I'm going away, Mickey.

As soon as I...

understand what I really want. I promise
you'll be the first one to know.

Uncle Willard's Animal Farm. Come and
visit in his barn.

Meet Moo Cow, Pigs and Billy Goats. See
the ponies eat their oats.

Hi, boys and girls.

Welcome to Uncle Willard's Animal Farm.

It's the drum.

Oh.

More. More, more.

There.

There, you see, he's sleeping with that
pig.

Arlene, are you sure you want to go
through the agony of a divorce over some

little fling with a young assistant?

Who'd be assistant?

The pig.

I caught him in bed with the pig.

Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold
it.

Are you saying that you caught Uncle
Willard?

In bed with a sow?

You don't believe me, do you?

She's got to go to three, four hundred
pounds.

Fine, fine. I'll get another lawyer.
Calm down. If you say you saw it, that's

good enough for me. But whatever he and
the pig were doing, the point is it's

not central to your case.

My husband commits an inconceivable act
of perversion with a barnyard animal and

it's not central to my case?

Not in California.

Uh, not under the no -fault statutes.
Uh, short of alerting the ASPCAI,

I don't know what else we can do.

Well, we could expose him. I mean, you
could go to the press.

What I'd like to do, uh, I'd like to try
a little quiet diplomacy.

With your permission, I'd like to get
your husband's lawyer on the phone and

up a meeting for later in the week. And
then if we come up against a brick wall,

then we can weigh in with the private
investigators and the...

Big cannons.

Doesn't that make a better chance?

Well, I suppose so.

Great. I'll let you know when it's set
up.

Thank you.

You

tell me.

Personally, I think it's a pigment of
her imagination.

People versus Bernal.

Victor seems to think they'll get to
closing arguments tomorrow.

Thank you. With Victor and Abby tied up,
Douglas, what's the status of the

litigation related to the late Sparky? I
decided enough of my life has been

consumed by it already.

Mutual releases have been executed, and
I'm putting it behind me.

Speaking of which, how's the poison
sumac?

The end is in sight.

Touché.

Surely imprenuptial.

What's this matter doing still pending?

Well, the Bride to Bees lawyer's been
ducking me. I can't even get the guy on

the phone. I thought we agreed this was
a no -win situation, and you were going

to farm it out to Lester Friedman's
firm. Well, sure, and then they tell

they say, hey, since we did such a great
job with the prenup, why don't you let

us take a look at your corporate stuff,
and the next thing you know...

Julian is theirs. Arnold, these people
are supposed to get married Saturday.

I know that, Douglas. I'm going to take
care of it.

Get off my back.

Messer versus Internal Revenue Service.

Yeah, the court handed down an interim
ruling that at least I get to see the

surveillance reports.

Messer's out running around trying to
find his old crew members to testify

he was not in Valparaiso picking up
cargo.

and also that there were not certain
individuals aboard his boat. But right

I feel like I'm shadowboxing.

Yeah, when the service hammers you, you
stay hammered. Well, I think that

concludes. I have one announcement.

Later this afternoon, I'll be going into
Cedars -Sinai for surgery, and if you

want to reach me for any reason, please
leave word with Iris.

Leland? What is it?

What's wrong with him?

We're adjourned.

I'm going in for minor surgery. It is
nothing.

It's not nothing.

You're pale as a ghost. It's obvious
you're in pain.

Michael, please.

My health is no one's concern but my
own. Outside the family, maybe, but not

inside. Leland, you have a whole group
of very frightened people out there who

deserve to know what's going on.

I'm going in for... hemorrhoidectomy.

You despicable rat.

Hemorrhoids. I told you it was nothing.

What you told me and how you behaved are
two different things.

My God, Leland, I thought you were
dying.

I'm sorry, but it's not the most
glamorous ailment I could have conjured

Being embarrassed is no excuse for
scaring me half to death.

No, it's not embarrassment, Iris.

What then?

Fear.

Of hemorrhoids?

No. Oh, of surgery?

Old age, loss of dignity.

I mean, I'm scared, Iris. I've never
been in the hospital. People die in

hospitals. Oh, Leland.

Oh, you'll be fine. You'll see. We'll
get you a rubber donut to sit on, and

you'll be back in the office in a few
days.

You'll mind the store.

Of course. One thing, though. What?

Mind your will.

And how common is postpartum psychosis,
doctor? It affects about one in a

thousand women.

But since Mrs. Fernald had already
suffered a mild version after the birth

her first child, she had a one in three
chance of getting hit with it again. And

it hits much, much harder the second
time.

And what exactly is it? After giving
birth, the mother's body goes through a

series of profound changes.

And sometimes when these changes are
particularly abrupt, the woman can

from an acute hormonal imbalance.

And what are the symptoms of this
imbalance?

Usually just anxiety and depression,
maybe a loss of sleep. In Mrs. Fernald's

case, however, she became psychotic.

And did this psychosis impair my
client's ability to distinguish right

wrong? In my opinion, Mrs. Fernald was
delusional at the time she killed her

baby. She had no idea what she was
doing.

Thank you, Dr. Koenig.

Are you telling this court that she
killed her child because of a bout with

baby blues?

It was more...

than the baby blues, counselor.

It's a depression that becomes so acute,
it parallels schizophrenia.

Doctor, you're talking about a disease
that the National Psychiatrist

Association refuses to even recognize.

It's recognized in England.

The fact that doctors in this country
are slow to acknowledge it doesn't mean

isn't real.

Don't you think it should at least be
listed in the books before we allow

to use it as an excuse to commit murder?

Nothing further.

Mrs. Fernald?

What was it you thought you saw when you
looked into the crib?

He was on fire. Flames seemed to just
engulf him.

Was the fire confined to your son, Mrs.
Fernald?

At first.

Then it was like these fireballs were
shooting all around the room,

me.

What did you do?

Well, for some reason, I kept thinking
it was the oxygen from Clinton's mouth

that was feeding the fire.

So I picked up a pillow and I put it on
his face.

And what happened then?

I held it there.

I pushed it down just as hard as I could
and I held it there.

Do you know for how long?

Until the fire went away.

Until it went away for good.

I have nothing further.

Mr. Capereau?

Ma 'am, is it your testimony that you
were crazy when you killed your son?

I guess so.

But according to your doctor as a
psychiatrist, you're sane now, right?

Yes, it was a temporary illness.

And on the morning of that fateful day,
you cleaned the house, drove your

husband to work, went to the bank, went
shopping, normal everyday stuff, right?

Yes. So what we have here is a sane,
rational person who suddenly takes time

in the middle of the day to be crazy,
kills the kid, and resumes total sanity

just in time for trial. Objection.
Stained.

That remark is stricken.

Mrs. Bernal, isn't it true that you
complained to your husband, your doctor,

your neighbor, Phoebe Snell, that the
baby was keeping you up nights?

What is that supposed to mean? And isn't
it true that you told Mrs. Snell that

taking care of two kids was a real
hardship?

You think I killed Clinton to cut down
on my laundry? You never wanted this

in the first place, did you? That is not
true. You were wearing an IUD at the

time of conception.

You told your friends that this baby was
an accident. Objection, Your Honor.

This is badgering, and it is totally
irrelevant. Your Honor.

I'm just trying to show that she never
wanted this child. Now, before he was

born and not after. I love that boy with
all my heart. Sit down, Mrs. Ferdow. He

was my son. For God's sake, my son. I
nursed him. You killed him.

Objection. I fed him. I bathed him. I
sent him to sleep every single night of

his life. What do you do when you put
him to sleep with a pillow? Stop it.

Objection, Your Honor. Order.

He was my baby.

My little baby. I loved him.

Gentlemen, I'm District Director
Crutchfield.

I have to tell you, the IRS has a little
leg on its face this morning. It seems

as though the DEA had a boat named the
Jack of Diamonds under surveillance. By

the time we got a hold of it, the name
had become the Jack of Hearts.

Bingo, your guy's boat.

Simple case of mistaken identity.

Simple as that. Your client certainly
has our regrets over any inconvenience

this might have caused. Things sometimes
do go a bit awry.

So now what?

We void the assessment and release your
client's boat.

The marshals at the dock will be alerted
that the levee has been lifted.

And all he has to do is show up, right?

All he has to do is show up.

Let's go.

Wait a minute.

You had us come to your office so that
you could tell us that you made a

mistake? Our policy is to conduct all
business in our offices.

Your policy is to come on like a panzer
division. You have created a nation of

furtive cheats. That hasn't been my
experience, sir.

Take a look at this case.

You go after an innocent man.

He has his whole life turned upside
down.

And after the damage has been done,
after you find out that the whole thing

your own foul up, you extend some half
-assed regrets for the inconvenience.

Well, this is not inconvenience. This is
a train wreck. And this man can't even

get his car fare back for going to the
courthouse, can he?

Mike, let's go. We got what we came for.

Mike.

Mr. Fernald, you were at your office on
the day your baby died, is that correct?

I got home, I guess it was 6 .45.

And what happened at that time?

Gina met me at the door, and she had
this strange expression, and I asked her

she was okay, and she said in this dead,
flat voice that Clinton had been on

fire, but she had saved him.

What did you do, Mr. Fernald?

I said, where is he?

And she led me into his room, and...

The way he was just lying there in his
crib, I knew.

Mr. Fernald, did you have any indication
prior to this that something might be

wrong with your wife?

Well, from the time the baby was born,
she just wasn't herself. She was very

nervous all the time, and she cried a
lot.

What, if anything, did you do about
this?

I told her she ought to talk to her
obstetrician. He told her that what she

going through was very normal and that
she should just try to get more sleep.

And what happened after that?

Well, things seemed to get worse.

A few days before Clinton died, I came
home from work and she was lying in bed

sobbing. She said she was in agony and
that there had to be someone who could

help her. And she asked me if I thought
she should see a psychiatrist.

What did you say?

I said that with all the expenses from
the baby and without her paycheck

anymore, we just couldn't afford it.

Thank you, sir.

I have nothing further.

Mr. Fernald, when the police arrived,
didn't you tell them?

Quote, my wife killed our baby. Get her
out of here before I kill her.

Audibly pleased for the record.

Yes. You said that because you were
understandably angry at her, weren't

Because you wanted her punished for the
terrible thing that she'd done.

Maybe I felt that way then, but that was
a long time ago. The truth is, the only

one I'm still blaming here is me.
Nothing, nothing further.

Why do you blame yourself, Mr. Fernald?
Because I didn't pay enough attention to

what she was going through.

If I let her see the psychiatrist like
she wanted to, they would have helped

her.

Our baby would still be alive.

Forgive me, Gina.

At this point, we're pending trial.

Um, is there any word? Yeah, Iris just
called.

Leland's out of surgery.

How is he? Oh, he's doing just fine. In
fact, they're about to wheel him back to

his room any time now.

Did Gracie call?

No.

Arnie, excuse me.

Marshal Shulian's left messages up and
down my call sheet. The wedding's

Saturday. Can you break here, Douglas? I
got a lot on my plate, okay?

Nothing on that plate should be as
important as our million -dollar client.

truly and prenuptial.

Robertson versus Robertson.

Sabret versus Sabret. This nutball is
convinced that her husband's having an

affair with a pig.

So I'm not just sitting on my hands.
Okay, Douglas?

I don't want to have to call Leland in
the hospital to say we're on the brink

losing a major client.

I will get it signed.

Believe me, tomorrow afternoon, no one
gets out of the office until the

agreement is executed.

See that they don't.

Not that I'm complaining or anything,
but who was that old?

I have very good news for my
dermatologist.

No.

You mean you cured?

I'm not itching anymore.

I'm not contagious anymore.

And as of tomorrow, I'm not at a
commission anymore.

You really think one day is going to
make that much... Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

okay.

Well, then, let's do it up right. What
do you say?

Okay.

Romantic dinner and a little dancing.

Mm -hmm.

Who knows where things might lead?

Who knows?

Ladies, gentlemen, our job as trial
attorneys is to get you to identify with

client. so you can see and feel what she
must have felt.

But there is nothing we could ever do or
say that will make you empathize or

even begin to comprehend what was going
through Gina Fernald's mind when she

took the life of her three -month -old
son.

In truth, the only thing I can really
tell you is the one thing that you have

known from the moment this trial began,
that this woman had to be very, very

sick.

The taking of a life goes against every
decent human impulse. I know.

And particularly when that life is so
tiny and so helpless, it is

easy and natural to want to assess
blame.

But before the district attorney gets up
here and asks you to do exactly that, I

beg you to remember that this man...

the father of their little boy, by his
own testimony, does not condemn her.

Do you really think that he could love
and support the woman who took his only

son if he were not convinced that she
was insane at the time?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the
man who knows her better than anyone

in the whole world, her husband,
believes with all his heart.

That she was acting outside herself.

That she was sick.

And that she is a loving wife and a
devoted mother to their little girl.

And even if we cannot get you to see
this tragedy through her eyes when you

back to that jury room, please, before
you think of destroying what is left of

this family, I beg you to try and take a
look at it through his.

Thank you.

Postpartum psychosis.

You know what that is, folks?

That's a theory.

And for every doctor the defense brought
up here to say that it's a real

disease, I called up one to say it
isn't.

And at best, at the very best, the most
we can say about this theory is the

question is still open.

But do you know what's not open, people?

The suggestion that this theory can be
used to justify murder.

Let's close the door on that one real
fast.

No matter how bad her mood was, she had
to know that what she was doing was not

right.

And you should be offended at what
they've tried to get you to do.

They've asked you not only to embrace a
diagnosis that the majority of doctors

refuse to recognize, but also to use it
to excuse the cold -blooded killing.

of an innocent little baby.

Now, I'm no doctor, folks.

Maybe this postpartum thing is a
condition.

Maybe it isn't. If she breaks a few
dishes, okay.

If she shouts an obscenity or two, I can
live with it.

But when she takes a pillow and she
squeezes life out of a helpless infant?

Uh -uh.

Give this thing any medical definition
you want.

But in layman's terms, it's still
murder.

We're in recess until tomorrow, 9 a .m.,
at which time the jury will begin its

deliberation.

I just have a few minor problems with
the agreement. I've highlighted the

specific areas and things.

I gotta tell you, this is really sleazy,
Brynan.

Coming in with this two days before the
wedding, thinking that you can strong

-arm us into wholesale concessions just
for the sake of getting an agreement

signed? Are you imputing bad faith?

All I'm doing is trying to protect my
client.

Protect him?

From what?

From being exploited.

Are you going to let him talk that way
to me, Marshal?

I think that was uncalled for.

How did this happen to us, Marshal? I
thought we loved each other.

We trusted each other.

Everything was perfect until you...
Until you talked to him.

Kimberly, honey, don't cry.

He talked you into this, didn't he? I
can't right now.

Just tell me it wasn't you who thought
you needed to protect yourself from me.

Lawyers worry about everything,
Kimberly.

I'm not worried.

Barney? So what do we need this paper
for?

I mean, we already have the caterer
lined up.

Barney! And the orchestra and the
flowers. I can't. Not now.

You've got to. My whole family's here
from Chicago.

I did it.

I got her.

Arlene. No.

Well, now, I couldn't get the vet's
appointment until tomorrow, but he'll

examine her and then prove everything
I've been saying.

Arlene, you can't take that thing into
my office. Well, he'll be looking for

at my place.

Marshall, what's going on here?

Oh, this is very classy.

Some great law firm you hired, Marshall.

Marshall,

where are you going?

Tell him.

This is the woman I'm going to be with
the rest of my life. And I don't want to

spend any more time anticipating the
worst.

Oh, God. Now, she will eat almost
anything, but she's allergic to wheat

dairy. Sit.

Good girl.

There.

Now, I'm leaving.

I need to get my hair done before the
settlement meeting.

Arlene! Oh, don't worry about it. She'll
probably sleep the rest of the

afternoon. Let me see if I can get her
to the phone.

Hold on, please.

Michael?

Michael, Roman Master's been arrested.

What? Yeah, the bank foreclosed on his
boat, and he punched out the repo man.

Mommy, when are we going to go home?
Pretty soon, honey, pretty soon.

Anything?

Best of luck.

Oh, God, it's been two hours. You said
if they were going to quit, they'd do it

fast. We can't tell, Gina.

I can't. I can't stand this. How much
longer is this going to take? I still

think that they'll be back before the
day's out.

Mommy, I don't want to stay here. I'm
hungry. Elizabeth, please, just... I've

got to get out of here. I'm going to go
for a walk.

You can't. Why?

They can come back any minute, and you
have to be here. Well, I'm trapped.

I just... Honey, can we just go outside
and stay on the steps?

Mommy!

Elizabeth, please.

I want to go home now. Just take her,
please. I just... Please.

Please. Hey, Lizzie, come here.

You stay.

I'll take her. Come on.

They're going to convict me, I can tell.
Gina, there's no use getting all worked

up about this. You said it yourself.

The longer it takes them to deliberate,
the worse our chances are, right? And

you also said anything can happen.
Mommy.

Maybe we could... Can we bargain for the
manslaughter? I mean, maybe we could

just... It's a little late for that.

Mom.

Well, I can't, I can't, I can't just sit
in here anymore. I've got to, uh...

What? I want to go.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Stop it, stop
it, stop it.

Stop it, stop it. Oh, God.

It's okay, it's okay.

Gina?

For God's sake, honey.

Take it easy.

The jury's back, Mr.

Sufwentis.

Okay, it's okay.

It's all right. It's all right. Take it
easy.

It's okay. You're all right. You're all
right.

Board

is

now in session.

All rise.

Will the defendant please rise?

In the matter of people versus Gina
Fernald, we the jury find the defendant

guilty by reason of temporary insanity.

Since there's no indication that the
defendant currently suffers from any

defect or disease, this court makes no
recommendation for treatment or

confinement. The defendant is ordered to
undergo a psychiatric evaluation,

however. after which I'll make a final
ruling with respect to disposition.

This court's adjourned.

How the hell does the bank expect me to
come over $7 ,900 on my boat if the

government won't let me make a living?

Ron, I understand your frustration.

What good does it do to punch the guy
out? Maybe none, but I'll tell you

something. For the first time in a whole
nightmare...

Something makes sense to me. Hell, they
finally nailed me to something I really

did. Now, look, I got to get out of
here. I got things to pick up off the

before they are on it.

Look, I can probably get you out of here
within the hour.

But you might do better to stay in here
for a day and cool it off. I mean, you

got enough problems without having three
or four felonies hanging over your

head. I'm not going to hit anybody else.
Hell, I'm sorry I hit this guy. He was

just there.

Don't make me sit in jail any longer,
Mr. Cusack, okay?

Marilyn Feldman be an item?

Could be. We've had a couple of very
nice, very normal dinners.

What about you, Mr. Handelman?

It's complicated.

Two kids, two divorces, four households,
no privacy.

But so far, it's worth it.

That's good, Abby. I'm happy for you.

Look, Victor.

I have to tell you something that
happened to me a while ago.

What?

I knocked my son down.

In anger.

I'd had a lousy day.

And his father brought him home late.

He wouldn't turn off the TV.

He wouldn't go to bed.

And one word led to another, and then he
spit at me.

He's five years old.

Can you believe that? I mean, where did
he learn that?

Anyway, I guess that he knew he'd gone
way over the line because he tried to

away, but I grabbed him by the arm.

And I smacked his bottom so hard that I
actually knocked him off his feet.

I appreciate what you're telling me,
Abby.

But you didn't kill a baby.

All I am saying is that parents
occasionally smack their children.

Now, I'm not making excuses for it. It's
wrong.

And I would cut off my hand before I do
it again.

But it happens to a lot of us, under a
lot less stress than she was under.

Victor, 12 jurors found her innocent by
reason of temporary insanity.

And what you saw today, take it from a
parent, does not mean that they were

wrong.

Where's Heather?

Where's my pig?

There he is. That proves it. I mean,
that is all he cares about, that four

-legged slut.

For God's sake, Arlene, I have two
tapings this afternoon.

We're on to you, you sicko. You know,
I've told him all about it.

Oh, please, Arlene, don't embarrass
yourself. She's been under a doctor's

Are you going to sit there and deny that
I walked in on you in bed with that

cow? You went off your medication again,
didn't you?

You're in love with her. Now come on,
admit it.

I don't deny that I adore that little
animal.

It's my business.

I raise him, I train him. Even with the
TV show and all the success it's brought

us, I'm still just an old son of a
farmer.

You're a pig -loving pervert.

It's been especially hard on her.

You won't get away with this, you know.
I'll talk.

I'll tell the world about you.

Advise her. If she goes anywhere with
that story, we'll slap a slander suit on

her so fast her head will spin.

Well?

Don't just sit there. Defend me.

Oh, God.

Excuse me a minute.

You know the craziest thing? I don't
even blame you. For your information,

Marshal Shulian just called.

He's fired up. Oh, God.

We'll just have to wait and see what the
aftershocks will be.

I'll call.

I'll apologize.

Don't go near the situation.

You've done quite enough already.

You ought to be committed.

Maybe you're not aware of the gravity of
this situation.

That animal is worth over $30 ,000.

We have reason to believe that your
client is involved in a major theft.

If you are withholding information with
respect to that pig's whereabouts, we

are prepared to name you as an
accessory.

The pig is here.

I'll have her brought out.

Whose payroll are you on? Marlene.

That's it? You are fired.

You know something?

You can keep your precious pig.

I hope you'll have years of happiness
together.

My client would like to see his pig now.

Here.

There's my sweetheart.

There's my little girl.

I hope it was okay to lock her up in the
janitor's closet.

Did you miss me?

There's my... My little girl, did you
miss me? Oh, yes, I did.

Now tell the truth.

Is she a doll or what?

I guess the new owners will name her
something else.

Hell, if I named her something else,
she'd still be mine. You believe that?

Here.

What's this?

$7 ,900.

Your money.

My money.

I can't take charity. I start that now,
I just crack right up.

It's not charity.

You take it off the top of the award
you're going to get from your lawsuit

the IRS.

Forget it. That'll take years.

Look, Ron, I want to tell you something
about lawyers, okay?

We take on a case, we argue passionately
for whoever happens to be paying the

bill. Win, lose, or draw, we walk away.

Except every once in a while, you want
to put your money where your mouth is.

Mr. Cusack, look, this is important to
me. Now, if you want, we can draw up

papers, figure out a payment schedule.

But think of it as an investment.

If you wanted to make an investment, you
could do a hell of a lot better than

this.

All right, don't think of it as an
investment.

Take it for what it is.

Okay.

I will.

Don't call me Mr. Kruzak anymore, all
right? My name's Mike.

Okay, Mike.

So we'll go fishing sometime, huh?

Stuart, I want to say something.

What?

I don't know if I know how to say this.

What is it?

Stuart, do you know anything about
humpback whales?

Humpback whales spend their entire lives
searching the seas, singing sad

whale songs, looking for their one true
mate.

The thought of that always used to make
me cry.

I guess because I kind of felt like
that.

The only thing is, I never thought I'd
find mine in this huge,

huge sea.

You crying, then?

Stuart, I'm so happy.

I never thought that I could love anyone
so much.

I'll be so happy in my whole life.

You know what today is?

It's my six -month anniversary.

Really?

Oh,

Stuart, I didn't get you anything.

It's okay.

Open it up.

Oh, Stuart, it's beautiful.

Marry you?

Yes.

Oh,

Stuart, this is so exciting.

We'll have to set a date.

How about tonight?

Tonight? Yeah, fly to Las Vegas.

Las Vegas?

Well, you said I got to pick the next
vacation, right?

Oh, Stuart, come on. You can't just run
off and do these.

You have to plan these things.

No, you don't.

You got to feel these things.

You love me.

God knows I love you.

I don't want to wait. I want to do it.

I just don't want to give you a chance
to plan yourself out of it, you know?

Stuart, this is crazy.

Yeah, let's be crazy. Come on.

Oh,

boy.

You know, when your mommy gives you a
great big cold... Hi, Candy.

It's Arnie.

No message, just that I was thinking
about you. And if you're coming in the

half hour, give me a call. I'm at work.

They'll have some dinner or something.

Bye -bye.

Anybody know what kind of a sound a cow
makes?

Oh,

I rocks.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Oh, sure, sure. Great.

And one day I've lost a million -dollar
client, plus the farmer's wife fired me,

plus I'm still a raw nerve ending over
Lucinda, and for the last half hour I've

been thinking about suicide. But other
than that,

fine.

Oh, Arnie.

Don't worry.

Windows don't open anyway.

Would it help to talk about it?

I was just going to go home, but if you
want, I could stay.

Where's Leon tonight?

He's in Chicago on business.

Do you remember that night I came over
to your house and we had tomato soup and

we snuggled up and we watched TV?

Yeah. Well, how about it? We could stop
off at 7 -Eleven, pick up a big box of

graham crackers and maybe some ice
cream.

I don't think so, Arnie.

Leon's supposed to call.

I don't think so.

You're right.

I guess that was kind of neurotic.

Not to mention family.

I should get going.

Are you going to be all right?

Yeah, yeah.

I still got a load of paperwork I might
as well finish up.

Have a good weekend.

Thanks, Rox.

You too You

know

when your mommy gives you a great big
cold frosty glass of milk

Well, that's where it comes from.

Oh, and delicious ice cream.

Good evening, Wedding Chapel.

I'm sorry, Reverend Sibley's performing
a wedding right now.

No, the Reverend can't go to your hotel
room. You have to come in.

Come on. Come on, Sharon. Come on.

Thank you.

Reverend Sibley will be with you any
minute now. You'll be in and out by

midnight, I swear.

That's great, thanks.

You know,

maybe this wasn't such a hot idea after
all.

I mean, it didn't sound so bad in a
Beverly Hills restaurant with half a

of champagne inside me. But here... I
mean... What's this place?

Not exactly the Bel Air Hotel.

And you want to have a second ceremony
at the Bel Air Hotel?

Actually, what I was thinking...

What do we need a ceremony for, anyway?

Because we love each other.

And we want to be committed to each
other.

I don't need a piece of paper for that,
Stuart.

This has

got to be something we both want to do.
If you don't want to do it... It's not

that I don't want to do it, Stuart. It's
just... Stuart, this is terrifying.

By midnight.

If I don't get out of here first.

I'm going to be Mrs. Stuart Markowitz
for the rest of my life.

That's pretty terrifying, huh?

Look, would you settle for 50 years with
a renewable option for another 25?

All right, but it's a run.

This is supposed to be the most
important moment of our lives.

I want the ceremony to be beautiful and
moving.

Something we'll always remember.

Mr. Markowitz, ma 'am? It's, uh, Mark...
My good friends.

We are here on this happy occasion to
unite this fine young people in a state

holy matrimony.

But before we do, I have just a few
pieces of advice for the happy couple.

In the words of the king, don't be
cruel.

Now, he's stuck on you now, pretty lady.

But if you treat him like a hound dog,
it's return to sender.

And you, you love her tender, you
understand?

You bring that burning love home every
night to this good woman, or as sure as

king had hits.

You'll find yourself all alone in
Heartbreak Hotel.

If you'd just take the lovely lady's
hand in your hand, Mr. Moskowitz.

Let's do it.

I figured I'd find you here.

Are you back for good?

Yes.

With me?

If you'll have me.

I haven't figured everything out yet.

Except being away from you.

Wasn't the answer.

I love you so much, Mickey.

I don't ever want to be away from you
again.

Okay?