Original subtitles

Previously on L .A. Law.

I don't take computer fraud lightly, Counselor.

Your client accessed the records of the telephone company and deleted all his

friend's phone bills.

That young man is in love with you.

Come on.

I probably shouldn't say this.

Don't hate me for it.

I think I love you.

Mr. Cromwell, it's tragic that the pilot and those five passengers died, and I

don't doubt that we all sympathize with their families.

But the fact remains this tragedy was not your fault.

I'm very attracted to you.

I should tell you, George, that I'm involved with someone.

Look, I'm trying not to overreact at this or anything, but I... I'm jealous

this guy.

Your Honor, I have reason to believe that one of my witnesses has lied on the

stand. You're no virgin, Mr. Cusack.

Witnesses lie on the stand every day.

I'm unwilling to proceed, Your Honor.

You're in contempt of court.

Bailiff, take Mr. Cusack into custody.

get started?

Who's got a tan Bjork with California plate number 1 -E -O -H -1 -O -1?

Um, that's me, Your Honor.

Uh, is there something wrong? You might say that. You're parked in my spot.

Well, what are you looking at me for? You're holding up a courtroom full of

people. Go and move your car.

Stan, put my car where it's supposed to be.

Clerk, call the first case.

Kuzak versus Superior Court.

Be seated.

I have a feeling I know why you're here, Leland. You are no doubt going to

demonstrate to me the error of my ways as you've done so many times in the

Am I right?

All right, Your Honor.

I have a writ from the Court of Appeals ordering you to instruct the jailer to

release Michael Cusack forthwith.

Well, now, Mackenzie Brackman certainly takes care of his people.

Okay. You've got your Mr. Cusack back.

He might benefit from your tutelage on proper conduct of a criminal trial.

And since I don't recall your ever having been reticent about imparting

wisdom to others, I'm sure that's just what he received.

As of right now, I'm unaware of any misconduct on Mr. Cusack's part.

Are you saying I exceeded my authority in some way? Are you implying that I was

in error by punishing Mr. Cusack for contempt?

I believe the Court of Appeals has spoken on that issue, Your Honor.

Does this writ say anywhere that I was in error?

I take that to be the import of it.

Leland, you're a wizard of ambiguity, you know that?

You can turn a phrase that creeps on cat feet up to the edge of being definite,

then turns and disappears without leaving a trace.

Now, I'm going to do something that I dare say no one has ever done to you

before. I'm going to ask you a question.

And if you give me anything other than a one -word answer, the two possible

choices being yes and no, I'm going to cite you for contempt of court, or

someone else is going to have to come down here and get the both of you out.

Now, my question is, does this writ say anywhere that I was an error?

Then what we have is a case of the Court of Appeals exercising their authority

differently than I exercise mine.

This isn't the first time that's happened. I'm sure it won't be the last.

Release Cusack.

It's always a pleasure to see you, Leland.

Take the day, Hal.

He's all yours.

Well, the court officer instructs the gentleman who's reading his newspaper

this isn't a bus station.

Michael, how do you feel?

You know how when American hostages are released, they usually take them to a U

.S. Air Force base in West Germany so they can get checked out, sort of

decompressed before going home?

Uh -huh. Well, what I need right now is for us to go to a comfortable,

professionally run hotel.

Take ourselves a room, order up a bunch of room service so I can get checked

out, and then undergo a concentrated regimen of physiological rehabilitation.

Okay.

Robert.

Gracie.

Gracie, were you faithful to me while I was in prison?

I tried, Mickey, but...

Two days is an awful long time.

Hey, where were you?

Analyzing some data. You don't want to be late to a sentencing hearing, Andrew.

It sends out the wrong kind of message.

Yeah, but this wasn't just any data. I mean, this was all completing a crash

course in Judge John Englander.

I don't follow. Based on a correlation of incidence and variance analysis, I

expect to be sentenced to six months summary probation and 80 hours of

service. Yeah, well, I hope you're right, but I think you could be looking

year. No way.

I plotted the judge's sentencing record against the standard deviation curve.

It's an X -Y kind of thing. Now, the projection is based upon a defendant who

a white male, age 17 to 22, from a middle to upper middle income group with

prior conviction and a felony which entailed no violence.

What about for non -white?

Well, if you're talking about the Ortega case, I'd be concerned.

If you want, I can do an analysis for you.

And so, based on a careful examination of the report and the recommendation

submitted to me, and based on the fact that this is a first offense, and the

defendant appears to be keeping to the straight and narrow, I believe no

would be served by incarceration.

Instead, I sentence the defendant to under -putting them.

To six -month summary probation and 80 hours community service.

Don't disappoint me, young man.

That's fine. We'll see you at 4 o 'clock. Thank you.

Old boy. Douglas, what happened?

I broke my ankle playing racquetball.

Here, let me help you. That's quite all right.

I've got to start getting used to these things.

The doctor says I'll be hobbling around for the next six weeks.

Are you in a lot of pain?

What do you think?

Thanks, Victor.

And how is our jailbird?

Does his absence this morning mean we failed in securing his release from the

pokey? He's out, and he's taking the day. Well, as soon as he's recuperated,

want him to jump this Cromwell situation.

Actually, Douglas, I don't think we're going to need him. In all deference to

your good labors in this matter, trial date will be upon us sooner than we

think, and we need to bring our best litigator up to speed. I'm on top of it,

Douglas. George Cromwell trusts me. We have an excellent rapport.

And in my opinion, he'd object to having another litigator brought in this deep

in the case.

Don't you think you're being a little proprietary, Ann?

I mean, I think that's something for George Cromwell to decide, don't you

Excuse me?

I just think that if Michael has his decks cleared, we should jump into the

fray. If Ann feels confident and in control of her case, I think we should

her alone.

Thank you, Leland.

People versus Ortega.

Yeah, my client's charged with knocking over a bar. People versus Putnam.

Six months summary probation and community service.

As an aside, my compliments to the young genius. Our phone system is finally

working the way it's supposed to.

Richard's in a state.

Notice of elections filed.

Morning.

Mr. Heidegger.

I hope we didn't drag you out of bed.

Is there a problem?

I didn't have any appointments this morning.

And why is that?

Nobody gave me any.

And that's your understanding of the job description?

Dribbling your time away like a doofus?

collecting in excess of $1 ,000 a week, waiting for someone to throw busy work

your way? Hey, I'm sorry.

Well, if there's nothing more, we're adjourned.

That's me.

I have some papers for you. My assistant can see you're provided with the

necessary acknowledgement of service.

No good, Chief. This goes to you direct.

The summons.

Hmm?

I'm sorry.

I was out of line.

Definitely way out of line. I have no right stepping on your professional life

like that.

I really appreciate your recognizing that, Stuart.

Ann.

Ann.

I know this isn't very cool of me to admit or anything, but I've just become

like a basket case ever since you got involved with this guy.

Stuart, there is no involvement.

And maybe we can talk later, but right now, if you'll excuse me, I have a

meeting to prepare for.

Arnold.

Just so you know, I didn't start it.

Oh, boy.

Let the chips fall where they may.

I didn't plan it.

I didn't mean for it to happen.

But now that it has, now that Sheila's taken the first step, so be it. What

brought this on?

She found out I was having an affair.

You? The truth is, I've been having a little fling with a low -impact aerobics

instructor from Playa del Rey. We were on our way to her apartment when the

little vixen said something particularly provocative.

I tried to take a shortcut to her front door, and... I didn't break my ankle

playing rocketball.

I broke it hurtling a hedge.

She took me to the hospital, and some idiot in the billing department called

confirm my insurance coverage.

Sheila came racing down to the emergency room and found Shannon holding my hand.

How committed is she to the idea of divorce?

Who cares?

I just as soon hold her to it.

That's now, Douglas.

But when you've had a chance to think about it a little, I'm sure you'll

divorce is a pretty drastic solution to any problems you and Sheila are having.

And I think a drastic solution may be just what the doctor ordered.

17 years of trudging home to Sheila night after night.

By 9 o 'clock, we've eaten. The small talk's over. She's in bed.

I've had a stiff belt of Maalox, and I'm drowsing on the living room couch,

still bloated from dinner.

I'm looking to cut loose a little.

up the old address book.

I want to see 20 girls naked in the coming year.

I guess I want to live the life of Becker.

I guess I have had my share.

You've had mine as well.

Trust me, it's not always the thrill you think it is.

I'd like to be the judge of that.

Look, Douglas, you can do whatever you want, but I've got to tell you, a

will not be painless.

Besides the emotional anguish which you're going to go through, and believe

you will go through it, Sheila is in a position to wreak absolute havoc with

this firm.

You think she'd go after the partnership?

Count on it. You can also count on the probability of a claim on all future

earnings if she can show a substantial contribution to your legal education.

Oh, my God.

That's horrible.

It's not a pretty picture.

So you think we're being a little precipitous?

After 17 years, I don't think one little deep knee bend with an aerobics

instructor is reason for divorce. No.

It's easy for you to say. Look.

Let me arrange a conference with Sheila and her attorney with the idea of maybe

reconciling your differences.

And if we need to, we'll play hardball later on.

I leave it up to you to guide me, Arnold.

How's the decompression coming?

Decompression largely complete.

Serenity's sitting in.

Michael, just what happened to you in jail this weekend?

A lot.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm back from 18 years in Siberia, but it

a hell of an experience.

Lying there on a cot, guys yelling, bars clanging.

I got to see the world through Sid Hershberg's eyes.

I actually began to feel the despair that he felt.

How he had to kill himself to get out of his own prison. How I had to go to

prison to find out and understand how really free I am.

So we're done with Sid now?

Sid's history? We can get on with our lives?

Yeah. Good.

Because all this stuff about seeing the world through Sid's eyes scares the poo

out of me.

If Sid's eyes saw what mine do now, they would never have seen the

world the way they did.

You're the best thing that ever happened.

And thank him for showing me how lucky I am to have you.

Then here's to Sid.

To Sid.

Can you hold a moment?

Yes, may I help you?

Oh, Leland.

I'll let me transfer you. Morris.

Got a few minutes for an old classmate? Oh, yeah. What brings you here?

Well, for starters, I'd like to apologize for my behavior, which I know

bit rash.

Incarcerating an attorney without granting a stay is more than a bit rash.

Perhaps.

But if my judgment was clouded, Leland, it's just that my job has rendered me a

little short of temper lately.

I'm getting out.

What?

After some 25 years on the bench?

There's no satisfaction anymore.

What few rewards there are don't seem to be particularly sustaining.

When you walked into my courtroom this morning, I suddenly saw all the things

that had passed me by, including the money I must have paid.

Well, I'm sure you'll have no trouble.

The firms in town will start a feeding frenzy over a superior court judge.

Actually, Leland, I'm here to give you first bite.

You want to work here?

I think you know that I wouldn't be approaching you if I wasn't damn certain

that I had a contribution to make.

I have no doubt about that, but we are a very small firm.

And I can help you grow.

I've made a lot of connections in my years, Leland.

I can be very valuable.

Well, naturally, this is something I'd have to take up with the other partners.

Oh, I understand completely.

And if it helps in any way, you could tell Mike Cusack I'll be willing to have

my name come after his.

You could also tell him I'm sorry.

I'll pass that on.

Hi. Oh, hi, Andrew.

How'd it go?

Unsupervised probation and some community service.

Oh, great.

So actually, what I was thinking, what I was hoping, I'd like you to have dinner

with me tomorrow.

Oh, I don't know.

Just to celebrate.

Um, you know, I already made the reservation.

Please.

Well... Do you like French food? You'll love this place.

I'll pick you up at 7 .30, okay?

Okay.

Great. That's great.

Some enchanted evening.

Stop. What was I supposed to do?

And the bar was closed at this time.

Well, I didn't think anybody was there until I'd come out the kitchen and see

the cash register busted open.

And that guy running away with the money.

Let the record reflect that the witness has again indicated the defendant,

Francisco Ortega, your witness.

Thank you.

When the police arrived, you told them that you couldn't identify the suspect,

didn't you?

Well, I didn't think I could until I saw him in the lineup.

Did you know, sir, that Mr. Ortega was sitting on a stool in your bar two

before the robbery?

I didn't know that until a district attorney told me.

Tell me something, Mr. Simpson.

If you were serving a guy for a three -hour period, and then you saw him two

nights later, he'd look familiar, wouldn't he?

Objection. Hypothetical.

Overruled. Isn't it possible, sir, that you recognized my client because he was

the customer in your bar? That when you saw him in the lineup, the only thing

that triggered in your mind was that you had seen him before?

He's the man I saw with the money.

The kitchen door and the exit are at opposite ends.

If he was running away when you first came in, you couldn't see his face. I

him from the side. The side? He was headed in the opposite direction. You

his back.

I had an angle from the side.

And you testified that when you first saw him... He was just at the door. So

best, we are talking about a two or three second look from the side.

Something like that.

Mr. Simpson, I have no doubt that you are an honest man.

I want you to tell me if the following scenario is possible.

Okay? Just if it's possible.

You walk into a room and you see a man running out the door.

You really don't get a good look at his face. It's all happening so fast.

The police come and you tell them that you really are not going to be able to

identify who did it.

But when they take you down to the station, they show you a face that you

seen before.

And you say to yourself, that must be him.

It's possible, isn't it, Mr. Simpson?

Anything's possible.

Thank you, sir.

No further questions.

Your Honor, this is outrageous. Counsel is asking for summary judgment when

there are substantial questions of material fact.

I'm asking for judgment only on the second and third causes of action, Your

Honor, which go to design defect only. Which is the big part of our case.

Counselor, so big he didn't come up with a single fact in support of it. Miss

Kelsey. So big they didn't file any affidavits or exhibits which would

anything defective in that plane. I must agree, Mr. McLeish, that the evidence

in support of the allegations contained in the second and third causes of action

is rather thin.

Have you got anything else?

Your Honor, I have submitted numerous affidavits which go to the sophisticated

nature of the craft.

Such sophistication rendering it virtually inoperable by the deceased.

Which goes only to the negligence theory in the first cause of action, Your

Honor, and has nothing whatever to do with the question of design defect.

She's got you, sir. I'm going to sustain you on the first cause of action. But

as to the second and third, there is simply no genuine issue of material

I disagree.

Judgment in favor of defendant as to the second and third causes of action.

Counsel for both sides should prepare to proceed to trial on the first cause of

action only.

Thank you both.

Brilliant.

I still can't believe it. You were just great.

Yes, that'll be fine, thank you.

I felt pretty good. You were better than that.

You were all the champion I could have wanted.

Well, we haven't won yet.

That's all right.

Your argument alone deserves a celebration.

At least it had the desired effect.

Speaking of which, I'd like to tell you the effect that watching you in action

had on me.

I intend to involve Mackenzie Brackman in the affairs of Cromwell Aviation more

than I originally intended.

See, we're planning an acquisition next year, and I've been told that there's a

possibility we could be involved in some antitrust problems.

I'd like it if you would navigate.

Well, there are a couple of people at the firm with very solid antitrust

experience.

Ann, I'd like you to know something.

As far as I'm concerned, Mackenzie Brackman, well, it's you.

you shouldn't take your lawyer out like this before the case is over i'm glad i

don't have to be in court in the morning i'm sure you do just fine you show a

lot of faith in me i've got to say that complete faith it's appreciated

it's well earned

Thank you for dinner.

Thank you for the company.

When were you planning on saying something to me?

Around the time the two of you took a long weekend together in Paris?

Stuart, could we possibly do this later?

Save the continuances for Cordain, okay?

Okay, Stuart.

There's obviously a series of burning questions that you're afraid to ask, so

let me answer them.

Yes, he does have a romantic interest in me. No, that doesn't bother me

particularly.

And no, I haven't slept with him.

So far.

You gonna sleep with him in the future?

You know, the fact that you feel compelled to ask that question means

have a problem, you and I.

But the problem isn't George Cromwell.

No.

No, George Cromwell is just the guy that you kissed last night.

What? I saw you, Ann.

You spied on me?

I started out just waiting.

Waiting for what?

Waiting for you to come home.

You knew I went out to dinner with him.

And does dinner necessarily entail coming home drunk?

Forgive me, Ann. The last time I saw you, that plow, you went to bed with me

you didn't even remember it. I will not be made to feel like a slut because I

had dinner with my client.

And I will not tolerate your spying on me.

I'm jealous, Ann.

Forgive me.

I'm jealous. Is that a big sin where you come from?

You're more than jealous.

The problem you have with George Cromwell is entirely in your mind.

If he didn't exist, you'd think of something else.

Wrong.

Because you could have shut him down.

And you didn't.

You let him wonder.

And you let him hope.

You let a man.

You let him kiss you.

What was I supposed to do, Stuart?

Punch out his lights?

Stop smothering me.

We have gone from friendship to courtship to total domesticity so fast I

like I can't breathe.

You are the sweetest man that I've ever met, Stuart.

But you are also the neediest.

Well, maybe you need somebody a little less needy.

Now, I'd like to report happily that his basketball season is over.

Mr. Heidegger has been prevailed upon to tender his long overdue resignation.

So, if there's nothing more, Arnold and I are expected across town.

I have one more piece of business.

Judge Morris Hood of Superior Court has approached me with the news that he's

looking to retire from the bench and he'd like to join this firm.

Are you kidding?

Wait a minute.

This is the same guy that threw Mike in the slam?

Yeah, Morris and I have known each other since law school. He is a seasoned

jurist. And there's no doubt he can make a contribution here.

Wait a minute. Are you telling us that you've already invited him? I told him

that I would air it with the members of the firm.

So I now throw it open to you.

Absolutely not.

Quite apart from the personality conflicts which will inevitably result.

The fact is, this firm needs more foot soldiers.

The last thing we need is another general.

Yeah, I agree. I think we ought to reject him simply out of solidarity to

Besides which, this is definitely not the time, earnings -wise, to take on

another profit participant.

What are your feelings about it, Leland?

At the present, I would rather not say.

Whatever you do say can and will be used against you by somebody sometime.

You brought it up. You've got to have feelings one way or the other.

Knowing him for as long as you have, you're in the best position to guide us,

Leland.

I think that's exactly what he's doing, Douglas.

Well, Morris, surely you can understand that I'm under serious constraints here.

What my firm is in need of is associates, not partners.

That's just a hard economic fact.

Why didn't you offer me a position as an associate in that case?

Oh, come on. Why not?

Were you afraid I'd accept?

I'm no more about to become your employer than you are mine.

If you and I were to have an association, I wouldn't think of doing

anything other than a partnership basis.

Oh, the ways that exist for telling someone no. The ways in which I've heard

My hands are tied, Morris.

I wish it had been up to me. I've got bigger things in mind for you, Morris.

Play ball on this one, Morris. There's a federal judge in it for you.

If you were coming in at any other time, I'm sure the others could have been

persuaded. If you wanted me, you could have done it now.

But once you decided against me, it was a dead issue as far as anyone else was

concerned. Let's face it, Leland.

You're afraid of the competition a presence like mine would generate.

I'm not afraid of competition, Morris.

The truth is, I have no reason to expect your temperament as attorney to be any

more to my liking than your temperament as a judge.

But I've watched kids out of school two, three years come before me making more

money than I'll ever see. You're damn right my temperament can get a little

nasty. Oh, damn it. There's more to this than money.

Well, one time there was.

My ambition ran to politics.

But when the Democrats lost the State House in 66, that ambition became a

full of mementos and a foul cabinet full of failure that sits next to the water

heater in my basement.

They gave me a parking place next to the courthouse. They let me sit on the dais

at dinners, but they told me Superior Court is as far as I can go.

Now, I don't care if it doesn't live up to your lofty ideals, ideals you can so

easily afford to indulge in.

My dreams have been broken. What I want is the money.

That's mine.

I realize that an expensive lunch is only proper form for telling someone

thanks, but no thanks.

And while I don't want to appear ungracious or unappreciative of the

and the largesse, thanks, but no thanks.

This way, gentlemen.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Lisa.

Where's Alvin? I'll be handling the preliminary data of the case.

I didn't even know that you worked here.

Shall we get started?

I read a copy of your settlement offer, and I was wondering if I could take a

look at your copy.

Why do you want to see our copy?

I think there may be some pages missing for a moment.

Pages missing?

Yes, I didn't see anything in there about the partnership.

I assumed it was a clerical error.

What were you expecting to see about the partnership, Lisa?

Mr. Brackman is a managing partner with vested interests in all income earned by

your firm.

Before we even begin serious discussions, I need to see financial

going back nine years or co -terminus with his being made partner.

Don't you think that might be a little premature?

Particularly in light of the fact that Mr. Brackman feels extreme remorse about

this entire matter.

I would very much like to explore the possibility of a reconciliation with

Brackman, in spite of the circumstances.

Nice to see you, Sheila. I have advised my client to resist any attempt at

reconciliation. Have you advised your client as well of the fact that you have

personal axe to grind with me?

Mr. Becker must be referring to an extremely brief romantic incident in

were both involved.

You apparently mistake ambition for romance.

But that's not surprising.

Coming from someone whose only passion is scrambling up on the backs of others.

How would you know what my passion is? I never displayed any of it to you.

Oh, what was it?

Make -believe?

Bad or pity.

There's something so desperate about you, Becker. The way you always fuss

your clothes and your car and your condo. Who's more desperate than you,

Oh, you're fairly young now, but in a few years you're going to be clutching

a box of saltines late at night trying to figure out how it is that you managed

to wind up so all alone.

And where will you be, I wonder?

Probably tucked in bed somewhere with the largest collection of pornographic

videotapes in West L .A. You'll lull yourself to sleep with the images of

strangers on the screen.

Young ones, Arnie. The younger, the better. And you watching them, fat,

out, and bald.

Excuse me.

Whose divorce is this?

Sheila, I can't help feeling that this is getting away from us.

That's what usually happens when you start trying to jump over another

bushes. I had an affair.

These things happen.

I have no doubt that there are consequences to that.

You better believe it, mister.

I'm willing to try to patch things up.

Well, maybe I'm not.

And it has nothing to do with this affair, Douglas.

You've had affairs, I've had affairs. It runs deeper than that.

You've had affairs?

What kind of affairs have you had?

They didn't amount to much. The point is, I'm more than just a housewife or a

-signer. I need attention.

I just need to get this straight in my mind.

Have you had multiple affairs?

Was it once?

Was it someone I know?

It was the pool man, okay?

Angelo? Tony.

The new pool man.

Oh, my God.

Look. You both had a little extracurricular activity.

Who else? The kitchen contractor?

The roofer? Oh, my God, what's his name? The tenant pro.

Bjorn.

People, please, look. The important thing here is not what you've done

the bonds of your marriage, but what you've built within the marriage.

Oh, please.

A home, a family, a life.

I can't stand the thought of you with another man.

I thought we were getting a divorce here.

There's no one who wants you more than I.

Take me back, Sheila.

Please.

Douglas, are you begging me?

Yes.

All right.

Mrs. Fuentes, Mr. Oley, having considered your closing arguments and

heard the testimony adduced at three days of trial, including that of an

eyewitness, I found to be substantially credible.

I now find the defendant, Francisco Ortega, guilty of robbery of the first

degree.

Sentencing set forever the 9th, 10 a .m.

Your Honor, at this time, I move for a new trial and the disqualification of

Your Honor from this case.

On what grounds?

Bigotry, Your Honor.

This statistical analysis demonstrates a clear -cut racist predisposition based

on Your Honor's conviction and sentencing record over the years.

That's outrageous.

Your Honor's conviction rate in non -jury trials for non -white defendants

the prosecution has the white eyewitness is nearly six times as great as when

the defendant is white or the eyewitness is non -white.

This includes Your Honor's time on the municipal as well as the superior

and it clearly demonstrates that Your Honor's racism has served to deny my

client a fair trial.

I don't know what all this is, Counselor, but I'll tell you, you're way

line. Your Honor, I am not trying to provoke or offend you, but the fact

that these statistics... Don't stand there calling me a racist and pretend

you're not trying to provoke or offend me.

I sit here very much offended, Mr. Fuentes.

Shall I take this to be a denial of my motion, sir? Take it as a personal

response to your accusation.

I'll respond to my official capacity at a later date. In the meantime, this

motion is taken under advisement.

May I help you? I have a reservation for two in the name of Putnam.

Putnam.

Putnam. Putnam.

Thank you.

Right this way if you

Enjoy

your dinner How

much he's posted those guys I've never really known Andrew

maybe five dollars really Yeah, I wish I'd known I just gave him two.

It's alright really choose fine

I hope you're right.

You don't think I should just go over and give him... No.

Definitely not.

It's not a big thing.

Good evening.

Would you care for anything from the bar?

Yes, we'd like a bottle of Dom Perignon, please.

Chill.

So, this must be a tremendous weight off your shoulders.

It is. I intend to put that all behind me.

I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I wonder if I might see some

that would verify your age. My age?

Actually, gentlemen, that's quite a compliment. I appreciate it.

You know, it's just a thing of an ID.

Why don't I just order the champagne?

If your companion is underage, we cannot permit him to drink on the premises.

I understand.

It'll just be for me.

Yeah, bring the young man a soft drink.

Well, don't you look exceptionally alluring this morning.

Thank you.

What? Oh, you can always tell with a woman.

The whites of her eyes get totally clear.

That's really dumb, Arnie.

Tell me what happened.

No.

How was it? It's none of your business, Arnie. Oh, come on, Rock. Share.

No.

And don't ask me again.

Yes. Come on in.

I've been reading through your motion papers.

I must say I'm really stunned.

I was just going by the numbers, Your Honor. Numbers are a funny thing,

Counselor. Do you want to hear some interesting numbers about Victor

When you worked in the public defender's office...

You were nine times more likely to seek a trial when the defendant was of

Hispanic descent than when he was either black or white.

My clients happen to be primarily Hispanic.

Numbers of Hispanics are slightly less than twice the number of blacks and

whites.

The number of hours you logged per case shows a distinct predisposition towards

favoring clients with Hispanic surnames. Not unlike your present client, I might

add. With all due respect...

You don't know the first thing about the cases that I handled. And just how much

do you know about the cases I handled?

Nothing at all.

But I cannot ignore a computer analysis of your record on the bench when there

appears to be a good chance that my client was convicted because he is a

Chicano. Judges don't judge by computer, Mr. Sifuentes.

We judge with our hearts and minds.

An experience.

I don't think of myself as a bigot any more than you think of yourself as one.

Nevertheless, I'm granting your motion.

These numbers at least entitle your client to the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you, Your Honor.

My reputation is that of a liberal counselor.

I have supported various civil rights causes over the years because my sense

decency told me they were worthy of support.

But now you come along with this frankly chilling bit of news that for all my

professed liberalism, I've in fact been sending men to prison at least in part

because of the color of their skin.

That is not something I can ignore.

I will think long and hard on this.

Hope you do the same.

Tell him I'll call him back.

He's been arrested.

Hold him on.

I really hate your guts, Becker.

I don't hate yours, Lisa.

You didn't give a damn about saving that marriage. You just wanted to humiliate

me all over again.

Not true.

I pride myself in knowing what the client really wants, delivering it.

Humiliating you was just a bonus.

You don't know what I had to do to get Cronus to let me handle that case.

I have a pretty good idea.

No, see, you don't.

I lost one job that way. I'm not about to lose another.

Oh, you're really something, Arnie.

You stabbed me in the back.

You poisoned this entire firm against me, and then you saw to it that I didn't

get hired at a time when I really needed a job.

And all because you decided it would be awkward to work in the same office with

a girl you had an affair with.

Well, it wouldn't have had to be awkward at all.

In fact, I could have easily forgotten that it ever happened.

That was the whole problem.

I couldn't have.

When I found out that was just another rung on the ladder for you, Lisa, it

me.

Look, will you do me something?

I'm not the hard guy you think I am. Oh, you lying sack.

Hey, I'm a sucker for pretty girls' affection. And when I find out that I've

been had, sometimes, yeah, I can get a little ugly. Trying to get ahead of

someone online at the post office is a little ugly.

What you did to me was despicable.

You seem to forget that as a partner in this firm, I have an obligation to

assist my colleagues in making informed decisions about who we hire and who we

don't. And having a first -year associate who has shown a...

pronounced willingness to sleep around as a method of career advancement is not

in the best interest of this firm.

Besides, you seem to have landed on your feet.

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Kind of makes you curious about what a second go -round would be like, doesn't

it?

No.

Why? Because I'm a lawyer in my own right?

Because I have a bright future at the firm I'm with?

Because the uncertainty of my getting hired or not getting hired isn't hanging

over us anymore.

I just don't think that this is appropriate right now, Lisa.

No, I bet you don't.

It isn't nearly sorted enough for Arnold Becker, is it?

No slave trade, no trap doors, no ice pick through the heart.

Nothing to gain except the pure turn -on of it all.

And that's no turn -on at all for Arnold Becker, is it?

I don't know.

But if you want to try, come on, let's try.

Stop it. What's the matter, kid? Not sorted enough for you?

I guess not.

The tragedy of this is, I'm just like you.

Arnold Becker with a pair of jugs.

Excuse me, sir. I'm Judge Hood's attorney.

Well, you'll have to wait out here until these two are being processed.

Wait.

Address?

1139 South Crest West, Los Angeles.

Charge with one count, PC -93.

Receiving a bribe by a judicial officer.

Have you read him his rights?

Yeah, he's been read and he understands them all right.

All right, Judge, I'm going to fingerprint you now, so just extend your

hand, relax your fingers, and I'll do the rest.