Original subtitles

Ed,

pay attention.

Here, I see the ninth hole, with a jump over the water and a spiral twist to the

hole. Now, where to put the cart rentals?

Devour stinky socks.

Give me those socks.

Why, you!

I think I've done it!

Double D!

Donut! Whoa!

Can I lick the bowl, Double D?

Voila! The Ed's Miniature Golf Course is open for business!

Cool!

Good work, Double D! The kids will line up for blocks and we'll be independently

secure. Let's break it in!

He said he.

Well, the rods are shot.

It'll probably take me weeks to find another box.

Huh.

How come Double D's so smart about stuff?

Because he's not human.

Double D's not human?

No way.

I thought you knew.

Have you ever known anyone that smart?

If Double D's not human, what is he?

You didn't hear this from me, but... Deep in the Earth's core, in a top

lab, a mad scientist conducted crossbreeding experiments.

To tell?

By combining a terrifying lizard with a sweet boy.

Thus creating the Lizard Man.

See that hat?

He hides his gills under it.

Mustache gills!

Respect my personal space, please.

Thank you.

You're on thin ice, mister.

cocoon meat tending.

What'd I tell you?

Hurry, Eddie.

Quiet, Burhead. We're not alone.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are.

Double D made Sarah and Jimmy from a praying mantis and a snake bug.

Double D changed Rolf, too.

Huh?

Look at him. He's a picnic ant. I smell chickens, Eddie.

Hmm? Ed, don't!

You almost squashed more of Double D's hat. I must find the lizard man, Eddie.

See?

Now he's making a cockroach kid.

It's impolite to stare.

He is not of this earth, Eddie!

What? Is it my breath?

I saw his tail!

His tail is dangerous!

But watch out!

Hello, my name is Ed.

But be cautious. Who knows what evil he's plotting as we speak.

I am alone.

I am hungry.

Ed, wait. I can make you a sandwich.

I'm a bug.

Help me, Ed.

What a sap.

Run away.

Ed, please.

Soup is filling.

Hi,

Ed. Hi, Double D. I'm having a barbecue this afternoon.

Would you like to come?

I'd be delighted.

How about you, Ed?

Lots of food.

Yes, join us, Ed. Join us, Ed.

Join us, Ed. Join us, Ed. Okay, I give up!

It's no fun being the last human.

So can I be a bumblebee?

Eddie, you're the man with the scam.

You're the big...

If I join you in the party, could I be a tarantula or maybe a salamander?

Party? Wait!

Hey, I'm stuck!

Ed! Don't spit, Cockroach Eddie!

Hi, guys.

Who's up for a dog?

Your cutie wieners are no match for Roach's hunger.

How long's this cook for?

Done.

Yummy. Hot dogs.

I love drinks.

That's always me.

I can't take my eyes off Jimmy either, Plank.

Johnny, have you seen Ed?

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Oh, hello, Ed.

I picked a mosquito as I am ready to be transformed and join your colony.

You look good for a cockroach.

Knock it off, flea brain.

And get this bucket off.

Let me take you to your people.

Wait! Hi, Ed.

Would you like a plug?

Where?

It was huge.

Do something!

Yes, good.

For as Papa would say, the shoe is mightier than Mama's stuffed peppers.

But it's one of you!

I don't know about you.

Quickly before it lays eggs!

Stay close as it may try to crawl up your pant leg.

I'm having a panic attack, Sarah.

It's okay, Jimmy. You and I can stay here.

Yes. As you wish. Will there be any more to cry, baby?

Plank has a tummy ache.

Let the transformation begin!

Do you hear it?

Kevin, shine your moon box.

There.

It's so gross.

In honor of my ancestors.

Oh,

Ross, pretty good for a picnic, Ed.

This is no box.

Huh? Is that Eddie?

Hit him again.

Double D transformed Eddie into a cockroach.

I honestly haven't a clue.

He got that right.

Can you please help me out here?

Forget about it. Just get me out of this bucket.

Are they from this planet?

Nope. They're from the land of the dorks.

My turn!

Slowly. My turn!

Careful. My turn!

My turn!

Ready?

Dad, your toys are marvelous.

And drafty. Am I the only one who works around here?

Come to your master.

Listen to the mechanics of the game.

Winding and shirting.

Yeah, like my stomach.

Hello, stupid wind -up toy.

Do you smell butter, Toad?

Your stupid toy ate my breakfast.

If you're not, sir, obey me.

are set by professionals like Ed, Ed, and Eddie.

I suppressed my pain of laughter.

Don't worry about it, Rob.

Eddie just talks in dorkin' E.

Give it to me, Johnny.

Golly! That's some skid mark. Her plank.

It must be at least 32 feet in length.

32 feet!

A new record!

Cool.

What? Now you're some kind of psychic yardstick?

Let me congratulate you with a victory armpit rub.

So what?

We can beat that.

If only we had a sack of potatoes.

Potatoes wouldn't aid us in any way, Ed.

Bear me, twerps. Why don't you show us what you got?

No problem.

We're pros.

Just watch us. There he goes, involving you and I with his use of plural

pronouns. This one's for you, not theirs.

everyone watching?

Well, daddy, this contraption only takes up half of the cul -de -sac.

World record, here we come.

Plural pronoun.

Oh, dear.

Oh, you

guys are good.

Real pros.

How can I compete?

My feet swell with joy.

Come on, Jimmy.

Eddie, may I suggest something less physical?

Like knitting.

Knitting? I can see it all now.

We need a big blanket. A huge blanket.

Kevin would have to out -knit us.

That he would.

I like blankets with little fringes on them. Not knitting!

We move to plan B.

Yeah, yeah.

56 bounty slams in a row.

And not a beat of sweat.

You are good, but I must tempt you with Rome's record for unicycle shenanigans.

Right, but don't count your chickens. Why would I not count my chickens?

Chin -ups are an easy record, Jimmy.

Fine, it's over easy.

Now spin them around like a sick goat.

Ralph, you sure are old world.

Thumb record, Kev. What next?

Pillow fluffing?

Yawn. What are you dorking about now?

The record just said by moi and my two engineers, the fastest trip around the

world with a rocket car that went so fast, the paint peeled off.

Yeah, right.

You don't have a rocket car.

Oh, then how do you explain this baguette? I picked it up on a fuel stop

France. And I got this Chinese food in China land.

Record -breaking rocket car.

All right, no -goo -die dork. Let's see your rocket car.

Does it have shiny fiends? How fast does it go, Rocket Man?

Does it have knobs? Come see for yourself!

Get down the lane.

Oh, boy.

Show us, Eddie.

Right. Let's go.

To the rocket car.

Excellent idea.

After you.

Lead. Lead the way.

Right this way.

You first.

Watch your step.

Follow the yellow brick road.

And I do mean you.

All done.

Oh, that's so cool, Double D.

Thank you, Ed.

Can we visit the planet of Bacon Man and have the marrow sucked from our bones?

It's just a prop, Ed. It's too small.

Small?

Please, Ed.

It's compact.

I insist.

Ladies first.

This is a rocket car?

Yeah, right.

Is that a traffic cone?

Uh, yeah.

Ready for launch!

Oh dear, it is too small.

Run for one more!

Touch me with that broom and I'll tear off your eyebrow.

Ready, Double D?

The success of this is slim to low... Okay, prepare to blast off!

Watch the head, big guy.

Where's the other dweeb?

You want to be cramped up with Ed's pit?

No.

Prepare for blast off.

Igniting turbine thruster. Saving spark plug.

Contact.

passing through Scotland.

Look, look, a man wearing a dress.

Uh -huh.

Now we're whizzing past Switzerland.

I smell a ghost.

Yes, look, a sign made for Victor, yes?

I know.

Get over it, Rolf.

Let's Mexico.

Let's pan.

I'm home.

Excuse me, pilot.

Frank's feeling a little woozy.

Normal behavior, because we're over the Pacific Ocean.

Can I wear a dress again?