Original subtitles

- Paulette, you must tell me what's wrong.

You're all bruised. You seem to be in pain.

I worry about you.

What's happened?

- Please, Allen. Don't question me.

I just don't wanna talk about it.

Well, why not?

What are you trying to hide?

Why are you so secretive?

Please don't question me.

I just don't understand.

I want to forget everything that happened.

Look, Allen, a handsome cab!

Oh, it must be fun.

You know, I've never ridden in one.

Well, that can be remedied.

May I offer you a ride in my chariot?

Some other time.

Oh, stop pretending to be gay.

Tell me what's bothering you.

Maybe it's not as bad as you think. We can work things out.

Let's just walk and enjoy the sights.

Everything looks so peaceful and quiet.

I don't want to think about a thing.

Unfortunately, life is not like that.

You have to face whatever problems there are, not hide them.

You'd be surprised how much easier it is

when you can talk it out.

Maybe you're right.

But all I know is that I want to forget.

It's not that simple.

If you can bring whatever it is that's bothering you

out into the open,

then at least you can see what it is that you're fighting.

Don't you understand?

I never thought it could happen to me, but it has.

I've never felt about any girl the way I feel about you.

You're so good. So pure.

You have a look about you like-

- Oh, stop, Allen.

I won't listen to another word!

You can't stop the way I feel about you.

- I can't let you go on talking like that.

- Sit down.

Paulette, I want to help you, but I must know the truth.

- It's a pretty sordid story, Allen.

- I love you.

I wanna marry you.

Be with you and take care of you.

You need me, Paulette.

- Don't, Allen. Don't go on.

- Paulette, I know we can be happy.

- It's too late for that. You know it.

I'm waiting, Paulette.

Well, they say confession is good for the soul.

I was born in a small town in Ohio called Hillsdale.

It wasn't much of a town, but it was home.

I suppose like most girls

who get their glamor from movies and magazines,

I wanted to be an actress.

I was head of the dramatic club in high school,

and everyone told me I had great talent.

After graduation, I can convinced my parents

that my only chance was in New York.

There wasn't much money,

but my mother gave me whatever savings she had.

We figured that this would keep me for about two months.

After that, of course, I'd be on my way.

And so I came to the big city.

I remember how excited I was, how confident

that a bright and rosy future was mine for the taking.

As I looked around me at the tall buildings

and the breath-taking skyline,

I wanted to shout, "Oh, look out world!

Here I come, you can't stop me!"

One day, I would be an important part of this vast city.

One day, I would be a great actress.

My name and lights on the theater marquis,

people applauding, surrounded by handsome men

and beautiful women, living in the lap of luxury.

I had to find a place to live,

but first I wanted to look around me

to get acquainted with what was going to be a part of me.

This was the city

that was going to give me everything I ever wanted.

This was the city that would make my dreams come true.

Here, I would find life.

Here, I would find love.

Here, I would find me.

It had to be, I couldn't miss.

It was in the very air that I breathed.

I know it sounds strange,

but I felt as though the very buildings were saying welcome,

as though the people walking by were asking me to stay.

I felt that I belonged.

I was wanted.

If only everything could have remained that way.

Suddenly, I realized that it was late afternoon,

and I had to find a place to live.

Almost evening, and I was getting desperate.

I had spent too much time enjoying the vastness of New York.

My first lesson in the big city, don't procrastinate.

Necessities, first.

Whatever there is to be enjoyed, afterwards.

I was tired, but couldn't rest.

I must find a place.

There was only one other address that I had.

Perhaps, I would have better luck here.

Do you remember, Allen, as I walked into the elevator,

you walked out and accidentally bumped into me?

And looked at me.

I felt, "Oh, I'd like to know."

A woman's voice said,

"The door's open! Come on in!"

A tall, attractive girl,

clad only in her underwear and hat, greeted me.

And this is how I met Tracy,

with a heart of gold and a body so enticing

that men would not leave her alone.

I told Tracy that I was answering her ad

for a girl to share her apartment,

but that it probably would be too expensive for me.

Tracy asked me to sit down, and we started talking.

I told Tracy about Hillsdale

and my determination to be a great actress.

I told her about my parents and their sacrifices

so that I could have my chance

and that I would let nothing stand in my way.

I had to make good.

I owed it to myself and the people that believed in me.

I was glad of the cup of coffee that Tracy offered me.

It had been a long day, and I was weary.

Tracy seemed to be very interested.

As a matter of fact,

she said she thought perhaps she could help me.

She had a close friend, Sam Biller,

who was a theatrical agent, had a great deal of influence

and knew all of the right people.

She was certain Sam Biller would be glad to see me

and speak to me about my career.

She would phone him and arrange a meeting.

I was very grateful and told her that it would be wonderful

if she could speak to him soon.

I was all excited. It seemed too good to be true.

Here I was in New York only one day,

and I had already made my first contact.

Tracy said she was a model.

And while she earned a good salary,

it wasn't enough to pay for the luxuries she had to have.

And so sometimes she had to work in the evenings.

Then we spoke about me moving into the apartment.

I told Tracy that my money was very limited

and that I had to be careful.

She said not to worry.

All she wanted was $70 a month.

She smiled, a wry smile.

And I suppose I should have realized

what she was trying to tell me.

After the horrible rooms I had seen,

the $70 didn't seem to be too much.

Besides, I would be working very soon.

I was certain of this.

As I handed Tracy the $70 for the first month's rent,

she leaned over, counted another $70 and said

that I might just as well give her two months rent

so that I wouldn't have to worry for a while.

She actually spoke as though she were doing me a favor.

I had only a few dollars left.

I hadn't planned on two months' rent in advance.

Tracy then offered to show me around the apartment.

She had no qualms about walking around in her underwear.

At first I had been embarrassed,

but now I found it amusing.

Then Tracy went to the phone.

She said she was going to call Sam Biller.

This was really a lovely apartment.

I wondered why Tracy only wanted $70 a month from me.

Surely, she could have asked for more.

Maybe this was my lucky day.

Tracy came back from the phone.

She gave me the address of a party

that Sam was going to be at that evening

and said that he had suggested that I meet him there.

She said that one of his producer friends

was going to be at the party.

And if he liked me, well, who could tell?

I was nervous, and I suppose Tracy could sense it.

For she told me that I must not look so frightened,

that it was important that I'd be friendly and gay

so that people would enjoy being with me.

Then she left to go to a modeling job.

I decided that Tracy was right.

I would go to the party.

I would look my prettiest.

I unpacked my bag.

At nine o'clock that night,

I rang the bell at the address that Tracy had given me.

Sam Biller answered the door.

He seemed quite nice.

He tried to introduce me to some of the others at the party,

but no one paid much attention to us.

They all seemed to be very much engrossed in each other.

I took my coat off and then sat down.

I looked around me.

I must confess that I was shocked at what I saw.

I noticed a very shy girl

whose name I later learned was Susan

who appeared to feel as I did.

She looked surprised and uncomfortable.

I wondered which of these men

was the producer that Tracy had spoken of

and how attending a party of this kind

could help me get started as an actress.

Sam was with another girl and paid no attention to me.

Everyone was drinking and making love,

everyone, that is, except Susan and me.

I had never seen such goings on before.

And in spite of the fact that I was horrified,

I found that I was fascinated too.

Susan was having trouble keeping the men away from her.

Then I saw her taking a drink.

Soon, she was acting

just as wild as the others at the party.

Poor Susan.

I watched one of the girls doing a strip act.

I suppose she was pretty good,

but I had only one thought in mind.

I had to get away.

Sam tried to be friendly, but I didn't want any part of him.

When Sam tried to kiss me, I knew I couldn't take anymore.

I managed to push him away from me.

Get my coat.

And leave.

When I got back to the apartment, I found Tracy asleep.

I woke her and demanded

that she returned the money I had given her.

I couldn't stay and be a part of something so ugly,

so degrading that it actually made me sick.

She said she could not return the money.

She had already spent it,

and if I didn't want to stay, well, I could leave.

I tried to reason with her, but it was useless.

She told me not to bother her. She was tired.

I said that she had taken all of my money,

and I couldn't look for another place.

I couldn't go back home. What was I to do?

I pleaded with her, but she just wouldn't listen.

I'd tried to make her understand

how much she was hurting me, how difficult it had been

to get the money to come to New York

and how important it was for me to have my chance.

She just laughed and repeated that she was tired,

and why didn't I leave her alone?

I realized how useless it was trying to talk to her.

Perhaps in the morning, I could make her listen to reason.

In the meantime, I would have to plan to go out on my own

and try to get a job.

Tracy kept talking as I bathed.

I didn't know what she said.

I wasn't listening.

All I knew was that I had to get away from her.

I did hear her say something

about being just as good as I was.

And if I didn't like it here, I could leave.

The next morning at breakfast,

I tried again to get Tracy to return my money.

She kept saying that she didn't have it.

She had spent it, and there was nothing I could do about it.

She seemed to be very amused,

kept repeating, "Well, honey, the door is open."

I suggested that she give me part of the money

I had given her, enough for a week's room rent.

She insisted she didn't have it

and that I could earn money other ways.

She's said that I would never make the grade as an actress

and that the sooner I realized this

the better off I would be.

She said there were easier ways of earning money,

and she would be glad to help me if I wanted her to.

I said to myself, "I'll show her.

I'll starve before I sink to her level!"

And I really meant it!

Then, Tracy kept talking, telling me how foolish I was,

that if I listened to her,

why, I wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

She said that New York was full of would-be actresses

trying to get started

and that I was lucky I had met her

before I wore myself outgoing from one agent to another.

She told me she would introduce me

to a friend of hers that afternoon

who was quite wealthy and very generous.

As she kept on speaking,

I became more determined to find a job

and get enough money so that I could leave her.

That was the morning I met you in the hallway, Allen.

You seemed quite surprised to see me

coming out of Tracy's apartment.

Do you remember?

Then you spoke to me.

And for a minute, I was happy.

The next day was Sunday,

and you asked me to spend the afternoon with you.

I had the names and phone numbers of some agents

and started calling them.

I told them my experience,

how talented my friends thought I was

and that I had come to New York for my big chance.

They did not appear to be very interested.

And their responses were all the same.

They were pleasant, but not very encouraging.

One of the agents, however, said that there was a chance

that he could do something for me

and to come to his office.

I went.

The theater district was exciting.

I thought, "This is where stars are made."

Perhaps someday, my name

would be on one of these very marquis.

I was finally at the office of Ted Elvin,

the agent I was to see.

His secretary asked me to wait.

She would tell Mr. Elvin I was there.

I was nervous and impatient.

Then the young lady came back

and told me that Mr. Elvin was in conference

and to phone him again another time.

I went to several other agents,

but the answer was always the same.

No casting today.

Try us again.

I admit, I was discouraged.

When I returned to the apartment,

I was shocked at what I found.

I had to get away from here.

But how? What was I going to do?

I was really disgusted.

Tracy was in bed with a man.

I couldn't see his face, and I didn't want to.

The next day, Allen,

you and I spent the afternoon together as we had planned.

I wanted to go to the park.

You didn't know it, but I felt dirty.

I thought the only way I could cleanse myself

was breathing in the fresh air,

surrounding myself with the beauty and serenity of nature.

It was a wonderful day, Allen.

I'll never forget it.

Talking to you as we sat on the rocks,

I could feel how decent, how good you were.

I think it was then that I fell in love with you.

It was late afternoon,

and I was trying to catch up with my letter writing.

Knowing you and loving you

made me feel as sympathetic towards Tracy.

She probably couldn't help being the way she was,

and certainly I shouldn't judge her.

The doorbell rang.

It was Sam Biller.

He said hello to me.

And I greeted him in a friendly manner too.

Tracy asked him to sit down and have some coffee.

He seemed perfectly at home here,

and I wondered just how often he had visited this apartment.

Sam was very pleasant.

We spoke about the weather and other unimportant matters.

Sam said nothing about me walking out of the party,

and that was quite all right with me.

Then he mentioned the big deal he was involved in.

Suddenly, both Sam and Tracy seemed unaware of my presence.

I was ashamed for them.

What sort of people were they?

I tried to continue my letter writing,

but it was impossible.

I tried to disregard what was happening, but I couldn't.

And I left the house.

When I returned that evening,

Sam was still in the apartment.

As I walked past him, he grabbed me,

and pushed me onto the couch.

He was just a filthy beast, and I told him so.

He just laughed.

I had to find a job.

I had the name of an agent that was supposed to be casting

and went to his office.

I was told to wait in the interviewing room, and I did.

I must have waited for more than an hour,

but no one appeared.

I began to think

that perhaps I should have stayed in Hillsdale.

All of the confidence that I had when I came to New York

was fast leaving me.

What was I going to do?

What was going to become of me?

I didn't want to go back home, beaten, a failure.

What could I say to all of my friends,

to all of the people that had such great faith in me?

Suddenly, I realized how useless it all was.

And I left.

I decided to forget about an acting job

and tried to find some other kind of work,

anything at all that would help to take me out

of this sordid atmosphere I now lived in.

Finally, I answer to help-wanted ad in the newspaper

and got a job as a waitress.

That night I wrote to my family,

and told them that I was working,

but I didn't tell them what I was doing.

The door opened, and Tracy came in.

She was really drunk and could hardly walk.

She was talking, but she didn't make any sense.

She went into the kitchen,

and I continued writing.

Then she came out with a bottle.

She wanted me to have a drink with her, but I wouldn't.

I told her how foolish she was, how she was hurting herself.

And I tried to get the bottle away from her.

She just laughed and said I was a prude,

and where did I think it would get me?

I felt sorry for her.

Surely, there was something I could do.

I asked her why she lived the way she did.

I said I wanted to help her.

I wanted to be her friend.

Didn't she realize that this kind of life

would only lead to her final destruction?

Why couldn't she get a decent job and live normally?

But she just kept laughing and drinking.

Again, I tried to take the bottle from her.

I suppose I knew it was really useless talking to her.

She probably hadn't heard a word I said.

The telephone rang,

and she staggered into the bedroom to answer it.

I didn't know who was on the other end of the phone.

No doubt, one of her men.

But whoever it was, Tracy seemed to find him amusing.

She spoke for quite a while.

She was saying something about money.

Then I heard her make an appointment. She hung up.

Tracy was asleep.

I guess the liquor was having its effect on her.

And I was reading.

The bell rang.

And when I knew it was you, Allen, I was really at excited.

You said, you just felt like seeing me

and so just rang the bell.

I was glad.

I had a job.

You were here with me.

Perhaps things were getting better for me.

Maybe my luck was changing.

Who could tell?

When we danced, when I was in your arms,

I thought nothing can hurt me.

It was probably the happiest evening I had ever spent.

When I was with you, I could forget all of my problems.

I felt I was safe.

I was secure.

I was with you, Allen.

The next morning, I went to work.

Being a waitress wasn't easy for me,

especially since I hadn't done anything like that before.

When the morning was over, I knew I was in trouble.

Serving breakfast was difficult,

but lunch was just too much for me.

The place was very crowded.

I couldn't seem to get the orders right.

The final blow was the coffee

that I accidentally spilled on a customer.

I didn't blame my boss when he told me I was threw.

He didn't even pay me for the day.

He said that whatever I earned

would have to go towards the cleaning bill

that he had to pay because of my clumsiness.

I hadn't even lasted the day.

And I had tried so hard.

Money!

What was I to do?

Where could I go?

What was to become on me?

Poor little dog.

He was shivering, and he looked so sad, lost like I was.

Suddenly, I just didn't care.

Nothing mattered.

All of the wonderful plans I had had for myself

no longer existed.

I had tried, and I was a failure.

I couldn't go home.

I couldn't face my family and my friends.

I tried to think, but I knew what I had to do.

There was nothing else for me.

I recalled the day I had arrived in New York

full of faith and hope in the future.

And now there was nothing.

I wanted to cry, to cry for what could have been,

for what should have been,

but tears were not the answer.

I must learn to be hard,

to take what I wanted no matter how.

Tracy must have told Sam about.

In spite of what I was doing,

I still found it hard to accept the situation.

What right did I have to look at Tracy

and her friends with contempt?

I was no different than she was.

Sam was at the apartment very often.

Well, I suppose he found me pleasing.

What was I to do?

I was utterly miserable.

Nothing made any difference.

One day was like another.

And where would it all end?

Yes, Allen, that's the way it's been for many months.

You wanted the truth, and I'm giving it to you.

Tracy and I.

There seemed to be a flow of men coming and going.

Sometimes, Tracy would ask me to leave the apartment.

She was expecting someone

who didn't want to be seen, I suppose.

I was always glad for an excuse to get away.

Jim was a sadist.

I couldn't control myself, and I struck him.

You can see what happened afterwards.

I couldn't believe that this was what I had come to,

but I had, and I was just as much to blame as Jim.

When you phoned me, I was on my way out.

I had to get away from this place.

Why did you insist on meeting me?

I didn't want you to see me like this.

I didn't want you to know the truth about me.

You demanded to know why I wouldn't see you.

You said that unless I did meet you and explain,

you would come to the apartment.

I couldn't let you do that.

So now you know the truth, Allen.

Don't waste your time on me.

I'm what you call a bad girl.

Don't talk like that.

To me, you're everything that's good.

We'll get married. We'll forget about the past.

It isn't that simple.

Paulette, don't you love me?

- Love you? If you only knew how much.

Then nothing else matters.

It does matter. I can't let you ruin your life.

Don't think of what has happened.

Think of our future.

- Don't you see? - That is what I'm thinking of.

Don't go. Please, Paulette.

I must. Goodbye, Allen.

- If you leave me now, we're through.

- It's about the best thing

that could ever happen to you, Allen.