Original subtitles

When people finish their day and hurry home,

my day starts.

My diner is open from midnight to seven in the morning.

They call it "Midnight Diner."

PORK MISO SOUP COMBO BEER, SAKE, SHOCHU

That's all I have on my menu.

But I make whatever customers request

as long as I have ingredients for it.

That's my policy.

Do I even have customers?

More than you would expect.

-Everything okay back there? -Nice and slow.

-One step at a time. Don't rush it! -All right.

-Okay. -All good?

-I'm fine. -Sorry for the trouble.

DINER

-See you. -Thanks for your help.

Why does he always take this narrow alley?

This is delicious.

Nothing beats chilled tofu in summer.

Listen to the lovely sound of those bells.

The summer festival is nearly here.

We'll drop by in our yukata.

Okay.

You don't sound happy.

I have smoke in my eyes.

What's wrong, Komichi? You look glum today.

He looks glum every day.

He's sick.

What is it? Cirrhosis?

Wait, do you mean "sick" as in "lovesick"?

You're in love? Who is it? Is she older or younger than you?

Does she have a steady job? Or is she a temp worker?

Is money all you think about?

His situation is similar, but not quite the same.

How rude of you.

It all began when Komichi asked me for a favor one day.

What do you mean by "similar but not quite the same"?

Sorry to impose on you, Master.

I used to make this when I worked part-time at a night stall.

I bought this for you. Feel free to use it.

That's all right. I have my own.

Oh, right. Of course.

Well, Ms. Kasumi? How do you like his fried skewers?

It's skewered cutlets, not fried skewers.

Kasumi is a regular at my diner. She's from Osaka.

Komichi is hopelessly in love with her.

Oh, right. I forgot.

These are called skewered cutlets in Osaka, right?

They are called skewered cutlets everywhere.

In his bid to win her heart,

he asked me to make Osaka's most famous dish for her.

The skewered cutlets in Tokyo are pretentious and bland.

You shouldn't compare them with the real thing.

I like your fried skewers.

Skewered cutlets.

He doesn't stand a chance.

It burns!

You're so clumsy.

Let me get that for you.

Thanks.

Ready?

PHARMACY

There we go.

Very good. Big smiles, everyone.

Big smiles.

Say cheese!

Thanks for the ride.

Thank you for accompanying me at this late hour.

Don't worry about it. Which way?

-This way, Mr. Ide. -Okay.

-Over here. -Wow. This is nice.

This way, please. We're almost there.

-What's this? -No, not that way.

Mr. Ide owns a pharmacy chain. He recently opened a branch in Tokyo.

He hired me to take photos for the PR magazines.

He told me all about it.

The girl from Osaka has been giving him a hard time.

I'll make her cry uncle.

Console her afterward, and she'll be putty in your hands.

Thank you.

Are you okay with beer, Mr. Ide?

-Are you paying? -Yes, of course.

-Then I graciously accept. -Okay.

-Two glasses of beer, please. -Sure.

-Mr. Ide. -Yes?

Bang!

Wow, so that's Osaka comedic timing.

What do you think you're doing? Bang!

Seriously? Your timing is all wrong.

It's harder than it looks.

Of course. It requires great precision and skill.

You have to have good reflexes too.

In fact, this should be part of the Tokyo Olympics.

I'd be the chief judge for the event.

Can you get tickets for the Olympics? I know it's still six years away.

Piece of cake. Is it the 100-meter dash you're interested in?

No, I want tickets for the women's high jump.

Leave it to me.

Here you go.

Welcome.

Ms. Kasumi!

I'm here like I promised. What are you going to buy me today?

-Is she the one? -Yes.

Which part of Osaka are you from?

Why do you want to know? Will you sponsor my meal?

Sure, why not?

Listen.

Komichi here has been paying for your meals,

but you refuse to give him your phone number or e-mail address.

Come now, don't be so heartless.

We have to look out for one another. Give and take, you know?

I'll have a beer. Can you make tempura out of this?

You want me to fry this?

Slice it diagonally and fry it in oil.

She's tough.

She'll be a worthy conquest.

-Yes. -Good.

Wow.

You're so pretty.

Here you go.

What's that?

-Ginger tempura. -Ginger tempura.

Ginger tempura?

So you started stocking red pickled ginger in your kitchen?

That's right.

I buy some when I go grocery shopping.

Who exactly is this girl from Osaka?

I asked Komichi, but he doesn't know what she does for a living either.

She never pays for her own meals.

I bet she's an eat-and-run scammer.

-Right? -Right?

Here you go.

Would you like to try my pickled ginger tempura?

No thanks.

I don't mind it on my yakisoba, but I won't eat it on its own.

Look at that bright red color.

Food shouldn't look like that.

I hear some of the soba stalls in Akihabara and Asakusabashi

have this on their menu as well.

So this is what it tastes like.

-I see why they eat it. -It's pretty good.

Your lack of sophistication astounds me.

I hear that the supermarkets in Osaka sell this in their deli corner.

It's a staple over there.

Unbelievable.

The poor will eat anything.

All right, you crossed the line!

Ko?

Are you...

We always had it for dinner.

I'll have ginger tempura too.

Sorry, but I'm out of red pickled ginger.

I have diced vegetables. How about mixed vegetable tempura?

No thanks.

Miss, can I have one?

No. It's mine.

-How much? -One million yen.

What a bargain!

Thanks for the food.

Komichi, don't forget to pay.

I already paid the other day.

Today is another day.

You have to keep up with the times.

You want the Platinum Diamond Ticket for the Olympics, don't you?

I do.

-Old man. -What?

Your toupee is way too obvious.

Don't be absurd. This isn't a toupee.

He's right.

No one in their right mind would wear a toupee that obvious.

No, I mean...

Yes?

You should stop wearing it.

That girl is really something else.

LIES SEPARATE ROOM AVAILABLE

Here.

Thanks.

-Welcome. -Hello.

I'll have ginger tempura too.

One serving?

Don't be absurd. I only want half.

Why would anyone pay 400 yen for this?

It only cost five yen in the good old days.

All right.

And a glass of cold tea, please.

Sir, your hair...

You noticed?

-Of course I did. -I decided to change my image.

Businessmen should never be afraid of change.

-Mr. Ide. -Yes?

You can only take three toothpicks, no more.

What? Don't be so stingy.

He's such a miser. Don't you agree?

Well, miss? How do you like it?

-Like what? -This!

-The toupee was funnier. -What?

But I guess you look cute.

"Cute"?

It suits you.

You look like Billiken, the god of good fortune.

How about it, miss? Will you be my mistress?

I have tons of money.

My mom always said to me,

"Never be the mistress of a stingy man."

See you.

Don't forget to pay.

That girl is really something else.

I was beginning to tire of their Osaka banter

when all of a sudden, disaster struck.

Here you go.

-Thanks. -Come on, you should give it a try.

As they say, you can't judge a horse before you ride it.

I fixed my gum disease for you.

Your skin is like a marshmallow.

Hello.

Welcome...

Darling!

I knew something was up when you kept going out at night for "work."

I didn't do anything.

Wait, how did you know I was here?

I hired private investigators to keep an eye on you.

In fact, I'm best friends with Snowden, the ex-CIA man.

Really?

That's globalization for you.

Shut up, stupid.

Look at you.

-Still chasing skirts at your age. -No, I...

-I'll take that if you're done. -Wait...

I can't believe you.

We're leaving. Move it!

-Yes, ma'am. -Seriously!

-Wait, don't forget your change. -Oh, right.

Here you go. Five million yen.

That's the spirit!

You've got the hang of it.

You have nothing on him.

Thanks for the food.

Sorry for the commotion.

Darling!

DINER

And then, sometime after his wife's dramatic entrance...

Cheer up. It's a good thing they found it early.

You should focus on your health after the surgery.

That's easy for you to say.

Once I have my surgery,

I won't be able to get it up again.

What will I have to live for?

-Miss. -What?

My surgery is the day after tomorrow.

I won't be able to sleep with you after my surgery.

Please. I'm begging you. Won't you sleep with me tonight?

Mr. Ide, I think you should give it a rest.

-Fine. -What?

Let's go.

Don't forget to pay.

Thanks for the food.

Do you think he was lying about his surgery?

The hotel is over there.

You still don't get it, do you?

Don't worry, I'll pay you handsomely for this.

"Never be the mistress of a stingy man."

That was my mom's advice.

She's in heaven now.

And heaven is where we'll be going tonight.

Let's go.

I recognized you the minute I saw you.

What are you talking about?

My mother raised me alone.

I ate ginger tempura growing up.

It's the taste of poverty.

You should be grateful I didn't stab you in the back with a knife,

Dad.

Who are you?

I knew you wouldn't recognize me. I was only a baby then.

What are you talking about?

Take a good look at my face.

Don't you recognize my features?

My mother was the woman

you abandoned in Higashisumiyoshi 25 years ago.

Thanks.

This is really good!

Now that your surgery is over and done with,

I expect you to concentrate on your business.

I know. You don't have to remind me.

I'm nothing without you, darling.

I leave myself in your capable hands.

You little rascal!

Watch it, they'll know it's a toupee.

That's it? A photo of ginger tempura?

Where's her message?

Or is it some kind of secret code?

You still don't trust me, darling?

I didn't sleep with her.

It's true! You have to believe me!

Oh, so you think it's okay to fool around as long as sex isn't involved?

Well...

Did you ask for a discount?

What?

Well, yes. 3,000 yen.

Good.

You'd be a disgrace to businessmen everywhere if you didn't try to bargain.

Right?

Why do you take a photo every time?

It's my diary.

Make sure the ginger is dry before you slice it.

After you coat it with batter...

-You fry it. -That's right.

See you!

What do you do for a living, Ms. Kasumi?

Ms. Kasumi?

THIS STORY IS A WORK OF FICTION

Subtitle translation by Chen Li Woon