Original subtitles

[receptionist] Name?

Really?

-Cool. Kwabena Robinson. -ID?

[sighs]

Kwabena.

You're Tuesday born, right?

No. Um, uh...

I was born on a Friday, actually.

Uh, my mum just liked the name.

-Oh. -Uh, it's Adjoa, right?

Yeah. It means Monday born,

and I was actually born on a Monday.

[laughs] Yeah, so...

[receptionist] Sorry, can I just say

I'm such a huge fan

and completely obsessed with your work?

Thank you so much.

I saw your play at the National.

You saw that?

-You left me in pieces. -Thank you.

Thank you for coming. I appreciate that.

Hopefully, I can bring some of that magic to this.

[chuckles]

It's, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I've heard good things.

A pleasure to meet you.

I'm really looking forward to your audition, by the way.

I'm, I'm Kwabena.

Yeah. I know.

[laughs] Yes. Of course, sorry.

Um, yeah. Sorry.

-Should we head in? -Yeah.

Okay, cool. Let's go.

-Yeah, we're going this way. -Okay.

[receptionist] Excuse me?

I still need your ID.

Yeah. I'll be right here.

Thank you.

It's when I had short hair.

Hmm, shame.

[singer] ? And I'm a ugly man making sexy money ?

? And I just wanna get friendly with her ?

[Adjoa] But Lord Yarderton,

my heart is broken into a thousand pieces.

I pray your heart stays as strong as your sword

and that your soul is untouched by the horrors it will endure.

But most of all...

I pray that you come back to me.

[exhales sharply]

[applauding]

[Kwabena] That was fantastic.

Well, thank you for coming again. [chuckles]

-Yeah. It was fun. -Can I see you soon?

Yeah. Like on a Tuesday or something.

-[laughter] -Yeah. Take care.

Bye.

We've found our Lady Bantam.

Agreed. And that note you gave was great.

-Yup. -Thank you.

Um, we, we still have

Roxie Hague to audition?

-Who? -[Theo] The reality star.

And I, I, I mean star.

She, she has a big online following,

so she will lock in a younger audience.

Yeah. My girlfriend loves her.

I think they get their eyebrows done at the same place.

Oh, oh, wait. Okay, but Adjoa

is a trained actress who's about to blow.

I agree. Adjoa is a hidden gem.

-Uh-hmm. -Yeah, but Roxie

is a gem with two million followers.

-Okay. -[Simon] Well, last night,

I was talking to Pippa, the network exec,

and she was saying she would love us to lean

into colour-blind casting.

You know my stance on this already.

Diversity is big priority for them.

But if that's the case,

then why don't we push for a Black lead couple?

[Simon] Strong Black couple,

sort of, uh, I don't know, Barack-Michelle vibes.

Could play well.

You know, I had lunch

with Idris the other day.

He was saying he would love to work with Adjoa.

Yeah. He's already attached to Mandem in Outer Space,

so it's not gonna work.

What about Rudolph Williams?

-Hmm. -Who?

He does theatre mainly, but he's done soaps as well.

I just think given everyone on our shortlist are BAFTA winners

that they might be better options?

Rudolph's won an Olivier, Theo.

This is what's the show's about.

[sighs] Do we-do, do we not need to think about our...

-key audience? -Which is?

Middle aged,

middle England.

Right.

Are you saying white people won't watch something

if Black people are the leads?

Uh...

I, I-I'm fully behind this idea.

And Kwabena is our director after all.

You know, we need to give new audiences

a show where they can see themselves.

-Right. -You know, growing up as a, a, a

working class kid in Newcastle,

you know, I certainly never had that.

Well, if that's what everyone thinks,

I'll cancel Roxie's audition

'cause I wouldn't wanna-

wouldn't wanna waste her time, so...

Great! Thank you so much, Theo.

No, no, cool.

Hey, babe.

Miss me? [chuckles]

[singer] ? When I close my eyes ?

? I can see it ?

? My senses come alive I can feel it ?

? All of the things I dare to dream when I'm sleeping ?

[Kwabena] Amy, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry.

Really, Kwabs?

Forty-five minutes?

Sorry, I got caught up at work with casting.

Must be nice. I've spent six hours

trying to come up with cooking innuendos.

"Hot Baps." [chuckles]

"A new, naked,

dating cooking show where things get steamy."

Surely this isn't hygienic?

It's not.

And we have to buy, and I quote,

"bush fire safety aprons."

I'm surprised you're still there, to be honest.

Yeah. Well, it's chilled and it pays well, so...

Yeah, but you went from producing features in Naij

to what, judging "buns."

I don't know, man, it just feels like a waste.

-A waste? -I'm not judging.

It kinda feels like you are.

Just say it, Kwabs.

Look, I'm just saying

I think you're really smart and talented,

and you've dreamt of telling meaningful stories

your whole life, so I don't know why

you're giving up on that.

Well, thank you for your unsolicited opinion.

You literally asked.

You know what?

We can't all live with our mums

and pay no rent at our big old age,

just waiting for the perfect job to come along.

Because we live in the real world,

which requires money for things like-

you wouldn't understand, like bills

and rent and medical care for my mum.

Why you coming for me like that?

I'm not coming for you.

I'm just telling you like it is.

-[sighs] -You don't understand.

Why am I buggering? [sighs] Don't worry about it.

-Really? -[chuckles]

And you know what? Have these.

'Cause, you know, I wouldn't want them to go to waste.

[singer] ? I want to travel the world ?

? And take care of my family ?

Amy, seriously, you don't want my help no more?

I'm tired of waiting, Kwabs.

[sighs]

[singer] ? Wonder where you'll take us next ?

[singers] ? Take us next ?

[singer] ? We hope, we pray, we manifest ?

[singers] ? Manifest ?

[singer] ? Still we know we're truly blessed ?

[Maurice] Babe, have you seen some of these paintings?

This is some Picasso shit right here.

-I love surrealist stuff. -Cubist.

-Swear he was Spanish. -Uh, babe?

Did you check the fees before booking this place?

Two grand a month!

Because it is the best.

And it's gonna pay for itself when Mayowa

is a FTSE 100 CEO.

Babe, we can't afford this.

Don't worry, I'm gonna take up

some extra lectures at work

and do some tutoring.

Our son is gonna have the best.

Well, he'd have more of a chance

if you weren't dressed like a B-Tec Clarkson.

-What? -It's giving

"stop the boats" vibes.

-Well, are you not feeling it? -[Funmi] Uh-uh.

I think it's rather dashing.

Debonair, even.

-Hmm. -Mr. Mitchell,

so sorry to keep you waiting.

-Yes. -I'm Carole,

the nursery manager here.

-Hi. -Hello.

Oh, Carole.

It is a privilege and a pleasure to meet you.

Thank you so much.

I have one query, actually. -Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Um, by any chance,

would you have any bilingual key workers?

You see, we have a holiday home in Bordeaux. [laughs]

Oh. [speaking French] Les couchers

de soleil � Bordeaux sont divins, n'est-ce pas?

[chuckles] Oui?

[Funmi] I have a question about

-the application process... -[Carole] Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

[Funmi] ...um, could you tell us a little bit more

about how it works?

Well, it's, um, it's a very intuitive process.

-Right. -We aim to understand

-everything about each child... -Hmm.

...to gauge whether they'd be a good fit

for the environment that we create here.

And we do only accept

a very limited number of children.

-Uh-hmm. -Uh-hmm.

But, uh, diversity and inclusion

is at the forefront of everything we do.

Oh. Really?

And how inclusive,

um, is your current intake?

Speaking honestly, Mr. Mitchell,

it's imperative to us

that we widen our diverse intake this year.

Carole, that is dope.

Because as a blended Nigerian and Jamaican family,

we believe that Mayowa would be a perfect fit for your school.

That's wonderful! Well, let's get you signed up

for your child's assessment.

And are you both available tomorrow?

Yes.

[Carole] Perfect.

Spaces are filling up,

but we'd welcome a family like yours.

[singer] ? On your way for me, girl ?

[humming]

[singer] ? Oh, yeah ?

[Grace] So you can fix underneath?

[laughter]

It ago need a new valve,

so yu haffi go see me tomorrow.

-Oh, no. -[laughter]

I'm joking.

Yeah, I'm home all day tomorrow,

so not even a problem.

Aight.

Uh, would you like a cup of tea before you go?

-Me nah go say no. -All right.

Oh, Kwabs! You're early, very early.

[laughs] How are you, son?

-How was work? -Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, calm. Um, everything good?

Uh, with what? Oh, this is Errol.

Your Uncle Claude sent him to fix the machine.

[chuckles]

-Hi, Mr. Hollywood. -Yeah.

Time you need someone to play the part of a plumber,

memba say, me are your guy. You hear that.

[laughing]

Okay. Um, look, I have a lot of work to do,

so if you need me, just call. But yeah, ciao.

-Oh. [giggles] -Um...

-All right. -...pleasure to meet you, yeah?

Him, always working, that one.

[Errol] Mi know all 'bout hard work.

[Grace cackling]

Stop it. Stop it.

So how exactly is this going to work, dear boy?

Rudolph?

I didn't mean to be a sour puss,

but won't my look slightly contradict

my status in this period?

[chuckles] It is a periwig,

which was very fashionable in the Regency period.

By look, I mean my skin color.

And by period, I refer

to that business across the Atlantic.

It is colour-blind casting,

but there were wealthy Black people

-in Britain during that time. -Black dukes?

So how did I acquire my wealth?

[exhales sharply] It says... sugar.

So I'm a slave owner?

We can change it to... clothes?

And what material would those be made from?

Yeah. Wait.

What if slavery didn't exist in this show?

And wouldn't that be, like, I don't know, like, radical?

[Rudolph] Making a Regency show

set in a Britain without slavery isn't radical,

it's erasure.

Well, what would you think if you saw a show

set in Nazi Germany

that didn't acknowledge the final solution?

[sighs] Oh, fuck.

That's what I thought. Better get typing, dear boy.

I've got some business to attend to.

Calum, fetch my groom of the stool.

[sighs] All right. Um...

[Carole] Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit!

Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell,

I am so sorry to keep you waiting.

My last assessment ran over. How are you?

Yes, yes, Carole. Mi glad fi see you again...

[Funmi] Carole...

[in Nigerian]

Good morning to you, too.

[Abdul] Linda from Leeds says

she would love to be on Hot Baps

because "any man who can make me a good pound cake

can give me a good pounding."

[Fiona laughing]

Right. I baked a Nigerian

pound cake for my last Mixed Girl Meet Up.

-Of course you did. -Uh, what's Linda's background?

Just because we do need to make sure

the show is as diverse as possible, remember?

Oh, yeah. Well, not to judge a book by its Caucasian cover,

but she looks pretty white to me.

Um, she might identify as Black.

-[snickers] -Exactly.

Thank you so much, Amy, for seeing me.

-Welcome. -Oh, Heather's calling.

Oh, hello there, Heather. Hello.

[sighs] Is she all right?

Yeah. I just think her cornrows are too tight.

[softly] Dickhead.

You okay?

[sighs] Just a patronising friend

giving unsolicited advice about my career.

Yeah? What did they say?

Apparently, this place is beneath me.

That is a dickhead thing to say but...

-Right? -Yeah.

They do kind of have a point, though.

And yet you're still here?

Actually, uh...

don't tell anyone

but I, uh...

had an interview at Netflix last week.

-Abdul, that's so good. -Uh-hmm.

I'm so happy for you! Come on.

You're gonna get this. You're gonna get this.

Wait. Am I gonna be the only Black person here now?

No. Fiona's getting more and more Black by the minute.

[indistinct chatter]

?upbeat music plays?

-[knocking] -[Simon] Oh, Kwabena!

Perfect timing. We got some very good news for you.

-[Kwabena] Yeah. -Rudolph's on board.

-Woo! Hey, that's cool. -Yeah.

Yeah, but it, it was a lot of work.

But, uh, given how much you really wanted him,

we, you know, we went to extra lengths, so...

Thank you.

-Um, so... -Yup.

...I was looking over the scripts last night

and I found some story issues with having a Black duke.

But it's fine because I have made lots of script notes.

I have some suggestions for rewrites which-

Rewrites? [chuckles]

Uh, I don't know how feasible that is, Kwabena.

Well, our writer has already gone onto another job.

And not to mention that changing things now,

and it's gonna cost money that we don't have.

Well, let's hear him out.

Thank you, Bridgette.

Um, so we've cast Rudolph,

and he's playing an English duke

who essentially acquired his wealth

through slavery, so...

Uh-hmm.

...it's not realistic.

Yeah, but that's the point of colour-blind casting.

It, it-it's entertainment.

It's not a-it's not a history lesson, so...

Well, slavery was prolific in the Regency Era.

Exactly. And I think we should honour the truth at the time.

Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

Yeah. No, I mean, that, that, that, that is a, a pickle.

-That's- -It's a-it's a shame

you didn't mention this before really.

Um, but if the issue is where his wealth came from,

can't we say that he married into it?

Yeah. But then that gives us the same problem

-with Adjoa as his wife. -Yeah.

But what if we make his wife white?

Yeah. Would that solve it?

I mean, I guess but Adjoa is playing Lady Bantam, so-

Yeah, but she hasn't been confirmed,

and Roxie Hague is still available.

I did love Adjoa though.

I mean, it would be a shame to lose her.

[Simon] No, no, I agree-I agree,

but, uh, you know, Kwabena has raised a valid point.

If, if casting Roxie solves the problem,

then I think we should do it.

Um, I mean, what do you think, Kwabena?

I mean...

[sighs]

I mean, yeah, it would work.

[chuckles softly]

Great.

And she's a natural on camera. I've seen her TikToks.

Uh, Theo, could you make some calls?

Absolutely. I think this is a great fix.

Good work, Kwabena.

I'll see you later.

[indistinct]

is going to be guaranteed [indistinct]

Bridgette, do you have a moment?

Yeah.

Why can't we make it work with two Black leads?

I'd love nothing more than two Black leads.

I'd also love a roll top bath and a private chef,

but this is the reality.

At your talk

you said the show is about pushing boundaries.

We're now at the boundary,

and you're saying we should stop?

[chuckles] Look.

When I got into this business, I was just like you.

But the more experience you get, the more you understand

that change isn't this one big overhaul.

I'm here, you're here.

And now Rudolph is here

as a lead in a Regency drama.

Enjoy the small wins

because they're few and far between,

I promise you.

[sighs heavily]

[singer] ? Hey ?

? Tap into your highest self ?

? Let the rhythm guide you to your state of solitude ?

-What the fuck, Tola? -[shushes]

Did you know sewing a wig

is the same as stitching a wound?

Why is Susan here?

And is that a buss down wig?

Oh, I forgot my mannequin head at uni

and I need to finish this wig for a client ASAP.

Yeah. This ain't working.

Oh, it's not finished yet.

It'll all come together.

I'm not talking about your...

-[shushes] -...about your wig.

I am talking about my flat

that you've turned into a salon.

You've gotta go back to Cambridge.

I told you already. I'm done with that.

Bullshit.

Fine, I'm telling Mum.

Look. I hate it there, okay?

I thought I wanted to be a doctor,

but being there with those people,

they treat me like I'm an exotic bird

because I didn't go to some Hogwarts school

or know what an Aga is.

-Sorry. What's an Aga? -I don't know.

Look. Why didn't you say anything, hmm?

Because I knew everyone would be upset if I drop out.

I'm supposed to be the smart one.

Why am I catching strays?

Sorry.

I'm just unhappy, and I don't know what to do.

All right. All right.

Look, you are really smart and talented.

And Tola, you've always dreamed of being a doctor,

so I'm not sure why you're giving up on that.

I appreciate it, sis. And you're smart too.

Thank you. Tola, is she sleeping?

Oh.

-Oh. Oh, my God. -Yeah. You're good, you're good.

-Yeah. -Fix this and then fix this.

Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.

And send Susan back upstairs.

[phone buzzes]

?soft jazz music plays?

[sighs]

???

?upbeat music plays?

[Koby] Rah, everyone is here, boy.

Yo, fam, what's good?

Sorry, man. It's just work innit-those are things-

Nope. We don't wanna hear that shit, bro.

Yeah. Today we are celebrating Kwabs

finally getting a J-O-B...

-Boom. -...and that my genius of a son

has got himself into the best nursery

in the whole borough.

-[indistinct] hey. -Come on.

-Dun know? -Hey,

tonight we're here to drink our party, blud.

Absolutely until 10:00.

Whoa, 10:00?

Look, I've got the extra tutoring now, man.

I'm picking up the extra work,

and I'm paying these nursery fees.

-Come on, bruv. -[Koby] Say less,

we getting lit by 9:00.

Nine o'clock. [laughs] Woo.

-Hey, listen. -Wagwan.

That's what I was trying to tell you, man, about work, bro.

See that ting in the beige boots, yeah?

Bro, she's the actress we're supposed

to get in the show, and last minute,

the casting director did some switcheroo ting.

[Maurice] Wait. You man just let her walk away like that, fam?

For the influencer, Roxie.

Oi. I know [indistinct]

Wait. So your man switched out that babe for the white ting?

Now you see why I'm avoiding her.

So fam, what are you gonna do inside?

It's not like you're gonna hide with your hair, fam.

[laughs]

[sighs]

Let's go inside, man.

[sighs]

[singer singing in foreign language]

-Hey. -Hey.

-How's it going? -I'm good.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, you too.

How's the show going?

Uh, yeah. Nah, it's good.

Um, yeah, about that, actually...

Yeah. It's a shame we won't get to work

with each other on that one.

Oh, you know already?

My agent told me.

-Uh, yo, I loved you. -Yeah.

But, like, I was fighting for you,

but the execs, they wanted someone else.

It's okay. I know it's not your fault.

I get it. I know.

[chuckles softly] Right.

Um, but look, I would still love

if we could work together at some point.

Of course.

But we can just hang out socially tonight though, right?

[chuckles softly] Yeah.

Yeah. I, I would-I would- I'd love that.

-Yeah? -Would you like a drink?

Yes. Yes, I would love a drink.

[singer] ? Txtin', txtin', txtin' ?

? Jugglin' me all over your phone all night ?

? It's your love, you're jugglin' me ?

? You don't know that you been all mine ?

-[coughs] -[laughs]

-Do you-do you wanna dance? -Yeah.

-Yeah? -Okay.

Let me grab my bag. Come.

[singer] ? Na, na, na, na, na, na ?

? Na, na, na, we got about three hours ?

? Leave your phone alone, na na na ?

? He be guessing what goes down ?

? When we be all alone ?

So we-ooh!

-Ooh! -I'm so sorry.

No, no, you're good, you're good.

-I'm so sorry. You got- -It's fine. It's barely-

Vanessa?

Hi, Kwabs.

[singer] ? Interesting ?

? Money haffi double cah we spending ?

? Stepped in, bowling like the 10-pin ?

-Hi. I'm Adjoa. -I'm sorry.

Oh. Sorry. Um, yeah, no, sorry. Adjoa, this is Vanessa.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you too.

-I love your corset. -Thank you. You look amazing.

-Thank you. You too. -Have a nice evening.

[singer] ? I said I been the man like ?

? Zaga zow, zaga zow, yeah, yeah ?

? Txtin', txtin', txtin' ?

? Jugglin' me all over your phone all night ?

? Na na na, it's your love, your... ?

How do you know each other?

Oh. Yeah, we used to date.

Right. You good?

-Yeah, I'm calm. I'm calm. -[chuckles]

[DJ] You know we got time left this hour, right?

-Okay. -[DJ] Let's go!

If you're [indistinct] put your hands in the air one time.

If you're [indistinct] put your hands in the air one time.

Give me that bounce. Give me that bounce.

-Sorry. Sorry. -[chuckles] It's all right.

[rapper] ? Look what the cat dragged in ?

? Look what the cat dragged in ?

? Look what the cat dragged in ?

[DJ] Let's go!

[rapper] ? Look what the cat dragged ?

? Cream of the crop shit ?

Um, you know, um,

I think my friends are looking for me.

-Oh, should I come with? -Oh, no, no, you're good.

I might be gone a while, so...

Okay. Cool. But I'll see you later then, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, I'm just gonna see what they wanna do, but yeah.

Um, good luck with the show.

Yeah. All right.

-See you. -Bye.

[rapper] ? I done it bare back, I take chances ?

? Straight nasty ?

You just let her walk away again, man.

Yeah.

Yo.

Ain't that Vanessa whining up on some next man?

Nah, who the fuck whines to Giggs, man?

Nah, listen, you need to pattern that.

-Oh, you think? -Yeah, blud.

That's what I'm looking. I mean, look at her.

Oh, oh, whining up like that, you know?

To this song, in front of your face?

Hey, you're big Kwabs. Say with me.

-"You're big Kwabs." Hey. -Yeah.

Don't let no gyal tek mi fi eediat.

Grrr. Yeah, man, roll up in there.

Hey. Come on, my guy. Ey, let's go.

Ey, we're here, man. [grunts]

Hey, you know, this was a bad idea really.

-Terrible, bruv. -Yeah.

Seriously, Vanessa?

Brudda, do you mind?

Yo, no one's chatting to you, bro.

And no one is chatting to you.

Brudda, I think you need to leave.

I don't know how many times I have to tell you.

No one's chatting to you, fam. Bro, what were you on?

Oh.

[rapper] ? I want my cupcake round ?

? Look round at Nucks' face smile ?

? I make the sluts go wow! ?

[Charles] Do you want a problem?

'Cause it looks like you want a problem.

-Um... -[Vanessa] Okay. Okay.

Could you guys just put your dicks away for one second?

Wait.

Can you just give me a minute?

Okay.

[rapper] ? That Slim Shady like Marshall ?

Come on.

Don't think more on it, bruv.

[sighs] What is your problem, Kwabs?

Is that how you're moving in New York, yeah?

Just whining up on next man.

We broke up, remember?

I can't believe you come back from New York and not tell me.

I don't owe you anything.

And besides, it looks like you've clearly moved on, so...

-Who? Adjoa? -Uh-hmm.

-She's just an actress. -[scoffs]

I know her through work, that's all.

Is that how you chat to people you work with,

all up in their ears like that?

It was loud in there.

[scoffs]

Okay. But I'm back.

Now you know. What do you wanna talk about?

[muffled music plays]

No. But who the fuck whines to Giggs?

You're pathetic.

Wait. You're just gonna leave it like that?

-Like what? -I just think-

It's just-what? What do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

[singer] ? Ride you from the front to the back ?

? Back, back, back, back ?

? Got my money? ?

? Run it back, back, back, back, back ?

? And my baby bring it back, back, back, back, back ?

-? Got my money? Run it... ? -[pants]

Is this what you wanted, yeah?

[singer] ? Hmm ?

? You know what comes next ?

? Anytime a hater run up on me, I flex ?

[phone ringing]

Sorry, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[ringing stops]

Sorry, babe.

[singer vocalising]

V?

[singer] ? I don't wanna be alone ?

? Without you ?

? Without you ?

[Errol] Yo, brethren.

You want some porridge?

[sighs heavily]

[singer] ? Oh bumbo klaat ?

? Oh ras klaat ?

? Oh bumbo klaat ?

? Oh ras klaat ?

? I said I came, upon... ?

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