Original subtitles

? I was a normal girl Before my dad went missing

? Then his alien partner appeared

? You've got to save the galaxy

? There's a madman, Gore, you see

? You've got to stop him Now

? Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm just a kid, why me?

? And how?

? See that bracelet from your dad?

? It's got secret powers What's that?

? If Gore should get it That's the key

? To set my evil army free

? I'll gather my friends She's Agent 203

? Now she can protect the world

? It's Agent 203 Agent 203. ?

STRAINS, GROANS

Zoe, don't forget we have that test tomorrow morning.

I didn't forget. And I'm great at math.

Activate freeze charm.

It's a science test. Let's wrap this up now and get going.

Science, yeah, that's what I meant. I'm in good shape.

Activate force field charm!

OK, then what element did Marie Curie discover?

Seriously, Rock? Now? If you studied, you'd know.

Come on, everyone knows that. I've conquered 17 planets

and still had time to learn Earth science.

Um... I've been kinda busy saving the planet from invaders like you

to learn about a million different scientists.

It's one scientist.

She actually discovered two elements - radium and polonium.

I don't know whether to capture him or hire him as our tutor.

Let me conquer Earth first, and then we'll talk.

You might know science, but now you're history.

Activate birdcage charm.

STRAINS And I'm gonna ace that test.

GASPS D minus?!

One more day till the Field Day Funfest picnic!

It's finally our grade's turn!

I heard last year's picnic had the best prizes.

Someone won a videogame console!

And I heard a rumour that the Funky Mangoes are performing.

Zoe, didn't you make their last song your ring tone?

STUTTERS Zoe? Hello?

Argh! How did THAT happen!?

Ugh, when my mom sends me to military school,

will you come visit?

Attention, class. I know you're all excited about the picnic.

But judging by your test grades,

some of you have been having a tad too much fun already.

Well, today's your lucky day! And tomorrow, I'm giving you a tour

of the Roddenberry Natural History Museum,

followed by an oral quiz.

Wow, fortune HAS truly smiled upon us (!)

What I mean, Miss Funnylaugh Ha-Ha Jr,

is that if you can get an A on the quiz,

I'll up your grade to a B plus. If you're in, raise your...

ALL: Yes! I'm in! Argh! ..hand.

Z, what are you doing! Missing Field Day is an epic fail.

So is epically failing. Save me a taco.

Quigley, have you fixed it yet? Your alien translator?

My Translatrix? Getting there. Why? Is it an alien emergency?

Yes, it's an emergency!

Smoosh won't stop playing Hide and Seek on me.

He thinks it's all fun and games. It literally is fun and a game.

Not to me! I keep thinking he's gone missing! Or worse!

I've never had such heartsburn. Heartsburn?

Yes, both of them!

Maybe if that thing can translate my pathetic begging,

he'll finally listen.

Well, I'm trying. If I can't finish it tonight,

it'll have to wait till after tomorrow.

For grapnits' sake, what's tomorrow?

Only the most awesome event in Roddenberry High's history!

Which I'm missing because I got a D minus. It's not fair.

True. A C is considered fair in Earth grading.

A D minus is "poor" or "terrible". ALSO not helping!

Pay attention to the exhibit so you can pass my quiz at the end.

This is the museum's insect wing. Insect wing? Right, guys?

SIGHS Forget it.

We're laughing on the inside. Ah, the Meganeuropsis permiana!

It was all the "buzz" 298 million years ago.

Ugh! I'm afraid of bugs!

Don't worry, these babies have been dead for millions of years.

Really? Really.

Argh! Your backpack is alive!

Settle down, class. This way. PANTING

GASPS Oh, no! Smooshie! What are you...

NO! Zoe!

Be right there! I dropped my phone by the stink bugs. Ugh!

Where ARE you? You can hide, but I'm a better seeker than Ulav.

Gotcha! Huh?

Weird. Smoosh! Get in my backpack now!

I have to get back to my class! Wha! Uh!

GROANS

GASPS

Huh? YAWNS

What are you, little guy? Zoe!

Sorry, it's just for a minute.

Scientists say these animals no longer roam the Earth

because they've all gone extinct.

But I believe they were actually aliens

that went back to their home planets.

I'm required by the principal to read this message:

"These opinions are my own

"and not the views of Roddenberry High School

"or the greater school district."

Zoe, what are you doing?

Getting a better look at this ginormous woolly mammoth.

Bet this guy won a blue ribbon at the prehistoric county fair.

HE SIGHS

Ah.

Ah!

Interesting. Hmm. I'm not familiar with that creature.

It's a mukluk repto-bird! See, I'm paying attention.

It has odd features, kind of like an alien...

Maybe it's from the same planet as the octopus.

Hmm. Next up, we have an Smilodon, or sabre-toothed tiger...

EXHALES

...the largest cat to ever live on Earth.

BLOWS RASPBERRY Argh!

Did humans really invent fire?

Or did they have some help... from across the galaxy?

I'll go out on a limb here and say no.

SNEEZES Sorry, allergic to monkeys!

Gotta go blow my nose!

Smoosh! At least put your cat costume back on

so you don't wind up as a stuffed exhibit here.

Zoe, if you don't stick with the tour, you can't pass the quiz.

I've been paying attention. Really. Then name the moons of Venus.

Trick question! Venus has no moons. Space is kind of my thing.

Mm, fine... but stop wandering off.

SMOOSH SQUEAKS Huh?

Breaking in some new shoes.

All day, it's squeak, squeak, squeak. This is a disaster.

While Rock and Quigley are having the best day of their lives.

This is the worst day of my life.

I can't believe the picnic caterer quit!

I am starving. So are the mosquitoes.

Whoa, either your real parents are lobsters

or you forgot your sunscreen.

And here, we have a fossil from 350 million years ago.

Prehistoric creature...

or visitor from Mars? Oh!

STRAINS

Gotcha!

SHE YELPS Activate sleep charm.

When did you have time to go to the gift shop?

Put your toy away, and pay attention.

SMOOSHIE: Wah, wah. SHE GASPS

Sorry, SO hungry! Is it lunch yet?

SMOOSHIE SCRAMBLES Second thought, bathroom break?

PANTING Er...

Here you are, stay hydrated.

Everybody! The skunk goes thunk with a chunk of a trunk...

What happened to the Funky Mangoes? Internal temperature's critical.

Poor Hugh. The hunger and heat must've gotten to him. I'm OK!

Deactivate sleep charm. Sorry, I had to freeze you, cutie.

I have to keep you a secret from the other humans.

EXCLAIMS

Now try to tell me what's wrong so I can help.

GROWLS

If I just had Quigley's Translatrix, we could understand each other.

Smoosh, NO!

Smoosh is very sorry. He's your friend too.

GROANS

What is with you two?!

Ulav! I need to ID an alien.

It's really tiny, looks like a space rock

until it gets wet, and...

Cute and insane? A Bopzu. They hibernate in rock form.

Bopzus are harmless unless they think you're a threat.

Their only real enemy in the galaxy is Smoosh's species.

Well, isn't that just my luck.

Good thing he's here playing Hide-and-See... Smooshie?

'He's here with me.' What! Zoe, be extremely careful.

The Bopzu has the power to... GASPS: Gotta go.

STRAINS

PANTING

Found you! Not so fast! Hm, I'm not being mean, I'm keeping you safe.

A carnivorous plant! Help!

Oh, for the love of Copernicus.

Ooh. Crisis averted. Now to cram for the exam.

Not again!

Activate sticky charm!

I'm sorry, but you can't go running through the museum.

The guards and Mr Roswell are a lot more of a threat than I am.

DODO SQUAWKS Whoa!

How is this even happening? At least it's a flightless bird.

ULEV: 'How are things with the Bopzu?'

I'm stranded on top of a giant slippery rock,

being attacked by a reanimated dodo while I fail at science.

And how's your day going? When Bopzus feel threatened,

their skin releases a substance that can reanimate objects.

'Like a defence mechanism?' Exactly.

So other creatures fight for them.

'Did you do something to scare it?'

Well, I chased it, froze it, and shoved it in a bag

with its natural enemy.

Now that I say it out loud, it sounds kinda bad.

Kinda?! Oh, Zoe, you didn't!

Now you're its mortal enemy. You and all humans.

'If your friends get bitten by a stuffed brontosaurus, it's on you.'

Way to give me a guilt trip.

'And it will try to defeat you all. You'd better sort this out'

or that museum is going to be part of a pretty un-natural history soon.

GROANS

Please, just make it end.

What I'd give for Zoe's nice, air-conditioned museum.

Or an all-you-can-eat ice cream caravan. Yeah, exactly.

No, I'm serious. Huh? Look!

Whahoo!

With a bazillion toppings! Wait. What if it's a heat mirage?

I'll take it! Whahoo! Yeah!

Hey, guys! They finally filled the dunking pool.

The principal just got soaked! LAUGHTER

'Ladies and gentlemen, the act you've been waiting for...

'The Funky Mangoes!'

Ha! Field day just went from lame-o...

To legendary! LAUGHTER

Let the fun begi...! INCOMING CALL

Hey, Zoe. Why are you on a monkey? 'Long story.'

See, there's this teeny alien bringing the displays to life

to attack me and all human kind. And I've gotta stop it!

And still pass your quiz.

Exactly. Did you ever fix the Translatrix?

Good as new.

'I'd really hate to ask you to leave the Field Day...'

Ha! Ha! Kidding? We're on our way.

'Now it's time for our raffle.

'The grand prize is a jetpack!' THEY GROAN

I'll make you a jetpack. Let's go!

So glad you're here!

The class will be out of the black hole exhibit soon.

We have to catch this guy. Can you handle the dodo?

That's not a nice thing to call Mr Roswell.

No, that dodo! Argh!

I can handle it. Can't you freeze the Bopzu?

That makes it really mad.

ROARS

You didn't say anything about a tiger!

It's actually a Smilodon. The largest cat to ever live on Earth.

Activate sleep charm!

Whoa, that was close. I have to catch the Bopzu

before my class gets eaten by the plastic sharks. Sharks?

ROARS, HE YELPS

Quigs, you help Rock.

I make cave painting.

Get back in your cave!

Sorry, Smoosh. But that's one way to get you to chill.

Quigley, I need that Translatrix. In a sec. I have eyes on Roswell.

They're in the hallway between Space and Prehistory.

He's heading your way! 'Distract him.'

I have to calm the Bopzu down,

and I don't need Roswell playing alien hunter.

How's Rock doing with the Smilodon? SHE GASPS

He's on it.

This is when the dinosaurs existed,

before they went to settle on other planets.

Quigley. I didn't think you were part of today's tour.

I just heard from Zoe it was so-o-o-o interesting.

And where is Zoe? She keeps wandering off.

Um... doing extra-extra credit and memorising all of the exhibits.

PANTING

Can you tell me more about this tool

that was clearly too advanced for the Neanderthals?

They must've had help from... aliens, maybe?

Mm. Funny you should mention that...

I saw evidence back in the space wing.

You should take us there now so the class can check it out.

GROANS

SNEEZES Bird allergies!

Gotta blow my nose.

They really should vacuum this place more.

It should work.

I'll go back and make sure Roswell stays out of your way.

Hello! I'm Agent 203 from the Intergalactic Agency.

We are your friends.

I know you're a Bopzu, and I am here to help.

I-I can understand you!

Sorry, yes, I just needed my Translatrix.

What are you doing in this museum?

I was going home after a mission to Jupiter.

We hit an asteroid, and I fell into the airlock.

I guess I went into hibernation, so I survived the fall.

I landed outside the museum, and they... put me on display?

Yeah, the curator thought you were a meteorite.

I have to get home to my family.

If the ship lands without me, they'll be so worried.

Believe me, I know what it's like to have a missing family member.

I'll get you home, you have my word. Behind you!

ROARS, GROANS

It'll be easier if you stop these exhibits from attacking us.

Yes, I am so sorry. Once they come to life, I can't shut them off.

They'll stop once I leave the planet.

Then we better get you home now.

Ulav, the Bopzu needs to get back to her home planet.

'Is there an IA ship nearby?' I'll send an alert. In the meantime,

'have you neutralised all the reanimated exhibits?'

SCREAMS That's a no.

'Zoe, you'll have to freeze them all.'

Humans have been identified as a threat,

so anything reanimated by the Bopzu will target humans.

Got it. Now I have to find you an IA ship, save my class,

and pass my science test.

Smoosh, I unfroze you, so no fighting, OK?

SMOOSH GROANS Come on!

Wee!

PANTING Activate sleep charm!

Remind me not to play cat and mouse with a million-year-old angry tiger.

Quigley, keep Roswell away from the Prehistoric wing. And take notes!

And yes, some say the moon is real. Everyone says the moon is real.

But could it not just as easily be a hypnotic projection

made by ancient space-Egyptians? No.

Or a Venusian... No.

Can we go back to the Neanderthals?

I accidentally trashed my cave selfie.

Sure, let's go back to Prehistory.

Quigley, I can't find any mention of extra-terrestrials here.

That's because it was in the Geology wing. We should go there now!

That makes no sense. And geology isn't on the quiz.

But aren't some of Earth's minerals from other planets? Fair.

OK, ew. At least this isn't a real...

It's a Meganeuropsis permiana. Hey, I remembered!

INCOMING CALL: 'Zoe! Get to the geology exhibit NOW.

'Roswell's about to give the quiz.'

I invent wheel. Good for you!

I'm kind of battling plastic cave people.

'You'll be living in a cave when your mom sees your science grade.'

Fine, on my way. I have to take my quiz. Can you handle this?

PANTING

INCOMING CALL: I hope this is important.

'It is. An IA ship is on its way to pick up the Bopzu.'

It'll be passing over the museum in five minutes.

'Can't it wait until after my quiz?' It's the last ship for days.

'We have to get the Bopzu home to her family.

'Who knows what she'll reanimate next?'

I'll get to the roof and use my rocket charm to make the rendezvous.

Zoe, Roswell's about to start the quiz.

But the IA ship is coming to get the Bopzu now.

SHE SIGHS I guess I'll fail science.

GASPS Unless you take the test for me.

You're not a cheater. No, I'll still take the quiz.

You wearing your remote voice pendant?

Sweet! PANTING

Activate hologram charm.

Mm! Huh.

Now let's see if you've been paying attention. Zoe, what a pleasure.

What was the largest prehistoric feline?

The Smilodon. Mm.

Another question for Zoe. Name a large prehistoric ape.

Gigantopithecus. When did the insect Meganeuropsis live on Earth?

The Permian period. That's why it's the Meganeuropsis permiana.

Name an animal hunted by cave people. Mammoth.

How does a dodo reproduce? Lays eggs.

Can it! What did you say?

Can it... get any more fun than this?

Zoe, you did surprisingly well. Huh. Your D minus is now a B plus.

OK. Gretchen, name all 79 of Jupiter's moons. Uh...

Thank you for your help, Agent.

I'm particularly sorry about reanimating all the apex predators.

That's OK. New places can be a little scary.

I so wish I had more time to see your planet.

It was fun, learning about Earth's history.

Goodbye, Zoe. And I'll miss you most of all.

Aw, you two made up.

Your translator doesn't function as a lie detector, does it? Aww.

Kidding! Bye, guys! Thanks!

Good news, Zoe. You aced Roswell's quiz. Congrats on the B plus!

And all the frozen exhibits are back in place.

And I know how we can celebrate!

Here, ha-ha. Strawberry two scoops. Yeah.

This really is a great picnic.

Definitely more fun with all of us here together.

Smoosh, what do you think? SLURPS

Legendary!

LAUGHTER

FART ALL: Ew!

Speaking of dairy, no more ice cream for Smoosh! Oh!

Dad, it's not every day that

prehistoric animals try to make me go extinct too.

But I helped someone lost find their way home.

I hope somebody out there is doing the same for you.

Good night, Dad.

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