Original subtitles

? I was a normal girl Before my dad went missing

? Then his alien partner appeared

? You've got to save the galaxy There's a madman, Gore, you see

? You've got to stop him Now

? Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm just a kid, why me? And how?

? See that bracelet from your dad

? It's got secret powers What's that?

? If Gore should get it That's the key

? To set my evil army free

? I'll gather my friends She's Agent 203

? Now she can protect the world

? It's Agent 203 Agent 203. ?

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho... Oh, no!

CRASH

That's right, Santa, come to Gore!

Oh, yes, Mr Big Shot Gift-A-Lot, I've been watching you.

And I know exactly how to make you give me what I want,

now that I have you in your natural habitat.

Except it won't be little kiddies sitting on your lap.

Yes, I've been a VERY naughty boy this year, Santy.

Do you want to know what you're getting me this year?

Well, since you're on the naughty list, Gore,

I'm afraid you'll be getting a boring pair of socks as usual.

Get me what I want, or I'll turn YOU into a boring pair of socks!

Let's talk about that famous naughty and nice list of yours.

Or as I like to call it,

the most extensive surveillance operation ever.

Huh? Think about it.

It's a list of everything everybody does

over the course of a year.

For this next-level spy-work, much respect.

Game recognise game.

I wouldn't call it spy-work. Shush now.

Your naughty and nice list, that's what I want.

What for?

At the top of your "nice" list will be the person

who did all of those so-called "nice" things against me!

That name will finally give me the identity of Agent 203.

Maybe I should get you some deodorant instead.

Hey, I'm wrapping your gift. Don't look!

You don't look! I don't care if anyone looks.

You're all getting one of my Christmas sweaters.

Ooh, I love ugly Christmas sweaters.

Ugly?

Hey. The wrapping paper is haunted!

There you are, Kitty Claws.

I don't know what to do with you, little stray.

I can't keep you a secret from Mom forever.

SMOOSH GROWLS

Where did she go?

CAT MEOWS

Ah! Aw!

Can she just stay a part of this sweater forever? Please?...

It is going to be a great holiday...

if I can keep track of this little escape artist.

ALARM

Abnormal activity alert.

Thermal imaging is picking up something.

They're small, but wow, can they move.

Yeah, they really are fast.

The Intergalactic Agency doesn't rest for the holidays.

Let's move, guys.

Aw, but where do I stash Kitty Claws?

Anywhere I put you, you'll get into trouble.

Guess I'll just have to bring you with.

Smoosh, you do care!

BLOWS RASPBERRY

I can't see a thing.

They're here somewhere.

Don't mind me.

I'm just a sanitation worker making his rounds.

We've got 'em surrounded.

Er... Uh!

Correction. WE'RE surrounded!

They're too fast.

Not for long. Activate Slo-Mo Charm!

THEY YELL

What... have... you... done?

Reeeetreeeaat!

Whoa... festive... restraints!

So, where is it? Let's have that naughty and nice list.

SANTA GIGGLES

That tickles!

How dare you giggle?!

These fingers have destroyed entire solar systems. Ah-ha!

Found it!

Milk, juice boxes, sauerkraut? This is a shopping list!

Mrs Claus always has me pick up a few things while I'm out.

It's our one time of year to stock up.

Yah, grupnicks! Language, Gore.

You're not going to find it.

The naughty and nice list is far too valuable

to be travelling with, so I memorise it.

It's all upstairs.

No, it's not!

HE YELLS

Well, then. I have ways of getting what I want from you.

Release the Beg-inator!

SANTA GULPS

MECHANICAL FOOTSTEPS

Please tell me! Ple-e-e-e-e-ase! I'm begging you!

Oh, pretty please with sugar on top!

Er, no. Come on!

No! Aw!

SOBBING

You're a tough nut to crack, Santa. But we've only just begun.

Eugh! I can't break this garland!

That's because it's no ordinary garland.

You're not aliens. You're... elves?!

Like Santa's elves!?

Like Santa's Elite Commando Elves.

ALL: FA-LA-LA! LA-LA!

Awesome!

You thought we were aliens.

You're with Intergalactic Agency, aren't you?

Wait, how do you know about IA?

Not a lot our boss doesn't know. No worries, though.

Your secret's safe with us.

The Agency and Santa have a long history.

Didn't I ever tell you?

ALL: No!

I'm Jangle, squad leader.

This is Jingle, Winkle, Tinkle and Magnus. He's the big one.

What brings you to Roddenberry? Santa's sleigh went down.

We tracked it and the reindeer here to the center of town.

Sleigh's just ahead. Why don't you come with us?

Yes, it'll be fun! Ah!

MACHINE WHIRRS

That, Santa, is my Brain Drain 3000!

As the name implies, it's going to drain

the naughty and nice list from your brain.

Excuse me, I have to get to the control room

and live-calibrate the suck beam.

Don't wanna download too much and turn you into a Santa Zombie.

At least not yet.

Is it working? Perfectly.

Good. When this gets down to zero,

the naughty and nice list will be mine.

It will reveal Agent 203 and I will take over the galaxy!

MACHINE CHIRPS

It'll take a while, sir.

Can I scoot out for a quick bathroom break? I really have to go.

No, you cannot.

You really are the worst, sir. Thank you.

Whoa! Wow!

Wow, the park is beautiful at Christmas! Is that it?

That's a decoration. Oh, wait... Those reindeer are real!

Santa's sleigh!

Santa's not here! And no clue what could have happened to him!

Guys... REINDEER BELLOWS

SMOOSH CHATTERS Anyone bring the Translatrix?

Smoosh wants to tell us something.

Let me see. No. Don't think so... Nope.

Er, yes!

OK, Smoosh, speak!

SMOOSH CHATTERS

He says... that he didn't eat my pumpkin spice with hot mayo

and resents being blamed for it.

What did the reindeer say?!

The reindeer told him...

Santa has been abducted!

GASPING

Abducted? By who?!

They heard a loud voice say...

REINDEER BELLOWS, SMOOSH CHATTERS

..."Come to Gore!"

Santa's snatched by Gore! Gore's done a lot of things,

but trying to ruin Christmas? We've got to rescue Santa now!

Agreed! A joint mission.

The Commando Elves are at your service!

BOTH: FA-LA-LA!

I bet Gore is holding Santa prisoner on his ship!

That's where we're going! One problem.

Someone has to fill in for Santa and finish delivering presents

or Christmas will be ruined! Ooh, ooh, ooh-hoo!

We're talking disguise, gifts, milk and cookies.

Oh, I am SO in!

Well, he does have the same general shape.

Tinkle, you go with Ulav and show him how it's done.

You'll need the reindeer.

The rest of us will take the sleigh to rescue Santa.

Without the reindeer? They are amazing creatures,

but they can't fly in space.

Luckily, though... auxiliary rocket boosters!

ALL: Woo-hoo!

Off I go! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Santa Rescue Squad, move out!

Santa Substitute Crew, go!

ALL: Whoa! Ah!

Controls are a bit sluggish. Jingle, check the fuses.

I see the problem.

We got a pwitty widdle fuzzy-fuzz! Yes, we do!

Kitty Claws! There you are, you naughty sweetums.

You brought a kitten on a dangerous mission?

I know, sorry. He's a troublemaker so you can't leave him alone,

and Ulav's allergic...

No, it's brilliant! We THRIVE on cute.

Jingle, look into getting us some Mission Kitties.

Ma'am, yes Ma'am!

B-T-dubs, your mom's secretly wanted one forever! Just saying.

In fact, I think the big red boss made sure you found that "stray".

Perfect gift, no?

She won't be any more trouble, promise.

She'll be safe right here in my...

And she's gone again!

Exiting atmosphere. Engage dome!

Yes, I'm almost there! Galactic domination for Christmas!

Thank you, Santa!

You're about to make this naughty boy VERY happy!

I remember a naughty boy who was sure that getting

a Li'l Mad Scientist Black Hole In A Bottle Kit

for Christmas would make him completely happy.

Shushy! I'm brain-draining here.

But, of course, naughty boys don't get what they want for Christmas,

which is supposed to teach them a lesson.

But THIS boy was...

And I mean this in the worst way possible.

...special.

GRUMBLES

He was so ticked off at me,

he walked to the North Pole to demand his present.

I was at spin class, so he found Mrs Claus at home instead.

He promised her that if she would give him

a Black Hole In A Bottle Kit, he would be a good boy forever,

and only use it for education purposes.

CHUCKLES

Talk stopping!

Of course, that boy didn't keep his promise, did he?

Because your wife gave me a defective Black Hole!

It collapsed in on itself before it even sucked up one lousy bully!

That's why I didn't keep my stupid promise!

It wasn't defective! They do that if you try to mis-use them.

Which you'd have known had you read the directions.

Of course, she knew all along how things would turn out.

No! What's happening? Gah!

Ho, Mrs C is crafty, all right.

She played you like a jingle bell.

ELECTRICAL HUMMING Ooh!

Argh! Oof!

Ah, what a magical holiday moment!

Whoopsie-doodle. Forgot the presents. Silly Santa!

MAGICAL TINKLING

This has to go perfectly.

Nothing matters more than a kid's Christmas!

Well, he's trying.

And he's got all the Christmas spirit in the world.

I was BORN for this!

Ha-ha-ha!

Ho, ho, ho!

Argh!

Huh?

MAGICAL TINKLING

Hm, hm, hm!

Stop dawdling, guys, we've got bliss to distribute! Argh!

GASPING

Did I just blow up the bliss? Ugh!

Wait, look, the presents got thrown clear.

Christmas is SAVED!

Approaching Gore's ship.

We're in.

So much coolness in a teeny-tiny package.

Oh, wait! Duh.

We can't let Gore see us!

Quigs, holo-makeover?

WHOOSHING

Three more booty-kicking Elf Commandos at your service!

But I still don't see how this can work.

This ship is an endless maze.

Quigley, we just need a little Christmas...

BELLS JINGLE

Santa's jingle bells!

They'll lead us straight to the big guy.

ALL: FA-LA-LA! Jingle all the way, baby!

The thing that nobody realises is

I don't want to not give a present to ANYBODY.

I know you're trying to distract me, but it's not gonna work!

Besides, Christmas is for weak losers

and you'll NEVER change my mind about that!

I was dying to give you the Junior Mutant Cloning Set

and the Intergalactic Tyrant Tabletop RPG.

But I couldn't, because you were so awful!

Argh! Look, I didn't wanna do this, but you leave me no choice.

Deploy reindeer flatulence nozzle!

Oh, no! Reindeer poot?

My one weakness!

Oh, Gore! You really are the naughtiest!

SPLUTTERING

ALARM BLARES

Intruders! Probably Santa's goons. Underlings!

We have an elf infestation! Get rid of them!

UNDERLINGS: Hup, hup, hup, hup!

GORE LAUGHING MANIACALLY

GASPING

WEAPONS POWER UP

Uh...

FIRE!

Hi-yah!

UNDERLINGS GROANING

Huh? Oh!

MAGICAL TINKLING

This'll be a full blown holiday wonderland when we're done!

No! Without the bells, we're lost in the maze.

Don't worry, Kitty Claws, we'll think of something!

Kitty Claws?

No! Argh!

Could you pick a worse time to wander off again?!

KITTY CLAWS PURRS, MEOWS

Kitty! STOP!

Ah-ha!

SNIFFS

Argh!

Ugh!

GASPING Santa!

KITTY CLAWS PURRS, MEWS

Let's get you out of here, stat!

Don't worry about me! Gore... in the control room.

He's got the naughty and nice list.

It can expose you as Agent 203!

I'll handle Gore. You find the elves and get back to the sleigh.

Wait! Let's disguise you as Mrs Claus.

It'll really freak him out. Why?

Gore and Mrs Claus have a history.

MAGICAL TINKLING

WHOOSHING

Now, here's what you say...

Decode faster, you hunk of junk!

Here it comes...!

Gore, that list does not belong to you!

You haven't changed one bit, have you?

Hmm, Mrs Claus, how did YOU get here?

You promised. You vowed to be good!

But were you? NO! You were a nasty, repulsive,

disgusting, repugnant, putrescent, revolting...

naughty, naughty boy!

And you're not even that good at being bad! Hmph!

Not even good at being bad?

How dare she?!

No-one in the galaxy is worse than... Huh?!

106th most naughty?!

It's not possible.

There's some mistake!

Wait, where's the rest of the naughty and nice list?

Someone must have...

203!

ALL: Santa!

BOTH: Zoe?

SANTA AND ZOE CHUCKLE

Yep.

WHOOSHING

Long story. I knew you'd come for me, Jangle.

We're not outta the woods yet, sir.

On board, people! One second.

SNAPS FINGERS

BELLS JINGLE

Team, let's go!

SANTA: Jolly good decorating, commandos! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

Argh! Hmm.

? Holy night... ?

Yeah-heh! Aw!

Ah!

EXCITED GIGGLING

It's... beautiful!

Merry Christmas, Commander Gore!

A ho-ho-whole galaxy for you to dominate!

Very funny, Santa.

GASPING

Woof! Looks like I got here just in time!

Santa! Hey, welcome back!

She's all yours. You've got presents to deliver.

WE'VE got presents to deliver.

I've got a lot of time to make up and I could use a little help

from the IA's best pilot!

GASPING

But let's take my ride.

I've got a special position just for you, my little friend.

Ho, ho, ho!

EXCITED CHIRRUPING

Actually, why don't you do the honours, Ulav?

You've earned it.

LAUGHTER

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

LAUGHTER

An ugly Christmas sweater!

Thanks, Ulav.

Here, Mom! This is for you.

Oh! Aw.

Oh, I love her so much!

KITTY CLAWS PURRS, MEWS

How on earth did you manage to keep this a surprise?

Oh, it was easy. She wasn't any trouble at all!

Hmm, wait. I don't remember playing this one!

A secret Christmas present for my favourite young lady.

Whenever you find it, just remember how much your dad loves you, kiddo.

Merry Christmas, Zoe.

A new charm!

Activate Snow Globe Charm.

WHOOSHING

Merry Christmas, Dad.

KITTY CLAWS MEOWS

And Merry Christmas to you, too, Kitty Claws!

LAUGHTER

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