Original subtitles

? I was a normal girl Before my dad went missing

? Then his alien partner appeared

? You've got to save the galaxy. There's a madman, Gore, you see

? You've got to stop him Now

? Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm just a kid, why me? And how?

? See that bracelet from your dad?

? It's got secret powers What's that?

? If Gore should get it That's the key

? To set my evil army free

? I'll gather my friends She's Agent 203

? Now she can protect the world

? It's Agent 203 Agent 203. ?

And there!

IA expense reports filed, with a month to spare.

I am a master of paperwork!

I wouldn't be surprised if IA offered me a promotion.

PHONE RINGS, HE SCREAMS

Ugh, what now? They better not be saddling me with MORE paperwork.

Oh! Or maybe someone's getting a promotion!

Gah! HE CLEARS THROAT

Hello, this is IA agent... 'Ulav!

'What in the Skull Nebula is going on down there?'

Director Skorsh-Orsh-Orsh!

Uh... Well, I just submitted my office's expense reports,

but you're right, we shouldn't waste so many credits on chewing gum.

'Please, Earth's chewing gums are renowned across the galaxy,

'no-one blames you for stocking up.'

Well, then, maybe I should buy more?

'This isn't about gum, Ulav. It's about Agent 203!'

Um... What? 'Your partner!

'My office is being flooded with calls

'from royal families across the galaxy,

'all saying that Agent 203

'has been scamming them out of their royal jewels!'

What?! 'That's what I said. But louder and with more intensity.'

But... this doesn't make any sense!

Agent 203's never even been to deep space.

And she's certainly not a thief.

'I've got 100 angry royal voicemails that would disagree with you.'

Don't worry, I'll get to the bottom of this.

'I'd hope so, Ulav.

'Because IA rules says I have to take the badge of any agents

'in violation of intergalactic law, like 203 seems to be,

'and anyone abetting them, which means you.

'So see that you get this sorted out,

'or start looking for a new job!'

Zoe, an intergalactic thief? There's no way... right?

And then it turned out it was her the whole time!

No, the best part was when Marina Asteroid

had to swap the jewel of Neptune with a bag of moon dust.

Zoe? Huh?

Is everything all right? Uh... yes. I mean, no.

I mean... Uh...

Everybody thinks you're a jewel thief

and the universe hates you.

What?! That's what I said. But louder and more confused.

Uh-oh. Ulav's right. IA just sent over their dossier.

Apparently Agent 203's been swindling planets

out of their royal families' jewels?

No, I haven't! There must be some mistake. This is insane!

Wait, there's a security camera picture of the culprit! Mm-hm.

Mm-hm. I can kind of see it.

Ulav, that's just a grey blob, it could be anything!

Wait, Quigley, what are you doing?

I'm blurring all the pictures in the IA mugshot database.

OK... and how does that help us?

ZOE GASPS Of course!

Now we just have to find the blur that matches our blur!

There! Found our match!

Now to switch it back.

Voila!

She looks familiar.

How can anyone think that's me? I don't look anything like that!

Well, how would anyone know that?

Nobody outside IA even knows you exist!

Except for Gore, but he doesn't know what you look like either.

Now does our mystery woman have a name? "Kexx Ooloo".

She's got a rap sheet as long as my arm. Kexx Ooloo?

I thought she looked familiar! I know her!

You do? Yes!

Your dad and I arrested her several times

for impersonating heads of state,

bank presidents, jewel inspectors, you name it.

She's up to her old tricks again. Now she's impersonating you.

But she doesn't know about me. Right.

She doesn't know that you're 203 or that you even exist,

but she does know your dad was 202.

She just picked the next number.

We can't have someone out there pretending to be Agent 203.

Unbelievable!

I can't show my face as 203 anywhere,

but this faker's out there doing it for me?

If IA keeps getting calls about Zoe, she'll be kicked out of the service.

And me, too! We have to catch Kexx, but how?

Wait! Quigley, the Marina Asteroid movie,

remember how she lured the space bandits into a trap

by pretending to be a wealthy tourist

and flashing fake money around?

Of course! We'll set a trap!

A trap? Yeah!

We'll pretend to be a royal family

from some far-away planet living on Earth.

Then we can arrest Kexx when she shows up to rob us!

I've always wanted to be a king!

But... we don't have a palace.

Hmm. Ah!

I told you that renting a party house

on a weekday would be cheap!

Ah, at least it didn't blow our annual mission budget.

No, but these supplies probably did.

Ooh, flawless silver,

rich Corinthian leather, spotless gold!

Ooh! This place is gonna look better than a REAL palace!

Don't get too attached to it, this stuff is going back

to the auction house after we've arrested Kexx.

So, Rock... we're gonna need an alien prince.

Oh, uh, I don't know about that. I'm not much of an actor.

There's a chunk of Saturn's ring in it for you.

HE GASPS Where's my crown?

Ha-ha!

HE STRAINS Hold still!

HE SCREAMS, GROANS

All right. Ha-ha!

Mm, yep! SHE CHUCKLES

All right. Hyah!

Guys, we look great! So does this palace.

The luxury goods really add some pizazz!

And it's all going back!

This costume jewellery would even fool me!

You know, at a distance.

Yeah, I even built a tracker into one.

You know, plan B, in case she does somehow steal it and escapes.

Ha! Not in a million years!

Hm. Hmm...

Now we just need to get Kexx to show up.

Leave that to me.

What's up, loyal subjects and followers?

King Ulverona here. We're back!

After my family got exiled, we relocated to Earth.

We can't wait to show you our new pad.

ALL: Hi! Shh!

More royal, people! POSH ACCENT: Well, hello.

We're loving it here, so let me show you our fabulous palace.

Follow me.

Hey, Dad, why don't you show them the custom-made treasure chest

where we keep all our priceless family heirlooms?

I'm obsessed, guys.

Good idea, daughter!

Yep, it's all here guys.

We love being able to wear priceless jewels any place and any time.

Ha-ha! Oh, uh, yeah, let's have this bling to hand.

No vaults here.

That's all for now, everyone.

Join us next time for a tour of our remodelled kitchen

and the solid gold mayonnaise warmer we just had commissioned!

Remember to like, comment and share. Ulverona out!

Nailed it. Even I wanted to burgle us!

Now we wait. For how long?

Oh, not long.

Kexx keeps a pretty close eye on the space-net to case her targets.

I'd say we should expect a visit from her in...

KEXX GROWLS

Your Royal Highness.

My name is Agent 203,

and I come to you from the IA.

Grr!

Greetings, Agent 203!

What brings you to my humble palace?

The IA has caught wind of a band of jewel thieves

travelling the galaxy,

robbing innocent royal families of their jewels.

THEY GASP

You mean like our precious royal jewels

that we keep in this very room in an unlocked chest?

HE GASPS ALL: Uh...

Your Highness, it's my job to ensure your jewels are safe.

The only way to do that

is to take them back to IA headquarters,

where they can be guarded.

It's for their own protection.

Well, I don't love the idea of parting with the heirlooms.

You know what, Dad? Agent 203 has such an honest look about her,

I say hand them over for safekeeping.

Imagine... if they actually DID get stolen!

You can't possibly complete an outfit without jewels! Oh!

Yes, please give the jewels to Agent 203, father!

She looks so honest and trustworthy!

OK, hand them over, Prince Rollo.

Agent 203, thank you for your protection.

WHISPERS: We can make our arrest as soon as she takes them.

Allow me, brother.

So, Agent 203, have you been working at the IA for long?

Zoe, what are you doing?

Um, yes, Your Highness. Ten years.

That's a long time. You must have known your predecessor, Agent 202.

Hmm? I'm afraid not.

Our numbers are assigned at random.

I see.

Heh-heh, let's not keep the good agent waiting, my dear.

Please hand over the... THEY GASP

I'm Valdo the Destroyer!

By order of the Malorkian royal family,

Agent 203 is coming with me, dead or alive!

And I'd prefer alive, it's not as messy. Excuse me?

She stole all of Malorkia's precious space-rubies.

Now hand her over!

Uh-oh. Not today, sister.

My transporter control!

The only place you're transporting to is my ship's holding cell.

THEY GRUNT Gah!

Hey! Come down here! Make me.

THEY GRUNT

What do we do? Here's what we do - nothing!

Let this Valdo guy take Kexx.

He'll throw her in prison, we'll be free of her.

Problem is, we still need to clear Agent 203's name!

Thanks, Ulav. You're right!

If Valdo takes her, everyone will still think 203's a thief.

THEY GRUNT

Whoa!

IA needs to take her in, or it's all over.

I'll take care of it. How?

Politely.

You're under arrest. Let go of me!

Make me. Ahem!

Forgive me, Mr... The Destroyer.

I hate to interrupt,

but Agent 203 is, at the moment, in my family's palace.

That means she's under our protection.

I'm afraid you can't have her.

If you want Agent 203, you'll have to take her from me.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Hyah! HE GRUNTS

KEXX GRUNTS

Ugh! Going somewhere, Agent 203?

Thank you for your family's generous protection your Highness,

but I don't need it.

No, what you need is a space lawyer.

It's me, Agent Ulav from the Intergalactic Agency,

and you're under arrest, Kexx! Uh, again!

SHE CACKLES Oh, Ulav!

I missed you. I missed outsmarting you, too.

SHE GRUNTS, THEY SCREAM

QUIGLEY: She's getting away! Hyah!

I am Strag the Annihilator, from the planet Colodo!

I demand that you release Agent 203 into my custody.

She stole all of Colodo's diamond boulders, and we demand vengeance!

Get in line, pal. 203's mine! You know what?

I'm much too royal for this. You guys can have her.

THEY GRUNT

Get off of me!

I know how to bring people together.

ROCK: Nuh-uh! Nice try!

Give it up, Kexx. You're not going to disappear on us this time.

You mean like your old partner?

Tell me, Ulav, whatever happened to Agent 202?

THEY GRUNT Watch it, Kexx.

THEY STRUGGLE

THEY GASP, KEXX CHUCKLES

Mwah! See you, agent. Hah!

She's getting away! After her!

SHE GASPS No!

We can't let a bunch of alien bounty hunters battle it out in town!

Zoe! Wait for us!

I was so enjoying being a king.

You stop those bounty hunters. I'll handle Kexx!

SHE GRUNTS

Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

ROCK CHUCKLES Zoe! Wait for...

Waaaaait!

Get away! You're slowing me down!

You're slowing ME down! Scram!

Ha!

THEY GRUNT

KEXX LAUGHS Oh!

Whoa!

BOTH: Huh?

DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

I've got to go faster. Activate Rocket Charm!

Um, you married?

Yeah.

Kids?

Two. You?

Fifty-four. Huh?

BOTH: Huh? THEY GRUNT

Kexx! Ugh!

Whoa!

Princess Zaphne, was it?

You don't fight like a princess. Because I'm not.

I'm the real Agent 203, and you're under arrest!

Get in line, kid.

THEY GRUNT

A-ha!

Hey, Strag! Heads up!

HE SCREAMS

HE GROANS

THEY GRUNT

ZOE CRIES OUT, KEXX GROANS

THEY GRUNT

Nothing escapes a black hole, not even light.

And especially not 203.

So let's see her escape my Black Hole Blaster!

Time to fly. KEXX CACKLES

ZOE GROANS

Kexx!

Watch out! Ha-ha! Mwah!

KEXX CACKLES, GRUNTS

ZOE GASPS

She's gone.

Yeah, there's no coming back from a black hole.

Black Hole Blaster works every time. THEY PANT

Where did you get that thing? Space-net.

So that's it, then.

Wait. What's that? A bracelet?

She must have dropped it. Let me see that.

Picked up some trace elements of her DNA.

Says here she was a con-woman named Kexx Ooloo.

Wasn't IA after all.

You mean to tell me that Agent 203 - if she even does exist -

is completely innocent? Uh, yeah, that's right.

Wow!

That sounds like the sort of thing you'd want to tell everybody!

Why bother? Whoever she was, she's gone. Our job is done.

But the jewels she stole...

Not my problem. I eliminated the culprit.

We're bounty hunters, not errand boys.

We failed.

I wanted to bring Kexx in and clear my name,

not push her into a black hole.

You didn't push her, Zoe. It wasn't your fault.

No, it was ours.

If we'd been able to stop Valdo, he wouldn't have...

Stop. It's over.

And there's nothing we can do to change it.

Come on, let's get back to the palace.

Be sure to scrub out all those scorch marks,

or we won't get our deposit back.

What about this giant hole in the window? On it! Hm!

Seriously?

OK, I'll fix it tomorrow.

Hey, has anyone seen Zoe?

Well, Dad, I couldn't catch Kexx.

I guess I still have a lot to learn about being an agent.

BEEPING Huh?

'That was quite a ruse you pulled, kid.

'I don't like being fooled.' Kexx?

'What, you didn't think a little thing like a black hole

'was gonna keep me down, did you?'

I... 'That wasn't a real question.

'See you around, kid.

'Oh, and don't try tracing this call, it's encrypted.

'Learned that one from your partner.'

There she is. Were you on a call?

Yeah. It was Kexx.

ALL: What?! She escaped somehow.

Maybe a ship beamed her up just in time, I don't know.

We're wasting time, let's trace the call! No need.

I put a tracker on her. Ha-ha!

ZOE CRIES OUT, KEXX GROANS

Ha-ha!

THEY LAUGH Thought it might come in handy.

I've got the deep space coordinates.

She's on a ship entering the Skull Nebula.

Of course she is. I hate that place.

Call it in!

Ha!

203 was as determined to bring me in as 202 used to be.

I just hope there isn't a 204.

Wha...? Huh?

SHIP: 'Kexx Ooloo, by the galactic authority of IA,

'you're under arrest!

'Initiating tractor beam.' No, no, no!

SHE SCREAMS

'You guys were amazing!

'I actually had a queen apologise to me today

'for accusing IA of being a crime syndicate!

'Do you know what that's like?'

Uh, amazing? 'Amazing!

'Keep up the good work! And 203...'

Yes, Director Skorsh-Orsh-Orsh?

'..I'm proud of you.'

I'm proud of you, too. Here, you deserve this.

What is it? Some gum!

THEY LAUGH

Dad, we got Kexx today, and Ulav helped me just like he helped you.

In a weird way, it makes me feel closer to you,

knowing that you and I have completed the same mission...

even if it wasn't at the same time.

Still, I'm glad we've seen the last of her.

And just for the record, if being an agent doesn't work out,

I would totally be OK with being a princess!

Good night, Dad.

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