Original subtitles

Dearest Mother, up in Heaven,

In this girls' dorm, there's a place I'm forbidden to enter.

The communal bath.

Some time ago I turned the bath water completely red with my nosebleed,

which upset God very much.

Ever since then, I've been prohibited to enter the area.

Wahaha!

Ha . ha . ha!

Right now I am in the study hall.

It's separated by a single wall from the bath, also known as Heaven.

Summer vacation is almost over.

I must finish everything before that anticipated day!

Question 2011

Enter correct kanji characters in the box

"Your joke is [ ]."

Ambiguous

Beautiful Breast

I'm done!

Clack

Japanese

Summer Drill

This year again I'll be able to commemorate that day.

The last day of summer vacation.

It's Miyamae Kanako's birthday!

I want you all to be filthy sows!

I want you all to be filthy sows!

I want you all to be filthy sows!

I want you all to be filthy sows!

I want you all to be filthy sows!

Run

run

ri

ru

How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?

Lan

lan

la

la

An angel is passing by

An angel is passing by

An angel is passing by

Run

run

ri

ru

In a pretty bouquet

In a pretty bouquet

In a pretty bouquet

Nests the bee called love

Honestly, crazy love

Is paradise

Is paradise

Is paradise

Go, go, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

Hey, people! Hey, people!

Hey, people! Hey, people!

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Fair maidens in the shade on a sunny afternoon

Tenderly ripening in a miraculous fantasy

Tenderly ripening in a miraculous fantasy

Tenderly ripening in a miraculous fantasy

Tenderly ripening in a miraculous fantasy

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

Ah, my racing pulse!

I anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

I anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

I anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

I anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

I wait, wait, wait

I wait, wait, wait

I wait, wait, wait

Through this crimson squall

Through this crimson squall

Honestly, crazy love

Is paradise

Is paradise

Is paradise

Go, go, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

A pounding, grinding sadist

What a Beauty Parasite

What a Beauty Parasite

What a Beauty Parasite

What a Beauty Parasite

One more time, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

Hey, people!

Hey, people!

Hey, people!

Hey, people!

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Run

run

ri

ru

How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?

Lan

lan

la

la

An angel is passing by

An angel is passing by

An angel is passing by

Run

run

ri

ru

In a pretty bouquet

In a pretty bouquet

Maria Holic

Alive

In a pretty bouquet

Lan

lan

la

la

La!

Oink!

Oink!

Final Episode

Kanako's Birthday

August 31st?

Oh, "I love you" day.

8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning.

That's pretty straightforward, isn't it?

No, that's not it!

August 31st is more important than that!

Don't you know, Mariya, Matsurika?

Is that the day when Malaysia gained independence from England?

I think Jack the Ripper's first murder was on that day as well.

No, that's not it! It's a birthday!

Oh, you mean the birthday of the 17th Roman Emperor, Commmodus?

The 3rd Roman Emperor, Caligula, shares the same birthday too.

I can't help but think that you guys are doing this on purpose...

Miyamae Kanako

Miyamae Kanako

Miyamae Kanako

Miyamae Kanako

Miyamae Kanako

Snap

Miyamae Kanako

Snap

Snap

Snap

Miyamae Kanako

Snap

Snap

Snap

Miyamae Kanako

Snap

Snap

Snap

Miyamae Kanako

Snap

Snap

Snap

Miyamae Kanako

No, that's not it! It's my birthday!

Miyamae Kanako's birthday!

But you know what?

I'm not surprised that no one remembers my birthday.

Still, I've been mentioning it every chance I get...

That's right. I might not look it, but I'm a Virgo.

Born on August 31st.

I always try to finish all my summer assignments early

because August 31st is my birthday.

Miyamae Kanako's... birthday is... August 31st...

Shut up!

But I still want everyone to celebrate it.

I'm not asking for an extravagant party like Sachi's, but...

It's not too late yet.

Anyway, I've got to do what I've got to do!

Special Summer Course

But it's kind of too late to come out and say it.

How can I let them know about it in a roundabout way?

Hey, you guys know about the cafeteria menu survey that's coming up?

I've been thinking about requesting charcoal grilled meat and stuff.

Hey, grilled meat sounds good! Like Chateaubriand?

Chateaubriand...

The best part of the cow; each only yields about 800 grams.

Neck

Shoulder Rank

Shoulder

Rib

Shank

Thick Rank

Short Rib Rank

Filet

Filet

Round tip

Filet

Sirloin

Thigh

Shank

Rump

No, that's not it! I'm talking about tongue! Tongue!

Tongue? You mean, cow tongue?

That's right! And I'm not talking about some low quality meat.

Only the best products from Mother Earth for Ame-no-Kisaki!

Several styles would be available, each on a different day!

Combo A

Traditional Sauce

Combo A could have traditional sauce while Combo B would be cooked with green onions and salt!

Combo B

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

I would anxiously await B-Earth-Day every week!

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

Green Onion and Salt

B-Earth-Day?

That's right! The B-Earth-Day combo, or just B-Earth-Day for short.

I know, it sort of sounds like one of those slogans used during the bubble economy.

Kanako?

Hey, Honoka!

What is it, Miyamae?

Who was that really good foreign pinch hitter that played for the Tigers with the number 44?

Oh, I think I've heard about him from my father.

Oh...

If I remember correctly, I think his name was "Bass".

That's right! It's Bass!

And I've heard that there's a pretty girl who looks just like Bass in Class D!

Bass, D!

Bass

Bass D...

What?

Are you all right, Miyamae?

Yeah... I had a little nosebleed again.

But I'm okay.

I just need to take a short bre—

Miyamae?

Good Luck, Kanako!

Kanako's Birthday is August 31

What's this?

I confiscated this from Miyamae because she was scribbling in it during class.

Surrealism... How avant-garde.

No, that's not it. Look.

Kanako's Birthday is August 31

Subliminal messaging, huh?

The message inserted in the cut-off animation gets imprinted

into the subconscious of the one who sees it.

Its effectiveness is questionable.

She went to such lengths to let everyone know about her birthday.

So that's why Kanako has been acting strange lately.

It was too roundabout to figure out.

Hey, why don't we throw a nice birthday party for Kanako?

August 31

That's a good idea.

Well, all right then.

Let's celebrate it for her.

Wait a minute.

Shouldn't we keep this a secret from her and make it a surprise party?

Next Day

Hey, Kanako!

Do you have any plans for the last day of summer vacation?

What? On the 31st?

I-I'm free of course, but why?

Oh, nothing.

Smile

See ya.

There it is! This must be a surprise party!

For example, on August 30th late at night,

they ask me to come out to the swimming pool.

Indoor Swimming Pool

Indoor Swimming Pool

And the moment the clock strikes 12...

Happy Birthday, Kanako!

A myriad of beautiful girls wearing their school swimsuits greet me from the sides of the pool!

Happy birthday, Kanako!

Let's have a cavalry battle in the pool!

Miyamae!

Like that?

I see. August 31st is Miyamae's birthday.

That's right.

It came to me when I saw the numbers "8-31" in the courtyard written in blood,

which looked like it was done by Kanako.

That's right, Yonakuni.

It's depressing to be alone on your birthday.

Why don't we celebrate her birthday with the members of the Second Girls' Dorm?

Yes, and why don't we make it a surprise party?

The Second Girls' Dorm

Cafeteria

munch

munch

munch

munch

munch

munch

munch

munch

Kanako.

Do you have any plans for the last day of summer vacation?

What? On the 31st?

I-I'm free of course, but why?

Here we go again!

Is it possible that everyone from the dorm is planning a surprise party for me?

Miyamae!

I'll make an exception today and open up the public bath to you!

Come on, everyone!

Let's celebrate the day Miyamae entered this world

by donning our birthday suits!

Like that? Like that?

Now that I think about it, August 31st is—

August

—the day the Anglo-Russian Entente helped establish The Triple Entente?

Anglo Russian Entente

Franco Russian Alliance

Anglo French Entente

Anglo Russian Entente

signed 31 August 1907

Franco Russian Alliance

Anglo French Entente

Anglo Russian Entente

signed 31 August 1907

Franco Russian Alliance

Anglo French Entente

Anglo Russian Entente

signed 31 August 1907

Yeah, that too...

but if I remember correctly it's also Kana's birthday.

Why don't we invite Ayari, Natsuru, and my brother

and throw a party for her?

I see.

If we do it, I think a surprise party would be nice.

Kanako, who doesn't know anything, shows up in the courtyard.

First she falls into the booby trap...

Then gunshots ring out!

It's nice to surprise her,

but that doesn't sound like a celebration.

C

L

A

K

Shizu!

What? My plans on the 31st?

Of course I'm free!

Shizu?

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Come to my room Shizu

Kana, I'm your birthday gift...

You can devour me...

Wait! The one Miyamae is going to devour is me!

That's not fair, Ayari!

Me, too!

Like that? Like that? Like that?

She's hopeless.

Her delusions increasingly resemble those of an old man.

Next Day

Dearest Mama, up in Heaven,

How are you doing as the end of the summer nears?

August

I've heard that the last day of summer vacation is the birthday of my student, Miyamae Kanako.

Miyamae's brother, who died from Tchaikovsky Syndrome,

must wish he could celebrate it with her too.

Thus I must celebrate it with her, on behalf of her brother!

From Kanae Touichirou

On August 31, I'll be waiting for you at the church.

On August 31, I'll be waiting for you at the church.

P.S. Bring Shidoh and Shinouji with you, if you don't mind.

P.S. Bring Shidoh and Shinouji with you, if you don't mind.

Father Kanae, too? Why?

What's the matter?

Have you received some ominous letter or something?

No!

This means there are many people out there

who would celebrate my birthday, even if you don't want to celebrate it!

Putting Father Kanae beside,

I have Sachi, Ryuken, and Shizu celebrating it for me!

Oh, but which party should I go to?

I can't decide!

I wish everyone could stagger the party's starting time accordingly.

She really is without a care in the world.

Yes, even more so because her birthday is right around the corner.

Dearest Mother, up in Heaven.

Dearest Mother, up in Heaven.

It looks like my birthday is going to be wild this year.

It looks like my birthday is going to be wild this year.

The special cake with the special ingredient...

As soon as I eat it...

Summer vacation finally ends today.

Dearest Mother, up in Heaven,

Dearest Mother,

up in Heaven.

August 31st, the day I've been waiting for, is finally here.

Well, it's here...

Everyone asked about my plans for today,

But I still haven't received any specific invitation.

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

All I've received was that letter from Father Kanae

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

From Kanae Touichirou

Population on the rise! Gay female writer Sanemi Barakoji's fan event is coming up!!

August 31 .........10:00~18:00 @Tokyo Bikkuri Site

and a direct mail from Lesbefriends Monthly.

No.

It's too early to give up, Kanako,

because that's usually how things go with surprise parties, right?

Because . . .

For example, as I open the door to summer class,

I will hear the popping sounds of poppers,

followed by the "Happy Birthday" song!

Happy Birthday!

Special Summer Course

coming soon

Delusional Warrior

Miyamae Kanako AGE

Oh, good morning, Kanako!

Or, it could happen in the middle of the class.

Out of nowhere, my friends will rush into the classroom, holding a birthday cake.

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

wriggle wriggle wriggle

All right, this is it for this year's summer course!

It's strange. Is it possible that today is not August 31st?

Gregorian Calendar

Lunar Calendar

Maybe Ame-no-Kisaki uses the old calendar and not the Gregorian one?

No, it's still too early to give up.

As soon as I go back to my room, I will hear the popping sounds of poppers!

As soon as I enter the cafeteria, the "Happy Birthday" song will suddenly resonate!

Congratulations!

As soon as I enter the public bath,

those naked Venuses will surround me with cheers!

Congratulations!

Why... Isn't this supposed to be a surprise party?

Why is no one celebrating?

Why?!

What do you do now, Kanako?

Are you going to check out the church before you decide to spend your birthday alone?

On August 31, I'll be waiting for you at the church.

Nope, that ain't happening.

I'd rather go to the Sapphic event at the Tokyo Bikkuri Site!

Population on the rise! Gay female writer Sanemi Barakoji's fan event is coming up!!

August 31 ..........10:00~18:00 @Tokyo Bikkuri Site

If I leave now, I can still make it in time!

But is that what you really want, Kanako?

Oh, Dearest Mother, up in Heaven, what should I do now?

Ping!

Ping!

Oh, I know!

If they're not throwing me a surprise party, I'll surprise them instead!

I'm going to hide inside the public bath and as soon as everyone starts coming in...

What the hell are you doing here?

Mariya!

What's the matter?

I thought lots of your friends were going to celebrate your birthday today.

L-Leave me alone!

I was just having a hard time deciding which party I should go to!

What's this?

Wait! Don't do it!

What?

That's why I told you not to do it!

Are you okay?

Don't touch me! I'm going to break out in hives!

I'd never have thought that a space like this existed underneath the Second Girls' Dorm.

What a surprise.

Surprise, my ass!

What's going on?

Why do I have to be with Mariya in a place like this on my birthday?!

No one wants to celebrate it for me!

This sucks!

Would you stop blaming others for everything already?

First of all, it's your fault that you have to spend your birthday alone!

Wh-Why is it my fault?

Who the hell told everyone that you're free on August 31st,

Smile

when people like Momoi Sachi asked what your plans were for that day?

Well, that's...

And the invitation from Father Kanae...

From Kanae Touichirou

I understand that he's not exactly the person you want an invitation from,

On August 31, I'll be waiting for you at the church.

but he still wanted to celebrate it for you out of the goodness from his heart.

And tell me who hasn't even responded to his invitation yet?

Father Kanae could be waiting for you at the church,

with a popper in his hand, wearing a party hat right now!

What's so funny?

You've trampled on the goodwill of Father Kanae and everyone else!

Don't you think your frivolousness is the very reason why your birthday turned out this way?

Fine.

I'll go to the church and apologize to Father Kanae...

And I'll go to the Sapphic event at the Tokyo Bikkuri Site after that!

I see you never change.

Is this the good ol' expanding seaweed?

Just Add Water

Made in Japan

Expanding Seaweed

It seems so.

So that means...

No!

The hot water from earlier must've soaked the seaweed that was stored underground!

Why is this happening underground?!

Matsurika! Kanako!

Now we can buy ourselves some time.

The rash!

Do Not Enter

Do Not Enter

Damn, it's a dead end!

Wait! There's something here.

Do Not Enter

It feels like I've seen this somewhere before.

Could this be...

Why don't you insert a coin?

A coin?

There it is!

Rindoh Rindoh Rindoh

Rindoh Rindoh Rindoh

Rindoh Rindoh Rindoh

This must be the "He's Coming" slot machine!

That combination must mean...

Rindoh Rindoh Rindoh

Do Not Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

Do No t Enter

o No t En

Hello there!

I'm Deus Ex Machina Rindoh!

\h\hToday's Deus Ex Machina

The Blazing Wind of the Battlefield!

Rindoh, moving out!

A very nice role.

We'd better go now.

Thank you, Deus Ex Machina Rindoh!

I swear I'll get out of here alive!

I must go and apologize to Father Kanae!

Kanako...

What now?

It's that cute pet of yours, Kanako.

What a mysterious creature.

Mariya dumped it on me!

Obviously, it has grown well and multiplied.

It looks like it's my turn this time.

What?

Matsurika, you come with me too.

Mariya!

Oh, no...

Matsurika!

Don't worry about us! Just go!

But...

Hurry!

Hang in there, Mariya and Matsurika!

I'll go and get help right away!

I can get out of here if I climb this!

What?

Happy Birthday, Kanako!

Happy Birthday!

Is this the surprise party?

We found out that everyone was planning a surprise party for you on the same day,

so my brother suggested that we all get together and throw a big party for you.

Mariya did that?

Hmph.

They're spoiling you, if you ask me,

but I suppose your birthday only comes around once a year after all.

Mariya...

Happy birthday, Kanako.

This is a present for you!

The hives!

Dearest Mother, up in Heaven.

It doesn't look like I'll find the love of my life anytime soon,

but I have met so many people who are very dear to me

Happy Birthday, Kanako!

here at Ame-no-Kisaki.

Thank you so much for watching! Please look forward to Minari Endoh's next offering!

My heart still beats crazy fast and I have dirty dreams

The best thing, I'd say, are little girls with glasses

They should love you not quite innocently

Kneel down here, you're so beautiful

Sorry folks, that's not how it goes, I'm so excited

LOVE Ah... in this weird world

LOVE Ah... in this weird world

LOVE Ah... in this weird world

LOVE Ah... in this weird world

LOVE Ah... in this weird world

Swirling (Twisting)

Wakame... (Tororo...) It's all so sticky!

Who cares, who cares, I'll manage

All I can think of are beautiful girls

Who cares, who cares, you wouldn't understand

Look, can't you see how sad I am?

Who cares, who cares, that's a waste of time

Ah, all my regrets... see what lies down there

Who cares, who cares, the future is what counts

No matter how far you go, it's all just imaginary

Maria Holic Movie!

Look at main character Miyamae Kanako's ripped body.

Her chest muscles are just amazing!

It starts off with the monolith's scene.

Kanako's great army is driving the swarming apes out!

Actually, Kanako is a gynoid.

She's a cyborg.

In this movie,

Kanako's machine side takes over and becomes a victim.

You can't miss it!

Commentator

Well, we'll see you later!