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Original subtitles

Last time, as a result of your poor judgment and selfish justifications, you committed a severe crime.

Thus, your right to speak in this episode has been revoked.

Dearest Mom and Pops,

and sometimes Pochi, Tama, Yoshio,

Gorimura, Antoinette, and everyone else.

I've come here all the way from Osaka.

I'm here to tell the girl I love something important.

Ame-No-Kisaki Junior and High School Academy for Girls

I want you all to be filthy sows!

Run

run

How do you do?

Lan

lan

An angel is passing by

Run

run

In a pretty bouquet

Nests the bee called love

Honestly, crazy love

Is paradise

Go, go, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

Hey, people! Hey, people!

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Fair maidens in the shade on a sunny afternoon

Tenderly ripening in a miraculous fantasy

Ah, my racing pulse!

I anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

I wait, wait, wait

Through this crimson squall

Honestly, crazy love

Is paradise

Go, go, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

A pounding, grinding sadist

What a Beauty Parasite

One more time, sparkling assault!

Disappointed, going down with the ship

Hey, people!

Out of the way! Dance, Kieselbach! Woo...

Run

run

How do you do?

Lan

lan

An angel is passing by

Run

run

In a pretty bouquet

Maria Holic

Alive

In a pretty bouquet

Lan

lan

La!

Oink!

Chapter 9

The Precocious Fiancé

Stand!

Bow!

Special Summer Lessons

Ishima! Do you remember saying we would go to the bookstore today?

Did you get permission to go off campus?

Of course, Chifumi.

Let's have lunch while we're out as well.

After all, taking a break from studying is important.

It's been a while, so I want to have my fill of hamburgers and other fast food!

How unhealthy!

Besides, you don't need to study for—

What the...?

You look like a Papuwa golden stag beetle!

Papuwa golden stag beetle

You're a bug in a stag beetle's shell!

Don't treat me like a kid!

I'm already 10! I'm more than than old enough to take you on!

If your stag beetle lives up to five years, that makes you a nice breeder!

Why is this young man here talking about stag beetles?

Ha!

Stag Beetle

Classification:

Scientific Name: Dorcus hopei binodulosus

Class: Insecta Order: Coleoptera

Family: Lucanidae Genus: Dorcus

Length: Male: 21.0 to 76.7mm, Female: 22.0 to 48.0mm

A bettle previously called the "black diamond" and traded at high value. These days they are relatively easy to obtain but difficult for beginners to spot in the wild.

The stag beetles he speaks of are probably of class Insecta, order Coleoptera, family Lucanidae,

genus Dorcus - the Dorcus hopei binodulosus.

They are easily bred and often kept as pets.

Breed! Don't tell me this kid wants to...

This is a girls' school, men are not—

You dimwit! I'm a kid!

Don't mistake me for some creepy adult.

But you just said not to treat you like a kid.

When did I say that?

Keep up with the times, old man. You're stuck in the past.

Old Man?!

You're the man here, pops.

You're a real beast, aren't ya?

Is it all right to let a dangerous animal like you on the loose?

I-I am a priest!

I may be a man, but I'm not a dangerous man!

Police! There's a pedophile here!

You misunderstand! If there is love, then age doesn't matter!

Touta?

Touta? What are you doing here?

Touta?

Huh? You know him, Ishima?

Pretty girl, not so much, pretty girl, pretty girl.

Wow, these city girls sure are refined!

Except for that one...

Thank you, blond babe.

Your smooth talk is what got me visiting rights, yeah?

Please, think nothing of it.

A guest of Ishima is a guest of mine.

Say, what is your relation to Ishima?

Her younger brother? A cousin?

Oh, I haven't introduced myself.

My name is Hanabusa Touta.

I'm an elementary school student.

I'm Ryuken's future husband.

Gleeeam

You mean, her fiancé?!

Gleeeam

Hold on, Ishima! What does this mean?

Have you begun your romance?

Oh, my! We have to celebrate!

Chifumi, calm down.

When's the ceremony?

Who was your matchmaker?

You gonna do the ladybug samba?!

Chifumi. Fine, let's have hamburgers for lunch.

Well, well. Characters certainly do change through love, don't they?

Satsuki usually isn't the type to so inelegantly confront someone.

Hello.

I will be your commentator on the emotional behavior of our Kanako,

who has been banned from speaking this time.

My name is Shinouji Rindoh.

And I am his assistant, God.

Now then, please enjoy your feature presentation.

So, you may be Ishima's fiancé, but what brought you here to Ame-no-Kisaki?

The N700 Nozomi train.

No, that's not what I meant.

There aren't any tickets at the coupon shop near Shin-Osaka Station,

so I bought 'em near the north entrance of Nishinakajima-Minamigata Station.

So, Ryuken...

Ryuken...

Commentator Rindoh, seeing Ryuken being addressed so casually

has clearly made Miyamae's expression twist with bloodlust, hasn't it?

Yes. I'm sure the proletariat made this same face as they prepared to rise up in revolt.

Revolt, you say?

My, such a terrible thing.

It certainly was reckless of them to go start fights using common tools in place of weapons.

Yes.

There were even guerrillas who launched night raids

and laid bamboo traps oh-so-expertly.

Oh dorm mistress, it's as if you were there when it happened.

Aah ha ha ha ha

Hyah hyah hyah hyah

God sees everything.

Now then...

We shall be leaving, so why don't the two of you go for a stroll on the campus grounds?

Huh?! But there are still things I want to ask!

That won't do, Satsuki.

We must go to the shooting range.

You're right.

The intermural matches are coming up.

Ishima, we'll go to the bookstore tomorrow.

Go update your permission slip.

Ah! My apologies.

Well, I'll just leave you two youngsters alone.

Oh! A brilliant play out of nowhere!

That's the captain for you.

We thought she was becoming an unsightly character, but she changed gears!

And Kanako has been forcibly removed from the field!

Oh, my. She seems frustrated, doesn't she?

She's like a child throwing a tantrum in the toy shop, minus the cuteness.

"Her fiancé?! You little runt!"

"The only ones worthy of standing next to Ryuken are pretty girls of my liking!"

...or so she seems to want to say.

In any case, she is currently forbidden from speaking.

Still, Kanako has an unyielding spirit.

I look forward to her forthcoming counterattack.

Ha ha ha. Such pleasant kids.

Indeed!

Squeeze...

Touta, is there anywhere in particular you want to go?

The only thing to do around here is to go for a stroll.

We could walk around the buildings or go watch the club activities.

Anywhere's good.

Just being with the girl I love is good enough for me.

And if there's a stag beetle somewhere it'd be paradise!

Stag beetle?

U-Uh, nothing at all!

I heard it was a concrete jungle around here, but there's actually a whole lot of green.

What are you doing, Touta?

N-N-Nothing at all!

You're my sawtooth oak!

A happiness on par with the Prosopocoilus giraffa!

The Prosopocoilus giraffa is the world's largest stag beetle and lives in the rainforest.

Incidentally, the missile with the world's longest firing range, from 160 to 200 km,

is the AIM-54 Phoenix air-to-air missile.

Both the missile and the only aircraft capable of launching it, the F-14 Tomcat,

were retired on September 30th, 2004.

The American military has no actual battle data on the AIM-54,

and another problem may have been the F-14 Tomcat's exorbitant cost.

In any case, a missile that has never hit its target outside of testing shouldn't be romanticized.

Ah, he put away the pliers with forced casualness!

Without a doubt, he was prepared for some serious cavity gathering.

Cavity gathering, you say?

Yes.

The cave-like space that forms in a tree as a result of rot, etc.

Cavity

It's a technique used when collecting stag beetles

that have laid claim to a specific cavity.

See? He's looking around.

It seems like he's begun his search, and has no intention of giving up.

Commentator Rindoh,

did Touta come here to meet Ishima,

or is he here to collect stag beetles?

Well, I would speculate that, having met Ishima,

he has calmed down a bit and begun to fall to the allure of bug collecting.

Don’t high-ranking businessmen and politicians get pulled into similar honey traps?

So it goes even for adults with sound judgment.

For a youngster, self-discipline must be hard indeed.

What's that? You went by my parents' first?

Yeah. I went to go see you, but they said you had classes even though it's summer.

You said you were gonna go on to a vocational college,

but then suddenly decided to go to a different school.

You didn't even come home.

Your mom and dad were really upset about it.

Still, I'm on your side, but—

I have a dream that cannot come true.

Hmph.

Dream?

A woman's dream is to be a housewife!

And if there were a stag beetle there, it would be paradise!

Uh, I think the stag beetle is unnecessary...

I'm gonna work hard and save money,

and maybe because of that we won't have the kind of time normal couples do.

However, on my few days off, the two of us will search the mountains for stag beetles over 80mm long.

That's the kind of modest but happy life I want.

About this "fiancé" business, it was just a joke my grandparents made over a few drinks.

Touta, you're the only one taking it seriously.

Sniffle

Uh, well, um... what should I do?

Please don't start crying.

I...

I really, really like you,

but it seems my feelings are one-sided.

Touta...

Well, isn't she making a lovely face?

Yes, you wouldn't see such a clear, murderous intention even on your parents' killer.

What's this? She's moving forward.

Does she plan on resorting to force?

Oh.

Miyamae.

Well! Some unexpected players have been put into the game.

Student council president, Shiki Ayari, and vice president, Natsuru Maki.

Nice to see you. It's another hot day today, isn't it?

The president is a relative of Shidoh, isn't she?

Oh dear. You're wearing a mask.

Have you caught a summer cold?

Oh! This is an unexpected turn of events!

No one yet has made fun of the mask,

but finally somebody appeared that reacts normally.

Yes. It makes one eager for what's to come, doesn't it?

What's this? The young female appears troubled.

Oh, you noticed my skirt?

You certainly are observant, Miyamae.

That's the vice president for you.

It seems like she understood what Kanako wished to say simply by reading her eye movements.

It's a new skirt.

The old one got snagged and tore.

What's the matter? Are you not feeling—

Miyamae!

Didn't it look like she was holding her mouth, trying not to vomit?

Yes. I'm worried about her.

Her mask is stained red with blood, isn't it?

Perhaps her nose bled from that fantasy of hers just now.

Normally, she would have given in to temptation

by having Ayari take her to the nurse's office,

but her priority now is Ishima and this self-proclaimed fiancé.

What an unwavering sense of purpose.

Indeed, she is worthy enough to be called a soldier.

She started moving again.

The only thing in her heart is the urge to destroy.

The urge to destroy the love felt by an elementary school boy until nothing is left.

She runs.

She Runs.

She runs!

Even though her throat gets hoarse,

her knees seemingly about to give out,

and paying no attention to the fact that her heart is about to explode, she runs!

She runs!

And what she arrives at is not paradise...

A rather troublesome creature has entered the mix.

Yes, and for some reason, it appears to have a triumphant look on its face.

It's that one girl, the not-so-pretty one.

Kanako? Is anything wrong?

Judging by what we've seen, perhaps Kanako got the drop on him, collecting a bug first.

Perhaps she sought to express her dominance in her own way.

But it's a foolish plan!

You got some guts, girl.

Zwish

Ryuken, I'm gonna prove that I'm the right man for you.

Touta!

Challenge accepted!

The battle concluded. The sun fell...

Miyamae lost on her home turf, didn't she?

Wasn't the outcome obvious even before it started?

I can say this now -

That young boy Touta has the nickname "The Palawanicus of Naniwa,"

and he's quite famous in that area.

What's "Palawanicus"?

The Dorcus titanus palawanicus is a stag beetle native to the island of Palawan

and the world's most powerful giant stag beetle.

Incidentally, the world's most powerful helicopter is the AH-64D Apache Longbow,

a complete redesign of the original,

featuring a MANPRINT cockpit and Arrowhead sensor suite.

Furthermore, the Longbow's fire-control radar lets it use Hellfire anti-tank missiles,

setting it worlds apart from the original 1970s AH-64 Apache.

The Apache warriors would traverse mountains with water in their mouths,

and if there was less water by the time they came back, they would lose.

A very fun way of training themselves to build endurance, wouldn't you say?

Perhaps that was why Geronimo was so energetic.

What's this? The mic picked it up?

Rindoh here, we're back on the scene.

The problem before us is that even we commentators aren't entirely sure

what kind of competition it was.

What're you doing?

Raise your head high.

You were trying to give Ryuken credit, right?

Here. This is to say thanks.

That's the ticket, huh?

A 98mm stag beetle really suits you.

Sorry I said that you weren't pretty.

Guess I should prepare myself for the worst.

Ryuken, lemme see your hand.

Like this?

This is...

It's from the Dazaifu Tenman-gu shrine, and will help with your studies.

Good Luck with Studies

I actually knew you were taking the university exam.

You're my fiancée, after all.

The truth is, I came here to give you this.

Do your best with all that studying!

Good Luck with Studies

Thank you, Touta.

Good Luck with Studies

Well then...

I finished my errand, so I guess it's back to Osaka.

Even though you just got here?

I planned on a one day trip,

and if I don't leave soon, I'll miss the bullet train.

Next time we meet, I'll be an even better man.

So when we do, give some more thought to getting married, okay?

Wai—

Touta...

Y-You!

Huh. It's that old guy from before.

Sorry for calling you a beast, old man.

From now on, I'll call you Old Man Kanae.

Huh?

Take this as an apology.

You don't have to thank me.

Dear Mom and Pops,

Dear Mom and Pops and sometimes Pochi,

and sometimes Pochi,

Tama, Yoshio, Gorimura,

Tama, Yoshio, Gorimura, Antionette,

Antoinette, and everyone else.

and everyone else.

I'm relieved to know that Ame-no-Kisaki was a lot nicer than I expected.

I've still got growing to do, but it looks like I can come home having fulfilled my task.

Here, at the school of the girl I love,

I've matured just a little bit more.

Ah, but the Apache certainly is cool! The Apache!

The Tomcat's variable wings make the hearts of fans race as well!

Why, yes. But what will happen after today's tiny melody of love?

Well, I have been your commentator, Shinouji Rindoh.

And his assistant, God, helped bring this to you as well.

Goodbye, everyone.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Chapter 9 The Precocious Fiancé

Don't just believe the rumors

My heart is still pure

I love living dream after dream

Perhaps tonight, holding a red rose,

I will dance with a beauty

Or perhaps, I will give

my passionate heart to my lover

To become a papillon?

To become a bloom?

The romance of the night, I leave up to you

Just for tonight,

just for tonight,

no one can stop us

To become a papillon? To become a bloom?

The romance of the night, I leave up to you

Just for tonight, just for tonight

no one can stop us

Maria Holic

Alive

Red light, green—

light.

What happened to you?

Y-Yesterday, I spent the entire day running around looking for stag beetles.

I put lots of sun block on, but...

Mayonnaise

Retrospection

This has gotta be a joke, right?

A-All the vegetable oil in the mayonnaise made me this dark!

I get it. So that's why you came to me, the embodiment of beauty, for advice.

White-n-beautiful

To start with, why not try that folk remedy, the mayonnaise facial?

Mayonnaise

Cure an ailment caused by mayonnaise with mayonnaise, if you will.

You mean, fight fire with fire, right?!

Gleam

It's like we're all in this together, huh?

You can suck on that mayo for all I care.

k-pop!

Chapter 9 The Precocious Fiancé Addendum

The End

Delish...

Bonus

Please awaken, my cute hero.

Mom: Today is a very important day!

Today is a very important day.

Today is the day you are to be granted

the ceremony of manhood, right?

King: Y-Yeah... You're a hero now!

It is for this day...

that you were raised to be a courageous man.

Girlyman