Original subtitles

Dearest Mother in Heaven,

The season of gloomy showers has arrived.

Ame-no-Kisaki Second Girls' Dorm

Rain, rain, go away...

Is it raining again, today?

It just keeps pouring down day in, day out...

It's always rainy here when it gets round to June.

Yeah, I guess it's the rainy season after all.

It's not long until the pool reopens, though.

As soon as the rain stops, it'll be summer vacation before you know it!

Huh?

Hey, wait...

Something's not right here!

But didn't we—!

She swam in an underwater piggyback battle

She swam in an underwater piggyback battle

Her nose started to bleed, she fainted

Her nose

started to

bleed,

she fainted

Her nose started to bleed, she fainted

and woke up inside the infirmary

and woke up inside the infirmary

This is the summer she was exposed!

This is the summer she was exposed!

This is the summer she was exposed!

Kana... Your pendant...

Thank you for faithfully watching up until now.

Look forward to Endoh's next project!

A memento of her mother,

a

pen

dant

What exactly is the secret that it hides?

What exactly is the secret that it hides?

What exactly is the secret that it hides?

The mysteries are torn apart and unveiled

The mysteries are torn apart and unveiled

The mysteries are torn apart and unveiled

What exactly is the

secret

that it

hides?!

Ame-no-Kisaki Girls School

Class 2-A Miyamae Kanako

Mi

ya

ma

e

Ka

na

ko!

Didn't something like that happen?

What are you talking about?

It's still June.

That might happen in the near future, but not just yet.

In the near future?

Yes. Why don't you look forward to that in about a month's time?

Oh but...

Miyamae, you need to stop getting ahead of yourself.

When God says it's June, it means it's June.

Delusional Warrior

A refreshing breeze blows across the hill of Holy Mary

Finally, she is here

Yes!

Miyamae Kanako!

Pursuing the beautiful maidens of her dreams

she transferred

to

this

school!

Kanako is a lesbian

Every day, her delusions rush uncontrollably through her mind

Her roommate is a black-hearted beauty!

I'm here too.

Oh, never mind that! Kanako, swimming class starts today!

School swimsuits! Butterfly stroke! And the forbidden mouth-to-mouth!

There might even be... a slip!

She doesn't even mind if she gets a nosebleed!

She'll just eat raw liver to replace the lost iron!

Her loathing of men is her solitary flaw!

A simple brush with one and she'll break out in hives!

Ame-no-Kisaki Girls High School

Class 2-A

Miyamae Kanako!

Mi

ya

ma

e

Ka

na

ko!

Maria

Holic

Alive

Maria

Holic

Alive

Maria

Holic

Alive

Maria

Holic

Alive

Episode 2

Part 1\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Forbidden Game"

Dearest Mother in Heaven,

Due to a flood warning, the students of Ame-no-Kisaki have been confined to their dorms.

The idiom "pouring buckets" really does seem quite suitable right now.

Even if it wasn't forbidden, I wouldn't go out.

Yeah, really.

So, not that I'm complaining or anything...

but why are we all cooped up in one room?

So we could eat Shidoh's tasty snacks, of course.

Such fabulous green tea could only come from Mt. Yame.

Anyway, why do we need to have such eventful weather?

Even these special boutique petit-fours aren't enough to drive away the tedium.

Dorm Mistress! I have just the thing to cheer you up!

Romance of

the Three

Kingdoms

Romance of the Three Kingdoms Cards: Generals set

Why don't we play the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Generals card game that Paola Magnani from class 3-E created?

Romance of the Three Kingdoms Cards: Generals set

Romance of the Three Kingdoms... cards.

ECSTACYCATSCE

Yeah. You're new to Ame-no-Kisaki, so you probably don't know.

Paola's an exchange student from Italy.

Italy?

Italy, the land of passion?!

What kind of beauty is she?!

Tuscany

A

Area: 22,990km^2 Pop: 3,516,296 A northern region of the Italian peninsula home to charming ancient cities like Siena, Pisa, and Florence. The site of many UNESCO World Heritage sites, as well as a thriving agricultural trade in wine, olives, and wheat.

A classical beauty from Tuscany, built like a Roman statue?

Naples

Or perhaps a shining beauty from Naples?

A

Area: 117,27km^2 Pop: 995,171 A land of such beautiful scenery that it gave rise to the expression "See Naples before you die" (because otherwise your life was not complete.) The population of the city itself is a million, with the surrounding areas home to three million, but it has long suffered from overcrowding.

Or maybe a spicy catch from Sicily?

Sicily

A

Area: 25,710km^2 Pop: 5,087,000 Near Siciliy's second city, Catania, stands Mount Etna, Europe's largest volcano. A grain-producing region for over two milennia, its specialties now include olives and wine. Also famious for its Mafia.

No matter what, if she's from the passionate land of Italy, she's got to be a real knockout!

Why did I never realize there was such a beauty at my school?!

Miyamae Kanako, epic fail...

Paola's been a fellow Three Kingdoms friend of mine since before she came to Japan.

The Internet really does make it easy to connect with those whom have common interests these days.

Dear Mom above,

This sounds like it's supposed to be a really touching story,

but because it revolves around history nerds and the Three Kingdoms...

It's really easy to play.

You just flip and match character description cards to their portrait cards!

What do you do if you don't know a thing about the Three Kingdoms?

No such person exists.

Nope.

Not one.

What, impossible?!

Even Yonakuni?!

Before you get any wrong ideas, I don't have any particular fascination with the Three Kingdoms era.

We just happen to be cultured, there's nothing more to it.

Really? That's a relief.

Kanako, if you could establish a kingdom and pick any ten generals as your followers, who would you choose?

I'd pick Guo Jia, Xun Yu, Lu Su, Zhuge Liang, Mi Zhu, Lu Xun, Ma Chao...

And maybe Zhang He, Cao Ren, and Taishi Ci to round things off, but I'm not too sure.

Spellbound

She's for real!

Geez, I don't really know much about history at all...

Guo Jia? Really?

Impertinent, but rather clever...

That's right! Remember when his bad manners really set Chen Qun off?

Guo Jia is definitely my favorite Wei general.

Such a pity he died so young.

It's like listening to the chatter of a bunch of old ladies who live near members of an idol group!

Oh, Miyamae! Could you pass the dumplings?

God.

The Three Kingdoms were a long time ago. Why are you talking about it like it just happened yesterday?

Hey, Ryuken!

Let's stop worrying about the past and think about the future!

What?!

But...well, by studying our past, we can improve our future!

So...

But the people you're talking about are already dead!

It'll never work! You'll always be yearning from afar!

Plus, they all had loads of concubines anyway!

That's why...

I made her cry!

Oh man.

I'm sorry, Kanako. I suggested this activity without taking your interests into consideration at all.

That's right, Ishima.

In this kind of situation, it's very important to consider what everyone else likes.

And so I borrowed these from Tamaru in room 207!

Moe Concentration

Look, it's Moe Concentration! Let's all play together!

Moe Concentration

Moe Concentration

Moe Concentration

Moe Concentration

Moe Concentration

Moe Concentration

Just what kind of interests do you think I have, God?

sailor outfit

sailor outfit

Now then, in Moe Concentration, you have to turn over two matching cards!

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See? It's just like normal Concentration!

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They even have different-colored backs to help you tell them apart!

catgirl

dog boy

So even a beginner can pick it up easily!

I see! What a thoughtful game!

Dorm mistress.

If you'd like to play cards, I have these.

Fun with Law: Criminal Law Set 2!

Why does everyone have their own card game?

These are the kind of thing someone like you who always lives on the edge should have.

I don't always live on the edge! I live smack inside the safety zone!

Don't slander me like that with no basis!

Whether to avoid becoming the victim or the victimizer...

everyone needs to know the law.

Criminal Law Set 2 comes with a narrated CD requested by the fans of Set 1,

so you can even play all by yourself!

It was made to help out students in law school!

Another thing made for yourself?!

It's in its sixth printing.

And people actually bought it?!

The act of disturbing worship at shrines, temples, or graveyards...

Section 188, the ban on slandering places of worship and interference with services!

Matsurika, you don't have a set too, do you?

I do.

It's not particularly girly, but...

I wonder what cards Matsurika has?

This is nothing but a wishlist concealed as a card game!

Is the camera over here?

They're each labeled with their suggested retail price.

Oh by the way, I removed the card for the diamond I received yesterday.

You love shiny things, don't you?

Ahh,

this is just a wishlist...

Et tu, Yonakuni?

Yonakuni's cards are like ESP cards.

Why am I the only one without any cards?!

I hate this! It sucks! I want my own cards too!

Miyamae.

If you wanted to have your own cards, why didn't you say so sooner?

Father Kanae!

You shouldn't be here, Father Kanae!

This is the secret garden, the girls' dorm!

No boys allowed, even if they are Ame-no-Kisaki teachers!

Oh my, dorm mistress. Excuse me.

The rain simply began pouring just when I happened to be in front of the Second Girls' Dorm.

Ducking inside to avoid the deluge,

My heart stirred when I heard Miyamae's cries for her own cards echoing from Shidoh's room.

Oh...

And I happened to bring this humble gift.

One of the 50-inch 3D TVs that's been popular lately.

Oh really?

Well, there is a flood warning, so I guess you didn't have a choice.

Yes. I certainly didn't come here to use Miyamae as an an excuse to check on Shidoh and Shinouji.

Now, Miyamae.

I, Kanae Toichirou, shall confide my own cards in you.

Stay away! I'll break out!

Shidoh! Shinouji! You two as well!

I'll teach you all at once!

Don't worry. The rules are simple.

Now!

Don't! Faargh!

A tonfa is a compact striking weapon developed in the Ryukyu Islands!

Got it!

I got it, Miyamae.

Pilee polipee!

Filippo Lippi is a Renaissance artised based in Florence!

There!

Shocked

and

awed

What card game is this?

Well, one about Kanako's screams of terror, I guess.

Now then, what shall I have nex—

Aww, the snacks are all gone?

I should've prepared more. Oh well.

Okay, since I have no more reason to be here,

I think I'll make the rain go away now.

Now then everyone, shall we go to lunch?

Make sure you attend class in the afternoon.

Mother up in Heaven,

Well... Um...

Oh, nothing. I don't care. It's fine!

Episode 2

Part 2 "Secret Reception"

Ame-no-Kisaki Girls Dorm

Mother up in Heaven,

Look at this beautiful blue sky.

It's the perfect day for cleaning!

Um...

Um...

I'm terribly sorry to distract you two, but...

If you're so sorry,

then could you just not talk to us?

Sure, as you wish.

That's goddamn annoying!

What's wrong with you?! I can't even enjoy a book on my precious Sunday off, with you doing that!

What's your problem?!

Your strength is not for hurting!

What are you doing, absorbed in a book or monster hunting again, while your roommate's stuck cleaning?!

Help out!

Who cares about your petty cleaning used to kill time.

Petty cleaning?!

This is a "team" battle. I'm in the middle of a tough fight right now.

"Team"...battle?

Where you have to avoid standing in front of them, stay out of their way, sucking up,

support them without being noticed, clap, and say "nice shot" when they play well... That kind of "team" battle?

If you understand, then keep quiet until I kill the dragon.

The future of the Second Girls' Dorm rests upon this battle.

I see.

I won't even embarrass myself by asking who you're "teaming" up with.

I pray for your victory.

Prayer received.

Returning to the stars in 1 minute

Reception is difficult, but it's nice having servant animals.

I'm getting some gloomy vibes from you, Matsurika.

Some people like dogs or cats. I like slaves.

Your point?

What did you need, anyway, Kanako?

Oh, right!

I'm telling you, if you don't pay attention to cleaning, places like this—

Wait, what?

There's no dust!

Hey, don't get your skin oils all over it!

I never noticed it before, but doesn't Mariya's living space shine so brightly?!

And what could this scent be?

Rose, jasmine, neroli...

The sweetness of so many flowers, with the refreshing hint of bergamot and orange...

What a fresh fragrance!

My desecrate body doesn't even deserve the slightest caress of this divinity, much less be enveloped in it!

Such purity! Such divinity!

This is the First World!

I'd like to develop my Third World tracts of land!

Please give me some Overseas Development Aid!

Rejected.

Subprime!

You moron!

Why do you need aid and technical support?!

Half shines bright, and half is dim! We attend the same school and live in the same room, so why do these gaps open up?!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Now is the time to sound the alarm on our twisted society!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Down with an unequal society!

No to inequality!

What are you blogging about?!

I want a maid to clean for me too!

Oh, is that your problem?

That's it! If I had my own lovable little maid...

Not only could she clean for me, I could put my head on her lap, have her clean my ears,

have her read to me, and do this and that...

And oooh, maybe even that...

You just cleaned! Why are you making another mess?

You're a meanie, Mariya!

You too, Matsurika! With your touching and your stripping and all that!

Wait, what stripping?

My gosh. Basically you just want someone to help you with your cleaning, right?

I've already arranged for that.

Miyamae.

You should've told me you were too weak to do your own cleaning.

I only managed to come today because Shido sent me a text...

What's wrong, Miyamae?!

She's foaming at the mouth! Someone! Call an ambulance!

Now, now, Kanako. You shouldn't overdo things, weak as you are.

Mother in Heaven,

Cleaning is something one must do for oneself.

One must live befitting one's stature.

Episode 2

Part 3 "Rewards of Bashfulness"

Did you notice? I bought new glasses.

I can't ask "notice what?" now, can I...?

I don't think they're any different than before...

but I'll just have to fake it for now!

They have a different shine to them!

Yeah, they do! Your new lenses have a different shine!

Your lenses?! That's what it was?!

You replaced your old plastic ones with glass, didn't you?

They look good on you, Kiri.

Yeah, my old ones were all scratched up...

so I rewarded myself for doing well on my midterms by buying these.

What were you thinking rewarding yourself with new lenses?

Why didn't you get something cuter?

Actually, I gave myself a reward for improving my grades too!

The tri-wing screwdriver I've always wanted!

That isn't cute either!

What the heck is a tri-wing screwdriver, anyway?

The tri-wing screwdriver;

a special tool used for devices that the manufacturer doesn't want the end user to take apart.

Next time I'm gonna aim for a security Torx!

What a wonderful reward, Momoi.

I'm kind of curious why you two care so much about different screwdrivers...

What exactly are you going to take apart with that, Sachi?

I don't have anything in mind yet.

I just want to have anything, anywhere.

She's preparing to be helpful...

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

Sachi Momoi

[Ability] \h\hHave anything, anytime.

A

I guess it's nice to reward yourself.

Did you get something too, Yuzuru?

tear

You're terrible, Kanako!

You're just trying to embarrass me!

Why are you crying?!

I'm sorry I bought myself a whole bunch of my favorite chocolates!

I'm so sorry it's not anything interesting like Sachi or Kiri got!

Don't worry, Yuzuru.

This isn't some kind of reflection on your personality.

If anything, sweets are a little cute. I like it!

And wow, these chocolates are really expensive!

They're not "a little" anything!

I ate them one by one, treasuring each one like gems...I'm so sorry!

Chocolates as gems, huh?

What a completely different meaning compared to Matsurika's wish list...

Yuzuru is cute.

So that's what we talked about today.

I want something too, Mariya.

What do I look like, a certain blue and white cat-robot with a fourth-dimensional pouch?

I want a reward, Mariemon!

Rewards are usually reserved for those who work hard, and then given when they succeed.

What have you done?

Shamefully, not a thing!

I know.

Yes, I know I'm a useless do-nothing loser.

But imagine! Within me could be an unknown spiritual shine I could use to communicate with you all!

Take heed, Mariya, Matsurika!

Consider my latent potential to try hard!

You're terrible, Mariemon!

I want a reward too!

Very well.

Miyamae.

If you were concerned that you weren't trying hard enough, you should have just sought my counsel.

Of course, I didn't just come here using you as a pretext to get at Shidoh and Shinouji,

What's wrong?! Miyamae is foaming at the mouth again!

Someone! Call an ambulance!

Oh my. Kanako, you must be working yourself too hard.

Mother in Heaven...

Surely you can see how hard I'm working, can't you?

A reward of setting me free from these circumstances would satisfy me!

Don't just believe the rumors

My heart is still pure

I love living dream after dream

Perhaps tonight, holding a red rose,

I will dance with a beauty

Or perhaps, I will give

my passionate heart to my lover

To become a papillon?

To become a bloom?

The romance of the night, I leave up to you

Just for tonight,

just for tonight,

no one can stop us

To become a papillon? To become a bloom?

The romance of the night, I leave up to you

Just for tonight, just for tonight

no one can stop us

Maria

Holic

Alive

Do

Do

your

your

Toichiro!

best,

Toichiro!

best,

Toichiro!

As the blue sky peeks through the clouds and summer approaches,

beloved mother in Heaven, how do you fare?

Recently my student, Shidoh Mariya, has been texting me regularly.

Mariya Shido

Do me a favor

Help Kanako, please.

I'm not sure how to respond properly.

Help Kanako, please.

Well, not unsure about the content of the response.

I'm unsure of whether or not to use a emoticon.

A text is nothing more than a short message, is it not?

If I don't convey my message properly, there's great potential for the wrong impression to be made.

Leave it to me.

At times like these, if I use a grinning smilie or something, I should be able to avoid any unwanted misunderstandings.

But I am a teacher of the Japanese language.

Thus, is it proper for me to rely on a simple emoticon?

Shall I take on the challenge of using proper Japanese to express my feelings?

No, but it's been said that modern schoolgirls simply ignore excessively long texts.

Ergo, that option is closed.

But amongst the sea of emoticons, which one should I choose?

This one? Maybe this one? Or this one?

No, maybe this one!

This one!

If I use this adorable little chick—!

Do our best, Toichiro!

Do

your

best,

Toichiro!

Bonus

Ikkyu, can you bind mai waifu in red rope for me?

First bring your 2D waifu out of the screen, shogun.

Thus that summer, the shogun becomes aquainted with image editing.

The Photoshop shogun.