Original subtitles

This is your idea of romance.

Half-dead flowers from the gas station.

It's all they had.

Do you know how hard it is to find something available at 5pm on a Tuesday?

No, because I don't leave romance to check out.

Romance!

Are you serious, fibs?

That is a candle.

And that is a mug.

That's thoughtful.

Thoughtful?

It's lazy.

And I bet you had your assistant get it for you anyways.

So what if she did?

At least she remembered it was our anniversary.

Well, she clearly didn't remember that I don't like vanilla.

You're missing the point.

No, you are missing the point.

At least I tried.

I don't think circle K counts as trying.

Ugh, so what?

We both had to do some last minute shopping.

Is that what this is about?

No, that's not what this is about.

This is about you not showing up for me ever.

That's not true!

Yes it is!

You bury yourself in work, you throw me scraps, and

then you act surprised when I'm still not impressed.

I'm done with your excuses.

I need attention.

I'm done begging.

You want to keep this marriage?

Fine.

Do something fucking special for me right now.

And if I don't, I will file for fucking divorce.

Hey, I'm Liana.

I'm here to fundraise for my troop.

Would you like to buy some cookies?

A Girl Scout selling cookies?

At my door?

I actually have a bunch of different flavors.

Would you like a sample?

Quick question.

How old are you?

I'm 19.

I'm a college sophomore.

I'm the leader of my troop actually.

Hold on one second.

Just one second.

Just one second.

Wow.

This is your anniversary gift.

What?

Something very fucking special.

Oh Claire, you know exactly how to fix things.

Sweetheart, we're going to buy every single box you have.

I am such a sucker for a Girl Scout and her cookies.

Wow, thank you so much.

Come, let's see.

You must think it's a little weird.

Two ladies rushing you into the living room.

A little, yeah.

Let us explain.

We're wives.

Busy wives.

Executives.

Always working, never slowing down.

And today was our anniversary.

Which we ruined.

We didn't celebrate it.

Not properly.

But then you knocked on our door and, well, I thought it was fate.

You're not here to sell cookies, are you?

You're here to help us.

What's the best couples therapy we could ask for?

Couples therapy?

What better way to fix Americans than sharing something sweet together?

You see, I have a sweet tooth.

Always have sucking, licking, nibbling, eating.

And I love a uniform.

Some would call it a fetish.

It would be so tragic to waste such an opportunity.

Especially when we plan to take every single box you have.

So you want me to help you eat my cookies?

Help us reconnect.

Help us celebrate.

Help us regain that intimacy we've been missing.

And if I do that, you'll take every one of my boxes?

Scout's honor.

Show me where to start.

Oh my goodness.

We've got a surprise for you.

Do you?

You like surprises?

Oh, they're beautiful.

May I?

Please.

Baby, you're so hard.

You're so hard.

Look at you.

So nice to meet you.

Yeah, do you like that?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Really?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Don't you like this anniversary gift?

It's perfect, baby.

Better than the flowers.

Much better than the flowers.

I'm so sad.

Fuck you.

Oh, they are?

Oh, fuck, your hands are so slow.

I'm not here.

Oh.

Oh, my buttons being stubborn.

I'm sorry, backpack.

Don't you like this part?

I think there's a little?

Oh, yeah, there is.

Not right in the back.

Oh, God, it feels so nice.

Oh, my gosh.

Let's get this off now.

Oh,

fuck, it's looking weird.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, thank you.

She's so good.

She's so talented.

It's so hot watching her stroke your big brother.

It's so fucking hot watching her stroke you.

Oh, fuck.

One of

you ladies like me to pleasure you?

Please.

Why don't you go first since it's your death?

Oh, fuck you.

Look at you.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck, baby.

Oh, fuck.

Tell me who wrote this video.

It tastes so fucking good.

Oh, my God, you...

Oh, come here and kiss me.

I want to taste your pussy on your lips.

I need to help to love each other to make a really good anniversary.

Oh, you're doing great, baby.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, yeah.

Are you making her feel good, baby?

I think so.

Look at me.

Is my wife doing a good job, please, in here?

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, I want to taste.

In here.

Go ahead and you're back for me.

Here.

Let me catch this.

It's all of it's you.

You.

Oh, fuck, baby.

Oh, fuck, that tastes so good.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Fuck, yes.

Good girl.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Fuck, yes.

Two girls using the girls' videos.

Oh, fuck.

See that?

Oh, fuck, yes.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Fuck, what the fuck.

It's so beautiful.

Look at that.

It's like the sides of your head.

I think someone wants to feel you.

May I?

It's like your mouth feels so good.

I love you.

Oh my God.

How does that feel, baby?

Yeah, you like that?

Put it back in your mouth, yes.

Oh, you get it.

It's so hot.

Oh, how does that feel?

Yeah, we got it.

Oh, I love you.

I'm coming.

Oh, that's so hot.

Oh, that's so fucking hot.

You're such a good fucking girl.

Oh, fuck, baby.

She feels so good, Claire.

You like watching me fuck her?

Is it hot?

How does that feel, girl?

It feels good.

Yeah, it's good, girl.

Oh, yes, fuck that person.

Oh, that's so fucking hot.

You want to turn my love?

Yes, ma'am.

What do you want?

Get on your back.

You're such an eager girl.

You have a skinny little feet.

I love you.

God, this is

so fucking good.

I love you.

Oh, yeah.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Oh, yes.

Oh, that feels so fucking good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, that's so hot.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's so big, isn't it?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, girl.

I have to say it's your costume.

I want to taste your cock in her head.

Oh, yeah.

What do you want?

Oh, yeah.

Do you want to feel that again?

Okay,

come on, stop, baby.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Oh, yeah.

I was so hot when she struck my wife's cock.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Mommy...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's so cute.

Oh, yeah, it's fine.

You suck my cock so good.

Oh, it's so fucking hot watching her blow you.

You like that?

I do.

Oh, it's hitting her for a ride.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I took off, you okay?

Yes, I'm good, girl, good girl.

Oh, look.

Oh, fuck, that's so weird.

Babe, you want to come here and fuck my mother.

Hey.

You two are

so beautiful together.

Oh, fuck, you're so beautiful right now, girl.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, baby.

Oh, that feels so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Look at that.

Oh, that's so fucking hot.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

That's so long.

Oh, I needed this so long.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's so sexy.

My turn?

I think I want to suck two cocks real quick.

Yeah, okay.

What do I do?

Do I just...

Open your mouth up as big as you can.

Good girl.

Oh, that's so fucking hot.

That is so fucking hot.

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Such a good girl scout.

Such a good girl scout.

We've got all the badges on.

Oh, yeah, she did.

Yes.

Oh, fuck, baby, that's so fucking good.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Hey, baby, put on your knees for us.

You want to take that side, honey?

I'll take that side.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's so fucking good.

That is so fucking good.

She's so excited.

She's so ready.

She's so fucking cute on her knee.

I'm gonna get her what they're telling you.

Oh, yeah, she wants a soap.

Oh, you're gonna drink your baby?

Oh, yes, baby.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, fuck.

Oh, shit, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck, I'm coming.

Oh, you're coming, baby.

Oh, come on, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck, yes.

Happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

Thank you.

Thank you, happy anniversary.

Thank you.

So...

that's one case of peppermint swirls, three of caramel caverns, and...

me?

Sweetheart, that's the best order you're ever gonna make.

And the best therapy we've ever had.

Thank you.