Original subtitles

♪ I was a normal girl Before my dad went missing

♪ Then his alien partner appeared You've got to save the galaxy

♪ There's a madman, Gore, you see You've got to stop him now

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm just a kid, why me?

♪ And how? See that bracelet from your dad?

♪ It's got secret powers What's that?

♪ If Gore should get it That's the key

♪ To set my evil army free

♪ I'll gather my friends She's Agent 203

♪ Now she can protect the world

♪ It's Agent 203 Agent 203. ♪

Quigs, wow, what was up with that geometry test today?

I never liked geometry. It's totally for squares.

Get it? HE LAUGHS

Aagh! What did you do with Quigley?

What's a Quigley?

Activate... Oh!

Deactivate! Deactivate!

Oh! Oh! Oh, my hearts.

Zoe, this is my friend Bezel.

We went to the IA Training Academy together.

Uh... Oh. So, you're an IA agent?

I wish! I quit training to follow my favourite band around the universe.

You know Box And The Sox? ULAV GASPS

BEZEL BEATBOXES

Gora flam faloop!

Gora flam faloop! BEZEL TRILLS TONGUE

Boom, boom, bagoo!

Uh, do I even want to know what's going on?

No. I don't.

Ho-ooo-oogaa! Ho-ooo-oogaa!

BOTH GROAN

CLIPPING, BEZEL MUTTERS

Hmm.

Eh? Aaah!

Hey, Zoe, have you seen...

ULAV STRAINS

ULAV GROANS

ULAV WHIMPERS, BEZEL LAUGHS

Gotcha! BEZEL TITTERS

QUIGLEY GROANS Oh!

Of course, you know what this means.

Prank war! Prank war!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! How about prank truce? Hmmm?

Mm-hmm. Thank you, Ulav.

FART NOISE Gah!

ALL GIGGLE Sorry. That was for Bezel.

BEZEL GUFFAWS

Ow! SHE GROANS

Sorry, Quisling.

So, Ulav, how did you end up in Slobenberry?

Roddenberry.

Roddenberry is the best place in the solar system.

Come on, team, we gotta show our guest the town.

Of course! On one condition.

Summer elf?

OK, Bezel.

Now, the most important thing is to not draw attention.

Humans don't know aliens exist.

But I don't see any humans here.

That's because it's a thousand degrees out.

Look, Bezel, the Roddenberry Mall!

Meh. At the mall on Orlac,

all of the furniture is edible!

And delicious, I might add.

Ooh, well,

this rare artefact channels the waters of Earth itself

to extinguish even the hottest flames.

Hmm?

Oooh!

Earth oddity selfie!

BEVEL GIGGLES, CAMERA CLICKS

Ooh, humans!

Christmas wow times to you and your spawn!

Argh!

BEZEL AND ZOE STRAIN Sorry, ma'am!

OK, buddy! Time to pack it in. Wait, no!

We have movies. Earth movies! Lots of them.

Ooh! What's playing?

Zoe and I really want to see Suzy Ruth: Teen Sleuth.

Saw it on Jupiter!

Can you believe Suzy was a ghost the whole time?

You'll love it, Queenie. BEZEL LAUGHS

BEZEL GROANS

Er... A Bountybot! Alien bounty hunters send them

to collect anyone on the Most Wanted list.

Luckily, no people are around.

Ah-hem! I'm Agent 203 of the Intergalactic Agency.

What's your business here?

Turn over Criminal 8296.

Agent 201 here. You have the wrong party. I vouch for him.

We request you leave Earth immediately.

Request denied! BEZEL WHIMPERS

ZAPPING, BOTH WHIMPER

BOUNTYBOT GRUNTS

Huh! Ya! SHE GRUNTS

SHE GASPS You have five seconds

to hand over my prisoner.

Activate Breakdown Charm!

Ah-ow!

BOTH WHIMPER

Any idea what this is about, Bezel?

No. I've never committed a crime in my life.

How would they even know you were here?

Guess I shouldn't have posted that selfie. Victory selfie!

No more outdoors for you. Let's get to the bottom of this.

Quigs? Everything OK?

Ulav has a friend staying.

ROCK CRIES OUT, GROANS

Rock, meet Bezel. Um... guys?

The Bountybot was right.

Bezel, any particular reason

you might be on the Galaxy's Most Wanted list?

Most wanted? Everyone wants me!

Wow! Must be the new body spray.

Bezel, it says you're the criminal.

Whoa, not as good.

It says you stole a personal spaceship from the planet Niron.

I didn't steal a spaceship.

The IA is requiring that whoever finds Bezel has to turn him over.

I didn't even come to Earth on a ship.

Wait, then how'd you get here?

I took a cargo ship to the moon.

Then he messaged me to pick him up.

I wanted to surprise Ullie-pooly. "Ullie-pooly"?

Can you call IA and clear this up?

I wish, once you make the Most Wanted list,

you have to present proof that you're innocent.

Otherwise, we have to turn you in for trial.

Trial? Argh!

I don't feel great.

Gotta lie down.

BEZEL WHIMPERS

Come on guys, you gotta trust me.

Bezel wouldn't even steal a fly.

You mean hurt a fly.

That either. He's terrified of flies.

I have to turn him in, Ulav. They'll decide whether he's guilty.

The report said he stole a Nironian ship.

You need three hands to pilot one. He only has two.

Evidence! If we just had more.

I'm innocent!

SCRATCHY NOTES ON VIOLIN, BEZEL WAILS

Where did he get a violin?

It's a novelty app he downloaded.

He's surprisingly good!

Can we get back to this? Ulav, we don't have much to go on.

We can prove he didn't do it.

Being an agent is more than fighting aliens.

It's about getting to the truth.

BOTH WHIMPER

Fine, Ulav, I'll try to build a case.

Bezel, where were you last Thursday night?

At Fleegot's Movie Palace on Niron.

Hmm.

BEEPING Wha...

'This is Commander Garklot of the Nironian police.

'We demand you turn over fugitive Bezel

'for the theft of a space ship from Fleegot's Movie Palace on Niron.

'In accordance with Nironian law,

'we give you ten hours to turn the fugitive in.

'Over and out.' Ten hours? Oh!

Rock, Quigs, my mom needs some help in the flower shop.

I thought she was away till tomorr...

Happy to help!

Ha-ha! Ah.

My gut tells me he didn't do it.

He was at the scene of the crime.

It's up to the Nironians to sort it.

And I did some digging. Bezel recently lost his own ship.

Parked it too close to a black hole

and didn't use the parking brake. Motive!

Guys, we deal with alien criminals all the time.

They're usually... smarter. I've got to find out more.

We can't let the Nironians get him.

The Nironians don't operate under IA rules. No court, no judges.

They'll lock him up till the sun grows cold.

So, we have ten hours to convince them he's innocent,

or that's it forever?!

Guys, anyone know how to reboot this violin app?

I cried on it too much.

Bezel, could you tell me more about the night of the crime?

Well, I was watching the movie, minding my own business...

If he can time travel to the past to stop the invasion,

why didn't he go back even earlier

and destroy the intergalactic gate? Shhh!

Snacksies! Argh!

Urgh! Oopsie.

Then I got on a cargo ship to Earth's moon.

I figured I'd pop in on Ulav,

stay till the Bok And The Sox concert on Venus,

six months from now. HE SPITS, COUGHS

Why didn't you tell us you recently lost your ship,

and there just happened to be one for the taking?

I didn't do it, Queequeg!

Hm... Huh!

OK, should I contact the Nironians and arrange a drop-off?

Hold off, Quigs. Even the galaxy's dumbest criminals

have a better motive than stealing a ship they can't fly.

You know what I think? He's playing dumb so suckers like us

will give him a place to hide out. He could be a genius.

A little help here?

BEZEL GROANS

Or not.

Whoa! What did you find?

Um, that this red dry-erase marker smells like raspberry. Ha-ha!

Oh, dear. How much time do I have?

Six hours. Isn't there anything else you remember?

About something I didn't do?!

HE CHOMPS

Oh, stress eating is so bad for my athletic physique.

Hey! Those are the hybrid bean experiments I need for my report!

I've been growing them for months. Ooh-hoo! Great job.

They're yummy.

Hey! I tracked down the cargo vessel that Bezel was on.

Nice! These IA cargo ships carry passengers, right?

Sure. They give rides to anyone making a delivery. Bingo!

So all we need is a witness to prove he got on it

after the movie instead of stealing that ship!

Hm. Opening a subspace frequency. Agh! What's on my keyboard?

I got some crumbs on it, so I cleaned it

with that white stuff on your desk.

This white GLUE stuff?! SHE GROWLS

COMPUTER BEEPS Hi, I'm Agent 203 with the IA.

Thanks for talking to us. 'I'm Captain Oglia.'

Uh, ma'am, we need you to identify a passenger

who was on your cargo ship last Thursday.

'No, sorry.' Maybe it was dark.'

'I can see 12,000 times better

'than any other species in the galaxy.

'Trust me, he wasn't on my ship.'

Oh, well, that's probably because I stowed away in a fruit crate.

Captain, just in case, could you send me your passenger log?

'Sure thing, Agent. As soon as I make my delivery.'

COMPUTER BEEPS

Guys, our time is running out.

I have an idea.

This is a lie detector.

Answer Zoe's questions with a lie, and this alarm goes off.

OK, is your name Bezel?

Yes! OK, it works.

And did you see the stolen Nironi ship?

No. Good.

Did you see anyone behave suspiciously that night? Nope.

ALARM SOUNDS OK, someone in the front row

took some roasted murple nuts without paying.

They stayed for the double feature. I don't think they stole the ship.

I didn't take the ship.

I wouldn't even want one.

Honest, guys, I was only on Niron to see the movie.

I mean, before you find out it was just the sister in disguise. Ha-ha!

Urgh. They're scary all right.

Nironians can shape shift into anything,

including giant flying beasts that can destroy a city.

Well, don't panic. We still have time.

ALARM SOUNDS Um... guys?

A strange ship just entered the atmosphere.

'This is Commander Garklot.

'We have obtained undeniable IA video proving the suspect's guilt.

'Transmitting to you now.' But, sir, with respect,

we still have five hours.

Whatever your proof is, we intend to prove his innocence.

'Impossible.' We still have the right to try.

'Well, five hours,

'then we turn Roddenberry upside down and take him ourselves.

'And we won't be stopped.' Mmm... Play the video.

Hm.

I know what you're all thinking, but that's not me!

I mean... same chiselled features,

strong chin, piercing eyes, but not me!

Aaah! I'm too pretty to go to jail! BEZEL SOBS

VIOLIN SCRATCHES Ooh! I got it working again!

Zoe, please, if Bezel goes to prison

for a crime he didn't commit, I'll never forgive myself.

We gave him a bazillion chances. Why are you protecting him, Ulav?

Oh. Bezel didn't really quit the IA to follow that band around.

Oh! Oh, out of plasma! This is the end, buddy.

Not quite, Ullie-pooly!

I was saving this sneezing powder for you, but...

Run!

BEZEL PANTS Oh!

BEZEL SCREAMS Bezel!

Keep going, Ulav! I'll be OK!

ULAV WHIMPERS

Bezel saved my life that day. He was injured in the fall.

Although he got better, he couldn't pass the IA medical after that.

He had to give up his dream of being an IA agent because of me.

He's no criminal, Zoe.

Quigs! Oh, fine. I'm sold.

If you're in, then so am I. Great.

Then enough of this ticking clock, peeps. We're stepping up.

Quigs, get me the commander. You got it, girl.

Connected. Commander Garklot, Agent 203 here.

Just a reminder that IA's treaty with Niron

strictly forbids any attacks on Earth.

So, we'll turn Bezel over on OUR timetable, sir, not yours.

I'm hoping you'll agree that a stolen spacecraft

is not worth an intergalactic war.

'Then you officially reject the six-hour countdown?'

Yes. I do. 'Ha! Good.

'Therefore, I am no longer bound by it, Earth smarty-pants.

'We transport to the surface in 30 minutes.' Huh?!

BEZEL WHIMPERS

Listen, Bezel. Once we get to the forest clearing,

we signal for the Nironians to land there.

Then we... say our goodbyes. OK.

ZOE GASPS It's from Captain Oglia.

Must be the passenger log. A kreetza delivery guy!

Right! Maybe he saw me get into the crate.

I was trying to be sneaky,

but I knocked a bucket onto his kreetza and crushed it.

Kreetza? Cross between a pizza and a Gronian sea monster.

Ugh! Sounds scrumptious. Agh, we need that kreetza guy, stat.

In 30 minutes? No way. Way!

They deliver kreezta anywhere in the galaxy in 30 minutes

or it's free.

Oh, but how do we get the right delivery guy?

Hmm. If that guy's delivery area includes the moon,

it's gotta include Earth.

Ordering one kreezta, extra tentacles.

Sending coordinates.

Argh! Two minutes left.

My life depends on this!

Also, I'm getting kinda hungry. One minute left.

Er, someone order a kreezta?

Thanks. Who's hungry?

Urgh! Ew, no. Ew, just ate.

Sir, can we ask you one question, sir?

Were you on a cargo ship from Niron to the moon three days ago?

Every day. Yes!

Does our friend look familiar? I was sneaking into a fruit crate.

No way. That guy could barely get his head in the crate.

You're tiny! Ha-ha!

Gotta go, folks. Delivery on Neptune.

The traffic's bonkers!

Argh!

Time's up. Maybe the Nironians won't show up.

Maybe their teleporter broke and... Actually, we're already here.

Bezel Horky Glomicropnie, for the crime of spaceship theft,

you're hereby sentenced to...

But, wait, this is a sentencing, not an arrest, right?

Your point being? That by IA bylaw 6,698 and a half,

a sentenced prisoner is entitled to a last activity

before being imprisoned. She's right, Commander.

I don't care. Take him away!

Rules are rules, Commander.

If we don't tolerate lawbreaking, we must set an example.

Bezel, name your last activity, quick!

I'd like to see a movie with my best friend Ullie-pooly.

Aw, Bezel. In the Roddenberry Theatre.

We'll be watching you.

So if she can fly on an eagle, why doesn't she just fly

to the mountain and drop the amulet in? Shush!

Here, your favourite.

Meteor Trail Mix. Got it from the kreetza place.

Thanks, bestie. BEZEL CHOMPS

Hey, Brizz. Oh, nothing.

Just catching a flick before my life sentence. You?

Quiet! Gotta go. Come see me in jail.

Ha-ha! The wizard.

Don't get attached, I read the spoilers. Huh?

BEZEL LAUGHS, QUIGLEY AND ROCK GROAN

Oh, time to call the Nironians.

No doubt they're already here, somewhere.

Um, Ulav? Was there lorot fruit in the trail mix?

Yeah, it's your favouri... Jumping Jorguts!

ALL GROAN I know!

It's the lorot fruit. I didn't know it caused this reaction

till I had some at the Nironian theatre.

Right after the movie was over, poof! Just like tonight.

Why didn't you tell us that? I tried, Quisling.

You told me not to talk with my mouth full.

We can't turn Bezel in.

Bezel got a giant head after the movie,

but the Bezel in the security video didn't. Right.

That video might not have been fake...

But the pilot was. A shapeshifter!

Hey, it's us again.

Listen, do you recognise this guy from the cargo ship?

'Oh, totally, the big-head guy, that's him.

'He crushed my kreetza!'

Thank you! Our friend's innocent!

Bezel, think. Do you have any shapeshifting Nironians

who would want to hurt you? Hmm.

The guy next to me in the theatre was mad at me

when I told him the ending.

Bezel! It's time. Hand him over.

Can't allow that.

Go get him. ULAV GROANS

Argh!

Yargh! Oh!

HE GROANS, SHE GRUNTS

HE SCREAMS

Activate Forcefield Charm!

SHE GRUNTS Whoa!

Awww! I don't know if I can fight a cute little chipmunk!

Aaaah! Bring back the chipmunk!

HE GROWLS, ROCK GROANS

Turn over the thief or I'll burn Roddenberry to the ground.

Activate Storm Charm!

THEY CRY OUT

Why are you sticking up for that annoying guy?

I bet he ruined the movie's ending for you.

You! You were the one next to me in the theatre. Oh!

It was you! And we can prove it.

Noronian shapeshifting history is recorded in their DNA.

Their police can scan for it, like this!

WHIRRING

Nailed!

Case closed.

Commander Garklot, you're sentenced to 30 light years.

Bezel, we're truly sorry for the mix-up.

How can we make it up to you?

How about a lift to Saturn?

Just heard Bok And The Socks are doing a surprise show there.

Certainly. Come.

Uh, Rock?

I found some more beans and replicated your experiment.

I did some calculations, so you'll have less work for your report.

Thanks, Bezel. It's kinda been fun.

Quigley...

A Quigley nameplate for my workstation.

You spelled my name right. Aww! Ha, that's so sweet.

Really?! Does that mean I can come back and visit?

No!

Oh, Ullie-pooly. Aw! I'll miss you, buddy.

Maybe next time, I should visit you.

Ha! And thank you, Zoe, for proving my innocence.

And all of you, for believing in me.

SCRATCHY NOTES ON VIOLIN

Hey, Dad.

You know how important it is for an agent to have instincts.

I followed my gut to help someone who was wrongly accused.

That same gut says that you'll be home some day.

Let's hope it's right again.

Meanwhile, wherever you are, you gotta try this lorot fruit.

Mm! As long as you're not allergic.

SHE GIGGLES

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com