Original subtitles

♪ I was a normal girl Before my dad went missing

♪ Then his alien partner appeared You've got to save the galaxy

♪ There's a madman, Gore, you see You've got to stop him now

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa I'm just a kid, why me?

♪ And how? See that bracelet from your dad?

♪ It's got secret powers What's that?

♪ If Gore should get it That's the key

♪ To set my evil army free

♪ I'll gather my friends She's Agent 203

♪ Now she can protect the world

♪ It's Agent 203 Agent 203. ♪

CRUNCHING Oh.

CRUNCHING

SQUEALING

Ha-ha! Our Cosmic-Con passes came in the mail!

Boom! Cosmic-Con!

Where the greatest event in the history of events takes place.

Yes! The Mega Monsters, Myths And Magic semi-finals.

And that is...?

Only the best tabletop card role-playing game ever.

Zoe, you and I are gonna win this year! I can feel it.

Ugh...

Uh, no. I was actually referring

to the Cosmic-Con Classic Cosplay Contest.

Zoe, you and I are so gonna take first place!

You'll still look like humans dressed up as aliens.

I could win that event easily, just going as me. Ha-ha!

Yeah. I'm going to be my favourite anime legend, Marine Asteroid.

And I'm her nemesis, Kitty Caterpillar.

Part insect, part cat. Nine lives and they're all evil!

LAUGHTER

I'm putting together my schedule, and when is this

Cosmic-Cosplay Clop... Uh... Let's just call it CCCCC.

Tomorrow at four. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

But that's the same time as the MMM And M tournament.

And if we win at Cosmic-Con,

it's on to the world tournament in Finland!

Zoe, you know my costume won't work without yours.

Zoe, you know I can't be a team without you.

Oh... uh...

BEEPING

Oh! I know! My ticket will let me play virtually.

Quigley, you can build one of your polka dots so we can communicate.

You remember, Ulav. The polka dot?

The wireless transceiver on a dot that sticks to your ear? Ah!

That way Rock and I can play together as a team

while I compete at the CCCCC.

See? Win-win.

Hey! They're doing a retrospective of Space Dust Bunnies.

Remember when you were little and we'd watch it with your dad?

SHE GASPS

# Space Dust Bunnies Hopping through space

♪ Baddie aliens Get out of my face. ♪

Heh. Uh...

Huh? What? Aw!

Zoe, sure you don't want to go as Commander Lop-Ear?

My favourite Dust Bunny. That show is for babies!

They visit planets throughout the galaxy to learn about sharing.

Ugh! Yeah, so stupid.

Yeah, well, I don't care what anyone says,

it's still a classic. I better go work on my costume.

I'm going as a spellcaster from MMM And M.

Fare thee well, warrior princess, and... troll creature.

ULAV GROWLS

One last stop. I'll need wires to make Kitty's antennae.

Hey! What are you girls up to? We're getting last-minute supplies

for our Cosmic-Con costumes before everything sells out.

You know, all of Roddenberry will be there in costume.

Right. I'm totally into... Costume-Con.

QUIGLEY GIGGLES Where can I get tickets?

I'm definitely going. Sorry, Hugh.

They sold out in 2.3 seconds. Anyway, gotta go. Later.

Guess I'm definitely NOT going.

Ah... Did you hear that? Yes, nicely done, Hugh, my boy.

The whole town is going to this Cosmic-Con.

Then Agent 203 should definitely be there.

That bracelet will be mine. Ooh! I'm such a genius!

Greetings, Gore. You have a bounty for Gilax?

Yes. You'll be attending an event on Earth, Cosmic-Con.

Your mission is to find Agent 203 and get me that bracelet.

And Gilax's bounty?

What would you say to your own planet?

Eh...

GORE STUTTERS

GORE TRILLS TONGUE, EXCLAIMS

Eh?

I'd say, we're going to have a good time finding Agent 203 together.

Victory will be mine. You're hired!

My sources tell me everyone will be in costume

so you'll blend in with the earthlings.

And no fighting. Aw!

Well, unless I tell you it's Code Ultimate.

CACKLES

ALL EXCLAIM

CHEERING

Costumes with real lasers!

They're super high-tech. They're super cute.

Aw, come on.

Blarnogs have seven tentacles, not five.

Are we ready to have the best day anyone has ever had, people?

Oh! Yeah! Ooh!

Yo, yo, yo. Excuse me. Where's your badge?

This is Gilax's badge. MAN SIGHS

Take your toy weapon and go stand on the badge replacement line, pal.

Ugh! Ergh! MAN SIGHS

It's gonna be a long day.

Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am! No, no, no, ma'am!

Gee, thanks. OK.

LAUGHTER

Aaaah! Huh?

Marine Asteroid and Kitty Caterpillar!

Can I get a photo? ZOE AND QUIGLEY GASP

Hi-yah! You just need an alien to battle.

I'm taking the day off from that. Alien here.

Make sure to get my good side. Yeah. Ha-ha!

Thanks, kid, but I'm looking for a more authentic alien. What?!

Hm.

Oh!

Ooh!

Now THAT'S an alien costume.

Wait! What are you doing? You mind taking it?

ULAV GRUMBLES Thanks!

Kitty Caterpillar, smush in a little.

A spellcaster from Mega Monsters Myths And Magic?

You can be in it, too. Ha!

CAMERA CLICKS

Thanks! Next time try one of the costume stores online, little guy.

They have a great alien selection. Argh!

Sorry, buddy. Humph!

Oh, that's Commander Lop-Ear himself from Space Dust Bunnies!

I have to get an autograph.

That's so dorky. Yeah! The dorkiest!

I mean, really. SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

Hey, check out that space ninja. Whoa, nice!

CAMERA CLICKS

FANFARE

Time to set up for the tournament. Wait! One polka dot for you.

And one for you.

We should test it guys. Rock, can you hear me?

Loud and clear.

You're also right in front of me. LAUGHTER

Team cheer. Huzzah!

GROWLS

Yeah! Fight, fight!

LAUGHTER Fight!

Hey, Ulav, what's this line for?

Commander Lop-Ear is signing autographs.

Only 78 people in front of me. Do you want anything signed?

Wh... What? No. What?

SHE COUGHS Bunny ears.

Ha-ha! You got it.

Ah...

Uh, ah... Oh.

HE GROWLS

Oh, playing solo? That's an interesting choice.

My teammate will be here. And your name is?

Rock. Rock?

Who are your teammates, Paper and Scissors?

LAUGHTER

All right, thanks again. Oh, I wish we had more time.

And a much bigger shopping budget.

Oh! It's a Marine Asteroid backpack!

Adorable or the MOST adorable? 'About to roll the dice.

'But the Treefolk have unleashed the squirrel army.'

Yeah, and now for something actually important.

'Look at all these amazing charm bracelets.

'Zoe! What should I do?' Rock, take five.

She'll be right back. 'What? No...'

You... What? You can only buy these charms at Cosmic-Con.

It's a bracelet emergency.

Rock, you there? I've one that's perfect for you!

Come in, Rock. Are these goldfish?

Hey, Rock? Yep, Marine Asteroid's greatest allies.

Whoa! These fish better be real gold.

It's a special alloy. It's not gold or silver.

It's gilver! I'll ring it up for you. Uh...

BEEPING

Rock? You there?

Ooh, that's really unusual. Rock, come in!

What metal is this? It's definitely not gilver.

Rock, come in. Rock! Ooh!

Oh! No, no, no! Don't touch! Don't!

Argh! What was that?!

ELECTRICITY ZAPS, SHE GROANS

Whaa? Whoa! Talk about self-defence mode.

Um... Sorry, ma'am, must be static from the carpet.

Besides, I told you not to touch it.

Ma'am, you're in an unauthorised area.

Please get down.

Nothing to see here, folks. Just an overheated lava lamp.

Mm-hm. Gilax to base.

Potential Agent 203 activity. Gilax will check it out.

ULAV GASPS

Oh, man. After two glirpping hours in line?!

Aw, you've gotta be kidding me.

Gilax to Gore. I'm nearly...

You're supposed to be Colonel Rag-ROK from Galaxian Battle!

Your costume rocks! Yeah, dude.

Sign my flogu-ray? Rock? Rock, come in!

I think the blast blew out my polka dot. I need to help Rock.

We have to go check in for the CCCCC.

We're cutting it close. Argh! I'm so twisted up.

CCCCC or MMM And M - which one do I choose?

Zoe! We have to get out of here. Gore sent a bounty hunter after you.

How did he track you down?

No idea, but we need to get him out of here

before anyone gets hurt. Let's get Rock and go!

Zoe? Zoe? What's our battle plan? Come on!

Aw! Time's up. You have to forfeit your turn.

Now, according to section 375.2 of the bylaws,

I can call a timeout for team huddle.

So you can't do anything without your friend's help?

HE GROWLS OK.

I didn't want to do this, but... ALL GASP

Dance Battle. You got served!

SHE GROANS Well played.

INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC, THEY GRUNT

CROWD EXCLAIM

Zoe. Zoe! Zoe!

ROCK SIGHS Rag-ROK! Rag-ROK!

Rag-ROK, Rag-ROK! HE STRAINS

Please sign my photo! At least sign my T-shirt!

Will you get outta here? Aw!

GILAX GRUNTS Hey! Hey!

Hey! What happened here?

Kitty... Caterpillar. Uh-huh.

I almost met Commander Lop-Ear in the flesh.

Actually, in the fur...

Sorry, Ulav. This day isn't working out for any of us.

At least I got this before we destroyed the stall.

Ooh. Is that gilver?

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

'It's Marine Asteroid, Kitty Caterpillar

'and whatever that is.' 'Sorry, we're in a hurry.'

'Ah, ah, ah! Stop, you can't enter. There's a game in progress.'

'Whoo-hoo! I love those costumes!'

CACKLES Here, kitty, kitty.

CHUCKLES

CROWD EXCLAIM

APPLAUSE, CHEERING

Robots! Single file!

Robots, weapons up!

Robots. High five. What? No!

Hey! LAUGHTER

Robots, do the robot. Urgh! But... no!

Stop! I command you to... Yo, yo, yo, yo.

No dancing except for designated dance spaces.

Pack it up, twinkletoes. GILAX GROWLS

Just need to roll above a nine, and Finland, here I come.

Rock, we have to go now! We're in trouble.

We were, but I defeated the trolls with my Pegasus.

I mean real-life trouble. Wh-What kind of...

RUMBLING, SCREAMING

Agent 203. Hand over the bracelet.

Robots, attack!

Hee-yah!

SHE GRUNTS

Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em!

GILAX GRUNTS

Ooh! Someone's looking for a hard reset. Shall we dance?

Hee-yah!

Get up, you useless robot!

Yeah, how about not? Activate shield charm!

I'm rubber, you're glue!

Whoa! I've never played MMM And M with special-effects.

Argh!

Hey, bits for brains!

HE LAUGHS Meet the chairman of the board!

SHE LAUGHS

Sorry, I'm in a pinch. Cool. Enjoy.

SHE GRUNTS

Bye now! GILAX GROANS

Dude! All battle re-enactments with special effects are in Hall F.

You have to take this to Hall F. MAN SCREECHES

Well, actually, you're good.

Let's at least give her a hand for trying, ladies and gentlemen.

APPLAUSE Come on.

And contestant 28. Boo-Beard the Terrible!

Folks, terrible is right.

That's the worst ghost pirate I've ever seen.

I like the simplicity of it. You do not!

Hang on, folks, it looks like we have a late entry.

MAN WHIMPERS Now THAT'S a costume!

GILAX GRUNTS

Hee-yah! Ha!

Urgh! You won't defeat Gilax. HE GRUNTS

ULAV WHIMPERS

Hee-yah! Guess who, big guy. Hey!

Missed. Missed again. Where'd you learn to shoot? Nowhere?

CROWD CHEERS

SHE GRUNTS

GILAX SCREAMS

Sorry. HE WHIMPERS

You don't have a ghost of a chance. Ow! Ouch!

LAUGHTER

HE GRUNTS

HE GRUNTS, SHE SCREAMS

You've pinched your last backside!

THEY STRAIN

HE SCREAMS

ALL GASP

HE GRUNTS

Yah, ooh!

She shoots, she scores.

Hi-yah!

HE GRUNTS, GROANS

'Gore to Gilax! Come in! What's happening?'

I'm Agent 203.

Surrender, and the Intergalactic Agency will go easy on you.

Gilax, I don't know what is happening,

but enough of this nonsense. Go to Code Ultimate.

I LOVE Code Ultimate. Code what now?

Enough! Hand over the bracelet, or I'll vaporise

every living creature at the convention.

What's it'll be, Agent 203?

CROWD MURMUR

Go ahead. You haven't got it in you.

Oh? And why is that?

Cos if you vaporise every living creature,

that's the end of you, too. Oh.

That's a good point. HE GUFFAWS

Is it now? ALL GASP

HE CHUCKLES

Well, hello, Agent 203. Or should I say, "bye-bye"?

Begin the countdown. Ooh!

Ooh, nice touch. Eh, a little over-the-top for me.

Huh?

Hm.

THEY GASP

SHE SIGHS You know what?

I am so over these impossible choices.

Don't do it! If Gore unleashes his planet and armies,

the whole galaxy is doomed. Ahem. Vaporise everyone?

What a hare-brained scheme!

Ah. Ah-ha. Long ears.

Three... Belly rub.

Hide... No. Sw...

Switch!

One and a half... And one.

OK, time's up. Let the vaporising begin!

HE CACKLES Hey, everyone!

You'll want to post pictures of the vaporising. Use your flash!

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING

Ah! HE GROANS

Whoo! CLICKING CONTINUES

Ha-ha!

GILAX CACKLES Don't! What were you thinking?

You just gave away the whole galaxy!

Ha! See you at the end of the world, losers!

ALL GASP

Hm. SHE CHUCKLES

How could you give up the bracelet and doom the world?

You mean... this bracelet?

Whaaaat?! SHE GIGGLES

And our first prize for best costume

and performance goes to Bracelet Battlebots!

Best Cosmic-Con ever!

ALL CHEER

Ha! I'd like to thank the judges,

and I couldn't have done it without my friends.

CHEERING CONTINUES

GORE CACKLES

Finally, my planet will be free.

Ah!

Oh. Huh?

Ah. Maybe it's this one?

Come on, come on, come on! OK, maybe it's this one?

Grr! What the... HE STRAINS

Gilver! It's a fake! She tricked you!

Gilax still gets my own planet, right?

After all, you now know Agent 203's true identity.

Kitty Caterpillar!

The fictional character?!

You useless dimwit!

Guards!

Ulav had everyone take flash photos for a distraction,

so I could switch my bracelet with Quigley's cheap charm bracelet.

Hey, it wasn't that cheap! Exactly, Zoe!

Just how Commander Lop-Ear tricked the evil Admiral Harebrain

with the decoy space carrot. Silly baby show, huh?

I thought you were psyched to come here without a costume.

What costume? I'm just a very cool-looking alien

supporting the best show ever. LAUGHTER

I was able to sneak off and get those autographed.

You can put them on later if you want. Ha!

I want.

So everyone was in on this plan except me?

In order to fool Gore and Gilax,

you had to look convincing when you lost your temper.

You used me as a pawn.

More like an Elven King with plus-ten anger skills.

I'm OK with that.

I'm sorry we didn't win the Mega Monsters Myths And Magic tournament.

Trip to Finland, save the universe,

I think we made the right choice.

Hey, Dad. So even though I won a trophy today,

I think I'll stick to being a hero in real life.

And the best part of the day?

Remember when we watched Commander Lop-Ear outwit Harebrain?

I got to play a Dust Bunny again. Just like we used to.

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com