Original subtitles

Thank you very much. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to The

Tonight Show.

You're here.

You made it. Thank you for watching at home.

Well, guys, last night, President Trump delivered the State of the Union, and

good news, he just finished.

Yeah. Trump delivered the longest State of the Union address in history,

clocking in at 1 hour and 47 minutes.

I'm not shocked Trump spoke that long. I'm shocked he stood that long. I mean,

by the end, his cankles look like Popeye's arms.

Trump actually broke two records.

Longest date of the union and most time in the same room as Melania.

Isn't that amazing?

Two records last night.

Way to go.

It turns out if you don't play him off with YMCA, he'll just keep going.

Just hum it. Just hum it.

Just get him going.

The speech went on for so long that Marco Rubio had a growth spurt.

But actually, it was a nice change. This time, Trump spoke and everyone else

fell asleep.

Yeah, an hour and 47 minutes, and that's not counting the post -credits scene

where Trump put on the Dr. Doom helmet.

I knew that wasn't going to work, but you know what?

Some of these jokes are just for me, you know? I just think that's funny.

In his speech, Trump declared the country bigger and richer than ever

Then he added, well, at least I am.

During his address, Trump awarded two Purple Hearts, two Medals of Honor, a

Medal of Freedom, and a Legion of Merit. And that was just to himself.

Meanwhile,

Trump never mentioned the Epstein files once.

The Epstein Files were like, that's so rude. We mentioned you 37 ,000 times.

How rude.

How rude.

At one point during the State of the Union, viewers noticed the president's

microphone sounded completely blown out. This is real. Take a look.

To prove that right, here with us tonight is a group of winners who just

the entire nation proud.

The men's... Gold medal Olympic hockey team. Come on in.

Well, here now with more is the man who provided sound for the event, Mike

Hopkins. Mike, welcome to the show.

Hey. Hey, Jimmy.

Oh, yeah.

It's really, it's so, so good to be here, Jimmy.

Sorry. Mike, I think you're having the same issue you had last night.

I don't know.

It sounds good to me.

But, hey, the customer's always right, you know.

Tweaking on the fly, that's what I do. Here we go. Tweaking on the fly.

Okay, thank you. So you did the sound for the State of the Union last night,

that right? Yes. Yes, I did.

The first sound company that they hired was not paid in full, and I wasn't doing

anything, so that's kind of my jam, you know.

Mike's Mike's, always available.

I'm sorry, Mike.

Your sound is still messed up. Oh, hey, no problem, no problem.

Tweaking on the fly.

Just a second here, hold on. Okay, there we go. Okay, now we got it. How are we

doing now? That sounds good to me, just like that. No, that still sounds bad.

Were Trump's people happy with the results last night?

Well, you know, they haven't paid us yet.

But my fingers are crossed. I'm waiting.

Mike, you can't hear that?

Come on, man. Come on.

Jimmy, look, I've been doing sound in Washington, D .C. for 20 years, all

God, you know?

Inaugurations and birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. I did one at a Red

you know?

Wait, wait.

Hold on.

I hear what you mean now. Oh, my God.

My voice sounds really weird. Let me fix that. No, no, no, no, Mike. Actually,

no, that's actually, that was finally good, actually.

You're doing a joke.

Something's really funny, I guess.

The funny thing is, I actually don't own this place.

You know what? Big Mike owns it.

You're not Big Mike?

No, I'm Brown Mike.

There's a lot of Mikes down there. It's very confusing.

All right, thank you, thank you. All right, appreciate it.

Of course, following Trump's address, a lot of lawmakers gave their reactions.

Check out what some of them had to say here. First, Congressman Dale Strong

said, I enjoyed the president's speech. It seemed like the State of the Union

is, well, my last name.

And Congressman Josh Harder said, I didn't like the speech, and frankly, I

the president could be, well, working a lot, well, my last name.

Senator Sheldon Whitehouse said, Trump is dangerous. He doesn't belong anywhere

near the, well, my last name.

Then Congressman Tim Wahlberg said, and he spoke forever. Look at my face. When

he started, I looked like Mark, well, my last name.

Then Congressman Jared Golden said, yeah, he spoke for almost two hours, and

that time I could have rewatched K -Pop Demon Hunters and danced to... Well, my

last name.

Then Congressman Jimmy Petronas said, Trump was up there so long, I tried to

make him go away by yelling, Expecto! Well, my last name.

Then... Then Congresswoman

Maggie Goodlander said, I flew straight home after the speech, and fortunately

my pilot was at, well, my last name.

Congressman August Pfluger said,

I held in a sneeze the whole time, which would have sounded like, huh, huh, huh,

well, my last name.

And then Senator Angus King said, I heard after the speech, Trump hosted a

at Burger, well, my last name.

Congressman Wesley Bell said, hang on, I also saw him eating a taco, well, my

last name.

Then Congressman Andy Barr said, meanwhile, all the Democrats headed

the, well, my last name.

And finally...

Finally, Senator Lisa Blunt Rochester said, screw that, after 10 seconds,

America was ready for, well, my middle name.

Interesting.

Interesting reaction.

Meanwhile, this morning, after his marathon State of the Union, Trump had

hours of executive time, followed by four hours of policy time, which was

followed by tummy time, then nap time.

Finally, everybody, I heard about a 37 -year -old horse in Virginia that was

just named the world's oldest horse.

Yeah, you can tell the horse is old because it has tennis balls on the

its hooves. We have a great show. Give it up for the Roots, everybody.

Come on now.

have for you tonight. He is an Academy Award winning actor who narrates the new

Steven Spielberg produced documentary series, The Dinosaurs. It's out March

on Netflix. He's a legend. I love this man.

Morgan Freeman is here tonight.

Come on now.

What do you want?

Come on. Legend.

He is an Emmy -winning writer, producer, director, and creator of The White

Lotus. He's now making his big return to Survivor for its 50th season.

Mike White is joining us tonight.

He stars in season three of the popular Hulu series Tell Me Lies. Jackson White

is here tonight.

And we got great... music tonight from one of the biggest names in country

music. She is on her Cherry Valley tour right now, and she'll be opening for

Post Malone and Jelly Roll on their stadium tour April through July,

her new song, If I Had Never Lost My Mind. Carter Faith is here tonight.

Carter Faith!

Come on!

Stick around. We're playing Hey Robot when we come back.