All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.Of.Beverly.Hills.S01E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10

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Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- KELSEY IS IN NEW YORK

DOING THE MUSICAL LA CAGE AUX FOLLES,

AND WE WILL BE JOINING HIM THIS SUMMER.

- BYE, BABE!

- BYE!

[sighs]

- OH, MY GOD!

- RUSSELL.

RUSSELL AND I TALKED QUITE A BIT ABOUT GETTING A PUPPY,

AND I THOUGHT WE WERE ON THE SAME PAGE,

BUT OBVIOUSLY I WAS WRONG.

- [laughs]

- CAMILLE SAID, "I'M LEAVING FOR HAWAII."

SO I SAID, "IS KELSEY MEETING YOU?"

SHE SAID, "NO."

- AND THEN SHE CAME OUT WITH A REAL SNIDE COMMENT.

- SHE SAID, "WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE INTERESTED IN YOU

WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

- I WOULD NEVER THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

- DON'T THROW JABS AT ME,

BECAUSE I WILL STAND UP FOR MYSELF.

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT ALL,

BUT I WANT MORE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW,

AND I KNOW EVERYONE.

- MONEY IS WHAT I HAVE, NOT WHO I AM.

- I WAS A CHILD STAR, BUT NOW MY MOST IMPORTANT ROLE

IS BEING A MOTHER.

- IN A TOWN FULL OF PHONIES,

I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE ME.

- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT OF MY HUSBAND'S SHADOW

AND SHINE.

- CEDRIC? - YEAH?

- HEY, MORNING, DARLING.

DO ME A FAVOR.

CAN YOU JUST HELP ME OPEN THAT?

IT'S TRICKY.

TIRED?

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- I KNOW, IT'S TOO EARLY.

BUT IF WE DON'T GET THERE EARLY,

IT'S A HOLIDAY WEEKEND, YOU KNOW?

- YEAH.

- CEDRIC, HE DOES WORK FOR US,

AND IT IS AN UNUSUAL RELATIONSHIP.

HE'S LIKE A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.

SO SOMETIMES THERE IS THAT DIVIDING LINE

WHICH IS DIFFICULT WHEN I HAVE TO KICK HIS BUTT

OVER SOMETHING AT WORK.

TEA, DARLING?

- YES, PLEASE. - SUGAR?

- THREE SUGARS.

- THREE SUGARS?

- I KNOW, I NEED MY SUGAR FIX IN THE MORNING.

- YOU NEVER HAVE THREE. - I DO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I NEVER HAVE IT?

I DON'T-- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I NEED MY SUGAR FIX.

- I GUESS EVENTUALLY HE'S GONNA MOVE OUT,

AND HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED.

HE WANTS CHILDREN.

HE WANTS TO BE A HOUSEWIFE.

CEDRIC, COME ON.

- OKAY, I'M COMING.

I'M COMING, I'M COMING, I'M COMING.

- OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA GET THE FLOWERS.

WE'RE GONNA GO BACK TO BLANCA. - YEAH.

- DO EVERYTHING PRETTY QUICKLY,

'CAUSE IT OPENS AT, LIKE, 11:30.

HEY, [indistinct].

- HELLO. - HOW ARE YOU?

THESE FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS,

EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE A GIGANTIC PAIN IN THE ASS,

IT'S REALLY ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTATION.

- THAT'S GOOD. AND THAT.

THAT'S GREAT. IT'S ALL WHITE TODAY.

- GREAT, GREAT.

- I NEED TO KEEP BUSY.

I'M ONE OF THOSE WOMEN, THE LUNCHING AND SHOPPING,

IT'S FUN BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY SOMETHING

I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME OR MY LIFE DOING.

CEDRIC?

BEND OVER. IT'S NOT GONNA HURT A BIT.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME.

- BEND OVER. COME ON, TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.

- ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING, LISA?

DO YOU FIND ME IRRESISTIBLE THIS MORNING OR SOMETHING?

- NO, I DON'T ACTUALLY, CEDRIC.

I'M ONE OF THE VERY FEW PEOPLE THAT DON'T.

- WITH LISA, WE HAVE A VERY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP.

I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY OF MY OWN,

SO I'VE KIND OF ADOPTED THEM TO THEIR DISMAY.

LIKE THIS?

SHE WORKS A LOT, SHE WORKS REALLY HARD,

AND I LEARN FROM WHAT SHE DOES.

- OKAY, NOW IF YOU COULD PUT THIS

ALL THE WAY AROUND THE EDGE.

HE'S, LIKE, BEING A REALLY GOOD STUDENT,

BECAUSE NOW I THINK IF I WENT AWAY

HE COULD ALMOST DO WHAT I DO AT THE RESTAURANT,

WHICH IS GREAT BECAUSE I DO SOMETIMES.

I CAN'T BE THERE ALL THE TIME.

I LOVE IT. I JUST LOVE IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE IT SO MUCH, BUT I DO.

I NEVER GET TIRED OF IT.

- IT LOOKS GREAT.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS COME WITH US TO HAWAII?

I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED.

I REALLY WANTED YOU AND TRICIA TO GO.

- I'M KNOW. I'M SORRY, WE--

YOU KNOW, WE'RE BOTH WORKING SO...

- I KNOW. - WE COULDN'T GET AWAY.

AND WE'VE BEEN AWAY FROM THE BABY A LOT,

AND I CAN'T KEEP LEAVING HER.

AND WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK WITH YOU GUYS TOMORROW.

- YEAH, WE LEAVE FOR NEW YORK.

KELSEY'S IN NEW YORK

DOING THE PLAY LA CAGE AUX FOLLES.

SO I'M VERY EXCITED TO FLY THE LADIES IN

AND MY CLOSE FRIENDS TO SEE THE OPENING.

- WERE THE GUYS OKAY IN VEGAS?

WAS EVERYTHING COOL?

LIKE, WAS IT COOL THAT I SHOWED UP THERE?

WERE THEY JUST LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS GUY?"

- I THINK WHEN YOU FIRST WALKED IN,

EVERYBODY WAS LIKE, "WHY IS HE HERE?

WHO IS THAT?"

- HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- FINE. - IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

- HI.

- I'VE BEEN SO LONELY.

- SO IS--ARE YOU KELSEY? - I'M NOT KELSEY.

[laughter]

- IT WAS FUN. - IT WAS FUN.

HOW IS EVERYONE GETTING ALONG?

- KYLE AND I JUST HAD A LITTLE TIFF.

SHE SAID SOMETHING I THOUGHT WAS A LITTLE DEMEANING.

SHE REALLY STARTED QUESTIONING ME A LOT.

I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING INTERROGATED BY HER.

AND IT WASN'T JUST ONE QUESTION.

"OH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING FOR SPRING BREAK?"

IT KEPT GOING AND GOING.

SHE SAID, "WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE INTERESTED IN BEING WITH YOU

WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

AND I THOUGHT, OUCH, WOW. AM I THAT INVISIBLE?

IS IT ALL ABOUT KELSEY?

WELL, I HAVEN'T SEEN KYLE SINCE THAT LAST RUN-IN,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT KYLE'S GONNA BE LIKE.

THING IS I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT HER

TO ASK ME SO MANY QUESTIONS AND COME AFTER ME

ABOUT MY VACATION WITH MY KIDS TO HAWAII.

IT JUST--I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.

AND I WAS JUST STANDING UP FOR MYSELF.

- WELL, HAVE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT IT?

HAVE YOU CALLED AND SAID, "HEY, I'M SO SORRY," OR--

- I STILL FEEL A LITTLE UNEASY ABOUT IT.

AND WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN NEW YORK.

[doorbell chimes]

- HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU, HONEY. - THANKS FOR PICKING ME UP.

- [gasps] WHO IS THIS?

- THIS IS SNOWBALL, APPARENTLY.

- OH, EVERY KID NAMES THEIR WHITE DOG "SNOWBALL."

I'VE HAD A SNOWBALL OR TWO.

OH, MY GOSH, SHE'S SO SWEET.

DID YOU JUST GET HER? - YES.

KENNEDY GOT HIM FOR HER BIRTHDAY

FROM HER FATHER. - OH, HE'S SO CUTE.

HI.

- THAT'S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY. THAT'S KENNEDY.

THIS IS KYLE.

- LOOK HOW CUTE YOU ARE WITH YOUR PINK TUTU.

SO CUTE.

- I KNEW THAT I DID NOT HAVE TIME FOR A PUPPY.

I KNEW IT WOULD BECOME MY RESPONSIBILITY.

AND NOW EVERYTHING I DO REVOLVES AROUND THIS DOG.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DID NOT WANT A DOG.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA GO LOOK AT TODAY?

SOME DRESSES?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA WEAR TO THE PREMIERE?

- I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING SHOPPING WITH TAYLOR

AND FINDING SOME CLOTHES FOR NEW YORK.

EVEN THOUGH CAMILLE AND I ARE NOT GETTING ALONG THAT WELL,

I'M EXCITED TO GO,

AND I COULD ALWAYS USE A LITTLE RETAIL THERAPY.

- IT'S ALWAYS HARD TO LEAVE THEM

ON A DAY WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE SCHOOL, YOU KNOW?

- I KNOW, YOU FEEL GUILTY, RIGHT?

- YES. - BUT THEY LOVE IT.

IT'S GOOD FOR THEM TO HAVE TIME WITH THEIR DADS TOO.

- I KNOW, I MEAN, IT'S JUST LUNCH,

SO THEY'LL PROBABLY BOTH SURVIVE.

- I THINK THEY'LL SURVIVE.

ALTHOUGH YOU NEVER KNOW. MY HUSBAND--

- WHAT SCARES ME IS WHAT SHE WILL PROBABLY

BE EATING FOR LUNCH.

- THAT'S FUNNY.

HI THERE. - HI.

- HEY, NONY.

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD TO SEE YOU, SWEETHEART.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU. THIS IS TAYLOR.

- HI. - THIS IS NONY.

THIS IS HER STORE. - PLEASURE, WELCOME.

- THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. - ANYTIME.

- WE'RE IN HERE TO LOOK CUTE,

'CAUSE WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK FOR A PREMIERE

OF OUR FRIEND'S HUSBAND, AND WE WANT SOME CUTE DRESSES.

- I THINK WE CAN FIND A FEW IN HERE.

- I'M SURE WE CAN.

NONY, WHO OWNS THE STORE, ALSO HELPS ME WITH MY CLOTHING.

SHE'S A GREAT DESIGNER AND STYLIST.

SOME WOMEN IN BEVERLY HILLS USE A STYLIST EVERY DAY.

I ONLY DO WHEN I HAVE TO LOOK EXTRA FABULOUS.

YOU COULD JUST WEAR THIS WITH A LITTLE BLOUSE

FOR THE PREMIERE. - YEAH.

- TRUST ME, I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD.

[laughter]

- KYLE, I'M STARTING NOT TO TRUST YOU.

KYLE, DO YOU THINK IT WILL BE WEIRD

THAT WE'RE IN NEW YORK WITHOUT OUR HUSBANDS

AND I HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE'S HANDS ALL OVER ME?

- I KNOW, I SAID--

I SAID I THINK IT'S ADORABLE

BUT IT SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE.

- ESPECIALLY ONE RIGHT THERE.

- LET'S START TRYING STUFF ON.

- OKAY, LET'S DO IT.

- HI. - HI.

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- I DON'T KNOW, EVERY TIME I'M IN NEW YORK

I END UP WEARING BLACK, BLACK, BLACK, BLACK.

- I'M ALWAYS IN BLACK TOO.

- I'M SICK OF BLACK.

CHECK THESE OUT. THESE ARE REALLY CUTE.

- THOSE ARE REALLY CUTE. I LIKE THOSE.

- YEAH.

HAVE YOU EVEN STARTED PACKING YET?

I'LL PROBABLY DO IT MIDNIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE.

- I ACTUALLY-- I DID LAY OUT SOME STUFF,

BECAUSE I WANTED WHITNEY TO HELP ME A LITTLE BIT.

- YEAH.

- KYLE AND I ARE JUST VERY DIFFERENT.

KYLE HAS A LOT OF GOOD FRIENDS.

I DON'T.

I PICK MY FRIENDS CAREFULLY.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT ADRIENNE,

I FEEL A REAL CONNECTION WITH HER.

ADRIENNE IS ABOUT FAMILY.

I'M THE SAME WAY.

- OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

- YOU THINK? - YES.

- REALLY? - OH, YES.

- OOH.

OOH.

I FEEL SO MATURE.

- THIS IS PRETTY.

- I THINK IT'S GREAT ON YOU.

- NO, THIS IS LIKE-- I NEED IMPLANTS FOR THIS.

I NEED TO BE LIKE THIS AND LIKE THIS.

- I DON'T WEAR A LOT OF BOWS.

- MAYBE SOMETHING TO EDGE IT UP A LITTLE BIT?

- OKAY, LET'S PUT A LEATHER BELT ON IT THEN.

- I HAD A LOT OF FUN SHOPPING WITH TAYLOR.

SHE'S MAYBE SKINNY, MAYBE, LIKE, A TRIPLE-ZERO.

AND I'M, LIKE, A TWO-FOUR, WHICH IS HUGE,

BEVERLY HILLS STANDARDS.

I'VE GOT, LIKE, BRA CHUBB.

- NO, YOU DON'T. - YES, I DO.

- LOOK AT THIS.

[phone rings] - OH, MY PHONE.

[ringing continues]

- THAT'S CUTE. - IT IS CUTE.

- HELLO?

YEAH.

[gasps] OH, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

TODAY? JUST NOW?

OKAY, LET ME-- OKAY, I'M ON MY WAY HOME.

I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

- WHAT HAPPENED? - BYE.

- WHAT HAPPENED? - MY MOM'S--UM, OOH.

- YOUR MOM WHAT? - I GOTTA GO.

- MY MOM'S BROTHER JUST DIED, MY UNCLE.

- RIGHT NOW?

- YEAH, THAT'S--MY BROTHER'S BEEN TRYING TO CALL ME.

OH, I FEEL REALLY BAD.

- OH, MY GOD. - OH, MY GOD.

SO I GOTTA GO. - OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY.

SHE KEPT SAYING, "IT'S NOT ME THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

IT'S MY MOM."

BUT IT WAS HER.

I SAW IT.

- [sighs] - OH.

- SO I'M GONNA-- I'M GONNA ACTUALLY LEAVE.

- OKAY. OKAY, BYE.

I'M SO SORRY. OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

- THANKS.

- COMING UP...

- AND WHEN I SIMPLY TOUCH YOUR HANDS

AND I SAY THE WORDS "LET GO,"

LET THE HANDS DROP RIGHT ONTO YOUR LAP.

LET GO! HANDS DROPPING DOWN.

LOWER JAW RELAXING. ERASED, ERASED.

- AM I THE ONLY ONE DRINKING WINE?

- NO, CAMILLE'S DRINKING WINE. I'M DRINKING BEER.

- THIS IS TO OUR TRIP TO NEW YORK.

HERE, CHEERS. - AND SUCCESS.

- OUR SUCCESSFUL, SAFE JOURNEY TO NEW YORK.

- WHOO-HOO. - WHOO-HOO!

- I'M GONNA SIT BY TRISH.

- YEAH, LET HIM SIT NEXT TO ME SO I CAN FLIRT WITH HIM.

I KNOW THAT'S-- - NO, THIS IS PERFECT.

YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO LEND YOU MY HUSBAND

WHEN YOURS ISN'T AROUND.

- WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING.

- EXACTLY.

- THAT'S HOW WE ROLL.

IF THEY ONLY KNEW.

- [indistinct]

- IT'S ADRIENNE. OH, MY GOD.

ADRIENNE'S UNCLE PASSED AWAY. ADRIENNE.

- HI, HONEY.

- I'M SO SORRY.

OH, MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY.

- NO, I FEEL TERRIBLE THAT I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE.

- NO, I'M SORRY FOR YOU.

OH, MY GOD, NO, PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE.

WE COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.

- IT'S KIND OF SHOCKING TOO.

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, THAT HE PASSED AWAY SO SUDDENLY.

AND I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I KNOW IT'LL BE WONDERFUL.

KELSEY WILL BE GREAT.

AND WE MISS YOU AND WE LOVE YOU.

AND THANKS FOR BEING UNDERSTANDING.

AND, YOU KNOW, ALL THE GIRLS WILL BE OUT THERE,

SO I'M SURE YOU'LL HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.

PLEASE GIVE KELSEY MY LOVE.

- BYE-BYE. - THANKS, BYE.

[phone beeps]

- I FEEL SO TERRIBLE.

- THAT'S AWFUL. - OH, MY GOD.

NICOLE, YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT?

THANK YOU.

THE PAST TWO WEEKS,

THE ODDEST THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING.

SO SOMETHING WITH THE MOON.

THE FULL MOON WAS TWO WEEKS AGO, SO--

- MERCURY, WASN'T IT?

- OH, MERCURY'S BACK IN RETROGRADE?

THAT'S BAD FOR VIRGOS, AND I'M A VIRGO,

SO THAT STINKS, RIGHT?

SCOTT'S A VIRGO.

THAT MEANS, UH, TOUGH TIMES FOR US.

[laughter]

OH, MY GOD. - HERE, BOOZE IT UP.

- BOOZE IT UP.

- YEAH, PLEASE, SOME MORE CHARDONNAY'S PRETTY GOOD.

WHEN ADRIENNE GAVE ME THE NEWS ABOUT HER UNCLE,

I JUST FELT SO BAD FOR HER AND HER FAMILY

'CAUSE I KNOW THEY WERE SO CLOSE,

BUT THEN I ALSO THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

OH, I JUST HOPE NOTHING ELSE GOES WRONG.

LET'S DRINK TO LIFE AND GOOD TIMES

AND HAPPINESS.

- CARL, THANKS FOR COOKING FOR US.

- I KNOW, TO CARL! - THANK YOU.

- THIS IS WHY I LOVE HAVING CARL AROUND.

- HELLO?

- OH, HI.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU IN THE CUPBOARD?

- I WAS JUST GETTING THE BABY SOMETHING TO EAT.

SHE WON'T EAT HER BREAKFAST. HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD.

IS HE HERE YET? - NO.

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO?

I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO SABOTAGE ME.

I'VE KNOWN LISA FOR A LONG TIME,

AND SHE ALWAYS LOVES TO TEASE ME

ABOUT MY FEAR OF FLYING.

SO SHE SUGGESTED THAT I SEE THIS HYPNOTHERAPIST

BEFORE FLYING TO NEW YORK.

- SHE'S A PAIN IN THE BUTT WHEN IT COMES TO FLYING.

- HOLY [bleep]. WHY IS THAT HAPPENING?

- THE WHEELS ARE GOING UP.

- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU SCARED ABOUT?

THAT YOU'LL BE OUT OF CONTROL?

SEE, THAT'S YOU, ISN'T IT?

YOU DON'T LIKE TO BE OUT OF CONTROL.

- MOMMY!

- I'M JUST SCARED THAT--

I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T LIKE BEING--

YEAH, I DON'T LIKE BEING OUT OF CONTROL.

- I DID MENTION TO HER TO SEE THIS HYPNOTIST.

AND I SAID, "YOU'LL BE, YOU KNOW,

STANDING ON THE WINGS BY THE TIME HE'S FINISHED WITH YOU."

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO GO ON ALL THESE TRIPS WITH YOU,

CLUTCHING, DIGGING YOUR NAILS INTO MY HAND, OKAY?

WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE THIS WEEKEND.

- AHH! - NO, NO--

- DO YOU LIKE THE WAY I PUT MY FEET ON THE CEILING?

- NO, I DON'T LIKE THAT. - IT MAKES ME FEEL SAFER.

- WE'RE GONNA GO FOR IT.

[doorbell chimes]

- I'M GONNA KILL YOU. I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

- THIS ISN'T HIM.

HE'S A SALESMAN.

THAT'S NOT HIM. KIDDING.

- HI, I'M HYPNOTHERAPIST TOM SILVER.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M SORRY, COME ON IN.

- IT'S GONNA BE FINE. SHE'S A LITTLE SCARED.

- WELL, I'LL EXPLAIN THE WHOLE SCIENCE AND EVERYTHING

BEFORE WE BEGIN.

- LET ME JUST HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH HIM FIRST.

- NO, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.

NO, NO, NO.

THERE'LL BE NO SECRETS HERE TODAY.

- I MEAN, I WAS UP TO NO GOOD.

I WANTED TO HAVE HER, WHEN THEY SAID FASTEN THE SEAT BELTS,

QUACK LIKE A DUCK. [dog barks]

NOT BARK LIKE A DOG.

- WHAT I WANNA DO IS I'M GONNA PUT THIS E.E.G. ON YOU

JUST TO SEE HOW RECEPTIVE YOU BEFORE WE DO THE HYPNOSIS, OKAY?

- AN E.E.G.?

- ELECTROENCEPHALOGRAPH,

BRAIN WAVE FREQUENCY MONITORING DEVICE.

- NOT LIKE AN E.K.G. - NO, NO.

NOW THIS HAS A LITTLE ELECTRODE,

WHICH IS NO ELECTRICAL CURRENT.

IT'S NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS.

YOU KNOW, SO YOU JUST FEEL CALM AND RELAXED.

- WHERE DOES THAT GO?

- THIS IS GONNA GO ON YOUR FOREHEAD.

- OH, OKAY. - OKAY.

- I WAS THINKING, OKAY, IS THIS GUY KOSHER?

THIS ISN'T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.

I THOUGHT, WHAT, HAS HE COME TO GIVE US

ELECTRIC SHOCK TREATMENT OR SOMETHING?

- CAN YOU MOVE YOUR HAIR BACK A LITTLE BIT?

THANKS.

- NOW I'M SCARED, BECAUSE OSTENSIBLY

I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

- ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

- I'M SERIOUS. - I'M GONNA KILL YOU, LISA.

- OKAY.

- IT'S GONNA BE GOOD. - THIS IS A SCIENCE.

- ALL THE WAY TO NEW YORK HAVING TO GET--

- DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS TO NEW YORK?

- NO, NO, BUT CAN WE PUT THIS AROUND?

LOOK AT THIS, LOOK AT ALL THIS EMOTION GOING ON.

MAN, YOU ARE AMPLITUDED OUT RIGHT THERE.

- THAT'S MY BRAIN WAVES? - YEAH.

- WHAT?

- MEANING YOU'RE FEELING A LOT OF EMOTION GOING ON.

- WHAT IS THIS?

- NOW LOOK, NOW IT'S CHANGING A LITTLE.

- THIS IS YOUR BEST LOOK. LET ME HAVE A LOOK.

YOU LOOK LIKE POCAHONTAS. - OKAY.

- I WAS A LITTLE APPREHENSIVE.

WHO KNOWS WHAT HE WAS GONNA GET ME TO SAY OR DO?

- WE'RE GONNA--YOU CAN BOTH DO IT TOGETHER.

- I KNEW I WAS GOING ON A TRIP WITH HER FOR SIX HOURS

AND WOULD PROBABLY BE SITTING NEXT TO HER,

SO I THOUGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE THIS A WHIRL.

- I NOTICE THAT YOU HAVE DROPPED DOWN,

A LITTLE BIT MORE RELAXED PHYSICALLY.

SO IT'S GONNA WORK.

JUST ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU TODAY, OKAY?

OKAY, SO LET'S TAKE THE HEADBAND OFF,

'CAUSE WE'RE NOT GONNA NEED THAT RIGHT NOW.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THREE SLOW, DEEP BREATHS IN AND OUT.

SO WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED NOW, ON THE COUNT OF THREE

I WANT YOU TO LIFT YOUR LEFT HAND UP IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE,

ONLY WHEN I REACH THREE.

ONE, TWO, THREE. LEFT HAND IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE THERE'S A POWERFUL MAGNET

IN THE PALM OF THAT HAND,

AN IMAGINARY MAGNET ON YOUR FACE AND FOREHEAD.

AND ON THE COUNT OF THREE, SLOWLY AND INSTANTLY

LET THAT HAND PULL IN TOWARDS YOUR FACE.

- WHEN HE TOLD ME TO CLOSE MY EYES

AND WAS TALKING LIKE THAT,

I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE LIKE THE MOVIES,

WHERE I WAS GONNA BE LIKE-- HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

IT WASN'T LIKE THAT, BUT IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.

IT WAS WEIRD.

- I WANT YOU TO LET YOUR HAND DROP RIGHT ONTO YOUR LAP

AND GO INTO A WONDERFUL RECEPTIVE STATE

OF HYPNOSIS.

THREE, TWO, ONE, ZERO.

LET GO. HANDS DROPPING DOWN NOW.

JUST REST YOUR HEAD BACK

INTO THE PILLOW WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED.

AND ON THE COUNT OF THREE,

I WANT YOU TO LET YOUR RIGHT HAND

GO ALL THE WAY UP INTO THE AIR.

ONE, TWO, THREE, RIGHT HAND ALL THE WAY UP INTO THE AIR.

I WANT YOU TO IMAGINE THAT HAND IN THE AIR

REPRESENTED 100% OF WHATEVER THAT EMOTION WAS

THAT YOU WANT TO DELETE AND REMOVE AND ERASE

OUT OF YOUR MIND TODAY.

AND WHEN I SIMPLY TOUCH YOUR HANDS

AND I SAY THE WORDS "LET GO,"

WHEN I SAY THOSE TWO WORDS,

LET THE HANDS DROP RIGHT ONTO YOUR LAP.

LET GO. HANDS DROPPING DOWN.

LOWER JAW RELAXING.

AND ERASED. LOWER JAW RELAXING.

ERASED AND DELETED.

ON THE COUNT OF FIVE, I'LL SAY "FULLY REFRESHED."

YOU'LL OPEN YOUR EYES. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE.

FULLY REFRESHED. EYES OPEN.

COMING BACK. EXCELLENT.

BOY, YOU BOTH DID WONDERFUL.

THAT WAS NICE.

- I STARTED SEEING, LIKE, BRIGHT COLORS, BLUE.

AND THEN I JUST KINDA WENT LIMP.

- I KNOW THE RESULTS ARE GONNA BE FABULOUS.

AND I'M GLAD TO COME OVER AND TO HELP YOU.

- WELL, I THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- OH, GOSH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.

- I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

- OH, THANK YOU. THIS IS WONDERFUL.

- I HAVE A FEELING THAT IT'S GONNA WORK.

I'M VERY POSITIVE.

- SEE, THAT'S IT EXACTLY.

YEAH. JUST KNOW IT'S GONNA WORK.

- I FELT LIKE I WAS--

HAD TAKEN SOMETHING, OR I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

SOMETHING HE DID WITH THOSE ELECTRODES ON MY HEAD

MADE ME FEEL STRANGE.

AND THAT, TO ME, MEANS IT MUST BE WORKING.

- ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE, YOU GUYS.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH. - MY PLEASURE, BYE.

- TAKE CARE. - ALL RIGHTY, TAKE CARE.

- I DIDN'T FEEL IT WAS AS INTENSE FOR ME

AS IT WAS FOR KYLE.

SHE GOT INTO IT MORE THAN I DID.

BUT MAYBE SHE HAD A LOT MORE INVESTED IN IT

BECAUSE SHE REALLY WANTS IT TO WORK.

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LAUGH AT SOME OF IT.

DID YOU?

BECAUSE HE SAID, "WHEN YOU FEEL MY HAND,"

I THOUGHT, OH, YEAH.

- [laughs]

I REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA GO, "HEAL!"

[both laugh]

- COMING UP...

- I MIGHT HAVE TO DO SOME PILLOW FIGHTING HERE.

- I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND THAT 13 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

IS EASY ALL THE TIME.

LET'S GO GET A DRINK.

- HELLO.

- XOCH! - HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- HI.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU. IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME.

- I KNOW, WEEKS.

- COME ON IN, GUYS.

I JUST ARRIVED TO NEW YORK CITY,

AND I WAS SO EXCITED

TO SEE THE APARTMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME.

I THINK WE DID A NICE JOB

FOR THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT WE HAD.

KENNEDY DID THIS. DOESN'T IT LOOK AMAZING?

YOU CAN'T GET EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT.

LOOK IT, THE LIVING ROOM CAME OUT SO COOL.

LOOK AT HOW COOL THIS IS. IT'S VERY CHIC.

- VERY CHIC. - OH, MY GOD, VERY CHIC.

- NICE KITCHEN.

- I LOVE THE WALL OF GLASS.

- YEAH, I LOVE THAT. - I LOVE BIG WINDOWS.

- THIS IS AWESOME.

- YEAH, IT'S GREAT, I LOVE IT.

- REALLY, REALLY, NICE. - WHAT DO YOU THINK JUDE?

THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR NEW HOME FOR A WHILE, HUH?

WELL, LESS THAN A YEAR. HALF A YEAR.

HERE.

SO THIS IS THE MASTER.

- BEAUTIFUL. - HOW MANY BEDROOMS?

- THERE'S ONLY THREE. IT'S SMALL.

- SO THIS IS, LIKE, THE KIDS--

- FOR US, IT'S SMALL.

THIS IS A SMALL APARTMENT FOR US.

- THE KIDS ARE SHARING A ROOM? - YES, THEY'RE SHARING A ROOM.

HOW CUTE IS THIS?

THE ONLY THING IS THE APARTMENT

IS A LITTLE SMALL FOR US.

IT'S ABOUT 3,500 SQUARE FEET, BUT--

I ADMIT, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OBNOXIOUS--

BUT FOR US IT'S SMALL.

YOU KNOW, WITH THE STAFF AND THE NANNIES AND THE KIDS

AND MY HUSBAND, HOW IT ALL WORKS OUT.

- MY KINDA BATHTUB, BABY.

- I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'M USED TO LIVING

IN A SUBSTANTIAL-SIZED HOUSE AND NOW--

BUT IT'S A COOL PAD.

I MEAN--

I MEAN, IT IS SMALL FOR US, CONSIDERING--

- YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE HERE.

- AND I'M STILL DECIDING WHETHER I WANT

TO MOVE IN FULL-TIME OR NOT.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SPEND A SUMMER OR A YEAR

IN THIS CONFINED SPACE.

- HELLO.

- DADDY! - DUDE, WHO IS IT?

- OH, HONEY. HONEY, HONEY.

- WHO'S THAT?

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

- WHERE'S THAT BOY?

OH. HI, JUDEY.

[muffled speaking] - HEY.

DON'T A GET A LITTLE SUGAR?

- YEAH. - OH, HONEY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

HOW WAS THE SHOW?

- IT'S GOOD. - IT'S GOOD?

- YEAH. - HOW'S YOUR VOICE?

- IT'S DOING FINE. - AND YOU'VE GOT SIDEBURNS.

- I HAVE '70S SIDEBURNS.

- [laughs]

I HAVE A WHOLE NEW MAN IN BED NOW.

- YES, YES, YOU DO.

- THE WORST PART OF KELSEY BEING GONE FOR A YEAR

IS GOING THROUGH IT WITH THE CHILDREN.

THEY MISS DAD.

- UNHAND THAT CHILD.

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT.

- ALL RIGHT, OH.

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT.

- I THINK HE'S RIGHT HERE.

OH, OH, OH, OH, OH.

- [laughs]

- OH, OH, OH. [laughs]

ARE YOU GONNA HIT ME?

[chuckles] - WELCOME HOME, DAD.

- GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT.

[chuckles]

AH!

[laughing and grunting]

AH.

[laughter]

- MY HUSBAND WANTS TO STAY

IN NEW YORK CITY AS OF RIGHT NOW.

I THINK HE'S IN HIS HONEYMOON STAGE WITH THE PLAY,

SO GIVE HIM A YEAR.

I'LL SEE HOW HE FEELS THEN.

- [laughs] HOW'S THAT?

WHOA, LOOK OUT. OH, NO, INCOMING.

- I DON'T KNOW, I M MIGHT HAVE TO DO

SOME PILLOW FIGHTING HERE.

[grunts]

- I'VE SPENT 13 YEARS GETTING TO KNOW CAMILLE

IN A WAY THAT OTHERS JUST DON'T.

AND I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND THAT,

YOU KNOW, 13 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IS EASY ALL THE TIME.

THAT'S--WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT RIDICULOUS

TO CLAIM THAT WE'VE JUST LIVED

IN CONNUBIAL BLISS ALL THESE YEARS.

[all screaming]

- OH, CUT IT OUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S-- LET'S GO GET A DRINK.

[laughs]

- A PICTURE I.D., HE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

- A PICTURE I.D.? JUST JOKING.

- OH! SHE GOT ME.

- IT FELT ODD TO ME TO BE GOING TO NEW YORK WITHOUT ADRIENNE.

- WELCOME TO VIRGIN AMERICA. - THANK YOU.

- GOING TO NEW YORK WITH US TODAY?

- I AM.

I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT HER

WITH ALL SHE HAD GOING ON, AND I MISSED HER.

- YOUR FIRST TIME TO TRAVEL WITH US?

- OH, NO. HUNDREDS OF TIMES.

I KNOW RICHARD. HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

- OH, FANTASTIC.

- I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING.

I WANT TO SEE KELSEY DRESS UP IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR.

- I WAS REALLY CURIOUS TO SEE

IF THE HYPNOTIST HAD WORKED.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, WELCOME TO VIRGIN AMERICA.

- USUALLY THE DAYS LEADING UP TO GOING,

I ALREADY START WORKING THIS NUMBER ON MYSELF OF,

"OH, MY GOD, I'VE GOT TO GET ON A PLANE IN 48 HOURS.

OH, MY GOD, 24 HOURS."

RIGHT NOW, I'M STILL ON THE GROUND,

BUT WE'LL SEE HOW I DO AFTER WE TAKE OFF.

- YOU'RE FAST.

THAT'S GOOD.

USUALLY IN CALIFORNIA THEY'RE VERY SLOW.

EVERYTHING'S A LITTLE SLOWER IN CALIFORNIA.

MY MOM LIVES IN NEW JERSEY.

I'VE BEEN TRAVELING, LIKE, THREE DIFFERENT TIME ZONES

AND I REALLY NEEDED TO GET MY NAILS DONE,

SO I REALLY WANTED TO SEE MY MOM.

SO I CALLED HER UP, I SAID, "JOIN ME."

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

- I'M DOING WELL. I'M DOING VERY WELL.

- YOU LOOK GOOD... - I FEEL GOOD.

- CONSIDERING EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, AND--

- IT'S BEEN A JOURNEY.

I'M GLAD THAT KELSEY FOUND A REALLY GREAT DOCTOR FOR YOU.

SO MY MOM, ABOUT TWO MONTHS AGO,

FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAD CANCER.

SHE'S GOING THROUGH CHEMO, BUT IT'S GOOD.

IT'S MORE OF A TOPICAL CHEMOTHERAPY.

AND THE PROGNOSIS AT THIS POINT IS REALLY GOOD.

- I'M HERE, AND I'M DOING WONDERFULLY.

- UNFORTUNATELY, THIS GENETIC GENE

IS IN OUR FAMILY TOO.

I WENT FOR THE BRCA1 AND THE BRCA2 SCREENING, TESTING,

THE GENOME TESTING. - YES.

- I TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE SAME MUTATION.

SO THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT IMMEDIATELY,

OH, MY GOD, MAYBE I'M BEING PARANOID,

BUT I GET MORE TESTS DONE PER YEAR THAN--

I JUST GOT OUT OF THE DOCTOR.

I WENT INTO UCLA, OH, WHAT WAS IT, MONDAY,

AND HAD A BATTERY OF TESTS DONE.

I'M STILL RECOVERING FROM THAT.

THEN I'M ON A PLANE.

AND I'M WORKING.

I'M PRODUCING THIS SHOW FOR NICKELODEON.

WELL, TRYING. WE'RE IN DEVELOPMENT.

- WONDERFUL. - AND I'M PACKING THE KIDS.

AND WE'RE STILL ON HAWAII TIME, SO--

- I KNOW, IT'S A LOT.

- I'M TIRED.

I COULD GO HOME AND SLEEP FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT

AND BE VERY HAPPY.

I'M REALLY TIRED.

AND WITH KELSEY AND ALL THIS HAPPENING,

KELSEY HAS MOVED. - I KNOW.

- SO I'VE BEEN ALL ALONE WITH THE KIDS.

WELL, THANK GOD THAT I HAVE NICOLE

AND MY "BLOND-TOURAGE," I CALL THEM.

MY STAFF.

THANK GOD. - I KNOW.

- 'CAUSE USUALLY WHEN YOU GO THROUGH THIS

AND A FAMILY MEMBER'S SICK,

YOU HAVE YOUR HUSBAND OR YOUR LOVED ONE THERE

WITH YOU OR YOUR--

THANK GOD I HAVE MY FRIENDS.

MY MOM AND I ARE VERY CLOSE.

SHE'S FANTASTIC.

SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.

- I THINK YOU HAVE TO FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT IT.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE.

- POSITIVE ENERGY. - ALL THE TIME.

- SO WHERE'S CAMILLE?

- SHE'S IN NEW YORK ALREADY.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S ALREADY IN NEW YORK?

- BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION WITH KYLE?

- WAIT A MINUTE, I'M CONFUSED.

- I WANT THE TRUTH.

- IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF ME. - IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU.

- YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

I THINK SHE WENT TO SPEND TIME WITH KELSEY.

- NO, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO FLY WITH ALL OF--

- I THINK SHE'S MISSING HER HUSBAND.

- THESE BLOODY SHOES ARE KILLING ME.

- OH, HERE, 37-B.

GOING TO NEW YORK THIS WEEKEND WILL BE THE FIRST TIME

I'VE SEEN CAMILLE SINCE WE HAD A LITTLE INCIDENT IN VEGAS.

- I JUST THINK THE WHOLE THING'S

GOTTEN KIND OF, LIKE, BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION.

- I THINK KYLE SHOULD JUST BRING IT UP TO HER AND ASK HER

AND TELL HER, "THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT WHAT I MEANT,

IF THAT'S HOW IT WAS INTERPRETED."

- I FEEL THAT CAMILLE IS A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON

AND THAT MAYBE SHE MISINTERPRETED

WHAT MY SISTER HAD SAID.

- WELL, I'M JUST GONNA TALK TO HER WHEN WE GET THERE.

I WANT TO HAVE FUN THIS WEEKEND.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THAT HANGING OVER ME.

- NO, I THINK SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU TOO.

- WHAT DID SHE SAY?

- WELL, SHE WAS UPSET.

- SHE WAS UPSET? - YEAH, SHE WAS UPSET.

- WHAT IS SHE UPSET ABOUT?

- YOU KNOW WHAT, IT GOT DIFFICULT

BECAUSE I KEPT SAYING TO HER,

"I DIDN'T HEAR IT,

BUT I KNOW IT WAS MEANT WITH GOOD INTENTION."

I THINK YOU MISINTERPRETED IT, I REALLY DO.

- SO YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT PART? - NO, I DIDN'T HEAR IT.

- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID TO ME.

- I DON'T THINK THAT SHE MEANT THAT AT ALL.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT.

- LET ME JUST TELL YOU.

OKAY, I SAID TO HER,

"IS KELSEY MEETING YOU IN HAWAII?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO." AND I SAID, "OH, REALLY?"

AND I THOUGHT, OH, THAT'S BRAVE.

BECAUSE MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS-- - BUT WHY WAS SHE UPSET?

- WELL, LET ME FINISH. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS,

OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S BRAVE OF HER BECAUSE--

I MEAN, FOR ME TO GO ON A VACATION

WITH JUST YOUR KIDS WITH NO HUSBAND AND NO FRIENDS

IS--THAT'S, YOU KNOW.

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT, WOW.

AND ALSO, TOO BAD THAT HE DOESN'T GET TO SPEND

SPRING BREAK WITH THIS FAMILY.

I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

I DON'T KNOW.

MY HUSBAND DOES BUSINESS WITH KELSEY AND CAMILLE.

AND HIS CLIENTS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM.

AND IF THEY DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH HIM,

IF AFFECTS HIM FINANCIALLY.

I REALLY FEEL BAD BECAUSE IT'S BETWEEN CAMILLE AND I,

NOT BETWEEN MAURICIO AND KELSEY AND CAMILLE.

- THIS IS RIDICULOUS. SORT IT OUT.

I WANT TO HAVE A NICE WEEKEND.

IT'S RIDICULOUS. - WELL, WE WILL.

I'M NOT GONNA LET IT AFFECT THE WEEKEND.

I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS.

WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE VEGAS.

AND I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT HAPPENED,

BUT I DON'T WANT ANY PROBLEMS.

I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.

WE JUST KINDA LIKE START FROM SCRATCH.

- WELL, I SAW IT ALL, AND THEN KYLE CRYING,

AND THEN CAMILLE LIKE THIS ON THE PLANE.

SO IT WAS LIKE--

- I THINK SHE MADE HER FEEL LIKE SHE WAS INSIGNIFICANT

WITHOUT KELSEY.

- SHE'S FEELING INSECURE.

- YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT I AM GETTING

FROM WHAT KYLE

AND LISA'S CONVERSATION WITH CAMILLE,

BUT I DIDN'T TALK TO HER ABOUT THAT AT ALL.

- MYSELF GROWING UP AS A CHILD ACTRESS,

I HAD NOT A WHOLE LOT OF FRIENDS.

AND ONE OF MY FRIENDS SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME

IT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF FRIEND

TO BE WITH A CELEBRITY.

YOU KNOW, "STEP ASIDE. CAN WE TAKE YOUR PICTURE?"

AND IT CAN BE DIFFICULT.

AND SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME

THAT SHE HAD FELT INSECURE SOMETIMES BEING WITH ME.

- SO OBVIOUSLY SHE'S INSECURE.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A PSYCHIATRIST,

BUT THAT'S A CLEAN CASE OF PROJECTING.

SO WE NEITHER--YOU KNOW. WELL, HELLO.

YOU'RE THINKING THAT, NOT ME.

DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

- HOPEFULLY EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY

BETWEEN THE GIRLS.

IT'S LIKE A STORM IN A BLOODY TEA CUP.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS,

THEY HAVE A HABIT OF KIND OF ROLLING AROUND

AND THEN EXPLODING LATER.

- WHATEVER, MOVING ON.

MOVING ON.

- MOVING ON. - [sighs]

- COMING UP...

- YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR LITTLE VOICE

AND TRY TO ACT ALL SWEET, OKAY?

- BUT YOU LIKE TO THROW LITTLE DIGS AT ME.

- THAT IS SUCH BULL[bleep].

- HEY, KYLE.

I HEAR YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FEAR OF FLYING.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME UP TO THE COCKPIT?

[laughter]

- YES, I DO.

OH, MY GOD.

I KNOW HOW TO FLY.

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SO COOL.

SHOULD WE TELL THE GIRLS THAT I'M GONNA FLY THE PLANE?

[indistinct]

BUT ISN'T THERE, LIKE, SOMETHING MISSING?

I FEEL LIKE THERE'S, LIKE, AN EXTRA--

- THIS IS A DIFFERENT AIRCRAFT.

- WHERE'S THE STEERING WHEEL?

- SEE THE SIDE STICK RIGHT THERE?

- OH, I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT.

- NO, PUSH IT, PUSH IT.

SEE?

HA HA.

- [makes buzzing sound]

- THAT'S HOW WE DO IT. - OH, MY GOD.

- SHE DOES KNOW HER STUFF.

- GOING INTO THE COCKPIT TO MEET THE PILOTS,

I THINK IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER.

BUT THEN I FEEL THE HYPNOTIST REALLY HELPED ME A LOT.

I DEFINITELY FELT A DEEPER SENSE OF CALM.

YOU GUYS ARE BOTH FLYING THE PLANE?

- WE ARE, YES.

- AND YOU'RE, LIKE, HANDSOME AND EVERYTHING.

THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS GOOD. I'M FEELING BETTER NOW.

[chuckles] HE IS HANDSOME.

- REALLY CUTE.

- WHAT, DID YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER,

OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE APPETIZERS?

- APPETIZERS.

- WHO'S MISSING THEIR WIFE?

I MEAN, ARE YOU MISSING YOUR WIVES?

- IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS.

- THEY JUST LEFT.

- NO, BUT I FEEL LIKE MY ARM'S BEEN CUT OFF.

- AWW.

- YOU CAN'T BE ALONE WITHOUT LISA.

- NO, THIS ONE IS A-- - I'VE BEEN MARRIED 28 YEARS.

- 28 YEARS.

- THAT'S INCREDIBLE. - FIRST WIFE?

- I MARRIED HER WHEN SHE WAS 21.

- CONGRATULATIONS.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD.

- I'VE BEEN MARRIED LONGER THAN YOU THREE PUT TOGETHER.

- SO, KEN, GIVE US A SECRET.

HOW DO YOU MAKE IT LAST FOREVER?

- NEVER GO TO BED, GO TO SLEEP, IN A FIGHT.

- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I JUST HEARD THAT RECENTLY.

I STILL HAVE TO LEARN THAT.

- I GO TO BED MAD,

AND I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT ANYMORE.

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT ANYMORE.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA CHANGE JUST LIKE THAT.

- THAT'S WHY, AS A GUY,

YOU'D BETTER--YOU'D RATHER BE HAPPY THAN RIGHT.

BUT FROM THE POINT OF VIEW

OF, LIKE, GETTING, LIKE, EIGHT GUYS TOGETHER

OR EIGHT GIRLS AND A GUY,

THE CONVERSATION AT A DINNER TABLE

WITH EIGHT GIRLS IS JUST SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING

AND JUICY THAN EIGHT GUYS.

- I MEAN, EVEN TONIGHT'S BORING.

- [laughs]

- THAT'S--YOU KNOW, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

HE'S GOT TO HANG OUT WITH THE GUYS.

LET THEM HAVE THEIR OWN GOSSIP,

AND LET THE GUYS HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT OUR OWN STUFF.

- ARE YOU MISSING YOUR WOMEN NOW?

- YEAH. - WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?

- THEY'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT, FOR SURE.

- THEY'RE GOING OUT? - FOR SURE.

- I THINK THEY'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO THE BAR.

- THEY'RE DEFINITELY GOING OUT TONIGHT.

- THEY'RE REFRESHING.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK, THAT ALL THE GIRLS

ARE ON A GIRLS' TRIP BUT THEY'RE STAYING HOME?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THAT'S SO NAIVE.

- WHO WANTS TO GO GRAB A HOT DOG AND SOME COFFEE?

WE'RE IN NEW YORK NOW.

- LET'S DO IT.

- FLYING TO NEW YORK, I WAS MUCH CALMER

THAN USUAL, DEFINITELY.

I FEEL THE HYPNOTIST REALLY HELPED ME A LOT.

I WASN'T AS STRESSED-OUT-FEELING THE WHOLE FLIGHT.

[cork pops] - OH!

- HERE'S TO A FANTASTIC WEEKEND, CHEERS.

- BEING HERE IN NEW YORK AND HAVING THE BEST TIME.

- TO FRIENDSHIPS.

AND TO MEN YOU WANT.

[laughter]

- YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE.

- THANK YOU.

- OH, MY, MY.

- I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS.

WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE VEGAS.

- WELCOME. - WHAT A BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT.

- WELCOME TO NEW YORK. - THANK YOU.

- HI, KIM. HEY!

- GORGEOUS.

- THIS LOOKS GOOD.

THIS IS GONNA GO FINE.

- LOOK AT THIS. NICE.

- IT'S LIKE A PARTY HOTEL.

[overlapping chatter]

- OKAY.

- OH, WOW, THIS IS REALLY PRETTY, HUH?

- LOOK. - OH, THAT'S SWEET.

- THAT IS SWEET.

- AWW.

- THANK YOU, DARLING.

- WE WENT UP AND LOOKED AT THIS BEAUTIFUL SUITE,

AND EVERYTHING SEEMED GOOD, COPACETIC.

EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY.

- I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU,

BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE VEGAS.

AND I KNOW THERE WAS SOME MISCOMMUNICATION

WITH THE TWO OF US.

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,

BECAUSE NOW I THINK THAT YOU MISUNDERSTOOD

WHEN I WAS ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR VACATION.

I HONESTLY MEANT,

"IS YOUR HUSBAND MEETING YOU FOR YOUR SPRING BREAK?"

I SWEAR TO YOU, MY HAND TO GOD, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.

- WELL, WHAT YOU SAID WAS, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY--"

- NO, YOU HEARD THAT. YOU HEARD THAT.

I NEVER SAID THAT, CAMILLE. MY HAND TO GOD.

I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

- I SWEAR I HEARD THAT.

- I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU?

- MY GOAL WITH KYLE WAS TO SMOOTH THINGS OVER.

IT WAS NEVER TO HAVE CONTROVERSY.

OKAY, SUPPOSEDLY I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU SAY THAT.

- NEVER WOULD THOSE WORDS EVER COME OUT OF MY MOUTH.

- AND WHEN I HEARD THAT,

I WANT, OH, MY GOD, WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT?

"WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE INTERESTED IN YOU WITHOUT KELSEY?"

- OH, MY GOD, NEVER. - AND I JUST--

THAT'S WHAT MADE ME SAY,

"OH, WHY ARE YOU INTERROGATING ME?"

- I DON'T LIKE HAVING ANY BAD FEELINGS WITH ANYONE.

THESE KIND OF THINGS, LIKE, TORTURE ME.

THEY, LIKE, EAT ME UP INSIDE.

I DON'T WANT THAT.

I WOULD NEVER WANT YOU TO THINK I'M THAT KIND OF PERSON,

'CAUSE I'M SO NOT,

ESPECIALLY FROM ME, WHEN I'M LIKE--

- I KNOW, YOU REACHED OUT TO ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.

- WHEN I HEARD YOU THOUGHT I SAID THAT, I WAS--

- YEAH, I DID, SO OKAY.

- LET ME KNOW IF THEY NEED A REFEREE.

- I DON'T THINK KYLE'S AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION.

I THINK AS MUCH AS SHE DOESN'T LIKE CONFRONTATION,

KYLE'S NOT AFRAID OF IT.

SHE LIKES TO GET TO THE POINT OF WHAT'S GOING ON

AND DEAL WITH IT.

- ALSO, YOU KNOW, I CALLED--

I KEPT CALLING A FEW TIMES, AND YOU NEVER, EVER CALLED ME.

AND I FINALLY WAS LIKE-- LISA HAD SAID,

"WHY DON'T YOU CALL HER AND PATCH THINGS UP?"

- I DIDN'T GET THOSE CALLS.

- YEAH, BUT YOU'VE NEVER MADE AN EFFORT TO CALL ME.

SO IT'S ALWAYS ME CALLING YOU AND MAKING AN EFFORT.

- SO I UNDERSTAND THAT. - DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

SO I KINDA JUST WENT, I'M GONNA BACK OFF.

- OH, OKAY, I'M JUST REALLY SHY,

AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT ME.

I'M REALLY SHY, AND SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE

I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE.

- FIRST OF ALL, DON'T BE INSECURE

AND DON'T BE SHY,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED TO FEEL THAT WAY.

- I DON'T FEEL INSECURE.

I JUST REALLY FEEL-- I'M SO SHY.

I'M, LIKE, DEATHLY SHY.

SHE BROUGHT UP INSECURITY,

AND I WENT, WHERE'S THAT COMING FROM?

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH RETURNING A PHONE CALL?

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

THAT DOESN'T CONNECT IN ANY WAY.

- YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND,

I FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER.

- WHY?

I WANTED YOU TO MEET WITH THEM,

AND EVERYONE LOVES YOU,

AND EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE GREAT.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE THAT.

- OKAY, LET'S JUST LET IT--

- I'M REALLY GLAD WE CLEARED IT UP THOUGH.

OKAY. - OKAY, GOOD.

- I FELT BAD. I REALLY, REALLY DID.

I WANT US TO HAVE FUN. I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN.

I'M EXCITED TO SEE YOUR HUSBAND'S SHOW.

- I'M OVER IT. LET'S PUT THIS IN THE PAST.

LET'S MOVE ON. IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.

- WELL, I'M GLAD WE CLEARED IT UP.

- THEY'RE LAUGHING, YAY.

- THEY'RE GOOD.

I KNEW AS SOON AS THEY SPOKE THEY'D BE FINE.

- OKAY, LET'S--

- MOVING ON, HAVING FUN.

- HELLO. - HI.

- ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,

SO WHAT ARE WE DOING NOW?

ARE WE GOING OUT? ARE YOU GOING OUT?

- I WOULD LOVE FOR EVERYBODY TO GO OUT.

WE SHOULD GO OUT.

- SHOULD WE GO, LIKE, BRUSH UP

AND THEN MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS IN THE LOBBY?

DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT?

- YEAH. - YEAH?

WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE LOBBY.

- OKAY, WE'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

- OKAY, SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - THANK YOU.

- YOU WANT TO JUST HANG OUT WITH ME, HONEY?

- YEAH, I'M HERE WITH YOU.

- ALL RIGHT.

- HOW'S ADRIENNE DOING?

- YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST GONNA CALL HER MAYBE

AND SEE IF I COULD GET HER AND JUST--

BUT IT'S KIND OF GETTING LATE.

PROBABLY GOING TO BED. I'LL JUST SEND HER A TEXT.

I'M JUST GONNA TELL HER--

- YEAH, I REALLY WISH SHE WAS HERE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT...

- MY EXPECTATIONS FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING

WERE EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE FINE.

HOW WRONG I WAS.

- NO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY INSECURITY PLAYS INTO THIS.

- WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

- WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?

- I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED.

- YEAH, ME TOO.

- THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA SAY.

- I JUST DIDN'T KNOW

WHY YOU'D THINK I'M SO INSECURE.

YOU SAID IT. I DIDN'T SAY IT.

- WHEN I LEFT CAMILLE UPSTAIRS AND TAYLOR,

EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY-DORY.

AND THEN SUDDENLY SHE COMES DOWN,

HER FEELINGS WENT FROM THERE TO THERE.

SHE CHANGED 180 DEGREES.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, BUT ALL I KNOW

IS I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE IN THE ROOM

AND I THOUGHT WE FIXED IT,

AND YOU CAME DOWN HERE AND WERE RUDE.

SO THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

DOES SHE HAVE AN IDENTICAL TWIN?

ARE THERE TWO CAMILLES? I'M NOT SURE.

- SO IF THAT WAS SAID UPSTAIRS

AND EVERYTHING WAS CALM WHEN YOU GUYS HAD A DRINK,

THEN WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEN TO SUDDENLY POW?

- WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND I SAID,

HMM, WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO APOLOGIZE TO ONE ANOTHER,

I THINK IT'S NICE TO BE OPEN AND HONEST.

BUT I THINK THROWING A LITTLE DIG ABOUT INSECURITY--

- WELL, IT'S ONLY A DIG TO SOMEONE

WHO IS, LIKE, PARANOID ABOUT THAT.

'CAUSE IF SOMEONE SAID, "DON'T BE INSECURE ABOUT THAT,"

I WOULD BE LIKE, "OKAY, YOU KNOW, THEN I WON'T BE."

- I DON'T THINK THAT'S SINCERE.

- YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR LITTLE VOICE

AND TRY TO ACT ALL SWEET, OKAY?

- BUT YOU LIKE TO THROW LITTLE DIGS AT ME.

- THAT IS SUCH BULL[bleep].

- I'M SO ABOVE THIS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED TO GET HELP.

- COMING UP...

- I DON'T THINK THAT. YOU THINK THAT.

- NO, YOU SAID IT TO ME. YOU SAID IT.

I WOULDN'T MAKE THAT UP.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep] LIAR, CAMILLE.

- I'M SO ABOVE THIS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED TO GET HELP.

- WHY DO YOU JUST KEEP DIGGING?

THOSE ARE SUCH MEAN THINGS TO SAY.

- THE CONVERSATION YOU GUYS HAD IN THE ROOM WENT OKAY.

- YEAH, BUT HONESTLY,

I'M GONNA BE HONEST ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION.

I REALLY FEEL THAT, I MEAN,

I REALLY DID HEAR YOU SAY WHAT YOU DID.

I MEAN, YOU KEEP TELLING ME YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT.

- YOU'RE STILL OBVIOUSLY THINKING

THAT I WAS BEING RUDE ABOUT HAWAII, STILL.

- I'M JUST NOT USED TO GETTING INTERROGATED LIKE THAT.

- SEE, NOW YOU ADMIT.

YOU THOUGHT THAT MY ASKING ABOUT YOUR VACATION--

- YOU ASKED ME A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

- I WAS BEING NICE TO YOU.

NOW I'M NOT EVEN GONNA ASK YOU ANY QUESTIONS, OKAY?

'CAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU TWIST EVERYTHING.

- I'M NOT TWISTING ANYTHING.

I'M JUST-- I'M NOT TWISTING ANYTHING.

- YOU NEED TO GET A THERAPIST IMMEDIATELY.

- WHY DO YOU KEEP THROWING DIGS?

- BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T THINK THAT, "A,"

AND "B," I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

EVEN IF I DID THINK IT, I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

- YOU DID SAY IT. - WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?

I DON'T THINK THAT. YOU THINK THAT.

- NO, YOU SAID IT TO ME.

I'M NOT LIKE THAT.

I'M REALLY NOT LIKE THAT, KYLE.

- GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT.

- I'VE SEEN KYLE GET UPSET BEFORE.

BUT THIS WAS-- SHE WAS REALLY UPSET.

- I WAS ASKING EVERYBODY ABOUT,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR YOUR SPRING BREAK?"

THAT'S NORMAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN FRIENDS, CAMILLE.

- YEAH, BUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU THAT WELL.

- OH, THEN I WON'T ASK YOU ANY MORE QUESTIONS, OKAY?

I WILL NOT ASK YOU ANY MORE QUESTIONS, BELIEVE ME,

BECAUSE YOU'RE PARANOID AND DELUSIONAL.

- THIS IS SO OUT OF--

- YOU'RE JUST COVERING YOUR ASS.

- I HAVE NO--

I DON'T HAVE ANY REASON TO COVER MY ASS.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. - YOU SAID IT.

YOU SAID IT. I WOULDN'T MAKE IT UP.

I JUST-- I WOULDN'T MAKE THAT UP.

I HAVE NO REASON TO.

- I JUST FELT LIKE EVERYONE'S FEELINGS WERE GETTING HURT

AND NOTHING WAS GETTING ACCOMPLISHED.

- WELL, THAT'S SUCH BULL[bleep], CAMILLE.

- AND THE MORE I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF,

JUST--SHE JUST KEPT GETTING MADDER AND MADDER.

I KNEW I WAS WINNING.

I JUST KNOW, COME ON.

YOU KNOW, THE PERSON THAT REMAINS IN CONTROL

IS THE ONE THAT WINS.

SHE LOST HER COOL.

SORRY, KYLE, YOU LOSE.

WELL, SHE KEEPS ATTACKING ME.

- I'M NOT ATTACKING. I'M DEFENDING MYSELF.

AND IF YOU'RE SAYING I SAID THINGS I DIDN'T SAY,

THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?

- YOU DID SAY THAT, KYLE. YES, YOU DID.

I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER, WHO HAS CANCER,

YOU DID SAY THAT.

- YOU THINK THAT I SAID THAT.

- NO, YOU DID SAY IT. YOU SAID IT.

- OH, MY GOD, CAMILLE.

- YOU JUST CAN'T COP TO IT.

I'M JUST--I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU JUST CAN'T COP TO IT.

- YOU'RE SUCH A [bleep] LIAR, CAMILLE.

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- DO NOT [bleep] DRAG ME INTO THIS.

- OH, REALLY? DON'T PISS ME OFF.

- DO NOT UPSET ME.

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE YOU OUT BACK

AND PULL SOME OKLAHOMA ON YOUR ASS.

- CAMILLE, STRAIGHT AHEAD. RIGHT HERE, PLEASE.

- VERY NICE, CAMILLE.

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M WELL.

- IT WAS SO AWKWARD AND UNCOMFORTABLE.

WHY DID I COME?

- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M WELL.

- SHE VERBALLY ASSAULTED ME.

I WILL NOT ACCEPT THAT.

- WHAT HAVE I DONE?

- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,

GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.

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